Rapture - The Slow Fall

by Uros Osium

With the truth of Extermination brought to bear the youngest Seraphim makes a choice; if her sister thinks Sinners and the overpopulation in Hell is a danger, then let's solve it. She concocts a plan in record time through desperation and hope. But said plan is mostly good intentions and a wish. And we all know where good intentions lead...

7. Chapter V (I)

Chapter V - Part I

Okay, so this one was originally going to be much shorter and a single part chapter. Wonder what it isn't? Yeah, short. In fact it is just simply around eight or so times bigger than I originally envisioned it to be because the lore I wanted to present here just kept expanding.

Fuck.

It is clear: Unless I force myself (Like in Ouroboros - Day by Day) I can't do short for shit.

Understandable however. This chapter was meant to hint and mark many future events, so while I wanted it to be around 10 pages (TOTAL! Part I was meant to be 3 or 4, now it is around 30) or so originally, that… clearly took a turn.

Of course, that was the big thing behind it all. In a more immediate plan this had Charlie's section (All of Part I) and the others (Part II) setting things for Chapter VI and VII. Chapter VI is meant to be boring, as it would show Jack's few friends (and fellow nerds) that he has in person, so they'd meet Emily and offer their help in setting everything up (This is not a spoiler as it will be discussed in Part II). While Chapter VII would be the first (not so grand) reveal of the afterlife to Jack's relatively small audience.

You have to start somewhere. Besides: It is the internet. Shit will explode very fast.

Of course, this note is here for more than just telling you I went overboard, as I usually do.

See, Chapter V is probably not going to be everyone's cup of tea. This 'not so pleasant' bit is also why this is so huge. I had this planned from the start, but I thought I could make it bite size.

Surprise! I failed.

It has to do with a question I was asked previously (If I would make Charlie and Vaggie make up quickly. Relatively short answer? Yes, but 'quick' may take a few Chapters), but also with God, Creation and… well. You'll see. This is in general important for the future in many ways, though hopefully no one here will catch on to everything it is hinting at. I sure as fuck hope ya guys don't so some surprises remain in the backburner.

Of course, if the chapter displeases you considering some of the connotations for the future, that is understandable. I'd prefer not to lose anyone for this, but hey; I will not try and force you guys to stay if you cannot stand what I bring. I hope this makes the story a bit different or more interesting and my muse told me to do this shit. I will not try to please everyone and if I feel the story goes well enough the way said muse tries to steer me forward, then it will happen.

In any case, this note has been long enough, and Chapter V already grew far too fucking big for my liking, but them's the breaks. So, let's get crackin'.

*** Hell. Hazbin Hotel ***

There were many things Charlie could say when it came to being with Vaggie. The Princess of Hell could easily tell you that she loved her girlfriend's spunk, her desire to defend, her loyalty and belief in Charlie's dream, even if Vaggie clearly had little hope for it working out, something Charlie did not understand for the longest time. I mean, Vaggie had admitted that her doubt came mostly from Sinners' ease of access to all they could want, or their complete loss of hope, so Charlie could see her point of view.

It made much more sense after their visit to Heaven.

It also made things difficult.

Because now, in their room, Charlie couldn't help but look away from Vaggie as they sat on their bed. Only this time there were no hugs, no kisses and, despite it being late enough to warrant some rest, both of them were still dressed for work instead of sleep.

Charlie could barely look her way. Vaggie's slim figure was curved now, slouched with a frown on her face. That gray skin of hers? Charlie could swear it was pale now, trying to go white, clearly nervous and fearful. It was easy to see, at least the part of Vaggie having her nerves stressed; Charlie could see a few tufts of her grayish, white hair being missing, even a few of the faded purple tips had been torn, or more likely just yanked, from her head. Heck, the bangs covering her left side were out of the picture, and while Vaggie would regenerate quickly, it told Charlie just how hard it hit her lover. More so when the hairbow was nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps Vaggie had thrown it away at some point? Charlie didn't know. Maybe it was just stored somewhere in their room. Vaggie had been here most of the time Charlie had been missing anyway.

It was not easy to tell when a demon had been crying their eyes out, not like a human that is. There were signs, sure, but not that many. And now that she had a look? If you count a second long stare before Vaggie looked away anyway. An angel's eyes were the same. Even if Vaggie had both of them still there, Charlie was sure that it would've been her face; hurt and with a small golden hue tinting it, the one thing to tell her anything that had been going on.

Though it did hurt. In three years Vaggie had done her best to hide any and all blushes, even during intimacy. She had never bleed in Charlie's presence, and Charlie was also damn sure there had been no fight in which Vaggie had been seriously hurt to the point of showing that golden blood or fluids that her own dad had sometimes dropped around in his workshop when one of his 'distractions' messed him up. Even the X on her eye, with or without the eyepatch, should've been a warning flag.

Because Vaggie did not have that X when Charlie found her. And even if an angelic weapon was the cause, a Death Mark does not appear AFTER death.

The Princess would admit: Vaggie had obviously suffered the whole day with Charlie away. For the… angel, it had been a mess on so many levels. It probably didn't help that Charlie didn't come back to confide with her, to bring her along, or try to talk about the obvious elephant in the room. That alone was probably why Vaggie had been waiting here.

But Charlie's return to the hotel had been no less… rough, even before she came back to her room to see Vaggie indeed waiting. There had been few words, few explanations and fewer desires to stay with her friends anyways. She had wanted to talk, but Charlie didn't think any of the others deserved the mess she was going to bring into the table, nor did she feel herself capable of having a civilized conversation at the moment. Different persons had different reasons to be a bad pick in Charlie's mind, and she hated to think negatively of any of them in any way, but she was not in a good headspace right now.

