A/N: Just a quick note to say the following chapter will have mentions of the miscarriage that happened in the previous chapter. If that's something you're sensitive to, please take care of yourself and skip it if you need to!

September 2019 - Washington DC

"Fitz and I haven't slept together since the miscarriage."

The words spill from Olivia's lips unexpectedly in Abby's apartment, following dinner and drinks with the girls. Quinn and Abby's eyes meet across the coffee table, sharing a look of apprehension and shock because Olivia has never shared this much about her closely guarded relationship with the former president.

"Things like this take time to heal, Liv." Abby begins with a certain amount of caution.

"I know, it's just…" Olivia trails off, exhaling a frustrated sigh.

"You miss him," Quinn supplies easily, catching the look of surprise in Olivia's gaze, "I know it's not the same, but after I had Robin I didn't feel ready to have sex again for two and a half months. I missed having that intimacy with Charlie, though."

Olivia finds herself nodding in understanding because everything Quinn is saying resonates with her. She laces her fingers together nervously, her eyes drifting to her joined hands.

"Fitz doesn't even sleep in the same bed with me most nights, and when he does he's so far away. I…" She stutters, her breath catching in her throat, "I miss him being close to me."

"Liv, you should talk to him. He probably just thinks you're not ready and you need space. Charlie was the same 'til I jumped him." Quinn shrugs simply with a slight smirk edging onto her face.

"Quinn's right. You know he'll understand, he's a good guy." Abby utters in agreement, reaching for the open bottle of wine to top up their glasses.

"Yes, you're right." A soft smile curves Olivia's lips, "Anyway, you've been awfully coy, Abby. Tell us how things are going with Stephen…"

The house is quiet when Olivia returns home later and she's sure Fitz went to bed long ago, so she hangs her coat up, takes her heels off at the door, and tiptoes through the house. She's expecting him to be asleep, but as she reaches the top of the stairs she sees warm light spilling from an open door.

She follows the clicking sound of a keyboard through to their shared office and leans against the door frame for a moment. Fitz's brow is furrowed with concentration, his eyes fixed on the computer screen in front of him. He breathes out a tired sigh and leans back in his chair, lifting his hands to tuck them behind his head.

"Hi."

He snaps out of his daze with a look of slight surprise on his face. "Hi. I didn't hear you come in."

"I thought you'd be in bed already. What are you working on?"

"I decided to rewrite the speech for my visit to Michigan State University next week, but I can't get it right. I don't know what's missing from it."

"Want me to take a look at it?" She asks as she crosses the room to be at his side.

"No, it's late," He waves a hand dismissively, quickly clicking to save and close the document before she has a chance to convince him, "Hey, how was your night with the girls?"

"Good. It was good." She utters distractedly, moving to perch on the edge of the desk in front of him.

"Something on your mind?" He asks her this from time to time, letting her know he's there to listen without explicitly telling her so.

"I… I miss you."

"I know things have been busy with work, we can try cutting back on time at the office to spend time together if that's what you want?"

Her brows knit together with a soft frown and she shakes her head, "No, not like that. I miss being intimate with you. I miss sex with you... Have things changed since–" She pauses, huffing out a sigh of frustration, "Do you still want me?"

He looks at her like she's grown a second head, in complete disbelief that she could ask such a question.

"Liv, of course, I want you. I just… I didn't want to put pressure on you," A muted sigh escapes his lips and he places his hands on her knees, "I promise, I've never stopped wanting you."

"Why did you stop sharing a bed with me?" Her voice is quiet and timid, like she's afraid of the answer because things have never been like this with him.

"I… I knew you weren't sleeping well. I'd listen to you toss and turn at night, you've been so restless, I thought you needed space. I didn't want to… I just thought…" He struggles to articulate himself because he doesn't truly understand why the distance between them is so uncomfortably tangible now.

She smooths her fingers over the backs of his hands, gently caressing his knuckles with her thumbs. Her body language changes; there's a slight shift of her hips and her legs part a little, but it's not so subtle that he doesn't pick up on it.

"I never wanted that, Fitz. And I don't want you sleeping in the guest room anymore."

"Okay."

Olivia drags his hands up her thighs, slowly relaxing under the heat of his palms. Fitz stares up at her with overwhelming tenderness and warmth in his eyes, and then he lifts his head, leaning in to kiss her. The way he captures her lips is slow but self-assured, giving her the control to let things go as far as she wants them to. He's about to pull back when she reaches behind him, burying her fingers in his soft curls.

"Take me to bed."

