The fight with the geth in the drive core was a brutal one. The cramped and close quarters made it difficult to move around in. It also made it easier for the geth to hide in amongst the different boxes, crates and computer terminals that dotted the area.

"The geth fleet is destabilised." Admiral Xen's voice came through the comms, "The signal is offline."

Kaidan fried all of the geth's shields as they continued to round the corner. The sudden influx of enemy geth had thrown him off as did the quarian admirals screeching down the comms. Kaidan couldn't focus and nearly got gunned down by a geth sniper; thankfully, it clipped his shields.

He wished he had some of Kacey disruptor ammo; the damn thing was pretty effective at tearing through the synthetics. According to Liara, the disrupter ammo was a slightly more advanced version of the tungsten ammo they used to use against the geth while they were chasing Saren. The tungsten ammo obliterated the geth; it was incredibly valuable to them. however, with the move to thermal clips and every weapon under the sun getting updated and, in some cases redesigned, to accommodate this, tungsten ammo became more or less obsolete. He didn't how exactly Kacey got hold of the disruptor ammo, but he had to admit; it was useful.

"Civilian fleet." Kaidan heard Admiral Raan over the comms, "Prepare to withdraw. The Patrol Fleet will cover you once the Heavy Fleet is in position. Whenever you are ready, Admiral Gerrel."

"Hopefully they get everybody out on time." Kacey said, "Shit! Watch out! There's a Prime on scene!"

Geth Primes were the worst; they weren't too bad if you were in a tank but on foot? No chance. They were potent and powerful killing machines. Taking it down took a lot out of Kaidan; after the shields were destroyed by Tali, he used Reave to destroy the armour enough for Kacey to mow it down.

"Admiral Gerrel, what are you doing?" Admiral Raan shouted down the comms. Kaidan didn't find it to be reassuring and Gerrel's answer did little to alleviate his concerns.

"Raan! Check your screens!" Admiral Gerrel shouted, "The dreadnought is helpless! No barriers, and the main gun is offline. We can remove their flagship if we strike now!"

"He did not just say what I think he just said." Kacey said in a frustrated tone.

"Damn it." Admiral Raan responded, "This is our chance to withdraw the Civilian Fleet safely!"

"What are you talking about?!" Tali snapped back through the comms as she blew the head off a geth rocket trooper, "We're still on board!"

"We can't waste this chance." Admiral Gerrel argued back, "Heavy Fleet, all forward. Take out the dreadnought!"

"Patrol Fleet! Hold position!" Admiral Raan said.

Kaidan couldn't believe what he was hearing; was Admiral Gerrel seriously going to open fire on the dreadnought with them still on it? He knew that every species' military was different, but he didn't think that the quarian military would have 'shooting down your soldiers while they're on an enemy ship' as standard protocol.

He couldn't see Kacey's expression through her helmet, but he knew she was pissed; Kacey never stood for such callous tactics, and she wasn't exactly tolerable of those who used them. The ruby haired Commander started to become more ruthless with her shots, her patience thinning. Just like Mars.

Kaidan shot two more geth that were closing in on him; he didn't like to think about Mars. It was a tense mission for a lot of reasons; and landing in hospital was one of those reasons. But the other big reason was his arguments with Kacey.

He had never seen her snap like that; not at him or anyone else. And he hated the fact that James had to witness it as well. The marine didn't need to see their argument; just as Garrus didn't need to see their shouting match on Horizon. To be on the receiving end was a bit of a wake-up call for Kaidan; it was the first sign that maybe, just maybe, this really was the woman he had fallen in love with three years prior.

He used reave on the Geth Prime that came stomping towards them after Tali destroyed the shields; Kacey sent the synthetic flying with a disruptor concussive shot. She was definitely pissed off.

"You do that, and the Heavy Fleet gets wiped out!" Admiral Gerrel shouted back at Admiral Raan, "And if we die, a simple retreat won't save you from the geth response!"

"Damn you, Gerrel!" Admiral Raan snapped back.

"Damn it, what are they doing?" Tali said.

"Focus on the geth!" Kacey said through gritted teeth, "We'll worry about the admirals later!"

