June 10th, 2003
Harry said they should go together and Hermione made no objections, but as they walk inside St. George's, each holding one of Rachel's hands, she wonders if she made the right decision. Since she gave in to her heart and went to Harry, things have been amazingly good and warm and all kinds of sexy. The only thing stopping them from telling everyone and even explaining anything to Rachel is Hermione's still nagging fears.
And today, as Tessa's accident reaches the mark of two years, she can't help remembering everything she felt that night: how awful it was to enter the Hospital with Harry and seek for informations, her heart beating wildly while she tried not to think the worst; the way the Hospital smelled, like cleaning products and… disease; how Harry reacted and lashed out on her; how hopeless she felt. She would have done anything in her power to bring Tessa back to them. Because, even now, she still reads articles and researches about comatose patients - both magical and muggle - trying to find some kind of answer - or miracle - to Tessa's situation. But it's a delicate situation, one Hermione sees everyday at St. Mungo's: currently there are twenty-five comatose patients committed there. And there's not a single spell or potion able to bring them back.
She gulps when they reach Tessa's floor. Rachel already recognizes the place pretty well, but Harry told Hermione that the first few times he brought her the little girl cried and wanted to leave. Hermione understands the feeling… when you're not visiting a newborn baby a Hospital is really not the nicest place on Earth.
Harry stops when they reach the door. Hermione can tell he's nervous and that splinter in her toe that consists of what Harry and Tessa had hurts a little. She feels awful about it, for so many reasons… but she can't help herself, her heart is a tricky pumping machine and now that she really gave herself to Harry, she knows she won't bear not having him this way for the rest of her life… but, yeah, Tessa. When Hermione knocked on his door that night, she knew there was no way of resisting him anymore, she knew she might go crazy if she kept shutting him out, but her thoughts about this being Tessa's life still hammer her head day in day out. And deep down she knows she always will wonder if she's not just… filling in.
He turns to her and smiles. Hermione smiles back and Harry opens the door, entering the room. Tessa is alone, but after they took off the breathing machine she looks more like herself than ever. Hermione sighs, it's so hard to accept this, hard to make peace with such a terrible situation. It's unfair. She brushes a tear away. Two years already. Two years that life kept going for Harry, Hermione, little Rachel. But not for Tessa, no. Tessa's been lying on this bed and sleeping. Her eyes closed to the world around her, ignorant to everyone she loves while they keep waiting for her to wake and smile. Hermione often imagines she's hearing Tessa's voice when she's there at the Hospital. It's crazy.
She watches in silence while Harry sits down on the chair close to the bed and brings Rachel to his lap, talking about mama Tessa. Hermione sits down at the foot of the bed, her mind going a million miles an hour. Rachel is talking about her favorite things to Tessa and it's impossible not to notice the countless similarities mother and daughter share. Hermione looks down at her hands. She knows Tessa would want her to be happy, but she never imagined her happiness would be Rachel… and Harry. Their little family. She wonders if she's ever going to be able to let go of this suffocating feeling, because even if Harry repeats how much he loves her every night, it's still hard to believe.
Raising her eyes she meets his. A question on his face. They haven't talked about Tessa since they got together. At least Hermione never brought up her insecurities. He must see in her eyes how this is a touchy subject, one she knows he will address soon. She's not sure she wants to talk about it, though.
Just before Harry can ask her something, the door opens and they turn to see… Leonard. It's been a long while since Hermione saw her uncle and she barely recognizes him. The strong and ruthless man is gone, what's left is just a shell of someone who used to dictate people's lives. Immediately she's up on her feet and greeting him. Leonard smiles faintly and to her utter surprise he hugs her so tightly she's not sure he ever did this his entire life, not even with his daughter.
"Hermione." He says with a shaky voice. "It's nice to see you. How you've been?" They're still holding each other.
"I'm fine, uncle." She moves a hand up and down his back trying to soothe the man. Tessa always doubted her father's love but if she could see him right now… "How you've been?" Hermione asks out of politeness, because she can see pretty well that he's a wreck.
"I've been better." He says and finally releases her, taking a step back. Hermione can see wrinkles that never existed and a sadness so profound that it's already part of him without even a conscious thought. "I'm glad to see you here-"
"Hi!"
Leonard stops and they all turn to Rachel on Harry's lap. Leonard blinks a few times, unsure. It's the first time ever he's seeing his granddaughter. A long silence stretches. No one moves. Rachel doesn't care.
"I'm Rachel!" She's smiling at Leonard.
Hermione can see Harry almost fainting on the chair. He's chewing the insides of his cheeks as if they were bubble gum and she knows he'll hurt himself and complain later.
"I'm three!" Rachel moves her hand and shows Leonard the number.
If Hermione didn't know better she would say she couldn't love this little girl more than she does right now. Her heart is so pure and bright, filled with good things and love. Harry clears his throat and before he can say anything, Hermione says:
"Sweetie, this is Leonard." She takes her uncle's hand and tugs him a little closer to the chair. "He's mama Tessa's dad." Hermione opens a smile.
"Like dada?" Rachel asks and points at Harry. Hermione nods.
Leonard leans a little down and finally speaks, "You look so much like her." His voice is barely there, but his hand brushes a few hairs out of Rachel's face. The man is smiling and crying. "Rachel." He whispers, testing the name on his mouth.
Hermione opens a little smile. Tessa chose Rachel's name when she discovered she was having a girl. Since they were little Tessa used to say her daughter's name would be Rachel because of the love of her life, - in Tessa's words - their grandmother, Leonard's and Hermione's father's mum. Tessa had an incredible relationship with her and unfortunately the woman left this world too soon. It never surprised Hermione that Tessa was the favorite grandchild. She purses her lips. For a while she didn't care about it because she was closer to her grandparents from the side of her mother, but still… it was pretty hard always being the second choice when Tessa was around.
