Two years later - June 10th, 2001
Hermione and Tessa's flat
"You can do it, come on, just one more, come, come to aunt Mi." Hermione is sitting on the floor, her arms open and a big smile on her face as she watches the little girl in front of her trying to walk. Rachel has been a little daredevil lately, not afraid of falling on her butt or on her face, she keeps getting up and standing on her chubby feet to explore the world. So far she was able to take two steps before crumbling down. She never cries, instead, whenever she falls, Rachel giggles. For Hermione this sincere reaction is what makes her Tessa's daughter more than anything else. "Yes, there you go, sweetie." Another tiny step, her black curls moving with her head as she's determined to reach her destination: her godmother. Another step and then she falls forward into Hermione's arms. Both giggle.
Hermione kisses Rachel's cheek, making noises and tickling her slightly. "There you go, Rachel Potter! In a week you'll be running!" Hermione stands up with the girl in her arms. "Your mum is finally getting home tomorrow and she'll be over the moon!"
She can't help being overexcited with everything related to Rachel. Hermione was there from the beginning. The day Tessa found out she was pregnant their lives changed completely. Tessa was sure about having the baby and Hermione would never let her cousin go through this alone… especially being Harry's daughter. Every doctor's appointment Hermione was there. She was there when they discovered the baby was going to be a girl; she was there when Tessa freaked out about a few contractions; she was there when Tessa gave birth. Hermione held Rachel in her arms while Tessa cried about not having Harry there; Hermione did her best to build a bridge between Tessa and Leonard, even if he ignored all her attempts; Hermione helped Tessa in settling in with the baby; helped her change diapers and feeding; helped her lulling the little girl; helped with baths and everything else necessary. Even with her crazy hours at the Hospital, Hermione never resented the extra hours taking care of Rachel. And after a while, when Tessa decided she wanted to be a professional photographer and had to travel around to succeed, Hermione didn't think twice, of course she could take care of Rachel alone for a few days every month.
She raises her head from the book on the table, the loud crack getting her attention. "Hello girls!" Ron comes to them, a grocery bag in his arms. He kisses Hermione on the lips and Rachel on the head. Extending her hands to Ron, she shrieks a little, wanting him. They laugh and trade, Hermione gets his bag and he holds Rachel. "So, have you heard anything?" Ron asks her as he throws Rachel in the air, catching her right after, making her giggle louder.
"Don't do that!" Hermione chastises him. "Honestly!" Ron laughs and stops, which earns him a little pout from Rachel. "No, I haven't. Have you?" She tries hiding her anxiousness. The special Auror training ended a few days ago and word is that the Aurors should be coming back any time now. Since Ginny works at the Ministry, she may know something…
"Actually I have. He arrives today."
Hermione freezes, the egg cartoon Ron bought in her hand. She gaps at him. "Today?" Her voice is thin. Harry. She misses him immensely. So much it's even a little ridiculous how her heart starts pounding in her chest. He'll at last meet his daughter and reunite with Tessa. Hermione shakes her head. "That's amazing. It's a shame Tessa comes back only tomorrow."
"Do you think he's coming after you?" Hermione knows so. But she shrugs at his question. She glances at her wrist watch and grunts.
"I need to go or else I'll be late." She starts fetching her things around the place. Today is the final exam of the internship, she's finally graduating. "Thank you again for taking care of her, Ron." She kisses him briefly. Then she hugs Rachel and is ready to leave, but Ron stops her.
"Hermione," he holds her arm, his eyes serious, "now that he's finally back, we're talking about us, aren't we?"
She stops herself from having a negative reaction. Her relationship with Ron is… arduous. The moment she got back from Paris, two years ago, she immediately sought him out. After a long and exhausting conversation, he promised things would be different, promised they wouldn't fight about everything and he would stop being jealous of her own shadow. And for a while things were great, but then, when Hermione said Tessa and her baby were going to be a priority for her, at least until Harry got back, Ron didn't like it at all. He wanted to live together and get married, he wanted them to start their own lives, but Hermione couldn't do that. Tessa needed her. She was carrying Harry's baby… But now, Harry is back and him and Tessa will finally get the chance to live their love, to build their family, to take care of their daughter. Ignoring the pain in her chest - because of Rachel, I'm going to miss living with her - she slowly nods to Ron.
"Yes. I promise." He smiles and they share another kiss.
Trying not to think about how Harry being back is going to change everything, she apparates to the Hospital.
