Today was the day. The day everyone dreaded. The anniversary of Kim's rape. Adam had awoken early to plans in place to start the day strong and hopefully end just as strong. He headed to the kitchen to make her a cup of relaxing tea to help ease her nerves about the day. He also brought out the flowers he had bought for her the day before. He went with Lilies. He knew the meaning behind them of feeling like you are on cloud nine with that person but he also knew it was a sign of peace and that was drove his purchase. After the tea was finished brewing he headed back to their room with the cup for Kim. He set it down next to her side of the bed and walked around to snuggle beside her again.
Adam allowed her to wake up naturally since it was already a tough day. He didn't want to risk annoying her by waking her before she was ready. He felt her starting to wake slowly but she didn't open her eyes she just snuggled deeper into his chest. Adam smiled wide loving how comfortable she was in his arms. It took about 20 more minutes before her eyes started to flutter open. Kim took a look around her room sighing in relief when she felt Adam kiss her forehead. She was safe and he was here just like he said he would. "Good morning darling. How are you this morning?" He whispered as Kim stretched a little. "Morning. I'm okay. Right now I feel okay. Later we will see." Kim shrugged it was hard to explain how she felt.
"So how about we snuggle a bit longer then get the kids ready for their days and once we drop them off you and I go to breakfast together? Try to relax a bit before your therapy appointment." Adam knew she wouldn't eat otherwise so this was necessary to make sure she was taken care of. "Yeah that works. I'm not hungry though." Kim was never hungry when she was stressed out. It was her thing but she also knew Adam was trying to help and she appreciated not doing this alone this year. "Oh I know that but I also know you need to eat something. Even if it's fruit and yogurt that's fine but you have to eat something." Adam wasn't allowing her to drown in sorrow and he wasn't allowing her to neglect her health either. "I will try my best I promise." Kim never broke a promise so he believed she would try, for him at least.
As it got later Kim had her tea and the couple got up to get the kids ready for the day. Allie has school and Riley was going to Adams dads for the entire day for a sleepover. Allie would go to her grandfathers house after school for a sleepover. It was planned in advance just in case the visit to the jail went very wrong. While the kids ate breakfast Kim showered and got ready for her day of appointments. She had therapy at 10, support group at noon and finally the jail at 2. It was going to be trying but Adam would be by her side the whole time. Once she came downstairs Adam ran up quick to shower and get ready, it never took him long so be always went last. The kids chatted away the entire car ride to Allie's school. It was loud but super cute and it was a great distraction for Kim. She was able to get out of her head some. After they dropped Allie off they headed to Adams dads house. It took almost 30 minutes to get there and Riley talked the whole time. It was still a struggle to understand him all the time but loved how he shined under attention. He was definitely just like his father.
Once they were alone again Adam watched Kim get more nervous and anxious. Her legs tapping constantly, biting on her bottom lip, wringing her hands together. Adam just reached over and squeezed her knee letting her know he was there. They arrived outside a small cafe that had decent food and really good coffee that they both liked. They sat at a small table towards the back while they waited to be served. Kim stated at the menu for what seemed like forever before Adam just made a decision for them both. He ordered two meals that she would like and would let her pick off both. Anything to get her to eat something.
When the food came Kim just picked at it barely eating anything but she noticed the look she was getting and started to take a few bites. She wouldn't admit it but it did make her feel a little better. They didn't speak the whole time just sat with the feelings and emotions of the day. Neither had words to explain how they felt but Adam knew he was scared that seeing her rapist again would break Kim or that he would kill the man. No one would blame him for it but he had his son, his family to think about so he had to keep it in check. As breakfast came to an end Adam noticed that Kim had more color in her skin tone and her shoulders looked more relaxed. He didn't say anything though, not wanting to look smug.
The car ride to therapy Kim had started to talk. Nothing important but talking was an improvement. She was holding a conversation, asking questions, it felt like this was going better than everyone expected. By the time they arrived for her therapy appointment she almost seemed normal to an outside. But Adam knew she was still nervous and scared. When they got out if the car she reached for his right away letting him know that she was nervous but knew he was there. The walk to the office was quiet, it was a hospital after all and they wanted to be respectful. Kim knocked on the office door and waited, her hands shaking a bit. This day was always hard and always hard to talk about. As she went into the office she didn't let go of Adams hand silently asking him to join her session.
Reluctantly Adam entered the room with her. He hated therapy but for her he would endure it. He sat next to her on the couch still holding her hand but some distance between them. "Hello Kim. Adam thank you for joining us today. How are you both holding up?" Dr Charles asked as he took out his notes for their sessions. "Thank you for having me." Adam decided to go first and maybe that would help Kim to be more open. "Today I feel like I'm walking on eggshells but I'm trying everything I can to support Kim and make sure she is well cared for. I hate talking about my feelings but I'm willing to try for her. I'm scared for later when we see him for the first time in 13 years. I'm worried I won't be able to stop myself from hitting him. I'm worried what it's going to do to Kim to see him again. I'm afraid of a back slide in her progress. But I'm also hopeful that this is the year things turn around for her as far as this situation goes." Adam put it all out there knowing she needed to hear it.
