Half a dozen SECT agents sat apprehensively, holding their guns with increasingly tight grips with every bump the truck hit on the road. It was understandable that they would be afraid, considering who they were being asked to transport. One of the soldiers nervously shot a sideways glance to the prisoners in the front of the armored vehicles –
And jumped slightly when Cetanu hissed in his direction.
It was only yesterday when the Daughter of Vilgax had been defeated by the Tennysons after returning from their trip in space. Cetanu had been trounced just as easily as her father did after Ben introduced his new alien – a blasted To'kustar of all things! Now here she was, arms and legs bound together by strongest cuffs SECT could find, her arms, legs, torso and neck chained to the wall behind her, and all her weapons and armor had been confiscated, leaving her virtually naked. She only counted her blessings that the humans left her helmet or she would have choked on the planets insufficient atmosphere.
One of the guards picked up a radio and said, "Control, this is Transport Unit 1. We've just cleared checkpoint three. ETA twenty minutes."
"Keep your heads up, unit one," Lt. Steel voice crackled over the radio. "That thing is classified as a level-four hostile. According to intelligence, she's the right-hand of Vilgax, a level-five hostile. Don't take your eyes off her for a second."
"Roger that, control, over," said the soldier.
"You're all going to die," Cetanu promised them in a slow and menacing voice. "Once I break free, I will take pleasure in ripping out your spines and hanging them like trophies."
"You're not going anywhere, freak," said the soldier confidently.
"My pet would disagree," said Cetanu cryptically.
"Pet? What pet?"
If she had the capacity to, Cetanu would be smiling wickedly.
A few seconds later, the truck comes to a sudden screeching halt. The soldiers are thrown out of their seats, slamming against the wall with startled cries. The soldiers picked themselves and their weapons up as one of them pounded their fist on the wall furiously.
"Hey, the big idea!" the soldier yelled. "You trying to kill us or something – "
His enraged yells were cut short when a bladed tail punctured through the steel wall, stabbing through his chest and coming out the other side, covering in the soldiers blood. The remaining men jumped back, yelling in fright, fumbling with their guns, when the blade swiped down and, almost miraculously, struck the cuffs on Cetanu's wrists. The metal broke as easily as if it were made of glass, setting the Yautja warrior free.
The bladed tail retracted itself, dropping the dead soldier, as Cetanu went to work breaking herself loose. First she grabbed the chains and gave them a sharp tug, snapping the links and scattering them on the floor. Then she grabbed the bindings on her ankles with both hands and visibly strained to break them, but break them she did. Cetanu rose to her full, imposing height, having to bend her head when it hit the roof, and glared at the soldiers who had been too terrified to take a single shot. When one of them finally got their wits about them, Cenatu lunged –
Her Xenomorph hound lurked around the truck after disposing of the guards outside, tilting its head curiously as it watched the vehicle sway back and forth. It could hear the terrified screams of the soldiers inside for a full minute before they suddenly stopped. A few moments of tense silence passed before the door to the back of the truck creaked open. Cetanu hopped out of the vehicle, shutting the door behind her and covered in large splattered of fresh blood. The Xenomorph curled around her leg like an overgrown kitten and the Yautja warrior petted its long head.
"Good work, my pet," Cetanu complimented. "Once I've recovered my armor and weapons, the first thing I will do is hunt down the ones who sent my father away – the Tennysons."
After a harrowing four days traveling through space, breaking out of prison, hunting down Azmuth, battling Vilgax and Fina, and stopping the universe from exploding, the Tennysons really needed a break. Fortunately, the happened to be near Aron City, Washington, which was said to have one of the nicest beaches in all of America. What better way to enjoy not dying than a day at the beach?
Gwen let out a relaxed sigh as she leaned back in her beach chair, flipping through the pages of "The Compendium to Level One Magic." She was nearing the end of the book, which meant she would need to call Charmcaster about the next volume very soon. Trixie was in the beach chair next to her, tapping away at her computer like always. Ever since she got back, Trixie had become more obsessed with finalizing the blueprints for her "Secret project." Apparently, meeting Azmuth again filled her with a desire to surpass him, hence the "secret project." Gwen shook her head; only Trixie would bring work to a beach vacation.
"Ahh, it's so nice to get a little peace and quiet so I can catch up on my summer reading," said Gwen contently. "Although I can't help feeling it's a little too quiet…. Wait, where's Ben?"
"He went scuba diving with Maxwell," Trixie answered plainly, her eyes never leaving the laptop. "They said they'd be gone for several hours."
"Great," said Gwen sarcastically. "I can imagine Ben going alien to scare away the locals, maybe even uncover a deadly sea monster because he did something stupid."
"Not this time," said Trixie, much to Gwen confusion. The green-haired girl reached into the cooler between them, pulled something out, and set it on top. Gwen's eyes went wide when she realized it was the Omnitrix – sans her doofus cousin. "He won't go causing trouble without this."
"You took off the watch?" Gwen gasped. "How?"
"I saw how Azmuth removed the Omnitrix on Xenon," Trixie explained. "Since the only people who have access to it are Azmuth and myself, I decided to commit it to memory."
"Now you can take it off whenever he starts being a dweeb," said Gwen excitedly.
