The last few weeks had been going really well for both Adam and Kim. After the locker room incident Kim had done surprisingly well. After spending time talking about and working through the pain she rebounded. No nightmare, no flashback. They had returned to work to see all their friends wishing them well and cheering them on. Buzz around the district was not to mess with Kim or you were done for. Not the proper message but she figured it was better than her rape incident spreading. And in some strange way it had brought the couple closer together. Showing they could conquer the world if they just stayed together.
But this week was the week her friends and family dreaded. It was the anniversary of her rape this week. It fell on Wednesday this year and both were off that day so Adam could support Kim. They had been up during the night when Kim had a really bad nightmare. She was in a trance and thought Adam was her attacker. It took awhile to wake her but when he woke her she was still scared and sobbed. He had helped her into the shower as she was soaked of sweat. He stayed in the shower with her to make sure she was okay and once she was clean he dried her, including her hair. He then changed her sheets and helped her get changed into dry clothes. She had apologized profusely but Adam just waved it off. He would do it every day if needed.
Adam woke before her and stayed still trying not to wake her. He knew she needed sleep after last night. He had gone out of his way last week to warn his parents of what this week was with the bare minimum details but he wanted them in the loop just in case they needed a sitter quickly. They understood and offered to take both kids if needed. They hadn't spend much time with Allie but wanted to help out if needed and she was a part of Adams life so they would make it work. Adam felt Kim starting to stir next to him, she buried her face deeper into his side trying to fall back to sleep. "Darling it's time to wake up. We have work today." Adam kissed her head as she snuggled closer. "Kim Baby. We need to get up. The kids will be up soon and we have to work." Adam watched as her eyes fluttered open.
"Good morning darling! How are you feeling this morning?" Adam whispered as he kissed her head. "Still tired but okay. Thank you for last night. I really appreciated what you did for me. I'm sure I hurt you pretty bad, I hope you know I didn't mean it. I thought I was back there, in the that room, being thrown on to the desk. I was trying to get away. But I never do." Kim stared into the distance as she spoke almost like she was alone. "Oh Kim. I'm not going anywhere. I know you didn't mean it and I knew what was happening without you telling me but I'm happy you felt like you could tell me. What can I do for you?" Adam asked as tried to figure out what to do to help her. "I don't even know. Just being here is enough for me. Just love me." Kim asked. "I will always love you! Forever!" Adam stated knowing she didn't mean the other way.
"Adam I want you to make love to me." Kim begged. "Darling I don't know if that's a good idea. I feel like that would be taking advantage of you and then I would be no better than him. You are overly emotional right now for good reason. You need to work through those feelings before we can do that. I will always put you first so that means I need to know if you are mentally okay with being intimate and I don't know for sure. But know that I love you and will always support you." Adam watched Kim as she nodded with tear filled eyes. She was beyond emotional and he was right to say no, she wanted it for the wrong reasons.
They decided to get up and check on the kids. They needed to be up soon but they still had some time. They headed downstairs where Adam made coffee and Kim headed out to the deck. She needed fresh air, she needed to breath. She really wanted to be over all this crap. She had an idea but she didn't think Adam would approve but she really thought it would help her. As he came outside with her cup he sat next her knowing she was deep in thought. He waited patiently for her to speak knowing she needed time and space today and all week. She had been quiet so long it actually startled him when she spoke. "I think I need to see him. Confront him. Maybe get the peace I need to truly move on, to truly heal. I think doing it Wednesday would be appropriate since it's the anniversary." Kim started at the yard as she spoke afraid to look at Adam knowing he was probably pissed.
"Kim I don't think it's a good idea but if you want to go I will go with you. I will not let you face him alone. But I really want you to think about it and talk to Dr Charles about it. You value his opinion, so ask him when you see him today." Adam kissed her head before heading into the house to get Riley up and moving. He was about to call Kim in about Allie but her father showed up and took over. It was the Monday morning routine and Adam stayed out of it. As he brought Riley down he heard Allie laughing with her dad and it made him smile but also sad. He wished Allie was his daughter and one day she would be because he would never refer to her as a step child, she would just be his.
