* Peace Offering *

I wake up to the noise of a shovel

"Your back," I say.

"Dr. Aurelius wouldn't let me leave the capitol," Peeta says,"by the way, he said he can't keep pretending he's treating you forever. You have to pick up the phone."

He looks well. Thin and covered with burn scars like me, but his eyes have lost the clouded torture look.

"What are you doing?"

"I went to the woods this morning and dug up these. For her,"he says. "I thought we could plant them along the side of the house."

I look at the bushes,the clods of dirt hanging from their roots and I catch my breath as the word rose registers. I'm about to yell vicious things at Peeta, when the full name comes to me. Not plain rose, but evening primrose. I give Peeta a nod of assent and hurry back into the house...

Hours pass since our encounter, my mind races as I think of how to approach him while also telling myself I shouldn't. Each day alone is another reminder that my sister is gone. If she were here she'd be playing with her cat or reading a book. I can almost hear the sound of her laugh if I close my eyes. My heart pangs with sorrow. A knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts. I rush to the door and swing It open. To my surprise there is not a person but yet a tin box with a note attached. The box has Mellark Bakery engraved in It. I look up just in time to catch him walking across the yards. I don't even think about it when I yell out for him to wait. He stops and turns around slowly. I read the note while he approaches.

Dear Katniss,

I'm sorry about upsetting you. I should've been more understanding of your feelings. I've been baking a lot so I made you some cookies. I'm sorry for everything.

-Peeta

When I look up,he is standing on the steps to my porch. "I just wanted to say thank you for the cookies."

He stares at me with a stiff face at first but then a hint of a smile crosses his lips. "Of course. I figured you could use something sweet. I really am sorry about upsetting you- It wasn't my intention. But really, how are you? And no I'm fine crap, Katniss if we can't be honest with each other how can we be friends?"

"You consider us friends?" I ask sheepishly, I feel my cheeks burn.

"I would like to be. Maybe we aren't yet, but we once were...I think." His brow furrows as he tries to sort through his thoughts.

"We were. You were the greatest friend anyone could ask for, and I took that for granted."

"I wish I could remember... it's all just so jumbled. Ironic, huh? I didn't want to change or be a piece in their games and yet I can't even remember most of who I used to be,"he sighs.

I stare into his blue eyes and furrowed brow, his nostrils flare a little when he's deep in thought, "I'll help you sort It out." I almost whisper.

He gives me a small nod. "I guess I should get going, but enjoy those cookies."

"Thank you, Peeta, really it's very sweet. The Primrose, I love It. And I know she would've loved It as well. It means a lot, really."

A week passes without seeing him, but then there's a knock on my door again. When I answer it, it's not just a tin of cookies, but Peeta stands there with a loaf of bread.

"Hi," I say softly.

"Is it okay if I come in?" He asks.

"Of course," I say and side step so he can come in. He sets the loaf down in the kitchen then says, "I wanted to talk to you."

I sit down waiting patiently for what he has to say. He sits across from me at the table and says,"I have been talking to Dr. Aurelius, and we were able to sort out my thoughts more. He said that I should talk to you because you have the answers to my confusion...but that's not all I came to do...the silence now is deafening, I have no family or friends and I miss you. I know we talked about how we used to be friends but I want to start genuinely working on It. Rebuilding my memories of you. Relearning who you are, Katniss. I know I have a lot of work to do, and if you don't trust me I understand. I wouldn't trust me either after what I did to you. I want to try to start again, if you'll give me that chance."

"Peeta...I miss you too. I miss the way things use to be between us,"I say. It's weird admitting my feelings. But he smiles. With that I realize that I don't have to be alone anymore. Neither of us do.

"Is it okay if you help me? I have some questions."

"Absolutely," I tell him.

"You saved me in the arena, real or not real?"

"Real."

"You risked your life to get the medicine that would save me, real or not real?"

"Real."

"You cut off my leg, real or not real?" He winces at the false memory.

"Not real Peeta, the mutt bit your leg and you bled. I wanted to wrap a tirnequet but I needed my arrow to kill Cato." I can see his face twist in frustration, I'm not sure if it's over me or the thought but either way he's bothered. "Peeta?" He shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. I see his jaw clench when he hears my voice.

"Okay, that one seemed kinda shiny. The memories they altered- they have this shiny quality, like a dream. But some are easier than others." He's quiet for a moment and I feel ice in my veins as he asks the next question, "You never loved me real or not real?"

How do I answer this if I'm not even sure myself? I've dreaded this for a while. I know I didn't treat him well in the past. He loved me and treated me far better than I deserved and yet I couldn't decide whether or not I loved him- still can't!

"Not at first but, well it complicated..."

"Real or not real!" he says more forcefully.

"Not real, I was just too late,"I say.

His face changes but I can't make out what he's thinking. He nods to himself silently. Eventually he changes the subject.

"District 12 seems to be rebuilding itself, I'm going to start helping with the relief anyway I can. Are you interested?"

"Yeah, after all I- uh yeah absolutely." I stop myself before I go too far into my guilt. But Peeta reads me better than that.

"What is It?"

"I'm the reason they don't have homes. The reason they have nothing... I want to make It right but I don't know how. I remember my conversation with snow vividly when he warned me of the bombing."

It's best if we agree not to lie to each other

His words ring in my ears. He warned me that day that if I didn't follow as I should that he would burn 12 down to rubble.

"Stop- you didn't ruin their lives you gave them a new one, and yes houses burned and things were lost but you know what? You gave them much more than they ever had- you gave them hope. You gave them a chance to live their lives not in fear." He says grabbing my wrists. For a second he holds my gaze intensely and I actually believe him for a moment.

*

That night my nightmares are about the first games. I often have nightmares but it's been a while since I had them about the first games, as of lately they've been about Prim and the war. Children being bombed, sometimes I see my dad and sister standing together before the explosions go off. I know I will have to be faced with these memories to help Peeta. And I will help him, that I'm determined to make happen.