5

Cheers... Bottom up!

"Why are you acting up again? Everything is going great; why do you want out!"

I'm in major depression. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I look like the dead. Even the mirror does not want to show my pathetic reflection. My breath is labored and laborious. How can I be in this world without her?

Well, she's in this world... She just hates me, sob...

"The website is making money now. You can find a replacement for me."

"You're good at what you do. You also have experience. And you're my sister. Why should I look for a replacement?" Puth licks his lips in frustration before he stares at me. "You fought with Karn again?"

"…"

"I'm right. Damned! What's with Karn and you? Be honest with me, did she steal your boyfriend?"

I turn to look at my brother when he says that. I'm not angry because she stole my boyfriend. I'm furious that my piece of shit ex-boyfriend is attempting to rekindle his relationship with the cute woman.

"Why are you acting in this manner? There must be something behind it."

"Nothing." I get up and walk weakly upstairs to my bedroom. "There's nothing, not even a soul, in this body of mine."

My depression concerns my parents. So Puth, the brother who really loves his sister but can't get anything out of me, has to call my best friend, whom he can get a hold of, Meen. He calls her over to my house. As soon as my friend sees my condition, she puts her hand over her chest.

"If I pray, will you burn?"

"I'm not dead yet."

"You look dead."

"True."

I look out the window at the sky, as if it is the only thing that brightens my gray heart. Damned... How can I be in such a mood at a time like this?

But I'm so depressed. Sob.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"I'm leaving then."

"That's it?" I glance at my friend, who doesn't even try to console me. "At a time like this, you should try harder and ask why I don't eat or sleep out of concern. I'm making my parents worry. And, eventually, you will have to carry me to the hospital."

"I have to go through that much trouble for you? Do I have so much time on hand that I can butt into my friend's business like in Chao planoy's novel?"

I pretend to curse her without making any sound, while Meen, who pretended she was leaving, turns to wink at me and sigh.

"Okay. I'll try harder. Tell me, what happened?"

"I was slapped "

"Who!" And my friend, who's always ready to run through the minefield for me, gets up and lifts her sleeve in frustration. "Who dares slap my friend?"

"Aontakarn."

"Oh? She's a bitch. Why did she slap you? If her reason is not good enough, I will throw shit at her." My friend's bold bravery made me, who was going to play big at first, pull her back down to sit beside me.

"Well..."

"What?"

"Well, it's like this..."

I give her a short version to save time. And after I finish telling her, Meen immediately pretends to spit at me.

"Gosh! If it were me, I wouldn't just slap you. I would throw a dog with rabies at your face. Bitch! Was that a warning? From whichever way you look at it, it sounds like you are jealous of your ex and are telling his new wife... Don't you dare touch my man."

"Crazy! What "wife?" That's rude. You know that that's not my intention. Toy likes to hit and run. It breaks my heart to see MY Aontakarn get hit and run like a flower on the street that he just picks and throws away."

"MY Aontakarn... you say that so confidently." Meen mocks me sarcastically before she gets to the point. "He's probably done that to your precious woman so many times already."

"Slap your mouth, counting to the sum of your parents' ages."

"My mouth can't take that... Geez, you're an idiot. Warning someone like that is sure to get them angry. You're not close to her. You butted into her personal business. And she already thinks that you don't like her. That made it even worse."

"That's why I'm depressed right now. I meant well. I wanted her to be safe and sound. Why does she have to hate me for that..." My voice is shaking, and my tears are about to fall. My sadness makes my friend cradle my face in her palms and look me in the eye.

"What's the matter with you? This makes you cry? She's just a stranger to you."

"She's not a stranger! She's Aontakarn... MY Aontakarn." I say that with a capital MY to stress my ownership.

"You still like her after what she did to you?"

"Are you crazy? I don't like her... I just admire her." I put my hand on the left side of my chest, which is aching badly right now. "It's a strange feeling. Though she wasn't nice to me, I don't dislike or hate her. I can't bear to. It's like you love Sushi."

