Tyra walked towards the Golden Gate silently, Inanni following close behind.
"So why do you need my help?" The Goddess of Love asked again.
"I told you, the dead members of Fairy Tail are asking too many questions and being difficult." she replied, "I need your help placating them."
"What are they asking about?"
"Questions they should not know the answers too." Inanni did not question her further, so they walked on quietly.
As they descended down the pearly marble stairs of the Parthenon that contained the throne room, the two Goddess' walked down a silvery cobbled pathway. Endless fields of golden grass spread out in every direction, as far as the eye could see. The Parthenon and the surrounding pathway was an island of civilization amidst the grass, with one of the branching paths leading towards a circular gateway. This gateway was a portal of sorts, made of the same marble and gold as everything else by the Parthenon. Reaching the gateway, Tyra raised a hand towards it and swiped, the portal igniting and connecting to her desired location in the endless afterlife.
"Let's go," she said to Inanni. The two of them stepped through the portal, and were immediately transported across endless space.
To the Fairy Tail guild hall.
The guild hall that spread out before them was an ancient build, one from decades prior. It's make was similar to the one Gajeel Redfox destroyed in the war he'd had with the guild, but bigger and made of the same marble as the Parthenon. The guild hall served the same purpose as the Parthenon did, acting as an island for souls to congregate together as oppose to living in the endless fields. Millions upon millions of these islands existed in the endless expanse of the Heavens, and this was where souls from Fairy Tail congregated.
As they walked towards the double doors, Tyra paused and looked towards her sister.
"Before we go in there, do not answer any questions you can't," she said. "Nothing only a God should know."
"They're asking about Damien's soul, aren't they?" Inanni asked.
Tyra narrowed her eyes at her sister, who glared right back.
"Don't tell them anything," she said. "That's only Annetha's theory."
"I think they deserve to know about it."
"Why? Knowing would do nothing but dash their hopes against the rocks. Know this, sister; Damien Dreyar's soul was destroyed when he was killed. There is no recovering him."
"And if Annetha is correct?" Inanni demanded. Tyra grimaced and turned to the doors.
"Then I will shoulder the burden of concealing it on myself," she replied. With this, she opened the doors.
The inside of the hall looked exactly as it would have thirty or so years prior in the real world. Wooden tables spread out across a ground floor, various souls sitting at them and talking. The second floor was also full of people, obviously no longer off limits to anyone not an S-Class wizard.
As the two Goddess' entered, the souls inside went silent and looked at them. Most bowed their heads in silent reverence, but others had already learned the God's and Goddess' were indifferent to such shows of respect. There was one person in particular they were looking for, and she could see him at the bar.
The man in question was tiny and old, but in no way frail. Some might question why he choose to often appear old, but Tyra did not care for his reasons. The man was staring at her quietly, having already argued with her before she'd gathered Inanni.
"Makarov," she greeted, walking up to the old man. "Still not accepting my request?"
Makarov Dreyar stared her down as if she wasn't a Goddess of War, defiance in his eyes.
"I won't put my children on the front lines of your war without my questions being answered," he said. "I think that is more than fair."
"And I would agree, Makarov!" Inanni exclaimed, taking charge of the conversation. "Please do not take offense to Tyra's attitude. As the Goddess of War, she is often stuck in a purely logistic, tactical mindset. She struggles to relate to humans as such."
Tyra decided to ignore that jab at her, no matter how untrue it was.
"But where are my manners?" Inanni asked, bowing her head slightly. "This is your home, after all. I am Inanni, Goddess of Love and Beauty. Tyra asked me to reason with you on her behalf."
"No need to bow your head to me, Goddess," Makarov replied. "I just want my answers."
"Mm, perhaps we should take this conversation to your office," Inanni said. "So many ears out here who could hear something they should not know." Tyra cast her sister a warning glance, but Inanni simply winked back at her. Makarov sighed but nodded, jumping off the counter and walking to the office with them close behind.
The office was obviously nothing special, just a room away from listening ears and prying eyes. Tyra closed the door behind herself and watched Inanni go to sit in the open chair, Makarov standing opposite her behind the desk.
"Where's your Father, Makarov?" Inanni asked, "I didn't see him out there."
"He's gone to other Haven's to visit friends," Makarov replied. Haven's was the correct term to use when referring to the structures or villages hidden in the grass, all ranging from either a single building to full cities. "Now, I had three questions I wanted answered. Will you answer me?"
