Hello everyone! It is me again, here with another story.
This one is going to be a lot of fun to write and I'm sure people will be mad that the characters are acting different than they would in the show, BUT HEY, this is Fanfiction and I'll write what I want to! You don't want to read about a bunch of dumb, idiot university students doing dumb, stupid university things? Fine! Go and read something else on this site. Hehe!
This is mainly going to be a humour fic with lotsssssssss of dumb hook ups, drinking and lectures!
This and Aura Link are going to be my two main focuses at the moment (with a few one shots every now an then) So expect more soon!
If you like then please drop me a Follow, Fav and Review!
Love you alllll!
I do not own RWBY!
It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and several groups of students were loitering about, enjoying their day. All but one.
Jaune Arc, 18 years old, blonde and completely done with his god damned biology paper. Bloodshot eyes stared at the computer monitor, unblinking as fingers typed away on the keyboard. "Finally..." He muttered as he rolled away from his desk on his chair, grabbing a can of, much needed, energy drink from his nearby minifridge as the blonde teen had just pulled an all-nighter to finish the piece.
"Just in time too." He let out a sigh of relief as he cracked open the can and took a well earned gulp of the sugary drink. Not wanting to relive the embarrassment of missing the deadline again, he rolled back over to the computer and got ready to upload the paper to his Professor. He scrolled over to the 'upload' button and suddenly the screen went black and the ambient hum from his computer died.
His tired eyes shot open in a panic "No no no no no!" He pushed the on button to no avail "Fucking god damn it!" His head met the cold desk, resulting in a bright red mark to pop up on his forehead. He looked around his room and noticed that the light in his minifridge had died out too "That motherfucker..." He growled, getting to his feet and exiting his room.
The blonde teen stormed over to his roommates door and practically punched the door with how angry he was "Neptune, you moron! You forgot to buy electricity again!" He shouted through the locked door.
"Give me a minute!" Neptune called back.
"When your lights don't work like they used to before!" Sang the voice that made the blonde boys eye twitch in annoyance.
Jaune turned to the dorms entrance "Shut the fuck up, Sun. Also your Ed Sheeran impression is shit as usual." Scowling at the tanned boy.
"Yikes." Sun visibly flinched at Jaune's tone "Trouble in paradise? I've been telling you for weeks now, Jauney. You need to get laid and work out these frustrations you're feeling."
"When I snap, you will be the first I come for." Jaune sighed, banging on Neptune's door once again "Get out here you blue idiot!"
"Forget to pay the electric bill again?" Sun asked, taking a seat in the kitchen "Hey Jaune, grab us a beer would ya?"
Jaune nodded "Yep and no, go and drink your own damn alcohol."
"C'mon man, you know what Ren is like with booze in our dorm. And besides, yours is gonna go all warm soon, might as well drink it while it's still cold." The monkey faunus argued back.
Jaune frowned at the thought of Ren, the perfect roommate. At the start of the year he had tried to put in a swap request, but Professor Goodwitch swiftly shot him down. It was like she got off on his despair or something. "Fine, I don't even care, the beers are all Neptune's anyway."
"That's the spirit, buddy!" Sun cheered victoriously and opened the fridge with his tail and grabbing a bottle without even moving from his chair.
"I swear to god, Neptune!" Jaune went back to pounding on the door.
"Oh for the love of.." An eerily familiar voice said from behind the door, swinging it open. "Arc." A short, lithe girl with a pristine, white ponytail was stood in the doorway with a hand on her hip. The look she gave the blonde teen was one of clear annoyance, but luckily for him, he was just as mad.
"Schnee." He spat with venom "I didn't know you were able to be out in the sun, here I was thinking you would melt or something."
"Rich coming from a shut in loser. I'm amazed you made it this far out of your room." She shot back with a smug look plastered on her face "Now, get out of my way so I can leave." She ordered.
"Why not just fly out of the window on your broomstick, you witch?" Jaune smirked back knowing he had won this battle with the Heiress.
"Whatever, freak." She shoved past the lanky boy and stormed out of the dorm.
"Dude," Neptune finally emerged from his room and gave Jaune a 'really?' kind of look "Uncalled for..."
"Why didn't you pay the electricity bill?" The stressed teen immediately asked "I lost my whole fucking biology paper because of you!" His voice rose in volume as the realization he was going to fail again had set in once more.