"You love her like I love my dog?"

"I was just making a comparison!" I bare my teeth at my friend because she keeps interrupting me. "It's like... adoration. Are you mad at your dog when it pees on your leg?"

"Don't tell me she peed on you."

"Bitch."

"Ah, I was kidding... Of course, I would be mad."

"And do you hate your dog?"

"No."

"That's it. That's adoration."

"You're down bad. When did you get to know her? It's like you two have been bonded since your previous life."

"Probably in my dream... I don't remember it exactly, just those eyes I told you about. And when I saw that Aontakarn had those exact same eyes, I bonded with her. It's like I've known her all my life."

Everything goes quiet. Meen doesn't interrupt me like she did. She just looks at me quietly and nods.

"You can't explain it, huh?"

"Ah-huh."

"Let's start with what happened. You're very upset because Aontakarn slapped you. And you were slapped because of your bad mouth. She was a bit quick with her hand; she didn't need to use force..."

"Maybe I got too emotional."

"Apologize to her."

"I don't even dare look at her. Moreover, Karn probably doesn't want to see my face again. I just resigned from the team. Puth is very angry with me."

"You're running away from the problem. You tied the knot, and you have to learn to untie it. You hurt her, so you must apologize to her. That's very simple."

"It's hard."

"I will make it simple for you."

"How?"

"Friends were created to fix problems for the two leads... Aontakarn is still the sports news announcer?"

"Yes."

Meen winks at me.

"That's all I need to know."

I don't know what Meen meant. She refused to say anything, no matter how many times I asked. But around three days after that, Puth calls a team meeting to announce my departure (because I haven't changed my mind).

"Like I have mentioned earlier, Chris, our partner who handles the video editing, wants to resign due to a personal issue. So I called everyone here today to make a formal announcement."

Everyone remains silent. Aontakarn glances at me a bit but turns away when our eyes meet.

Gosh...

"Shall we have a goodbye party?"

Aontakarn says that, which surprises Puth. And yes... me too.

"Are you okay with that, Kam? What about everyone else?"

"Okay. We've worked together for many months; it's a bit too sad to just leave. Let's have a farewell party today... What shall we eat, BBQ pork or shabu?"

"It's a farewell party. There should be alcohol."

"Good." Tho likes to drink, so he immediately agrees to that. "Let's do that. There should be alcohol, so let's go karaoke?"

"No. I don't like a crowded place. Let's go to a place we can just chill out." Jetha suggests, and everyone agrees. There's only me who's a bit nervous about this.

Alcohol—will I make it out alive?

"Cheers!"

Everyone puts their beer mugs together in the middle of the table. We're at a place with live country music. I'm the only one who's drinking plain water. It's not that I'm well-behaved or anything. I just don't want anyone to see my split personality.

Argh... it's so scary.

"It's kind of sad that you won't be on our team anymore. But never mind. If you prefer that, it's okay. I love you, sis." Puth messes with my hair and drinks his beer. I am still drinking plain water. I glance over in the direction of Aontakarn, who's sipping her beer slowly.

She can handle alcohol well.

"Why are you drinking plain water? Everyone is here for you. You're being rude."

"I'm having fun as it is." I say that as I wave my hand as well as shake my head to go with it. I want to avoid drinking, so I excuse myself to the restroom. "I need to go pee. I'll be back."

I look over at Aontakarn a bit and walk out. The longer I'm near her, the more sad I become. It's like we're arm's length apart, but she's out of my reach. Why is it so hard to be me?

In the end, instead of going to the restroom, I walked out to sit alone in the parking lot. As I let my eyes wander, I could smell a refreshing perfume. It makes my heart race.

Of course... I remember this scent. It's Aontakarn's perfume.

"What are you doing out here alone in the dark? It's dangerous." I sit up straight right away. I don't know how to react, so I just sit quietly. The petite woman sits by my side and hands me a beer mug. "Take it."

"Huh?"

"We're patching things up. Take it."