St. Mungo's
He sighs, exhausted. The healer leaves a prescription for a potion he must drink at least for three days and exits the room. Harry lies back on the little bed, his eyes on the ceiling and his mind considering his options. It's common practice for the Aurors to arrive from this special training and head immediately to the Hospital. They need to do a full check up after years of isolation and extreme conditions. There's nothing wrong with Harry, but the healer said he should take the potion to regulate his sleep now that he's back. In a way Harry agrees. He has no idea how he'll be able to shut down his body and mind.
It's strange to be home.
And to think that life kept on after he left two years ago is frightening. He thought about Tessa almost every day. After one week in training he regretted his decision of leaving her, but, even so, it didn't cross his mind abandoning the training. He often wondered if she'd found someone, if she had moved on from him and their story. It guts him to think about it, but now that he's back, he's ready to face reality, ready to face her and fight for them.
Sitting back on the bed, his thoughts go to Hermione. He's not proud of how he left her the burden of telling Tessa he was gone, but he would've trusted his life in her hands… and she can't still be angry at me, can she? He decides his best option is seeking her first. Not only to talk about Tessa, but because he misses her so much it's a little crazy. He realized since they met they've never stayed this much without talking or seeing each other. But in a way Hermione was with him all the time, at each mission or extreme exercise, her voice was inside his head helping him, her rationality and support giving him strength to push through the training.
Opening the door of the room he goes straight to a counter of healers and helpers on the floor. He asks about her. A man, probably in his mid-thirties, says she must be finishing her final exam by now, at the second floor. Harry thanks him and, holding the sleeping potion in his hand, goes downstairs after her.
She's getting a headache later. No doubt. It was the hardest exam she took in her entire life. She dreads she might have flunked it. Don't be crazy. Of course she didn't. Pressing two fingers against her temple she walks in the hallway, her destination the cafeteria. I really need some coffee. Two weeks into the internship Hermione realized there was no way of doing it without a ridiculous amount of caffeine. Now she's addicted to it. She's so distracted reviewing the answers inside her head that she misses the tall and broad man in black walking directly to her. But maybe even if she was looking at him she wouldn't recognize her best friend.
She only feels his arms around her and shrieks, startled. She has no idea who's hugging her this tightly, lifting her from the floor, but his smell is unmistakable, she would recognize it anywhere. Automatically her arms go around his neck and she squeezes him, shutting her eyes and crying a few tears.
"I missed you so much!" He says, his voice sounding different from the last time she heard him. Stronger, deeper. "Shit, now I'm crying." He chuckles, still holding her and she laughs out loud, happy to be with him. Their voices filling the hallway.
"I missed you too." She presses her cheek against his and after a long moment he lets her go. Hermione measures him up when she's back on the floor. He's changed… a lot. Strong arms, wide chest, longer hair, glasses gone. Extremely different from the lean young man who traveled with her to Paris two years ago. "You look good." She teases him, her smile as wide as possible, the exam forgotten for good.
"You think?" He raises an eyebrow and jokingly flexes one of his arms. She chuckles and slaps his chest. His hard chest. She clears her throat. "Tell me everything!" He opens his arms. "How you've been? The internship? Your parents? Your love life? Your-"
He's rambling and she cuts him. "Stop." He shuts his mouth immediately. "I'm your best friend, Harry. I'm glad you're okay and safe and sound, but I do know there's something else you want to ask me. And it comes before all these other questions about my life." He looks down, a little ashamed. She smiles. "It's okay, really, I understand. Come," She takes his hand, "I need some coffee."
As they sit and sip on their coffees, Hermione tries deciding what to do. Tell him about Rachel? Wait for Tessa to come back and then she tells him?
Harry is smiling at her. "Look, yes, I want to know about Tessa. Of course I do." He's nervous, his legs going up and down frenetically under the table. "But I want to know about you too. There's no rush. I mean… how angry at me were you?" She rolls her eyes, the anger from the day she found his little note coming back to her. "That much, huh?" He leans over the table, his voice lower and she leans a little to hear him. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?" They chuckle, she knows he's joking to lighten the mood, but she fears she might blush nonetheless. Dismissing his words with her hand, she says:
"I was glad you were actually gone, because if I'd found that note before you left I think I might have murdered you." She snorts. "No, it's okay, Harry. I understood you back then and I still do. I don't have to agree with your decisions, but I know why you had to go." He looks down. "Tessa didn't take it as well as I did." She sees him gulping and she takes another sip of her hot coffee. She decides putting him out of his misery. "She's not with anyone. She waited for you all these years." It swells her heart to see his glum face brightening up. He opens his widest smile, so full of teeth and so sincere. Hermione notices this one is only for Tessa. And now maybe for Rachel too.