Angel? Charlie knew he wasn't as detached and nonchalant about shit as he liked to portray himself, that is why she always hoped he'd get better faster than he was. Even then, Angel Dust had come a long way! But he was still very crash and used jokes to go through a lot of bad emotional baggage if he could afford to. He wasn't really the best at supporting others because he could hardly support himself. Charlie had thought of him as her first pick, but Angel's behavior made her reconsider.

Husk was a better choice to be honest. He was also so brutally honest and blunt that she could give her a brain hemorrhage the moment he told her exactly what she needed to know and hear, not what she wanted to. And right now? Right now Charlie didn't know if what she needed and what she wanted could survive a reality check. Being told the honest truth was, she felt, as bad as trying to escape it.

Charlie was just downright fucked.

So she thought about Pentious. Then discarded the idea. Pentious was surprisingly nice, but sought validation like a starving man seeks food. He was highly competent when motivated and focused, but also incredibly awkward and capable of second guessing even the most assured victory within his grasp, be it in a verbal match, a physical challenge or an intellectual fight. Interpersonal matters were also not his forthe either, so Charlie decided to spare the snake's feelings and her own mind.

Nifty… was out. Just out. The little cyclops was borderline insane, if generally harmless and fun to be around. That… didn't exactly help, though. And considering Nifty was gaga for boys and only boys, and hardly cared for the idea of two girls together (though she did seem to enjoy that 'yaoi' thing), Charlie didn't expect for Nifty to help her out on this. Not because Nifty didn't care, but because she wasn't exactly equipped for this problem.

Alastor, of course, was, much like her father, out. Neither option was viable in her eyes and Alastor had made it easier by disappearing shortly after a quick explanation was given to the group. And Lucifer? Lucifer was busy with the portal right now, but he'd be back soon.

Too soon. Charlie had been back in Hell for less than an hour and most of it had been spent in this room, with Vaggie at her side. Both of them looking like miserable fucks. Charlie hated putting it that way, but it was fitting.

Fine. So perhaps this was one of the times she needed to be brutal and direct. She'd beg for an intervention, but perhaps it was better if that didn't happen.

Because, for once, Charlie thought her anger was justified.

"Why did you keep that, of all things, a secret, Vaggie?"

That her voice came out cold as ice didn't help much. Then again, Charlie hadn't had many partners, and the last one sure as fuck had hurt her more than she ever expected him to. That Vaggie stabbed her heart like this brought bad memories to the surface.

Vaggie flinched, still unable to look at her. "Charlie…"

"I told you *EVERYTHING*." Charlie wasn't much better, and that was probably for the best. She knew her eyes had changed the moment her anger began to surface. "From the stupidest, silliest, more minute thing, to the biggest secrets I ever had! You stayed with me through my lowest when everything and everyone was turning their back on me, Vaggie! I told you ALL you wanted to know. I spared myself none. But you? You told me nothing. And you know what? I accepted it. But no more."

But that reticence didn't last the moment her anger boiled. Charlie turned to Vaggie. The tips of her horns were showing, her fangs had sharpened and her eyes weren't going to revert back anytime soon. She did not want to be this angry. She did not want to raise her voice. But what she wanted and what she felt she needed weren't the same thing indeed.

And the more primal side of Charlie wanted to let the anger out.

"Three fucking YEARS, Vaggie." Charlie began to cry. Whether from anger or something else, she couldn't tell. "It may be NOTHING to some. Many would think I could care less because I am more than two fucking hundred years old. But. I. Do. CARE! That is time we spent together. Time I spent opening to you. Time I spent trusting you! Time I spent offering you ALL I could because at first, unlike the rest of Hell, you said you trusted *ME*. Then I did more, and more, and more, because we grew closer, because I thought you were there for me while I was there for you. I thought we were partners, Vaggie. And all of that time is time you spent lying! We shared our life for three fucking years and you told me SHIT, allowing me to believe what I wanted to believe because you were afraid!"

And by now Charlie wanted to hold back her whimpering, not that she could. Seeing that Vaggie was hiding her own sobs only made it worse. Not to the point Charlie would stop however. This had to be said because, if she swallowed that anger, then the resentment would only grow.

"I accepted it because I thought you were a Sinner. And you know what? I bet Winners have equally shitty stories. You didn't accept ADAM of all people to rename you 'Vaggie', throwing away the birth name of Vagatha in the process, for no damn reason!" That came out far more forceful than she thought it should've. Perhaps it was anger at Vaggie herself, or maybe at the fact that she shielded her past partly with the 'gift' Adam bestowed her. Charlie just ignored it and pushed on. "But I would've accepted that, of all things you could do in Heaven, you went for the Exorcists. I don't know why. You NEVER TOLD ME. But I would've accepted it, Vaggie. I would've accepted it BEFORE we were together and I would've accepted it AFTER. All I needed to understand, to forgive, was for you to FUCKING TELL ME!"

Charlie was sure the wards to keep every room soundproof had been fried with her outburst at some point.

She was equally sure she had gone far beyond overboard with this.

And to top it all off: Charlie knew this was not her usual persona. She tried her best, she DID her best, to be an affable 'young' woman. Charlie could not afford being angry. She knew she could be a damn monster if she so desired.

The idea… was revolting. But the anger? The rage? The feeling of letting go? It was intoxicating.

She hated it. She hated it and she loved it. It was the irrational, feral part of her that wanted Charlie to embrace it.

She wouldn't. Not today. Hopefully not ever.

"Why?" Charlie… She'd love to say she calmed down, but that would be a lie. She just managed to hide her more demonic features with a strong pull of her will. What was left of her self control was used to offer soft, whimpering words, her face covered in tears by now. "Why did you lie to me for so long, Vaggie? Why didn't you trust me? Why did I have to learn of this the day all our efforts almost turned to dust?"

Would you be surprised to hear nothing but sobs in this situation? Charlie sure wasn't. A dark part of her mind told her not to trust Vaggie to come clear, but her hope had asked her to give her a chance.

