February 24th, 2003

I've done something stupid. To be honest I've done a lot of stupid things recently - like falling in love with Harry.

So, last Friday we went to a Quidditch match and Draco invited Noah. We've been over for more than a month now, but to my surprise we've managed to stay good friends. Well, I'm keeping my distance from Harry, so, since the moment we left the flat I had my mind set on staying as far away as possible from him. This whole situation feels like torture, Tess. I… I admit I'm still in love with him. If it was up to me we would be together now, but he loves you and I understand, I really do. I know the fact that we're cousins complicates things even further. But my shot with Harry is gone, he'll never see me as something more than a friend. A friend that he happened to develop some kind of attraction. And it's easier for him to have a relationship with someone that's not related to the woman he madly loves that's in a coma. A woman like Sofia. I tried my best ignoring the fact that Harry was cheering wildly for her, tried my best to swallow down my jealousy, but I swear, Tess… And I don't get Harry. He kept looking at me, glaring at Noah. It angers me. He has no right. He chose this.

But the point is: I left with Noah. Nothing happened between us, we just talked as friends and he gave me all his support, but I stayed at his house for the whole weekend. I know this may stir things that should stay dormant… but I was seeing red. Sofia had just kissed Harry! Right there in the box, in front of everyone! And Rachel is fascinated by her! I was so mad, Tess.

I just got back home and Harry is out with Rachel. I have no idea where they are, but I know he'll say something, I know we need to talk.

I miss you, Tess. I still hope you'll come back to us.

She tries reading while she waits for them. She regrets her decision of leaving with Noah because she knows Harry must be thinking a thousand things. Not just that but she doesn't want to give Noah false hopes either. She's not in love with him and getting back together is not an option for her. However, today, she took the day off because she misses Rachel. She was anxious to see the little girl and now she's getting impatient because they've been out for at least two hours. Where are they? She considered sending them a patronus but she gave up on the idea. She left on Friday without even saying goodbye. It feels wrong to demand any kind of satisfaction now.

She perks up when she hears the keys unlocking the door. Her heart immediately starts beating in a crazy rhythm. Rachel enters the flat running, her face smeared with chocolate and she yells "Mama!" when she sees Hermione. She hugs Rachel tightly and it gives her life when the girl hugs her back with the same intensity.

"I've missed you, sweetie." She kisses her cheek and Rachel smiles, kissing her too, making Hermione laugh because of all the chocolate. "Hm, ice cream?" Rachel nods.

Then, Hermione finally looks at Harry. He's watching them, his jaw set and his eyes narrow.

"Harry." She says. He doesn't answer, instead he turns to Rachel and says:

"Pumpkin, time for that bath, yeah?" He's going past her without a word and Hermione feels desperate, she holds his arm and they stop breathing for a moment. He looks at her. "Help me give her a bath?" He asks in a low voice, his eyes on her lips. She feels draw to him, they're slowly drifting closer. She blinks fast and releases his arm.

"Sure." She says and he nods.

They don't say another word to each other the whole time they're with Rachel. Hermione tries focusing on the little girl as they sit down to eat and she surely doesn't mention the fact that Harry gave her ice cream before lunch, something they avoid at all costs since they noticed how Rachel loves anything sweet. As Hermione predicted after the bath, the moment Rachel stops eating she moves to the couch with her blanket and starts sleeping as an angel, so fast Hermione envies her peace of mind.

She's sitting on her usual stool and Harry on his, right in front of her. They don't move or talk for long minutes and she tries understanding what to expect. In her experience when he's like this… he's angry. So angry he can't even talk.

"I have just one question." He breaks the silence then, his voice deep. He lifts his eyes to hers, his hands holding the edge of the marble isle. She holds her breath as she waits for him to continue. A lot goes through her mind and the winning question she imagines is 'Are you and Noah back together?' but what he says is: "Do you want me to move out?"

She frowns. "What?" Blinking, she realizes what he's saying. "No!" She blurts out fast. Maybe too fast. Harry lets out a heavy breath. "Of course not, Harry." She watches as the tension leaves his body and he bites his lower lip. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Because!" His voice is high, his eyes wide, "We both know why, Hermione." She stops breathing.