His hands slide around to grasp her hips, carefully supporting her as he stands up to lift her. The soft brush of her lips along the side of his neck, paired with her warm body subtly grinding against him makes him pause at the door to stop from stumbling. A pained groan sounds from low in his chest and she giggles quietly in response.

"You want me to drop you?"

"Sorry."

She refrains from kissing him, letting him carry her through to their room without incident. When he reaches their bed he spreads her out beneath him, pausing for a moment to study her, checking if she's changed her mind.

As if she's reading his thoughts, she pulls him down for a deep kiss, filled with intense longing.

"I'm sure, I want this. I promise you," A quiet sigh escapes her as she caresses her fingertips over the back of his neck, "Let's make love."

Fitz reaches for the hem of Olivia's blouse and strips her out of it, then continues to kiss her heatedly as his hands slide behind her to unhook her bra, tossing it aimlessly behind himself. When his hands skim the flat planes of her stomach and come up to cup her breasts, she inhales a gasp.

He hesitates, flinching away. "Is – is that okay? You're not too sensitive, are you?"

"No, no, that's perfect." She arches into his touch and sighs contentedly.

"I've been thinking about it," He begins as he shifts lower, unzipping her pants and tugging them down along with her silk panties when she lifts her hips to help him, "I didn't know if you'd be ready or what you could handle… We can experiment, see what feels good. If I hurt you or if you're uncomfortable you have to tell me, okay?"

"Okay." Her fingers begin to loosen the buttons on his shirt, her sultry gaze roams over his newly bared chest.

"Good."

"Now get naked, already. I want you."

A grin edges across his face and he stands up, willfully obeying her request. She's already reaching for him as he kicks his boxers off. The mattress sinks below his weight as he leans over her, propping himself up with one hand, cradling her face with the other.

"I – uh – bought some lube. I didn't know–" He clears his throat, fighting through the mild embarrassment. "I didn't know if you'd–"

"You're very sweet," She hides a smile and pulls his hand away from her cheek, gently guiding it between her thighs. "But I don't think I need it, do you?"

His half-hard erection stiffens the second he feels how wet she is already, and then as he pulls his hand away to suck his fingers and taste her arousal, he's driven even crazier with need when he hears the muted whimper sound from her throat. He kisses a teasing path down her chest, letting his tongue draw lazy circles around her nipples. The muscles in her abdomen clench in anticipation and she grips his shoulders when his lips skim over her belly button.

"I love you." Fitz murmurs lowly against her skin and the weight of the moment suddenly hits him, making him pause.

The similarity isn't lost on Olivia either; the air is stolen from her lungs and tears prick her eyes. It's not unlike the time barely three months ago when they'd been in a blissful little bubble, utterly euphoric following the discovery of her pregnancy and he'd declared his love to her and their unborn child.

She cups his jaw, compelling him to meet her gaze. For just a few seconds they're able to silently convey just how deep their shared pain runs, then she caresses her thumb over his cheekbone.

"I love you too, Fitz."

When she tangles her fingers in his hair, he takes the hint and resumes kissing his way down her lower abdomen. Her legs part and he can tell how much she needs this from the way her thighs tremble at the feeling of his hot breath against her skin; he doesn't want to draw things out much longer, so he slowly passes the tip of his tongue between her folds. She's instantly responsive to him and tightens her grip on his curls, involuntarily jerking her hips against his face when he begins to swirl his tongue around her clit.

Olivia's been craving this for so long, it doesn't take much before she's panting and writhing in pleasure. When Fitz lifts her legs over his shoulders and presses two fingers inside of her, he easily takes her right to the edge. While sucking at her clit, he massages her g-spot and she falls apart. Her whole body quakes as he coaxes her through the aftershocks, making it last as long as she can take it.

"Fitz, Fitz, I need you…"

She's still trembling when he crawls up to kiss her. The taste of herself on his tongue makes her groan quietly and tug at his hair. When she wraps her hand around him and feels him throb beneath her fingertips, he exhales hotly against her neck as he kisses the spot below her ear that makes her whimper.

"Make love to me."

Fitz takes it slow, but he can immediately feel the way Olivia tenses up when he's pushing inside her. It's not painful, but the familiar stretch is overwhelming and a little uncomfortable – not at all what she's used to with him. Her brows furrow and he stills his hips, seeing the tension in her jaw.

"Livvie, if it hurts–"

"No, no, it's fine, it's just… It's a lot."

He eases his erection out of her, trying to be as gentle as he can.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong. Your body went through a lot and we haven't had sex in a long time."

She huffs out a sigh of frustration, "I want this. I want you."