Leonard seems hypnotized by Rachel, but then Harry breaks the silence and Hermione closes her eyes, already knowing it won't end well.
"Hi, sir, how you've been?" He extends his hand, but Leonard scowls at him and moves away from the chair. Without another word he leaves the room and closes the door with unnecessary brutality. Harry sighs and Hermione shakes her head. "It's unbelievable!" He's angry. "After everything and all these years-"
"Harry." She cuts him. "Not now. Please." His expression turns dark but he doesn't say a thing. "I- I can take Rachel outside if you want a moment with Tessa." She says through her teeth, her heart squeezing inside her chest. It takes Harry a moment, but then he nods and she calls to Rachel, not really proud of her urge to leave the room. It's overwhelming being there with Harry and Rachel at the same time.
It's like all her fears and hopes mix together before her eyes. It's too much.
When they get home, later in the afternoon, Harry announces he's baking them a cake because he feels like it. Hermione just smiles and heads to the living room with Rachel. He tries breathing calmly while he organizes everything on the counter. He hates how anxious he is. Seeing Leonard brought back all his insecurities and guilt in a way he wasn't expecting. It's been a while since he thought himself as the reason of Tessa's accident, but now he can't stop thinking about it, he can't stop remembering how Leonard told him it was his fault his daughter was in a coma.
And how Leonard's eyes sparkled at Rachel… how he said she looked exactly like Tessa, it all shook Harry to the core. However, he doesn't know how to feel about Leonard. The man is Rachel's grandfather, regardless all the pain and sorrow between them. It upsets him that his daughter doesn't have the chance of knowing him, but at the same time, it was Leonard's choice and he never even tried reaching out, he never asked if Rachel needed something. He never cared. And that pisses Harry off immensely.
Hermione's hand stops his. He was just mixing the batter and he didn't even realize how harshly he was doing it. He sighs and closes his eyes, shaking his head. Her hand goes to his hair and she strokes his scalp lightly, the sensation giving him peace. "Let's talk about it later?" She asks in a low voice, her body close to his, her chin resting on his shoulder. He nods and bumps his nose into hers, smiling a little. She kisses his shoulder.
"Only if you tell me what's bothering you." He says. She purses her lips and tries moving away from him but he holds her there. "We need to talk about it, Hermione." He knows it's something about Tessa. He could see it in her eyes at the Hospital.
"There's nothing to talk about, Harry."
He feels a hot wave of anger taking over him. He crosses his arms. "So, is this how it's going to be between us? I have to tell you everything and you won't even-"
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to-"
"Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing, isn't it? I want to tell you everything but you can't even-"
"Are you serious?" She takes a step back. "I tell you everything, Harry! Just because I'm not ready to talk about this particular thing you're behaving like-"
"Like what? Huh? I'm sorry I'm not the ideal boyfriend or whatever."
Hermione narrows her eyes. He instantly regrets his words. But he's too hurt and too proud to apologize right now, so, he doesn't. She snorts and leaves the kitchen. He turns back to his cake and tries his best to forget about their little misunderstanding.
But when the cake is done it tastes so bad that not even Rachel - who Harry is sure would eat a rock if it tasted like chocolate - wants to eat it and he knows he won't be able to function until he solves things with Hermione. She's been inside her room for hours now and he's not sure what to do. He showers with Rachel and then he tucks her in, his stomach twisting inside him as a new kind of nervousness takes over. It's the first time he 'fights' with Hermione after they became a thing. And it's incredible how it feels a thousand times worse than before.
He stops at her door. Now he doesn't know what to do. Maybe she wants to be left alone, maybe it's better if they just forget about it and move on. Maybe he can talk to her tomorrow as if nothing happened. He lifts an eyebrow at that. He knows he would be running away, but still… no. I have to talk to her. Specially because he's not sure he can sleep without holding her. He became addicted to it since they've been sharing a bed every night after they had sex. "Hermione." There's no answer from inside and he leans on the door. "Look, I'm sorry, okay. Let's talk about it." No answer still.
Harry grunts and opens the door. He frowns. She's not there. "Hermione?" He walks to the bathroom. Nothing. He can't believe she's not home while he's so anxious to talk to her. He leaves the room and heads to the Photo Room, fuming. It's like she doesn't even care. But when he enters the room, she's there. A bunch of pictures in her hands. She lifts her eyes to him and Harry sees how much she's been crying. He sighs and closes the door behind him, instantly regretting his thoughts. He pockets his hands and stops in front of the table, all the pictures Hermione is looking at have Tessa in them.
He waits.
Sniffing, she says, "There are times I still can't believe what happened." Her voice is barely there. "She was used to going on those trips, and only someone like Tessa would enjoy taking the car and driving for hours, I mean, she actually had fun. She used to stop at every station on the way just to buy something and talk to other people." Hermione shakes her head. "The world is a sadder place without her. That's what I think, at least." Hermione sighs and puts down the pictures, using her hands to brush away some tears. "I was so happy when you came back, Harry. I missed you so much on those two years you were training." Hermione shakes her head. "Even with Ron I used to caught myself thinking about how much I wanted to tell you about my days at the Hospital. I wanted to vent about the internship with you, wanted to hear about what you were doing. I thought a lot about you." They hold their gaze. "And I was living with Tessa, I saw her belly grow month after month, I saw the way she talked about you, I saw how eager she was to be with you… and when Rachel came-" She stops, choking.
Harry finally moves and sits by her side. He wants to hold her, but he doesn't. Hermione is at last opening up about Tessa and their relationship and he's afraid he might ruin the moment if he moves too abruptly.