"As best I am allowed," Inanni replied.
"Apologies but, if what Tyra said to me is correct, you need all the angels you can get." Tyra was glared at by her sister for this, but she simply shrugged.
"Well, what consumes your mind then?" The Goddess asked. Makarov took a deep breath at this, seemingly contemplating his questions.
"I want to know the status of my children still living," he said. "Where are Laxus and the others? Are they okay?"
"You seriously couldn't answer that?" Inanni demanded towards Tyra. "Makarov darling, your Grandson and the the others are okay. They're aboard Crime Sociere's airship currently, and they're circling the outside edge of Minstrel. All alive and well."
"Not all."
If Tyra was not a divine being, the following silence could have been perceived as tense.
"Well yes, not all of your children escaped the guild hall when Zomrus' wraiths rose up around them. But all who died have joined you here, no?" Makarov seemed saddened by this.
"Yes," he said, "which leads me into my next question. Will this war destroy their eternal soul? Can they die again?" Inanni paused at this, seemingly thinking.
"They can, yes," she finally said. "I cannot in good faith tell you things will be fine. There is a good chance some people's eternal souls are destroyed in the upcoming war."
"So not even in Heaven can they find peace," Makarov said wistfully. "Perhaps this is not as much of a heaven as it looks."
"It is preferable to the alternatives," Inanni replied. "One of which is fast approaching. One we must guard against, lest it consume this place of eternal peace."
"Eternal," Makarov mused, "apparently not. Fine, answer me my last question, and I will see about having my children on the front lines."
"Ask it."
"What became of my Great-Grandson's soul? Is he in Hell? Is he lost somewhere in the material world?"
Inanni looked back at Tyra, who simply glared back at her. The two exchanged glares for a few seconds before Inanni looked back at Makarov.
"You must have guessed by my sisters refusal to answer that it is complicated," she said. "By all logic yes, he should be here. Had he died a normal death, anyway. However, Damien Dreyar did not die a normal death. Xisplate's soul, and his own by proxy, was forcibly ripped from his body."
"So why has he not come here?" Inanni was silent for a moment before she sighed.
"Damien Dreyar and Xisplate's souls were sewn together," she said. "From the moment he was born, Damien's soul had been in symbiosis with part of Xisplate's. When Xisplate was...removed from his soul, Damien Dreyar could not maintain the structure of his soul any longer." Tyra's eyes narrowed as she realized her sister's crafty wording.
"What does that mean?" Makarov asked weakly.
"It means," Tyra said, "that in all likelihood, Damien's soul collapsed in on itself and returned to ether."
It was not the whole truth, nor a whole lie. And it certainly was not Annetha's theory. As it stood, the whereabouts of the souls belonging to the Demon Lord takeover wizards was unknown even to them. This news seemed to age Makarov somehow, who put a hand over his eyes.
"Oh Laxus," he whispered to himself, "Mira, I am so sorry..."
"Damien will not be the last soul who returns to the Ether at this rate," Inanni said. "If Zomrus is able to pierce the Gates and enter Heaven, countless souls will be lost. We need every powerful wizard of every age on the front lines to stop him. If we don't, he will take Heaven for himself and destroy countless souls in the process."
Makarov was silent for a long time. Tyra waited patiently, as did Inanni. Finally, he sighed and slumped his shoulders.
"I understand," he said. "Thank you, Inanni, for answering me. I will see what I can do about gathering my strongest allies. We will be there, do not worry."
"Thank you, Makarov," Inanni replied. The Goddess of Love stood to leave, and Tyra prepared to follow her out.
"Wait," Makarov said. "One last question."
"Yes?" Inanni asked. Makarov looked troubled, his fists clenched.
"Where is my own son?" He asked. "Where is Ivan?"
Silence fell over the three of them again. Inanni looked over her shoulder at him.
"Do you really want the answer to that, Makarov?" She asked sympathetically, "or do you already know it in your soul?"
Tyra knew where he was, and it was not in Heaven. Makarov swallowed hard and nodded, turning away from them.
"Thank you for telling me," he said. Inanni nodded, and together the two Goddess' took their leave and left. Exiting the guild hall, the two returned their existence to the Parthenon, and Inanni turned to her.
"That was it?" She asked, "He just wanted those four questions answered?"