"Bro, it's not that big of a deal. I hardly ever get my papers done in time." The bluenette tried to reason "I'm sure Professor Peach will give you a time extension on it."
"That's not the point! All you do is fuck around. You don't even clean up after yourself! Sort it out."
"He's right, Nep." Sun agreed, cracking open his second bottle of beer "You need to start bucking your ideas up or Daddy Jaune will have to spank you."
Neptune jumped in fear, not knowing that the monkey boy was in the dorm "How long have you been here?" He questioned "Is that my beer?"
"Don't worry about what Sun is doing. Get your shoes on and go buy some electric." Jaune instructed "You better be quick or I'll get Cardin to tie you up and throw you in the pool."
Neptune's face paled "You.. You wouldn't actually do that... Right?"
Jaune just stared at him through tired eyes, with a deadpan expression.
"I'll grab my shoes..."
"Good boy." Jaune said as Neptune practically sprinted out of the dorm.
"You know, I'm not sure I like your sadistic side." Sun popped open his third bottle "Want one?" He presented an unopened bottle in his tail.
"Nothing better to do." Jaune shrugged and took a seat opposite his 'friend', taking the bottle in his own hands and twisting off the lid "How are things going with Blake?" He tried to start up some small talk while he waited for the electricity to come back on.
"What do you mean?" Sun replied with a raised eyebrow.
"Didn't you kinda hook up at Xiao Long's party? I mean, that's what Neptune had said. It's not like I get invited to anything..." Jaune groaned, one misunderstanding at the start of the year and he was now labelled as the University's creep.
"Cause you're a pretty creepy dude." Sun laughed before realising what he had said "Urmm... No offence?"
"Offence taken." Jaune took a swig of Neptune's beer. Alcohol always tasted better when it was someone else's, he thought "Now stop changing the subject."
"Ah fine!" Sun groaned "Nothing happened between us, I asked and she rejected me, let's move on."
Jaune couldn't help but smirk "Finally a girl you haven't been able to conquer? This is big news." He said pulling out his phone and opening up the 'Boiz on Tour' group chat.
"Don't you dare." Sun warned "If you send that message, I'll put pictures of your Little Mix posters all over campus." He threatened.
"Dunno what you're talking about..." Jaune answered back, but pocketing his phone at the same time "Why did she reject you though? I mean you aren't the worst looking guy on campus. Did you piss her off?"
Sun shrugged "Hell if I know. I was nothing but a gentleman to her."
"Why would Neptune say you pulled her though?"
The two pondered the question for a moment before simultaneously saying "Cause he's Neptune."
"You know what he's like."
"I'm more familiar with 'Mr Different Partner Every Night' than I ever wanted to be." Jaune groaned "Seriously, I wish I could have anyone else as a roommate. It wouldn't be that bad if the girls he brought home weren't all total stuck up bitches."
"Speaking of that." Sun popped the fridge open and frowned at the sight of one last bottle "Do you argue with all his one night stands or just the special ones?"
Jaune spluttered on his beer "Schnee is not special, she is a monster." He countered "And no, they normally see me and look at me in disgust before leaving."
"Because you're a creep."
"I will kill you."
~~~Vale University~~~
Jaune polished a pair of bowling shoes, while Neptune worked the till. Just outside of the Uni was a huge, public leisure centre that consisted of a cinema, a swimming pool, an arcade, laser tag, a bowling alley and more. Several restaurants were inside the massive complex too, just adding to the business of the building. Many of the students had found jobs easily within the walls of leisure and Jaune was no different. Why though, did Neptune have to apply for the same job as he had?
"Two size 7's, Jaune." Neptune called out, handing the change to the customer.
Jaune put the shoes on the counter and went back to polishing the unused shoes. It wasn't the most noble of jobs, but it paid the bills and put food on the table. It was just a shame it was usually Sun who indulged in that food.
"Heads up!" Neptune hollered, throwing the customers shoes at his seated blonde roommate.
"Fucking gross." Jaune picked up the scuffed shoes and placed them in then stand "Stop doing that."
"Sorry buddy, but it's what you get. Because of you, Weiss doesn't wanna come over anymore." Neptune frowned "Couldn't you have been a bit nicer to her?"