Aontakarn stares at me forcefully. The sweet woman is now acting like a gangster who's inviting his friend to drink beer. When I received her invitation, I had no choice but to take the mug and look at it with teary eyes.

I will lick the mug... It's such a beautiful mug.

"Drink up."

"Huh?"

"The beer... cheers." The petite woman grabs her mug and forces a cheer before she stares at my face. "You have to drink it out of good manners."

"Ah... but... I can't handle alcohol well."

"Phony."

"What?!" My eyes become wide open in shock when I hear that. Yet Aontakarn just shrugs.

"It's true. Who can't drink beer these days? You don't look that well-behaved. You can drink it just fine, but you say that you can't... You don't want to patch things up with me, or what?"

"It's not like that. I really can't drink it."

"Then we don't have to patch things up. I'm done with this."

The petite woman, who was trying to patch things up, gets up and gets ready to go back inside. In shock, I grab her white shirt. So she turns to look me in the eye.

"Fine, I'll drink it. You didn't have to do that." I drink the beer as soon as I finish saying that. At first, I was just going to take a sip. But the person standing over my head pushes the mug to nudge me to bottom up.

Gulp...

I... finished it. Damned!

"You can drink it just fine. Why say you can't?"

"It doesn't mean I should bottom up like this." I twist my face and start to get nervous. "Damned. Damned."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing." I wave my hand because I don't know how to explain myself. "Let's say that we've patched things up with that beer, right?"

"Probably. I'm no longer angry with you. It's just you now."

"Huh?"

Aontakarn reaches her hand over, as if she's about to touch my face. I lean away out of panic. I was so close to crying because I missed the opportunity to have her petite hand touch my face.

Dumb... Why am I so dumb?

"I'm sorry... I'm talking about that day when I unintentionally hit you in the face."

How cute? She used the word "hit" and not "slap." It makes it seem so "awww." How do I explain it? "Awww" for me means the cuteness of all the seals in this world bundled up together.

MY Aontakarn is so awww...

"Ah..." I rub my face a little. "It's okay. Anyone would be angry at what I said."

"So, you're not angry with me?"

"Why would I be? I like you a lot."

"Huh?"

"I"

Blank...

The morning light from the window makes me squint. I look around. Everything seems strangely familiar. It's my bedroom...

I was just talking to Aontakarn a moment ago.

Gasp!

Slap.

I slap myself in the face and turn to look at the clock on top of the headboard to be sure. My rising panic makes me jump out of bed and run downstairs. I see Puth grab his car key as he's about to go to work at his office.

"Puth!"

"How's it, rascal?" My brother's greeting makes my parents look at him sternly. Yet he doesn't seem to care. "You're awake. Has the ghost gone out of you?"

"What ghost? How did I get home?"

"You can't remember anything?"

"Remember what?" I run to my brother and shake him with all my might. "What happened? Tell me, now."

"You were so high last night. You turned into someone I don't know."

Argh... my split personality. No wonder I don't remember anything. I just remember that I was talking to Aontakarn in the dark parking lot. We were drinking beer and chatting. Then I remember nothing after that. My head goes blank.

I slowly step backward, out of strength. But I try to keep my composure as I ask out of curiosity.

"Did... I do anything stranger ?"

"Everything that you did last night was strange."

"It's okay. I understand... Let's say, can you give me some highlights? No... Did I do something strange to Kam?" Normally, when I'm drunk with my friends, I will do things I've never done before. But those are my friends; last night, I was with my biological brother and Aontakarn, with whom I have an open crush.

If it's a secret crust, I wouldn't know it myself...

"You must remember something to be asking this. Don't fake it. How can someone remember nothing just because they're drunk? You would have to eat shit for me to believe that."

I'm one who doesn't remember anything when I'm drunk. But to eat shit is going too far.

"So I did something..." I tighten my lips. "What did I do? Just tell me. This is annoying."

"You kissed Aontakarn on the forehead. And you said... So cute, awww. Sweet dreams, MY Aontakarn."

MY Aontakarn...

What did I do?!