Cecil was a rational, careful prince, who made decisions based on a thorough examination of the empirical evidence.
That was why this outing must remain a dead secret.
Cecil sniffed and tried not to retch at the patchouli and juniper stench that hung over this place. Cautiously, he pulled back the dirty velvet curtain and calculated how soon he'd be able to disinfect his hands.
The grimy old woman raised her head from her crystal ball. "Oh, fine young man, cross my palm with silver," she said. "Then Madam Chavatsky will tell you all you wish to know, she will indeed."
Fortune telling was a complete scam, Cecil knew. Hence why he'd come alone. Yet this fortune teller, somehow, had a stunning record of successes according to rumour ... probably just smoke and mirrors ... But he was a desperate man. He laid a single coin into the woman's claws, one he'd especially asked for from one his guards as second hand change. There was no need to reveal his royal status with a freshly minted coin.
"I want to know how I can woo my fiancée and make her love me," he said. The old woman put on a knowing expression.
"Then look into the ball, young man, look into the ball ... I see a dark future awaits you unless you change your ways. Be aware of it, and find out ... "
Prince Cecil examined the silver depths of the ball. At first he only saw filaments and fog, but then suddenly the image sharpened. He blinked. What was so dark and horrible about ink on paper? Then gradually he began to see details. The paper flicked and changed, showing him more and more details. So many horrible, nightmare inducing details -
Is that my leg?! No! It's worse than that! I can't bear this horrible future!
"These drawn images depict you with your attractive butler, your attractive bodyguard, your attractive male childhood friend, your attractive rival foreign prince, and even your attractive brother. You are depicted in a variety of athletically straining positions and often wear minimal attire. Your Highness," the fortune teller added, grinning a grin with missing teeth. "Not only are these drawn images frequently and enthusiastically produced, but I see they are also copied onto woodblock presses, widely distributed, sold at every marketplace, and become extremely popular in your kingdom. Such lèse-majesté lies within your darkest possible future."
Cecil tried to get his breathing and headache under control.
"But what does this have to do with my fiancée Bertia?!" he exploded.
"Oh, well," the fortune teller said, "cross my hands a little bit more, and I'll show you the certain events that lead up to it ... "
Gold. And lots of it. Cecil supplied the necessary without further thought.
He travelled, mercifully, to a place where everyone wore clothing: one of the stone hallways of his school, where two girls bumped into each other. Very literally, in fact; Bertia's adorable clumsiness caused her to collide with that blonde who was always making trouble. Cecil's lovely fiancée apologised breathlessly and helped the girl pick up her schoolbooks, but received a horridly ungracious response.
"Thanks for nothing," the blonde said, glaring at Bertia as if she were her worst enemy in the world. "I know you've been changing the story. Why are you doing this to me?"
Bertia wavered and panicked. "No, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, Heronia! It's just I'm the villainess and I don't want to get a bad ending! But I'm happy for you and Prince Cecil to be together ... I'll be there cheering you on, I promise!"
This was Bertia's usual strain of captivating nonsense that had captured Cecil's heart a long time ago. While he was still hoping to disbelieve in the veracity of this fortune-telling, at least his beloved fiancée was in character.
"He hates me, or haven't you noticed? He loves you. You ruined everything for me!" Heronia shouted.
"I'm sorry! I loved the story so much. This was my favourite otome game before I died and reincarnated here!"
By a very slight amount, Heronia's rage tapered downwards. "It was my favourite game before I died too. That's why I wanted to win Cecil."
"But I want that too!" Bertia said. "I want to see the wedding scene with you and Cecil, it was my favourite! It made me want to be a wedding planner when I grew up."
Heronia's rage had now moved into wistful longing. She stepped closer to Bertia, as if they were now captured by a shared delusion. "I liked the wedding, but my absolute favourite part was where Prince Cecil proclaims his love for the first time. He's so cute!"
"Yes ... Prince Cecil was just the best ... " Bertia gave a similar longing sigh. "We have so much in common! Look, just in case, were you ever a member of the Cecil Maniacs Webforum?"
Cecil groaned. Horrible Heronia actually advanced forward and took both Bertia's hands in her own. How dare anyone touch his precious fiancée!
"Yes, I was, I made over a thousand posts! My user name was CecilYaoi4Eva!" Heronia proclaimed.
Bertia made a noise that would have been absolutely delightful if she hadn't been making it in the direction of a person Cecil loathed. "Squee! My user name was CecilsBride! Your fanart always made my day!"
"I remember you too! Your posts were so sweet, I loved your comments!" Heronia laughed.
"Do you remember that yaoi doujinshi you made, the one with Cecil and his hot butler?" Bertia said, with a beautiful flash of excitement in her eyes. "I never got to see the ending for it after I died, I was so sad about it! Have you done any more drawing in this world?"
"No, I couldn't, paper was expensive here and I was so busy trying to make the game plot happen. It's a pity - I never got to finish the doujinshi because I died!" Heronia said.
"That's really sad! I'm sorry you died," Bertia said.
"No, I'm sorry you died!" Heronia said. Now no trace of her former hostility could be seen at all. "No way, I never thought I'd get reincarnated with another Cecil Maniac! This is actually the best. Cecil fans forever!"
"I've got a brilliant idea!" Bertia gushed. "Let's start the Cecil Maniacs club all over again! I'll buy you lots of paper and ink and be your beta reader, so you can finally finish that yaoi doujinshi. Please, please, please, please, please?!"
"Oh, fine, but only if you write the scripts!"
"Squee!"
The two girls chorused in unison, hugged each other, and jumped up and down in the air together. Then they ran hand in hand to Bertia's bedroom and started discussing which handsome men they should write about Cecil bedding. Countless pages became spattered with ink and Cecil saw the genesis of the horrible future begin. Shivering, he withdrew from the nightmares that would taunt him forever.
It was that night Cecil made a vow. He would never allow Bertia and Heronia to form this alliance. That girl must be exiled at all costs! Then finally, finally, he would win his fiancée to marry him.