"Rachel came and it dawned on me the enormity of what she meant." Hermione looks down. "She was living proof of your love, of how much you wanted to be together. And again I saw Tessa counting the days until your return. I had to listen to her dreaming about the life you would have. Not to mention the wonderful mother she was. Is." She pouts. "And I was fine with it, Harry. I was living my life with Ron and I thought about marrying him, of course I did, but something always stopped me. He wanted to move in together, but I said I had to wait for you to come back, Tessa couldn't take care of Rachel all by herself." She snorts a little. "But deep down I was making up excuses. Why, I had no idea." She looks at him again, her eyes soft. "And when you came back… I never felt so torn. I was so happy to be with you again, Harry." He takes her hand and squeezes it gently. He remembers feeling something very strong when he met her again after those two years. "And Tessa… I couldn't believe you were back exactly on the few days she wasn't home. And-" Hermione stops. "I knew you were just as eager to meet her, to be with her… but I had to tell you about Rachel, I saw you holding her for the first time ever and… I guess ever since that day my biggest fear was taking Tessa's place in this little family." She purses her lips. "Of course I would think about Rachel in this scenario. I'm her godmother. I love her with all my heart, but her mother is always going to be Tessa." Harry brings her hand to his lips, kissing it gently, letting her talk. "And when I saw myself doing all the things Tessa should be doing with the daughter she counted the minutes to meet… sometimes- most of the time is just too much, Harry."
"Hermione," He begins unsure, "why you put yourself in this place? No one expects you to be Tessa. Everyone knows you aren't." Her eyes are bright. "Even Rachel knows. And she loves you. She thinks of you as her mother, why deny this? You're not taking Tessa's place. You being a mother to Rachel won't stop Tessa from also being one. Why not have both?" She closes her eyes, tears falling down.
"It's not just that." She says in a thin voice. "I saw you two together, Harry. I saw how much you love her." He's already shaking his head, he knew this was an issue and he's just glad she's talking about it because now they can finally address the problem. "I was already feeling terrible because of Rachel and then… things changed between us and I felt again that I was stealing Tessa's life. Not only her daughter but the man she loves-"
"Stop." He moves closer, his forehead touching hers. "Please, stop." He bumps her nose with his. "Listen to me very carefully, Hermione." He leans back to look into her eyes. She seems broken and he wants to cry because of it. "What we share… us. It has nothing to do with Tessa. Nothing to do with my relationship with her. I understand you, I really do. But I don't want you to resume this beautiful feeling, that grew from our amazing friendship, into something so little as you 'stealing Tessa's boyfriend'." He uses his hand to emphasize his quote, "Yes, I loved her very much." He smiles. "We shared something special and Rachel is the living proof as you said." She lowers her eyes and he raises her chin. "But you're…" He gulps, sighing. "I don't even know how to say it." He feels emotional now. "It's impossible to tell what our lives would be right now if Tessa hadn't had that accident, but… I don't feel bad about us, Hermione. At all. Not anymore, at least. I love you. So much it bears the impossible." She snorts a laugh between her tears and he smiles. "I wanna share my life with you, I wanna tell everyone how much I love you, I wanna show Rachel how incredible our love is, how fortunate we are." He leans over and gives her a gentle kiss. "My heart is yours, honey." She smiles. "Don't you ever doubt that, please. And whenever you feel like you're taking Tessa's place, please, talk to me, okay?" She sighs and nods. "We deserve to be happy, Hermione. And I've never been happier in my entire life."
She widens her eyes. "Really?" She asks in a low voice.
"Really." He kisses her again and she brings him closer. "And I'm sorry about the way I talked to you in the kitchen-"
"It's fine." She says fast as she kisses his cheek and jaw, he can already feel the goosebumps all over his body while he moves to kiss her neck, her hands in his hair, but then Hermione pulls back. "Wanna talk about my uncle?"
Harry grunts. "What a way to kill the mood." They both chuckle. "Let's." He says and gets up, his hand outstretched for her to take. "My room or yours?"
She steers them to her room and closes the door, heading to the bathroom. Harry strips, leaving on only his boxers as he walks to the bed. They've been doing this since the night Harry considers the best of his life and he can't even comprehend how well he sleeps with her by his side. It's amazing.
Hermione comes out of the bathroom only in a large t-shirt and panties. For a moment Harry frowns. It's the first time he sees her wearing a t-shirt to bed. He points at it while she pulls the covers to lie down. "Whose this?" He purses his lips. He knows she didn't buy it herself.
She opens her mouth, her eyes widening a little. "I… it's mine." She shrugs. Harry narrows his eyes, suddenly extremely territorial.
"Oh, no, no, no. You took it from someone." He's sitting now, his arms crossed over his naked chest, his muscles tense. Hermione has her eyes on his torso.
"Yeeeesss." She says slowly, "But the moment I got it for myself the t-shirt became mine, don't you agree?"
"You won't get away with a technicality." Hermione clicks her tongue.
"Harry…" She looks down. Then she sighs. "I was trying to avoid this, but you'll just have to get used to it, okay? I… I can't control myself when it comes to these t-shirts!" She blurts out and he frowns.
"What do you mean?" Now he's extremely curious.
Hermione grunts. She moves her hand, calling him to her closet. Harry practically jumps out of the bed and follows her inside. "Okay, so…" She turns to him. "No judging!" She says before opening a drawer.
Harry opens his mouth and… snorts a laugh. "Are you serious?" She just covers her face with a hand. "My, my, darling, there must be at least fifty t-shirts here." He says as his hands go through the drawer. Then he stops at one he recognizes. It was Ron's. "Are you saying they're all from your exes?" He sets his jaw, suddenly not finding it so amusing anymore.
"Yes." She says in a low voice. "Look, I just love sleeping in them, okay? It's not a big deal." She shrugs. Harry is still looking at the t-shirts, at least three more he recognizes as Ron's. There must be a lot from Ned there.