He looked over to see tears in Kim's eyes, he slowly brought her into his side to comfort her. "It's okay Kim, let it out. That's why we are here. To talk about this and to feel." Adam rubbed her back while she cried forgetting they had an audience till a tissue box was handed to him. Adam nodded a thanks and tended to Kim. "Well Adam I want to thank you for being open even though you don't like it. I appreciate that you spoke your truth. And I'm sure Kim appreciates too." He watched Kim nod while he smiled and took notes. "Kim can you tell me how you are feeling right now after hearing that." Dr Charles knew Kim had a lot to say, she always did on this day. Lots of tears and lots of anger were always present.
Kim pulled herself together to speak. "I feel angry at myself for risking my family over my selfish need to see my rapist. I never thought about how Adam would feel towards him, only me. And I don't want to loss what we have built, I love the family we have created. But truthfully I'm nervous and scared to see him as well but I want answers and I hope to get them. I never once looked at him in court so as much as I got justice I didn't face him. I didn't confront him. I'm strong enough now to do that. Not just for me but for her. That 13 year old scared child who is still inside me. I want to let her go, I need to let her go so we can both be free." Kim looked up to see Adam in tears. They needed this they just didn't know it then.
"Kim you ate not selfish at all. Now I understand you better and why you want to do this. I Willa,ways support you, even if I do t agree with you decision but now I understand why and it makes complete sense to me. So today we get freedom for you both. You deserve it but so does she. Afterwards we move on and never dwell on it again. Just you, me and our crazy, amazing kids. But I also want you to a.ways remember that I love you and always will. You are my other half, my missing piece, my perfect fit. Together we can and will conquer the world." Adam continued to hold her tight in his side knowing they both just needed contact at this point.
"I think this is good progress for you both. I see the solid connection you have together and I know this is what will keep you two solid going forward. But remember to communicate, explain your thoughts and feelings so you can better understand where the other is coming from. You will not always agree but you still need to communicate. You will never fully move on from this, you can't erase it but you are on the right path to being healed. I think for the first time since we met I think you will finally be free." Dr Charles was impressed by the couple in front of him. They continued to talk through the end the session time about how they feel about the future and where they see themselves. It was a truly important conversation of things they never discussed before.
When they left they headed towards the support group. There was a park close by so they walked over to take a short walk. Adam found a tree that looked perfect for sitting under. "Kim look, it's perfect. Remember that day in the park before this all happened. We had a picnic and laid under a tree." Adam watched as Kim smiled and started to walk closer. He sat down in front of the tree and took her into his arms, holding her tight. She laid her head back on his shoulder and let the sun shine on her face. "God I love this. I used to dream of that day when I was drunk or high. Part of the reason I love being that way. I could live in your world and I was safe. But when I was sober the nightmares felt so real. Like it was happening all over again. I didn't know how to stop it except for being wasted. But this was one of my favorite dreams." Kim mused as she stayed in his arms.
"I hate to hear that but I'm happy to hear you were able to dream of me sometimes. I dreamed of you a lot as well. It brought me peace when things were so crazy. I had you in my dreams every night. It gave me hope. As time went on the dreams faded but that day I saw you again they all came back. I'm so happy we are here now. So happy we found our way home to each other. You are where I'm happiest. I love you so much!" Adam whispered into her ear. "I love you too baby!" Kim whispered back as she held onto his arms. They stayed in the sun till it was time for the support group to start. They walked hand in hand to the church where the group was meeting. Kim only went on the anniversary anymore but it used to be a twice weekly meeting for her. It was how she found help the first time around. It was the only place where people actually understood her because they lived it too.
The couple found two chairs to sit in, still hand in hand. Adam was overly nervous about what he was going to hear over the next hour. Hearing it as a cop was one thing but this was personal and effected him differently. Kim could tell he was nervous but just squeezed his hand to try and calm him. As the meeting started people took the stage speaking of what happened to them and how they healed. Adam felt sick the entire time listening to people's stories wondering how anyone could hurt a child let alone one you supposedly loved. He had tears in his eyes and so did Kim. He was almost shocked when she stood up to speak in front of everyone. He had no clue she actually spoke at these. He thought she just came for the support after all this time.
"Hello I'm Kim. Today is the 13th anniversary of my rape, I was 13 years old. I had been begging my mom for months to stop going to dance classes but she never let up and unfortunately my dance teacher is the one who raped me. I turned everyone away including my boyfriend. I used drugs and alcohol to cope till I was arrested for being passed out drunk in public. But I came here after that and got the help I needed, the support of people who understood me. Because of this place I went to college, I have a daughter, a job I love helping people and I found my way back to my love. For anyone here who is new and struggling I promise you gets better every day but you have to want it. You have to fight for it because life is worth living and living right. I just wanted to thank you for helping me to get here today because I wouldn't have been here with you." Kim left the stage in tears and headed right to the counselors who she had known for years. She hugged them both before heading back to Adam who waiting with open arms.
