'What the fuck is that?'

Inés peered over her shoulder with interest.

'St Agata? I've had some of those.'

Max was out of his seat straight away. This he had to hear. He jostled over their heads and examined the screen. Oooooh. Trust Maria to have found the most breasticle shaped pastries in Sicily. With cherries on top. Literally.

'That's a bit extreme' said Max.

'It's cassatella di Sant Agata' Inés explained. 'It is her feast day today.'

Inés holidayed in Italy often, one of her best friends lived there. Of course her pronunciation was perfecto.

'I'd like to get my hands on one of those' said Max sincerely. 'What flavour is it?'

Inés sighed as Miranda rolled her eyes, scrolling down the description. Sometimes she thought that Maria's food posts were for Max's greedy eyes. She never saw the point in documenting food but this was what the cool kids were doing. She had requested that her girlfriend not take videos of her shoving meals into her mouth though. That was going too far.

'Liqueur? Ricotta? Sugared fruits? Ask her to bring some back' he instructed delightedly. Maria was grinning in her video as she displayed a tray of the delicacies. Showed a closeup of one in each hand. Max chuckled in a dirty manner. Miranda hoped she wasn't going to lick it. She was not a fan of PDA. Or of encouraging Max's imagination. So unprofessional. She typed in the comments box.

'DON'T LICK IT ON CAMERA. OR ELSE.'

Maria replied with a wink. Miranda sighed. She'd refuse sex for a week if that happened. Argue that Maria had had her share of breasts on her holiday and she didn't need hers. That would teach her to be lewd in public.

'Will Instagram ban that as nudity? Free the nipple?' Remarked Max.

'Does Instagram make exceptions for saints? I'm sure if you post a picture of a statue it would not be deleted' enquired Inés.

'Anyone would think she's auditioning for calendar girls' sighed Miranda. The others looked at her. She explained the concept.

'Except that this is for the charity of Miranda's sex life' cheered Max. Inés smirked. It had been a while since she had been a charity case herself.

'Shut up Max.'

Miranda kept her poker face at her girlfriend's antics, typed out the request and waited.

'Hey, I am not perving over the pastries' Max said indignantly.

Two pairs of eyes turned to look at him. He didn't enjoy the synchronised rolling of them. Inés decided to regale them of how St Agatha lost her tits and they winced as they went back to their desk.

'That's the last time I use the word decapitation' shuddered Max. 'For anything.'

'Finally, a word that doesn't exist in German' sniped Miranda, who was fed up with the German habit of smushing words together to make a hybrid of fifteen thousand syllables you could string up on the fishing rod and catch a whale with.

'Be quiet, both of you and hope she brings a box with her' scolded Inés.

'She will' Miranda confirmed. 'That should keep you busy for a few minutes' she said as she scowled at Max.

Maria had many brazen, unsubtle qualities but nobody could accuse her of not being generous and practical, regularly road tripping with cooler bags so she could bring back all sorts of cheeses, meats, beers and in this case, cakes. Miranda knew that treats would be theirs tomorrow.

'If I'd known earlier that putting a nipple in your mouth would shut you up, I would have programmed your girlfriend on speed dial' said Max cheekily.

'Get out' ordered Inés in a flash. 'I am not having this intrusion into private life in here.'

Miranda threw her colleague a withering look while they shuffled out bickering. Their boss wondered how it was that her department functioned at all with these numbskulls on the loose.