Caroline awoke as the door to her bedchamber burst open, loudly followed by the unmistakably shrill squawks of her sister. She grimaced, rubbing a hand over her bleary eyes. She let out a low groan in frustration. Who on earth had seen fit to allow this crazed fishwife entry to her private rooms without her consent?
Sunlight creeped its way stealthily into the room; peaking through gaps in the heavy green velvet drapes, aching for its daily attention. She knew by the light that the hour was late, but she cared little. She had not arrived in London until the early hours and regardless of her pressing need for sleep, she had taken a long bath and tea with bread and butter before finally falling into the comfort of her own bed. Having been unable to sleep a single moment on her return to London, Caroline had spent most of the journey with Simon, forcing the boy to repeat his tables. If he found the lesson useful, so be it, her main goal had been to elevate her own boredom by distracting her mind from more pressing matters.
With great effort, she sat up against her pillows whilst Louisa busily opened every curtain. Her sister continued to rant and rave with great enthusiasm. Caroline sighed in exasperation, the scene was most unsightly. Louisa all arms flailing and chin wobbling. It was only now, as the initial fog of sleep faded, that Caroline was able to understand what her sister was saying: "What were you thinking...worried myself sick... utterly selfish... dead for all I knew... always thinking you know best... obstinate headstrong girl... I said Mr Hurst I am certain she has done this to spite me... you will never change... not one thought for anyone but yourself...Caroline always knows best... I did not even attend Drury Lane, though everyone was present... Still I..."
"Oh, do be quiet Louisa!" Caroline yelled, pulling her shawl about her shoulders as she settled herself against the support of the headboard. "I cannot understand you, let alone think, when you carry on in such a manner."
Louisa stopped at the foot of her sister's bed. Her eyes were dark rimmed and her complexion pale. "I was worried about you," she replied in a hardened tone. "What on earth possessed you to go running off to Scarborough. What good could come from it? Charles told me you had gone off alongside Mr Montague. Why could you not see fit to let Mr Montague undertake what he has been employed to do? He is a man of the law Caroline, he knows his part. Must you try and control everything? And more importantly why did you not tell me!"
"Tell you? Louisa, what I do is none of your concern. The matter did not concern you, nor would you have been of any use. I did, at the time, what I believed to be for the best. And I would greatly appreciate if you would hold your..."
"Balderdash!" Louisa remarked with gusto. "Balderdash! Caroline the least you could do is not lie openly to my face. You wound me." Here Louisa paused as her lower lip wobbled. "I am your sister, why did you not tell me?"
Caroline's eyes widened in surprise, to what exactly was her sister referring. She felt panic rise in her chest. Lord if Louisa had somehow learned the truth of their mothers past, then all would be lost. The whole of London would know of their circumstance by teatime, they would be ruined. They would never be able to out run their shame.
"Oh Caro, to have such a man as guest in your own home. To have him make unwanted advances is most shocking. Why did you not tell me cousin Alfred was behaving in such an untoward fashion? In truth I had even found myself wondering if you enjoyed his company, for you seemed rather content being his guide whilst in ton. Imagine my surprise when Charles told me that it was Miss de Bourgh of all people who finally told him cousin Alfred had made a play for you. How could you abide it?"
Oh thank heaven's Caroline thought, finally letting go of the breath she had held. Is that all? Lord, the way her sister was carrying on you would have thought the situation far more sinister than the simple undesired attention from a member of the opposite sex. Still if this was her main concern, surely she did not know of Alfred's real power over them. No, thankfully Louisa could not. Caroline would never let her sister know the real reason why she had allowed Alfred to behave towards her so without raising concern to her siblings. She would never expose their mother. Their unpleasant, private exchanges would remain exactly that. The only person who knew was Cedric, and Caroline knew she could trust him explicitly, even if she was still rather nervous in doing so. No, she would never willingly burden the evils of their families past upon Louisa and Charles.
Contorting her expression into one of disinterest, Caroline responded as only she could: "and this is reason enough for you to come unannounced into my bedchamber, screeching like one of your blasted Macaws? Louisa I simply did not tell you as the matter is mute. Yes, dear cousin Alfred has paid some unwanted attention towards myself, but it is nothing I can not manage. Really, Charles has blown the whole situation out of proportion." She paused, realising both their voices had been raised whilst the door to her bedchamber stood ajar.
