They entered the building; the corpses of the Cerberus troops left to rot in the oxygen-less atmosphere of Mars. Kaidan needed answers; this was all too convenient. Too planned. Why were Cerberus soldiers here? Now? He needed to know. He walked over to Kacey, who was activating the terminal to use the elevator. She was the only one who could have answers.

"Shepard. I need a straight answer." Kaidan said as he stood behind Kacey.

She looked away, shaking her head, "Kaidan…"

"Don't 'Kaidan' me. This is business." He pointed out, frustration getting the better of him, "Do you know anything about why Cerberus is here?"

It wasn't a difficult question; he just needed a straight and honest answer. But Kacey simply deflected. He couldn't understand why, it wasn't a difficult question to answer. But it seemed his question had struck a nerve as Kacey turned to face him, her voice firm, sharp.

"And what makes you think I know what they're up to?" Kacey asked, her tone laced with anger.

"You worked for them, for god's sake. How am I not to think that?" Kaidan replied, getting frustrated himself.

"We joined forces to take down the Collectors, nothing more, nothing less."

So, she said. Her voice was sharp; he had never heard her like that before. She was snapping back, getting defensive. But why?

"There's more to it." Kaidan argued back, standing his ground, "They rebuilt you from the ground up. They gave you a ship, resources…"

He trailed off as Kacey interrupted him, "Then I stole their ship, stole their resources, and told the Illusive Man where to shove it when I nuked the Collector Base from one end of the galaxy to the next. Let me be perfectly clear; I've had absolutely no contact with Cerberus since I blew up the Collector Base. And I have no idea why they're here now or what they want."

Sharp. Defensive. Crystal clear. He didn't know what to think or what to say. Looking at her, even with her face obscured by her helmet, he could tell there was a hint of truth to what she was saying. He could've sworn, deep down, he saw a hint of the old Kacey lurking beneath.

"Commander Shepard has been under constant surveillance since coming back to Earth." James said calmly, causing Kaidan to jump, "No way they've communicated since."

He had forgotten that James was with them, seeing and hearing this. The marine had jumped to Kacey's defence a bit too quick for Kaidan's liking.

"As if I'd want to." Kacey scoffed, turning away from Kaidan, "I'd rather jump in front of a Reaper beam."

He contemplated; maybe Cerberus really did just bring her back. Nothing more. But if that was true, if it really Kacey standing in front of him, then why did she work for Cerberus, after everything they saw the organisation do? Her responses had almost the witty and snarky nature that they always had; maybe it really was her.

"Sorry, Shepard." He said, "It's just that…"

The room pressurised; he took his helmet, trailing off. He could see Kacey's face. It was the same as ever. He turned to face her; this was really her, then…

He really messed this up. Again.

Kacey turned, her voice filled with anger, and just a little bit of sadness, "You of all people should know what I'm about, Kaidan."

She turned on her heel, and sharply walked away once the lift stopped. He was left feeling sheepish as he followed her, tense.

…

Kaidan woke up, shooting up quickly. He took a deep breath; it was just a dream. He sat up as he heard Kacey move over in the bed; she looked exhausted. And he couldn't blame her.

Last night was the most honest he had ever seen Kacey since the night before Ilos. She wasn't hiding behind her 'commander face'; for the first time in a long time, he had saw Kacey, not Commander Shepard.

He was starting to understand her better; he knew she was under a lot of pressure, but it seemed that he underestimated the extent it was taking a toll on Kacey. He couldn't imagine being under that pressure; he would've cracked underneath it a long time ago. But Kacey? She coped, she always managed to deal with it.

What changed?

"Ughh, god my head hurts." Kaidan could hear Kacey mutter as she pulled the pillow up to her face.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I feel like my head's been hit with a sledgehammer." Kacey groaned.

"Hold on, I think they're still some of those painkillers left." Kaidan said, moving out of the bed and towards Kacey's desk, "So, is there anything else you want to get off your chest?"

"Straight to the point, I see." Kacey said with a half-hearted laugh, "Yeah there's more. A lot more."

Kaidan picked up the tablets and grabbed the bottle of water Kacey had on her desk, "I can believe that. You're a lot more complicated than people give you credit for."