"I'm not going to abuse my authority like that," said Trixie, shaking her head disapprovingly. "I only took it off in this instance because Maxwell asked me to. If there was ever a situation where we are attacked by an enemy and Ben does not have the Omnitrix, he could get hurt – or worse."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Gwen admitted, frowning. A few moments of silence passed before Gwen closed her book and turning in her seat, facing Trixie. "You know, now that I think about it, this is the first time all summer we've hanged out, just the two of us."
"…Huh, you're right," said Trixie interestingly, closing her laptop and turning to Gwen. "I guess I'm so busy trying to keep Benjamin from doing something stupid, we never really spent any time together."
"Well, let's change that!" said Gwen, clapping her hands eagerly. "What do you want to do?"
Trixie opened her mouth…but nothing came out. Personally, Trixie was fine with just working on her "secret project" – she was on the verge of discovering how to mix different sequences of alien DNA in a beneficial way without the drawbacks. But Trixie doubted Gwen was interested in her science mumbo-jumbo.
On the opposite side, Gwen was fairing no better. Her initial suggestion would be to help her practice magic – she had just learned a spell that would allow her to create personal minions made of rocks that can work independently of her will. But then she remembered Trixie's fear of all things magic and dropped the idea.
They didn't realize it until now, but despite having the same face, they didn't have anything in common.
While the girls contemplated what they were going to do, today's guest star walked on by without ever noticing them.
His name was Bravo – Johnny Bravo, a self-proclaimed 'ladies' man.' And if you didn't know him, you would think he was the type of man that women would fall over for with his muscular build, gelled up blonde pompadour, and stylish black glasses. The problem, however, started when he opened his mouth –
For example, Johnny was walking along the beach like he owned the place when he noticed a beautiful redheaded woman making a sand castle with a little redhead girl who was most likely her daughter. Johnny used his inexplicable superpower to zip across the beach faster than Fasttrack, stopping in front of the woman while also uncaringly destroying their sand castle; the little girl cried as her masterpiece was ruined.
"Hey there, foxy momma," said Johnny confidently, making an effort to flex his muscles to show how beefy he is. "What d'you say we ditch the brat and go for a little dip, if you know what I mean?"
The woman, for obvious reasons, was not taken by Johnny's less than subtle pickup lines. In the blink of an eye, she grabbed him by the arm and flipped the beefy buffoon over her shoulder, pile driving him into the sand so that only his legs were sticking out. The woman grabbed her daughter's hand and they walked away in a huff. Johnny Bravo kicked and flailed his legs until he managed to pull himself out, spitting out a waterfall of sand that inexplicable molded into a perfect castle with a tiny flag on top.
"Oh yeah, she digs me," Johnny said confidently to the reader, breaching the fourth wall casually. At that moment, he took notice of young lady in a very small bikini walk past him and shot up. "Hold on there, pretty lady!"
Meanwhile, Gwen and Trixie had watched the entire thing from a distance; the latter made a disgusted expression.
"Ugh, I can't believe people like him actually exist," Gwen grimaced, shaking her head. "That's the kind of shallow, chauvinistic meathead you only see in cartoons from the nineties."
"Unlike the cartoons of today," Trixie commented, "where studios insert forced sexual representation and unnecessary racial changes to pander to the 'woke' community who whine about every little thing, no matter how minor or pointless."
"Thigs were so much simpler back then," Gwen sighed despairingly. "Not that I would know, since I'm only ten years old."
"How did this topic even start in the first place?" questioned Trixie. "Anyway, you were saying something?"
"Well…I was thinking maybe we could do something together like…uh…," said Gwen, stammering while thinking of how to finish the sentence. "I don't know – maybe play some volleyball or something."
"The most exercise I've ever done was on that Aeon-forsaken farm," said Trixie with a grimace. She held up her right hand, slowly molding it to resemble an Appoplexian fist. "Unless I can use my alien transformations – "
"Nope! No! Definitely not!" Gwen said sharply, flailing her arms in rejection. Trixie reverted her hand to normal, frowning. "I'm not taking a Rath spike to the face. All right, if volleyball isn't an option, then what would you like to do?"
"There's a documentary on the mating cycles of mollusks I was hoping to watch," said Trixie excitedly, holding up her laptop while ignorant to the dry look Gwen was giving her. "Maybe we can watch it together."
"I can't believe I'm saying this," said Gwen exasperatedly, "but you're an even bigger geek than I am."
"Then I seems we can't agree on anything," said Trixie, frowning as she set her laptop aside.
"So…what're we supposed to do?" asked Gwen apprehensively.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective), they were spared from agonizing over decisions when they heard a cacophony of frightened screams coming down the beach. Trixie and Gwen shot up from their seats, immediately jumping out of the way before they were bowled over by a stampeded of terrified beach goers. The girls looked in the direction they were coming from and realized that they were running away from the large Xenomorph that had suddenly decided to crash the party. It whipped its bladed tail around, knocking over beach chairs and umbrellas, while spitting in their direction.
"Isn't that…?" Gwen gasped.
"A Xenomorph," Trixie scowled. "Which means that Yautja hunter, Cetanu, must be close by."
"Should we go find Ben and grandpa?" questioned Gwen as she watched the alien hound scavenge through abandoned bags and coolers, appearing to be looking for something.
"They're miles out in the middle of the ocean," said Trixie. "By the time we find them, they'll have attacked half the people on the beach."
"Then I cause we're on our own," said Gwen, screwing up her face with determination as she filled her hand with magic.
"Accessing Aerophibian and Citrakayah sequence!" Trixie announced, replacing her skin with blue fur with a horn growing from her forehead and wings appearing under her arms.
