A/N: Thank you N-C-C-1 for the favourite. I hope you're enjoying the story.

"What the hell happened?!"

The War Room was quiet. Too quiet. And Kaidan didn't like how the rest of the team remained quiet. Liara was still recovering from her wounds, but she was still able to move around the Normandy, something that didn't apply to Kacey who was still unconscious even after several hours. Liara continued to stand opposite Kaidan, refusing to meet his gaze. Garrus stood next to him, and James stood on the left-hand side between Kaidan and Liara; Javik was on the side opposite James while EDI stood next to Liara.

He couldn't fathom it; one minute, she was fine the next…that. He wanted to kick himself hard; he should've gone. He should've gone on that mission. Maybe then, he could've stopped this from happening.

"I don't know." James said, "All I know is what I saw; Liara and EDI carrying the Commander out of the shuttle. She wasn't responsive and she was bleeding, bad. So, I carried her up to the med bay. Liara was hurt after all."

"That doesn't explain how she ended up like that in the first place." Garrus said sternly, "Liara, what happened?"

"We…we had taken control of the…base. But there were Cerberus troops blocking the landing pad." Liara said, "We managed to clear the pad, but then an Atlas mech…it landed on the landing pad. We…I…I…"

"Liara?" Kaidan said.

"Liara was pinned down by the mech." EDI explained, "Shepard had moved from out of cover and drew its fire and attempted to use a concussive shot. It had missed and the mech had shot through her shields."

"And you both just let it happen?" Javik said.

"I didn't! I tried to help!" Liara snapped.

"Stop!" Kaidan said, "I believe you, Liara. Okay?"

"Thank you."

"Kaidan? Are you there?" Joker said through the comms, "Doctor Chakwas wants to see you in the med bay."

"Okay, Joker. I'll be right there." Kaidan said.

…

"How is she?" Kaidan asked as he arrived in the med bay.

"She will be fine." Chakwas said, holding up a datapad, "The bleeding has stopped and there are no internal injuries. I estimate that the wound on her right thigh should heal by the next mission. I'd say the Commander is very lucky all things considered."

That was a relief. He had hoped it was nothing gravely serious. He looked over at the ruby haired commander, who was in her normal military attire and was still out cold on the bed.

"Lucky?" Kaidan said, "She's still unconscious though."

"Yes, although that is not necessarily because of her injuries." Chakwas said, "Both her armour's vital readings and my own scans are showing that she is very fatigued. Almost fully exhausted…which is odd considering—"

She stopped herself. Kaidan looked at the doctor, curiously.

"Considering?"

"Considering the fact that she has never been in such a state before as well as the fact that she has appeared to get some rest. Liara mentioned that she was missing shots so something is clearly going on."

"Yeah, something is. I just wish she'd tell me." Kaidan mused.

"I see." Chakwas said, smiling, "I knew it. I knew you two got back together."

Kaidan's eye widened, "How?"

"You're telling on yourself, Alenko." Chakwas replied, "The look you had when she was brought in said it all, and now you have just confirmed there."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, and for one I'm happy about it." Chakwas said, "You both work well together."

"Thanks, doctor."

"And I assume there's a reason to the secrecy?"

"Please…don't tell Joker. I'm convinced there's a betting pool going on."

"Kacey!"

"Hi Kaidan." Kacey said weakly, as she tried to sit up, "I think you just broke regs there for a sec."

"Come now, Commander. You both broke regs a while ago." Chakwas said, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Sore but fine." She said, about to stand up.

"I wouldn't go running around the ship, Commander." Chakwas said sternly, "You need rest. And time to heal that nasty cut on your thigh."

"I'm fine."

"She's right, Kacey." Kaidan said, "Liara told me what happened. You need to rest."

"I'll rest when I'm dead."

"You've already died once, Kacey. And if you keep pushing yourself like this, you'll end up dead again."

