Tobias POV
I was in the kitchen washing the dishes, when I heard a loud slam outside. He heard it too. My father jumped from the table to look out the front window. I look over and see a brief flash of golden hair. It was Beatrice Prior. I've never actually talked to her, but I do notice her when I see her at school, walking around our faction, or helping pass out food and blankets to the factionless. Her hair is more noticeable because it's so beautifully golden but also because she tends to leave it down, long and wavy, ignoring the Abnegation rule about having to pin it up in a bun. She always seems so full of life and energy. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one to notice her.
"Beatrice Prior! Slamming doors, running, and hair down loose! If her father can't teach her to behave, then I will!" my father yelled while opening the front door.
I'm not brave but I know I don't want Beatrice to get hurt. I immediately dropped the plate I was washing. As it smashes to the floor, shattering, it draws his attention to me. He slams the door shut, charging towards me, removing his belt in the process.
"Stupid, clumsy boy! How dare you be so wasteful! So selfish!" he yells in the voice I'm all too familiar with. His Abnegation facade gone; he turns into my own personal monster. He then says the six words I wish I could never hear again, "This is for your own good." He proceeds to whip me with his belt while I try to clean up the mess. At least he's so caught up in the moment that he doesn't demand the removal of my shirt, so it hurts a little less than usual.
Soon I awaken from being passed out on the kitchen floor. I have cuts on my face and hands from falling onto the small pile of glass I'd made before the beating. I don't care, I'm used to pain. At least this time it was worth it. Beatrice wasn't on the receiving end of his belt. I wonder if she'll ever know I saved her, ever know she has a friend in the faction that only allows meaningless small talk. You can't really form friendships when all your conversations barely brush the surface.
When I rise, my father is nowhere to be found. He usually leaves after a beating; I don't know where he goes. I hope it's not where Beatrice ran off to. I finish cleaning up the mess, clean the last remaining dishes, and head upstairs to take a shower and clean my aching back. The hot water helps to ease the pain, although the large red welts still throb. I dress and go to bed but leave my shirt off. I'm used to sleeping on my stomach.
Four years. Four years until I can attend my Choosing Day and get out of this hell hole. I don't know where I'll go but anywhere is better than here with him. I'd never be free. Candor won't be an option, I've been lying for years to hide my father's abuse, and it would come out during their initiation, with the Truth Syrum trial. No, Candor is definitely out. I don't see myself in Amity either. I'm too broken to be kind, even while drugged on their bread. I'm not smart enough for Erudite. I guess that leaves Dauntless. I'm not brave either, but at least I could learn how to stand up for myself. Hopefully I can pass their initiation. Maybe I could find a way to train and build up some muscle.
I lie on my bed thinking about Beatrice. Where did she run off to? She always looks so alive, so ready for an adventure. More than once, I've seen her smiling mischievously. I walk a pretty good distance from her and Caleb sometimes on our way home from school. It's still close enough to hear how much he bosses her around or picks at her behavior. If she remains in Abnegation, she'll probably lose the bounce in her step, her subtly hidden, crooked smile, the things that make her stand out. She'll become just another Abnegation drone.
I know I have a crush on her, but I also know it could never go anywhere. If I ever did man up and talk to her, she'd never want someone like me. I'm broken and definitely don't deserve someone as amazing as Beatrice Prior. She's two years younger than me, but I can still hope that maybe, just maybe, she'll join Dauntless too. Maybe then I'll have had time to fix myself. Maybe then I could be worthy of the fiery, little blonde girl. I know she's probably underestimated by everyone because of her size, but I see her. I see the real her. She could definitely be Dauntless.
I hear the front door open downstairs and pray he doesn't pay my room a visit. Please let him just go to sleep and leave me alone! I pretend to be asleep just in case. It's only 9pm, but it's summer so there's still light outside. I heard him go to his room and begin to snore within the next fifteen minutes. I let out a small sigh of relief.
I go to my window to watch for Beatrice in case she isn't home yet. Her house is right across the street. All the lights are still on, so I'm guessing she may still be gone. About a half hour later, Natalie Prior leaves the house. Maybe she went to find her daughter. She has a very determined look on her face. I'm leaning on my windowsill and must have dozed off. I wake up when I hear quiet voices out on the street. I checked my watch and it's now past midnight. I see Natalie and Beatrice Prior walking home. I do a double take when I realize Beatrice is wearing Dauntless black clothing! They stop and sit on the porch step. Natalie puts her arm around Beatrice' shoulder. She seems to be comforting her.