"You know as well as I it was the one question in particular that I struggled with." Inanni frowned.
"I don't like lying," she said, "such an ugly sin."
"As far as I'm concerned, we did not lie," Tyra replied. "We don't know where their souls are. But we both know they are gone."
"Perhaps, dear sister," Inanni conceded. "What will you do now?"
"I must speak with August about the souls from Alvarez who listen to him. I'll need them as well. After that, I was planning on visiting Igneel and the dragons Haven."
"I don't imagine you'll need to beg and plead for their help," she replied. Tyra smiled thinly.
"I hope not," she said. "We need every soul we can get to defend the Gates."
Apate was certain she had never seen these shores before, and yet for some reason her stomach was doing a full dance routine.
She stared out at the crashing waves before her, the Northern ocean battering the coastline as a gray sky stared down lifelessly. The environment did not dissuade her excitement, however.
"Your mother and father live"
Zomrus' words rang in her ears like an alarm, deafening her to the point of insanity. It was something she had not even considered. Of course the cult she was born in was still alive. Of course they were still out there. And of course, Zomrus wanted them back. So he had tasked her with doing so.
She looked down at the crashing waves as the God's instruction came back to her. The cult was hidden, or so she had been told. She would need to give a signal to be allowed inside. Once she was able to give that signal, they would know who she was. Maybe seeing all of this would help her make up her mind.
Now or never.
Taking a deep breath, Apate raised her hand and created a sigil of magic in her palm. The sigil was Zomrus' symbol, a skull with lines flowing from it's mouth that encircled the skull and framed it with regal wings She knelt down and pressed the sigil into the earth, where it was absorbed and disappeared. She waited, breath hitched, using every sense she had to see if anything was changing.
It did not take long.
Before she could stand straight up, the ground started to rumble around her. As she stabilized herself, the earth opened up before her, a gaping maw that revealed a dimly lit stairwell leading towards the water. A stale scent wafted up from the stairwell, which made her frown in disgust. She really hoped that the smell went away. Steeling herself, she stepped into the stairway and began to descend. Once she was low enough, the ground closed up and sealed her inside, The light growing slightly to accommodate the lack of sun. The stairs seemingly had no end, but she would need to walk to find out.
As she walked down the stairs, Apate's mind raced to figure out what it was she was doing to do. What she had to say. Zomrus had made it all sound so simple the day before. Go to the cult, tell them they had succeeded, bring them to the capital. But what would they think of her? What would they want?
What would her parents think about Jason's betrayal?
Thinking about her brother caused an old, malformed memory to attack her. In it, she saw her brother standing opposite her. They were both in some netherworld-esque prison, which she could only assume was Tartarus. He looked so horrified and scared, but she could remember not caring. About him, or herself, or anything. Just as soon as she saw it the memory left her, making her growl in annoyance. How was it that not even Godhood could restore a damaged mind? What had they done to her in Tartarus to cause this?
Apate could not lie and say that didn't anger her. She hadn't deserved that imprisonment. Why had it been so severe? Why not just kill her? Wouldn't that have been easier? Deep down she knew why, though. Twelve Disciples were needed. One gone was of no consequence, but it would have been stupid to just let it happen anyway. They clearly kept her as insurance.
Which was good, seeing as Jason had betrayed them anyway.
She shook her head to clear it as she glimpsed the bottom of the stairs. She had to be focused on her task, and right now it was. Once she reached the bottom of the stairwell, a gigantic steel door stood before her. The door looked ancient and well worn, but when she got a closer look she could tell it was sealed up tightly. At the top of the doorframe glaring down at her was the same symbol as the sigil she had used to open the stairway, a skull with wings. Once she looked up at it, a chill went down her spine.
"Who is it that approaches the door to truth and understanding?" A voice asked, echoing harshly against the walls around her. At first Apate felt terrified, but an answer jumped forth from the depths of her mind.
"One who has seen reality and desires a utopia," she answered. A code phrase, dormant somewhere in her childhood memories. She had been taught it at some point, but could not recall when. As her words reached the skull, it's eyes glowed and the door began to groan. She watched as it opened agonizingly slowly, wondering what it was she would see on the other side.
She had not expected to be greeted by one single person, a young man, standing nearby looked horrified.