Trixie launched herself forward, gliding a foot off the ground and diving toward the Xenomorph. But in spite of her impressive speed, the Xenomorph whipped around and slapped Trixie across the face with its tail, sending her sliding through the sand. The Slimebiot girl picked herself up, coughing up some sand, then looked over her shoulder and rolled out of the way just in time before the Xenomorph stabbed its tail where she had just been. Trixie glared and shot her neuro-lasers at the side of the Xenomorph's head, but the alien hound shook it off. The beast quickly coiled its tail around Trixie's leg, lifted her off the ground, and tossed her across the beach.
Trixie spiraled uncontrollably through the air and smashed through a lifeguard station, coming out on the other side and plopping on the shore. What she didn't notice was that there were two children taking shelter from the Xenomorph underneath the station. And thanks to Trixie, the building collapsed on top of them –
"Speerius Expectorium!' Gwen chanted, throwing her hands out quickly.
She only just made it in time as a massive whirlwind suddenly kicked up around the children, catching the station before it dropped. But the best she could do was keep it aloft and her strength was quickly giving out under the weight of the station. Fortunately, Trixie recovered from her flight and spotted the children through the sandy haze. She zipped inside at rapid speed, picked up the children, and carried them to safety on the opposite side of the beach. Gwen exhaled a relieved sigh and let the spell go, dropping the station to the ground where it splintered into a pile of kindling.
"Are you all right?" Trixie asked after setting the children down on their feet.
"Y-Yeah," the boy stuttered, looking at Trixie with big, mystified eyes. That was to be expected; Trixie did look like a weird alien hybrid, after all.
"Look out!" the girl squealed, pointing over Trixie's shoulder.
But the warning came too late. The Xenomorph snuck up behind Trixie and pierced her through the back with its bladed tail, exploding through her chest and splattering the children in green goo. Naturally, the kids screamed and ran away crying for their mother. Trixie would have been afraid as well, but since learning about her Slimebiot origins, she wasn't particularly afraid of being stabbed, knowing that she could just regenerate herself. That didn't make it hurt any less, though.
Trixie grabbed the tail before the Xenomorph could retract it, holding the beats in place. Not the smartest thing considering the Xenomorph was physically stronger than her and effortlessly picked Trixie up off the ground, spinning her around in circles before snapping its tail and flicking her away. Trixie landed in the volleyball courts, groaning as she slid across the sand and bumped her head against the metal pole.
"You know, I'm real sick of being tossed around like a ragdoll," Trixie grumbled.
The hybridized girl craned her head and rolled out of the way quickly as the Xenomorph dived out her –
And while the girls were fighting for their lives, the self-proclaimed "stud muffin" Johnny Bravo thought he could make a pass as a blonde woman trying to run away, quickly catching her and making some "running through my mind all day" comment. As per his track record, the woman was not only unimpressive by Johnny's awful flirtation techniques, but she kneed him in the groin and jujitsu flipped him across the beach.
It was pure coincidence that he happened to land in front of Gwen and Trixie's beach chairs.
"So I'll call you later?" Johnny called back to the woman, who had already marched off. "Yeah, she'll call me."
The dimwitted beefcake picked himself off and brushed the sand off his mighty pecs when he noticed something glinting in the corner of his eye. Johnny looked around and spotted the Omnitrix sitting abandoned on the cooler between the seats.
"Hey, cool watch!" said Johnny with the enthusiasm of a child finding candy in the sandbox. He didn't even stop to consider that it might belong to someone else as he snatched up the universe's most powerful weapon and slapped it on his arm, bonding it to his genetic structure. "Ooh, tingly."
Back with the fight, Trixie grabbed the Xenomorph as it lunged its head at her, struggling to hold it back. The alien hunting animal hissed and snapped its extra set of teeth at Trixie, just coming up short by a few inches. Trixie could feel her arms ready to give out any moment when she heard a familiar chant and noticed the volleyball net being magically ripped off the poles. The net was thrown on the Xenomorph, entangling the alien until it was trapped in a little ball and thrown away.
The Xenomorph hissed and spit as Trixie sat up, taking a moment to catch her breath. Gwen walked up to her a moment later and offered her a hand.
"Thanks for the save," said Trixie gratefully, allowing herself to be pulled up to her feet.
"No problem," said Gwen. "Now what do we do with – "
A series of sharp snapping noises cut her off, making Gwen and Trixie return their attention to the Xenomorph. The alien hunting hound used its bladed tail to cut the cut open and set itself free, as they should have expected. The Xenomorph hissed at them again, but instead of resuming the fight, the monster turned tail and ran towards the water, diving into the ocean before either girl had a chance to stop them. Gwen and Trixie walked over to the shore and waited for a full minute, but the Xenomorph never surface.
"Looks like it's gone," said Trixie, depowering to her human form.
"For now," said Gwen, grimacing. "But that was definitely Cetanu's pet, wasn't it? We haven't seen her since we busted her and Animo's freaky mutant world plan in Florida."
"Well, the good news is that she and Animo aren't working together anymore since they broke up," said Trixie as she and Gwen started walking back to their chairs. "And it's unlikely that Vilgax has returned so soon after Benjamin tossed him into space."
"Ah, guess that's the end of our fun day at the beach," Gwen sighed disappointedly.