"Maybe that's because I'm more honest with you than everybody else." Kacey replied, "You're the only one I trust enough to see me in my bad moments."

"Nobody else?"

"No one else." Kacey said, sitting herself up, "Don't get me wrong, I trust Garrus, Tali, Liara and Joker completely, but I don't want them to see like…well, like I was last night."

"They know you're under a lot of pressure." Kaidan said as he handed Kacey the tablets and water, "They wouldn't judge you."

"Maybe, but it would certainly shatter their perception of me." Kacey said, taking the painkillers, then sighing, "I've got to be a good leader for the squad."

"You are a good leader." Kaidan said as he sat next to Kacey, "You are a good leader, and you are way too hard on yourself. You deserve a chance to relax. To have shore leave. You deserve the chance to be yourself, not whatever people want you to be."

"It's not that easy Kaidan." Kacey said, the ghost of smile on her face, "It's been like this since Elysium. People have expectations; I need to meet them. I need to be the soldier they need me to be."

It was messed up; the pressure had clearly gotten to her and was so well ingrained it was going to be hard to ease it.

"You don't." Kaidan replied, "You've done more than enough for everybody. You need to think about yourself. You can't keep pushing yourself like this."

"What happens if I don't? We fail?"

"What happens if you do? Kacey, you'll end up badly hurt." Kaidan reasoned, "Do you remember what happened that first night on Chasca? In the small cave?"

Kacey gave a small smile, "How could I forget?"

"We were running around for hours, until the sun had nearly set on the horizon." Kaidan mused, "We had to find shelter and you ran towards the cave, put the stuff down and went looking for tree branches."

"Yeah, and I asked you to help me instead of looking at me, confused." Kacey added, "You asked what I was doing, and I told you that I was trying to conceal the entrance to the cave."

"I asked you what good it would do, and you replied, and I quote 'I'm not making a posh oakwood door if that's what you're asking.'"

"Yeah, and they after that you helped me, and I called you stubborn." Kacey said, smiling at the memory, "I remember you asking me why I was so…distant from everyone. And I told you it was because I wasn't sure if I could trust everyone yet. I asked you if you trusted me. You said that you didn't completely yet."

"You asked me how you could gain my trust." Kaidan added, "And I told you…"

"'Show me that you can lead us well.'" Kacey replied, before the realisation hit her, "You wanted me to be a good leader."

"Yeah. I can tell you that, ten years later, that you are an exceptional leader." Kaidan replied, "But I think you forgot that I remember what you were like back then."

"Fair." Kacey replied, "And sometimes I forget that you are right about a lot of things, like the fact that I should rest more or talk to you about what's been bothering me."

"Do you feel a bit better?"

Kacey nodded, "Yeah, a lot better."

"Good." Kaidan said, taking a quick glance at the clock, "So, how do you want to spend the next hour we've got before we go and take down a planetary defence cannon?"

"I could tell you the next part of the story while you cuddle up with me." Kacey said teasingly.

Kaidan kissed Kacey gently, "How could I say no to that?"

"Mmm hmm, you can't." Kacey joked.

"Touché."

"So, after all that with the Collector Ship, I was cornered by Yeoman Kelly Chambers." Kacey explained.

"Yeah, you mentioned her a few times." Kaidan said, "Who was she?"

"A psychologist. Traynor actually works at Kelly's old station." Kacey answered, "She was doing psych evals on the squad, and I was the last person she did."

"Maybe it had something to do with you snapping at her?"

"Maybe. Either way, she was asking questions, pretty personal ones too…"

…

"Thank you for meeting with me, Commander." Kelly said as she sat down on the chair, "For a moment there, I thought you were avoiding me."

'Not for a lack of trying.' Kacey thought to herself. She had been trying to avoid this sit down with the Cerberus operative. Garrus had mentioned that Kelly had been psych evaluations on the squad. Kacey wasn't interested in talking to a psychologist; she didn't like talking to about those types of things.

They were sitting in the Briefing Room, sitting on chairs that Kelly had carried up from the mess hall. Kacey sat in the chair, uncomfortable. She didn't like discussing her personal life, or her personal problems for that matter. She didn't to Alliance personnel, so why would she talk about those problems with a Cerberus operative?