Kacey looked at him, clearly thinking about what he had just said. She was clearly still tired; dark rings were beginning to form under her eyes. While not immediately noticeable, it certainly caught Kaidan's interest the more he looked at her.

"Okay, okay. You're right." Kacey relented, "I'll rest in my quarters. I imagine most of the crew is talking about this."

"Liara was shouting a lot when she came out of the elevator." Kaidan said, "But she was just worried, we all are."

"He's right, you know." Chakwas added, "Kaidan had turned as white as snow when he saw you."

"I'm sorry for making you worry, Kaidan." Kacey said, apologetic.

"It's okay, Kacey." Kaidan said, "Now, let's go upstairs."

"Okay."

"Good." Chakwas said, "And please get some rest, Commander. Otherwise, I'm afraid more incidents like this are inevitable."

…

Kaidan watched as Kacey limped out of the elevator and into her quarters. His mind immediately drifted back to his conversation with Hackett, and what he had asked him to do. Kaidan watched as Kacey sat on the bed but didn't move. She remained still, contemplating something. He sat down beside her, letting the silence hang in the air. Nothing but their stilted breathing and the quiet rumbling of the Normandy.

How was he to start? Kacey didn't seem interested in talking about those nightmares. And the way Hackett described her…it wasn't going to be easy either. Kacey certainly put up a good mask, but even that mask was breaking. And through the cracks, Kaidan was really starting to understand her better. She was as human as the rest of them, despite her pulling off the impossible time and time again.

She tried to take her boots off; but it seemed that she was struggling a bit because of her injury. He didn't hesitate and immediately kneeled in front of her and helped her undo the bootstraps. From the corner of his eye, he could see her turn red in embarrassment. He understood why; having someone else take your shoes off for you would be embarrassing to most. And with how modest and humble Kacey could be, this was one of the last things she would want.

"You don't have to do that." She said after a long silence.

"I don't mind." Kaidan replied, moving onto the second boot, "And besides, I saw you struggle with it, I wouldn't be a good boyfriend if I didn't help you out."

It was weird to hear out loud; given the circumstances of their relationship, it was hard to imagine. Kacey was his girlfriend; a thought that never crossed his mind in a million years. It was weird, but a good weird. One he could get used to.

"Boyfriend, huh?" Kacey mused, a teasing smile on her face, "You know, it's weird to hear you say that."

"I guess we didn't really have the time before to figure that out." Kaidan replied, "You know, with saving the galaxy and all."

"Yeah, I suppose so." Kacey said, "But I like it."

"So do I."

He sat back up on the bed and pecked her cheek. She blushed again, smiling as she leaned in close and kissed him again. It was addictive; and he was addicted. Any worries he had were immediately washed away in an instant. He couldn't help it; even in this war, even with everything burning down, he wanted to be a bit more selfish. To keep the commander's attention to himself.

He stroked her hair as he gave in to temptation, careful not to touch her injured thigh. Kacey responded by tracing the outline of his chest before wrapping her arms around his neck. This continued for who knows how long before Kaidan pulled away, remembering the reason Kacey was supposed to be up here in the first place.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you're supposed to be resting." Kaidan said.

"I know, but I can't sleep." Kacey said, "Believe me, I tried."

"What's bothering you, Kacey?" Kaidan asked.

"Nothing."

"I know it's not nothing. You're doing that thing that you do when you're hiding something."

"What thing?"

"You pull on your collar when lying, Kacey." Kaidan said, "You're doing it now."

Kacey paused and let go of her collar. Despite wearing the same military uniform as himself, Kaidan wondered how she managed to tug on her collar. Those collars were pretty firm, and tight fitting.

"Okay, okay." Kacey said, "I relent. I'm sorry, I…I don't want to keep things from you, Kaidan. Really, I don't. I just…don't know how to talk about these things."

"Define these things."

"My thoughts, my feelings." Kacey listed, "My…problems. You have enough going on, I don't want to burden you with my issues."

