CW: Mild sexual themes

He went down to check on her. The plan worked; they managed to get away from the Citadel unnoticed. But in turn, they committed mutiny. Kaidan wasn't sure how to feel about that, but he knew one person who would have an answer.

She had cooped herself up in her quarters; it was out of character for her to be like that. As he entered, he saw her at her desk, looking over at the monitor with a look of disbelief. Almost as if she couldn't believe what she had done.

"Commander?" Kaidan said calmly.

She pulled herself away from her desk and looked at him, a small smile on her face, "You probably shouldn't call me that. Tch, probably shouldn't even be wearing this uniform."

"Yeah, hell of a thing." Kaidan mused, "We broke our oath to defend the Alliance so we can keep it. What happens if this doesn't work out, Shepard? We mutinied. We stole a prototype warship. If they wanted to get technical, they could throw in kidnapping. We're a hell of an example of humanity's best and brightest, huh?"

Kacey gave a small laugh, "I never claimed to be. You know, I keep telling myself we're doing the right thing. I don't believe me yet."

Her smile, her laugh. Something about it was so distracting yet so endearing. Why is it that, with her, even the impossible seemed to ever be within reach? That even the most difficult of situations seemed like nothing more than small trifles? How did she make him feel like anything was possible?

"Well, if I didn't think that you were doing the right thing, I wouldn't be here." Kaidan replied, "It'll really hit the fan when we get to Ilos. If things don't go well, I want you to know…well, I've enjoyed serving under you."

"Kaidan, you stopped being a subordinate a long time ago." She replied with a smile, "Don't you think it's time to act like it?"

His chest tightened, his heart beating faster. That smile of hers, that charisma…it was so intoxicating. The air around him felt warmer, safer.

"Battlefield flirting is one thing, Kacey. There are regs against fraternisation."

"Funny, you just broke one now. And lucky for you, I've never heard of the term, 'battlefield flirting'."

He hadn't even realised it; he called her by her first name. She looked at him, radiating confidence.

"Well, I suppose a breach of protocol will be pretty far down the list of charges at our court-martial." Kaidan mused.

"You make it sound like a date."

It was as clear a signal as he could have asked for. Damn, she was persuasive. And yet, he didn't even need persuading. Maybe just a little push. And just like that, any walls that kept those feelings at bay fell away in an instant.

"You know what? You're right." Kaidan admitted, "About everything. I think about losing you and I can't stand it. The galaxy will just keep going. Everything, even the Reapers, will come around again. But you and I, we are more important right now. And this is what will never happen again. Us. Kacey, you make me feel…human."

Her cheeks were starting to turn red as she smiled at him, "Bunk here tonight, Kaidan. With me."

He smirked, "Is that an order, Commander?"

"Damn right." She teased, "Now get over here."

The tension that had been building up for weeks hit a fever pitch in an instant; his arms were already around her waist as he pulled her in close. She had pulled him closer to her by the collar as they kissed each other passionately. It was like all that built up tension was just released. And it felt amazing. It was intoxicating, and a part of him didn't want to let go.

Any restrictions or signs of restraint were gone in a flash.

She briefly pulled away; he could feel her hot breath move up the side of his face as she whispered in his ear.

"You know, I don't think I've had the pleasure of you serving under me." She whispered with honeyed words, "Why don't we fix that?"

"Ouch. I walked right into that one, didn't I?" He whispered back, "Well, we best get started then."

Her hands were dancing around his chest, removing his shirt with ease. He had already begun to remove hers, working his way from the top down. They kicked off their own boots, leaving their uniforms a mess on the floor, without a care in the world.

He ran his hand through her scarlet hair as he took more and more pleasure from such a simple act. It was rewarding and liberating to be so open, so honest. No matter what happens next. Her fingers were tracing the outline of his chest as they worked their way down.

He took a sneaky glance at her; in nothing more than a bra and underwear. He smirked as he whispered, "I think you're a little…overdressed."

"Likewise. Mind helping me with that?" She teased.

He unclasped her bra, letting it drop to the floor as she took care of his underwear. He could feel the heat radiating from her as she pushed him onto the bed playfully, before climbing on top. It was exhilarating as she leaned in, kissing him again as they rolled over, changing positions.

He didn't wait to get started; and it was clear that she didn't want him to hesitate. She moaned softly as he got started, the kissing never ceasing unless they had to come up for air. They were so close, touching everywhere and anywhere, not caring about the galaxy outside, or the others outside the door.

They were in their own little world, one that felt incredible.

Even after the main event was over, and they were left panting and gasping for air, it didn't stop there. Kacey was stubborn, and Kaidan was the only one who could match her stubbornness. He knew that for a fact. And neither wanted to call it quits until they couldn't move.

Each touch sent shockwaves through him; it all started with a smile, a look, then it turned into something so much more. And he was loving every minute of it. He didn't regret a thing.

…

He was still half asleep; he didn't particularly want to wake up. Not yet. He still felt exhausted and the bed was so soft all of a sudden…

"Yeah, I know."

It was Kacey's voice. It sounded…tired. He didn't quite understand what she was doing, his eyes still closed, his body still asleep.

"The war has caused certain supplies to become scarce. If you run out, I cannot promise that you will receive more."

He remained quiet; he didn't recognise the other voice. He tried his best to listen as Kacey sighed.

"I'm well aware there is a war on." She snapped, "But I didn't ask to be dropped fifteen feet. The balcony was blown to pieces."

