"I don't have any pants," Dumbledore said as he took a dump on the head of Voldemort.
"What the fuck you motherfucker. Stop raping me." Voldemort said.
"I'm not raping you. I just need pants."
"But you're wearing pants."
"That's my beard."
"Well it's long enough to cover your pen15."
"What about my butthole?"
"Your hair is long enough to cover that."
"But I want pants…"
I can't believe I'm having this conversation with Dumbledore, Voldemort thought to himself, The world famous good-guy.
"You don't need pants," Voldemort said, wiping poop off his bald head, "You haven't been arrested for public nudity."
"But I want to poop in public and I don't want everyone to know," Dumbledore complained.
"Then use a toilet."
"I'm not potty trained."
"But if you poop yourself then it'll smell."
"I'll just cast anti-smell charms."
"So why don't you just use a toilet."
"I'm scared I'll fall in."
"Then you can just poop standing up," Voldemort said, going to the bathroom.
Dumbledore watched as the evil wizard pooped in the toilet standing up.
"I'm done," Voldemort said, "I'll go out now."
Voldemort walked out, leaving Dumbledore in the bathroom.
Dumbledore felt a sudden pressure in his lower abdomen, some sort of pain that he needed to release. His butthole started to hurt and he moved his long hair out of the way, not wanting to poop on it. This meant he was perfectly fine to poop. He moved closer to the toilet and opened his butthole, allowing a freeway for the poop to come out. The brown partial-solid slowly moved out of his butthole, and Dumbledore smiled as it hit the toilet. He didn't bother wiping and left the bathroom to see Hermione Granger. She walked in the stall that Dumbledore just left.
"Why is there poop on the toilet seat?" She asked.
"I don't know," Dumbledore said.
Hermione threw the poop at Dumbledore and it hit his beard. He took the poop off and threw it at her. She pooped into her hand and threw that at Dumbledore and then Voldemort walked in and joined in on the fun. They were in a poop fight. They were laughing and having a good time.
"Yuck, that's diarrhea," Hermione complained.
"Well at least I'm not constipated," Voldemort said.
"I poop five times a day at minimum," Dumbledore said, "but I'm pooping more because I'm in a poop fight."
"Our bodies make poop fast because we are in a poop fight," Hermione added.
"Well it's fun," Dumbledore laughed.
"I agree," Voldemort laughed.
The three of them broke into laughter.
Draco Malfoy heard laughing in the girls bathroom. He had a feeling someone was getting laid in there. He entered there anyways and saw that people were having a poop fight.
He fainted into a pile of poop and everyone started laughing.
Yes, this had all started because Dumbledore didn't have any pants.