July 31st, 2002

The sound is far away, but he's sure there's something happening. Harry opens his eyes slowly, frustrated because he wants to sleep more. The sun is shining inside his room and he glances at the door. It's closed, but the sound is coming from there, a soft rhythm he recognizes. He frowns. What song is this? What's going on? Without putting on a t-shirt and only in his boxers he gets up rubbing his eyes and yawning. His hair is a mess and he's sure his face doesn't look so good either, but when he opens the door, Rachel yells 'Dada' and hugs his legs. There's a cake right in front of him and Hermione is singing 'Happy Birthday to yooou, Happy Birthday dear Dadaaa…"

He snorts a chuckle. He totally forgot about his birthday. "Make a wish." Hermione says, her eyes bright as she holds the cake and stares at him with a wide smile. He smiles back and seizes Rachel, kissing her chubby cheek. She mumbles something very close to 'happy birthday' too.

"I love you, baby girl." He kisses her again.

His eyes go back to Hermione now and he holds her gaze as he blows the candle. His wish of happiness soaring inside his chest. Hermione's smile gets wider and he watches as her gaze falls to his bare chest… and lower. But she looks back up fast enough. "Let's eat some cake, birthday boy." He nods, his eyes fixed on that adorable blush that is coming up her neck. He feels smug enough. It's rare for them to see each other without clothes even living together… they respect each other's space too much for that. Harry considers fetching a t-shirt, but he shrugs, she was the one who woke him up… and he's curious to see how she'll react while he walks around only in his boxers.

It's his birthday after all, he's allowed to be a little devilish.

He enters the kitchen with Rachel clapping her hands, excited about the cake, Harry puts her down and his daughter walks fast to the nearest stool, waiting for her slice. He chuckles. Then he notices Hermione standing frozen in place, the knife about to cut the cake, but her eyes on him. On his body. He tries not looking too satisfied with himself and she clears her throat and shakes her head, she's about to cut the cake now, but he stops her.

"Hey! It's my birthday. I should be the one cutting the cake." He comes up to stand behind her and Harry actually sees all her muscles tensing as he stands there. It's hot enough inside the flat and Hermione is wearing a light dress, the straps very thin. His eyes fall on her smooth nape exposed by her tied up hair… and down… he reaches for the knife and she inhales sharply when his hand closes around hers. He takes a step closer to her. His chest touching the bit of her back that is exposed and he tightens his grip on the knife. Hermione is breathing hard and he can barely think as he feels her skin against his. Oh shit, I shouldn't be doing this. But he seems unable to stop. His other hand circles her, gently bringing her body to his by the waist. Hermione doesn't put up any kind of resistance. He bites his lip and motions his hand to cut the cake, both of them doing it together, their breathes mingling, their hearts beating faster, exploding inside their chests. "Thank you, for this." His voice is barely there. Hermione turns her head, their eyes locked, their noses brushing against each other. Is this it? Are we kissing? He knows he wants to. He looks down at her mouth and then-

A bucket of ice water falls over him as Hermione laughs and Rachel giggles. "You're welcome." Hermione says mischievously, her eyes glinting in amusement as he gasps. He's drenched. She puts some distance between them and comes to stand by Rachel. "What?" She asks. "Come on, it's just a little birthday prank." She shrugs. "But as a healer I suggest you go put some clothes on. You don't want to get a cold, do you?" He can see how she expertly found a way of making him dress and he can't help smiling at her, his head nodding in agreement. He doesn't say another word as he heads to his room. But there's still a smile on his face when he comes out of it all dressed and dry.

Hermione and Rachel are sharing a piece of cake. "So," Hermione asks as he enters the kitchen again and sits down in front of them, "How do you wanna spend your day?"

Harry grunts. He hates birthdays. They were always a bad memory until he met his friends and discovered this could be a day filled with good things. But his first reaction is always to ignore it fiercely. "Maybe we can stay in?" He shrugs. "I mean, there's nothing special I wanna do." Being there with them is special enough for him.

"Look, if that's what you want…" Hermione is unsure, "I have the night shift today, maybe we can just take Rachel to the playground and head to a restaurant on Diagon Alley or something, what do you think?" He raises an eyebrow at that, Hermione usually prefers staying on muggle London if possible, but her plan seems just fine, so, he agrees. She smiles at him and they prepare to leave.

It wasn't hard convincing Harry on doing what she had planned. They had a blast at the playground as Hermione made Harry play tag with them. He won, obviously. But the smile on his face was her main goal anyway. Then she dragged him to the restaurant where Draco and Ginny were already waiting. Harry widened his eyes at her and shook his head, but she could tell he was happy enough. They had an amazing time, laughing and talking about life and then singing 'happy birthday' again, the restaurant more than eager to please Harry Potter on his birthday. She had just one beer while Harry had a few too many.