"Nothing we can do about it," said Trixie as they arrived at their beach chairs and she reached for the cooler. "Let's get the Omnitrix back to Benjamin and – "
Trixie suddenly cut herself off, eyes going wide. She felt the surface of the cooler where she left the Omnitrix…but she couldn't feel the device itself. When the green-haired girl looked down, the horrible realization struck her: the Omnitrix was missing!
"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Trixie yelped, looking around and inside the cooler desperately. "This can't be happening! This can't be happening!"
"What? What's wrong?" asked Gwen, frightened by Trixie's suddenly panicked state.
"The Omnitrix is gone!" Trixie shrieked.
"WHAT?!"
"It's gone – it's actually gone!" Trixie repeated.
"You set it right there, didn't you?" said Gwen.
"Yeah, before the Xenomorph….," Trixie started to say, before she suddenly paused, now looking more worried than before. "Oh no, you don't think Cetanu took it while we were distracted, do you?"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," said Gwen. "Maybe….maybe you just dropped it somewhere. Let's spread out and start look around for it. You search up the beach and I'll check down."
It was better than nothing, Trixie supposed. Agreeing to meet up in half an hour, Gwen and Trixie pivoted on their heels and ran in the opposite direction.
Unfortunately, Gwen was unaware that she ran right by the Omnitrix without even noticing.
Johnny was poking at his new 'watch' like a curious monkey with a new toy (of course, the monkey would have been way smarter.) He frowned and tapped the faceplate with his finger, then shook his entire arm with a cartoonish rattling noise.
"Stupid watch must be broken," said Johnny. "Can tell the time on this thing."
It was only by pure accident that Johnny pressed the activation switch on the side of the Omnitrix, raising the dial. The icon showed a silhouette of an alien, not that Johnny would recognize any of them.
"Ooh, watch-y," said Johnny dimly. "Wonder what this buttons does."
He pushed the dial down and exploded in a flash of green light. A moment later, a muscular Appoplexian appeared in the buffoon's place, but he retained his signature black sunglasses and his blonde pompadour remained prominent his furry head. Any normal man would be understandably freaked out after realizing they had transformed into a tiger monster in the blink of an eye, but Johnny –
"Hey, who took my watch?" he complained after finding his (now) fuzzy arm bare.
Didn't even seem to notice.
But any thoughts on the Omnitrix's disappearance were quickly pushed away from his (tiny) mind when he spotted three bikini-clad women hanging around the beach bar, laughing at something over drinks. The people of Aron city were surprisingly resilient and already returning to the beach only minutes after the Xenomorph escaped. The tigerfied Johnny zeroed in on the ladies and zipped over faster than an Appoplexian should be capable of. The women looked up as Johnny appeared at the bar and started flexing his muscles.
"Hey there, ladies," said Johnny confidently. "Say, is it hot around here or is it just me?"
He stole one of the ice cubes from their drinks and let it on his pecs, which instantly evaporated with a short hiss. How that was even logically possible was unknown to most scientists. But perhaps the greatest mystery of all…was that the ladies seemed to like it. Instead of beating him black and blue as they would on a normal day, the women giggled like schoolgirls. All three of them huddled up to Johnny, pressing themselves up against his big, muscular body.
"Hey there, cutie kitty, where've you been hiding?" one of the women giggled.
"Wanna come hang out with us?" asked a second woman.
"We need a fourth for beach volleyball," the third woman smiled.
"Wow, this new cologne really works," said Johnny proudly, wrapping his muscular arms around the three ladies and leading them away from the bar. "Say, you ladies know how to do the Monkey?"
As Appoplexian Johnny and the ladies walked away from the bar one side, Gwen ran in from the opposite side (and was promptly kicked to the curb for being underage,) just barely missing Johnny by seconds.
Thus begins the montage of near misses for Gwen and Trixie –
Thinking she may have dropped the Omnitrix in the sand during the fight, Trixie transformed her arms into Loboan claws and dug her way underground, digging a deep hole. A moment later, Appoplexian Johnny drove a dune buggy over with five woman sitting around him, covering the hole and burying Trixie. The green-haired girl popped her head out a few seconds later, spitting out a fountain of sand.
Gwen grabbed some snorkeling gear and dived into the ocean, assuming the Omnitrix had been knocked in the water. If she had just waited a few second longer, she would have seen Appoplexian Johnny surfing a major wave, carrying seven women on his biceps like a pyramid. But she completely missed them, and by the time Gwen came back up, they had already returned to the beach.
Appoplexian Johnny was playing beach volleyball alone against five muscular men, all who were clearly jealous of the growing fanfare of ladies cheering for the space cat. The men tried valiantly to send the ball over, but Johnny returned it with a killer spike that broke the sound barrier. At the same time, Trixie had been searching through a barrel being used for a garbage can when the volleyball hit the side, causing a loud ranging noise that reverberated in Trixie's skull and temporarily stunned her.
Sometime later, Johnny invited everyone on the beach to "do the monkey" – a cringy outdated dance that no one with any self-respect would do. Sadly, self-respect seemed sorely lacking in this city as the Appoplexian was suddenly surrounded by dozens of men and woman following along. Gwen happened to be passing by at the time and watched the impromptu flash mob with disturbed grimace. She immediately walked away, unable to see Johnny amid the sea of bodies.
"Any luck?" Trixie asked Gwen when they met up an hour later in front of an ice cream cart, panting.
"Nothing," said Gwen, shaking her head. "You don't think Cetanu really did take the Omnitrix, do you?"