"No. No way. It won't do."
"Harry." She warns him.
He's shaking his head. "No way. Look," He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't mind you owning them… okay, fine, a little, maybe, but please, it's just- you sleeping with me while wearing Villin's t-shirt is just too much." He raises a hand, pointing out to her t-shirt and making a point.
"This one is actually Ron's." She says with a smile. "Okay, fine. Sorry, you're probably right. It's just… Noah didn't mind and then I was sleeping with his anyway, so…" She shrugs.
He tugs her closer by the t-shirt.
Then he roughly pulls it up and off of her. He smiles. "Way better." He kisses her, his arms bringing her to him by the waist.
Their kisses escalate quickly, maybe because he feels extremely possessive right now or maybe because they had their first misunderstanding as a couple. It really doesn't matter. He hoists her up and Hermione's legs go around his waist, Harry walks them back to the bed as he devours her neck, biting not so gently, making her gasp. He lays her down on the bed also not so gently. But there's a glint of mischief in her eyes and she's smiling seductively at him, opening her legs, one of her hands pinching her nipple as she spreads herself in front of him. He bites on his lower lip and moves to her, kissing her stomach and taking off her panties.
Hermione sighs when he stops his kisses just above her clit. She's squirming under him, waiting. "Haaaarry." She calls and he smiles.
"Do you want this?" He can see her fisting the sheet.
"Yes." He kisses her thigh, provoking, his hands going up to her breasts, squeezing.
"Do you," He's spreading kisses and licks all over her, except where she wants the most, "promise me," he keeps going, his mouth hot against her skin, his cock already hard for her, "you won't wear those t-shirts anymore?" He's holding her hips now, her hands on his hair. She narrows her eyes. "Only mine?" He tilts his head, a small smile on his face.
"Only yours." She agrees with a whisper and in a blink he's sucking on her clit, his tongue tasting her. What he loves the most about this are the sounds she makes, he could do this all day if it meant hearing her practically whimpering under his ministrations. He adds a finger with his tongue, his other hand pinching her nipple. He already figured out a few things she likes and he adds another finger while his tongue swirls around her clit. His cock is twitching inside his boxers, just to feel her tight walls he trembles from anticipation.
The sex between them has been… mind blowing.
One of her hands seizes his that's on her breast and pulls it up to her mouth. He groans when she sucks on his thumb, their movements in sync. It does not take long for him to feel her tensing, her body jerking, her back arching. He licks her while she rides her orgasm. Then he stands up.
Hermione is limp on the bed, a smile on her face while she watches him with heavy eyelids. He's breathing hard, mesmerized by her. When she slows down a bit she raises her hand and flicks her wrist. His underwear is gone in a blink. With the same hand, Hermione calls to him with her index finger, the gesture very clear.
He smiles and pumps his cock slowly, his eyes on her. She licks her lips while she watches him and Harry knows she likes it. He keeps doing it, knowing it will arouse her and help her get there again. When she groans, he finally moves, her embrace his favorite place in the world. "You'll be the death of me." He says into a kiss and she chuckles, biting his lower lip.
"I need you inside me, love." She says in a desperate tone and he gladly obliges.
He moves fast and hard. Still high on how possessive he felt just now with the t-shirts. "You're mine." He whispers in her ear as he moves in and out of her. She doesn't answer, but she kisses him with a new found ferocity and not long after that Harry comes saying her name. He bites her neck and she comes too, her hand tugging on his hair so fiercely he's afraid she might pull out all his hair.
When he pulls out of her they hiss, already missing the contact. "I never imagined I would become addicted to sex." Hermione says and he laughs out loud.
"Yeah?" He asks. "I might join the club with you." He pinches her waist and she yells, laughing.
"I never enjoyed it so much." She says in a low voice and he feels his chest swelling from a primitive male pride. He feels the same. They've been having sex every day since that first night, regardless their mood or even her soreness. Almost as if they're trying to make up for the time they lost.
"Right there with you." He says and she turns on the bed to look up at him. They share a soft gaze. "I love you, honey." He says.
"I love you too, darling." She yawns and sits up. "I'll just-" She points to the bathroom and he nods, sighing.
When she vanishes inside, he gets up slowly and fetches his boxers, then he opens the door without making a sound and heads to his bedroom. If she wants t-shirts to sleep with she can have all of his. He scoops up literally all his t-shirts and goes back to her room, first stopping at Rachel's to peek inside. She's sound asleep and he smiles.
Hermione is already on the bed when he walks inside with all his t-shirts. She laughs loudly, her eyes wide. "I can't believe you, Harry." She shakes her head.
"Which one do you want today?" He raises an eyebrow and picks his favorite one. It's plain red with a little and useless pocket on it. He puts the rest of the t-shirts on her chair and goes to her with the red one. She's still laughing and he helps her put it. "Perfect." He says and kisses her.
"Such a leo." She says against his mouth.
He shrugs and lies down on his left side, Hermione nestles herself against him, her back to his front and he spoons her, their legs tangled, his arm bringing her impossibly closer. He breathes her in and exhales happily. "Before we first kissed I wondered what would happen if we had sex and didn't like it." He feels her chuckling. "Can you imagine it? What if it sucked?" He asks seriously.
"I never even considered this option." She says. "Just from touching you I felt extremely… ready."
He kisses her neck. "Did you?" She nods. "Mmmmm. Me too."
"Oh, I know." She says and they chuckle.
After that a silence falls between them, but he keeps spreading kisses on her, totally lost on the feel of her skin under his mouth. Then she says, "Tell me how you felt today. When you saw my uncle with Rachel."