When he got downstairs Kim was still outside zoned out. "Ry go get Kimmie!" Adam put him down and watched as he ran towards her. He was so excited to see her. She picked him right away and snuggled him. He loved to snuggle and so did Kim. When Allie was ready for the day she came out to see her mom before leaving for breakfast with her dad. "Good morning mommy!" Allie said as she climbed into Kim's lap. "Good morning sweetie! Did you sleep good?" Kim asked she knew Eric was behind her but wasn't phased. "Yes and daddy's here! We are going to breakfast!" Allie loved breakfast with her dad. "That's great sweetheart! Have a wonderful day at school and be good for your dad okay. I love you" Kim kissed and hugged her daughter before she jumped down. "Love you too mommy!" Allie went inside with her dad and ran to Adam for a hug.
"Adam mommy's sad today why?" Allie asked knowing Adam would know. "Well sweetie you remember how mommy got hurt by the bad man. Well this week is the anniversary of that happening. And it always makes mommy very sad. But that just mean we have to love her more. Can you do that for me?" Adam asked knowing the answer. "Yes! Will you help mommy not to be sad too?" Allie asked very innocent like. "I sure will. Whatever it takes. Now I'm sure you are hungry so you better head out with your dad okay? Love you sweetie!" Adam kissed her forehead before setting her down. "Love you too Adam!" Allie yelled as they left. They were alone again. Adam decided to make an easy breakfast and then see if she would eat. He figured she wouldn't but he had to try.
"Kim I made some toast for you and brought out a banana. I need you to eat something and I know you will say you are not hungry but I need you to eat. Come Ry let's head inside for some breakfast. Let Kimmie have some space." Adam picked him up and carried him to the kitchen. Adam made a simple oatmeal for his son and eggs, bacon and toast for himself. We was watching Kim the whole time. She did try to eat but she felt sick with each bite. But she knew he wouldn't allow her to waste away so she suffered through it. After Adam and Riley had finished eating he took them upstairs to get ready for the day. Kim was still zoned out but her shoulders looked less tense. When they finished getting ready Adam stepped back outside to get Kim moving. "Darling it's almost time to leave. I need you to go get dressed. And remember you will be on desk duty this week so at least you will have air conditioning with that non breathable polyester." Adam tried to get her to smile but it didn't work. Instead she burst into tears.
"Kim. It's okay. You are safe and loved! You got this! You can do this. I got you!" Adam rubbed her back as she cried. Neither noticed Riley walking towards them until he curled up in Kim's lap. "No sad! Me love Kimmie!" Riley stated as he hugged Kim. They both looked shocked. "I love you too buddy! You are the best little man ever!" Kim hugged him tighter. Surprisingly after a few minutes the tears dried and a smile was present. Adam didn't question it. The love from a child could do amazing things and here it saved Kim from the turmoil in her head. Kim headed upstairs to get ready for work while Adam made lunch for Riley. He really just needed something to do while he waited. Once she was ready the headed off to Adams moms place to drop off Riley then to the district.
Kim's smile had grown wider as they got closer to the district. They walked in hand in hand before Kim headed off to her assigned task for the day and Adam headed to the bullpen. He was waiting for all the questions they would have knowing what this week was. As he made his way to the top he noticed he was the last one but he was still on time. He placed his things down and headed for the break room in desperate need of coffee. Once he entered he noticed he was followed by Erin, Jay and Kevin. "How did it go this morning?" Erin asked. Adam didn't answer he just started to remove his shirt. "Woah no need to strip down dude!" Kevin half joked. "No you idiot! This is how it went." He took off his shirt to show them the scratch marks and bruises.