"I know things have been… difficult. But my mind never changed regarding our situation with Rachel, Harry. I love her. I want her here." He nods and she bites her tongue not to say that she wants him there too. "But… if you want to go-"

"No." She breathes relieved too. "I wanna stay." He looks down. "I- I feel at home here, you know?" He shrugs timidly. His words surprise her. 'Home' is a strong word for Harry, she knows.

A silence stretches. "Good." She finally says. "I'm sorry… about leaving without a goodbye on Friday."

Harry gets up from the stool and turns his back to her, his focus on the dishes. "It's okay." He says faintly. Hermione wets her lips, she has no obligation whatsoever with him, she doesn't need to justify why she left with Noah, but she finds herself almost explaining everything, telling Harry they're only friends. "I was thinking about Rachel's party."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, how do you feel about camping?"

"Camping?"

"I talked to Ginny and she offered their backyard, we talked about gathering the Weasleys, there's a bunch of kids in the family already. We throw the party in the afternoon, camp at night."

She actually loves the idea. "Have you ever camped before, Harry? Apart from the camp from hell we did on the hunt?" He laughs in earnest and she smiles.

"No." He answers. "Have you?"

"A few times… with Tessa." He looks down and it's the first time ever that Hermione hates bringing up Tessa. "We used to go when we were around six, seven years old." She smiles sadly. "It's a nice experience. And thinking about it now… being magical facilitates a lot." She chuckles. "We don't have to worry about the weather or anything of the sort." She clears her throat. "I think Rachel will love it." She looks down, memories of how much Tessa enjoyed those little camping trips invading her mind. "Just like her mother." She whispers and notices Harry brushing a lonely tear.

It's irrational, but… she hates Tessa in that moment. She hates her for not being there as if the accident was her fault. She hates how much she misses her cousin, but most of all she hates the way Harry loves her. Hates how in two weeks they had something so strong- if Tessa were there Hermione would be probably married to Ron now, living at their own place. The thought makes her uncomfortable. A lot.

"It's settled then." His voice cracks a little and she gets up, ready to leave the kitchen, ready to forget how much she wished he had chosen her over Tessa.

"Good."

"Do you have the night shift today?" He asks.

"I took the day off. To be with Rachel."

Harry nods. "I- It's okay if I go out? There's a few things I want to do, a few places I want to go and such." She nods, annoyed. When he talks like that he usually means he'll visit Tessa.

"Sure. It's fine."

Hermione can feel he wants to say something else, but he's stopping himself. She waits another few minutes, pretending she's putting things back where they belong. But Harry doesn't say whatever it is he wants to and she finally leaves.

It hurts every time they're together the same way it hurts every time they go their separated ways.

March 1st, 2003

She stopped on her tracks when she entered the kitchen. She feels exhausted, but her mind can still comprehend what she's seeing. There are two croissants laying atop of the isle. Hermione walks slowly closer to the plate, there's a note under it: I thought you might be hungry.

She lets out a heavy breath. Damn you, Harry.

The Hospital is going through a few changes in its calendar and people's shifts and schedules are just crazy right now. That's why she's arriving home in the middle of the night. Hermione knows eating a croissant at 3am isn't the healthiest decision, but Harry's croissants are something you don't refuse. Ever.

Settling down on a stool she takes a bite and closes her eyes. Knowing he made them especially for her do things to her stomach that she wished she could ignore. Things are slowly getting back to 'normal' between them. At least she's not fully ignoring him anymore. She's still in love with him, though. It's impossible to turn off the feeling, but she wants her best friend back and it kills her to imagine a life where Harry isn't part of it. So, she decided she's not letting this misunderstanding hang between them forever. Rationally things are pretty simple: He loves Tessa and Hermione is his best friend. He got confused because he saw himself wanting her, but when Hermione wanted to go all in and risk everything for them, Harry backed out realizing he doesn't love her that way. And that's it.

These are the facts. Even if he cooks for her. She scrunches her nose at the croissant as if this delicious food is guilty of something. If Tessa were here he would be cooking for her. Sighing, she gets up and leaves the kitchen. It's been hard to ignore a feeling she thought she wouldn't have again. It's like she's taking Tessa's place. As if I'm a crappy replacement. She shakes her head, dispersing her thoughts. She needs to sleep. And she knows it will be another night that she'll fall asleep while crying.

March 8th, 2003

It started as a day as any other and Harry never imagined he would end it at St. Mungo's.