Geth continued to spill into the darkened room, and the trio were trying their best to destroy them before the Heavy Fleet opened fire on the dreadnought. After gunning down a Geth Prime, Kacey, Kaidan and Tali jumped down the ladder. Kacey went to check with Legion but before anything could happen, voices ran through the comms.

"Patrol Fleet, flanking support on the Heavy Fleet." Admiral Raan spoke up again, "Give them a firing lane."

"All ships," Admiral Gerrel said firmly, "Open fire!"

The dreadnought shook as an explosion occurred behind Kacey. She nearly tipped forward as Kaidan struggled to stay balanced. The machine that had previously held Legion fell apart and sunk onto the ground as other machines exploded or fell apart. Kaidan couldn't believe that Admiral Gerrel had actually ordered his fleet to fire on the dreadnought while they were still inside.

"Shepard-Commander, the creator fleet is firing upon this vessel." Legion said, "Without barriers, this ship will be destroyed. We must evacuate."

"We need to get to the escape pods." Kacey said as Legion took the path underneath the trio.

"Geth transmit intelligences via remote signal." Legion countered, "We do not use escape pods."

"Got anything like an escape pod?"

"Geth fighters are docked in the port-side fighter bay. We can pilot a fighter to safety."

"Okay, let's move!"

Kaidan bolted through the ship, following Kacey's lead as the place fell apart; explosions caused by the holes the quarian ships were putting in the vessel became frequent. A catwalk in front of the trio exploded, causing Kacey, Kaidan, and Tali to skid to a halt before doubling back and heading through a different door. The ship continued to shake as each of them leaped over gaps in the catwalks and narrowly avoided the ship's infrastructure from falling on top of them.

"Shepard to Fleet!" Kacey said, pissed off, "Hold fire! I repeat, hold fire!"

"They're not responding!" Tali replied.

"I swear if we get out of this alive, Han'Gerrel and I are going to have a word."

Kaidan was not reassured by the statement; the last time Kacey said she was 'going to have a word' with someone when she was pissed off, it did not end well. A near full-on fist fight with a superior officer was one way to get court-martialled and if he and Anderson hadn't covered for her, Kacey probably would've been kicked out a long time ago.

"Shepard-Commander, we have taken control of docking protocols." Legion said.

"We'll be right there!" Kacey replied.

The trio were running down a straight catwalk when the platform under Kacey came loose, sending her tumbling down to the platforms below. Kaidan nearly hesitated before he saw Kacey run back up from the ramp nearby, gesturing for him to keep going.

"Shepard-Commander, we can only launch from the upper level." Legion chimed.

"Let's go!" Tali shouted.

Kaidan slid underneath a collapsed support pillar; Kacey leaped over through the narrow gap before the artificial gravity within the vessel was disabled due to the blasts. The conversation from earlier flashed through Kaidan's mind as he grabbed hold of Kacey's arm and pulled her towards him.

"Thanks." She said quietly.

"Not a problem, Kacey." Kaidan replied.

The biotic felt a small pull on his leg as Legion pulled the pair towards it, with Tali holding onto a support nearby.

"Normandy to Shepard." Joker's voice came over the comms, "I'm reading a loss of gravity. You okay over there?"

Kaidan had a feeling that Joker was reading Kacey's vitals again from her hard suit; made sense, the initial readings were concerning. it appeared to Kaidan that he made the right call.

"Fine." Kacey said, her voice a little shaky, "We're leaving in a geth fighter. Transmitting rendezvous coordinates."

Kaidan followed Kacey as the trio packed themselves inside the small geth fighter; Legion was already in the pilot seat as Kacey and Kaidan squeezed in with Tali.

"Does the storage compartment have adequate room, Shepard-Commander?" Legion asked.

"We're fine. Go!" Kacey said.

As the geth fighter flew quickly out of the exploding dreadnought, Joker could be heard over the comms saying, "Just waggle the wings or something so I know which one is you."

…

"I just want to talk with him."

"Absolutely not, Kacey."

"I just want a word."

"The last time you had 'a word' with someone, you gave the guy a black eye!"

"I apologised! And besides, he shouldn't have invaded my personal space."

