October 1st, 2002

Tess. It's been almost two weeks since the doctor called us. I can't describe how many things went through my mind on that infinite moment as I watched Harry widening his eyes while he listened. You're still in a coma. But you've been making some kind of progress, showing signs that you're still here with us. Uncle Leonard didn't want us to know, but the doctor called, nonetheless. You've been squeezing his hand and you even opened your eyes one time. I can't tell you how much hope this gives me. I've been studying comatose patients and I know you'll come back to us, Tess. I believe in this more than anything else. I guess I don't know how to keep going without this faith. You WILL watch your daughter become a beautiful woman. You WILL have your shot at happiness. You deserve it, Tess. You deserve everything.

Harry and I, we… we kissed. But it won't happen again. For a moment I thought we were it, you know? I thought it was the best thing that had ever happened in my life. It felt right, it felt amazing. But- the way he was after the call- There's only you for him, Tess. And I don't wanna hurt myself. Not any more, at least. We haven't talked about what happened between us. He's been trying to visit you everyday and I stay with Rachel for as long as he wants. I guess uncle Leonard is letting him stay there, everyone's hope of you finally coming back reuniting us in a way.

And… I've decided. I'll go with Noah. Leaving Rachel is already making me doubt my decision, but I know I'll still see her. And there's no way of me staying, this situation with Harry was due to end some day and maybe that day has come. I just won't tell him yet because I can see how his mind is a mess right now. But I deserve my chance at happiness too, don't I? I think Noah can give me that, I think we're good for each other, we're partners. I told him about what happened between me and Harry. He wasn't happy and I was ready for him to end everything, but he said he could understand, said that if it was just that, just a kiss because of mixed feelings, he could forgive me. He said he loves me too much to lose me over this. And shouldn't I be with a man like him? Caring? Loving? A man who sees me as his priority? I don't wanna be unfair, but Harry will never give himself entirely to me and that's okay. I get it.

I'll move on from this. Until I leave, my only purpose is to make Rachel happy.

October 10th, 2002

He unlocks the door and immediately hears the voices inside. He raises his eyebrows and is surprised to see Draco, Ginny and Ned.

"Harry!" Ginny yells. She seems overly excited and Hermione enters the living room with Rachel in her arms as he closes the door behind him. He was at St. George's and decided he wanted to walk back home. Ginny comes to him and extends her hand, showing him something, waving it. Harry tilts his head, not understanding- "Are you blind?" She asks and points to the finger on her left hand. "We got engaged!"

Harry opens his mouth. "That's amazing!" He hugs her. "Congratulations!"

He then greets Draco, also hugging his friend and saying, "You didn't tell me!"

"I wanted it to be a surprise for everyone." Draco shrugs.

Rachel is calling her "Dada" and Hermione puts her down. His daughter comes running to him and Harry nods curtly to Ned, a terrible burning sensation in his chest as the man glares at him and answers with a tight "Potter." Harry tries not frowning, even if they're not exactly friends, Ned always calls him 'Harry'. But the worst is how Hermione completely ignores him. They've been avoiding each other for weeks now.

He sits down with Rachel and an easy conversation flows between them, Ginny is talking about how Draco proposed and their happiness is contagious. Even if his eyes keep going back to Noah and Hermione sitting by the table. They're talking in hushed tones and smiling at each other, their hands together, their attention focused on their little bubble. Harry tries not minding. He has no right. Not after the way he reacted when the doctor called. Hermione wasn't even holding it against him because she too was extremely shaken, but the guilt- it invaded him in waves and every time his mind connected the call with their kiss it made his skin crawl. It felt like a warning from the Universe. A clear: Don't do it. And then he started treating Hermione poorly. So, it's no surprise she's with Ned, no surprise she doesn't even look his way.

He also does his best to avoid thinking about how good their kiss felt. How it made everything else dull in comparison. If, right now, he caved to his primal instinct he would be pulling Ned away from her and kissing Hermione in front of everyone, making it clear she's his-

No.

It's ridiculous to keep entertaining this kind of thought. Tessa might wake up. He looks down at Rachel. She's looking more and more like her birth mother. This mess wouldn't be fair to his daughter and he can't deny how fast his heart beats whenever he considers having another chance with Tessa. And if he's honest with himself, he already knew this, he knew part of his heart was still hung up on that room in St. George's. However, for a moment, just right before he kissed Hermione, he was sure he was there wholly. He was sure not even a single cell in his body was thinking about Tessa.