"Do not worry," Louisa replied sourly, sensing her sisters discomfort. "Cousin Alfred is not here. He is currently with Mr Hurst. They are meeting Lord Colville at his stables in Hyde Park to view his racers ahead of the St Ledger. You know he still believes he will take the Triple Crown with that young filly of his."
"Lord Louisa, you sound just like Mr Hurst. I find myself as spiritless now as I do when he is present."
Louisa scowled at her sister. "Darcy is also in attendance."
"Well of course Darcy should attend. He and Lord Colville have become particular associates. It is not surprising when his Lordship is marrying into the de Bourgh fortune. Darcy understands it is his duty to pay such attentions on behalf of Lady Catherine."
"I hardly think it his duty. I am sure he merely did not wish to miss seeing the horses."
"Then we are fortunate indeed that such family responsibilities never fall upon your shoulders," Caroline replied dryly.
"Why must you always belittle me so. You think Darcy is paramount. You canonise him and his sister. You think them above us all and no one can compare! Yet I am closer to the Darcy's than you shall ever be. You seem to forget I too am in possession of a house on Grosvenor Street. I too reside on the very same side of the very same street the Darcy's call home. Unlike you I am mistress of my own home, to do with as I see fit. I want for nothing. I have found my place. I may not be at one with the upper sets of London society but I am accepted and welcomed where ever I go and see fit to show the correct respect and social order to those above me. Further more I have a husband who is kind and gentle who is nothing but considerate to my needs. I know you think I should have married better but I do believe I could not, nor do I wish it. Yet still you look down upon me!"
"Oh please you married the first gentleman who showed you an ounce of interest," Caroline interjected sharply. "I grant you, you may have found your happiness, but..."
"The first gentleman to show me interest! How dare you. Regardless There were others Caroline and you know it. Unlike you I do not look down my nose or cast such censure upon every person I meet. Granted my coming out was not as grand as yours, I was never such an extrovert; yet I was admired and my company found agreeable. I made friends and acquaintances but you could never allow me to enjoy it. Or did you conveniently forget Sir Henry Gilmore?"
"Oh for heaven's sake Louisa. I rather think I did you a favour it was not as though he..."
"You were fourteen! Not yet turned fifteen and still could not allow your older sister one moment in the limelight. He had called upon me. Not you. It was me whom he wished to court, yet still you did exactly as you always do. You dominated every conversation, every look until he was utterly besotted with you. I became nothing more than my beguiling little sisters chaperone. Then as soon as you had secured him, you tossed him aside without a single thought once you realised he needed our dowry a lot more than you needed his lowly title."
"He was only the grandson of someone who was once vaguely important. He was not worth our notice. You cannot seriously still hold a grudge over something so trivial? I was practically a child Louisa, and more importantly I likely saved you from tying yourself to a man even more ridiculous than Mr Hurst."
"Mr Hurst is not ridiculous! He is a good man and immeasurably wise for he is clever enough to see through your devious nature. I will not have you slander him purely due to your being unable to turn his head. Do not dare insult my husband for the simple fact it displeases you that he does not fawn over you nor shy from the sharpness of your tongue. Can you not just allow me my happiness?"
"Sister I am in no mood to argue with you over a subject I think foolish."
"Oh, of course not, for you shall never know what it is to be loved and love willingly in return. Not everything is a competition."
The fierceness in her typically obliging sisters words stung Caroline more than she would have expected. Did her sister really think so little of her?
Mistaking Caroline's quiet response as indifference, a riled Louisa carried on with force: "Darcy will never have you Caroline. Even Lord Colville chose a wife who is all sweetness of temper. Your cynical nature and words of poison will blacklist you if you are not careful. I worry for you. I came here out of concern for my sister, yet you have disparaged me at every opportunity. I do not even know why it is such a surprise. By now you would think I had realised it was no use. You will never change."
Louisa leaned forward to rest a hand on the end post of the bed, slightly stumbling as a wave of light-headedness washed over her. She clutched a hand to her mouth as she felt the empty hollow sensation, causing her to dry heave.
"Louisa whatever is the matter," cried Caroline moving swiftly from the bed. "Mary! Mary where are you girl!" She took her sister by the elbow supporting her weight as she once again leaned forward as though ready to be violently ill.