And now, while they enter their flat with a sleeping and exhausted Rachel, Hermione resents the fact that she needs to go to St. Mungo's for her shift. She would stay with him if she had a choice. Harry is clearly drunk, but in a good way, happy, free. He's mumbling the 'happy birthday' song and as soon as he enters the place he lies down on the couch. Hermione takes Rachel to her room, settling her down and watching her sleep for a while. The little girl seems as happy as her father and Hermione is just bursting with a good feeling, a warm and welcoming feeling she can't quite describe.

She finally heads to her room and fetches her things, ready to leave, but there's still something she needs to give Harry. He's sitting on the couch now and he lifts his head to look at her, his smile widening when he notices what she's holding.

"Rachel chose it?" He asks.

"Yes."

She moves closer to him and extends the green balloon. Harry takes it and Hermione notices the little glint in his eyes, his mind seems far away as he stays there with the balloon in his hand. Hermione wonders if he's thinking about Tessa. If he thinks about how it should be Tessa the one giving him the gift their daughter chose for him. She suddenly feels bad. Lowering her eyes she clears her throat and his attention goes back to her.

"I should go. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

He just nods and she moves to take her healer's coat that she insists on leaving by a chair in the living room. She's not paying attention to Harry so she can't help gasping when he takes her hand.

"You do know how much you mean to me, don't you?" He asks in a low voice, his eyes on their hands. He's been worried about this since the day he said they should visit Tessa together, like he fears she might not completely grasp his words.

"I do, Harry." She says as softly as possible and he nods.

It takes her by surprise when he hugs her. His arms on her waist, hers instinctively around his neck. He lifts her slightly from the floor and kisses her shoulder, giving her goosebumps. She can't control her own hands while they touch his soft hair. He squeezes her like a hungry man who found food after days of starvation. Hermione closes her eyes and allows this moment to unfold. Hugging is something they're used to, something natural. But she can't deny how such an innocent gesture escalated on these past months. They don't hug for support anymore, not even in a way of greeting or thanking. They hug because they need to feel the other, they hug because it's the closest they dare when it comes to their hidden desires. They hug to drown into the scent of each other. They hug to use it as an excuse to kiss the other in places they normally wouldn't, exactly as she does right now as she kisses his neck. He kisses her shoulder again and his hands move lower on her back. She sighs as he inhales her perfume. She knows this is getting out of control and she tries moving away, but he kisses her neck, his lips slightly open and moving up, his stubble making her toes curl. She fists his hair. He kisses her neck again. Move, Hermione. Do something, anything. But she fails miserably on this thought when he kisses her jaw. And now he's so close to her mouth she can faintly smell the beer on his breath and that's what shakes her out of this madness. He's a little drunk, not entirely sure of what he's doing.

She shoves him, not too strong but not too gently either. He looks at her, baffled. "I need to go." She says, not waiting for a response. "Happy Birthday, Harry." Then, she's gone.

August 20th, 2002

It's an utter surprise when Hermione fumbles through their door. He looks up from the photos he's been observing and puts them down, his eyebrows up as she laughs like a madwoman when she steps inside. He recognizes she's drunk. But he has no reaction, this is so unusual he's not sure what to do.

"Hermione?" He calls to her and her head snaps to him, a huge smile on her face.

"Harry!" She really yells and he flinches. She doesn't say anything else, but he can tell she's humming a song. She tries locking the door and he lets her as a smile spreads across his face. It's 7pm and she must have been in some kind of happy hour from St. Mungo's. She frequently goes to those, but she never gets drunk, so it's only natural his curiosity spikes the moment she gives up on locking the door.

"Why is it so difficult?" She asks no one in particular as she throws her keys on the floor. Harry laughs out loud.

"It's actually not, you're just too drunk."

She looks at him indignantly. "Am not!" Then she giggles. "Maybe a little."

Hermione settles down on the new armchair they bought a few weeks ago. It's incredibly comfortable and she sighs, closing her eyes. Harry tilts his head, watching her. "Are you telling me what happened?" She opens her eyes fast.

"What? Nothing happened. Why do you ask? Things are great! Fine! Everything is just amazing!"

He frowns. Her necessity of hiding whatever it is that happened annoying him. But he shrugs. If she doesn't want to tell him there's nothing he can do about it… maybe it's something about Ned. Something he doesn't need to know, unless they broke up? He feels ashamed of how much he wants it to be true. But she surely would tell him, wouldn't she? His heart beats faster at the idea of Hermione being single. He still sees Sofia from time to time, but they never came close to having a real relationship and it seems to him that Hermione has been with Ned for far too long. They're bound to end someday, right? Or is she getting married to him? The thought throws him back to a day that feels in another life when Ron was about to ask Hermione to marry him. Harry gulps. He called them home that night because he couldn't put Rachel to sleep on his own and he's sure that if that hadn't happened, Hermione might be married to Ron now. The idea is so wrong he rejects it immediately.

"I love Rachel so much it hurts me." Hermione says out of the blue and he focus on her. She's serious now. "I would give my life for hers." Harry nods, he totally understands the feeling, he would do the same without batting an eye. "I hope she feels safe here, I hope we're giving her the possibly best she could have." He frowns. Why is she saying this? "I want her to feel loved, to feel like she belongs, like she's the most precious little girl in the world."