"Commander, just think this through first." Kaidan said as he followed her across the CIC, catching the attention of the crew.

"I have, and rest assured that I have thought about it, and I am confident in my decision." Kacey replied.

"Assaulting a quarian admiral isn't going to help."

"I'm not going to hit him…yet." Kacey said as she marched through to the War Room, "We're just going to talk."

The rest of the squad had started to pile on through behind them as Kaidan followed Kacey into the War Room. It seemed that the Commander was dead set on having 'a word' with Admiral Gerrel; at the very least he could try to keep Kacey from making the conversation physical.

Tali was already in the War Room as they entered; with James, Garrus, Liara and Javik close behind. The quarian admirals were already arguing as they entered.

"Your unilateral strike endangered us all!" Admiral Raan shouted, furious, "I should charge you with treason!"

"Yeah?" Kacey called out as the Admirals turned to face her, "Well, I should throw all of you out the airlock for that stunt you pulled with the dreadnought."

"I was within my authority as admiral of the Heavy Fleet." Admiral Gerrel replied.

"Is it within your authority to leave your allies to die?" Kacey snapped back as she approached the admirals, with Kaidan close behind.

"Commander, the mission parameters changed." Admiral Gerrel argued, "You're military. You understand that."

"What I understand is that you were all too willing to let a fellow admiral, myself, a member of my squad and the entirety of your civilian population die because you couldn't be bothered to evacuate the civilians from the battlefield." Kacey said, getting too close to Admiral Gerrel, "So, either you lied about the parameters from the start, or you just shifted them at your convenience leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves. Which is it?"

"I had to take out that dreadnought-!"

"You had to evacuate your civilians!" Kacey shouted fuming.

"Do you speak like this to your Alliance Admirals, Commander?" Admiral Gerrel snapped back.

"Alliance Admirals aren't trying to have me, and my squad killed!" Kacey snapped in response, "If they did, I'd be having this chat with them."

"I did what I had to, to protect the Fleet." Admiral Gerrel replied.

"You did what you could to boost your ego." Kacey snapped, "Now, get the hell off my ship."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Kacey replied, "You do not try to blow up a ship with me and my squad on it and get to stand in my damn War Room like you did nothing wrong. I understand that mission parameters change, but that does not mean you can let your soldiers die preventable deaths. Get. Off. My. Ship!"

Admiral Gerrel walked towards the door, Kacey keeping a close eye on him as Kaidan made sure Kacey wasn't going to repeat the actions of last time.

"You're too idealistic, Commander." Admiral Gerrel huffed once he was at the door.

"And you're too selfish." Kacey replied, not looking at the admiral, "Liara, can you show him the door? Just in case he's lost."

"Of course." Liara said as she escorted the admiral out, leaving only Raan and Xen left behind.

"That was extremely unnecessary, Commander." Admiral Xen said.

"The leader of your military fleet just destroyed a vessel that could've possibly killed two Alliance soldiers." Kacey replied, "I don't know about you, but I think the last thing the quarians need is a war with the Alliance on top of Reapers and the geth."

"Still…"

"If I blew up a ship that you were on without warning, I'm pretty sure you'd be just as pissed off as I am."

"You must understand, the geth inflicted heavy casualties before you disabled the Reaper signal." Admiral Raan explained.

"I'm sure Garrus, James and Kaidan could enlighten you to the heavy casualties on Earth and Palaven." Kacey replied, "The entire galaxy is at war, millions of humans, turians, krogans and batarians are already dead and that's just the ones I know of. I don't know how many salarians, asari, hanar, volus, vorcha, elcor and drell are dead yet, but I can assure you that those numbers are going to be high. So don't lecture me about heavy casualties; you chose this war with the geth, we didn't choose our war with the Reapers."

Silence hung in the air; Kacey had left the admirals speechless. Kaidan had to admit, she had a point. But it was bleak to hear such a thing out loud.

"I…can see your point." Admiral Raan said after a long silence, "I'm sorry about Earth."

"I'm not vying for your sympathy, Admiral." Kacey said, lowering her voice, "I just need the quarians help with fighting the Reapers. That's all."

"I understand."