After a nice lesson about the many ways you can cook an egg, he fetched Rachel at the Burrow and went to the flat, stopping at the park first and indulging in Rachel's requests to spend some time at the playground. Lately Hermione barely spends any time with them because of her insane hours at the Hospital. He tries his best not to take her absence personally, but he knows that she's also using this as an excuse to avoid him.

After the playground and some quick shopping for dinner, Harry found himself cooking for him and Rachel, testing how they preferred their eggs. She loved them scrambled the most and his favorite was the soft boiled, which was a surprise in a way.

He already knew Hermione wouldn't be home that day. She left him a note saying she would be at the Hospital for 24 hours. So, it was an utter surprise when a patronus invaded his living room and a voice he recognized said:

"Potter, Hermione had a little accident at work, nothing you need to worry, but she wanted me to at least give you a heads up because she might not return home tomorrow."

Ned's voice. Then he registered the actual meaning of the message. An accident? In a blink he was getting up from the couch and fetching Rachel. It didn't matter if Ned thought he didn't need to worry. Of course he worried, it's Hermione.

Now, as he enters her floor at the Hospital with Rachel in his arms, he walks fast, his heart beating wildly and his mind a blur of thoughts. He already imagined all possible things, from the worst to the silliest. Fast enough he spots Ned and his chest fills with something heavy, sticky and uncomfortable. He tries not thinking about it but while his relationship with Hermione is still extremely awkward, she spends every day, every hour with her ex - or not, he's not sure about their current status. And it bothers him. So much.

"Noah." He says through gritted teeth and the man turns around to him. Harry sees his expression changing to one of distaste. Yeah, it's mutual.

"Potter. I told you it was nothing." He rolls his eyes and then his attention goes to Rachel. "Hey, Rach." He smiles and makes a face at her, which earns him a giggle. Rachel is already putting her arms out, wanting to go with Ned, or as she calls him, 'Oah'. Harry holds her firmly.

"Where is she? What happened?"

Ned crosses his arms and scowls at Harry. "She was heading down to the labs to search for a very specific potion we keep hidden away from most people." Ned sighs as if irritated he's explaining this to Harry. "Some healers are testing a new treatment and it's still very volatile… long story short, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time. A potion exploded the moment she was passing the lab's door and you know-"

"How is she?" He's barely breathing.

"A few bruises and some partial deaf that will go away in a few days."

Ned closes his mouth as if refusing to say anything else. Harry sets his jaw. "I want to see her. Now."

The man scoffs, shaking his head. "You know, Potter, I should tell you to piss off." Harry holds himself, a fair amount of insults directed at Ned going through his mind.

"Yeah? Why is that?" Rachel is restless in his arms now, as if feeling his distress.

"Because she doesn't need you here." Ned comes closer, his eyes narrowing. "I'm already taking good care of her."

Harry takes a deep breath. "I want to see her. I won't repeat myself."

It seems like Ned is not even considering letting him see Hermione, his jaw set and one of his hands closed into a fist. But then, Rachel calls to "Mama!" and Harry sees the man's posture changing abruptly, his eyes softening. Ned clears his throat.

"Room 304. Just because I know she'll be happy to see Rach." And after that he walks away without looking back.

"A-hole." Harry mutters under his breath and turns around to seek for Hermione's room. He soon finds it and before entering he knocks softly. There's no response from inside and he remembers she's partially deaf. It's just when he lifts his hand to turn the knob that he realizes he's shaking.

Hermione is lying on the bed and she's looking out the window, but she turns when he enters the room. She opens her mouth, surprised to see him there and he smiles at her. He can see a handful of bruises scattered over her exposed arms and face. Harry gulps, something tugging inside his chest. He puts Rachel down and the little girl goes running to Hermione's bed. His best friend rearranges herself to a sitting position and smiles brightly at the girl. Rachel wants to go with her, but Hermione says:

"Sweetie, mama is not strong enough right now, maybe dada can put you here with me?" She glances at Harry and he moves fast, in a blink seizing Rachel and settling her with Hermione. Rachel yawns and starts talking to Hermione about the eggs they were eating. Harry crosses his arms as he watches them. Hermione is nodding and agreeing, she also prefers scrambled eggs. Only after a while Rachel gives in to her tiredness and closes her eyes. It's amazing how fast she falls asleep.