Then again Vaggie looked like she was having trouble breathing as it was. True Winners and Sinners do not really need to breathe, but emotional responses like these bring back a semblance of life even to those that no longer even try to mimic being alive anymore. That knowledge of course was brutally ignored by Charlie in her current state of mind.

In a way Charlie knew that, had she had the time to talk with someone, perhaps get some outside help, things wouldn't have boiled down to this. Heck, she even had good news considering the Extermination wasn't about to hit her people! But the rollercoaster of emotions, the chewing Blitzo threw her way, and the fact that even Sarah had told her that, yes, Sinners either didn't trust her or had such negative levels of respect that they wouldn't give her hotel a chance.

The lack of respect Charlie could live with. She had grown used to that and a lot worse shit. The lack of trust? Now, that? That hurt. It hurt enough to make her mood worsen the moment she had a second to process it.

Charlie hated to admit it, but Vaggie was an outlet. In a way she welcomed it though; the pair rarely, if ever, fought. A lot of crap went unsaid and they tried to cover it with niceties and happiness that Charlie knew was there. But happiness sours quickly if you don't work on your problems, and the two women had put all of those aside trying to make the hotel work.

What a shitty way to try and work on a relationship's kinks, eh? Charlie just hoped she hadn't fucked everything up. As much as this was on Vaggie, Charlie was aware she shouldn't have torn her girlfriend a new one.

Even if Charlie firmly believed she deserved it. This lack of trust told far too much to the Princess of Hell.

"I was a prostitute, you know?" That wasn't the start Charlie expected. In fact she didn't expect anything at all. Perhaps just silence. Vaggie seemed to have other plans however, even if her voice was shaky and clearly hurt. "That is how I earned a living. I hated it. And because I hated it, because I lashed out, I died."

Charlie felt her mouth dry. This wasn't what she meant. Had she gone too far in pushing? "Vaggie I-..."

"No, no. You are right. I was being selfish. I… I want to share." And Vaggie did, Charlie could see it. It hurt, but clearly the alternative would be much worse. "But you are right: Not all Winners have good stories to tell. I sure as fuck didn't."

Charlie pulled up her legs and turned, sitting in a position where she hugged her legs and rested her chin on her knees. It was not the best position, but despite her reaction before, and a desire to just hug Vaggie, she did not want to give in. Charlie knew it was cruel of her, but a little bit of pressure, just a little bit… She wanted Vaggie to let it all out. More secrets would not help.

"I was born in El Salvador, that much I told you, and it is true. Most of… well, what little I told you, is true. I may have embellished a few things, but I did not lie to you." Vaggie attempted a look at her, but Charlie frowned. Lying by omission is still lying, and her expression conveyed that message without difficulty. "Fine, so I omitted details." Vaggie admitted with a tin lipped frown, trying her best to not let it worsen. "I was embarrassed and angry at so many things in my life. Being discarded from Heaven because I spared a child was not exactly something that made me feel better about myself."

"You know all those stories about horrible childhoods that were once seen as tragic, rare events, perfect to have in a protagonist' backgrounds? Well, we both know they are a lot more common right now." Vaggie chuckled a bit as she threw a half smirking look at Charlie. It didn't last, but clearly the thought had been at least slightly funny to her before she looks away again. "I didn't have that kind of problem, not at first. My Papa was a loyal, doting man, a police officer with a truly ironclad moral code. My mother was a doctor, and much like my dad, she saved so many lives and was so respected in our community. We had enough money, food and a good home… I could even visit the U.S a few times, which is why I don't exactly have a strong accent most of the time. We were happy, and things were going so well that I could safely say that I hadn't wanted for much… at first."

"At first?" Charlie cannot help but ask.

"Yes." Vaggie manages to look towards Charlie again, and this time she doesn't look away. "Do you know the bad rep the U.S police has?"

Charlie thinks for a second. She has heard a lot of things from her residents and other demons, even her dad, on rare occasions, so she ends up nodding.

"I doubt it is as bad as they say." Charlie began, but the moment she thought back to today's events, and the tidbit back in Imp City's school, she rethinks those words. Using a damn MISSILE to destroy a civilian house? "Then again…"

"Oh yeah, they have assholes, and those that abuse their power. There are always a bunch of pendejos here and there." Though Charlie can see Vaggie wishing to go on a tirade. She stops however. There are more important things to do and say. "But in Central America? In almost every part is riddled with corruption in one form or another. Some less, some more. El Salvador? Fuck, Charlie, you don't want to know…" Vaggie let out a sigh and a hiss so intertwined Charlie didn't know when one began and the other ended. "I heard things have become better, but back then? My dad was one of the few incorruptible cops. Problem is, most of those died very, very fast. And they didn't do it alone."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Did your family-?"

"No! No. My Papa is still alive… I think." And Vaggie had looked almost frantic at the thought. "My mother didn't die either, not then. What happened was… he did good." This memory was clearly painful, Vaggie almost stopped but she willed herself to keep on going. "Look, my dad got to save a lot of people during his last operation. That was good, great even. But the people he caught? And the three he had to kill? That made many people look his way with more than just a frown. In fact two of the largest gangs decided to hit my father and a few of his colleagues, good cops that were doing their best. Of the eight of them two died, three got wounded and were 'encouraged' to stop or they, and their families, would get it. The remaining three, my Papa included, managed to escape. Thus came a choice."

Charlie grimace. "From what you are telling me it sounds like it was either stay and fight, and likely die. Stay and quit, or go corrupt. Or…"

Vaggie nodded. "He chose the third option, which admittedly was the best one, I think. I am pretty sure those that survived ended up wishing for the alternative, not that what I heard was more than a rumor. But back then I got so angry at him. I hated him for years because… in the end that is what killed my Mama."

Charlie allowed Vaggie a second. It was clear she was trying to find a way that this wouldn't hurt when she told it. In the end she did as you should with these things: Rip a bandaid in one go.