But the call changed everything.

And now he feels torn, odd. He wonders if he could be anything more than half a man to Hermione with Tessa looming between them. Hermione deserves more, so much more than what I have to offer.

Of course the doctor told them the signs Tessa showed aren't a guarantee she's waking up, but they're sure important since before that she'd never even moved a muscle. Harry still can't believe the doctor's timing. He called exactly the moment they were about to have sex. Harry is sure nothing else but that would have stopped them. He felt in his skin, in his heart how much he and Hermione wanted it, he himself was trembling from anticipation.

He glances at them again and Ned is glaring at him. This time Harry actually frowns. What's happening? Ned says something to Hermione and she nods, getting up and heading to her room. Then Ned sits down on the couch, as far away as possible from Harry. But Harry sneers inside his head, after all it's the same couch he had Hermione pinned under him in a very compromising way-

"Draco, where did you buy this ring?" Ned asks as he leans forward when Ginny shows the ring again. "It's beautiful." Harry doesn't like his tone. It annoys him how he examines the ring as if…

"Why, Noah? Are you thinking about popping the question?" Ginny asks in a joyful way, her eyes briefly meeting Harry's. He stops breathing as he waits for Ned's answer. The man shrugs.

"Who knows?" He smiles and Draco tells him all about the jewelry store.

Harry excuses himself saying he needs to use the bathroom, but in reality he can't stand the conversation. Would Hermione say 'yes' if Ned asked? Maybe. Just the notion makes him dizzy and he doesn't see her coming in the corridor as they bump into each other. Harry looks up from the floor, blinking. She smells so good. It's the first thing that crosses his mind since it's the first time in weeks they're this close. Hermione purses her lips and tries moving to the side to go past him, but he moves too, stopping her, his eyes on the handbag she's holding. She's probably spending the weekend with Ned.

Harry casts a silencing spell around them and she frowns, sighing. "We need to talk." He says. He's not even sure what he wants to talk about, he just feels needy of her attention.

"About?" She asks, her face an emotionless mask.

He ponders and then, "Why is your boyfriend glaring at me like I'm the vilest person in the room?" That's not what he wants to talk about, but it's the safest subject he finds.

"Is he?" She tilts her head and shrugs. "Maybe because I told him we kissed." Harry inhales sharply. So much for the safest subject.

"You told him?" He hisses, the jealousy exploding inside him.

"Of course I did, Harry. I owed it to him if I wanted to have a healthy relationship."

Harry shakes his head. He's so angry. Ned knows about the kiss and they're still together. They talked about it, they overcame this and now they're probably going stronger than before. "Are you leaving for the weekend?" He can't even hide his bitterness and she sets her jaw.

"Yes."

Something cracks inside him at that. Since the call and the kiss, whenever he's at the Hospital she's taking care of Rachel, but the moment he gets home she leaves to Noah's. It's the third weekend in a row she's spending with him. Harry barely sees her now and he misses her so much it's scary.

He snorts. "Of course, you don't even care about Rachel anymore, only about your ridiculous boyfriend."

"You can be such a child sometimes, Harry." Her tone is of disappointment, clearly showing him she won't bite. And it angers him even more. She won't even fight him anymore. "I have to go now." She lifts her hand to end the silencing spell but he holds her wrist and takes a step closer to her. The closest since the kiss.

"I'm sorry." He feels like crying, his emotions all over the place. "I'm so sorry." That finally seems to strike a nerve in her and she lowers her head. Her hand moving down and taking his. He touches her forehead with his, sighing.

"I know." She whispers. "I'm sorry too." She briefly kisses his cheek and moves away fast, leaving him with the pain of her absence.

October 31st, 2002

He holds his surprise when he sees her in the kitchen. Harry blinks a few times. It's Halloween and it's Saturday. He was sure Hermione would be spending the day with Noah. But, no. She's there. Making waffles. He blinks again. He didn't even bother putting on a t-shirt as he woke in a jolt finding it very strange that Rachel wasn't calling to him yet. But of course she wasn't. Hermione is there. Rachel is watching a cartoon, giggling and trying to dance like the puffy animals on tv.

"Hermione." He says, because he doesn't know what else to say.

She turns on her heels, a bowl in her hand. "Hey." She turns back fast, and doesn't say anything else for a while. He's not sure what to do. It's like he forgot how to function around her. "Want some waffles? They're not as good as yours, but still." She shrugs and he clears his throat, feeling like a teenager for not knowing what to do.

