The news spread faster than Kaidan would've liked; a real life Prothean, aboard the Normandy? It was the one topic that dominated the rest of the day. Liara was practically bouncing up and down, which led to James and Joker making their usual snarky remarks. Kaidan, however, wasn't too hung up over it. He was more concerned about Javik's loyalty to Kacey than the fact he was a Prothean.
The way Javik seemed to pull Kacey's psyche apart was crazy. But then again, both he and Garrus knew something was wrong, and Javik had inadvertently given them more clues as to what was going on. Anxiety and distress; those weren't words usually associated with the scarlet haired commander. He couldn't picture the idea of a distressed Kacey in his head. He saw Kacey's nervous reaction when Javik had said that out loud. He couldn't deny it; given her reaction there was a degree of truth to it. And he wanted to know what was going on.
He decided to head back up to the Captain's Cabin, since it would probably be the quietest part of the ship, now that everyone was gossiping and hanging around the Crew Deck. He at least hoped that no one had noticed that he wasn't down there. As he arrived and entered the room, he saw Kacey lying on the bed with a datapad, scrolling through its contents.
"Hey, I was wondering where you disappeared to." Kaidan said, sitting down at the end of the bed next to Kacey's feet.
"Hey Kaidan," Kacey replied, sitting the datapad down, "You know, I was about to go and look for you, to see if you wanted to go over the next part?"
"Yeah, why not?" Kaidan said, "We've got time."
"Okay. So, after Horizon, the Illusive Man wanted to talk again…"
…
"Shepard. Good work on Horizon. Hopefully, the Collectors will think twice before attacking another colony."
Kacey scowled. Everything that happened on the colony was a disaster. The Collectors still took off with the colonists and her fight with Kaidan was still fresh in her mind. She wasn't in the mood to deal with the Illusive Man either.
"It's not a victory." Kacey replied sharply, "We interrupted the Collectors, but they still abducted half the colony."
"That's better than an entire colony." The Illusive Man dismissed, "And more than we've accomplished since the abductions began. The Collectors will be more careful now, but I think we can find another way to lure them in."
"Lure them in? He doesn't sound fazed about half the colony getting abducted." Kaidan said.
"The ends justify the means, according to him." Kacey replied, "When it comes to the Illusive Man, as long as you get the results he wants, he doesn't care how you do it."
"Another way, hmm?" Kacey scoffed, "I wondered if you had something to do with that attack. Kaidan said the Alliance got a tip about me and Cerberus."
"I released a few carefully disguised rumours that you might be alive and working for Cerberus."
"That was him? Those rumours…they came from him?" Kaidan replied with a hint of anger.
"Yeah, I wasn't surprised to be honest. I knew he was up to something." Kacey replied, "I assumed it was to keep me in line."
"That was you?" Kacey responded, trying to contain her anger, "Why? What are you trying to prove?"
"I suspected the Collectors were looking for you, or people connected to you." The Illusive Man said, "Now I know for certain. It was a risk, but I couldn't wait for them to take another colony. You understand."
"Do I? Cause it sounds to me like you helped them abduct half a colony!" Kacey said.
"Perhaps. Or perhaps you are more concerned about one person than the colony, Commander?"
"I don't see what Kaidan has to do with you luring the Collectors to Horizon."
"He has everything to do with it." The Illusive Man continued, "Vakarian and Moreau are with you. And Alenko is the only other person with a rather strong connection to you. Doctor T'Soni, Tali'Zorah and Wrex are too precarious to go after. Alenko was the perfect target for the Collectors, and his presence on Horizon was the perfect lure for them."
"So, you risked the colonists lives and his life, just to prove a point?"
The Illusive Man blew out smoke before continuing, "It was necessary. The Collectors now know that you are after them and will try to stop them. They also now know that going after Alenko isn't a good idea. If anything, I did you a favour."
"A favour? He put an entire colony in danger!" Kaidan said angrily.
"I know. He also put you in harm's way to prove his stupid point." Kacey said, trying to restrain her anger, "He used you as a lure. As bait for a trap. You could've died that day, or have been taken with the rest of the colonists."
"He used me to get to you. To control you." Kaidan murmured.