"But you certainly make it a habit. It was not that long ago that you were jumping off of skycars and taking blasts from Cerberus heavy mechs. Do not act like I don't read your mission reports, Commander."

"I have to take two every four hours for five days." Kacey countered, "Each time. No matter what happens. Surely the Alliance stockpiled it."

"What makes you think I have a stockpile of it?"

"I highly doubt the Alliance stopped producing it, considering my mother also takes it as well." Kacey snapped, "Not to mention, those results from Mordin–"

"I do not know why you insisted on bringing a salarian into this. It's bad enough that the Illusive Man knows. And now you involve a non-human?"

"Mordin was able to figure out exactly what was going on in mere days when you had years to figure out!" Kacey spat angrily, "Look, if I had it my way, I would've told my squad ages ago. Instead, I've got to tip-toe around the problem. Chakwas too."

"What is your problem?"

"I don't like lying to the people that have had my back through some of the most difficult moments of my life." Kacey replied, "Especially, my boyfriend. He knows something's going on, they all do. How long does the Alliance plan to keep this quiet?"

"We have already been down this road before, Kacey. You cannot say anything about it. You will put yourself in danger–"

"I'm already in danger! Cerberus troops are ordered to bring me in, dead or alive. The Reapers are harvesting every living thing. That shit won't fly anymore."

"*sigh* What is it that you want from me?"

"I want you to send Chakwas more of those tablets." Kacey replied, "I can't make any promises that my next mission won't be a rough one. And I'd like to be able to fight with all I've got."

"Very well. But just know that this will be the last one I will be able to do. And just so we're clear, I will be reporting your insubordination to Admiral Hackett."

"Yeah, yeah whatever." Kacey replied dismissively.

She had ended the call; Kaidan could hear her bang her fist on her desk. She clearly wasn't happy, and whoever that was didn't want Kacey to talk either.

He heard her sigh before turning to face the bed, "I know you're awake, Kaidan."

He opened his eyes and sat up, looking a little sheepish, "I didn't mean–"

"I know." Kacey replied calmly, "I know I woke you up by being a little loud. And you don't have to apologise for hearing what you heard."

"I'm not even sure I understood what I just heard." Kaidan replied.

"Might be for the best." Kacey said, "Look, I'd appreciate it if you don't say anything to anyone about that call."

"I wasn't planning to."

"Thanks." Kacey replied, "What I will say is this; if I had a choice, I would've told you years ago. I still want to now, but…"

"But you can't because of red tape?"

"In a sense." Kacey replied, "Plus there's too many bugs on this damn ship. I can't risk it. Maybe…maybe when we really get a moment alone, without prying eyes, I can tell you."

"I think I can hold off until then." Kaidan replied, "Now, why don't you come back to bed? You look exhausted."

"That sounds really nice." Kacey smiled.

…

By the time Kaidan had woken up again, Kacey was at her desk, skimming through datapads, a grim look on her face. He sat up, trying to put the tense nature of their last conversation behind him for now.

"Couldn't sleep?" Kaidan asked. Kacey nodded.

"I've got a lot on my mind." Kacey replied as she leaned back in her chair, "The Reapers aren't exactly letting up. I think destroying that Reaper on Rannoch pissed them off a little."

"A little?" Kaidan laughed.

"Okay, a lot." Kacey laughed, before it faded away as quick as it came, "You know, I…I just keep looking at all this; the casualty lists, the destruction…*sigh* and I wonder what I could've done differently."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, look at Palaven." Kacey replied, "The casualties from there just keep on climbing. Garrus tried his best to strengthen their defences but…I don't think they did much. The turian fleet is the strongest in the galaxy…and they crumbled. Fast. Even with the krogan on the ground, it…I don't think it's done anything but slow them down."

"You need to stop blaming yourself for all this." Kaidan replied as he put his shirt on, "It's not your fault that the Council and the Alliance were in denial. Besides, you spent two years dead."

"You didn't see what I saw from that beacon." Kacey replied, her voice tense, "It was all of this. Everything that Javik and his people went through; the denial, the betrayals, the harvesting…all that death. I don't know, I just feel that I should've yelled louder."

"At least, some of us were prepared." Kaidan mused, "Think about it; you dragged Garrus, Tali, Liara, Wrex and I right through the fights against Saren and Sovereign. Then you dragged an entire team of powerful soldiers and mercs to take on the Collectors. We're all prepared to fight the Reapers thanks to you."

"Question is; was it enough?"

Kaidan sighed, "I'm not gonna lie, I should've done more. After what I saw, I should've pushed the Alliance harder. Hell, even Anderson was trying to get their attention. I think, after everything we all went through, we all share the blame for not trying hard enough to warn the galaxy. The blame doesn't lie with you, Kacey."

"I want to believe that, Kaidan." Kacey sighed, "I really do."

Kaidan stood on the stairs, leaning against the pillar next to the wall displays by the desk, "If you keep looking at those causality lists, you'll drive yourself insane. Come on, I think you could use a break."

Kacey couldn't her smile as she stood up, "You are such an evil distraction, you know that?"

"Oh, I know." Kaidan replied with a smirk.

Kacey shook her head, laughing with her hands on her hips, "Right. So, where were we in the story?"

"You had helped Zaeed on Zorya." Kaidan recalled, "In a pretty unorthodox way, as I recall."

"Yep." Kacey replied, "So, we returned to the Normandy and as it turns out, a few members of the squad wanted to talk. Seemed to me that they all had a lot on their minds…"