"My father left." Vaggie said with an even voice. An even voice that quivered for a second. "Those two gangs I mentioned? They were offshoots of another. A 'small' gang, technically. It was controlled by the biggest bitch I have ever seen, nicknamed 'Miseria', Misery. Worse than Killjoy and many Overlords in Hell, if only because those assholes weren't as bad as they are now when they were alive. That bitch?" Vaggie shuddered. "That cunt was infamous for not only cannibalism, because aparently it is not scary enough that you dip your enemies' feet on acid to make sure they suffer but don't die, that you condone rape, physical torture and whatever else you can get away with. And mind you, she got away with a lot of shit. No; the bitch always had a small number of children under her service."

Charlie gagged. "Children? What did she-?!"

"You don't want to know. Just imagine the worst you can and it will probably be true and then some." Vaggie didn't look any better. Her color had returned, but for a second she looked green. "Many of these things were rumors of course. For all I know there are exaggerations. But what was true is this: That woman was not stupid. Her own group was very, very small. But it was small because she trained loyal people by… means I prefer not to discuss, then made sure the most competent lead new gangs with her as the brains of the operation. All of this was never proven of course, that bitch had far too much money and was too damn smart to get caught. Everyone knew she was a monster, but she had a lot of men, firepower and money. Who would try to do anything?"

"But that bitch had a massive flaw: She loved to be in control, to leave nothing to chance. To make a fool of her meant she'd focus ALL she had on you. It was a massive weakness that NO ONE had the balls to exploit." And this made Vaggie grimace. "You know why? Because the last sorry asshole that played her for a month, just a month, was tortured for an equal amount of time, then killed on the dot, before the video of the bloody process was posted on the internet in specific sites for the Salvadorans to find." The clear memory of the video was with Vaggie, Charlie could see it. It probably didn't help that the angel had seen it very early in her life. "That piece of shit had a thing with not letting ANYONE escape. A lot of people joked that she'd pursue you to the end of the Earth if she could. And you know what? That was what my father was banking on. I am not surprised it succeeded." Vaggine grimaced and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "He likely didn't expect the aftermath, though."

"Did…" Charlie wondered if asking would be wise. Her fire was still there, but learning all of this was mellowing her out, for now at least. So long as Vaggie did as she promised and indeed shared, she wouldn't mind. But she couldn't contain herself. "Did the gangs come for you?"

"No." Vaggie shook her head. "They began to do their own thing. Less focused than before, but more destructive. It is what caught us in the crossfire, or at least my mother. Not physically, mind. Just…" Charlie saw Vaggie's will deflate a bit. Not enough to stop her tale, but it was very obvious this was probably a turning point. "I was already almost an adult then, you know? Still a teen, true, but not for much longer. I already had a lot of problems because, you know, I was mostly attracted to women."

Charlie arched an eyebrow. "Mostly?"

"Okay, so I like pretty boys. And I do mean 'pretty' boys. Those that looked and borderline sounded like girls." Vaggie deadpanned. "And I mean 'like'. Not as in 'sexual attraction'. I had a lot of bad experiences with boys already back then (never sexual, at least yet) and it was going to get worse soon. So yes, I say 'mostly' just to cover my bases. You wanted sincerity? You got it." Vaggie crossed her arms and huffed.

"Okay, okay! Just curious." Charlie couldn't help but offer a small smirk. At least this part was 'lighthearted'. "Considering how you try to get in the way of any men coming my way and what little trust you have for them…"

"I know I come out as a misandrist most of the time, Charlie. But I have learned to trust very few men." Vaggie responded to the clear accusation with a tired frown. Charlie was aware that Vaggie didn't hate all men, but… She was going to share the reason now anyway, Charlie could see it. "Not that I had a good start." And when Vaggie made a face Charlie could see where this was going. "Ignoring the assholes in school, young or old, because there is always at least one in every class, you had my Mama's boss."

"A piece of shit?" Charlie ventured.

"A sniveling coward, more like." Vaggie snorted. There was clear dislike, if not hate, there. "Though yeah, he was a piece of shit. Perhaps still is? Not the person to occupy my mind nowadays, otherwise I'd abuse that portal your dad is making to go back and kill the bastard if he is still around."

"Sheesh." Charlie grimace. Very few times did Vaggie use that tone, or make that angry, hateful face. You had to really piss her off. Even with the emotions from before still going strong Vaggie found time to offer pure hate and ignore everything else. "Seems you hate that guy."

"He fired my mother, Charlie. Not only that, but he was instrumental in getting us all but thrown onto the streets. The little shit had enough connections to basically make us look like lepers considering who wanted our hides." Vaggie growled under her breath. "One of the gang members, perhaps more, went and threatened the man because he was employing family members of one of the targets his boss had left the city to hunt. In a messed up fucking way I understand the power move: You must not appear weak." It clearly left a bad taste in Vaggie's mouth, because she looked ready to either throw up or throw something against the wall. "It is so fucked up to say, but I understand it, more so after three years in Hell. Does that mean shit on Earth for the reasons this was done? Fuck no. But I understand the mentality."

Charlie could do little but worse than the grimace she had beforehand. "How bad was it?"

"Mama was always incredible at healing people. She always worried about others more than she did herself" Vaggie smiled then. It was a short reprieve, a good memory, because it died quickly and not quietly when a snarl came to her. "But she was incompetent when it came to taking care of herself. Why do you think I hover over you like a helicopter mom, Charlie? You aren't as bad as Mama was, but you come close."

"That is only making me think your mother didn't exactly… do… well… not after this mess began." A stupid thing to say, sure, but Charlie found herself speaking her mind faster than she could think if it was a good idea. Vaggie's frown told her more than enough. "Sorry."