"Yes." He blurts out. "I mean, I want some, of course. Thank you." He mentally slaps himself. Too formal. She nods her head and keeps her hands occupied. "I- I didn't think you would be here today." He says as lightly as possible.

"Yeah, well, Noah took a 24 hour shift yesterday and he's just knackered. And when he's like that he sleeps the whole day like a bloody rock." Harry purses his lips and crosses his arms. "And I wanted to be with Rachel, maybe we can go trick-or-treating, I don't know." She says carefully, obviously remembering what happened last year.

Harry pulls a stool and sits at the little isle, observing her as she moves around. He sighs and holds hid head with one hand, his eyes lost on the counter. Tessa's situation hasn't changed and there's something he's been thinking for the past week… he glances at Hermione's back. He misses his best friend. He misses what they had. "It would be nice to go trick-or-treating." He says slowly. "I don't have a costume, though."

Hermione snorts a laugh. "You can go as Harry Potter." It's an inside joke of theirs since they live in muggle London. Hermione says that if muggles knew who he was they would all be dressing as him on Halloween, putting on a glass and drawing scars on their foreheads while walking around with a piece of wood.

He chuckles. "Do you have one?"

"I thought about going as Daphne, from the Scooby-Doo movie. I mean, Rachel is obsessed with it as you know and I think she would be the cutest Velma."

Harry really laughs at that. "She would." He looks back at his daughter, his heart filling with love. "So, let's do it. I'll be Harry Potter." There's some excitement inside him. He hasn't felt any since their kiss, since the call. After that it seems like all his energy has been consumed by the doubt if Tessa is waking up or not and by how much he misses Hermione.

So, yeah, he's excited about spending the day with both of them.

Hermione finally finishes the waffles and sets a plate in front of him, another one by his side as she heads to the living room to fetch Rachel. Harry purses his lips when he sees the animal shaped waffle she tried to do for Rachel - It's pretty good. He's sure she used magic. And then, out of nowhere, a pressure on his chest makes it hard to breathe. He holds his chin, trying his best not to cry. Harry lowers his head and presses his knuckles against his eyes, stopping the tears.

But it's impossible.

He sobs and in a second he feels Hermione's hand on his naked shoulder, her presence strong as her touch burns into him. Rachel is also there, calling her 'Dada'. "What's wrong?" Hermione's voice is soft. She's standing next to him, her hand moving to his hair in a gentle caress. He keeps sobbing, it's such a desperate cry his tears fight to fall from his eyes, almost as if they've been there for so long they're not sure how to fall down. He shakes his head, finally opening his eyes and seeing Rachel sitting in front of him, her eyes going from him to her waffle. Then he looks up at Hermione. He lets out a strangled breath and she takes one step closer. He seizes her by the waist, hugging her tightly, his head on her stomach as he cries and cries. "It's okay, Harry." Her arms circle his neck, her hands in his hair as she tries calming him.

But he keeps crying.

When he stops Rachel already ate her waffle and went back to the living room. She called him a few times, even hugged his legs and torso when she left her stool, but releasing Hermione was out of the question for him. He probably shouldn't be crying into her clothes, drenching them, but when he tried pulling back as his sobs subsided, she kept him close. Hermione held him until there were no tears left.

He finally sighs and sniffs. Hermione takes a step back and pulls a stool to sit right in front of him. She takes his hands and gazes into his eyes, patiently waiting for him to say something. "Talk to me, Harry." Her voice is so soft, her eyes so warm, her hands so smooth.

"When I saw the waffle you made for Rachel I-" He chokes, "I guess a million things went through my mind at the same time, you know?" He sighs. "I was happy because my daughter gets to have the best person in this world as someone she can see as a mother. Because you make animal shaped waffles for her in the morning. Because you care. It made me so freaking happy, Hermione." She purses her lips and he sees as her eyes shine bright. "And today is Halloween. I've been thinking about my parents this last week so much, you have no idea. I keep thinking about this family I never had, about everything I lost and I'm just so relieved I have this chance to be a good father for Rachel-"

"You're the best father, Harry. The best. Rachel is so lucky to have you."