"Angry." He says bluntly. "I mean, not at first. I guess I was too nervous to feel something when Rachel talked to him. But then he left and it started growing inside me. He never cared about her, love. He never tried reaching out or asking if she was fine, if she needed something." He purses his lips. Her hand is caressing his. "It pains me that Rachel doesn't know her only grandfather, but I don't want him near her." He knows he might sound a little harsh. "I mean, we don't need him and we know what a dictator he can be. Tessa suffered enough in his hands already."
He stops talking. Hermione only asks, "Are you feeling better now?"
"Yes." He kisses her neck again. "You make everything better, Hermione." She doesn't answer and something pops up into his mind. "Do you still wanna keep us a secret?" She stiffens in his arms.
"I-" She sighs. "It's still hard." She whispers and his chest hurts a little. "I mean, I've been having these thoughts I told you about taking Tessa's place for two years, I don't know how fast I can let them go. And I wished they weren't connected to our relationship, but unfortunately they're."
"Us being together in secret doesn't make it less real, Hermione." He squeezes her middle gently. "This is real. What we're sharing right now is extremely real, love." He kisses her neck. "What I feel for you is also very, very real."
"I know. Just… give me a little more time, okay?"
"Of course. Whatever you want."
"Thank you, love."
He knows the exact moment she starts sleeping.
It takes him more time because he can't help thinking about everything she said. It's always tough to imagine what his life would be right now if he had came back three days earlier or if Tessa had given up on that specific trip. This used to make him sick with all the possibilities, but now he doesn't dwell on it. He loves his reality the way it is. He only hopes Hermione can also make peace with it.
June 22nd, 2003
If it was up to her, her relationship with Harry would stay a secret. She kinda of likes how the secrecy makes things more intimate. When people don't know about your private life there's no way of things going wrong. And she knows that the moment their relationship is out in the world it will be the most talked subject everywhere. People never get tired of talking about Harry Potter. He never even glanced at the papers when he came back from his Auror training, but Hermione read a few at the Hospital and she knows how they like to explore and speculate on the fact that Harry had a daughter with a muggle. He would be furious if he saw any of them, that's why she hides everything from him.
And it doesn't make much of a difference in their lives. Since they live in muggle London and Harry is actually taking muggle cooking lessons, he's not on the spotlight too often anymore. But well… if they start behaving as a couple out in the open, their relationship is bound to be on the cover of a paper in a few days. To be honest that was the second reason why she wanted to keep them a secret, but now…
She sighs. She and Harry are at a party at Draco and Ginny's. And usually these parties consist on Draco inviting his Team. Hermione sets her jaw. Ginny is asking her something, but her eyes are on Harry on the other side of the room. Sofia just arrived at the party and Hermione is sure she'll seek him out. And now having a secret relationship with him just seems dumb. Because if everyone knew they would be attached by the hip, which would certainly - or supposedly - stop Sofia from trying anything. Hermione inhales sharply when the woman spots Harry and walks to him with a purposeful stride.
"Hermione!" Ginny calls her.
"What?" She asks not averting her eyes from Harry and Sofia. He just greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a smile. Hermione still can't believe how extremely beautiful the woman is.
"Is Rachel at the Burrow?" Ginny asks. Hermione nods.
"She loves the Burrow." She says automatically, her mind and focus totally on the way Harry is smiling at Sofia and nodding at her words.
"Hermione?"
"Yes?"
"I'm pregnant!"
"Really? Well-" She widens her eyes, her brain belatedly registering Ginny's words. "What?" She almost yells and turns to look at her, but the Weasley is laughing. Hermione grunts.
"At least I got your attention. What's going on?"
Hermione bites her lower lip, pondering. She glances over at Harry, and Sofia is still there, near him, talking and acting as if they were a real couple. Ginny is waiting and Hermione is ready to tell her the truth, but her eye catches Noah approaching them. "Draco invited him?" She asks Ginny with the corner of her mouth and her friend shrugs. She sees the exact moment Harry spots Noah. His face falls completely and suddenly he's quiet, his smile gone. The others keep talking around him, but his eyes are fixed on Hermione.
Noah finally reaches her. "Hermione!" He says with enthusiasm. They've been meeting at the Hospital, but always exchanging friendly words and nothing more, Hermione never led him on after their break up. He's already kissing her cheek and holding her by the waist.
"Noah!" She says and opens a tight smile. Harry is drilling holes into the back of Noah's head. "Didn't know you would be here."
He greets Ginny and Hermione purses her lips at Harry, discreetly shrugging. "Well, Draco invited me, I hope is not a problem." Noah is saying and she turns to him.
"Not at all!" She says fast, "I'm just surprised. How you've been?"
One of the things Hermione enjoyed while she was with Noah was the easy way he could steer a conversation. And that's exactly what he does right now as he begins to talk about his adventures. She decides to give him her attention, she owes the man this much.
So, when, after a while, Harry stops by her side he actually startles her. "Villin." He says with a smile.
"Potter."
Hermione restrains herself from rolling her eyes. Then there's an awkward silence. To Hermione's utter disbelief, is Sofia who breaks it as she approaches them. "Hi, everyone!" She smiles and puts one arm around Harry's waist, leaning into him. Hermione narrows her eyes. The nerve.
Noah doesn't need any further encouragement to continue with his story. Ginny is attentively watching the way Hermione is trying to don't move while Sofia is still resting her head against Harry's body. He didn't hug her back but it pisses Hermione off that he didn't step away either. She knows he's looking at her, but her eyes are trained on Noah, who keeps talking and talking. She doesn't have a relationship with him anymore, but Harry never ended things with Sofia because they never had a thing to begin with.