"Damn! What the hell happened?" Jay asked as he looked over the damage. "Well she had a full blown nightmare. Literally thought I was her attacker. She was fighting him off in her dream and I took the brunt. When I finally got her to wake I barely caught her as she broke into sobs. She looked so broken. I eventually got her in the shower, with help to wash all the sweat off. They dried her and changed the sheets before redressing her and getting her back into bed. Then this morning she tells me she wants me to make love to her which I said no because she's not in the right frame of mind. Then she tells me she wants to go visit him in jail to try to get closure. She promised to talk to Dr Charles before making a final decision. Later she succumbed to tears again only for my son to tell her he loves her and not to be sad. After the shock wore off she started to smile and seemed better. Needless to say I'm pretty exhausted." Adam sat down after he put his shirt back on allowing someone to see the emotional toll this was taking on him too.
"Man I'm sorry about all of this but maybe she does need to see this guy. Confront him. Maybe it will help maybe it won't but I think she needs to try. For herself. Just think about it." Kev patted him on the back and exited the room leaving the other three to chat. "Okay so how are you doing, really?" Erin asked as she sat next to him. Seeing he really needed a helping hand. "Um not great. I keep waiting for her to fall apart. I'm walking on pins and needles. I know this is my first year dealing with it and her head on but it's harder than I imagined. I think I need to talk to someone to help me get through this too. But honestly after the way she reacted to Riley saying I love you. Maybe things will get better. You know it's kind of wait and see. Wednesday is the big challenge for sure. Especially if she goes to see this freak!" Adam just hung his head. He felt lost and didn't know how to help.
"Look you are doing great. You made it through the night and didn't leave. You made she showered, ate and felt loved. I promise you are doing good at this. Step by step we will all be here to help you all get through this." Jay left after that. Knowing nothing could be said to make it better. Only time and experience. He had helped a ton of people with nightmares so he knew the struggle and Adam was holding up pretty good all things considered. But every person is different in how they handle things. But he was also confident that Adam and Kim would survive this time. They learned from the past and are making the effort not to repeat it.
"Adam you are doing a great job and based on what you told us this is going better than past years. I know that doesn't help much but you are doing great! I promise you guys will be okay. We got your back. All you you! Now come on looks like we caught a case." Erin stood up to head out. Voight looked at her with a knowing look, she just nodded and moved on. They could talk later about it. For now they had a case that was the top priority. As they headed to the crime scene Adam left through the lobby so he could see Kim and make sure she was still ok. He definitely didn't expect what he saw. She was happy laughing at something her partner was telling her. She looked normal.
"Hey Burgess! How's it going today?" Adam smirked as walked over. Kim blushing as he called her by her last name. "Hey Ruzek! It's going good. But I hear you have a case so get your ass out of here!" Kim winked as he laughed and walked off. He sent a text as he hit the car saying 'good to see you smiling darling!' He knew she would blush but didn't care she was happy, genuinely happy. The case dragged on for hours, hitting nothing but dead ends. Adam was pissed he wanted this solved so he could focus on Kim. He was so zoned into his work that he didn't notice her sitting next to him. "Kim you scared me!" Adam all but yelled when he finally noticed her. The entire room burst into laughter.
"Sorry I have been here for like 10 minutes already. It's after therapy and I figured you would want an update." Kim was still smiling so he figured it was good news but he wanted to hear it. "Yeah let's hit the break room." Adam helped her up before walking behind her to the break room almost like he was guiding her. Once the door was closed he made them both a coffee and sat across from her at the table. This way they could talk face to face and he could watch her expressions. "So Dr Charles felt like last night was bound to happen no matter what. That just because I'm in a good place doesn't mean it wouldn't happen. He didn't love the idea of me going to see my rapist in jail but understood that I want to do it. He told me only I can give myself closure. No one can do it for me, just me. I still want to try. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. But I think it's worth a shot." Kim explained as she stared at her hands hoping he would be okay.
"Well then that's what we will do. You aren't going alone. I'm here 100% and when you leave that place we can do whatever you want for the rest of the day." Adam wanted to show her how much he supported her but he was at work to he kept distance between them. "Thank you I appreciate that so much. I think it's going to be good. I can stand up for myself like I couldn't before. I couldn't even look at him in court. I just stared straight ahead. I need to do this, for me, for us so we can all move on. And then when we get home we can do whatever." Kim said with a beaming smile and a wink. "I will make a deal with you. You know I'm down for whatever you want to do most of the time but in this instance I have rules. I will not take advantage of you. So you are in charge. You pick what and where we do things. You can tell me what to do but I would much prefer you being the one to do things. That's how you can show me that you are okay. Because 13 year old Kim pre rape couldn't keep her hands to herself. And I know she's deep in there clawing her way out. If you are truly okay allow her to shine with me again." Adam offered her hand to shake for a deal but she stood and moved over to kiss him. As she got super close almost touching she whispered deal before crashing her lips to his.