Finally, Hermione turns her attention to him. "I'm fine, Harry. You shouldn't have-"

"I shouldn't have?" He doesn't know why, but he's angry. "You really thought I wouldn't come, Hermione? Seriously? And what kind of message was that? To say you had an accident and then not explaining it and telling me not to worry?" He snorts. "Honestly."

She widens her eyes, surprised. "I- I didn't think you-"

"Us not talking properly doesn't change how much I worry about you." His tone is sharp and she looks down. He sees as she purses her lips and brushes away a lonely tear. Then she nods.

"Okay, I'm sorry about the message. I just wanted to let you know."

"Oh, of course, thank you. For letting me know, I mean." He says ironically, behaving terribly, but he doesn't seem able to stop.

"I have no idea why you're so angry, Harry." She says. He runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes. It's hard even for him to understand. He sighs.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be this aggressive, I just- the mere thought of you… of you in a Hospital bed is… unbearable." He says it with certain difficulty and they share an intense look.

"I'm fine." She says firmly, her eyes holding his still. His chin starts to tremble as he realizes she's indeed fine. The relief is immense. "I'll be as good as new tomorrow, okay?" He nods and actually bites down his tongue not to cry.

Harry sits on the chair close to the bed and calms himself. Hermione, maybe shocked after his reaction, begins to tell exactly what happened. He listens with attention and when she stops to yawn he understands he should let her rest. So, he excuses himself to use the bathroom before going. But when he comes back, Hermione is already sleeping. He can't help a small smile. He gets closer to her bed and his eyes go over her bruises. They look painful. He feels agitated to imagine that she's probably still in pain.

He seizes a sleeping Rachel that weights close to a sack of heavy potatoes. He huffs. "You're getting too heavy." He mumbles. Then he looks one last time at Hermione. There's a tug on his chest and in a daze he leans over. Without really thinking about it he gives her a kiss on the cheek. "Sleep well." He says. Gulping, he apparates.

Only later when he lies alone on his bed he admits to himself that if he had the choice he would take all the lab's explosions in the world to protect Hermione. He would do anything to spare her from any kind of pain.

He's not sure how he feels about that.

March 19th, 2003

Rachel has been impossible the whole day.

And Harry has no idea what to do anymore. She cried and yelled and disobeyed him in every chance she got. For a child that's always so gentle and obedient she's sure behaving unusually. But Harry knows what's wrong. She misses Hermione. It's been weeks since they shared a lunch or a dinner together, weeks since Hermione tucked Rachel in or woke her up. Weeks since they've done something as a family. The last time they exchanged more than a few words was after her accident. And apparently Rachel's had enough. She wants Hermione's attention and her tantrums are pretty clear about it.

Harry wished he knew the exact hour Hermione is getting home today, but she probably won't be there before midnight again. To him it seems like she's at the Hospital all day. And he also misses her. Even if things were already strange between them, at least he could see her at home. Even if from a distance, she was there, Rachel with her, their words and laughter filling the place with life. He glances at the clock. It's almost Rachel's bed time and he's angry it'll be another day she hasn't seen her mother-

Hermione apparates inside. Rachel shrieks and they hug tightly. Harry watches as Hermione spreads kisses all over Rachel's face. All her bruises are gone and her hearing is back to its fullest, but she looks exhausted, nonetheless. He gets up from the couch, not holding back his smile as Rachel begs to be held by Hermione. Harry envies the easy way his daughter has all of Hermione's love and attention and then he slaps himself mentally right after. I chose this. He's painfully aware that he's not being showered with kisses too because he openly said to Hermione he wasn't sure if he was in love with her. And he's been regretting his words more and more as each day goes by.

They just acknowledge each other with a curt nod and she settles down on the armchair, Rachel hugging her still, her head against her collar bone as she closes her eyes. Harry motions to the kitchen. "Do you want to eat something?" He can see that she does, but she glances down at Rachel. She's already falling asleep as if Hermione's arms were what she was waiting for. Hermione gives him a side smile. He knows what she means, she wants that moment with Rachel. Harry sits back down. "She's been impossible today."

"Yeah?" Hermione has her arms around the little girl. "Why?"

"I think she misses you." Hermione smiles at that.

"I miss her too." She kisses Rachel's head. "The crazy shifts are finally over." She sighs. "I go back to my usual schedule next week."