She can't even grasp how uncomfortable she is. It's like there's a sticky and suffocating thing inside her, taking over her lungs and heart, seizing her thoughts and bringing out the worst. Now that she knows how bloody incredible sex with Harry is she can't help thinking how it was between him and Sofia. Can't help wondering if he liked it the way he does with her, if he did the same things, if- then she's thinking about his other partners and Ginny is right there by her side, not to mention Tessa-
And the thought disturbs her so much that when Noah says he's fetching more drinks she immediately says she's going with him. They stop at a large table filled with boozes and spells to conjure some more. She's not paying attention to his words, she's just trying to expel from her mind what took over her minutes ago. Of course she knew Harry had had sex with other women, but it never felt so real and undeniable. And she doesn't want to go down that path because she knows she won't rest if she does. She'll keep wondering if he compares her in some way and-
"Hermione?" Noah is calling her, his hand on her arm, gently trying to have her attention. He smiles when she looks up at him. "Are you okay?" She purses her lips and he immediately runs his hand down her arm to her hand, intertwining their fingers and tugging her away, to the backyard.
She doesn't see Harry while she lets Noah take her.
When they're outside he sits down on a bench and she settles by his side, watching the night. There are only a few people there and Hermione is thankful for the silence. Her mind is finally slowing down and she breathes deeply. She never felt this kind of jealousy before. It's like only Harry can do that to her. Which is funny because she never felt more sure and secure in a relationship, but at the same time it makes sense since her fear of losing him is bigger than it ever were before with any other man. But she knows they just need to have a conversation like two adults. And finally tell everyone that we're together. It's partially her fault, she knows.
"So, are you telling me what's bothering you?" Noah asks and she turns to look at him, her crazy jealousy and disturbing thoughts gone. She shakes her head.
"It's nothing, really."
"Well, if you say so-"
"Hello." Harry interrupts Noah, his eyes narrow as he watches them. "Hermione, can I have a word with you? In private?"
She smiles at him, actually happy that he's there. She's already getting up when Noah says, "I don't understand why you keep doing what he wants, Hermione."
His words cut the night sharply. She sees the moment Harry's anger rises to his eyes, but before he can say anything to Noah, Hermione turns to him. "Noah, I get why you might think this way," She goes to Harry's side and takes his hand in hers. Harry immediately relaxes by her side and smiles at her, his thumb caressing her hand, "but we're together now." She shrugs to Noah. "I think it's time everyone knows about it."
Noah snorts and stands up, shaking his head. "After everything he did to you, Hermione?" Harry squeezes her hand automatically. "You know he's bound to break your heart eventually, don't you?"
Harry moves, taking a step in Noah's direction. "I think it's time for you to leave, Villin." He's so angry. "Now."
Noah scoffs at Harry and with one final glance at Hermione and their jointed hands he walks away, entering the house and disappearing. Harry exhales heavily by her side and she closes her eyes, aware that there's a little fight coming.
"What did he mean, Hermione?" He asks in a low voice, his eyes on the ground. "After everything I did to you?" He finally turns to look at her, his eyes are sad. "You talked to him about us? And what the fuck happened for you to walk away with him like that? Holding hands?" He sets his jaw. "I know Sofia was all over me, but I already told her I'm not… available anymore."
She moves closer to him, her arms going around his neck and before she says anything she kisses him gently. Harry sighs against her mouth, his hands holding her waist. She moves back and bumps his nose with hers, their eyes still closed. Then she kisses his cheek and hugs him. He kisses her neck and they stay that way for a moment… reassuring the other.
"When I broke up with him," She begins, "I told him I wanted to be with you, Harry." She ends their embrace to look into his eyes. "And then, after… after you said you weren't in love with me, I ran into Noah at the Hospital and we talked as friends-"
"I'm sure he wants to be your friend, Hermione." He says ironically.
She raises an eyebrow. "It doesn't matter what he wants, Harry. I never gave him hopes of anything-"
"You spent a weekend with him after Draco's match." He sets his jaw. Hermione sighs.
"As a friend." She says firmly. "Nothing happened between us. I just needed to be away from you." Her voice is low. "And Noah was there. He really helped."
Harry grunts, his eyes on the ground.
"And right now… I just snapped inside my own head." She moves her hand, trying not to go back to those disturbing thoughts.
"Why? Because of Sofia? You know there's absolutely nothing between us."
"I know." She smiles and takes his hand. "Maybe we can talk about that later. Now I want to introduce my boyfriend to my friends." She mocks him and he opens a side smile.
"Really? Well, do you think I'll like him?"
"Let's see," She says as they start to walk back inside, "He's incredibly handsome, thoughtful, caring… he cooks." He has a big smile on his face now.
"He seems perfect. What else?"
"He's…" She lowers her voice and says into his ear, "the best sex I've ever had. I mean, amazing in bed." He brings her closer, squeezing her waist, his mouth on her neck. "And he gives the best massages." He chuckles on her skin.
"Hermione," He says when he pulls back to look into her eyes, "You found your better half, I think. I approve this boyfriend."
"You do?" She tilts her head, joking. "But I have to say he's also very stubborn, you know? Not to mention territorial and sometimes a bit hot headed." She raises an eyebrow and he purses his lips, but she can see how amused he is.
"I would say those are minor flaws compared to all the rest." He shrugs and she chuckles.
And then they're already stepping into the house and everyone close by is watching them with wide eyes. Hermione doesn't mind. Harry brings her closer by the waist and they walk further inside, in a blink Draco and Ginny are in front of them.
"Is this real?" Ginny asks, her eyes on Harry's hand. Draco's mouth is hanging open.
"It is." Harry says.
Hermione looks at him. He has that smile on his face. The one she saw him giving Tessa a few times, the one he always opens for Rachel. And now apparently the one he gives when telling others they're together. She can't help blushing.
"Well, about time." Draco says and smiles, patting Harry on the shoulder. "So, let's party!" He yells a little.