"She did?" He seems baffled. "Merlin. I was so afraid I'd ruined everything." He laughs, joyous. "That's amazing!" He looks around, almost not believing it. "Where is she?"
"We live together, actually." He raises both eyebrows now. "Here, in London."
"She's here?" Harry looks like a little kid who parents took to Disney World as a birthday gift and everything is just incredible, even the eccentric trash cans.
"Yes, but right now she's traveling. Tess is a photographer and she often takes her car and heads to different places to take her photos. But she's coming back tomorrow. Or maybe even tonight if she already found what she was looking for."
He nods, still smiling. "I'll talk to her as soon as she gets back." He reaches over the table and takes her hand. "Thank you, for everything, Hermione."
She squeezes his hand and releases it. "You don't have to thank me, Harry. You know that."
"I do, but I want to. So, tell me everything about your life."
She exhales. "Well, what can I say? The internship was everything I dreamed it would be, but I'm glad it's finally over and in a few weeks I'll get my clearance and become a healer. My parents stayed in Paris, but I'm happy for it because whenever I visit I get to see the Seine and the Eiffel Tower." She shrugs. "And things between me and Ron are great."
Harry purses his lips. "Still together, huh?" Something in the way he says it bothers her.
"Ow there, don't be so supportive." She says ironically. "Things changed when I got back from Paris. We talked a lot and he changed. We grew stronger in our relationship and I'm glad we tried. I love him." She's not sure why she's reassuring herself out loud, as if she needs to say these things to Harry, convince him that being with Ron is the best thing even when she doubts it herself.
He raises his hands, surrendering.
"Sorry. If you say things changed I believe you. I just want you to be happy."
"What about your relationship with him Harry? Are you trying to fix things?"
"Why should I be the one going after him?" He crosses his arms.
"Fine. Whatever." She's had enough of this. "Tell me about your training."
"It was… brutal. But in a way necessary and very enlightening." He takes a sip. "I mean, the first year was sheer torture, I didn't have the physical conditions to go through what they wanted, but then I got stronger and things started to seem easy. Casting difficult spells is ridiculous now, I could beat you easily in a duel." He teases her and she chuckles.
"I wouldn't be so sure." She narrows her eyes.
"What about everyone else? Ginny? Draco?"
"Ginny got a good position at the Ministry, but she works hard, the crazy hours are killing her. Draco is playing Quidditch… and they're a couple now." She waits for his reaction, maybe some indication of what he felt for Ginny… but there's nothing there. Nothing at all.
"Seriously? Well, that's surprising. Ron accepts it?" He looks intrigued.
"It's been a year already and I don't think Ron is ever going to be okay with it, but Ginny is happy, so, I think all the family is trying to ignore the fact that he's a Malfoy."
"But he changed a lot after the war ended. And Draco promised himself he would never do something he didn't want to again. If he's with Ginny he really loves her."
She nods. "I agree. I support them one hundred percent." She glances at her watch. She needs to go, Ron is heading back to the joke shop soon and someone needs to take care of Rachel. "I need to go." Harry frowns.
"Yeah, okay. Let's go." He stands up and waits, it hits her that he wants to go with her… what about Rachel? She knows Tess should be the one to tell him, but now that he's here it's almost impossible to hide- "What's the matter?"
"Sure you want to go with me? Ron is there." She leaves out the important information on the why he's there.
"So what he's there? It's been two years, Hermione. I missed you." She gets what he means, she did too.
Coming closer to him, she puts one arm around his waist and nods at him, their eyes communicating without words.
She apparates tagging him along. They stand in front of her door. Turning to him, she says:
"There's something you need to know, Harry." His face grow serious. She wants to tell him before they go inside. "Two weeks after you left, Tessa and I moved here. And we thought things would be simple, but…" She trails, still unsure if she should be the one telling him this.
"What?" He urges her, one hand on her arm.
"She found out she was pregnant." Hermione blurts out and watches his face change from surprise to confusion and then realization.
"Mine?" His voice is thin, almost inexistent. Hermione nods and he opens his mouth, baffled, shocked, unsure. She waits for it to sink into him, waits for the information to make real sense. She's not sure how long he stays there moving his head from one side to another, running his hands through his hair. He closes his eyes and when he opens them next, they tell Hermione he wants to know everything but he's not sure how to ask.
