I arrived at Rangeman on Wednesday to keep busy. Not having skips to chase made the past day and a half incredibly dull. I had to do something else when I started cleaning Joe's already clean house. Staying here was going to drive me insane. What was I thinking? Wait! Did I even say yes to Joe? I remember passing out, waking up and Joe announcing that Angie and Mom already planned the wedding. How could I tell Joe that I was already engaged to Ranger?
Speaking of the Devil, I felt Ranger getting closer, yet he caught me off guard and interrupted my thoughts, "Babe, I see smoke."
Pushing back from my desk, I look into his eyes. In this world, it was just us. But nothing was the same as it was. I noticed his eyes displayed affection and love. "I don't know what to do," I muttered.
Ranger lived alone, and I knew he wanted to see that I was well.
If I don't marry Joe, "Where will I live?" I asked.
He brushed a loose curl behind my ear, showing me the hurt in his eyes when I mentioned marrying Joe. I know he won't hate me for rejecting him. "There's an empty apartment on four. It's yours," Ranger replied. "Or you could live with me."
Tears welled in my eyes at his generosity. He gave me options. Since I was marrying Joe on Saturday, living with Ranger wasn't an option despite being exactly what I wanted to do. I shook my head to decline but heard myself saying, "Thank you, I'll take it," when his eyes implored me to accept his offer. I wanted him to hold out the palm of his hand.
Ranger chuckled and bent to kiss my forehead. "Even though you're breaking my heart by marrying Joe, I'll do anything for you, Babe," he whispered.
A few more tears escaped. We know it's not the same as it was. Our relationship would change forever. Would Ranger answer the phone when I called? Losing Ranger would hurt the most. Joe doesn't mind me working at Rangeman, but would that change if we got married? I have too many questions needing answers.
Ranger quickly wipes away the tears before pulling me into his arms. I cried on his shoulder as he carried me to the elevator. It moves up to the seventh floor. When he unlocked and entered his apartment, he went to the couch and sat with me on his lap. He refused to release me. His calloused finger raises my face to look into my eyes. Ranger's lips find mine. "Joe and you are getting married on Saturday," good Stephanie reminded me.
"Let her have one more Ranger-induced orgasm," evil Stephanie replied. I listened to evil Stephanie and decided to have another moment with Ranger.
Burying my Catholic guilt inside Denial Land's graveyard, I gave into Ranger's affection. Thoughts of Joe intruded on the moment once Ranger removed my pants. I should have buried the Catholic guilt deeper in the grave. Cheating on Joe wasn't the way to start a committed relationship. I cried, "Stop, Ranger. I can't cheat on Joe."
Ranger held me as I cried. "Babe, please reconsider. Nobody could ever replace you in my life," he begged. I know he would leave Trenton, and I would be the one to stay.
"I can't. Mom arranged everything. It's too late," I cried. I get dressed and run from Rangeman.
Nobody stops me from leaving. After driving through the gates, I tossed my fob through before it closed. Someone from Rangeman would collect it. Unwilling to go to Joe's house, I drove to Mary Lou's. She would let me crash on the couch in the basement until Saturday, when I had to meet the bridesmaids at my parents' house.
As Daddy drove us to church, I thought about how much Joe had grown over the past few years. He wanted to settle down with me, to have a family. It didn't stop other bits of past conversations from intruding. He once told me that he loved me, but not enough to get married. What changed? Why does he want that now?
Joe also wanted to have children. But do I want any? I was still on the fence. Having kids with Morelli still gave me the hives. Daddy parked behind the church. He opened my door when I didn't move. I smiled when Dad extended a hand. "Thanks, Daddy," I said when he pulled me to my feet. My hair elastic broke when I touched my ponytail. I tugged the elastic free and shoved it into my pocket.
We entered the church, where we found Joe and his mother waiting. Anthony was Joe's best man, and Mary Lou was my matron of honour. It hurt Valerie's feelings, but she had too many children for Albert to manage alone.
Mom helped Mary Lou and me get into position outside the double doors while we waited for the music to cue our ascent up the aisle. She tittered as she roughly tugged my hair into a ponytail, using a ribbon from her purse to secure it. "The elastic broke," I explained.
"You know better to rely on just one elastic to keep this mess contained," Mom snarled. I rolled my eyes. Mary Lou turned to stop herself from laughing. Mom yanked on my ponytail to ensure the ribbon held. "Go!" Mom said when the music started.
Mary Lou walked, danced and twirled down the aisle, making me laugh. I loved that woman. My mom scolded, "Mary Lou, walk properly!"
"Sorry, Mrs. Plum," Mary Lou sweetly replied. I mentally thanked my friend for lightening the mood. Last night, Mary Lou told me to run away with Ranger and leave Joe in the dust. I couldn't do that to him. Joe deserved to be happy. We could make a marriage work, right?