He narrows his eyes at her. Those are things he's sure they don't even need to voice, things that are in their souls as they do their best to take care of Rachel.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" He tries again.

She just shakes her head. "Nothing, Harry."

He gets up and she does too, fast, ready to flee. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." She snaps and moves past him, her feet fast as she reaches her bedroom and closes the door.

Harry sighs. There's nothing left for him to do than fetch her keys and lock the door.

September 20th, 2002

I have so many things to tell you, Tess, I don't even know where to begin. Yesterday was my birthday and I decided on spending it with Noah. I don't think Harry took it very well, but Noah is my boyfriend and he'd been talking about a trip he wanted to take for at least two months. And to be honest it was amazing, we had a wonderful time together. There was no way I would refuse his request, especially because… it's so hard to talk about this, but Noah got an unique opportunity of transferring to another country, to be more precise, France. He told me a month ago and he asked me to go with him. He said there was no way the Hospital there wouldn't accept the best Healer of our generation: me. The tricky thing is… I feel tempted to say 'yes'. I haven't given him an answer yet because I feel so guilty for wanting this… I would have better opportunities there, chances of growing and learning, chances of even studying the field I'm most interested in, can you guess what it is? Neurology. Not to mention that my parents are there, I would see them frequently, I would live with Noah and…

He's leaving next year, on September. Yeah, I know I still have an entire year to decide but I keep thinking about Rachel, about what it would mean if I left with Noah because I have no idea for how long we would stay there, maybe a week, maybe forever. It's unclear. I don't want to leave her. She feels like my daughter, Tess, but at the same time I know she isn't, I know she'll be safe with her father, with Harry. I know he's more than capable of taking care of her, they've fallen into an easy routine and beautiful relationship filled with respect and love.

And how would I tell Harry about this? It's hard just thinking about it, it's impossible to imagine his reaction… I don't know what to do. I even considered asking him to come with me. Him and Rachel. But I know it wouldn't happen. And it would be incredibly selfish of me to ask him that, especially with you here at St. George's.

Maybe I'm stressing about it too much, too soon. I won't tell Harry until I've made a decision.

He knocks on her door. It's pretty late already and they haven't talked since she arrived from her little trip with Ned. He's trying not to think about it, but he still can't believe she chose her boyfriend over him and Rachel. He takes a deep breath, he doesn't want to be an ass about this.

Hermione opens the door and gives him a small smile. He opens his arms and she falls into him. "Happy Birthday." He says even if it was yesterday. She thanks him and disentangles herself from him too fast for his liking, but he doesn't say anything, he just steps into the room and summons, with a little wandless magic, the balloon Rachel chose for her 'mama'.

"Uh, red?" Hermione asks in amusement as she takes it from his hand. Harry can see the yellow one from last year pressed against her ceiling.

"Yeah, you know, I think she wanted to innovate." They chuckle and suddenly he's unsure of what to do, he pockets his hands and Hermione watches him, the balloon already floating, stopping next to the other one. He can see her small suitcase open on the bed and he gulps, trying not to blush when his eyes fall on some lingerie she was putting away. He grits his teeth, not sure if he's mad jealous of Ned or just feeling hot from the mental image he makes of Hermione in those white lacy almost non-existing underwear. She doesn't notice his gaze as she's distract looking down, thinking. He clears his throat. "So, how was your trip?" He tries not sounding too bitter, but he knows he does.

"It was… amazing, actually." She crosses her arms, ready to take whatever he's about to say.

"I'm glad. I mean, you deserved some time away, you've been working like crazy." He says, but his heart aches. He wished her trip had been terrible. He wanted her to yearn for the moment she would be back home with them. But apparently that's far from reality. By looking at her Harry can assume she wanted to stay longer. And that gives him a sick feeling to his stomach. He wants her to miss him. Wants her to miss Rachel. He wished she could stay with them and never leave, never look at Ned again.

"Yeah, I guess." She sighs. "I'm really working a lot lately, but I enjoy it, you know? Being a healer is… important to me." She says this with such conviction and emotion that he nods.

"I know. And I find it beautiful. The way you give yourself to your career, it's incredible to watch, really." To his surprise she opens a sad smile, her eyes bright. "What? Did I say something wrong?" He instinctively gets closer to her, his hands holding her arms. Hermione has been acting a little off lately, to be more precise since the day she got home drunk. A month ago. Harry knows something happened but she never told him what and it's killing him inside. "What is it, Hermione?" He asks softly, his hands moving to her neck, his fingers threading into her hair. She looks up at him, doubt in her eyes. "You know you can tell me." He moves even closer, their bodies almost touching. One of his hands moves up and cups her face. She leans into it and a tear runs down her cheek. Harry brushes it away with his thumb. And an anger fills him as a thought crosses his mind. "Is it Noah? Did he hurt you? Did he-"

"No." She shakes her head. He waits. "Noah is great. It-" She stops.

"What?" He urges her, something primal inside him wanting to protect her from any harm, wanting to make her pain go away regardless what's happening. He doesn't care, he would do the possible and the impossible to make her feel better.