"You have a daughter, Harry. Rachel. She was born on April 5th last year." Hermione holds him as his legs give in a little. Harry leans on the wall. "Ron is watching her right now. She's amazing, smart and curious and a copy of you and Tessa."
He shakes his head, his mouth hanging open again and she realizes he won't be able to say a thing. So, she opens the door and enters the flat.
"Hey, love, finally." Ron comes to her and immediately sees Harry standing outside. "Oh, Harry. I- you're back, mate." Harry automatically nods in answer.
"Where's Rachel?" Hermione asks, Ron's eyes go from her back to Harry, understanding she already told him everything.
"She just had a bottle and fell asleep. Look, I really need to go." Ron kisses her. Harry is watching them, probably with his mind on another world as Ron goes past him. "See you later?" Hermione nods and he disappears.
"Harry." She calls him back to earth. "Are you coming?"
She's nervous now that he's walking inside the flat. Nervous she did the wrong thing telling him. Nervous about the way he's going to fully receive this responsibility of being a father, of having this throw at him like that. Nervous about the guilty he's going to feel for leaving two years ago and missing this time with Tessa and their daughter. But there's nothing she can do now, just introduce Harry to Rachel.
She takes his hand, guiding him to the little room Rachel occupies. But Harry tugs her hand, stopping both. "I- Hermione," His voice is so thin he looks like a child all over again. "What am I suppose to do?"
She smiles fondly. "You don't have to do anything, Harry. Just love her. The rest will come naturally." He runs his free hand through his hair, exhaling heavily. She can tell he's sweating from nervousness, his palm is moist against hers. She tries calming him. "I know you're not going to ask why no one told you. I know you have the notion of what happened and please Harry, don't stress about it, okay? Tessa understood the situation and she never held it against you. Now," She steps closer to him, "you're here, finally. And this is something good and wonderful, something that will give your life a whole new purpose and happiness, I'm sure of it."
"What if she doesn't get used to me? What if she cries when I hold her and-"
"Hey," She puts a hand over his chest, almost above his erratic heart, "She will love you. You're an amazing friend, Harry. I can only imagine the incredible father you're going to be. And don't worry, Tessa will be here with you, guiding you." He takes a deep breath and she waits patiently, feeling his heartbeat under her palm.
"Okay, okay." He nods and she smiles, pulling him to the room.
Rachel is sucking on her pacifier and holding a piece of cloth against the side of her face, something she never sleeps without. Her black hair is all over the place and she's making tiny endearing sounds as she probably dreams about her favorite teddy bear. Harry stays frozen besides her crib, crying a little, but Hermione is sure his tears are from pure love. She doesn't say a thing and leaves the room, sure he barely notices she's not there anymore.
Hermione sighs the moment she reaches the living room, her heart tight inside her chest. She can't tell what she's feeling. Happiness because Harry and Tessa will be able to live their love; sadness because she knows there's no room for her anymore in Rachel's life, at least not the way it has been so far; relief because in a way she'll be able to concentrate entirely on her own life, able to sleep properly and dedicate herself to the healer career and… Ron. She's sure he's asking her to move in with him as soon as they meet later.
As she starts preparing lunch, she lets her mind wander to this place she's been ignoring for the past two years: her relationship with Ron and what she really wants from it. To live together is a big step and the one after that is marriage. She freezes. Do I want to marry him? Spend the rest of our lives together? She thinks about her own parents. They've been married for a long time now and it seems like their marriage is solid and filled with love. Hermione admires them. She knows it takes a lot to maintain a relationship, especially hers with Ron. But yeah, I love him. She shakes her head, remembering her own words a long time ago before she left to find her parents: 'Maybe only love is not enough.' And she still believes that, so… What changed? At the time, before leaving for Paris, she was almost sure her relationship with Ron was over, but then-
Harry enters the kitchen. With Rachel in his arms. He's holding her a little awkwardly, of course, but yet- "She woke up and I- I just thought she wanted someone to hold her. She kept looking at me." He says looking at the little girl in his arms, who is still half asleep, not quite understanding what's going on. But her eyes are glued on Harry, as if she knows he's her father. Hermione realizes her face is wet and she brushes away her tears, smiling. "Her eyes." Harry states. "They're so beautiful." Indeed. Rachel got a mixture from his green and Tessa's deep blue, leaving her with a shade of gray, deep blue around the corners and then close to the pupil, a light green.