"It is not your fault, and you aren't wrong." Vaggie sighed. She looked and sounded so defeated. "Mama always depended on me and Papa to keep her going. It was like that when my grandparents were around. Sadly, they passed away years before this mess started and my father's own family didn't like him. From what I know they were also part of some illicit business and saw Papa as a traitor." Which seemingly told Vaggie all she needed and wanted to know, because she obviously did not want anything to do with them. "Point is: Mom was not only devastated, but we soon found ourselves robbed of everything we tried to salvage, minus a few things. This brought panic, then desperation, then an attempt to keep ourselves safe and…" Vaggie bit her lower lip for a second. She had been about to say something she didn't want to. Perhaps something she wished to share, but it wasn't going to come out. This much Charlie would allow. It was clearly painful. "Just… That first year after the day everything went to shit was hard, Charlie. I found myself alone hours before the new year rolled over."

Elbows on her legs, Vaggie hid her face behind her hands. It didn't bring her to tears, much less sobs, but clearly the memory was upsetting. How could it not? Charlie thought for a moment about asking her to stop, but she didn't. It would be far more insulting to tell her it would be fine if she wanted to stop now considering Charlie almost demanded Vaggie to tell her story.

It hurt though. It always hurt when Charlie lost her temper, warranted or not.

But perhaps it would help them both, even if it was likely to create a new wound for the time being.

"I managed to get away from El Salvador. I didn't want to, I didn't think I could even, but I had to." Vaggie rubbed her eyes for a second. Charlie saw no tears, but it was likely that Vaggie barely managed to keep them away. "All I could do for Mama was to find a friend of the family and ask him to… take care of her remains. I couldn't stay and endanger anyone else. As for me? I ran away. I ran as fast as I could. I did what I had to. I promised Mama I would try my best to survive, but…" Vaggie sucked air through her teeth as she trembled. It was not an uncontrollable shiver, more just a clear disgust at the memory and the feeling of helplessness it brought. "I had to make stops, I had to find supplies, I had to try and get myself together. But on one of those stops I found I couldn't anymore."

"Why?" Charlie had to wonder what could've stopped Vaggie. She was a very strong willed woman, never afraid to fight. Then again… "Wait. How old were you then?"

"Barely an adult, let's leave it at that." Vaggie wasn't going to say more, that was clear. But she would explain. "And why? Because I ran out of everything. No money to get by, no will to keep on running and the shock of everything finally caught up with me. It took nearly a year after Mama died, partly because I was afraid I would be caught by one of the gangs, partly because I hoped to find Papa, partly because I couldn't believe things had gone to shit like they had." But clearly, while time heals all wounds, it may also make some of them come to life as realization strikes. "One day I just… lost hope. I found myself in a hole I didn't know how to escape from. The only solution I thought of? Money. I needed to stop running and make something, DO something." Her face morphed into a grimace. "Three weeks with barely any water and even less food made me realize that I was completely fucked when it came to finding a job, though."

"And… that is when you started-?"

"That is when someone found me and thought I looked fuckable enough, yes."

Charlie's look of disgust said enough. Considering that Vaggie had likely been worse off than most homeless at that point (at least the ones that weren't addicted to something anyway), she didn't want to know how that ever came to pass.

I mean, fuck. Charlie didn't want to, but she imagined Vaggie shuddering with nervousness or fear, dirty, hungry and thirsty, probably malnourished even. Who sees that and says 'Hey, wanna bang for a few bucks?'-

…

Shit, her mind was starting to wander now and-.

Luckily, for Charlie anyway, Vaggie skipped that part and brought Charlie's mind back to the conversation. "Long story short? I grew a bigger dislike for men, fast. But I also began to earn money. A lot of money. For some damn reason I was popular." Vaggie was nonchalant, but clearly this disturbed her a great deal. It was better than what came before, Charlie could see, but Vaggie was obviously not fine. "But being popular is dangerous on the streets. I had to find a 'boss' to keep me safe, I had to walk the streets and I had to 'work' everyday. I was lucky enough to not need any drugs or any of the other crap some of the girls used, at least nothing hard. By then I was… I wasn't like I am today, but two years after my life got destroyed and I had grown a bit, eh, 'resilient', I suppose." She shook her head. Even Vaggie clearly didn't buy it. "Sadly that also meant I had developed my mean streak. And back then? Back then, I am ashamed to say, I DID become a misandrist. I hated every man I had to touch or talk with. I got into fights with far too many people and it was MY money the one used to cover every tantrum I threw."

"It is a tantrum if you do a job you despise?" Charlie asked with a frown. "If you have to be with someone you don't want to?"

"Charlie. I was a whore." Vaggie deadpanned. "Angel is one too. We sleep with people we don't want anything with because it PAYS. I never got to do it with girls, like he does with boys, nor did I ever find if I really like those feminine guys because all I got were disgusting men that most women would say are 'hunks'." Vaggie made air quotes as she shivered in disgust. "The idea of a huge, hulking man was appealing to everyone else. Fuck, perhaps it would've been to me if I found their personality pleasing. I don't know! I never liked guys in general and perhaps, JUST PERHAPS, I hadn't found the right one, Charlie. I am willing to admit I have been full of shit for literal YEARS, both before and after I died. But if I ever could've been attracted to them? That opportunity plain *died* after the years I had to work as a slut to cover my expenses."

Vaggie made a face of hurt then. Charlie was about to ask what was wrong before she had her answer. "It brings me shame to say that I had a lot of repeat customers. Not because I am ashamed of what I had to do. I don't like it, but I did it. There is no shame there. No, what I am ashamed of is how I treated many of those that came for me time and time again. I may not have liked them, physically, but…" She rubbed her temple with a hand. This was clearly taking a toll on her. "Is it weird to say they were nice? I hear a lot of stories of prostitutes having shitty 'customers', but most of those I had were pretty decent, weird as it may be to say. But me? I was a bitch. Granted I had the shittiest experiences and reason to be doing what I was doing, but none of those men deserved how much of a cunt I was." Her face deepened into a scowl. "My last client sure as fuck didn't deserve a bottle to the face."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Did… did you kill him?"