He half smiles. Their hands squeezing each other's. "And everything with Tessa. It's been too much. It's all too much. The hope and the doubt are just the worst." He inhales deeply, Hermione is nodding, probably understanding well what he's talking about. Tessa is her cousin. She wants her to wake up as much as he. "And… you." He whispers the last word. "I miss you so fucking much it physically hurts me." Hermione goes very still at his words. "I- I admit that after our kiss things changed. After the call… I lost it. And I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way, Hermione. The last thing I want is to hurt you." His thumb goes over her palm as he keeps his eyes on them, incapable of looking into her eyes as he says this. "Maybe it wasn't meant to be. But I really don't wanna lose my best friend, because I don't think I would be able to handle it, Hermione." Some tears fall from his eyes. "I need you like I need air to live. I'm sorry, so extremely sorry for maybe ruining everything-"

"I miss you too." He looks up at that.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He sniffs, his thumb still going over her palm. She's crying now.

"Can we try to… go back to how things were?" He asks shyly. "Before it got messy?" He tilts his head, not even his own heart knowing exactly what he wants.

Hermione nods. And then she smiles. He missed seeing her smiling at him. "I would love that."

Harry can almost feel the wave of relief that goes through them. But there's also some tension and it's hurtful but logical when none move for a hug. They know pretty well it were their hugs that led them to that kiss. She finally releases his hands and brushes away her tears, smiling again the moment his stomach growls. Harry chuckles and as he eats the waffles and watches her sit in front of him as she talks about the last bizarre case in St. Mungo's, the world, his world seems to finally go back to its axis.

Trick-or-treating was fun. Harry regrets he missed this opportunity last year because he was too busy being his dramatic self. It was amazing to watch Rachel's happiness when people handed her candy or said how she looked exactly like Velma. They even came across a few Scooby-Doos and she shrieked and giggled in delight. Harry took many pictures.

But also… one lady said how they were such a beautiful family. The comment gave him a warm and tingling sensation, especially when nor him or Hermione corrected the woman. They just smiled.

And that's exactly what he's thinking as they enter their flat. He lost count of how many times he wished he had just taken Hermione's hand in his while walking down the street. But just the fact that they were able to do this together without ignoring each other or feeling awful was amazing. It really felt natural to step right back into their friendship.

"Should we give her a bath?" Hermione asks, her words bringing him to the moment. She already took of her wig and he smiles, she looks way better without it. Then he glances at Rachel. His daughter has chocolate all over her face.

"I think we should."

Both laugh and Hermione says, "Maybe a relaxing bath to downplay all the chocolate she just ate." Rachel is running around in the living room.

"We let her eat way too much. We should be better parents-" He stops abruptly. Hermione looks down, a little unsure and he clears his throat as he says to his daughter, "Come on, pumpkin, let's take a bath." Rachel moves her head, a clear 'no', then she starts running again and he sighs. "Prepare the bath and I take her?" He asks Hermione and she nods as she exits the living room fast and heads to her bathroom. Hers is the only one with a bathtub. Harry shifts his weight from one foot to another as he considers his own words. There's nothing absurd in what he said, Hermione is like a parent to Rachel, but maybe the way he naturally acknowledged it and then stopped was a little awkward. He's not sure why he stopped.

He moves in the living room as if he's not paying any attention to Rachel as she darts from one place to another while yelling and shouting, her excitement on the roof. But Harry was a seeker. So it's no big deal to feint his own two year old daughter. He picks her up fast and she laughs hysterically as he heads to the bathroom with her, his own cheeks hurting from how much he enjoys the moment.

Hermione is already out of her costume, only in a shirt and jeans as she joins him to tickle Rachel and take her out of her incredible costume. The little Velma was indeed the cutest. Rachel laughs and laughs and when she's butt naked she holds Hermione by the neck in a vicious grip as she kisses sloppily her 'Mama', smearing chocolate all over Hermione's cheek. Harry laughs out loud and she glares at him, a glint of amusement in her eyes. They enter the bathroom together and Hermione checks the water's temperature again to make sure it's okay for Rachel. Harry is certain Hermione casted a calming spell inside the bathroom because in a matter of minutes they're all relaxed.

He's sitting on the floor by Hermione's side as his hand plays inside the water, Rachel is all clean, but they seem unable to move. "It was a good day, wasn't it?" Hermione asks.

"It was." He smiles. Rachel is so relaxed she's almost sleeping. "Hermione," He begins, "could we-" He gulps, she's looking at him with a question in her eyes, "could we visit my parents?" His voice is so thin he's not sure she heard him. "I've been thinking about going there the whole week, and I was going to do it alone, but since you're here…" He trails, shrugging, not really wanting to admit how much he wants her to go with him.

