11
Aontakarn's happiness
"You're a totally different person when you're drunk."
Puth says that to me after a night of beer-drinking training. He also swallows hard several times.
"Yes. My other self is... Karakate."
"You told me that you were Mew Nittha Jirayungyum."
Great... idiot. She used someone's real name and surname on the ID card this time. I can be anyone but myself when I'm drunk, I guess. My subconsciousness is very scary. Maybe it's like what Meen said to me. My subconsciousness has a heart full of lust. All the sluts must cry.
"Was it bad?"
"No. You're just braver. You dare to say rude words, dare to laugh, and dare to do things you normally wouldn't do. But you don't remember anything when you're drunk?
"It's all very vague. But you can say that I can't remember anything. And I don't like it that I'm like that... I want to be able to get drunk and have control over myself. That's why I asked you to help me."
"Ah... then we should go slow. But why do you want to be able to drink?"
"Aren't you afraid that one day I will fall victim to a guy? Like, waking up and saying, "Fuck! I'm naked, and the bedsheet is full of blood.""
"Meaning you got an abortion?"
"I mean, I lost my virginity."
"Bedsheets full of blood only happen in series. But what you say makes sense. Losing consciousness when you're drunk is scary, especially for someone like you... I don't even know if you're really unconscious. Maybe you fake it to lure a guy to take advantage of you."
I curse at my brother silently without him seeing it. So he goes on to speak with determination.
"Okay! I will train you. Why have a brother if he doesn't help his sister out?"
"Good. From now on, you have to control the amount of beer I drink."
"Okay."
Let's say I'm preparing myself. If I can maintain control over myself when I drink beer, when I'm drunk around Aontakarn, I can maintain self-control. I will always know what I say and do. I'm very afraid that my bravery, which is buried deep down, will let slip that I'm "Apple," her secret admirer.
If Aontakarn knows that it's me, she would probably be disappointed that her only fan is her co-worker.
It would probably be better if the person who admires us were a stranger. It's mysterious. We will want to know how they will support us next. So it's better that I remain a stranger if that can encourage the sweet-faced person to continue her work. It doesn't impact me either way anyway.
I'm still her secret admirer and will continue to be one...
And yes... today is another day that I write her a letter. I wrote it in the morning after I got over my hangover. Because I will get to meet the female announcer today, it would be good if I could give her some encouragement. It seems like she's waiting for something from Apple. I want to bring a smile to her face all day today.
"Miss."
I call out to a female staff member who's walking into the building.
"Yes?"
"Can you please hand this letter to the receptionist? Please tell her it's for Miss Aontakarn."
"Okay."
That woman took the letter easily and did as I requested. She leaves the letter with the receptionist. When I am certain that my mission is successful, I go to wait for Aontakarn at the same cafe without forgetting to text her that I have already arrived.
"Awww is here!"
Aontakarn opens the door and greets me merrily. She even called herself 'Awww' cutely. I unconsciously look at her dreamily. Her joyful mood makes me can't help but ask.
"You seem so happy today. Did you win the lottery?"
"Kan doesn't buy lottery tickets. But... look here." Aontakarn pulls out a letter with an apple scent that I just left at the reception. "Apple sent me a letter."
"Ah, no wonder you're so happy."
"Ah-haaaaaa."
"…"
"Why do you look at me like that?"
"When you smile, the world becomes bright. It would be nice if you smiled like this every day."
"Then let's hope Apple constantly sends me encouragement!" The sweet-faced woman hurriedly opens the letter and shows me the beginning part. "Read this part... Dear you, who is loved. So romantic, yeah? Who is the person who came up with those words?"
"A good, responsible, noble, sentimental, and religious person."
"Maybe Apple is the prime minister. That's his slogan, right?"
"If so, the beginning should be... I will do as promised; just give me a little bit more time."