"It's nothing." She whispers and he sets his jaw.

"Please, tell me. I can see there's something bothering you. And it's been happening for a while now. I see it in the way you talk, in the way you walk and smile, Hermione. Don't you trust me?" One of her hands covers his and she pulls it away from her face to gently kiss his palm.

"I do, Harry. And you have to trust me on this one. Don't ask, please." He wants to, desperately. But Harry nods, his heart squeezing inside his chest as he leans forward and touches her forehead with his. She sighs heavily, some other tears running down her face. He wants to hold her and heal whatever it is that's giving her such anxiety.

However, Harry just kisses her forehead and smiles a little. "Wanna watch a movie?" He asks. "Since Rachel is asleep we can choose something that doesn't consist on animated people singing around." She snorts a laugh at that and his heart feels lighter, he's delighted by the notion that he made her feel better in a way.

"Sure." She answers and takes a step away from him. "Let me just finish putting away my things. And I need a shower too."

He nods, giving her half a smile and then leaving the room. His stomach doing somersaults, he's not sure why.

She opens her eyes slowly. She has no idea how much she slept, but her mind feels light, she feels like she finally rested, which is surprising, she can't ever remember the last time she slept so well. Then, she notices she's not really on her bed and-

Hermione freezes and curses mentally. It's no wonder she feels so comfortable. She's totally pressed against Harry's body, he has a firm grip around her waist and her head is resting on his chest as they lie there on their sides. Her own arms are around him, like traitors, bringing him closer to her, their legs a mess tangled together and their hips… she gulps. They touch so fittingly it's obscene. And it doesn't help that he's only in a t-shirt and shorts while she's wearing only a thin shorts and a matching shirt. There's too much skin touching. Pursing her lips she remembers how they sat down to watch an action movie. She also remembers how far apart they were, as if afraid this might happen. Apparently when they started dozing off the distance was a mere inconvenience. She's glad their couch is big enough to hold both of them… but she's also sure it would be impossible for her to fall to the ground because of the way he's holding her.

Should I wake him? Should I just get up? She glances at the clock they keep on the wall. Rachel will be up in another half an hour if she follows her sleeping pattern. Hermione ponders. They can't keep doing this. She looks up from his chest, his face is so close she can see all his pores. Maybe if I move just a little-

Such a mistake. The moment she tries putting some distance between them, Harry hugs her closer, their bodies coming together nicely. She closes her eyes again and breathes him in. Now their hips are impossibly attached. And she can feel him. All of him. Oh, shit. Suddenly it's very hot. Like, extremely hot. If she moves in any way she knows it will be worse, she knows it will only bring them to an irreversible situation because-

She doesn't move, but he does. Harry's hand slides down her back and rests on her butt, and then… he tugs her closer and she lets out a muffled moan when he moves his hips against hers. Get up, Hermione. She would. But her legs feel like jelly and her heart is beating so freaking fast. By his breathing she knows he's still asleep even when he lowers his head and nuzzles her hair. He's comfortable. Sleeping like a baby. Hugging her like she's a giant teddy bear.

But then something changes. She can feel his heart beating faster, his hand roaming over her, his hips bucking against hers again. She moans again. She's ashamed by how good it feels. By how much she wants him. She even moves a little now, her own hips meeting his. Blame it on the fact that she just woke up, whatever. Right now she doesn't care. His arms tighten around her and Hermione resists the urge to lift her head and kiss him. Kiss him until they can't breathe no more, until they vanish from existence. As the moment drags she feels his arousal against her sex and it's just maddening. Now she thinks they're both very aware of what's happening, awake and… consenting to it. Harry moves his hips again, a groan stuck on the back of his throat. She moves too, her face buried in his chest, his head on her hair. She lets one of her hands slide down to his butt and then she squeezes it and in response he moves again. She purses her lips, the sensation different from anything else she ever felt.

Her mind is still trying to resist. Don't do this. It will ruin everything. She agrees. But her lust doesn't. At all. She moves against his cock again and now he actually groans, one of his hands moving up her side and stopping above her breast. She wants this contact. Desperately. He seems unsure for a second, but since she doesn't move away his hand closes around her boob and she sighs, his thumb gently going over her nipple. She grinds against his cock again. She hears him saying 'shit' and then he holds her and turns them on the couch.

Now they're face to face, he's above her, his hands supporting him on each side, their hips still together, but he positions himself between her legs. He's looking at her slightly parted mouth. And then he thrusts his hips slowly, biting hard on his lower lip to stop his groan as her eyes shut close in pleasure. He does it another time and there are no words to describe how clothes are such an inconvenience. She's wet and throbbing and he feels so hard and delicious against her… a chill runs down her spine as they watch each other. Hermione is always the one to pull back, the one who stops them. Not today. Her hand goes to his hair and nape and she pulls him down, both very sure of what they're doing. She lets out a sigh of contentment when their lips are about to meet, her mind now totally on board with her lust, screaming: finally!