When she stepped closer and got a better look at him, she saw him to be a man of barely twenty, with black hair and eyes. His skin was extremely pale, obviously from spending his entire life underground. His clothes were a simple dark robe with a rope belt, and he carried a spear made of dark stone in his hand. He looked positively mortified that she was there, or that the door had opened at all.
"W-Who goes there?" He asked, accent sounding ancient yet so familiar. "H-How did you gain access to these hollowed grounds?"
"I'm Apate," she replied, frowning at how the name tasted on her lips. "I'm a Disciple of Zomrus. You are?" What she said seemed to have surprised him, his eyes wide.
"...I-I'm Markus," he said weakly. "Y-You said Apate?...A Disciple?" Apate smiled softly at him.
"I assume you've been told something like this would happen," she said, Markus nodding vigorously. "Well, I come bearing good news. The world as it was is gone, the news you heard Months ago was not prophecy, but reality. Zomrus has taken control of Earthland and rules as it should be."
She hated how the words sounded.
Markus stared at her in awe, seemingly too stunned to speak. Before she could offer any help, however, he rushed towards a nearby wooden desk and picked up what looked like the receiver to a magical device.
"Father!" He shouted, "I-It's happened! One of the Twelve has come to take us to the promised land!" Apate watched in bemusedly as Markus relayed her message excitedly, faintly hearing someone shouting in reply from the other end. He seemed to listen closely to what was said before agreeing and placing the receiver down again.
"I'm assuming you were expecting me," she said as Markus rushed back to her and knelt down on one knee.
"Of course, anointed one!" He said. "E-Ever since Lord Zomrus' message months ago we have been waiting for this moment! Are you taking us to him?!"
"I am," she agreed. "Will you take me to them?"
"Of course! Please, follow me!" She watched as he jumped up and ran to the door behind them, waiting impatiently for her. There was something amusing about his innocent excitement. It was infectious, she had to admit. Walking towards him, she watched as he opened the door for her and stood aside so she could enter.
And her breathe was taken away.
The open door gave way to an entire valley beneath the ground. An artificial sun hung high in the sky, shining magical light onto the rolling green hills around them. In the center of the valley lay a town made up of countless homes constructed from dark rock mined from around them, and from where she was she could see thousands of people milling about, congregating together in the center of town. Beyond the buildings were fields where plants and animals could be seen, which meant farming was possible here. There was an artificial sea to her left, were waves crashed against a beach that lay several hundred steps from the town. An entire ecosystem beneath the earth for Zomrus' followers. She didn't know what she had expected, but it wasn't this.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Markus asked from beside her. "It's been a while since you've been here, right?" Apate had almost forgotten she came from here.
"Yeah," she agreed. "I'd forgotten what it was like. Most of my childhood is a blur." She neglected to mention she barely remembered anything before ascending to Godhood.
"I imagine so," Markus said. "Please, follow me. I'll take you to Father Aurelius." The named sparked familiarity to her, but nothing more. She followed Markus down the chiseled stone steps, her heart rate increasing the more she thought about meeting her parents again. Would they be proud of her? Did they even love her? Did they give her up to Cain because they hated her?
She shook her head to clear these thoughts. She could dwell on it later.
Markus soon got her to the edge of town, where a checkpoint could be seen. However both guard posts were empty, presumably because they knew it was her who was coming. She was led inside the town, and through the streets before they came upon the mass of citizens who had gathered together. Before them all Apate could see a single old man in a dark robe, Zomrus' symbol emblazoned on it. He had no hair on his head and his body looked frail, but he stood tall like a man with purpose.
"And I say to you, my beloved believers!" The man chanted as she got closer, "that one day the deceiver Ankhseram will receive his due, and the true and one leader of mankind Zomrus will return to his rightful throne! Myself and my forefather have told you this for generations, and it is I who gets to stand before you today and welcome the prophet of our fate! I welcome one of the chosen Disciples, Zomrus' closest believers, who will lead us to our Lord's Holy land!"
He finished his speech by turning and gesturing wildly at her, and everyone went silent. Apate saw Markus retreat and kneel out of the corner of her eye, making her feel on edge.
"The Disciple Apate!" The man roared, knowing her designation. "Has come with word from our Lord Zomrus! She says that the world above has been subjugated, and that our Lord wishes us with him in the new world! Thousands of years of waiting has been for this! What does our Lord Say, O Holy Disciple?!"
