AN: This story will have a couple of pieces, coming soon, of course! It can be read alone, but it's best following "Preservation of Memory" at this time.
I own nothing from Murder, She Wrote.
I hope you enjoy! If you do, please do let me know!
111
Jessica took her time wandering around the store, selecting carefully the produce that she wanted for lunch. Even though it hadn't been that long since breakfast, her stomach growled at the colorful sight of all the fruits and vegetables, and she thought she might sneak in a little snack while she prepared lunch for when Seth came home to eat.
She had a craving. That's what Seth would call it, with that somewhat mischievous smile that she wasn't even sure that he knew that he was wearing. He always smiled at her like that when he brought the baby up, and he hardly missed an opportunity to bring the baby up, when he could.
"The baby has you in a mood, Jess."
"The baby has you out of sorts, Jess."
"The baby made you forget that, Jess."
"It's the baby's fault you lost your glasses, Jess."
"It's the baby that's got you yawning like that at this hour, Jess."
"It's a craving, Jess. The baby knows what it wants."
The number of things that Seth could attribute to the baby that he suspected was no bigger than a lemon was truly remarkable. Of course, Jessica didn't mind at all. Every time he mentioned the baby—and, especially, if he gave their baby attributes of a personality—Jessica's heart felt like it fluttered in her chest. The thought of their baby growing and becoming its own little person could make her very nearly lightheaded in the most magical way possible. She practically ached to spend hours talking about it—not that there was really that much to say about a baby that, for all they could see and feel, existed mostly in their imaginations—and Seth seemed perfectly content to indulge her in that, always finding ways to bring the little thing up when it had been left undiscussed for too long.
The baby, this morning, wanted all things fresh, and bright, and crunchy. Jessica had a desire—a craving, as Seth called it—to bite and chew crunchy things and, in particular, vegetables and fruits. The need would have been difficult to explain to most people, but Seth hadn't required an explanation beyond her simple statement that she desperately wanted a good selection of produce.
"The baby knows what it needs, Jess," Seth had said, kissing her outside of his practice. "Don't deny her, especially when it comes to fruits and vegetables."
"You're sure that you don't want something different for lunch?" Jessica asked.
"She'll pick out something good for her old man," Seth teased. He'd kissed Jessica again, entirely uncaring who saw them or what they might have to say about shows of public affection, and he'd somewhat discreetly brought his hand to rest a moment on her stomach, rubbing his fingers gently there. It was the simplest of gestures, but Jessica always felt like she might absolutely drown with affection for Seth when he did it, and she half-suspected that was one reason that he did it with some regularity.
"I'll make chicken salad with the leftover chicken from last night," Jessica said. "That ought to go well with the crudité. What do you think, Seth?"
"Sounds alright to me, Woman," Seth said.
"Maybe I'll get some bread," Jessica offered. "One of the crusty baguettes?"
"A-yuh," Seth agreed. "There's not much that can't be improved upon by a good loaf of bread."
"What about a fruit salad?" Jessica asked.
Seth laughed at her.
"I think you and the baby ate two cans of pineapple last night," Seth said. "A fruit salad might not be a bad idea."
Jessica felt her face grow warm.
"It wasn't quite two cans," she said. "I did put some of it in the fridge for today."
"Well, then, it'll be all ready for the fruit salad," Seth said. "Get what you want at the store, Jess. Get what the baby wants. Whatever you two choose, it'll suit me just fine. You're sure you don't want me to drop you directly at the store?"
"It's a beautiful day, Seth," Jessica said. "I'd like the exercise and the fresh air. I might walk home, too."
"That's a bit of a walk, Jess, especially carrying a bag," Seth said. "I don't want you to overdo it."
"If I feel like it's too much, I'll call for a ride. I promise."
They'd exchanged kisses once more, and Jessica had headed off to make her selections. She'd taken her time on the walk, enjoying the exercise and the fresh air as much as she'd predicted she would, and now she was enjoying taking her time and carefully selecting each item for lunch.
She stopped a moment, turning an orange over in her hand. She smiled at the little piece of fruit. With each new week, she made Seth predict the size of their baby. He always showed her with his hands—creating an illustration of what he suspected. The orange, in her hand, looked very much like his latest prediction. She felt her heart catch at the thought that, right now, their baby might actually be this size, curled up and, perhaps, sleeping, while Jessica chose items that Seth would say it had requested for lunch.
She dropped the orange in her basket just because she couldn't seem to leave it behind, now. She would surprise Seth with the fruit, if nothing else, as a joke.