"Is he here to give or take away our happiness! No, let's not talk politics." Aontakarn changes the topic merrily. She moves from sitting opposite me to sitting next to me and snuggles in. "Does Christ think this handwriting is from... a male or a female?"
"Apple... that's a guy's name?"
I try to distract her.
"Oh? Or... is the letter from Steve Jobs?"
"He's dead."
We stay at the cafe for a while before we go strolling through the night market behind the mall. It's full of food and not too expensive stuff Aontakarn is still talking about Apple. It's as if her entire world evolves around 'Apple Apple Apple.' As someone who knows everything but must pretend to know nothing, I enjoyably listen to the petite one go on and on. Well, she's talking about me after all.
"Apple must be symbolically sensitive." Aontakarn says this with a smile as she looks at hair clips at the market.
"How so?"
"Using Apple to represent oneself is very deep. Do you know why Steve Jobs chose that as his brand logo?"
"No."
"It's because apples are the fruit that Adam and Eve ate. Symbolically, it represents the birth of humankind."
"Wow..."
"Karn thought that Apple was very detailed. Look at the opening... Dear you, who is loved. Who can write a letter to someone with that opening?"
I can't believe that I appeared so intelligent for deciding to use Apple just because the letter paper has that scent. Okay... I'm smart. I will boldly take that compliment.
As for... dear you, who is loved, I stole it from one of Chaoplanoy's novels named "Cindellera's frustrating love." I didn't use any brain cells to come up with that. Hello!
"Oh... or maybe Apple is a woman." Aontakarn makes that observation. It makes me raise my eyebrow.
"Why do you think that?"
"Apple is also sexy. It represents a woman's figure... Oh, why is it so mysterious? But ifs so exciting."
"Kam seems so happy with the letter. Ah... Chris is useless now."
"You're useful." Aontakarn unconsciously wraps her arm around mine. She wants to insist that I'm useful. "Having Chris here with me allows me to talk about Apple with someone. Are you annoyed? I'll stop."
"You can't help yourself. You will talk about Apple again. I really want to see what Apple looks like."
"Actually, there's no need for that. If Apple is comfortable this way, this is good too. I can imagine who Apple is and what the next letter will contain. It's just a bit annoying that I can't reply. I don't want Apple to feel bad that it's a one-way communication."
"I don't think Apple feels that way."
"How do you know?"
Because I'm Apple...
"Fans role is to support their idol. What makes them more happy is seeing their idol smile. So, Karn has to smile often."
The sweet-faced person looks at me with a smile on her face. She seems a bit embarrassed. That makes me embarrassed as well. "This is from someone who was Michael Jackson's fan."
"Oh? Chris is Michael Jackson's fan? So was my mother."
"I'm a lot like your mother."
"That makes me feel good. It's like I'm with my mom. Come to think of it... Can Karn call Chris mom?"
"Huh?" I shrink my neck in shock. That makes Aontakarn burst out laughing.
"Kidding!"
I laugh along when I hear that. The sweet-faced one must be really happy today. It makes me, Apple's, heart very full. I didn't think that supporting someone could make that person this lively.
"When I thought that I could never be happy again, suddenly, Apple and Chris came into my life at the same time. My mother must be very concerned about me, so she sent me you."
"So we met because of Kam's mother... Okay, I'll give the credit to your mother."
"Cute. You agree with everything I say. It would be nice if I could talk to Apple as well." Aontakarn presses her lips together. "Apple hasn't contacted me on Twitter yet."
She's been waiting...
"Apple probably doesn't know my Twitter account yet. But it's okay, I can wait... Oh, mango with sweet fish sauce!" Aontakarn suddenly changes the topic and talks about food. I can only look at her with empathy.
She will be happier if she gets to talk to Apple... that's very easy.
I will contact you tonight, princess!
"Dear you... who is loved
I just noticed that you are on Twitter. I want to let you know that .. your encouragement is here. You can take as much encouragement as you want from me here.
P.S. I'm learning how to use Twitter. I will write you something every day."