"Look, please don't blame yourself," Kacey said, "You didn't know, and all that mattered to me back then, was that you were safe. Okay?"
"Okay."
"No more colonies get hit, okay?" Kacey said behind gritted teeth, "I don't want them to abduct anyone else."
"I want the Collectors stopped for that very reason. That's why we're doing this, Shepard. I'm devoting all resources to finding a way through the Omega 4 Relay. We have to hit them where they live. Your team will have to be strong…as will their resolve. There's no looking back."
He put out his cigarette in the ashtray, "The same goes for you. Can I assume you've put your past relationships behind you?"
Had she? It seemed pretty clear that she hadn't, and she still wanted to make things right with Kaidan.
"It was a suffocating feeling. I felt tied up. If I was to die again on the other side of that relay, I wanted to make sure that I made things right with you."
Kacey scoffed, "That is none of your damn business."
"If it affects the mission, better you should leave it behind." The Illusive Man said irritably, "Shepard. Once we find a way through the Omega 4 Relay to the Collector homeworld…there's no guarantee you'll return. To have any hope of surviving, you—and your entire team—must be fully committed to this."
"Let me worry about them. You just find us a way to the Collector homeworld." Kacey snapped.
"I just want to be up front about your odds." The Illusive Man said, "You'll need everyone at their best. I've forwarded four more dossiers. Keep building your team while I find a way through the relay. And be careful, Shepard. The Collectors will be watching you."
As the call ended, Kacey turned to see Jacob standing behind her. She had hoped Jacob hadn't heard all of their conversation; she didn't feel like explaining her now severed ties to Kaidan. The Cerberus solider was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed.
"I guess we're really gonna do it." He said, "Hit the Omega 4 Relay, take the fight to the Collectors in person. Looking forward to the action. After seeing what those bastards did on Horizon, though…makes you think."
She didn't want to think about Horizon. Not now. Not anymore. It was starting to drive her crazy and even though her talk with Garrus and Joker helped, it didn't do much to dull the pain. She had a mission to focus on.
"We'll be fine!" she replied in her usual, confident tone, "They're powerful, but we've got a few tricks for them. If anyone can stop them, we can."
"No argument there, Commander." Jacob replied, "Horizon just made it hit home. What we're doing, what we're up against. Gonna go take care of some unfinished business. I imagine everyone else is too—getting some closure, you know?"
"Yeah, I know."
…
Kacey had to take her mind off things. The Horizon situation was continuing to drive her mad. She needed to focus on something else. So, she decided to actually listen to Jacob and have at least a chat with everyone before they arrived on Omega to recruit Zaeed.
She started in the lab with Mordin, who was still working through the new Collector data they had retrieved and had a thought that the data was 'toying' with him. She then let the Professor continue with his work as she went to check up on Joker.
"Hey, Kacey." Joker said, "Or do you prefer 'Commander'?"
"At this point, I'm not too fussed. We're friends, right?"
"Uh, heck yeah." Joker replied, "Anyway, it's pretty crazy the people you can run into out here, huh?"
"Look, I don't particularly want to talk about it." Kacey said.
"It might help."
"Fine. Go on."
"I mean, it was probably definitely a set up or something, but it was still good to see Kaidan. Commander Alenko, right?"
"We're still friends. Barely."
"Hold up. He was front line with you blowing up half the Citadel and I'm the one who was roped back into saving the galaxy? What, did somebody switch our files?"
"You're the force that pulls it all together, Joker." Kacey teased.
"Yeah, this sucks. I'll give you that."
"Anyway, how is everything up here?" Kacey asked.
"Shhh!"
"Joker?"
"I can tell when it's listening." Joker whispered.
"I am always listening, Mister Moreau." EDI chimed.
"I know" Joker complained.
"I'll leave you two to it." Kacey laughed.
…
After having a very brief talk with Garrus, Miranda and Jacob, Kacey found herself down in engineering, in the exactly place where Jack had decided to make her quarters.
"Hey, Jack." Kacey said, "What are you up to?"
Jack scoffed, "Still checking out your ship. Wouldn't mind putting her through her paces when you're not around."
"I doubt Joker would appreciate that. At least not while we're working."