Her hand finds his in the water. "Of course I'll go with you, Harry." His thumb caresses her hand in thanks. "Do you wanna take Rachel?" He nods. It's due time his daughter 'meet' his parents. Hermione smiles at him and gets up from the floor. "Let's go then."

It's strange to be back on this place. The last time he was here, Hermione was also with him, but times were far darker and chillier. And the little girl that's holding his hand wasn't even a possibility. Hermione is holding Rachel's other hand as they go through the kissing gate as a unit. They walk slowly, not saying a thing, even Rachel is quiet as she observes everything. Harry can feel his chest tightening as they approach the tombstone. He sighs and crouches in front of it, turning his daughter to look at him.

"This is where you grandparents are, baby girl." He chokes on his tears. "I know that if they were still here with us they would love you very much. Just as much as me and Mama Mi do." He brushes his knuckles on her cheek and she tells him not to cry as she stumbles through the words. Harry smiles. "I'm crying but it's all good, baby."

She hugs him in an attempt of making him feel better and he closes his eyes. Things aren't ideal, of course not, if Harry was in total control of his life, his parents would be there with them, probably going trick-or-treating with their granddaughter, but even like this, even in this situation where he can't hug them, being there with Rachel and Hermione is… fulfilling. He feels supported, he feels strong, but most of all he feels loved. Instinctively one of his hands go up, seeking for Hermione's and she takes it promptly, intertwining their fingers. He raises, supporting Rachel with one arm, as Hermione holds the other and leans into his shoulder as they did all those years ago. The flower wreath is already there and he gently kisses the top of Hermione's head.

His heart is as full as possible when they leave.

Only later on his bed he realizes Tessa barely crossed his mind.

November 18th, 2002

She's exhausted. When she apparated inside, some good two hours ago, she fall on the couch and stayed there. She didn't even take out her healer's coat. Her things at her feet on the floor. She's sure she's magically drained. Being a good healer takes a lot from you and your magic. Of course you can use potions, but when injuries are truly serious it's the magic that seals the deal. Hermione always avoided taking 24 hours shifts because of Rachel, but she had no choice since she had to complete her hours for the week. She grunts. Her body hurts all over, her muscles sore.

Harry and Rachel weren't home and they're still out. Probably visiting Tessa. Harry has been taking Rachel's drawings to decorate Tessa's room and Hermione finds it adorable. And right now she's so tired she can't even consider suffering for Harry, their kiss, their friendship and all that. In a way it's nice to have the flat all to herself, so, she stays there in the dark, napping. Food and shower are unimportant.

She only wakes when she feels a strong hand on her shoulder, then on her cheek. Slowly she opens her eyes and meets Harry's. For a moment their green take her breath away, her heart skipping a beat at his proximity.

"Hey." He says gently, smiling. He shouldn't be this handsome. "Are you okay?" He has a wrinkle between his brows and she finds it endearing.

"Yeah, I'm just drained." She says in a low voice, his hand still on her cheek. "Where's Rachel?"

"She's napping." His thumb goes over her cheek, close to her mouth. "Just drained, Hermione? As if it's just an inconvenience? You know it's dangerous." His tone is serious.

"I know." She finally moves, her face steering away from his hand. He stays there, though, watching her closely, worried. "But only if it's recurrent." She points out and flinches at how much her muscles are hurting, specially her arms, shoulders and neck. The magic concentrates on the upper half of the body, so it's only logical to be completely beat like that. "I just need to sleep and eat something." She brushes it off as if it's unimportant, but Harry doesn't budge. He's truly concerned.

"Here, let me help you." He says as she tries to get up.

She wished she was strong enough to deny his help, but turns out she isn't, so, she lets him hold her by the waist and hoist her up. Still holding her, he helps as she takes off the coat and even if he's only helping as a friend the moment is charged. He's undressing her in a way and it makes her feel hot all over when his hand brushes her shoulder and arm. She watches him closely, noticing how it affects him too. He sets his jaw when he tosses her coat on the couch.

"Can you walk?" She thinks she can. She nods and he takes a step back, putting some necessary distance between them. She walks slowly and when she sits down on the kitchen stool it feels like she just ran a marathon. "I'm surprised you were able to apparate home." He says as he goes through the food, finding the things she likes to eat and putting everything together. There are some leftovers from yesterday and her stomach growls when she thinks about the amazing salmon he cooked.