"No. Neither did he kill me. My pimp did. Hijo de puta… Not like I didn't give him reasons to." Vaggie waited a second before she took a deep breath. "Look, Charlie. You know I smoke from time to time, or that I drink a bit. Not an addiction per se, not now, not when I was alive. But sometimes… I need, now and back then, to take the edge off." She pinched the bridge of her nose with a grunt. This memory WAS shameful, that much was obvious to Charlie. " And yes. Back then? I did much the same, though it was a lot less smoking and far more drinking. That day I was plastered. I had seven NEW clients I did NOT want to see ever again, and that seven was the lucky number." Vaggie chuckled, more to herself than anything else. "I was tired, I was raw, I was angry and I hadn't had an orgasm in TWO WEEKS while my clients had as many as their money could buy, and I had barely slept the past three. So I drank… and I snapped."

"It wasn't the first time either." Vaggie went on after a moment to recollect herself. It probably didn't help that she saw how Charlie was clearly distraught by now. "But it was the most brutal. I am pretty sure the man came out fine, probably with scars, but fine. Though at the time I didn't know it, or didn't care, really, but now I see that every attack was more vicious than the last. For all I know I would've ended up killing someone if I kept going like this. That is a possibility that sometimes eats at me. As luck would have it we will never know; that customer was loud enough and clearly looked fucked up to the point that my 'boss' decided he had had enough of my shit."

Vaggie rubbed not her eye, or her face, but her stomach. A grimace of pain and clear suffering was there for Charlie to read.

Come to think o f it, Vaggie had been iffy when it came to that area. Not usually, no, much less with her. But the few times they went around and anyone approached her? Vaggie, at least back when Charlie found her, for a few months, either took an aggressive posture or crossed her arms over that particular zone.

Was there any particular point Charlie could make about the different encounters? Just the size of the men, so that did hint at Vaggie's pimp being a huge, muscle bound man. Anyone smaller and closer to the 'average' human look, or 'lesser' in Vaggie's eyes, was usually just met with scorn and confidence on her part.

That protectiveness had died and barely showed itself again after that initial period, but this little relapse told Charlie a lot.

"I am sure that he didn't intend to actually kill me. That probably got him in a lot of shit. All he did was punch me once, in the gut, but… Shit, I suppose it was a mixture of my drinking getting worse, slowly stopping having almost any water, or healthy food, and the lack o f sleep becoming more and more common, to the point I was probably growing some kind of insomnia or something. I wasn't hurting for money, but I used much of it for comfort food and whatever calmed me, though nothing helped me rest or sleep." Vaggie huffed. She was looking back, Charlie could see it. "I wonder how I hadn't keeled over earlier. As to how that killed me? My best guess is that my insides were weak enough to get fucking scrambled from a single damn punch. Besides, my pimp was a gorilla of a man, and I am not exactly an amazon."

That last part was true. Vaggie was nimble and brutal, but not strong, much less sturdy. In fact most Exterminators were like that, if Charlie's memory was on point: Thin, extremely agile and brutal with their weapons.

But make this a fight between an average man and these women, after making them mortal again, and Charlie knew who'd die first.

Heck, Charlie was sure that Angel Dust would probably take three to five times the abuse Vaggie would if they both were Sinners, and Angel was, for all the fluff that covered his spider like body, a very thin and girly man without almost a single ounce of muscle. Physically speaking, if we take their forms as humans, Exterminators were nothing special; they were just psychos nigh invulnerable to pain and damage.

Which brought the question.

"Is that why, when you got to Heaven, you joined the Exorcists?" Charlie asked. Her previous trepidation died as she hardened her expression and brought back the defenses. "You were angry at all that happened to you?"

Vaggie didn't look her way this time. "Would it make me any less in your eyes if I said yes? Not that I am in a good position now, I know."

"I am just happy that you are sharing this, Vaggie." Charlie admitted, though it did not please her to hear that, yes, the motivation behind her actions was just anger. Not unwarranted anger, mind, but just anger nonetheless. "But I think it is important that you share. How did it happen?"

"A multitude of reasons, to be honest." Vaggie shuffled in place for a second before she decided to explain further. "I arrived at Heaven and thought all would be fine, for a moment. I didn't meet Emily, in fact I know many Exorcists that do not get to meet with her when they arrive." This brought another pause as Vaggie made a face of deep thought. "I… don't think any of them except those like Lute, those having a more public life, ever meet with her at all."

Charlie frowned. "But Emily seemed adamant on meeting with any new soul if she could. She is brimming with too much energy to stay put."

"Of course she did, and yes, she is. I didn't meet her when I arrived, but I learned of her quickly." Vaggie did have a small smirk as she said this. "She is a very personable girl, if with a problem with boundaries." Then she frowned as she thought back to how close Emily got to Charlie. "But despite how few souls make it to Heaven, there are a lot of new Winners making it to Heaven, Charlie. Emily may want to help anyone she can, but she is just one woman."

"Perhaps." Charlie conceded, but her frown didn't leave her face. "But you have to admit it is more than just a little bit suspect that barely any of those playing a part on the Extermination get to meet her."

"Oh, it is more than just a little fucking suspect." Vaggie agreed with a firm nod. "I was quickly told I had very strong blood, you know? It led me to meet with Adam just days after dying. The meeting wasn't exactly nice, but that was quickly sidelined by the offer: Join him as one of his closest descendants and partake in the cleansing of the worst of humanity, those damned to Hell, and protect Heaven." An apologetic look was sent Charlie's way, but the Princess only nodded at her to go on. "I could have done so much more than that, Charlie. I was given the option to say no. Quite a few women do. But most? Most of those that make it to Heaven and get offered this chance, this power, take it."