"I know, baby. Why don't we try something else? How about you get on top?"

When she nods, he rolls over onto his back and pulls her with him, letting her sit in his lap. She kneels up and takes his hands, placing them on her hips and he supports her as she gradually sinks down a few inches on his cock.

"How's it feel?"

"It's… I'm okay, just need a second."

Fitz lies perfectly still beneath her, patiently waiting for her to adjust to him as he massages her hip creases with his thumbs. Olivia begins to move, her hands slide along his forearms to grip them for stability.

"You're so, so good to me." She gazes down at him with a soft smile, biting on her lower lip. "So patient. So loving…"

It's then that she leans down to kiss him because she needs to, claiming his mouth with hers so passionately it makes him growl deep in his throat.

Their lovemaking is sensual and slow. They never stop kissing, even when they're both breathless, panting, gasping for air, and falling apart together. Their lips finally part when they're sated and sweaty, basking in their post-coital glow. His arms fold her into his chest and he sighs contentedly, breathing in the scent of her hair.

"Missed holding you."

It breaks her heart a little to hear him say it. She pulls her head out of the crook of his neck and lifts her hand up to cup his jaw.

"I wish you'd told me you were feeling like this."

His eyes drift open and he stares at her for a long moment. "Sometimes I just - I don't want to scare you away."

"I know… I'm sorry." She murmurs, her expression tainted with guilt. "I don't want you to be walking on eggshells around me, we're in this together and we should be communicating better than this."

"Yeah, we should."

"I love you, okay? I know I don't say it often, but I do." She pauses, breathing out unsteadily as she caresses his cheek with her thumb. "I want you to be able to believe me when I tell you that I'm not going to run."

"I do–"

"You don't and it's okay, I understand why."

He sighs deeply, flattening his palms against the base of her back. "I want to, Liv. I thought that finally being able to build a life with you and wake up next to you almost every day…"

"You thought all those fears would disappear."

"I feel stupid."

"You're not stupid. You're idealistic and that's not a bad thing."

"Sure." Fitz scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"Hey –" Olivia pinches his chin between her thumb and forefinger to make him meet her gaze. "I love that about you, Fitz. You have all these dreams and sometimes I brush you off because they don't seem tangible, but you prove me wrong."

"Not always."

"No, but you built our house in Vermont and you said one day we'd live there together, and now we do," She says softly but can see from the look in his eyes he's still not convinced, "Just because it's not exactly how you dreamed it would be doesn't mean it's wrong or bad. We've still got time – a lifetime together. We'll work at this and figure it out."

He exhales a muted sigh, "You're right, of course you're right."

"I always am." A gentle smile touches her lips but there's still sadness and deep-rooted concern in her eyes.

"I meant what I said before, we should start by taking some time off. Maybe we could fly out to California for a long weekend."

"Mmm, sounds perfect," She skims a hand over his chest as she exhales contentedly, "God, I really needed that."

"Sex?"

"Mmm. I missed it."

"Yeah? Me too," He pauses for a moment, threading his fingers in her hair, "How was it? Did I hurt y–"

"No," She immediately cuts him off, not allowing that thought to take root in his head, "It was uncomfortable at first, I've been really tense lately but you made me feel so good."

He's silent for a moment and then he announces quietly, "I'm gonna cancel my workout in the afternoon."

"Why?"

"I haven't been taking good enough care of you and you deserve to be pampered. So… Tomorrow I'm going to give you a long-overdue massage, then later, you and I can go for dinner at that French bistro you love."

"Good food and even better sex? Sign me up."

"Who said anything about sex?" A look of faux innocence spreads across Fitz's face.

"You really thought you could get me naked, put your hands all over me, and not make me come?" Olivia's tongue brushes at the corner of her lips and she fixes him with a skeptical glare. "It's not fair to tease me like that, baby."

He flips her onto her back, softly pinning her beneath him. "You love it. Don't tell me you don't."

Her eyes roll but she can't suppress the soft sigh that sounds from her throat when his lips caress her neck.

"You wanna go again?"

"It's late…" She wriggles free from his embrace and lingers in the doorway to the bathroom in all her naked glory. "But you could join me in the shower if you want to."

A wolfish grin tugs at the corners of his mouth as he leaps out of bed, prowling towards her. Before she even has a chance to turn the water on he pounces on her; her airy giggles that he's missed hearing so much fill every inch of him with warmth and adoration.

As she loops her arms around his neck and lets him press her against the tiled wall with feverish kisses, one thought runs through his mind: God, I can't wait to marry you.