When the session ended Adam waited for Kim towards the back of the room. He watched as she spoke with young girls who he assumed were just like her. He watched them shed tears and hug. He couldn't help but smile. She stayed for awhile talking to other survivors till Adam tapped her shoulder, they needed to leave for their next stop. He promised he would come with again soon so she could reach out to more girls who were in her shoes. The car ride brought back the original nerves and quietness. It was almost eerie but the heaviness of the situation was clear in their minds. What if this went bad, what if she didn't get answers? Too many questions swirled in her head. Both waited with baited breath to see what happened next.
Going to the jail this time was much different. Normally they are there to talk to a criminal or transport them. But this was personal, no badges, no guns. Just them. They signed in and were frisked making sure they had no weapons or drugs for the inmates. They were brought into a room with round tables and told to wait. Adam stood behind Kim rubbing her shoulders as they passed the time. When the man finally entered the room in his orange jumpsuit, his hands and feet shackled, he watched her trying to place her before it dawned on him. "Kimberly. After all these years you finally came back to me!" He tried to go to her but the gourds sat him down and stayed close. "No I didn't. I came for answers. I want to know why? Why you did this to me? Why did you rape me?" Kim was trying to stay calm, Adams hands on her shoulders helping that.
"Oh baby girl! I didn't rape you. I love you, I always have. I made you feel my love. That's not rape." His voice was smooth and soft like he expected her to give in. "One I'm not your baby girl. Second that's not love, I never loved you. I wanted to get away from you. I begged to quit your classes. You stalked me too. You are a rapist, a pedophile, a stalker, you're sick! I came here for answers but you are going to listen to me. Because of you my life has been a mess. I didn't know how to trust people, how to love someone, how to intimate without being afraid if getting raped again. You stole 13 years of my life and I hate you, I will always hate you for what you did. You don't deserve to be in that cell, you deserve to be 6 feet under. But today I take back my life, I take back my control. You no longer have power over me because I found my healing power within me. You will never harm another child or me ever again and I take solitude in that. Goodbye you sick piece of shit. I hope you rot in hell." Kim stood up and moved towards the door. She only turned briefly when she heard a commotion behind her. He had flipped the table and tried to run after her but the guards held him back. He screamed at her but she didn't hear a word of it she was to caught up in the beaming smile on Adams face.
"I gotta admit that momma bear show got me hot and bothered!" Adam laughed as he kissed her softly. "Me too but I'm hungry. How about a picnic in the park, against our favorite tree?" Kim asked knowing he wouldn't be able to say no. "Absolutely darling! Lead the way!" Adam followed her back to the car, he was dam proud of her. He sent a brief message to their friends and family letting them know how it went before driving to a deli to get sandwiches and drinks for their picnic. At the deli they decided to get a salad and a sandwich just like they had the first time. Kim grabbed some fruit and drinks as well while they waited for the food. Adam snuck a picture of Kim who looked relaxed and full of joy. He sent it out without thinking knowing everyone was waiting for the shit storm that followed today.
When the food was ready they paid and headed off to their tree, the place that had brought them so much joy and happiness as kids. It was obviously much larger now but worked just the same. Adam has grabbed a blanket from the car for them to rest on while they ate. It was a beautiful day, perfect for being outside. But the world just seemed brighter somehow. As the couple ate they exchanged glances that showed how happy they were. How relax they were after everything that happened earlier. But for Kim the pure giddiness was showing all over. The excitement of this new life now that she was free from the past, free to live life to her fullest. She just couldn't wait to see where this would lead. Without fear holding her back in personal life how would that change things? She was excited to find out that was one thing she was certain of. For the first time ever she wasn't second guessing taking Adam to their bedroom to play. She in fact wanted to rush through lunch but she wouldn't since this was just too beautiful a moment to rush. They had all the time in the world.
The couple stayed under the tree wrapped together long after the food and drinks had been finished. "I think we should take some photos together to document this monumental day. Then maybe post a then and now photo. Preferably one with the tree just like now." Kim suggested as she took out her phone. "Love it! It's the perfect thing to do today." Adam started to take photos using Kim's phone since his arms were longer. They took some serious photos, some goofy faces photos and some with them kissing each other. But most importantly they posed leaning back resting on the tree trying to recreate that moment in time. Once they were satisfied with the photos they each made a post online.
"Today is the first day if the rest of our lives. Thank you for helping me on this journey. I love you Adam you are the love of my life." Kim made sure to tag Adam in the post. Adam turned around posting the same two photos with his own caption. "To the love my life. So happy to be on this journey called life with you. Can't wait to see where this journey lands next." Adam set his phone next to them and pressed a kiss on top of her head. "Let's head home baby. I think you have a present coming to you for being so supportive. Are you ready?" Kim asked looking back towards Adam. "Hell ya! Let's get going!" Adam said with a laugh. They headed to the car after packing up their stuff. As they headed home they both stole glances at each other. Both full of excitement for what was to come. But also nervousness since the deal was Kim had to take control. Adam was very curious as to how this would go and Kim was just nervous since she had never done this before but knew it would be perfect since it involved Adam. "We are home darling!" Adam whispered in her ear before running his fingers up and down her side. "Let's head in." Kim whispered back as she got out of the car to head in.