Tomorrow, Jessica would officially count herself as being in her second trimester—the start of her fourteenth week of pregnancy. In two days, she was scheduled to be in Augusta with Seth for an appointment. She was both excited to have made it to this point, and positively ill—if she thought of things too much—because she had lost her first baby at fourteen weeks, and she'd lost her second at only sixteen weeks.
She was trying not to think about it too much, though, for the good of the baby—if only her mind were more willing to cooperate.
For the time being, she was finding it easier to keep her negative thoughts at bay by purposefully focusing on the positive ones—like what kind of healthy and delicious lunch she would prepare for her entire family—and she was allowing herself to practically mediate on happy words like "family" as she did so.
"Jessica?"
Jessica jumped. She'd gotten so absorbed in her own thoughts, that she'd almost lost herself entirely. She turned, forcing a smile even as she realized who was speaking to her.
"Marjorie," she said, refreshing her smile.
"Jessica!" Marjorie said with a big smile—perhaps a little too big to be wholly believable—and a bit more enthusiasm than was necessary for bumping into each other over produce.
Of course, Marjorie Nash had always been a little larger than life. Most of it, Jessica suspected, was put on. Jessica couldn't say the two of them had ever been close friends in any way, but she'd known Marjorie for a very long time, and Marjorie had always been the same.
"How have you been?" Jessica asked, doing her best to keep up with Marjorie's enthusiasm, but not ever really finding it within herself to put on the same kind of performance that some of the women she knew favored.
"Well," Marjorie said. "You know, I've been visiting my daughter in Georgia."
"I didn't know that," Jessica said.
"Oh—she has such a beautiful place," Marjorie said. "You know—one of those beautiful houses surrounded by trees just weeping with Spanish moss. It's like something right out of a novel. In fact, I bet she'd be willing to let you use her home as the setting for one of your novels, if you're interested. Oh—I could let her know you'd like to visit sometime."
Jessica only let what she considered an appropriate amount of laughter escape her.
"I appreciate the offer," she said. "Perhaps, sometime. I'm rather busy at the moment."
"Of course, you are," Marjorie said. "What with being a new bride and all."
Jessica renewed her smile. Marjorie was a widow, herself. Her husband had passed about a year after Frank, and she'd been practically on a husband hunt since the funeral. It had been no secret to Jessica—or to all of Cabot Cove, for that matter—that Marjorie had set her sites pretty firmly on Seth. She wasn't the only woman in town to be a bit sore that Jessica had married him, but she was certainly one that Jessica knew, through the proverbial grapevine, had some rather strong feelings on their marriage.
"Yes," Jessica said. "Though not so new anymore. Seth and I have been keeping rather busy. I'm just here buying some things for lunch, now. He'll be home to eat in between patients."
Marjorie made no move to hide her scrutiny of Jessica's basket of produce.
"Well—oh, dear," she said. "I'm certain that Seth promotes healthy fare, being such a dedicated…and wonderful…physician, but a man does need more to eat than just salad, Jessica. Please tell me you're feeding him better than that."
Jessica felt a bit of a prick from Marjorie's comment and tone.
"I assure you, Marjorie," she said, trying to remain upbeat and cheerful, "Seth is eating well."
"Of course, he is," Marjorie said. "Of course." She looked around as though she were checking their surroundings for the presence of someone. She did so with so much intent that Jessica found herself looking for someone, too, though she had no idea who might be there. The store wasn't empty, at all, but it wasn't overly packed at this hour. Marjorie leaned toward Jessica like she was about to share a secret. Jessica leaned toward her, happy to receive it. "You know, Jessica—there's a…well, there's a rumor going around…"
"Oh?" Jessica asked.
"I'm not one to gossip…" Marjorie said.
"Oh, no—of course, not," Jessica said, trying to sound as sincere as she possibly could. Marjorie was truly one to lead gossip, but that didn't match with the image that she had of herself.
"And I wouldn't say anything, except, well…you're probably going to be quite shocked, since it's a bit ridiculous, but…I thought you might like to know what's going around. They're saying…you're pregnant."
Jessica laughed.
She might have been offended, if she'd thought too much about it, that Marjorie found it absolutely ridiculous, but she didn't think too much about it. After all, she and Seth had somewhat doubted the possibility of her getting pregnant, themselves. Still, it had been important to both of them to at least try for this baby, and they'd sought the best help that they could in both helping Jessica to get pregnant and in ensuring that they had the best chance possible for this pregnancy to be carried out successfully.