Well, she felt like she wanted to crawl into a corner and hide. Of course this guy would make her say something.
"Um," she said under her breath, steeling herself to speak louder. Soon though, words formed on her lips. "Followers of Zomrus. I come to you after we have waited for thousands of years to tell you the time has come. Ankhseram the false God has fallen, and-"
"Sarah?"
Apate froze when a single word, her human name, drifted out from the masses.
She watched as two people worked their way through the crowd, a man and a woman. Both of them had short pale blonde hair and blue eyes, like herself. The woman resembled Jason's face, while the man reminded her of herself. They, like everyone was, were dressed in black robes. They stared at her in awe, and she could only assume what her face looked like.
"...How do you know that name?" She finally asked, as if the answer wasn't bouncing around her head, waiting to be spoken out loud. The woman smiled widely as she clutched at her robes, tears in her eyes.
"It that really you?" She asked, "it's been so long since you've left, I knew you'd forget us..." Apate swallowed hard as her eyes darted between the two of them, hoping and praying this wasn't some sick joke. "You've got your Father's eyes. So wide and hopeful."
"She gets that from you," the man said, barely holding himself together from the sound of his voice.
"Are you...Are you my parents?" Apate asked weakly. The woman nodded vigorously, the man wiping at his eyes. The elder from before walked closer, a wide smile on his face.
"What a wonderous scene!" He shouted, "parents and child, reunited! We must give thanks to Zomrus for this miracle! Disciple, with your permission, I would like to host a banquet tonight, in your and Zomrus' honor! We will celebrate your coming as well as Zomrus' victory over darkness!"
"...Yeah, sure, whatever," Apate replied as her parents stepped closer to her. "Let's do that." The crowd roared in approval, and she could vaguely see the priest sending everyone off in their appointed directions. Soon, the only ones left where they were was herself, her parents, Markus and the elder.
"Markus, my boy!" The elder said, "leave the Disciple with her parents! This is a holy reunion, we do not deserve to witness such a wonderous scene! It is for the honored only!"
"Yes of course, Father Aurelius!" Markus replied. He cast a weak smile at Apate as he walked past her, trotting after Aurelius. This left the three of them alone. Apate returned her eyes to her parents, still in shock.
"...Hi," Apate said after a prolonged silence. Her mother laughed weakly.
"Hi," she said. Apate saw her want to rush forward, but she bowed her head instead. "W-With your permission, holy Disciple, can I embrace you?" She made an annoyed face at this, anticipation racing through her body at light speed.
"You don't need my permission to-!"
Apate didn't get to finish before she was all but consumed by her mother's embrace, her head resting naturally and effortlessly against her shoulder as she was pulled in. Her father hugged both of them tightly, forming the outer layer of the embrace. A familiar, maternal scent enveloped her, one that set her nerves at ease like they had not been in years. This was her mom, she could tell.
"My baby girl," her mother said, holding Apate's head with her hand. "All grown up and a Disciple of Zomrus to boot. I'm so proud of you."
Apate wished that those words made her happy. Instead, her stomach turned violently and her smile faded slightly.
"Thanks," she mumbled. Once she was free of their embrace, she let her Mother lead her off the road and towards a building down the road, which they entered. Once she was inside, she was once again hit with a wave of familiarity. It all felt so similar, but her memories refused to let her see them. The living room to her left with several chairs and a couch made her feel like she wanted to sit down, and the kitchen a bit beyond it made her hungry for a home cooked meal she couldn't remember. Stairs led upstairs to her right, made of the same black stone as everything else. Despite the darkness inside, it felt like home.
At least, she thought it did.
"Come, sit down," her mother insisted, dragging her towards the couch and having her sit. "Patrick, get us some water please?" Her father responded to this, so she figured that was his name. It was odd, hearing your parents actual name. "Sarah, are you hungry? Thirsty?"
"I-I'm okay," she replied weakly, still in a daze. Her mother smiled widely as she ran her thumb over her hand.
"I can't believe it's really happening," she said softly as her father returned, placing three glasses of water and a pitcher on the table between all the furniture. After so many years...How many years has it even been, Patrick?"
"Twelve," he answered with a smile. "Since Cain took the Chosen, anyway."
"Twelve years," her mother said, a faraway look in her eyes. "Seems like it was just yesterday." Apate wished she could relate, but her childhood was still lost in the fog.