"I believe I said that to you once, remember?" Kaidan replied, smiling faintly at the memory, "And I believe your response was 'I wanted to get to know you a little better, Kaidan. Quit beating around the bush and talk to me, you have a little black raincloud above your head, and it'll flood the crew deck if you don't speak up now.'"

Kacey laughed, "Oh yeah, I remember that!"

"I thought so." Kaidan laughed, "So, come on. Talk to me Kacey. Because I think I've found out where that little black raincloud has gone, and it'll flood this room if you don't talk about it now."

"Okay, fair play, Alenko." Kacey said, propping a pillow up against the wall and leaning against it, "Those nightmares of mine…they…they're all different, but the patterns are the same. At first, during those months I was 'relived of duty', they were mostly dreams about the Collector business. The mission on the Collector ship, the mission on Horizon, the suicide mission itself…and so many others."

"I don't think I've heard about anything of the missions aside from Horizon." Kaidan said.

"You haven't." Kacey confirmed, "All of those dreams were from missions after I recruited Thane. Starting with meeting up with Liara all the way to the end…with a few exceptions. Then, after we left Earth, they started to become…more distressing."

"When was the first one?"

"After Mars." Kacey replied as Kaidan moved to sit beside her, "After you got…badly hurt. We got you back on the Normandy, Liara did her best to keep you stable until we got to the Citadel. She told me to rest; I didn't want to. Not when…not when you were like that."

"I didn't know…" Kaidan said, trying to process what Kacey was saying, "After everything I said on Mars…you…?"

"It's hard to stop loving someone. And I tried to bury those feelings but…" Kacey gave a small laugh, "Well, I couldn't…not matter what you said."

"I see."

"Liara eventually convinced me, and I went up here to rest. That's when I had the first one." Kacey explained, "I was…on one of the old Alliance starships. One of the ships I grew up on. I can't remember the name of the ship, but I knew it was the one that my…mother worked on at the time. It was dark, cold and I couldn't see anything clearly. But I heard…laughter."

"Laughter?"

"Yeah. A child's laughter." Kacey elaborated, "I saw the silhouette of a child, a little girl, running down the halls. I was raised on large Alliance frigates and there was a lot of narrow halls. So, I started to follow her. When I did…the walls started to change."

"Change? Change into what?"

"It—its hard to describe." Kacey replied, fidgeting a bit, "They were dripping with blood, not just red blood, but blue, green, all sorts of colours. It started to turn into a mix between an Alliance ship…and a Collector ship. The little girl kept running, I kept following her…until I heard a Reaper. That sound they make when they're about to fire their laser. The little girl stops, and turns to face me, and that was when I realised…. who I was chasing. It was me."

"You?"

"Yeah, it was little kid me. I was dressed in that little blue and gold outfit the Alliance put the kids in. Long, scarlet hair tied back in a plait. The little girl was holding something, but I—I couldn't see what it was. Then, that Doctor Eva body showed up in the distance, smashing someone against the wall."

"Why do I feel like I know where this is going?"

"Because you remember what happened?" Kacey said, "I followed the little girl to you. But you…you were…dead. I heard another noise from the Reaper, and then the Eva robot dropped you, ran past little me, and tried to strangle me. Last thing I heard before I woke was Harbinger…saying something about me being weak and fragile. Then I woke up, and we had arrived at the Citadel."

"And that was just the first one?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah." Kacey sighed, "That little kid version of me? She's in all of them. Every. Single. One. The next one I had was after we left the Citadel, heading to Palaven. It was a dream that started off as the suicide mission…we had just landed on the Collector Base but…but it all went wrong….so very wrong."

"What happened?"