It's Rachel's desperate cry that stops them. They freeze together, their mouths only an inch from touching. Rachel keeps crying and Harry closes his eyes. Hermione can sense how torn he feels, so, she gently pushes on his chest, sitting up with him, the hotness of what was about to happen cooling down in a blink. Harry still tries resisting, but she says, "Go check on her, I need to be at the Hospital soon." Her voice is hoarse and he purses his lips, his eyes on hers as he tries understanding what they just shared, as his mind tries comprehending how badly she wanted it too. They're both breathing heavily.

After a long moment, Harry just nods and gets up. Hermione lets out a long sigh when he vanishes inside Rachel's room. Holding her head with both hands she grunts, knowing this will complicate everything, so much it's overwhelming to think about it. Not to mention the guilt that's already infiltrating her bones. I have a boyfriend. This is so unfair to Noah. Hermione really likes him, maybe she even loves him… it's just that what she shares with Harry is so intense and confusing she's not even sure she can label it. And Tessa. She gets up and heads to her room, her mind working fast as she goes through her morning routine. Harry loves Tessa. This thought is like a freaking splinter on her toe, it hurts from time to time, but it's always there, stinging and making itself known. And sometimes it's just fucking unbearable.

Hermione knows that Harry is allowed to move on with his life, but she won't be able to cope with the fact that he did it with her. Because Tessa is my cousin. And I would be taking her place. Since Tessa kissed Harry all those years ago it made him unreachable for Hermione. It's like a tacit rule they used to follow. But Tessa is in a coma. Hermione wants to cry. This is so confusing. So fucked up. And Harry… her confusion does not only regard Tessa and Noah, it's about her and Harry too. They've been friends forever, best friends. They never looked at each other differently, Hermione never considered something might happen between them, at least she never entertained the idea and now she can't help wondering if Harry really wants her or this little illusion they created around Rachel and their relationship. Because before this she's sure he never imagined her being more than a sister to him. Right?

She's angry by how confused she feels. She always knows what to do or where to find the answers, but now her mind is just a blank. A blank filled with Harry and his strong arms, Harry and his cock grinding against her clit and- She purses her lips and rubs her thighs together. "Pull yourself together." She whispers to herself. "This is just lust, nothing more." They sure woke up in a compromising position. Taking a deep breath she exits her room and walks fast to grab her coat in the living room desperately hoping that Harry is still with Rachel.

But no. Of course not. He's there, waiting for her.

"Hermione-"

"I can't talk about this right now, Harry." She says fast, Rachel is sitting by the table, her eyes red from the crying and Hermione stops to kiss her head, her heart hurting as she says 'Mama' in return. She fetches her coat and Harry grabs her arm.

"Don't run away from this." He's serious.

"I won't." She's being honest and he relaxes. "But I really need to go now." He nods.

Hermione apparates to the Hospital still unsure of what she's going to do.

He feels like exploding. There are so many things going through his head now that he's not sure he can organize his thoughts. He decides on reaching Draco through a patronus asking what he's doing. After a few minutes the answer comes as Draco himself apparates inside the flat.

"Nothing." He says and chuckles. "Wow, what's that face?" He scrunches his nose at Harry and settles down, seizing Rachel and playing with her.

"It's Hermione." Harry mumbles.

Draco whistles and mocks him. "Oh, no, Rach, Mama and Dada had a fight." Rachel looks up at Harry and he smiles to his daughter. "What happened?"

Harry grunts, frustrated. "I'm not sure." Draco waits. "We almost did it this morning." He blurts out and Draco widens his eyes.

"Are you serious?" He's so baffled Harry has to laugh. "I mean, I like teasing you, but I never thought you would really go there."

Harry raises an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well… you're best friends and you've always denied feelings for each other so much that I gathered it would never happen. I mean, it's a big step going from a friendship to a romantic relationship. Because s-e-x change things, Harry. You know that."

Harry purses his lips. He knows sex brings other things with it, but he guesses that in the middle of everything that's been happening it didn't occur to him to really look into it. This attraction between him and Hermione has been growing for a while now and it felt natural, right. But Draco has a point, if they go down this path they will change their relationship, they will change the way they see each other and also how they treat each other. Having sex is one thing, but Harry is aware that having sex with Hermione is another thing entirely. Because she means too much.

"And don't get me wrong, Harry, but what if it doesn't work out?"

Draco's words anger him. Mostly because is a valid question. Harry never had sex with someone he felt so connected like he feels to Hermione. Sure, with Tessa he had an instant connection, but one day later they were tearing each other's clothes apart. This doesn't apply to Hermione. He knows her since they were eleven. He saw her grow and turn into a beautiful woman, he saw her long for Ron for years, then he also saw how their relationship ruined their friendship. They don't even talk anymore. Deep inside he knows this wouldn't happen with him and Hermione, he knows they could work… they already do- but we're not having sex. What if it drives them apart? What if they don't like it? The thought of not satisfying her strikes him and a chill runs down his spine. What if Ned is a better lover? He shakes his head, wanting to stop this train of thought.