"A lot has happened, so it's mostly lost to me," she said. "My time here, anyway."
"That doesn't surprise me," her mother said. "You must have been working hard, helping Cain and Zomrus create a new world."
Right, there was what she'd been doing.
"Sarah," her father said, making her look over at him. "Is it true? Has Zomrus created his new world?" She ignored the annoyance bubbling in her stomach and nodded.
"Yes," she said, "he's dethroned Ankhseram and rules humanity. Myself and the other Disciples help him maintain order." Her mother sighed contently and raised a hand to her heart.
"Blessed is he," she said. "He is truly the true God of humanity. Is it the utopia we were promised it would be?"
Apate wondered about that.
She herself had been put in charge of one of the districts Zomrus had created. Because of this, she could see firsthand what the new world looked like for most people. There was little crime, little unrest, and most people lived decent lives.
But she could not, for the life of her, recall seeing anyone smiling.
There was no civil unrest, sure. But she didn't see any joy either. No one seemed happy about what had happened. Sure it might be because this was such a new thing, but she couldn't be sure. Besides, once new generations were born into this new era, they would know nothing of personal freedom and free will. Only those who had never experienced freedom could be content with this gilded imprisonment.
She realized her parents were waiting for a reply.
"Yeah, it is," she finally said. "We've fixed the world, and will lead humanity forward." She realized as she said it that she didn't really believe those words, but they seemed to make her parents happy.
"That's wonderful," her mother said. "War, famine, murder, rape...All gone. I'm so proud of you and your brother, Sarah. How is Jason? Is he well?"
Oh great.
Apate stared down at her hands, wondering what she would say. Did she say the truth, or hide it?
"...I don't know," she finally said.
"What do you mean?" Her father asked, "isn't he with the Disciples?" She swallowed hard at this, deciding to be truthful.
"Jason...betrayed Cain and Zomrus," she said. "He decided our goal wasn't righteous, and defected. His current whereabouts are unknown."
Silence filled the family home, making her palms grow sweaty. She waited with baited breath for a reply, hoping it wasn't a scream or wail about how horrible that was.
"Is he mad at us?" Her mother asked. Apate looked up and saw both her parents looked terrified.
"What?" She asked.
"Zomrus, is he angry with us?" She asked again, sounding frightened. "Is that why you've come for us? We're being punished for giving birth to a traitor?"
Apate could barely register what she was hearing. That was what she was worried about? Seriously?
"...No, he's not mad," she finally said. "He brought me here so I could bring you to him, and you can live above ground under his rule. It's got nothing to do with Jason's mutiny." This seemed to set both of them at ease, their shoulders losing the tension in them.
"Oh thank God," her father said. "I was worried we were to be punished."
"Punished for what?" Apate asked, "for Jason?"
"Of course," her mother said. "Treason is one of the worst offenses possible, sweetheart. Betraying those you're supposed to be an ally too is absolutely horrific, Zomrus dictates it as such."
"Why?" She asked.
"Because he himself was betrayed by Ankhseram," her father replied. "And as such, the Good Lord views it as reprehensible. I'm relieved we aren't in trouble."
"As am I," her mother agreed. "Although it doesn't matter much to me. A child who would betray Zomrus and his ideals is no child of mine."
Apate stared at both of them in silence, stunned. Neither seemed to be very affected by their words or her stare. Had she really just said that? Disowned her son in a millisecond?
The familial, homey feeling had vacated the house, leaving Apate feeling as though she had fallen into a venomous snake den.
Rain.
It was comforting, in a way, as it distracted from the constant downpour of thoughts in Nashi's head. She stared out of the cave's mouth in silence, watching the dark tree line as the others rested. It was usually her who took first watch when they slept, given how she needed to stay awake longer anyway to keep them warm. They had long since decided using physical fire was a bad idea, and instead she had volunteered to use her magic to keep them warm. She had acted as the group radiator since, making sure they could at least sleep soundly.
Besides, the silence let her think.
The weather had distinctly worsened over the last several days. It was supposed to be springtime, but the wind was terrible, the chill for the others worsened, and the sky never brightened. She had no idea why it looked so awful outside, but it wasn't helping them at all. Then again, that wasn't a surprise. They had no help from anyone or anything save each other. Aether had been silent for weeks now, which meant they must have still been hiding in the right direction. She hoped nothing had happened that made the God stop directing them, as that would be the end of it.