Kim left a pretty shocked Adam behind in the break room as she walked back down to work. The knock on the door brought him out of his shock. "You good man?" Jay asked as they were all headed to the garage to leave. "Um yeah. We heading out?" Adam asked as looked around. "Yup let's head out." Adam grabbed his gun so he was ready to go. They headed towards a suspects home. Al filled him in on the case so they were both up to date and prepared for the case. Thankfully Adams head was in the game even with all the issues in his life. They arrived on scene the team waited for directions from their boss. Once they had direction they took up their position Adam was in the back with Al and Kevin, the rest were entering the front. They couldn't let him get away.
As they all entered the home clearing each room before heading up the stairs. They saw the perp running so Jay and Adam took off after him while Antonio and Kevin headed back downstairs and outside. They watched the struggle happening on the deck. Adam and the perp trading punching. The last punch threw the men off balance as the broke through the deck railing falling to the ground. Adam landed on the perp before rolling over gasping for air. Jay was watching from the deck as Antonio ran over to cuff the perp and Kevin helped Adam up. Paramedics had been called to the scene to make sure they were both okay.
Erin called ahead to the district to let Kim know what had happened. She was upset but was thankful for him being okay. When the team returned to the district Adam went to the locker room to change his clothes before washing up some. He hadn't noticed that Kim was standing behind him. Her shift was over and she needed to check up on him. "Hey. I'm headed out and wanted to check in on you. How are you feeling?" Kim asked as she gently hugged him. "I'm in pain but it's not terrible. I'm just happy we got him and I'm not in the hospital. Better I can be there for you and our kids." Adam hugged her back loving this feeling. "Well we love you and are happy you are okay. Come over tonight and I will have a bath with you." Kim offered. "Sounds perfect. Would you mind picking up Ry for me? I think I'm gonna need to help tonight with him." Adam asked hoping she wouldn't mind. "I got him. No worries. Now get back to work. See you later love you!" Kim winked. "Love you too darling!"
Kim left the district after chanting out and headed to pickup Allie and then headed to get Riley. She had not done this before but Adams parents knew her or of her and Riley would be fine with it. After they got home Kim got them snacks and then took them outside to run around for awhile. Summer would be ending soon so Kim wanted the kids outside as much as possible. And thankfully the kids loved being outside. It was actually very helpful that the kids loved outside so much. It gave Kim time to get things done since the yard was fenced in with no gates.
Kim made an easy dinner for her and the kids that they would eat with no issues. The kids were starving since they had run around so hard. Once they finished eating Kim took the kids upstairs to get baths and jammies on. After that the kids sat down to watch a movie as they waited for Adam to come home. The kitchen did started to fall asleep during the movie just as Adam came through the door. "Hey they are almost out." Kim whispered. "God thank you for this! I will take Ry up and meet you in our room." Adam kissed her forehead as he picked up Riley and Kim lifted Allie up. The kids settled easily and the couple headed to their room for bath time. No sexy time tonight, it was strictly about soaking Adams sore muscles.
Kim started the bath as Adam stripped off his dirty clothes, he noticed afterwards all the bruises that had already started to show. Kim stripped down as well and then moved to Adam to start kissing each and ever bruise that started to show. When she finished she helped in the tub letting his body relax. "I hope this helps some. I just want you to relax so you feel better. No stress tonight, no physical activity either. Just rest and relaxing." Kim whispered as she settled against his body. "Yeah I don't think I'm up that tonight. I know you probably weren't wanting that but I appreciate you forcing me to relax and rest. You truly are the best my love." Adam held her tight as they both relaxed knowing they were all safe.