And what about Rachel? Could this development confuse her? Could this change how they interact with her? Even if he wants Hermione, his daughter comes first, her well-being is his biggest priority.

Putting it like that the situation seems impossible. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.

"Did I complicate things even more?" Draco asks with concern. "I'm sorry." He shrugs. "But think about this, Harry. With your head, not with your dick."

"Draco!" He says as he motions his hand to Rachel. But then they laugh. "I know. I'll… I guess I need to talk to Hermione."

"Yeah, and…" Draco trails, unsure. Harry waits.

"Come on, tell me. You're my friend and I called you here to talk about this."

Draco nods. "What about Tessa?" Harry opens his mouth. "When I said you should live your life and meet other people I meant it, but… Hermione is Tessa's cousin, Harry. They lived as sisters here. Do you really think this won't come between you? She might be in a coma, but she's alive, mate."

There's a heavy silence then. Most of the time he avoids thinking about Tessa because it hurts too much, but again Draco is right. And to be completely honest with himself he doesn't know what to think. What he had with Tessa was so intense, so fast, so wonderful… but they never got the chance to really live it, to really be together and that's just the worst thing ever because he feels like he'll always be wondering what could have been. He notices there's a tear running down his face and he chuckles sadly.

"Talk to Hermione, Harry. You'll know what to do. And my advice? Be honest with her."

Harry nods. There are still long hours until she returns from the Hospital, maybe by then he can figure out his own feelings.

It's lunch time and she asked Ginny if she could come to the Hospital for them to eat together. Hermione needs to talk to someone about what happened, she needs a friend, even if said friend already dated the guy they'll talk about. Maybe that's even better.

She's chugging coffee after coffee, her anxiousness on the roof. She can't stop thinking about her body pressed against Harry's. And the way he looked at her when he was sure they were going to kiss was so intense her stomach flutters when she remembers. She had a hard time dealing with Noah in the morning. He sought her out the moment their shift started, all smiles and kisses after their little trip. The guilt almost tore her apart. She came close telling him what had happened at least five times. But she won't, not before really knowing what it meant.

She sees Ginny entering the cafeteria and she waves to her. The moment Ginny sits she conjures a silencing spell around them. "So, okay, spill it out. I wanna know why I'm being forced on spending my lunch hour in this dreadful cafeteria." Hermione can't even laugh and she does spill it out.

"I almost had sex with Harry this morning." She says so fast she's not sure Ginny understands, but she immediately feels lighter, a ton being lifted from her shoulders. Ginny opens her mouth, shocked.

"What?" She shrieks. Then she laughs. "Merlin! This is too good. Tell me everything!" Hermione grunts.

"We fell asleep on the couch and woke up tangled together and one thing led to another and we were suddenly dry humping and-"

"Oh, my."

"And then when we were about to kiss, Rachel started crying and we stopped and now I don't know what to do or even how I feel. And Harry wants to talk about it the moment I get home tonight, and I swear I want to run from him, but I feel like I can't anymore, we need to figure this out and-"

"Hermione, breathe."

She obeys Ginny and takes several deep breaths.

"From what you're telling me this was mutual, right?" Hermione nods. "Well, it's pretty obvious then what you have to do." Hermione widens her eyes.

"Is it?" She asks.

"Yes! Shag him for Merlin's sake!"

"Ginny!"

"What? Get it out of your system!"

"I-" She stops. "I don't think it's like that with us." She gulps. "I mean, can you really see us casually having sex? Without repercussions?"

Ginny sigh. "Of course not. But I had to try." She chuckles. "You know as well as I do that if you do this, it will change everything. So, the issue here is… do you want to change everything?"

Hermione shakes her head. "No. I mean… I want him. I can't deny. But we have a good thing going on, you know? And I worry about Rachel, she's my main concern… not to mention that I have a bloody boyfriend." She looks down, ashamed.

"That you do. Are you happy with him?" Hermione nods, she is. "Well, this sucks then." Ginny narrows her eyes at her. "What else is bugging you? I know it's not only Rachel and Noah. Or Tessa."

"It's everything. Rachel, Noah, Tessa. Harry." She looks up at Ginny. "He never showed any sign of wanting me, Gin, never. I know we change as we grow, but if I'm being totally honest… there was a time I thought about him that way-"

"Ahá! I knew it!" Hermione scowls at her.

"Yeah, okay. I admit it. But I guess I buried it away because it was clear to me that he saw me as a non-girl." She snorts. "Like a sister, maybe." Ginny makes a face at that. "What?" Ginny purses her lips. "Tell me."

"Fine, you asked for it." Ginny points out. "When Ron told me about the hunt he said what happened when he destroyed the locket with Harry." Hermione perks at that, she doesn't think she ever heard this story. "It showed you and Harry together, mocking him, you saying how you would never want him while you had Harry Potter, you know, stuff Ron always thought true, it wanted to confuse him, convince him to strike Harry instead. You two even kissed at the illusion. But Ron saw through it and did the right thing." Ginny stops. Hermione had no idea.