"Best news I've had all year." Jaune laughed "I was thinking of performing a ritual to ward off witches and now I don't have to."
"Dude!" Neptune protested.
"Hey, ladies! I don't pay you two to talk." Dew Gayl shouted over to the pair. She brushed a strand of hair out of her face "Can't believe I have to babysit you idiots every shift..."
"Aren't you just a team leader?" Jaune replied "You're not exactly in a managers position."
"And you're both below me. So you do as I say." She countered, noticing Neptune was about to speak up "Don't you say it." She growled at him, expecting some sort of innuendo to come out of the boys mouth.
Neptune raised his hand.
"What is it?" Dew had given up "It better not be stupid though."
"Nothing stupid." The blue haired boy promised "I just wanted to say that your hair looks really nice today." He shot her his famous smile and wink combo.
The girls face instantly went red "Yes... well," She hid her face behind her hand "Thank you for noticing." She said quietly under her breath. "Now get back to work!"
"Think I can get the dorm to myself for a while later?" Neptune asked the blonde, eyes glued to Dew while she walked passed.
"What about Schnee?"
"Who?"
"Ah..." Jaune almost felt sorry for the white haired girl, almost. "What the hell am I supposed to do? Just sit outside until you're done?"
"You could do that. Good idea, buddy."
"I actually hate every single one of you..."
"You're a good guy."
"One day you'll think with your brain instead of your dick." Jaune put away the last of the shoes and stood up "My shift is over so I'm going home."
"Yeah yeah, just be sure to be out of there by 8." Neptune reminded him.
"I never agreed to that." Jaune said as he clocked out on the till "Besides, you still owe me over the electric situation."
"Fine, whenever you bring a girl over, I'll get out of your hair." Neptune laughed "Is that fair?"
"When do I ever bring girls over?"
"Exactly."
~~~Vale University~~~
Sun Wukong was a simple man. Beer and girls. Unfortunately, he had to work to be able to afford one of those things. "Hey! No running by the pool!" He called out to some obnoxious little brat who chose to ignore his warnings. Luckily his job was the easiest thing in the world, sit in a lifeguard chair with a cold soda and sometimes jump into the pool to save someone. Easy peasy.
"Hey, Sun!" An absolute blonde bombshell strutted over to the chair "I haven't seen you since my party the other day. Where ya been hiding?"
"How ya doing, Yang?" He greeted back "And I haven't been hiding."
"Help! I'm drowning!"
"Shouldn't you help?" Yang asked.
"If they were really drowning they wouldn't have time to say so." Sun shook his head "Grow up, pal!" He yelled out to the guy in the pool. "What are you even doing here today? Isn't it your week off?"
"Am I not allowed to come and wear my new bikini at the public pool?" She responded, pretending to look hurt.
"Of course you are. But that's not what you're doing." Sun eyed the curvaceous blonde "Lonely?"
"You know it." She laughed, followed by a sigh "Turns out all the nice guys that showed up at the party were all taken. Do you know how upsetting it is when the girl throwing the party can't get dicked down?"
"Dude! There are kids here, keep it down with that sort of language." He scolded her "At least you didn't get rejected."
"Blakey turn you down again?"
"Who else?" He gave a dry laugh "I'll get over it." He grabbed his soda and took a sip.
"Wow, you really got it bad for her, don't ya?" Yang grew a playful smirk "That's actually kinda unexpected from you."
"I think that's the problem. She probably thinks I'm some kind of man whore." The lifeguard sighed.
"Is she wrong?"
"Not the point. I'm having worse luck with the ladies than Jaune at the moment." Sun groaned, turning his eyes back to the pool and seeing the same annoying brat running "I said no running!" He yelled out once again.
"Yeah, but he's a creep." Yang laughed "At least you got that over him."
"He's not as bad as everyone thinks and he is one of my best friends, I'd appreciate it if you stopped calling him a creep." Sun got uncharacteristically serious and shot her a glare "I've got to work, so go annoy some other boy." He shooed her away with his hands.
"Yeah yeah, tell that to Weiss." Yang said in response "Just wanted to let you know, Russel is throwing a house party tomorrow night and we are definitely crashing it."
Sun had grown tired, all he wanted to do was bask in the sun from his chair and get paid "Yeah, fine, whatever. Just let me work in peace."