Kacey didn't hold anything against the yeoman; far from it actually. She was nice enough, kind. But that didn't mean she was willing to answer personal questions about herself and her psyche.

"So, Commander," Kelly said, catching Kacey's attention, "Can I ask you to confirm your name please?"

"Kacey Shepard." Kacey replied bluntly.

"How do you spell your first name?"

"K-a-c-e-y." Kacey spelled out, bored.

"Okay, so let's start with an overview of your background." Kelly said, looking through her datapad.

"I'm not even going to ask how you got a hold of any of that info." Kacey quipped.

"Don't worry, you don't have to answer anything you don't want to." Kelly replied, eyeing Kacey suspiciously, "So, you were born in April 2154 to Alliance soldiers, Captain John Shepard and Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard, three years before the First Contact War, yes?"

"Yeah." Kacey replied bored.

"Your father fought to liberate Shanxi while your mother looked after you on the Alliance frigate SSV Cardiff. Records show that you were usually living on one ship or another as your parents were reassigned." Kelly continued, "Did you stay with both of your parents?"

"I'm not sure I want to answer that." Kacey laughed nervously. How Cerberus got that information, Kacey had no idea.

"I can assure you Commander; this conversation is strictly confidential." Kelly explained, "I simply want to gauge how well you are doing mentally, okay?"

"Fine." Kacey relented, "No I didn't stay with both of them. My dad got promoted to Captain and was reassigned. He was given command of his own ship and I stayed with my mother."

"On the SSV Cardiff?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"Two years." Kacey said, "Then I was sent to stay with my dad for two years the back to mom."

"So, you were with both your parents until the end of the First Contact War, remained with your mother until 2160, then you were with your father until 2162. Then back to mother for how long?"

"Until I was old enough for high school." Kacey replied, "So, I was twelve when I was sent off to high school."

"You mean Arcturus Station?" Kelly asked, "In the Alliance's schooling system for children of active-duty officers?"

"Yes. Your point?"

"All that moving around, only seeing one parent consistently, that can't have been easy."

"I coped." Kacey said.

"Commander, you only stayed with your father for two years." Kelly said calmly, "How would you describe your relationship with your father as a child?"

Kacey sighed, contemplating. She didn't know quite what to say. Or what she should say. She hadn't thought about her childhood in years; she preferred to keep it in her past. She didn't understand why Kelly was asking her any of this. Her father is dead; did any of this really matter?

"It was good." Kacey said.

"Good?" Kelly questioned, "Can you elaborate?"

"He cared about me, and he did take the time to spend time with me if that's what you're asking." Kacey answered, "I didn't stay with him for long, true. But my mom made sure that I got to see him through video calls and such. I had a good relationship with him."

"Had?"

"He's dead." Kacey said, "You can't really have a working relationship with a corpse."

"Yes, but you seem a bit…defensive." Kelly responded, "What was your relationship like your mother?"

"Its good, my timely demise aside."

"Are you close?"

"Back then? Yes."

"What about more recently, before your father's passing?" Kelly questioned.

Kacey grew agitated, "Why are you asking me this?"

"Your defensive answers imply that something has clearly happened between you and your parents, your father specifically." Kelly replied, "Did something happen between you and your dad?"

"Yes, and that is none of your business."

"Commander, you will benefit from this a lot more if you answer my questions honestly." Kelly said, "If it's too painful, just tell me."

"I don't want to talk about it." Kacey said firmly.

"Okay, okay I won't push it further." Kelly replied, tense, "Did you have many friends growing up?"

"Not really." Kacey replied, thinking back, "I was moving around too much to have friends."

"Sounds like you would've been quite lonely as a child."

"Not really. Those Alliance ships were pretty big and there was a lot of people on it. I used to run around, annoying the marines was stupid questions. Most of them humoured me and answered those questions, some even took the time to play with me. I kept myself entertained."

"Certainly." Kelly smiled. It made Kacey uncomfortable, "Moving on, you enlisted in the Alliance at seventeen. Why?"

"I wanted to help people." Kacey shrugged.

"Was that the only reason?"

"It's the only one you're getting." Kacey said crossing her arms.

"I see." Kelly said, taking notes, "So, all things considered, your career is phenomenal, Commander. Given your background, it would make sense that you would be an exceptional soldier."