"And?" Because there must be something else, right? They're talking about Harry here.

"And after that Harry said to him he only saw you as his sister. Nothing more."

She was not prepared to feeling so wrecked. She falls apart on the inside, her heart aching. But on the outside she stays put, her hands gripping the edge of the table. "See?" She says to Ginny, her voice steady. "I think he's being carried away by the life we've built around Rachel. He doesn't want me, not really."

"It's a valid point. But I think you need to talk to him. This locket thing was what? Six years ago? A lot changed, Hermione."

She's shaking her head now. "Doesn't matter. If Tessa were here they would be married by now and I would see them sporadicly and be the fun aunt Mi. You know I'm right."

"I do. But Tessa isn't here, is she?" Ginny's voice is firm. "You have to face things as they are. In a life where Tessa never suffered that accident you might already be married to my brother." Hermione sighs. "But real life is far away from that, isn't it?" Ginny reaches over the table and squeezes Hermione's hand. "Be honest with yourself, Hermione. That's the most important thing."

She nods. Hermione has a lot to think about until the end of her shift.

He's drawing with Rachel and trying to teach her how to write the letters of her name. Even if she doesn't manage it, she tries her best and that's something Harry wants her to do for the rest of her life. Try her best, regardless.

Harry's there, but his mind is on Hermione. His eyes on the clock. She's twenty minutes late and he's growing more nervous as each second ticks by. She said they would talk about this. Harry replayed inside his head everything he wants to say to her… she can't run away. Not now.

It's no surprise how relieved he feels when she apparates inside. She spots them immediately, her eyes landing on him, telling him something he doesn't understand, something new. He frowns and she comes closer to kiss Rachel, the little girl more than happy to see her. He takes the moment to observe them after Hermione acknowledges him with a nod. He knows they won't talk until Rachel is entertained enough by her own. And this might take some time. Sighing, he leans back on his chair. He made dinner. He's been cooking more recently and in his modest opinion he's getting better at it. There's a plate for Hermione on the table and she sits by Rachel's side as she talks to her as if the little girl understands everything. Hermione goes on about the letters Harry was teaching her and tries teaching a few others, it takes him a moment to read the name 'Tessa' on the paper. Hermione smiles and talks fondly about Rachel's mother.

Harry sets his jaw. It's extremely difficult for him, but he sees Hermione as Rachel's mother. She had no obligation whatsoever with Rachel, but she took the responsibility in her hands and owned her role as this motherly figure. She gives Rachel all her love and attention, all her knowledge and time. He looks down. His mind wondering how things would have been for him if his aunt was a tenth as amazing as Hermione, wondering how his notions of love and family could be different now. He purses his lips. What Hermione is doing for Rachel is huge and he'll be eternally grateful. He knows that now he's able of taking care of his daughter on his own, but it would be a shame to separate her from Hermione. It would be cruel.

"Harry, this is amazing!" Hermione is talking about the food. "You should consider doing this for a living." She keeps eating and he smiles shyly at the way she's praising him.

They start talking about the news and some plans they have for the week, after all it's only Monday. Harry keeps thinking about taking Rachel to swim lessons. Hermione agrees and tells him the best time for her to go with, but she makes it clear that he doesn't need to wait for her if he wants to take Rachel on his own. He shakes his head dismissing her words, of course he wants her to be there. She gives him a half smile and he tilts his head. There's something… off.

Turns out that Rachel wanted Hermione more than anything that night. She barely let Hermione breathe until the clock stroke 8pm and she started yawning. Harry took her, he's the one used to tucking her in and Hermione went to her room, probably to take a shower.

He's been waiting all day for the moment he would talk to Hermione, but now that Rachel is asleep he's… frightened. He stays inside the room, thinking. He has no idea how this conversation will go, no idea what they'll talk about. He's ready to be honest, but he fears Hermione might brush off the whole thing, discard it as something unimportant. Even if they decide that the best thing is to stay away from each other, he needs her to recognize that this morning meant something, because it meant so much to him he can't even comprehend.

Gathering some courage he goes to the living room. She's there already, in comfortable clothes and reading a technical book. But she lifts her head the moment he enters the place. He sits on their armchair. Hermione closes the heavy book and the sound resonates between them. He rubs his hands together.

"Look," He begins and she gives him all her attention like he's the transfiguration teacher, "I know that this situation is a bit… difficult." He gulps. His mind blank, his palms sweaty. In the morning he knew exactly what to say, knew exactly what he wanted to do, but now…

"What situation is this exactly, Harry?"

He sighs. "I don't know, Hermione. But I think we can find out together." His heart is hammering inside his chest. She looks down, her eyes going from one side to the other.

"Harry," Her voice is thin, "I'll be honest with you." She raises her eyes to his. "I want you." His brain stops and he wonders if he just died because he's sure he might be deaf, his heart beating so fast on his ear, but that doesn't stop him from blurting out:

"I want you too."

Hermione freezes, her eyes wide. Doesn't this solve everything? Can't they just be together? They want to.

"But this," She motions between them, "it involves a lot more than two adults wanting each other, doesn't it?"