Shaking her sister off, Louisa moved the hand from her mouth over her eyes and breathed deeply, willing the horrendous feeling to quickly pass.
"Louisa whatever is the matter? You are ill. Why did you not tell me? Mary! Mary! I swear if you do not appear this very second I will..."
"Caro do stop yelling," Louisa pleaded, removing the hand from her eyes. She leaned forward, placing her hands on the end of the bed, taking slow deep breaths. "I just need a moment and the feeling shall pass."
"The feeling shall pass?"
"Yes, it often passes as quick as it came."
"Louisa do speak sense, I shall send for the doctor."
"There is no need Caroline. I have seen the doctor and all is well."
Caroline looked at her sister, her eyes showing the concern that she rarely let any other aspect of her character display. "I should not have upset you so."
"No likely you should not. But then do you not always?" Louisa turned to sit upon the end of the bed, grateful to feel the bile recede. "Why else do you think I did not tell you? I did not wish to open myself up to your censure on a matter which should in fact only bring me joy."
"Louisa what are you talking about?" Caroline asked blankly, entirely at a loss of the situation.
"I would have thought that rather obvious," Louisa replied unamused by Caroline's unclear reaction. Her sister was no simpleton, the fact she was playing ignorant only added to her vexation. When nothing more forthcoming came from her sister, Louisa could not help herself from looking to the heavens. "Caro, I am with child."
Caroline's face paled. She knew what was expected of a wife, their mother had been most forthcoming and nothing if not thorough in preparing her daughters. But to think of her sister and Mr Hurst in such an act, well it was no surprise her sister found herself quite nauseated.
"A baby?" Caroline asked in a voice quite unlike her own. "Are you certain?"
"Well if I am to believe the physician and the evidence to date it would appear so," replied Louisa coolly.
Caroline made no response, so self absorbed in thought that she did not notice the hurt in her sisters expression. A baby. Her sister had been married for several years yet she had never considered that they would wish to start a family of their own. Was her sister even capable of such a responsibility? Financially they were indeed sound, but Lord what if Alfred exposed them? Caroline felt the growing flutter of panic in the pit of her stomach at such a thought. It was imperative that Cedric exceed in curtailing their cousin; yet if he could not, Caroline knew what had to be done. She would marry their cousin to secure his silence in order to protect her sisters child. She stood, her jaw dropped, she was all astonishment.
Louisa watched Caroline's pensive expression, feeling the disappointment she had all but expected. Of course her sister would react in such a manner. She had never for a moment thought her sister would express joy or gush over such news. Caroline was many things, and over the years Louisa had grown to accept the flaws of her character and done her upmost to protect her little sister from the backlash of her own actions. Of course Caroline was far too conceited to ever fathom that Louisa had ever carried out such a role on her behalf. Of course she had not, this was Caroline. Yet Louisa had always made allowances for her trying behaviour. However at this moment, watching her practically aloof expression, filled Louisa with an almost over whelming distain for her horrid little sister.
Louisa felt tears prick at her eyes, yet she was determined she would not cry. She was entirely ecstatic with the prospect of motherhood. Mr Hurst was all praise at the cleverness of his wonderful wife. No one had ever called her clever, his praise and evident pleasure had filled her with pride and happiness. He could not look at her without smiling, their secret joy evident in every expression. The last few weeks had been their own little bubble of happiness. Of course her sister would be the one to burst that bubble.
"You will never change," Louisa said with feeling, repeating her words from earlier. "You are a conceited, selfish and unfeeling girl. For too long I have put up with your behaviour but no more Caroline. You could not even pretend to show happiness at such news. You are unable to muster even common decency. We are done."
"How dare you speak to me in such a manner! If only you knew half of the reality of the situation then you would..." Caroline began hotly, before realising that her sister was about to take her leave. "Louisa where do you think you are going, we are not done here. Do be sensible, I was merely surprised by such news."
"There is surprise and then there is simply looking as though one has heard something most unpleasant. I will not allow you to perturb my happiness. Be careful Caroline, for soon you will have no one to care for you. Even I cannot forgive you this. I will no longer be your champion."
And with those parting words, Louisa marched from the room, her head held high, most determined she would not cry in front of a sister so undeserving of her tears.