"If she did, Benjamin will never let me hear the end of it," Trixie groaned
"Maybe it's not as bad as we think," said Gwen, trying to be optimistic even though her face said otherwise. "Maybe…I don't know, someone took the Omnitrix by mistake."
"They surely would've activated it by now and come running back for help," Trixie pointed out. "I mean, surely no one is dumb enough to have transformed into a completely different species and not notice."
"Excuse me, little ladies," said Johnny as he casually sauntered between them.
…
…
…
Gwen and Trixie blinked slowly turned their heads to the left. No, they weren't imagining it. That was Rath walking up to the ice cream vendor with a blonde pompadour wearing sunglasses. As he walked up to the cart, he started spinning around a striking various poses for reasons beyond the girls' understanding, then leaned on the cart, causing it to tilt to one side.
"Hey there, my good man," said Johnny, giving the vendor the finger gun. "You got anything cool for a hot stud like me?"
He punctured the statement with even more poses.
"Wow, you're so awesome!" said the vendor in a geeky, nasally voice. He opened the lid and pulled out a literal mountain of ice cream, offering it to the Appoplexian. "Here, take everything! On the house!"
"Sweet!" Johnny cheered, then turned around and shouted, "Hey, everybody, ice cream of yours truly!"
Gwen and Trixie nearly jumped out of their skin when a cacophony of cheers exploded behind them. Dozens of beachgoers had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, shouting praises as Johnny tossed ice cream into the air like he was in a parade. The scene before them was so absurd that they stared openmouthed for several long moments.
"…Uh, Trixie…," Gwen spoke up slowly, "What am I look at?"
"My brain is currently experiencing a critical error at the moment," said Trixie with a dumbfounded expression. She quickly shook her head. "At least we know where the Omnitrix went. But who is he, and how long has he been in that form?"
"Wait…," said Gwen, narrowing her gaze. "I recognize that goofy outdated hair! That's the meathead who was hitting on that lady earlier!"
"Should we be concerned that human women find a furry alien more attractive than a muscular man?" asked Trixie, suddenly feeling disturbingly uncomfortable.
"Let's not think about it," said Gwen, grimacing. "Let's just get the watch off him before something else goes wrong – "
"Gwendolyn, no!" Trixie screamed.
In the midst of the crowd surrounding Johnny, a silver sphere rolled between their legs, coming to a stop at Johnny's feet. The sphere beeped twice – unheard by the screaming crowd – then exploded in a cloud of black smoke. Shrieks of praise quickly changed to fear as the beachgoers immediately dispersed, all of them running toward Gwen and Trixie for some reason. Gwen grabbed her friend by the shoulder and pushed them out of the way before they were crushed underneath the stampede.
Meanwhile, Johnny was spinning around clueless in the smoke.
"Hey, where'd everybody go?" said Johnny. "Doncha wanna see me juggle with my pecs – AAH!"
The Appoplexian meathead suddenly fell forward with a high-pitched scream as a metal net suddenly wrapped around him. Johnny lifted his face out of the sand, shaking it out of his hair, and looked up as he felt someone step on him (and not in the fun way.) Cetanu hissed quietly underneath her mask as she glared at her quarry, her Xenomorph hound slithering behind her.
"Tennyson…," Cetanu spat viciously. "Your arrogance knows no bounds. Transforming in plain view for all to see?" She flashed her wrist blade dangerously. "I will take great pleasure ripping you apart as painfully and slowly as possible. You will pay for what you did to my father."
"Oh, so that's how it is, huh?" said Johnny, suddenly smiling in a creepy way. "If you like, you can call me daddy, too?"
"…Oh…oh, by the Black Warrior…," said Cetanu, stepping away from Johnny in revulsion. "Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick."
"You mean love sick?" said Johnny, literally purring. "If you want, I could give you a physical."
Cetanu spun around, leaning against her knees, and made a lot of gagging noises like she was trying to stop herself from vomiting.
"Just…just take him…," Cetanu groaned to her hounds. The Xenomorph coiled his tail around Johnny's take and started dragging him toward the shoreline.
"You okay?" Gwen asked Trixie, helping her up.
"I'll be fine," said Trixie. "Where's the Omnitrix?"
She and Gwen looked around for a moment, then the redhead pasted and pointed with a loud, "Over there!"
They watched as the Appopplexian meathead was carried out to see, floating like a log on the water with the Xenomorph pulling him and Cetanu standing on his broad chest (though she looked like she wished to be anywhere else.)
"It's Cetanu!" cried Gwen. "And she's taking the meathead!"
"Are you just going to call him that for the rest of the day?" Trixie asked curiously.
"It seems appropriate," said Gwen, shrugging nonchalantly.
"Well, meathead or not, that man is in trouble," said Trixie. "And if Cetanu realizes that it's not Benjamin wearing the Omnitrix, I worry what she may do to him…."
Somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, a large tanker sat tilted on an outcrop of rocks, appearing unrealistically pristine despite the conditions. The Xenomorph lugged its master and prisoner (the latter was having his mouth shut by the former's foot) though a sizeable opening in the bottom of the ship. The hole lead into the storage area of the ship, which had been mostly cleared out with the exception of the raised platform in the middle. Upon the platform was a large containment cell connected to a mess of machines, wires, and test tubes, all of which was covered in a thin layer of dust. This place had not been used in a long while.