Mom shoved me when Mary Lou reached the end. Dad caught me before I fell flat on my face. He scolded Helen, "Don't be that way." With Daddy guiding me, I closed my eyes as I walked down the aisle. I pretended it was Ranger standing beside the priest.
I went through the motions, though marrying Joe was the last thing I wanted to do. Joe could see I was struggling, but he wanted to marry me and had the priest continue explaining what he expected from us.
We are only getting married by a priest because Dickie had our wedding annulled when I started dating Morelli. He wanted to avoid Bella Morelli cursing him. I heard she went after him and demanded he take care of it, or she would make his balls shrivel like raisins. Dickie was too attached to his balls for Bella to hex them into shrivelling. He failed to tell me when the Catholic Diocese approved the annulment. Thankfully, Dickie hand-delivered the paperwork to our local parish.
In all honesty, the only man I wanted to marry was Ranger. I held onto the hope that Ranger would swoop in to save me from myself at any minute. The Burg would only hold me back. It was not the same as it was. Ranger wouldn't come to rescue me today.
Did I really want this dog and pony show again? It wasn't enjoyable the first time, though this time, Joe was rushing us to get married to start a family before I got too old. I wondered what Joe would think of my gown. It was a simple, curve-flattering design. Mom would no doubt find something wrong with it. With the tight schedule, there wasn't time for me to find one to appease her. I refused to spend more than a dress was worth in last-minute alterations. Besides, the ruffled monstrosity I wore when I married Dickie was heavy and itchy.
After the mock ceremony, we drove to Rosini's for the rehearsal dinner. I was still going through the motions and never noticed when Dad started talking to me. Mom went with Angie so they could organize decorating the church. "Pumpkin, are you okay?" he asked. I shrugged and nodded when I genuinely wanted to shout, "Hell, no!"
Dad knew I was having second thoughts about marrying Joe. He only wanted me to be happy, and marrying an Italian wasn't necessary. Heck, getting married wasn't a requirement.
My phone rang when Dad parked behind Rosini's. It was Valerie. My perfect sister failed to use protection and had more kids than I could count. "I hope you get pregnant right away, then our children will be the same age," Valerie replied after I asked what she wanted.
A few years ago, Valerie moved home with her two oldest daughters when Steve left her for the babysitter. He took all the money, leaving Valerie with enough to take the train to Trenton with the girls.
"I'll see what I can do," I politely said before ending the call.
"Does Morelli know Ranger proposed?" Dad asked, surprising me with the fact that he knew.
I wiped away the tears threatening to escape my eyes and shook my head. "Joe proposed before I could tell him," I confessed.
"You should tell him."
Snorting, I replied, "It's too late, Daddy. Joe and I are getting married tomorrow."
"It's never too late to make things right," Dad advised.
I made it through dinner, eating my meal and two servings of dessert without crying. Mom glared when I accepted Joe's tiramisu. I raised my brows, goading her into saying something. When she opened her mouth to comment, Daddy growled. Helen sat back in her chair. She removed the cloth napkin from her lap and tossed it onto the table with the others.
Instead of going home with Mom and Dad, I rode with Mary Lou since I stayed at her house. I had to promise Mom I would be at the house by ten. Joe held my hand as we walked to Mary Lou's van. He held the door open for me to climb inside. He kissed me chastely before closing the door and tapping the hood for Mary Lou to drive. Joe looked sad as we drove away. Does he understand how much marrying him was killing me inside?
Mary Lou and I had a few drinks before retiring for the night. I wasn't drunk by any stretch of the imagination. Mom would be disappointed if I arrived at the church for my wedding drunk. What would the neighbours think?
I waited until I got to my parents' house before showering. The bathroom mirror got too foggy from the humidity, so I opened the window. I heard two men talking but couldn't make out their conversation. My neck tingled, but I ignored it. Ranger wouldn't be here today of all days. He would have appeared last night if he wanted to stop the wedding.
It took an hour for me to use the straightening iron to loosen my curls. I left it hanging to my shoulders after tucking some locks behind my ear to show my face. I used several bobby pins to secure my hair. The curls would likely escape, but I didn't care.
Before applying my makeup, I went to my bedroom to get dressed. I returned to the bathroom and covered my dress with Dad's robe hanging on the back of the door.
A noise on the roof outside the window grabbed my attention. When nothing appeared at the window, I returned to the task of applying my waterproof mascara. I had decided to wear minimal makeup. Another noise caught my attention. Again, I looked toward the window but didn't see anyone.
I caught something in the corner of my eye. This time, when I checked the window, Ranger was climbing through. "What are you doing?" I hissed.