That made Charlie's frown deepen. "Why would anyone want to do that? I know some religious zealots would. I mean, dad has a few followers on Earth that are damn nuts." And the thought of some of them made Charlie shudder. She was just not looking forward to them knowing her dad WAS real, or that SHE existed. That was going to be a shitshow. "Why have a chance at Heaven only to train your afterlife away so you can go and practice genocide?"

"Power, mostly. The rush of it." Vaggie didn't think a shrug would help, but that is what she did. It was the honest truth. "Women are led to believe we are powerless on Earth. In some countries? Yeah, totally. Hell, slavery still exists in a few countries and others have laws or religions that fuck us over. Fuck, you get stoned in a few if you get raped while married! But in many? We have more than men do. Not like I ever had the chance to achieve anything like Mama did."

Charlie grimaced. She couldn't fault Vaggie for that. "You had very bad luck, Vaggie."

"And I used that luck as an excuse." Vaggie appreciated the support, Charlie could see. But she wasn't going to allow that to detract from what she did. "I let my anger fester. I died young, I died young when I shouldn't have. I know I wasn't exactly miss perfect or anything. Hell, I don't know what I would've done with my life! School was shit, but I had a chance to choose. Well, HAD is right, because I didn't have the chance to discover what I would've loved to do simply because my Papa was too good a person and my mother a perfect sacrifice for an asshole to keep his ass safe."

As Vaggie nearly ripped at the sheets on the bed she made a pause. Charlie could see she was agitated, and Vaggie quickly made clear why. "I disliked Adam, a lot." Though that part was obvious. "He is a crass piece of shit, a misogynistic ass and an entitled asshole. Is he wrong for being so? To be honest, no."

"Vaggie!"

"Charlie." And while Charlie had a priceless expression on her face, Vaggie was very much serious. "He is a piece of shit. I will tell you here and now that what you have seen of him is far less than the near decade I shared with the asshole. But he is not wrong in how he acts. Should he tone it down? Sure, but again, as much of a dick as he is, he is not wrong." Charlie could see that saying such a thing was making Vaggie physically ill. "He is powerful, more than probably any other human soul. He was the first man, he was made to protect and lead, even if he is somewhat shit at it, and he was charged with being on top as the first creation of his type." That feeling of sickness got worse and worse the more Vaggie had to agree with someone that even Charlie doubted she could ever like, or befriend… Or just stand. "He should be a bit more humble, or a lot… Okay, more than a lot. But, much as I hate it, the guy got thrown into a situation he didn't have any control over and was basically told to 'Shut up and enjoy being the father of humanity!', more or less. He was led to believe he was the hottest shit ever, and no one has told him he is wrong. So why should he behave any differently? Even I disliked his ass and I decided to shut the fuck up, so I am in no position to complain. Mind you, I will call him a dick if I get the chance."

Huh. Charlie hadn't thought about that. When you sit down and think about it, something like that would probably give you a massive ego over the ages. You were made as the FIRST of something and basically handed a crown and special properties no other human would ever have, not even your partner if Charlie was right. After all, even her mother, incredibly powerful as she was, would've been lesser than Adam if she ever went to Heaven.

… The idea that Lilith would've been weaker than Adam if she had been an angel made Charlie frown. Would that be the truth indeed, or was she wrong? In a way Charlie was convinced that her mother became who she is today, power and all, because she fell, because she chose freedom over paradise.

It was a sobering thought.

On that same page. How powerful would Adam be if he had taken his own decisions? If he had gone through the same Lilith had, Adam could be far more than he was. If he had changed…

But…

Had her mother changed from the moment she was created, really? Or did she only get more to play with after being freed from angelic control? Charlie didn't know where that question came from, but it made her frown. The moment she began to question that particular invasive tendril within her mind Vaggie found her voice once more.

"I despise the man, that is true." Vaggie found no shame in admitting it, and Charlie, thankful for the return to the topic at hand, couldn't really find fault on Vaggie's distaste. "But he gave me all I thought I wanted, so long as I complied. That is on ME, however." That part, though, clearly bothered Vaggie. "It wasn't like most dealmakers in Hell. There were no strings attached beyond the obvious. There was no fine print, simply because they did not need it. Much as Heaven has a lot of shit going on under the covers, most activities and agreements are clearly defined and you can ask for details without a fuss: I trained, I got ready and then I'd serve as part of the Extermination. That was my duty and it was meant to be my duty forever."

Charlie nodded a few times. This brought Emily's words to her mind. "So all angels, Winners or just heavenborn, can't change jobs?"

"Not really, at least from what I learned." Vaggie would admit she didn't know, not fully, if Charlie asked. Not like the Princess needed anyway. With Emily's own admissions it was not an assumption, but a fact. "Heaven is a 'reward', after all. You do what you love the most and, somehow, you never get bored of it." Though Vaggie seemed to frown at the thought. "Can you imagine what that means, Charlie?"

"Not getting bored with what you do, ever?" Charlie couldn't help but inject some humor there. "You mean like singing and-?"

"I mean to the point I never tried to search for my Mama, Charlie." Vaggie killed the humor right away with a glare.

That admission made Charlie blink. "Wait… never?"

"Almost a decade, Charlie." Vaggie sounded not only regretful, but hurt. She hurt herself and, clearly, Charlie could see that she didn't even notice. "I don't know if it was my anger or Heaven's influence. The place is… not like Hell, no, but it makes you enjoy yourself in more subtle ways. In my case? I entered service as an angel of vengeance. I wasn't exactly 'stable', mind wise anyway, by the time I died. Heaven, I am sure, helped me with that, but in a way it also made sure that I enjoyed my faults in a 'productive' way as it were." Vaggie hummed, then thought about it a moment longer. "I was offered help, but no real solutions. My anger was useful and my rage blinded me. I considered all men to be a blight to the world after I went to Heaven thanks to the suffering I went through. I am ashamed to say it but…" Shame was probably not even the right word. Vaggie looked like she outright hated herself as she thought of this. "I not only ignored the possibility that my mother wasn't in Heaven. She was more than pure enough to be. There was NO way she was in Hell. I couldn't believe it, and it wasn't until I left Heaven and its influence that I thought about it. No, as I said, I considered my father at fault and my mom perfect. Part of the reason I joined the Exterminators was to come down here and search for him."