"Oh," He tries not showing how happy this information makes him. "Good. Rachel needs you." I need you. She looks at him and they share an intense look. Harry is sure she can read his feelings, but she doesn't say a thing. "I baked you some croissants." He says timidly.

Hermione just mumbles something as she closes her eyes.

"Maybe you could tuck her in tonight." Harry says softly after a while. Hermione opens her eyes.

"Sure." She tries rubbing away her tiredness.

"I'll heat some food for you."

Hermione thanks him and gets up with Rachel, she magically gets rid of her healer's coat and disappears inside the corridor. Harry sighs. Getting up, he heads to the kitchen and stares at the croissants he made for her. Like he's been doing for the past days non stop. Hermione usually eats them in the middle of the night when she gets home and leaves him a 'thank you' note.

He waits for her to come back from Rachel's room, but after a long while he starts worrying. He was sure his daughter was ready to sleep, so… what's taking her so long?

He stops at Rachel's door. Hermione is lying with the little girl on the tiny bed they bought her. Harry pushes the door slightly open and crosses his arms as a smile spreads across his face. The sight of them giving him a warm feeling, something he didn't realize he was missing. Suddenly, he wants to cry. It seems ridiculous that it took him the past few weeks without Hermione - and an accident - for him to actually understand how he desperately craves her presence. To understand that the mere fact that she's there before 9pm is something that brings him joy and life. He's been suspecting this for a while, but now he's sure, it would be extremely difficult to live without Hermione. And what that says about his feelings?

He steps inside the room. Hermione is hugging Rachel close. Harry brushes a tear from his face. When Draco asked him if he was in love with her the question seemed impossible to answer… however, as his heart squeezes at the mere sight of her snoring softly with an open mouth and a disheveled hair, the answer seems obvious. Of course he's in love with her. He swallows the lump in his throat. And is it such a surprise? Not really. He chews the inside of his cheeks as he accepts this feeling. Maybe in an unconscious level he tried to deny it because he felt guilty about Tessa… because he felt like he owed her this chance that was taken from them, but it's undeniable that Hermione has been consuming his mind and heart for a long while now. When they first kissed he wasn't thinking about Tessa, but the call changed everything.

And he got scared.

He felt it so deep that after the call he went to St. George's every day, even without changes, even if his mind kept going back to Hermione. He was ready to risk everything with Hermione, ready to love her fully. But he couldn't shake a terrible feeling, as if being with her meant he had given up on Tessa.

But it's not really about that, is it? This is not about Tessa. That has been his mistake from the start. If something happened between him and Hermione, a glance, a touch, a word, his mind always steered to Tessa. But this is about them, it's about Harry and Hermione. And if he takes Tessa out of the picture: it's fucking obvious. They love each other. They want to be together-

A chill runs down his spine. At least, Hermione did want him until he rejected her. What about now? He didn't dare ask her if she got back with Ned. He's too afraid of the answer she might give him. And she said she didn't care if he realized he was in love with her… it was too late.

It can't be.

Hermione's stomach growls loudly and she opens her eyes, clearing her throat. Harry looks down, ashamed she caught him observing her. "Hey, come eat." He says to her in a low tone as she disentangles herself from Rachel's short arms. Hermione nods at him and opens a sincere smile.

"I'm famished." She whispers.

"I can see that." He chuckles lightly and she playfully slaps his arm. Then she stops, as if realizing what she just did. She looks down and leaves the room, Harry follows and they settle in the kitchen. He could leave her alone, but he doesn't want to. He wants to be with her. He wants to look at her. He wants to smell her. He wants to hear her voice.

Hermione gives him a strange look before sitting down with her food. As he watches her he wonders how he could've been so blind all these years. She was right there with him, by his side… and after she broke up with Ron and they traveled alone together he… fell in love with her cousin. He runs a hand through his hair. It's not surprising that she resisted them so much, no surprise she questioned him about the whole 'like a sister' thing. No surprise she only ended things with Ned when she was sure, when she thought he also was. His heart starts beating faster as he considers her not giving him a second chance, has she really closed this door for good? He narrows his eyes at her, thinking about the recent events. She was ignoring him, then, at the match, she was being all cuddly with her ex. But she didn't want me to move out. He raises an eyebrow. Because of Rachel, don't be stupid. After all, she spent another weekend with Ned, something she only did when they were together. And that day at the Hospital he said he was already taking good care of her. These specific words Ned said may drive Harry insane.