Jessica couldn't be too offended if people were surprised by the fact that they'd been successful, so far, on their second attempt—even if nobody knew it was their second attempt.
"It's no rumor, Marjorie," Jessica said. "We're telling everyone ourselves."
Marjorie held onto Jessica's arm in an affectionate manner that would have told any passerby that they were much closer than they really were. She jumped back, slightly, as though she'd been burned. Her eyebrows shot up.
"You mean—it's true?" She asked.
Jessica's smile was sincere this time, though even thinking of their little one—and sharing it with the people around her—made Jessica's eyes prickle and her throat ache. They were tears of happiness, but she'd found that whether happy, sad, afraid, or experiencing any other emotion, she seemed ready to burst into tears at the drop of a hat these days.
"It's true," she said. "We're almost through the first trimester."
It felt wonderful to say that. Marjorie's expression gave Jessica the impression that she might not fully agree. Jessica was accustomed to that, too.
"Seth and I both agreed that we wanted to try for a family," Jessica said, volunteering the information that the pregnancy was planned, since most people seemed concerned about the thought that such an accident might befall them at any given moment.
"Well, that's—wonderful!" Marjorie said. Jessica smiled, acknowledging that there was at least some effort to sound upbeat and positive.
"Thank you," she said. "We're very happy."
"Of course, you are!" Marjorie said, obviously still a touch stunned. "Why—Jessica—you must be feeling wonderful—and so terrible!" She laughed. "Oh—I remember when I was…in that condition. I could hardly stand to get out of bed. And I could hardly keep a bite down for nearly five months!"
Jessica found that she felt a little warmed by the fact that Marjorie was sharing some of her experiences. The truth of the matter was that Jessica hadn't found anyone, yet, who either had a story to share or felt compelled to share it. The few people that remembered that Jessica had once been pregnant before—since she and Frank had shared news of their second shortly before its loss—seemed reluctant to say too much. The ones who didn't know, or didn't remember, also seemed not to have much to say, really, beyond the initial congratulations. Suddenly, being told something from Marjorie's pregnancy made Jessica feel a bit more like it was real and she was part of something.
She felt her face burn a bit warm, but in a truly pleasant way.
"I've been a little tired," she said. "But—nothing too dramatic. I've been a touch emotional, but Seth has been wonderful."
"I'm sure he has," Marjorie said.
Jessica felt a little prick of jealousy—which she knew, of course, was entirely uncalled for—and pushed it out of her mind.
"I haven't been sick at all, though."
Marjorie looked every bit as surprised as she had when Jessica had told her that she was pregnant.
"Not at all?" She asked.
"No," Jessica said. "Not really. I've been able to eat anything I've wanted…though…" She laughed. "I've seemed to certainly have some strong opinions on what I want."
Marjorie laughed, but she looked distracted—concerned, even.
"Well—but, of course, you've been sick," Marjorie insisted. She leaned toward Jessica and dropped her volume, again, like they were sharing the most serious secrets possible, right next to the bananas. "Morning sickness, and all…though I don't know why they call it that. It's so easy to become…indisposed…at any moment. Quite unpredictable."
Jessica's stomach felt a touch uncomfortable in response to Marjorie's tone, but that was unrelated to her insistence that Jessica must feel unwell.
"No," she said. "I—haven't been sick, Marjorie."
"Don't be silly, Jessica," Marjorie said. "You don't have to embarrassed. Really—we hardly talk about it, but it's something every woman experiences if she's to become a mother."
Jessica forced a smile and as much laughter as she could.
"It must be," she said. She squeezed Marjorie's arm back, mostly to get the woman to release her arm, in turn. "It's been so good to see you, Marjorie. Really. We should…catch up sometime."
"I can tell you about my daughter's house," Marjorie said. "In case you want to use it in one of your books."
"I look forward to it," Jessica said, not really meaning that at all. "But—I really must be going. I've got…so many things that I need to do."
"Do you have a ride?" Marjorie asked.
Jessica felt a tightening in her stomach. She knew what would come next—an offer to drive her home. Jessica didn't want to be in the car with Marjorie right now. She didn't really want to be in the car with anyone.
"I really need the exercise," she said. "And the fresh air."
"Fresh air is always good for settling the stomach," Marjorie said, nodding knowingly.
Jessica hummed.
"And the nerves," she said more to herself than to Marjorie, as she moved toward the front of the store to check out, hoping she had everything she needed for at least the nice lunch that she's promised Seth.