Cetanu hopped onto the platform and the Xenomorph crawled up the side, dragging Johnny behind it. The Yaujta huntress brushed the dust off the machine, examining it.
"Fortunately, Aloysius disclosed the location of all his hidden laboratories," said Cetanu, brushing the monitor and keyboard clean. As she looked at her reflection, her tone became somewhat wistful. "For as annoyingly clingy as he was, he was…good company."
The Xenomorph chittered, making the Yautja huntress reel back like she had been punched in the face.
"Miss him? I don't miss him!" Cetanu sputtered a little too quickly. "I mean, sure, I was…fond of him towards the end…. And we was rather brilliant, the way he manipulated the genetic order of things…. And that little twinkle in his eye whenever he wanted to show off his latest invention to me…. But that doesn't mean I miss him! Not one bit!"
The Xenomorph chittered again.
"Oh, what do you know – you're a pet!" Cetanu snapped; the Xenomorph shook its head exasperatedly. "Whatever! Just put Tennyson in the pod!"
The Yautja huntress pressed a button on the controls, opening the container. The Xenomorph flicked its tail, throwing Johnny inside (and somehow whipping off the steel net at the same time.) Johnny slammed inside, upside down, landing on his head with a grunt, as Cetanu closed the pod. The Appoplexian meathead whipped up to his feet, looking down at Cetanu as the huntress approached the glass.
"This DNA Splicer Animo created will tear you apart, molecule by molecule," said Cetanu threateningly. "And when you are nothing more than a pile of mutilated flesh and bone, I shall return to my father and present him with – "
"Yeah, yeah, that's nice," said Johnny uncaringly, and suddenly started flexing, catching Cetanu off-guard. "Say, why don't we go back to my place and learn the watusi?"
"…I don't know why, but you irritate me more than usual," Cetanu remarked.
"So is that a 'maybe?'" said Johnny, quirking his brow in a would-be alluring glance.
Cetanu stared at him for a moment…then silently pressed a button on the console. Johnny looked around curiously as the machine started powering up with a loud whirring noise. He looked up at the top of the tank, noticing a pronged instrument sparking above in. In the next moment, the Appoplexian himbo let a high-pitched shriek as he was jolted with thousands of volts of electricity –
0
Gwen was nervously attempting to steer the boat she and Trixie "borrowed" from the marina (with a totally understandable note of explanation to the owner that Gwen wrote before leaving.) Trixie was sitting on the bow, staring at her laptop intently as her fingers flew across the keyboard.
"Are you sure we're going the right way?" asked Gwen, struggling to turn the ship's wheel.
"According to GPS satellite navigation," said Trixie, "there's an abandoned oil tanker in the direction Cetanu went. It's the only place within a thousand miles that she could escape to with a hostage in tow."
"And say we find them?" asked Gwen. "Without Ben and grandpa, we're kinda facing an uphill battle here."
"Would you want to be the one to explain to Benjamin how we lost the Omnitrix?" Trixie challenged.
"…Full speed ahead!" shouted Gwen.
"Hmm…you're surprisingly more resilient than expected," Cetanu hummed as she shut the DNA splicer off after the third round of zapping. Appoplexian Johnny wobbled on his feet, smoking coming off his body, but otherwise appeared unhard. "It's almost like there's some kind of…cartoonish force keeping you from being turned into a pile of mush."
"Should you tell her, or should I?" Johnny sked the reader. Cetanu looked in the direction he was facing strangely, lacking Johnny's ability to break the fourth wall.
"I think I need to bring out the bigger tools," Cetanu hummed. "Maybe Aloysius left something a little more hand-on."
Cetanu walked to the opposite end of the platform and started rifling through the numerous devices left behind by Dr. Animo. Johnny watched her for a moment when he heard a scratching noise from below. The Xenomorph was circling the pod, scratching its bladed tail on the glass and hissing at the Appoplexian himbo.
"Wow, you are the ugliest dog I've ever seen," said Johnny offhandedly. "That's the kind of face not even mama would love."
The Xenomorph, who was already hated the Appoplexian, snarled viciously and lunged at the pod, slamming its head and clawing at the glass. Johnny let out another high-pitched shriek and backed away. Cetanu, who had been looking over a strange device that looked like a combination of a buzz saw and a blowtorch, turned around when she heard the ruckus.
"What are you doing?" Cetanu yelled. "Get away from there before you break something!"
At first, the Xenomorph seemingly backed off and slinked away with its tail lowered…until….
"Yeah, that's right, you better run, Fido," said Johnny arrogantly while flexing his muscles, pretending he wasn't just whimpering like a little kitten a moment ago. "You don't want none of this. Run on back to the doghouse – "
That was the last straw. The Xenomorph ignored its master's orders and lunged at the pod again, this time successfully shattering the glass with a headbutt. Cetanu screamed in outrage ("NOOO!") while the Xenomorph stumbled in a daze. Johnny leaned out of the pod, looking around cautiously, and then tried to tiptoe away…. The Xenomorph shook its head out of its stupor and rounded on the Appoplexian himbo, snarling angrily. Johnny screamed like a little girl and started running, quickly pursued by the alien hunting hound.
"No, bad Xenomorph!" Cetanu yelled, chasing after both of them. "Bad! Get back here!"
"There's the ship!" shouted Gwen, pointing ahead as the capsized tanker came into view.