"Stopping you from making the biggest mistake of your life," Ranger replied. He pulled me into his arms. I felt safe and loved. "Come with me."
"But…what about Joe?" I asked.
"We have to hurry, Babe. I'll explain on the way."
I trusted Ranger like no one else.
Ranger laughed when I tossed the robe aside. I was wearing my wedding dress. "You look perfect."
He helped me climb through the window, passing me to the man on the roof. "Joe?" I gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"Helping you marry your fiancé. I heard you accepted Manoso's proposal," he replied. I suspected there was more to the story.
Joe waited for Ranger to jump to the ground before passing me to him. I stood with a hand on my hip, waiting for an explanation. "Last night, I noticed your eyes were closed as you walked down the aisle. You had tears in your eyes as we went through the mock ceremony. I knew then that you didn't want to marry me. But there's something else you need to know."
I looked into his eyes, but he dropped them to gaze at his shoes. "What did you do?" I demanded.
"I had an affair while I was in Miami," Joe confessed.
"I knew it!" I hissed. We kept our conversation quiet to prevent anyone from overhearing.
Ranger, Joe and I walked through the back fence, where we continued the conversation. "Manoso's men in Miami have pictures of us together," Joe added. I couldn't believe it. The guilt I felt for sleeping with Ranger after his proposal fizzled.
"Why are you telling me now? Did Ranger threaten to tell me?" I demanded.
"No. I couldn't let you marry me and have our marriage hold you down. You need a husband who can help you fly. That man isn't me. When I slept with that woman, I never thought about you. I felt guilty when I returned home and proposed. Stephanie, I do want to marry you, but that isn't what you need. I'm not who you need. That man is Manoso."
"Nothing is the same as it was, is it?"
"Nope," Joe answered. He kissed my forehead and shook Ranger's hand. "Treat her well, or I'll kill you."
Ranger nodded as he removed a wad of cash from his pocket. "Have the reception and party. Maybe you'll find your Babe."
"Thanks, man," Joe said, accepting the money.
Ranger opened the door to his Porsche 911 turbo. After tucking my dress into the car, he ran to his side and jumped in. The tires squealed as he drove away. I looked in the side mirror to catch Joe's salute.
Five years later…
"Mama, look what I found," Ricky yelled. I watched my four-year-old running towards me. Ranger chased after him to ensure he made it without falling.
"What is it?" I asked when Ricky kicked sand onto my feet. He sat on my lap and opened his hand. A perfect shell sat in his dark palm. His blue eyes snapped to mine. "It's beautiful. Where are we putting it?"
"Papi said in the jar," Ricky replied. My handsome son was the perfect blend of Carlos and me. Ricky's eyes were blue, and his hair was curly, though not as tightly curled as mine. He has my tiny nose and his father's jaw, face shape, and cheekbones.
"That sounds perfect." Carlos helped me stand as Ricky held onto my neck.
Today was our fifth anniversary. When we left Trenton, we went to Hawaii and eloped. We stayed in the married couple's resort and enjoyed our two-month honeymoon. However, we never left Hawaii.
Rangeman opened a branch on the island. We have several satellite offices where the men live and manage their area. It was perfect.
When we arrived home, I turned on the radio. The song playing was As It Was by Harry Styles. I carefully listened to the lyrics. It was an appropriate song for us.
I found a video and played it for Carlos. He laughed and pulled me onto his lap. "Ricky, find Tio Tank," Carlos ordered. Ricky took off to find his honorary uncle.
"What?" I asked when Carlos caressed my face and kissed my nose, lips and cheeks.
"In this world, it's just us. You know it's not the same as it was," Carlos replied, repeating a few lyrics.
Joking, I asked, "What would the neighbours think?"
"Who gives a damn?"
"Have you heard from Joe?" I asked. Carlos appointed him the Rangeman Trenton manager after an injury forced his retirement from the precinct. He was married to Leona Bianco, and they have their third child on the way.
"I have. Bella finally died. She tried to curse Leona, who gave it right back," Carlos answered.
I rolled my eyes. "You know Bella died because she was old. Leona had nothing to do with it."
"Does it really matter?"
"No," I admitted.
"Mom," Julie yelled from the kitchen.
I kissed Carlos' lips and checked on his oldest daughter, Julie, who moved in with us after Carlos and I got married. It seemed Rachel only accepted our relationship while we weren't married. Whatever transpired between Julie and Rachel didn't matter. I have my daughter without going through the pregnancy and labour pains. Having Ricky was enough for me.
In Hawaii, nothing got in the way. I didn't have the Burg holding me back. Carlos and I flew Daddy to Hawaii to visit us a few years ago. He had divorced Mom and hasn't returned home. I loved having him here. Most importantly, Ricky loved having his Nonno living close by.