Harry purses his lips and for a moment the brilliant rationality he always admired in Hermione makes him hate her a tiny bit. "Does it?" He asks back.

She narrows her eyes. "Do you want me to say it, then? Fine. We're best friends and sex brings consequences, it changes a relationship."

"What if I'm willing to deal with them?"

She ignores him. "Not just that, I think this attraction between us is just a side effect from the life we're leading, Harry. I've said this before. We're raising a child together, we live together, we see each other all the time, it's normal to mix things, to misunderstand feelings-"

"I'm not confused, Hermione. I have it very clear how much I want you. Couldn't you tell after this morning?"

He sees that adorable blushing taking over her neck. "I'm not denying the attraction, Harry, I'm just questioning its reasons."

"Does it matter?"

"It does."

"Why?"

She stops at that. "Because if we screw this up we have a lot more to lose." His breath hitches. "So, yeah, everything matters." He gets up from the chair, his hand going through his hair.

"I don't think we'll screw this up, Hermione."

She looks down again. "Being my friend is very different from being my lover, Harry. I'm not an easy person." He takes a step in her direction.

"And I am?" He snorts. He can feel the anger inside him, by the way she's talking he already knows what she wants from this. "Hermione, I-"

"What changed?" She asks, standing too, the center table between them. "Years ago I was only like a sister to you and now what? You want to play house with me, Harry?" He blinks at her sudden outburst.

"What are you talking about?" His voice is a tone higher.

"You said to Ron! You said I was like a sister to you and nothing more!" She crosses her arms and presses her lips together, she's angry too.

"He was under the illusion we were having a torrid affair behind his back! I said the first thing I knew would kill his doubts!" He stops, his hands on his waist. "I don't know what changed. But it did."

She shakes her head. "We have to think about Rachel. This can get real messy and-" He takes two steps forward and stops in front of her. Hermione lifts her chin to gaze into his eyes, but he sees how she lingers on his mouth. He's had enough of this. It shouldn't be this complicated.

"I understand your concerns, Hermione, believe me, I also have them. But you can't pretend this can't work. Because…" He gulps, his hand cupping her cheek, "what if it does? Can you imagine it?" She bites her lower lip and he leans into her, ready to kiss her and-

"I have a boyfriend, Harry." He stops. "And… Tessa." He pulls back, but his hand stays on her cheek and his body almost touching hers.

"End things with him." His voice is so firm it surprises him. "And Tessa," He sighs, "destiny didn't want her to be here, Hermione. I can't tell you how things would be if she were, but… what I feel for you is…" He trails, it's too damn hard to put into words. Harry shakes his head and Hermione sighs, her hands coming up to rest over his chest. "We know chances of her waking up are almost zero." He looks down and she recoils at that.

"But she still can." She whispers. "It's not unheard of. It can happen, Harry. And as a healer I could help her recover-"

He presses his thumb over her mouth to stop her words. "I don't wanna talk about Tessa."

Everything around them dies on the background. He has eyes only for Hermione as he watches her memorizing his face, the way her chest moves up and down and how she gently kisses his thumb, closing her eyes briefly. Accepting this, giving him permission. Harry leans to her again.

His heart swells the moment their lips touch. It's soft and exhilarating. I'm kissing Hermione. For a few seconds they don't move as if the action might break some kind of spell. The kiss is nothing but a touch of lips that lasts for a lifetime. It means so much. It means everything. Then Hermione's hands go to his hair and his slide down her body as they kiss gently. Asking things without words, answering them with tenderness. But as the kiss escalates he fears this might not be happening for real, he has no idea how many times he thought about this already. However, the way she presses herself against him, letting out soft moans of pleasure while he slowly devours her is way better than anything he ever imagined. Hermione lets him have her as he pleases, her lips following his as he traps her lower lip between his teeth and then slides his tongue into her mouth, the sensation a mixture of euphoria with calmness. He pulls her closer, his chest pressing against hers, his fingers digging into her flesh. They both sigh for a brief moment when their lips part, and this time Hermione tugs on his hair, her mouth possessively going over his as she tilts his head the way she wants, her tongue exploring him, then going over his lip. He groans and lifts her up. They keep kissing while he steers them to the couch-

An alien sound rings inside the living room and they stop. Their hearts beating wildly. They share a confused look as the sound goes on. "What the fuck?" Harry asks. Hermione is looking around, a wrinkle between her brows, her arms already coming down from his neck, but he holds her tight. "Who cares?" He says and tries kissing her again but she stops him, her eyes bright.

"It's the mobile." She whispers. Mobile? He freezes inside when he realizes what she's talking about. The mobile they got for St. George's to get in touch in case there's something new about Tessa. Hermione is already walking away from him, some tears in her eyes as she looks for the little device. "Where is it?" She's desperate. Harry blinks, his lustful mind coming back to life as he summons the mobile with an accio.

He stares at it. It's ringing. Hermione is pursing her swollen and red lips in front of him and Harry takes a deep breath before answering it. "Yes?"