"Relax." Jack replied, standing up and leaning against the wall, "Joy-riding doesn't have the thrill it used to. Besides, if I wanted it, I'd take it."
"That so?"
"I've been around. Ran with gangs, wiped out some gangs, joined a cult. Kept the haircut. I learned how to survive and not be a victim."
"It's hard to imagine you in a cult." Kacey said, "That usually involves a lot of rules."
"I was looking for answers." Jack replied simply, "Drugs and sex and going to a better place. A better place…right. It was all about money. They wanted to take a colony, shake the suckers down to fund their spread. And guess who was their ace in the hole? They were just like the rest. Didn't give one shit about me."
"What did you do when you found out?"
"What do you think?"
"You don't trust anyone, huh?" Kacey said, "You must've met some good people, too."
"Everybody wants something." Jack snapped, "And because of that, everything is fair game. Murder, assault, kidnapping, drugs, stealing, arson. Done it all. And that's the boring shit. Piracy, theft of military craft, destruction of a space station, and vandalism. That was a good one."
"And she's teaching at Grissom Academy?" Kaidan said, shocked, "How?"
"Going on a suicide mission and surviving changes people." Kacey replied, "You've seen Jacob. He used to defend Cerberus, claimed it was something great, something good. And now, he's running away from them. Fighting them. Jack's no different."
"I think you might've had a hand in this as well." Kaidan replied, "You can really be a good influence when you want to be."
"Military's a hard target." Kacey mused, "Bet that made you some friends."
"Shouldn't have left the thing unlocked. Besides, parades are boring. I helped."
"Destruction of a space station? You mean Purgatory?"
"Not Purgatory, a different one." Jack explained, "And I ain't saying it was easy. Not everything is spur of the moment. Sometimes you got to work to give people what they deserve. Had some people I hung with for a while. Outlaw colony. Felt like they were like me. Guess that made us a nice target. Turians think they know something about a scorched earth response. Fuck 'em."
"And the piracy?"
"Ties in with kidnapping. If you hijack a passenger ship and don't kill everyone, anyway. Good lesson. Simpler to just kill them."
"I'm surprised you mentioned vandalism in that bunch."
"That's what the hanar call it when you crash that space station I mentioned into one of their moons and make a new crater. They really liked that moon."
"And you don't regret any of it?" Kacey asked, "Do you not wonder if you could've done things differently?"
"No."
"Shouldn't you?"
"There's no reason I should be alive, but I am." Jack snapped, "You know why? Instinct. It's worked for me so far and I'm not going to change."
She paused. Kacey eyed her carefully as Jack moved away from the wall.
"Hey, Shepard." Jack said, "No one's ever asked me about this shit. It's strange to talk about. So…fuck you and…thanks for asking."
…
"Shepard."
"Hello to you too, Grunt." Kacey said, "Just checking in, making sure you're acclimatising."
"The hold is too open. Not enough cover. Armour is limited. Warlord Granth would target here to scatter heavy cargo, then focus on engines. That's what the tank imprints show about human ships, anyway. It's how I learned from the tank—old pictures where memory is. Like holding a book for a child. Just 'remember this', picture after picture. No help with finding a reason to care." Grunt replied.
"What other human info is floating around in there?"
"Less than a finger deep to sever your spine." Grunt replied, "You're soft. Salarians, asari, all soft. Quarians, not so much. Turians, you have to work the blade, I guess. Don't see much point to it though. Heh, much point. Ah never mind."
"Something must move you." Kacey said, "You're as genetically krogan as you can get."
"I see suffering, the dead and I think 'weak'. I'm supposed to be strong. My guts were grown from thousands more worthy. The dead were weak. If they were strong, I wouldn't be needed. I don't know why Okeer started teaching…When he turned on the tank the first time, I screamed. Weak, pitiful."
"So, you started small." Kacey replied, "But you became stronger. You became who you are. Not everyone gets that chance."
"I'm built for strength," Grunt replied, "but didn't earn it. I just am. Those dead were strong enough to try, even if they lost. The perfect krogan. Ignoring what made me. No strength in that. I'll take another look at what happened to the krogan. Find a reason to care about it."
"Who knows, maybe you will."