"What do you mean?"

"Your father's records show that he was one of the best soldiers in the Alliance." Kelly explained, "You're his daughter, so it makes sense."

"Being his daughter has nothing to do with my success." Kacey snapped, "I am a good solider because I worked hard to be as skilled as I could be. Okay?"

"I…I understand, Commander." Kelly relented, "So, let's talk about Elysium. Records show that you personally rallied the colonists to fend off the invading batatrians. Quite impressive, especially considering that you were only a Staff Lieutenant at the time."

"My Commander died within the first hour of fighting." Kacey replied, "I was next in the chain of command, so I did what I had to."

"What you had to?"

"Yeah. I wasn't going to let those bastards destroy the colony." Kacey explained, "It was just our squad, we didn't have the numbers to fight them off ourselves. I had to rally the colonists. We made sure that the vulnerable was safe before we engaged the enemy."

"Was it your first-time taking command?"

"Yeah, it was."

"Records show that you had went off to seal a breach in the colony's defences alone." Kelly said, "Twenty-three consecutive hours of fighting alone before reinforcements arrived. That must have been gruelling."

"It was, but I coped."

"How?"

"I just kept shooting them. I stayed focused and took them down. I wasn't going to let them destroy the colony. They were going to have to go through me before I let that happen."

"That seems to be a re-occurring theme with your service record." Kelly mused, "It seems like you don't seem to care much about what happens to you."

"I did what I had to." Kacey protested, "I wasn't going to let my squad die for me, okay?"

"Soldiers die on the battlefield all the time, Commander." Kelly responded.

"I know that I just don't like soldiers dying under my command." Kacey replied.

"Why is that?"

"Its pretty obvious, nobody wants to have soldiers dying under their command." Kacey replied.

"True, but there must be a reason for that dislike."

"People rely on me to make the right decision at the right time. Lives ride on those decisions." Kacey said, "I don't want someone to die because I made the wrong decision."

"So, you don't want to be responsible for your allies' deaths?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"With that, let's talk about Virmire." Kelly said as Kacey sighed, "You lost a member of your squad that day. What happened Commander?"

Kacey sighed again, "We were sent there to destroy Saren's cloning facility. He was breeding an army of krogan for his plan. We met up with the salarian team and I was asked to send one member of my squad with the salarian team to lead one of their units, they were going to assault the front of the base while I led the rest of my squad in the back to disable the AA gun."

"Who did you send away to the salarian team?"

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams."

"Why?"

"I thought it was the right decision. Ashley was a good soldier and I believed that she would be a good fit with the salarian team."

"After disabling the AA gun, your squad began to set up a nuclear bomb in the facility to destroy it." Kelly continued, "Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was responsible for setting up the bomb. It was then when Ashley called for help, yes?"

"Yeah, she was pinned down at the AA tower."

"But when you got halfway to the AA tower, a geth dropship arrived at the bomb site and Lieutenant Alenko decided to activate the bomb."

"What are you getting at?"

"You had to choose who to save. Save Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko or save Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams." Kelly explained, "You chose to save Kaidan Alenko, why?"

"I couldn't leave him behind." Kacey replied, "I've known Kaidan for years. I wasn't going to let him die."

"But Ashley Williams died as a result."

"I know that!" Kacey snapped, "I know. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life."

"What is your relationship with Kaidan Alenko?"

"That is definitely none of your business." Kacey replied, "And if that's all, I'll be going."

"Commander, if I'm being honest, I'm concerned about your wellbeing." Kelly said, worried.

"Why's that?"

"I heard about the situation with you and your helmet. You're showing some early signs of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." Kelly said, "I understand that you might not trust me, since I'm with Cerberus but I can assure you that I simply want what's best for you."

"I'm fine." Kacey said, "I don't have PTSD."

"I'm not so sure." Kelly replied, "If you would prefer to talk to Doctor Chakwas about this, I understand, in fact I'd recommend that you do."

"I don't need to see a doctor." Kacey said, irritated.

"The option is there when you're ready, Commander." Kelly added, "But you should know that it is understandable that you may not want to accept the possibility that you have it. But it will get worse, and more obvious, if left unchecked."