"Help! I'm drowning again!"
"No ones buying it, buddy!" Sun angrily shouted back.
~~~Vale University~~~
"I'll take a scoop of mint choc chip, please." Jaune asked the short, multi-coloured haired girl. Just like Neptune had asked, he had gotten out of the room so he and his 'partner' could have some alone time and somehow ended up in an ice cream shop.
The girl rolled her eyes and put a hand on her hip, shaking her head.
"But... I like mint choc chip." Jaune looked at the girl in disbelief "So, I'll get the mint choc chip, please." Had this girl really just refused his order because she didn't approve?
Once more the girl shook her head and pointed at the largest cone size, then towards the vanilla, then the chocolate and finally the strawberry. With a nod and a smirk she gave him a thumbs up.
Jaune couldn't believe it, first he had been kicked out of his own dorm and now this little devil refused to get his order right. He shot her a thumbs down and angrily pointed at the mint choc chip. "One scoop, please." He was growing tired of this little charade now and just wanted his delicious minty treat.
The girl leapt over the counter and grabbed the boy by his collar, shaking him without saying a word.
"Get the hell off me, shrimp!" Jaune screamed in the otherwise, dead silent shop. She didn't stop her assault and instead wrapped her small hands around his neck, starting to choke him out.
"Neo!" Shouted a shocked voice as she was pulled away from her prey "How many times do I have to tell you to not assault our customers?" A man with long ginger hair covering one of his eyes asked with a sigh "Seriously," He gently placed the girl back behind the counter before turning his attention back to the now, gasping for air, blonde "Look kid, here at Romans and Neos, you get what you're given, not what you choose."
"Who are you calling kid?" Jaune rubbed his neck "I know you're just a 3rd year, so don't talk down to people like you're some sort of criminal mastermind. Also, what the hell kind of service is that?!" Jaune protested "What about the customer always being right? If I want mint then give me mint!" He honestly believed his day couldn't get any worse after being told to vacate his dorm, but here he was! Arguing with two ice cream psychos.
"If you want to start trouble, then I'll gladly put you in your place, kid." The ginger man scowled as the girl swooned, waving her hand in front of her face.
Knowing he couldn't fight worth shit, Jaune gave a defeated sigh "Fine, I'll have the triple scoop." He said, head hung low. If his dad could see him right now, he'd drag his ass back to Ansel.
"That'll be 15 Lien!" The man said happily and Neo held out her hand, opening and closing it impatiently "Oh, and don't forget the tip."
"Daylight robbery..." He muttered, reluctantly placing two notes in Neo's palm.
"Don't be ridiculous, you've simply brought a product and tipped generously!" Roman exclaimed excitedly, waving off the notion of theft.
Neo held out the triple scooped cone with a smile and Jaune accepted it with a quiet thanks and left the store.
"Thank you for your patronage!" The man shouted after him.
Jaune shook his head and took a step out of the shop, and if by some sort of divine fate, the cone slipped from his grasp and landed on the floor with a splat. The blonde's eye twitched and he could feel an outburst quickly approaching. 'Fuck it! Don't care if Neptune wants to bang Dew in peace, It's my place too!' He spun around, ready to march back home and "For fucks sake."
"Now, that's just pathetic." Weiss Schnee, resident rich bitch stood with her dainty hand half covering her amused smirk "As much as I would love to stay and watch you're little life fall to pieces, I have to go and get my nails done for my date with Neptune tomorrow."
"Oh yeah? Well my life might be falling to pieces, but at least my partner," Not that he had one "Isn't currently fucking one of their co-workers!" There it was, the outburst. He knew he shouldn't have grassed up his roommate, but to hell with it, fuck the world and fuck him.
"Wha.. What?" Weiss looked at him in disbelief "Neptune wouldn't do that." She said, not sounding too sure of herself. She quickly regained her composure, smug smirk appearing once again "As if I'd trust a word that comes out of your mouth." She laughed and pushed past him, but the usual 'pep' in her step was no longer visible.
"Whatever." Jaune replied with a shrug and began his walk back home.
First chapter done and I honestly had so much fun writing it! It kind of feels like writing a sit com, but not as serious and stuff ya know?!
Anyway, thank you for making it this far and I hope you continue to read my stuff!
Until next time!