"Good, we managed to make it undetected," said Trixie, leaning over the railing and searching the ship with narrowed eyes. "Now we just need to sneak aboard without causing a ruckus – "
That plan was immediately squashed when a high-pitched shriek rang out from the ship. Gwen and Trixie immediately searched over and witnessed Johnny Bravo, still in his Appoplexian form, breaking open the sealed door like a cartoon and running across the deck, screaming his head off. The Xenomorph emerged from the ship a moment later, skittering like a racing dog, and Cetanu followed shortly after, yelling at her hound.
"…Well, that's convenient," Gwen commented.
"How is he still in that form?" questioned Trixie. "It's been way over ten minutes."
"Never mind that," Gwen shook her head. "We gotta get over there."
"Right," Trixie nodded in agreement. "Accessing Polar Manzardill and Petrosapien sequences!"
After Trixie transformed into a partial crossover of Diamondhead and Arctiguana, she leaned over the railing and exhaled a deep breath of chilling crystal mist. The water not only froze upon being touched by the mist, but they formed into a narrow path of solidified blue crystals. Trixie and Gwen hopped over the side of the side, landing on the path, and pressed forward as Trixie extended the crystalized bridge –
Back on the ship, Johnny had reached the end of the ship and peek over the edge. Once he saw the powerful waves striking against the rocks, he involuntarily shivered and backed away (likely the result of his Appoplexian form.) Johnny turned around when the Xenomorph tackled him to the floor, standing on the tiger-man himbo's chest to pin him down. The Xenomorph hissed savagely in Johnny's face…and the meathead groaned and waved at the air between them.
"Pee-ew, that's stinks," said Johnny. "You should get some mouthwash for those chompers."
Irked for the last time, the Xenomorph reeled itself up to its full height and lunged at Johnny's face…
"Zaphirious Expectorium Perpetua!"
The Xenomorph shrieked as it was suddenly lifted up by a miniature hurricane and thrown across the tanker, flying over Cetanu's head. Johnny sat up, quirking his brow curiously, and looked to the side as Gwen and Trixie climbed over the railing and ran to help him up.
"Don't worry, we're here to help you!" said Gwen.
"Aw, that's cute," said Johnny condescendingly, unnecessarily flexing again. "But Johnny Bravo don't need saving."
"Sir, listen to me," said Trixie seriously. "You are in great danger. I need to remove the Omnitrix and – "
"Oh, I get it," said Johnny with a humor tone. He patted Trixie on the head, much to her irritation. "You're a adorable, little lady, but you need to be eight or over to ride the Johnny."
"…I'm starting to reconsider this whole 'rescue' thing," Trixie told Gwen flatly.
A sharp hissing noise grabs their attention and everyone looks to the other side of the ship. The Xenomorph was running back towards them, spitting angrier than ever. As it lunged towards them, Trixie shoved Johnny in one direction while pulling herself and Gwen towards the other, letting the alien hunting hound fly between them. The Xenomorph bashed its head against the railing, bending the metal slightly, and shaking with an maddened snort.
It round on the heroes (and Johnny) and attempted another lunge. Trixie slammed her fist into the floor, creating a wall of blue crystal between them. The Xenomorph headbutted the silicon wall, but when it pulled away, there was a thin patch of ice on its forehead and hands where they touched the crystals. That was a new one, Trixie thought. Perhaps certain combinations can created mutation effects in their powers. She'll have to remember that for her project….
The Xenomorph skittered around the side of the crystal wall, only to find Gwen waiting for it with her palms glowing with a pink aura.
"Emocha Objectia!" she chanted.
Gwen blasted the alien hunting hound with twin beams of energy, smashing it through the railing and into the ocean. The Xenomorph disappeared beneath the water, but after a few silent moments of waiting, it never came back up.
"…Think it's dead?" asked Gwen uncertainly.
"I wouldn't get my hopes up," said Trixie, frowning.
Just then, Johnny looked to the side and said, "Hey there, jungle babe. Just can't resist ol' Johnny, can you?"
"What?!" Gwen and Trixie sputtered together, first looking at the Appoplexian meathead, and then the direction he was facing.
Cetanu was running at them, howling furiously as she unsheathed her wrist blades to their full length. Gwen shoved Johnny to the ground, narrowly ducking under the razor edge of the blade, while Trixie dived over the railing into the water. Gwen and Johnny looked up as Cetanu stood over them, holding her wrist blades threateningly.
For once, Johnny proved he wasn't an idiot (thought he did scream like a little girl) as he quickly rolled out of the way and started running away with Gwen under his arm. Hey, he may be an egotistical, self-centered jerk, but even he wouldn't let a little kid get hurt. Johnny ran up to one of the ship's cranes and started climbing up the side, not even realizing that his Appoplexion strength was bending the metal (he probably thought he was just super buff.) Unfortunately, Cetanu followed them up, climbing faster due to her nimble body and experience.
"Gwen threw out her hand towards Cetanu and chanted ("Mercuta Verditis!) A bolt of lightning flew out from Gwen's palm, striking the surprised huntress in the helmet, and causing her to falol back down. Cetanu hit the floor with a reverberating thunk, bending the metal to make a small dent. But she quickly brushed it off and returned to her feet.
She was about to chase after them again when a geyser of water exploded off the side of the ship, then suddenly solidified into blue crystals. Trixie appeared at the top of the water crystals, pointing her silicon arms at the huntress.
"I've got you now!" she shouted.