"I guess I did it with the last bit of magic I had." She says as he heats the food and sets the plate in front of her. "Thank you. It feels like I haven't eaten for a whole week." He sits close to her. "Now I get why Noah sleeps the way he does." A heavy silence follows her words as Harry just drinks some juice. It wasn't her intention to bring Noah up, but if they're back to being best friends, Harry surely knows she'll talk about her boyfriend eventually, right?

"He does this a lot, then? The 24 hours shifts?" His voice is even, friendly.

"Yes." She says between bites. "He loves being a healer and I admire him immensely, he's extraordinary. But I also worry. It's exhausting and we need to be careful." She doesn't look at him, but she can feel the tension emanating from his body.

"Is he? Extraordinary?"

She nods vehemently. "His dedication is out of this world. I thought I was the only know-it-all until I met Noah." She chuckles. "He tries his best and it's really amazing to watch. I'm sure he'll specialize before anyone else in our group."

"Even before you?" Harry sounds appalled.

"Well… maybe we'll do it together." She smiles. It's probably what's going to happen.

"What's his field?" Harry asks.

"Cardiology." She says and remembers the day Noah told her he was a heart fixer, insinuating that there was no way she wasn't going to be happy with him. She snorts at the memory and Harry asks what she's thinking about. Hermione ponders if she should tell him this as she finishes her food. She feels a lot better now. "Nothing, just a joke." She sighs. "Thank you for the food, Harry, really." She finally turns to look at him, his eyes are fixed on his glass on the isle.

"It's no bother at all." He says in a low voice. "Do you need anything else?" He looks at her, his eyes… sad. It takes a lot not to reach for his hand.

"I don't think so. I guess I just need new arms, shoulders and neck. Can you give me those?" She jokes. Harry doesn't laugh, though. He watches her.

"How strong is your pain? From 1 to 10?"

"Oh? Are you the healer now?"

He shrugs and half smiles. "You're a stubborn patient, I see. Come on, just answer."

"Are you truly giving me new arms and such?" He scowls at her. "Fine." She inhales deeply. "10."

"Hermione!"

"It doesn't matter, it's the exhaustion from the magic, there's nothing I can actually do."

"What if I say there is?" She narrows her eyes at him, he looks smug. "You forget I went through the most brutal Auror training there is. I felt drained more times I can remember." Now she's the one gaping. "And I know how to ease the pain." He points at her.

"Are you telling me, then?"

Harry pretends to think about it. "Should I?" She would slap his arm if she had the strength. She just purses her lips instead and he laughs. "Fine. You need a massage."

"A massage?"

"It disappoints me a little that you don't know that, I mean, it releases the tissue and relaxes the muscle, easing the pain."

"Well, okay, I get it, but I can't massage myself!"

She sees as his smile grows. "That's right… you really can't. Someone should do it for you, then." It dawns on her what he's saying. Harry drinks his juice.

Hermione clicks her tongue. He's not offering. He wants her to ask for it. Her first reaction is: no way. There's no bloody way she's letting him rub her naked neck, shoulders and arms with some coconut oil. No way. She can't even begin to describe how this could go south real fast. However… the pain is excruciating. She would give anything for it to stop, she's not even sure she'll be able to sleep properly this way.

A long silence stretches between them.

"Come on, Hermione. It's just a massage." He finally says. "No need for you to tell Noah about it." He sounds bitter now and she tries thinking of another way out of this, because she's pretty sure that if she lets Harry touch her that way she'll need to tell Noah.

She's still pondering when a cramp starts on her shoulder. She grunts. "Shit." Closing her eyes and gritting her teeth she says, "Okay." She breathes heavily when the cramp stops. "Can you give me a massage, Harry?"

He doesn't answer, he just helps her stand and walks with her to the bedroom. "Take off your shirt and sit on the floor, close to the bed, your back facing it." Her hair is already in a bun.

Hermione trembles inside, his bossiness awakening things that should stay dormant. But she nods and he enters the bathroom, looking for some lotion or oil or whatever. Merlin, she's truly exhausted, even taking off her shirt is difficult, almost impossible. And nothing really prepared her for Harry to stop in front of her while she had her shirt halfway up. His strong hands touch her arms as he helps her pull the shirt off. And in that moment, Hermione is sure that if someone tossed a match inside the room it would burn the whole place down. She stays there, in her bra and jeans, Harry's eyes roaming over her face. He tries his best not to look down and she appreciates his control. Someone needs to have it. She sees him swallowing hard as his Adam's apple bobs up and down. "Sit." His voice is hoarse and she feels it at the pit of her stomach.