He should be the one taking care of her. Not Ned.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks and he blinks. He barely noticed he was admiring her, and now he's blushing. Great.

"Like what?"

"Like-" She waves her hand in a big motion and grunts. "Don't look at me like that." She whispers. He looks down, unsure of what to do. Should he tell her now? Tell her he's in love with her? Tell her that if the doctor called right now his only happiness would be the fact that Rachel gets to have two mothers? That his feelings for Tessa are in the past while his feelings for her are stronger than anything else he ever experienced? He opens his mouth- "I was thinking about Rachel's birthday." Hermione says and he stops to listen. "Can Noah go? I mean, she likes him. And he would love to." She shrugs and Harry forces a smile, his heart squeezing inside his chest, a sudden anger getting hold of him.

"You don't need my permission to bring your boyfriend." He says through gritted teeth.

Hermione opens her mouth, a wrinkle between her brows. "He- Okay." She says while she narrows her eyes. "If that's the case then he's going." He runs a hand through his hair and gets up.

Harry washes the dishes with a new found ferocity while she eats in silence. She's back with him. The confirmation keeps hammering his brain as a terrible headache. He's had enough of Ned. Enough of this situation. Hermione should be with him, they should be together raising Rachel as a real couple. He presses his lips together. What a mess. But as he scrubs the dirty dish, he calms himself and an idea starts forming in his mind… He hurt Hermione deeply, he broke her trust and her heart, so, now, he needs to get back this trust, get back to where they were to finally show her how much he wants this, show her how serious he's being about them. It wouldn't work if he started a fight with her because of Ned and her feelings, Hermione has every right to be with whoever she wants to. He tilts his head to the side.

If there's a chance of them working this out, this is it. And this time Harry won't be a coward. He's sure. He'll fight for her.

March 21st, 2003

He crosses his arms. Being there doesn't hurt as much as it once did. Tessa has her eyes closed and the monitors keep beeping in sync with her heartbeats. Harry's alone in the room with her and he's standing right at the foot of her bed.

Since he realized his feelings for Tessa were precious, but in the past, he's been thinking about this visit. He sighs. "Hey, Tess." He says. It was hard but he got used to talking to her out loud, even if there's no answer, it makes him feel better. "Rachel's not here today, but she's fine. Our girl is growing up so fast I dread I might blink and miss something." He chuckles. "She's been terrible lately and I mean, she's not even three yet, what's up with that, huh? Well, her birthday party is happening soon and it's a shame you won't be there. Hermione said you love camping." He stops talking for a while, his eyes lost. "There's something I need to tell you, Tess." He pockets his hands, his heart beating faster. "Destiny was cruel to us. Destiny and a few unfortunate decisions kept us apart, but even so you still gave me Rachel and she's the light of my life. You gave me everything, Tess, everything I could have asked for." He tries holding back his tears. "And I'll always be grateful. Rachel holds a piece of you that's always with me… but," He gulps, "I'm afraid that my heart isn't yours anymore, Tess. I felt bad about it for a long time. I felt like I was being ungrateful to the woman that gave me the world. But I can't fight this anymore, going against it is slowly killing me… I love Hermione. I really do. And I think I've been in love with her for longer than I realize." He lets out a long breath through his mouth. "This is harder than I thought." He mumbles while he brushes a few tears. "And I want her to be mine, I want to fight for her. I guess you can understand my feelings, in a way, you're practically her sister, so, you know how amazing she is. You know how fascinating and utterly caring she is. Maybe it would be crazy if I didn't love her, right?"

He moves and sits on the bed taking Tessa's hand in his.

"I'll never forget us, Tess. Never forget what we shared and the intensity of it. There's a special place for our memories together in my mind and in a way I'll always love you. You're Rachel's mother. Our love was the only thing capable of creating that amazing little girl." He brings her hand to his lips and kisses it gently. "I know you're waking up one day, I haven't lost my hopes. And I'm sure that when you do, you'll understand everything."

He stays there for another hour, watching her and thinking about his words. It feels like a ton has been lifted from his shoulders. This conversation with Tessa was the missing piece. Now he feels unstoppable, he feels capable of doing whatever it might take to be with Hermione, there's nothing holding him back. Prepare yourself, Ned. He smiles and with another kiss on Tessa's hand, he leaves.