"So, what's this about a planetary defence cannon?"

…

Kaidan headed up to the first deck, knowing that it was probably where Kacey was hiding. He had left the War Room with James after Legion entered, if only to stop the bulky marine from shooting it. The biotic trusted Kacey's judgement on the matter, but as for Legion itself? He wasn't sure yet. It remained to be seen.

While Kaidan was relieved that the argument between Kacey and Admiral Gerrel hadn't turned physical, he was still concerned about Kacey. The conversation from the start of that mission gave him food for thought. And he wondered what was really going on. He suspected there was more going on than Kacey had told him and as much as he didn't want to pry, he was worried about her.

When he entered the Captain's Cabin, he found Kacey pacing around the room, running her left hand through her hair as she noticed Kaidan's arrival.

"Hey." Kacey said.

"Hey, you okay?" Kaidan asked.

"Yeah, kind of." Kacey admitted, "You sure do ask me that a lot."

"I'm just worried about you that's all."

"I suppose I've given you a lot of reasons to be worried about me." Kacey said with a meek smile, "More than I'll ever admit."

"What's going on, Kacey?"

"A lot." Kacey replied, her smile fading, "I don't quite understand it myself. Bad dreams, sickening feelings, anxiety…and memories. All kinda mixed up with each other. And I don't know why."

"How bad?"

"Depends." Kacey replied, "When I was running through Vancouver with Anderson…the sight of those Reapers destroying everything…it made me feel sick. On Mars, I just wanted the mission to be over, I couldn't cope with…"

She trailed off. Kaidan sighed.

"You couldn't cope with me interrogating you." Kaidan replied.

"I spent six months being asked those questions, Kaidan." Kacey replied, "I kept repeating myself, over and over and over, it was driving me insane. I couldn't tell what they did to me or how they did it. I don't really remember anything during the two years I was dead. All I knew was what they told me, and what I remember happening when the Normandy was destroyed. It's like there's this little black box in my brain where those two years should've been. Like a chasm between the destruction of the Normandy SR-1 and the Lazarus station."

"You told me that you couldn't believe that you were dead for two years." Kaidan mused, "So, to you, it must've felt like…going to sleep?"

"In a sense. It's hard to explain." Kacey answered, "It wasn't until the Collector Ship did I feel uneasy about venturing out into a vacuum. I never feared space before. I was raised in space. I just…couldn't understand it."

"You were scared." Kaidan replied, "And there is nothing wrong with that."

"But I'm supposed to be fearless, right?" Kacey said, trying to keep her stoic mask on, "I'm supposed to win this war. Be fearless. Be brave. Be the hero they need me to be."

"Need or want?" Kaidan asked.

Kacey remained silent for a few moments before taking a deep breath, "Want. To be the hero they want me to be. To follow their orders like a good little soldier."

"Kacey…"

"I've built a career on performing the impossible right?" Kacey said, her voice shaking, "I shouldn't be afraid of anything."

"But you're human, just like the rest of us." Kaidan replied, holding Kacey's hand, "Fear is normal. To be brave, is to be afraid. You shouldn't be pushing yourself this hard, Kacey. You don't deserve that."

"If I don't, how will we win?" Kacey asked, "Three years, Kaidan. And time's up. We weren't ready for this war. If we were, we wouldn't be running around like this. People wouldn't be dying like this."

Kaidan pulled her in close; tears starting to swell up in her eyes no matter how hard she desperately fought to keep herself together. He hugged her tight, not letting go. She had buried her head in his shoulder.

"Sometimes I just need a shoulder."

She had been bottling this up for so long; he didn't know that she had. On the surface, she seemed fine. She was herself; confident, snarky, heroic. But underneath, she was breaking, pulling herself apart. She was always there to lend an ear and help her squad, her crew with whatever problems they had with complete privacy and helped them.

"It'll be okay, Kacey." Kaidan replied softly, "We'll win this. You've got the best squad in the galaxy. We'll defeat the Reapers. Together."

"I hope so, Kaidan." Kacey said quietly, "I don't want to lose you again."

It seemed that, somewhere along the way, they forgot that even the great Commander Kacey Shepard, needed that too.