Trixie shot a hailstorm of blue crystals at Cetanu. The daughter of Vilgax's quickly dashed out of the way, running the length of the ship as Trixie pursued her. While she ran, Cetanu pulled out a short stick from her belt and extended it into a spear. She turned swiftly and threw the spear at the crystal tower beneath Trixie's feet, shattering it.
Trixie fell onto the deck with a surprised yelp, landing face down on the floor. The Slimebiot girl groaned, rubbing her head as she started to pick herself up, when a metallic net flew at her from behind and pinned her to the floor. When Trixie attempted to move, the net electrified her and somehow forced her to revert back into her human form. Cetanu approached her slowly (read: smugly), retrieving her spear and standing over her fallen enemy much like her father would.
"Who's got who now?" said Cetanu mockingly, raising her spear with the tip pointed at Trixie. "This works out perfectly. I can bring you and the Omnitrix to my father. Then Aloysius and I shall return to his side once more – "
"Didn't you an Animo break up?" asked Trixie curiously.
"W-Well, I wouldn't say we…broke up," said Cetanu, flustered. "I mean, It – it's not like we were together in the first place or anything. We're just – well, we're taking a break from each other, that's all."
"Huh?" mumbled Trixie interestedly. "Animo said the same thing the other day?"
"Really?" asked Cetanu, sounding surprisingly hopeful. But then she quickly shook her head. "No! You're trying to distract me! Nothing will stop me from claiming my prize!"
Up in the crane controls, Gwen pressed her face against the window and gasped as she looked down, seeing Cetanu about to spear her friend.
"Oh no, Trixie's in trouble!" cried Gwen. She frantically flipped through the pages in her spellbook. "Come on, come on, there's got to be an anti-alien hunter spell in here somewhere!"
On the other hand, Johnny found himself incredibly distracted by a big red button that glinted in the sunlight.
"Ooh, shiny," said Johnny dimwittedly.
Without even thinking, the Appoplexian meathead pushed the button.
And by sheer dumb luck, that button happened to be the release switch for a giant metal container that just happened to be hanging over Cetanu. The Yautja hunted tilted her head back when she noticed the large shadow consuming hers. And before she even had a chance to say 'Ow,' the container slammed on top of her. Trixie blinked dumbfounded at the shipping container with Cetanu's legs poking out from underneath. She was still alive if the pained groaned with anything to go by.
"Johnny, you're a genius!" Gwen cheered after witnessing Cetanu's unpredictable defeat.
"Did someone call me 'pretty?'" said Johnny, who suddenly started flexing again.
"Never mind…," Gwen sighed exasperatedly.
It took them over an hour to collect Cetanu and her hound, tie them up in metal cables, and sail back to shore (with Johnny posing the entire way.) Trixie already made the call to Lt. Steel on the way, so he was already waiting for them on shore with a small convoy of armed soldiers and an armored truck. The soldiers immediately picked up Cetanu and the Xenomorph after Trixie shoved them on the beach; twenty guards encircled the pair with their guns aimed at their heads.
"Thanks for cleaning up our mess," said Lt. Steel gratefully, shaking Trixie's hands. "Don't worry; we've tripled our security detail. She's not getting away this time."
"Just make sure you keep her locked up this time," said Gwen, grimacing.
The Xenomorph was already loaded into the truck and shoved in a metal box in the corner where it had no room to move. Cetanu reluctantly started to climb in when Johnny suddenly zipped up beside her.
"Hey there, baby cakes," said Johnny. "How's about you come over to the Johnny Bravo Penitentiary, where everyone is a prisoner…of love."
"…Just take me away already," Cetanu pleaded to Lt. Steel.
Ever merciful, Lt. Steel shoved the huntress inside and slammed the doors. He and the SECT soldiers loaded over and peeled out, leaving a (regularly) confused Johnny literally eating their dust.
"Speaking of taking away," Trixie chimed in as she and Gwen walked up to Johnny. "Decouple Omnitrix – command code 000 – release coupling – 0."
"Command Accepted! Omnitrix decoupled!"
There was a blinding flash of red light and in the next moment, the normal human Johnny was standing in the place of the Appoplexian while the Omnitrix lay on the sand next to his feet. Trixie immediately retrieved the device while Johnny started rubbing his arms.
"Brr…is there a draft in here?" said Johnny.
"He really didn't notice?" Gwen whispered to Trixie.
"Probably for the best," Trixie murmured back.
"Hey! Gwen, Trixie!" The girls spun around on their heels. Ben was waving them down from the opposite end of the beach, lugging a set of scuba gear with Max. "We're back!"
"How'd things go here?" asked Max. "Anything exciting happen while we were gone?"
Gwen and Trixie exchanged silent glances –
"Nope, nothing special," said Gwen as she and Trixie walked over to meet them halfway.
"Just a normal boring day," Trixie added.
And Johnny was left alone, staring at the reader with a quirked brow. That was, until a bikini-clad woman happened to cross his path.
"Hey there, baby," said Johnny. The woman didn't even waste a moment uppercutting the himbo, flipping him over on his head and walking away. Johnny looked back at the reader with a neutral expression and said, "Yeah, whatever."
This one took a while for me to complete, not because it was difficult, but because I've actually been distracted with another story I've been working on. However, it's over on AO3. So if you feel like reading it and supporting me, just look for my username: Pink_Reef. It would be greatly appreciated.
Next chapter: My Big Fat Alien Wedding