Nashi heard shuffling behind her, but she ignored it, figuring it was just someone moving in their sleep. She continued to stare out into the trees, wondering what it was that would happen if they found Mother. Who was she? How could she help? Were her parents okay? Had they been captured? So many thoughts and worries swirled around in her head that she got exhausted just thinking about it.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when someone sat beside her, also staring out at the rain. When she looked over, her eyes widened when she saw Steph sitting there, legs crossed and arms in her lap. The girl looked as bad as she had for a while, since she barely ate and barely seemed to sleep. The bags under her eyes looked so heavy, it must have been why she was hunched over. Her eyes, the powerful electric blue, had become a sad, darkened hue instead. Nashi wasn't even sure she'd heard Steph speak in weeks. Not wanting to scare her friend off, Nashi returned her eyes to the trees, hoping maybe Steph would speak first. She waited and waited, but Steph didn't say a word. After a few minutes, she began to fear her friend would run off and not say anything. She had to say something first.
"Can't sleep?" She asked.
Steph offered only a grunt in reply, which sounded negative. Nashi decided to take that as confirmation to her question.
"Are you cold?" She asked, "I can turn my heat back up if you want."
"S'fine," Steph replied. The slurred words sounded dead and defeated, tugging on Nashi's heartstrings. The poor girl was just going through the motions, living each day barely giving any thought to her actions or world around her. Like a corpse walking with them. As she stared at the blonde, Nashi decided not to ask how she was doing. Steph was already being watched like a hawk by everyone else, mothered by Ultear, so if she'd wanted to speak on that before now she would have. She figured that this whole ordeal was the last thing she wanted to discuss.
"Weather sucks, huh?" She asked, changing the topic. "Feel like it's getting colder by the minute. At least, from what I can tell."
"Mm."
"Guess it didn't matter I refused a bath from Ul the other day, we got drenched in the rain anyway."
"Mm." Another grunt. Nashi cast her a sideways glance, wondering what it was she was thinking about. This was the first time in forever Steph had done something that wasn't ordered by someone else, so she was incredibly curious.
"You think we'll reach Mother soon?" She asked, changing the topic to something more pressing. She knew she risked having Steph clam up talking about their ordeal, but she had no other topics to talk about. Steph was silent for a good twenty seconds, making Nashi wait in suspense hoping she hadn't messed up.
"Probably soon," Steph finally said. "We're nearing Iceberg's coast, right?" Holy hell, she was continuing the conversation!
"I think so," she agreed, heart pumping excitedly. Steph was really talking to her! "Aether hasn't given us directions recently, so I assume we're still on the right track. He'd tell us if we were going the wrong way."
"I'd hope so," Steph answered. "I wonder what this woman knows." Nashi could barely contain her smile as Steph continued speaking.
"She must be someone important," she reasoned. "Someone more intimately involved with this whole thing."
"Mm, probably." Nashi frowned at the short response, looking back at Steph. She still seemed far away, her eyes as cold and empty as before. She didn't want the conversation to end, but she couldn't find anything relaxing to talk about. All she had was their current predicament.
"She must be close to Ankhseram or something," she said, "because I can't think of anything el-"
"Can I ask you something?" Nashi froze as she was interrupted, turning to look at Steph fully. She still hadn't looked at her, body still as rigid as before.
"Of course, anything," she answered, determined to say anything she could to help. Steph kept her eyes on the trees, taking deep breaths.
"When..." She started, "when the other Nashi died, what did you feel?"
Luna felt her determination wither and die as the events of that day flooded her mind. She vividly recalled Drake's shade running his poisoned fist through Nashi's stomach, destroying it and poisoning her beyond help. She remembered the conversation she had with her dying self, who insisted she keep living for the others as she could not. The pain she felt holding her 'sister' as she died was near indescribable.
However, it wasn't lost on her that Steph was asking for a reason. She had gone through something similar not to long ago. Nashi pushed through the memories to formulate a response.
"I was in so much pain I wanted to die," she said softly. "Like all light had disappeared from my life. I know I was passed out for a while after we were recombined, but...I still felt that way when I woke up. I considered it, momentarily. Dying, I mean. Ultimately I decided doing so would be spitting on her memory. Spitting on what she died for."