"I watched the entire crew die." Kacey said, her breathing becoming more erratic, "Jacob, Miranda, Jack, Grunt, Thane, Samara, Zaeed, Kasumi, Tali, Legion, Garrus, Mordin…all just…dead. Slaughtered by the Collectors…except for Garrus and Tali. What happened to them…and Joker…I—I can't—"

"Hey, it's okay." Kaidan said, as he pulled Kacey in for a hug, "You don't have to keep going if you don't want to."

"I'm sorry." She said quietly. Kaidan kept his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder, "I…I couldn't believe it. Tali and Garrus…they fell. The place was falling apart. I tried to save them but…I wasn't fast enough. Joker…. he…. he was blown to pieces. As the place was falling apart, I saw my younger self standing there, big grin on her face. Then I woke up, and everything was back to normal."

"I see what you mean when you said they were distressing." Kaidan said.

"Yeah. But the next one…it confused me a lot." Kacey said, "It was after Tuchanka, after Mordin died. The dreams between the mission on Palaven and curing the genophage were just repeats of those earlier missions prior to the suicide mission. But something changed here. I awoke in some sort of forest. I don't recognise the place, hell I've never been to a forested area like it before. There were these…dark, shadowy figures, like ghosts, wandering around aimlessly. The younger version of me was running off somewhere and I followed. Those figures…they were whispering…I couldn't make out what they were saying. But then, I heard a voice…it was Ashley's voice."

"Ashley? Are you sure?"

"One hundred percent sure, Kaidan." Kacey said, "It was her, and Mordin and…a few others. Some old friends too. Whispering things. Saying things. Things they said to me. When I got close to my younger self, I saw what she had in her hands; a small toy model of the Normandy SR1. Next thing I knew, she went up in flames. Still smiling away."

"Can't say I've had many dreams like that, Kacey." Kaidan said, "But what about the other two? The ones when I was here?"

"Ah those…" Kacey took a deep breath, "That time, back when you came to check on me and I told you I couldn't sleep? I had another dream like the one before in the woods, but this time, Thane was among the voices as well. Everything was the same as last time except that, when my younger self went up in flames, I heard them all; Ashley, Mordin, Thane, all of them, blame me for not saving them. For letting the Reapers do all this."

"You did everything you could, Kacey." Kaidan replied, "Nobody can blame you for what happened."

"It still feels like my fault." Kacey said, "I should've fought harder. Should've kept shouting the truth until they believed me. I should've done more. Maybe then, we wouldn't be in this war. Maybe we would've been more prepared."

"We don't know for sure. I don't even know how we could prepare for this."

"We could've at least tried."

"Fair point."

"Do you remember that night when I asked you to bunk here for the night?" Kacey said, "After we talked about Horizon? The dream I had that night…it was about the destruction of the first Normandy and—my death."

"Your…death?" Kaidan said, shocked.

"Yeah, I had just pushed Joker into the escape pod then…the Normandy exploded again, and I was blasted into space. The oxygen tank in my suit had burst and…I was floating through space, dying slowly, hearing Ashley ask me one thing."

"What did she ask?

"'Why didn't you save me?'"

"Oh." Was all Kaidan could say. He understood that sentiment well; at the time he wondered the same thing.

"Don't get me wrong; if I had to make that choice again, Kaidan, I still would've saved you in a heartbeat. I meant what I said then. And I still stand by my choice now. Its just a part of me wishes that I could've saved you both."

"I understand, Kacey." Kaidan said, "I really hoped we could've saved her as well. It just…didn't work out that way."

"Yeah, it didn't."

"That does explain why you were coughing so much afterwards." Kaidan replied, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend dreaming about such a thing." Kacey said, "Unless you like waking up in a coughing fit."

"I don't think I want to, Kacey." Kaidan said, "And I appreciate you opening up to me."

"Honestly, I feel a bit better talking to you about it." Kacey said, before giving out a small laugh, "Has the little black raincloud disappeared yet?"

"It has, for now." Kaidan laughed, "Try to get some rest, Kacey. And if you have any more bad dreams…I'm right here next to you."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Kacey said.