Doc ambled into Matt's office looking for the tall lawman. He was thirsty and wanted to invite the Marshal to the Long Branch for a beer. Doc could see that Matt wasn't in his office, but thought he might be in the back. "Matt!" Doc called out. He waited for an answer, but didn't get one. Noticing a copy of the Missouri Republican on the table, Doc sat down, picked it up, and began to read. Doc wasn't sure how long Matt was going to be gone, but he had time to wait.
The sound of jangling spurs and what could be described as whistling was approaching the jail. Festus arrived at the jail and opened the door. He saw Doc sitting at the table deeply engrossed in the newspaper. "Doc." Festus tried to get Doc's attention, but failed. "Doc." He tried again. "Doc!" The third time was the charm.
"What?" Doc asked, annoyed he'd been disrupted by the hillman. "Can't you see I'm reading?" Doc tried to return his attention back to the newspaper.
"Whatcha readin', Doc?" Festus asked, waiting for Doc's response. When Festus did not get a response, he asked again. "Doc, whatcha readin'?"
Doc looked at Festus. Frustration was all over his face. "I'm trying to read this article about a wonky website. Now quit bothering me."
Festus ignored Doc's order. "What's wonky mean?"
This time Doc answered right away. He knew if he didn't, Festus would keep asking. "It means something is unreliable. You know, if you learned to read, you could extend your vocabulary."
"Oh fiddle! What's the point in learnin' ta read?" Festus asked with a shrug of his shoulders. "I'll jest get my information from you." Festus was silent for a brief moment. "What's a website? I ain't never heard of that. I reckon it has something ta do with spiders."
Doc tugged at his ear. "The newspaper doesn't mention anything about spiders."
"Whael, then what's a website?" Festus repeated his question.
"It's a… well, I guess it's a…" Doc stammered. He had no idea what a website was.
"Ya don't know, ya old scudder," Festus pointed out. "Yer a edgeycated, readin' man, 'n you ain't got no clue what a website is."
Doc was about to respond to Festus' remark, but the door opened and Matt walked in. "Doc. Festus," Matt greeted his friends. Matt took his Stetson off and placed it on the hook next to the door.
"Matthew, what's a website?" Festus asked, hoping Matt could give him an answer.
"The article," Matt said as his eyes went to the newspaper. "I read that article more than once, and I still have no idea what a website is." Festus was disappointed he still didn't have an answer. Matt looked at Doc. "What brings you here?"
"I stopped by to see if you wanted to go to the Long Branch and have a beer," Doc answered.
"A beer sounds mighty tasty," Festus replied before Matt had a chance to speak.
"I don't recall asking you," Doc told Festus.
"Doc, there's no point in starting something," Matt said with a shake of his head. "You know he'll end up coming with us. A beer sounds good. Let's go." Matt put his hat back on, and the trio left the jail.
Matt stopped at the batwing doors and surveyed the saloon, looking for Kitty. He smiled when he saw the beautiful redhead standing at the end of the bar. A newspaper sat in front of her. Hearing approaching footsteps, Kitty looked towards the door. She smiled when she saw Matt, Doc, and Festus. Kitty put her lorgnette down and folded the newspaper. "Well, what can I do for you fellas?"
"Kitty, Mizz Kitty, Kitty," all three men greeted with a nod of their heads and a touch of the brims of their hats.
"Three beers," Doc answered as he pulled money out of his pocket to pay for the beers. He looked over at Festus. "Yeah, I'm buying you a beer, but I'm remembering this for the next time we're here."
"Sam, three beers," Kitty told her barkeep. Sam filled three mugs with the frothy liquid and placed them on the bar.
"Thanks, Doc" said Festus. "Hey Mizz Kitty, do ya know what a website is?" Festus was still searching for an answer.
Kitty glanced down at the folded Philadelphia Inquirer. "I just read about a website being all wonky, but I have no idea what a website is. From what I've read, reviews aren't being posted, previous stories that haven't been updated for several months, but were recently updated haven't moved near the top of the list of stories, new stories don't appear to be posting to the website, authors' traffic graph counters aren't moving.. I don't know what a website is. I'm not even sure what those things really are, but I'm guessing that's what's making the website wonky."
Matt pointed to the newspaper. "They must be having problems out east. I reckon this website issue is happenin' all over the place. I wonder if Chester knows anything about this so-called website."
Philadelphia
In a row home he shared with his wife, Mrs. Ann Goode, formerly Ann Smithwright, Chester sat in the parlor reading a copy of the Dodge City Gazette. He liked to keep up on what was happening in the town where his close friends lived. An article about a wonky website caught his attention. He decided to read it. When Chester finished reading the article, he discovered it was similar to the article he read in the local papers. He wondered if the website problem in Dodge City was something that Mr. Dillon was handling.
"Oh forevermore," Chester sighed. "I shore do hope this website thang gets fixed soon." He put the newspaper on the coffee table and shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever a website is."
The End