"...I feel dead," Steph admitted after a prolonged silence. "Nothing matters to me anymore. I don't want to eat, or drink, or sleep or walk...I just don't care. I just can't see a future for myself anymore."
The blonde gritted her teeth.
"All I can see is my brother getting his throat ripped apart. All I can see when I close my eyes is his lifeless corpse staring at us while Zomrus drones on and on. I can't escape it, no matter what I do. I can't sleep, I can't eat...I can't live like this."
Nashi stared at her for a while longer, waiting to see if she had more to say. Once she was sure she was going to be quiet, she exhaled slowly.
"I know how you feel," she said. "We all do. I don't want to sound like I'm insulting you but...Damien was like a brother to all of us. At least, I saw him that way. Whenever he was by my side in a fight, I felt like there was no way we could lose. We had him."
"And now we don't."
"Now we don't," Nashi agreed, returning her eyes to the trees. She thought quietly for a moment, wondering what she could say to Steph to soothe her. What do you say to someone who watched their brother get murdered?
"...I know how you feel," she finally said. "Not exactly, obviously, but...Some days I want to give up. Some days I just want to bury myself in the dirt and wait for someone else to solve this apocalypse. Sometimes...I do ponder death."
It was a thought Nashi had not shared with anyone else. A few times, recently, the thought had crossed her mind. Not very seriously, just a passing wonder if death would be preferable to struggling pathetically. But the fact that she thought it at all disturbed her slightly.
"...But I can't give up. I have too many people waiting for me."
She thought about her Mom and Dad, somewhere out there fighting. She thought about Luke, who was too young to even understand what was happening. She reminded herself of all their friends sitting behind her, asleep.
She thought about Drake, miles and miles away doing who knew what.
"I can't get caught up in what we lost," she continued, clenching her fists, "when there's so much we still have to fight for. I can't give up. I won't give up. Because if I do...Well, what did 'Nashi' die for? What did Rocky die for? For nothing?" She grit her teeth as resolve flooded her veins, igniting sparks in her hair.
"I can't give up," she said resolutely. "Not until someone strikes me dead. Maybe not even then. Because there is no other way. Not for me, not anymore."
There was a blessed silence between them, Nashi glaring out at the trees as her resolve hardened. For the past few months she'd been letting her worries and depression bog her down. But she couldn't do that. Not when so many people needed her at full capacity. She had more than enough time to me depressed after she was dead, or had saved the world.
Steph scoffed, an oddly light-hearted sound given her mood.
"You really are something else," she said. Nashi looked over and saw a small smile on Steph's face. "Careful, or I might fall for you." Nashi let out a small laugh.
"Yeah, sure," she said. "My bad." Steph gave her a small smile before her gaze returned outside, watching the rain fall.
"...You mind if I sit here with you for a little bit?" She asked, "Don't have to talk or anything."
"No," Nashi replied. "I don't mind."
So the two sat at the entrance to the cave, watching the rain fall. Nashi could feel her eyelids drooping, but she wanted to stay awake as long as she could to keep the others warm. Eventually she moved to the side to lean against the wall in case she fell asleep, and Steph moved with her.
In the blink of an eye, Steph had rested her head on her shoulder and closed her eyes. Nashi remained perfectly still so as to not wake up, eventually looking over to make sure she was asleep.
Steph was out like a light, and for the first time in four months her face wasn't scrunched up in pain. Nashi smiled softly and laid her head back, staring at the cavern roof.
I'm fighting for you too, Steph. For all of us. I'll make sure Damien didn't die in vain. Zomrus is going right back where he belongs, in chains.
Before long her eyes closed and Nashi drifted off into sleep, listening to the rain pelt the trees outside.
Neither girl was awake to see it, but the rain eventually died down, and gave way for the tiniest bit of sunlight from the horizon to greet the world.
So I dunno if I've ever mentioned this before, but I wanted to just in case someone somehow thinks it's on accident; me switching Nashi's names when we're in her POV is very deliberate. I've never once done it on accident. Figured I should mention that given I did it again here.
Also, shoutout to the guy who called this the worst story in the fandom! I'm so very honored to win this award. I mean, out of the thousands of stories, mine is the worst? That's amazing! Should I expect my award in the mail, or do I have to sign something to receive it? I was so sure I'd lose out to the thousands of fics written by people who haven't gone through puberty yet, but somehow I got it! Whoo!