Harry looks at her, the smile still on his face, his eyes sparkling. Hermione shrugs. "Why not? I mean, Rachel is at the Burrow anyway."
He kisses her and Ginny claps by her side. Hermione is so happy she doesn't notice the only two people at the party who didn't enjoy their announcement.
Noah watches from the far corner of the room. His eyes following Hermione as Potter kisses her. He hates him. Noah has no words for how much he loathes Potter and the way he presents himself as if he owns the world. Hermione was supposed to be with him, not with Potter.
"Not much of a party for us anymore." He turns to look at the woman by his side. She's stunning. "I'm Sofia." She introduces herself. "Used to be Harry's 'affair'." She smiles. "You were Granger's boyfriend, right?"
He nods. "They won't last." He says with a final tone.
"How can you be so sure?" She sips on her drink.
An idea immediately comes to him. "Maybe we can be good friends, Sofia." He smiles at her. Indeed, maybe they can be the best of friends.
July 1st, 2003
When she apparates home, the place is silent. Hermione frowns and calls to Harry. There's no answer so she starts searching for a note or something. She finds it in the kitchen: Honey, I won't be home when you arrive, but don't worry I'm fine and counting the minutes to see you. Went to another store with Draco to search for a wedding tux. Will be back in time for us to fetch Rachel. Left food in the fridge. Love you.
Her insides melt at the note and she opens the biggest smile ever. She never imagined she would be able to love him more, but everyday she finds new reasons to. The same way, she's also discovering new things about him - some are adoring, like the way he can't sleep without socks, while others are a bit annoying, like the way he always leaves a wet towel on the bed or on the sink - not to mention that she realized her favorite thing in the world is to listen to his heartbeats while they talk about everything and nothing.
She couldn't be happier. Hermione sighs, finding it hard to admit to herself that she misses him already. It's like the flat is empty without him and Rachel, it's like her life has no meaning. And sometimes she finds it extremely alarming to be having these thoughts. Of course there are other things that make her happy, but right now, in this moment, Harry and Rachel are… everything.
Sitting down on her stool she begins to eat. She had a strange morning at the Hospital. And she's still pondering if she'll tell Harry what happened. Noah came to her and started talking about the transference to Paris. However, when she broke up with him she made it perfectly clear that she had no intention in going anymore, that her place was there, in London, with Rachel. Noah said he understood, but now he brought it up again.
And Hermione doesn't want to tell Harry because she never even mentioned this transference. He has no idea about it and she fears he might turn it into something that it really isn't. Yes, at the time she actually considered going, but things were a mess between them, she thought the only way out was leaving. Now, the mere thought of being away from Harry and Rachel makes her sick.
But there was something in the way Noah talked to her that Hermione can't quite pinpoint. His eyes were… odd. Hermione couldn't see that same kindness she always saw there and maybe it's because he doesn't agree with the fact that she's with Harry. Doesn't matter. It was strange. And in her opinion he was too persistent. He had her forms with him and he was talking about how today was the last day to apply for the spot, that she should do it since it was an unique opportunity. And then when Hermione refused he went a little… crazy. He was baffled that she would throw away her life and career because of Harry. Even when she explained it had nothing to do with Harry she's sure he wasn't listening, because he just left the room and never came back.
"Maybe it's better if I don't tell him." She murmurs to herself. What would be the point anyway?
Harry can overreact and Hermione wants to avoid this kind of problem. Things are so great between them it would be a shame to ruin it because of Noah. Maybe 'exes' should be a forbidden topic. She raises an eyebrow at that, agreeing with herself. They already talked about them and Hermione is sure not mentioning her relationships with Ron or Noah would do wonders to Harry's mood. The same way she really doesn't want to hear about Ginny, Sofia or Tessa. Not that Harry talked about Tessa… he didn't, and in a way Hermione is grateful, it would have been too awkward. But it also gives her a suffocating sensation… not talking about Tessa only shows clearly how what he had with her was different on every level.
But before she can truly decide what to do, Harry apparates inside. "Honey, I'm home!" He's laughing and she smiles at his good mood while he walks to the kitchen.
"I missed you, darling." She says back to him.
Harry kisses her hard. "Hmm, you taste so good, sweetheart." He kisses her again and Hermione smiles. He sits by her side. "Draco finally picked a tux!" He raises his hands to the sky. "I swear, he was driving me crazy." He moves and grabs a glass of water. "What about Ginny? Aren't you two going on a dress hunt?"
Hermione shakes her head. "Not yet. She wants to be sure of the venue before choosing the dress."
Harry nods. "So, how was your morning?" He asks. She tries not reacting. Immediately she decides she won't tell him what happened with Noah and the transference.
"It was fine." She shrugs. "Although a woman had an allergic reaction to a Bertie Bott's bean." She tries not laughing. "Poor woman."
Harry makes a face. "Which flavor?"
"Rotten egg."
He stops a gag. "It's really disgusting." She agrees. "But tell me, what are we doing today?" He asks sincerely. It warms her heart how he always wants to plan their day together.
"Well, soon we need to fetch Rachel. Then I'm not really sure… I guess we could just stay in, you know? Watch a movie or something."
He nods. "I agree. I love when we scoot together on the couch." He moves closer to her, his hands on her thighs. "My two favorite girls in the whole world." He says fondly and she kisses him softly, their noses caressing each other. "I think I'm addicted to you, love." Hermione brings him closer by the neck and slides her tongue into his mouth. He groans softly and stands from the stool. "How much time do we have?" He asks between kisses on her jaw.
"Enough." She says and he bites her neck. Then he rubs his cheek against hers and Hermione's toes curl on their own. She has no idea why she loves this gesture so much. It's so thoughtful and sexy at the same time that she can't decide if she wants to cuddle or shag him senseless. But by the way his hand darts under her shirt, she knows exactly what he wants.