Witnessing such a moment makes me miss my own mom. When I was younger, she would take me to the meadow to play. I would pick wildflowers for her. She would read me stories from a book called "Fairy Tales". If I fell or got hurt when he wasn't around, she would hug and comfort me. I really miss my mom. Even though she couldn't always protect me from my father, she still made me feel safe and loved. She died from childbirth when I was nine, so it's been three years. I didn't even know she was pregnant. I know he beat my mom before he started beating me and I'd never wish for her to be beaten so I don't have to be. I just really miss having someone who cares for me. It's been three miserable, lonely years. I don't even remember the last time I really talked with anyone. Maybe that's why I entertain myself with thoughts of Beatrice. If I ever get the chance to really talk to her, will it be better than I imagine, or will it be a disappointment? I can't imagine her not being amazing, especially after tonight. I just know she's been out having some kind of amazing adventure. I have a real girl for an imaginary friend. How messed up am I?
They'd been talking for about ten minutes when the door opened, and Andrew Prior stepped out. I can't hear what he said, but Beatrice gets up and wraps her arms around him. The embrace seems intimate, probably because physical contact is frowned upon in Abnegation. He reaches up and wipes a tear from her cheek. I can only see it because the moonlight makes her face glisten. I feel guilty because I'm watching such a private family moment, but also because I feel jealous. Their family had an argument or something and Beatrice ran off, which is definitely frowned upon in Abnegation. She showed up wearing another faction's clothes, yet she's greeted with an embrace by her father, a member of the council. At the same time, I'm happy Beatrice is safe. It's a weird combination of jealousy and protectiveness.
I'm volunteering at the Distribution Center starting tomorrow, which is Saturday. I'll be volunteering for the whole summer vacation. Maybe they'll give me a job that requires a lot of heavy lifting. It's never too early to start getting ready for my transfer to Dauntless. Mrs. Prior asked my father if I could take the volunteer position. She somehow convinced him by saying we could join their family for dinner since I wouldn't be home to prepare the evening meal. I'm still shocked he agreed to it, since he only lets me out of the house for school and to attend church on Sunday. Both are more about his appearance than mine. It's the reason he usually keeps from bruising me anywhere not covered by my Abnegation clothing. I can't bring myself to look forward to the dinners because I'm pretty sure my father will do something to keep me from going.
It's now one in the morning and I have to be up at 6am to make his breakfast and then be at the Distribution Center by 7am. I set my alarm and got back on my bed. My mind replays the events of this evening. Beatrice is on his radar, that's alarming. She ran off somewhere for hours after some kind of conflict at her house. She was gone so long; her mom finally went to find her. Did Mrs. Prior know where her daughter went, or did she really just happen to find her? Where was she all that time? Was she alone? How did she end up wearing Dauntless clothes? I could tell they were too big for her as they were baggy, but then, her clothes are always baggy because she's so tiny. Abnegation doesn't bother about whether or not clothes actually fit, they're just kind of one size fits all.
The idea of Beatrice in black excites me. Maybe she really will transfer to Dauntless. Maybe I really could have a chance at getting to really know her, talk to her, be with her. It awakens something in me. Hope. Hope and determination. I feel awake for the first time in years and determined to improve myself so I can pass Dauntless initiation. Maybe I can find an empty warehouse to practice fighting in. Maybe I could find a book about fighting at the school library. That will have to wait until school starts, of course, but I can still find ways to help grow my muscles, so I'm not so scrawny. There's an old training warehouse close to Dauntless, maybe they left some supplies behind when they abandoned it. They only used it for a short time, probably while fixing up their real training room. I only stumbled across it one day when I didn't want to go home. Some weights would be nice for building up my strength. Good thing my Abnegation clothes will cover any muscle I do develop. I'm finally starting to get tired as my mind wanders through all these thoughts. Training for Dauntless, the mystery that is Beatrice Prior. I'm watching the sliver of moon from my window when a final thought enters my mind for the night. I fall asleep with the image of Beatrice blue gray eyes. Her eyes were stern, so insistent. Beautiful.