Hermione sits as fast as she manages, trying her best to pretend that is not Harry who will be massaging her, just an unknown professional capable of helping her pain. At least I'm not facing him. She appreciates this small victory. Harry sits on the bed and she settles herself between his legs. Since her bed is not that high they're in perfect position.

She stays there, waiting. But nothing happens for a long moment. "Harry?" He clears his throat and then:

"Sorry, I- I just realized it would be easier if you took your bra off as well." She wets her lips, lowering her head a little and thinking how right he is. The bra really stays in the way. And since she has his back to him, she doesn't actually see the trouble… the room is dark enough, there's just a candle - that she's sure Harry lit when she wasn't paying attention - burning in the corner. "But there's no problem, I totally understand if you-"

"It's not that. My arms hurt so much I don't think I can actually twist it properly to unclasp my bra."

"Oh." A beat. "Yeah, sure. I-" He doesn't ask for permission. She only feels when his fingers gently touch her back and he swiftly opens her black bra. Before it can even hang on her frame, both his hands help the straps down and she shrugs it off. She knows he can't see her breasts, but she's not really that worried, to be honest, she just wants the pain to go away.

So, she waits patiently for him to begin.

And when he does…

She has to confess it's hard not to moan when he starts spreading the lotion on her shoulders. His hands are rough, but yet, gentle. His fingers' pressure just right as he slides his thumb across her muscle. Over and over again. Sometimes stronger, others lightly. She bites her tongue. Discovering Harry is a massage expert is a new kind of torture she's sure will be coming alive in one of her dreams. She resists as much as she can, but when both his thumbs press on each side of her neck it's impossible to stop the loud moan leaving her lips. Harry stops. Her heart races and she's afraid he might be feeling it under his palms. After a beat he presses on the same spot and she can feel as he slowly loosens her knots. This is heaven. Her pain is indeed subsiding and she's not sure how to thank him.

However, when all his fingers go up her neck and into her scalp, massaging just the right amount, a chill runs through her body, arousing her even more and hardening her nipples. She's trying her best not to react to this, but she's failing miserably. She presses her hip down on the floor, trying to alleviate the desire in some way and Harry's hands grip her shoulders tightly. She can hear his breathing now. She moans again when his hands go down from her shoulders to her arms. She's sensitive all over and each touch is pure bliss and agony. "Is it good?" She almost jumps in place when she hears his voice so close to her ear. She had her eyes closed and wasn't expecting this.

"Yes." She says, despite herself.

Everything feels extremely sexual. Her moans, their breathing, his touch, his voice, the words. Even the lotion. Not to mention that she's half naked. She wonders if he's thinking the same, if he's feeling the same. Suddenly it's very unclear why they're not having sex right now. His hands keep going up and down her arms, his touch not so gentle anymore. Maybe one minute ago it stopped feeling like a massage. And she knows she should stop it. But then his hands travel back to her shoulder blades and he slides his fingers all the way down, pressing against her spine, stopping just at the waistband of her jeans. Hermione arches her back and his fingers close around her middle, his big hands on her sides and stomach. His fingers slowly going up, seizing her rib cage and dangerously close to her breasts. "Do you want me to keep going?" He asks. His voice is strained, it feels like he's begging her to let him. She doesn't dare turning her head to look at him and he leans even closer, his stubble brushing against her cheek. She enjoys the feeling way too much.

She wants him to keep going.

But she promised herself she was done suffering for this. Done imagining what could be. Done wanting him just to have him taken from her because of a call. Because of Tessa. Hermione snaps her eyes open.

"No." She says with certainty. And his hands leave her body fast. She hears him clearing his throat and pulling back. There's a moment where they don't say a thing. He stays in her bed and she stays on the floor, her pain a lot better. "I feel loads better, thanks." She murmurs.

"I- you're welcome." She still can feel all her body vibrating because of his touch, the absence of his hands on her a true torture. Then she hears him getting up. "I hope you get some real rest." He says before striding out of the room.

When he closes the door behind him she lets her tears fall down. Even if her muscles don't hurt as much anymore… her heart aches. She wonders if it's always going to be like this from now on.