April 4th, 2003

Tomorrow is Rachel's birthday! I'm excited, Tess! We're throwing her an actual party and I think she'll love it. Harry had a great idea and we've made all the necessary preparations. She's big and looking more and more like you.

On other news, all the drama between me and Harry is over. There's nothing more for we to discuss or feel. He's back to being his natural self around me. It's like our kisses never happened. I have to be honest and tell you that it hurts a little - okay, a lot. He's not in love with me. I think now he's sure of it. There's no more awkwardness between us because we're best friends and that's it. He thinks I'm back with Noah, he said it the other day and I didn't correct him. Maybe it's for the best if he thinks that way, maybe it's time for me to leave all these feelings behind the same way he did. It's hard… but I guess I've done harder things already. And we get along so well as best friends, we shouldn't ruin this, right? Even if I ache for his touch, even if my heart skips a beat when he's close, even if I think about kissing him more times than I probably should.

But things will work out eventually. I can only hope.

I miss you.

"So, that's a good plan, right?" Harry asks to Draco as they run side by side on treadmills.

They're alone inside Draco's Team training center. For a while now Harry's been joining his friend in a routine of exercises. He misses it from the time he was at the Auror training and he realized it's an amazing way of keeping his accumulated sexual frustrations at ease. It's good to sweat and free his mind of Hermione for a while. After he visited Tessa at the Hospital and poured his heart out, he's been trying to regain Hermione's trust by just being his normal self. The moment he stopped fighting his real feelings for her, things fell into its rightful place and he can't deny how easier it's for him to act normally. Because now he's sure. And with this certainty also came some peace of mind and all his desire for her. Not that it ever went away, but now he allows himself to really think about it, he allows himself to remember vividly the moments they shared. The last one they had on the couch with her nipples between his teeth, while she disheveled him and moaned, is his favorite one so far.

So, yeah. He needs to sweat.

Harry increases the speed and watches as Draco tries to keep up. Since he started treating her as if nothing had happened, she went back to naturally talking to him, which he considers a victory. They obviously still avoid some subjects, like Ned, and anything that might remember them about how close to becoming a real couple they got. Harry already began to attend a few cooking lessons and he enjoys talking about them with her. Hermione listens attentively and is more than eager to taste everything new he might cook. She talks about the Hospital and her patients, always with a smile on her face. The other day she kept laughing at a man who fainted while his son was being born. She said men wouldn't be able to live one day as a woman. He only laughed at that, his heart swelling just by being close to her in a friendly way again.

Draco stops the treadmill and supports himself on it, breathing hard and trying to catch some air. Harry keeps running. "Okay…" Draco begins, "You're telling me that…" He drinks some water. "Now you're sure about how you feel. Sure you're in love with her."

"Yes, that's what I've been saying the whole time." Harry opens his arms to point out the obvious.

"And since you're sure, you have a plan to win her over after you broke her heart." Harry nods. "And tomorrow at the party you'll put your plan into motion."

"Exactly!" He runs faster, excited. "Well, I've already started it by trying to show her that I'm still her best friend. And I think it's going well, at least now she lets me get close to her without flinching or walking away. I call this progress."

Draco sits on his treadmill and looks up at Harry. "Okay, but what if she thinks you just want to be her friend and nothing more?"

Harry hits the 'stop' button abruptly and turns to Draco. "Do you know if she's back with Noah?"

Draco makes a face while Harry grabs a towel to dry himself. "As far as I know, no. But it's been a while since I last talked to Noah and I realized Ginny is not telling me Hermione's stuff anymore." He shrugs. "Maybe she asked her not to."

"Okay. You won't tell Ginny anything about me then." He points at Draco.

"Harry, why not just tell her how you feel and hope for the best?"

"Because I broke her heart, Draco! I was an ass and I know she doesn't trust me anymore, at least not when it comes to something like my feelings. She said I wouldn't get a second chance and I believe her. So, the only way of actually having a second chance is showing her how serious I am about it. I… I need to take care of her, fix the damage." Draco is about to say something, but Harry raises a finger, "Okay, yeah, I don't want her to be completely oblivious to my real feelings and if I find the right moment I'll tell her, but otherwise no."

Draco shrugs. "So, what happens tomorrow?"

Harry opens a big smile. And then he begins to tell Draco exactly what he planned.