Bella:
I'm quite miserable if you think about it. I came to this town of Spoons a week ago to live with my Dad who's an introvert like me and we have an awkward relationship, hence, I really didn't want to come here
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
Bella:
I'm in another miserable mood. Everyone keeps looking at me like I'm an alien or something, well I'm not!
Jessica:
Hey Isabella, I'm Jessica! This is Mike (hands off, he's mine), Eric (you can have him if you want) and Angela
Bella:
My name is Bella, I've no idea who Isabella is, but hey guys
Eric:
What up? You have a date to the prom yet?
Bella:
Yet?! You pillock, it's my first day of school, I haven't even met any handsome suitors!
Eric:
Oh
LATER IN THE FOOD HALL
Jessica:
(Gestures toward a bronze haired, white skinned lad across the other side of the hall)
That's Edward Cullen, just in case you were wondering
Bella:
I wasn't. But now you mention it, wow, what a fittie, although, I can only see one side of his face, he might be like that Phantom dude in the other book, butt ugly on the other side. Is he?
Jessica:
No, he's damn fine on both sides
Bella:
Like I said, I don't really care
LATER IN BIOLOGY
Bella arrives in class, stumbling through the door
Mr Banner:
Welcome, Miss Swan, the only seat available is next to Mr Cullen
Bella: Sarcastically
Oh no, damn it, I'm gonna have to sit next to a boy so beautiful I want to cry
Mr Banner:
Yeah, just sit down
Bella:
(Holds out her hand to Edward) Hey
Edward:
Don't touch me! Hey, though, Bella
Bella:
How did you know—?
Edward:
You're wearing a name tag that reads 'Don't call me Isabella'
Bella:
Oh, yeah. Hey, I noticed you weren't eating in the food hall today
Edward:
Yeah, I'm on a special diet
Bella:
What kind?
Edward:
(Turns to her, darkness on his face) Blood. Haha, not really. But seriously, don't ask me again
As he gets closer to Bella he wrinkles his nose
Edward:
Urgh! Oh no…
Bella:
What?!
Suddenly he stands up and dashes out of the room, faster than light
Bella:
What the fuck?!
LATER BELLA FINDS EDWARD STANDING MOODILY IN THE PARKING LOT. HE SEES HER AND STARTS TO WALK INTO THE FOREST HOPING SHE WILL FALL PREY TO HIS LOOKS AND FOLLOW HIM IN, IT WORKS
Bella:
Edward, wait up! She grabs his arm. It's as cold as ice, but she's willing to sacrifice (herself to this damn fine fittie)
THEY REACH THE HEART OF THE FOREST
Bella:
I know what you are, I did my research during a free period
Edward:
(Turning to face her) So what am I? Say it, out loud. Say it!
Bella:
A ghost
Edward:
Wait, what?!
Bella:
It makes sense, your skin is pale white and ice cold, you never eat or drink anything and you're faster than light when you move
Edward:
You got ghost from that?
Bella:
Oh. It would appear I've been greatly mistaken, I'm sorry
Edward:
Did you say stake?!
Bella: Gasps
You're a Vampire!
Edward:
Shut up, no I'm not! I'm a ghost, a ghost I tell you! You were right the second time!
Bella:
Second time?
Edward:
Yeah, you thought I was the Phantom of the Opera the first time, in the food hall
Bella:
How did you know that?
Edward:
When I went prying through your thoughts… Shit! Fine, I'm a Vampire! Happy now?
Bella:
Not really, are you going to eat me?
Edward:
I don't eat humans, I drink their blood
Bella:
Please don't eat me!
Edward:
I just said..! You're impossible. Bella, I'm not going to eat you, I'm not even going to drain you, appetising as you are to me. I don't do that anymore, I'm clean. I only drink the blood of bears and lions now
Bella:
Oh, ok
THEY GO FOR A WALK THROUGH THE FOREST WITH EDWARD SHOWING OFF HIS VAMPIRE-MAN MUSCLES BY RIPPING TREES APART. EVENTUALLY THEY REACH A BEAUTIFUL MEADOW, FULL OF BLUEBELLS AND SNOWDROPS. THEY LAY DOWN IN THE GRASS UNDER THE SUN. EDWARD BEGINS TO SPARKLE
Bella:
You could have gone easier on the body glitter
Edward:
What? Oh, I'm not wearing body glitter, it's being a Vampire, one of the side effects
Bella:
It's so pretty! Bite me! Bite me!
Edward:
No
LATER IN THE MEADOW
Edward:
You're beautiful, Bella
Bella:
Don't be such a pansy, Ed, you're supposed to be a Vampire
Edward:
Sorry, err… how's this; 'I want to suck your blood'?
Bella:
Better
A FEW WEEKS LATER AT PROM, EDWARD AND BELLA ARE DANCING
Bella:
Go on, bite me please
Edward:
No
Bella:
I'll trick you into it somehow
Edward:
No you won't, I have extraordinary self control, I've been a Vampire for nearly a hundred years
Bella:
Urgh! Gross! Old man!
She walks away
The End