Rachel moves her head and finally spots Hermione. She shrieks and babbles, her arms in front of her as she leans forward wanting her godmother. Harry smiles with the corner of his mouth, understanding and getting closer to Hermione. "Hey, sweetie." Hermione takes her and Harry just stands there, watching both, his face strange. "I'm her godmother, you know?"
"I had no doubt."
Hermione has no idea why, but it's the first uncomfortable moment they share since she reunited with Harry at the Hospital. It's like they're frozen in place staring at each other, Rachel with her head on Hermione's shoulder already going back to sleep. She thinks they might not be breathing. But then the smell of something burning reaches them and she snaps out of it.
"Our lunch!" She shrieks with Rachel in her arms and turns off the stove. Then their laughter fills the place, Rachel giggling with them and clumsily clapping her little hands, having no clue of what just happened.
"Well," Harry leans over, looking at the burnt food. "Takeaway?"
After two years of running around in the middle of the jungle or the desert, to be able to sit down on the floor and watch his daughter as she tries to walk is almost as unbelievable as confronting Voldemort's Avada Kedrava and surviving, not just once, but twice. My daughter. Harry sometimes discreetly pinches himself, it still feels like a dream. To be honest since he met Hermione at the Hospital he feels like he's dreaming. It was exhilarating and strange to see her. He can't deny Hermione changed a lot, it's like two years were able to change her more than the first eight years of their entire friendship. She's even more confident and adult.
He glances over at the door of her room. She's getting ready for a night out with Ron. They were going to meet at the flat and stay in, but now that Harry can take care of Rachel, they decided they should enjoy the opportunity. Hermione asked at least five times if Harry was okay with it, because it would be no problem at all for her to stay. He shook his head and said it was fine… and he wants to be alone with Rachel. I mean, how hard can it be to take care of her for a few hours? He already lost more than a year. Hermione went over explanations a dozen times: keep the pacifier close, don't forget to change her diaper, give her the bottle and lull her into sleep, and don't you ever, not even for a second, take your eyes off her. He nodded and rushed her over to get ready.
It's been a surreal day. He keeps thinking about Tessa. About their reunion and everything they need to talk about and every time he looks at Rachel he wants to laugh out loud of sheer joy. When he left two years ago, he imagined he'd lost his shot at happiness, imagined Tessa would stay with her father and follow the lawyer career he had laid out for her. But no. She left Paris and waited for him. She came to London and gave birth to this little human that Harry's sure he loves more than anything else in the world. Hermione asked him earlier if he's staying at Grimmauld, but he doubts it, he wants to wait for Tessa to decide, maybe they can even get a place of their own. He desperately wants to.
The loud crack startles him. Ron is in the middle of the room, dressed so finely Harry doubts it's the same Ron he knows. "Ow, fancy." He says and Ron looks down at him and Rachel. The little girl tries walking to him, but the moment she falls on all fours she crawls to him and Ron takes her in his arms. Harry sets his jaw. He was here all this time. It unsettles him more than he would like to admit.
"Right? It's a big night… I don't want to ruin it." Harry raises an eyebrow and gets up from the floor.
"Big night?" It's odd how they're almost strangers to each other now even after everything they went through as kids. But it doesn't surprise Harry. Ron always found something to fight about.
"Yeah, I-" He takes a deep breath. "You think she'll say yes?"
It takes a second for Harry to comprehend what he's asking. He blinks a few times and before he answers, Hermione comes into the living room. She looks absolutely stunning. She's naturally beautiful, but when she actually cares about her looks she really brings out all her beauty, not only her exterior beauty, but her inner beauty also. At least that's how Harry sees it. Ron hands Rachel to him and goes to Hermione, kissing her.
"You look gorgeous." Harry sees her blushing a little and he purses his lips. He never felt entirely comfortable when witnessing Ron and Hermione's interactions as a couple. Maybe because they're too close as friends.
"Thank you." She looks at herself, the black dress and high heels perfect. "I mean, it's a big night, right? The internship is finally over and we can celebrate properly!" Ron agrees and takes her hand, Harry watches his thumb going over her skin. She turns to Harry and he knows she's about to go over all her warnings again.
"I know." He stops her. "Don't worry. Have a great night. We'll be fine."
She looks anxious. "Are you sure? We can stay-"
"Hermione," Ron cuts her. "Harry wants to be with his daughter and I would love a night out with my girlfriend." He sounds annoyed.
"Of course, of course, love. Let's go." They intertwine their fingers and Harry nods at them just before they disappear.
Harry sighs and widens his eyes as Rachel babbles a little. It sounds a lot like 'Mi'. He smiles and kisses her little head.
He never felt this happy.