And she gladly complies.
The moment Harry ends preparing the popcorn, everything goes dark inside their flat.
Rachel shrieks in the living room and he hears Hermione trying to soothe her. He frowns and tries switching a light on. Nothing happens. Raising his wand he murmurs the lumos he knows so well and walks over to the couch. Hermione's wand is also illuminating the place, but she's looking out the window with Rachel clutched to her legs.
"The whole block is out of power." She says to him, shrugging. "I guess living as muggles has its downsides."
He cocks his head to the side. He can't see how being in the dark with Hermione and his daughter is a downside. "Well, we can't watch the movie now, but," He raises a finger and places his wand on the center table, extending his hand and doing the same with Hermione's, "we can tell stories." He smiles at Rachel's reaction. She loves when they read for her or tell a story from their heads.
Harry settles on the couch and Hermione sits by his side, Rachel literally lies down on his torso and he hugs her, kissing her head. "Are you afraid, sweetie?" She nods shyly. "It's okay. Nothing bad will happen."
Hermione starts eating the popcorn and for a while they just get used to the dark. One of his hands rests on her thigh. They're pretty comfortable and soon enough Rachel is already loose in his arms, not so afraid anymore.
"Story!" Rachel says and Harry looks at Hermione. She sighs, thinking.
"Okay," Hermione finally says. Harry knows she doesn't like telling stories this way, Hermione feels like she needs the book in her hands, as if this only makes sense if she reads the words written on the paper, her voice giving life to it. Only after Harry and Rachel started urging her to tell stories from her own imagination Hermione began to try. And Harry loves her with all his heart, but he has to recognize that Hermione Granger may suck at this. It's incredible how this simple fact makes him love her even more. He's not sure how that's even possible, but it is. "Don't laugh." She murmurs to him, pointing a finger and he opens an innocent smile.
"Come on," He says, "Rachel wants to hear it." The little girl agrees and Hermione shakes her head, a smile on her face.
"This is a story about three friends." Harry narrows his eyes. "Two boys and one girl." Her voice is soft. "One of the boys had red hair, just like aunt Ginny. The other boy was known for his broken glasses," He smiles, "and the girl was always walking around with a book in her hands. They met at a magical place filled with secrets, dangers and enchantments." She moves her hands in the air to give a flare to her words. Harry chuckles softly, his heart swelling with love and hurting at the same time. He knows the story she's about to tell. "They were there to learn, but I can tell you, Rach, those two boys rather preferred getting themselves into trouble than learning anything." Rachel giggles, her eyes big as she pays attention. "However, at first, they weren't really friends, the boy with the red hair didn't like the girl very much…" She leans closer and says, "or maybe he liked her too much and didn't know what to do around her." They exchange a glance and her words make him a tiny uncomfortable. "One night these two boys even got the girl into a mess!" She widens her eyes showing the absurdity of it, "and the girl knew she was better off away from them. She knew they might drag her into prohibited things. But, you see, she liked them." She smiles. "Very much. So it was hard to stay away. She used to find herself thinking about what they were doing or worrying if they were about to be expelled from that magical place." Harry squeezes her thigh. "And then came a Halloween night and the girl found herself with a serious problem." Her voice is low and Rachel is curious.
"Problem?" She asks, probably not fully understanding the meaning of the word.
Hermione nods. "But you don't have to worry, sweetie, the boy with the broken glasses remembered her." One of her hands squeezes his. "And with his friend they went to the rescue!" Hermione raises a hand in the air, smiling wide. Harry never imagined perceiving their lives through this perspective. It shakes him to hear Hermione saying these things, it's amazing how he never stopped to really think about what he did that night. He saved her life. He barely knew her, but he always worried, he always kept an eye on her… he felt they had something kindred between them. He can't quite explain, but his life at Hogwarts really started after Hermione became a part of his duo with Ron. After they became The Trio. "The girl knew that she wouldn't find better friends after that day. She knew she had finally found her place in this story." Harry sees her gulping and her eyes welling up a bit. He takes her hand and kisses it. "And they became a trio. They became best friends."
Rachel yawns. Harry looks at her. It's probably bed time already.
"Okay, enough for today." He says. "Maybe mama can continue the story another day?" He raises an eyebrow to her and Hermione nods.
"Of course." Rachel is already closing her eyes and they share a moment. "You saved my life that day, Harry." She whispers. He shakes his head.
"You would have done the same for me." And the moment he says it he knows it's true.
"I would."
He inhales deeply. In moments like these it's hard to wrap his mind around everything he already shared with Hermione. She's the only one who always stood by his side. She shared his burden from the very first day to the last moment.
"I love you. So much, Hermione." He chokes a little and she leans to him, her lips finding his.
"I love you, Harry." She kisses his cheek before getting up, he can see her brushing away a few tears. "Want me to tuck her in?" She smiles and he nods. Then, with a grunt and some effort, she takes Rachel and he stays there in the dark. Alone but not lonely, not even close.
He doesn't move until Hermione comes back to the living room. He opens his arms to her and she leans into him. He kisses her head, his arms tight around her. "You're getting better at the whole telling stories thing." He says.
She chuckles. "I just know this one really well." She moves in his arms, her mouth finding his.
They share a long and slow kiss. When they separate, Hermione takes his face and kisses his scar. Harry closes his eyes, his tears threatening to fall, his heart squeezing inside his chest. He wonders if she has any idea how much this simple gesture means to him. She kisses his nose and his cheeks, then his neck and he threads his fingers into her soft hair. He can't believe there even existed a time he couldn't touch her like this.
"Bed?" She asks and he agrees.
Getting up he brings her close by the waist, not wanting to waste another minute away.
"Which t-shirt today?" He asks and smiles at her.
Yeah, he might be addicted.