"Then what?"

The question came through Charlie's lips, once more, before she could think about it.

Only this time there was less curiosity and more anger involved, again.

"What?"

Charlie ignored Vaggie's confusion. She was sure her girlfriend knew why she had asked. "If you found your father had landed in Hell, not Heaven, then what, Vaggie?" There was more disappointment than anger as the words slipped by. "Somehow I don't think it would've ended well for you, no matter what happened."

Vaggie couldn't fault Charlie's assumption. She was right after all. "Think? Charlie, I know for a fact that I would have regretted it." And she admitted without a problem. Shame? Sure. Hurt? Charlie saw that and then some. But Vaggie would not lie now. "The first year? I am afraid I would have either killed or at least severely hurt him. I was full of pent up rage that I used on my training and that-."

Vaggie bit her tongue there. This was the reason she had fought with herself not to allow anything in her past making it to Charlie's ears. But now? She had two choices: Say nothing and probably make this worse, or open up.

It was a no brainer, even if she knew this was going to suck.

"I killed hundreds of Sinners that first year, Charlie." Vaggie finally admitted to it. Charlie was hurt, she couldn't hide it even if she wanted to, but at least Vaggie finally spoke the truth. "I saw red when I arrived in Hell. I know not how you managed to be so positive here, Charlie. Everywhere I looked I saw people raping others, I saw abuse, coercion, enslaving souls at a blessed blade's edge or with a gun with blessed ammunition giving them two choices: To bend, one way or another, or die. So I, just like many new Exorcists, saw no reason to not give in to the distaste for anything 'demon'. Anything. And ALL we saw, from the condemned souls to the hellborne, even the ground, was just 'demon' in my mind and the mind of every new Exorcist inductee."

Charlie didn't have an expression, so to speak. She had gone neutral. In a way this was an automatic reaction when she couldn't just be all happy, after all she was naive, she knew, but not stupid. Hell had many people that deserved better. Hell also had monsters. The idea of anyone from outside, angel or not, saw it and found the idea of taking justice in their own hands was not foreign to her.

Sometimes Charlie had been on the cusp of giving in and seeing Sinners just like her father did. She was strong, true, but sometimes, just sometimes, the weight was too much.

And sometimes she found people she just wanted to get rid of, because even Charlie couldn't excuse or forgive what they did. She never did. She wanted to, but she kept telling herself that doing so would be admitting defeat in her beliefs.

"The first two years went like that." Vaggie's voice brought Charlie away from the pit she was digging for herself. Something Charlie was thankful of, because going deep into her regret and anger would make this even uglier. "But by the third? I began having… doubts…" Charlie nodded then, for Vaggie looked her way. It was as if she was begging for her approval to share something, or just an excuse. "I saw… Sinners trying to protect each other, to hide one another. I hadn't seen anything positive, in any way, the first two times. I… ignored those. Then I began to look around. I saw more and more people that were just that: People. I was so hyper focused on the bad that I couldn't see the people that just got screwed over by Heaven." She took a deep breath. "But that didn't stop me from doing what I had promised to do."

"You were still angry?" Charlie ventured, finally scooting closer to Vaggie. "Or was it something else?"

"Disgust." Vaggie admitted with a frown. "Hell was not the place of misery and torture I was told of, not in the way we are taught in the living world."

Charlie made a face. Had she ever been told? She couldn't remember. "How… is it told?"

"Various ways. You'll find conflicting tales. I mean, Heaven has been barely involved for a long while and what interventions they have are…" Vaggie tsked at the thought. "Self interested in many cases, for reasons I am not privy to." And it clearly bothered her, Charlie didn't need to have lived with her for three years to know. "Though the nitty gritty is this: If you land in Hell and you are tortured for all eternity as a punishment."

Charlie couldn't help but snort at the idea. "I know a lot of people suffer a lot at each other's hands. There are some real dicks out there after all."

"Worse than Adam."

"Worse than Adam, yes." Charlie conceded. And, to be honest, she wasn't lying. Though Adam could still very much go fuck himself. "But constant torture? Even those in the worst positions have chances to leave them at some point. It takes a lot of work, guile and, yeah, some suffering, but they have a chance! At least now. Dad did say that things were different, once."

"Which is more than Heaven offers, and that is why I was disgusted at Sinners CHOOSING to be dicks. That is why I want to believe in your work so much, Charlie." Vaggie's words struck Charlie as odd. Was she really saying that Hell offered more than Heaven? "Heaven is stagnant, Charlie. Up there you eat the finest foods, you do what you love everyday, you find no tests to your character, your lifestyle or any of your choices. It is 'perfect' in the sense that you NEVER have to do anything. You stayed the same, Charlie. The good AND the bad in you had NO reason to ever move. You did not get better, in fact you got worse. Stagnating only makes everything rot, even if most people in Heaven are indeed good people, and they ARE, they all get so self absorbed in their own enjoyment and perfect lives that they ignore all their faults and the crap going around them.

"But Hell is different." It was then that Charlie understood what Vaggie meant. "You saw people suffering. Perhaps not at first, but you saw them hurting. Not just the abuse and all the crap you'd expect. You see the average Sinner like I did after years watching them and my time here: People that were thrown in here and expected to pay for things that, in some cases, weren't even that bad."

"I nearly killed a man and hurt a lot more in rage and hate at my job, Charlie. I was a damn whore for years. Why did I get to go to Heaven? Because I am one of the lucky ones to still have some of Adam's blood in me." Vaggie frowned as she looked back. "Not all Exterminators ARE related to him, but most are. And they tend to be the worst. Most of us are just angry, sadistic and touched in the head. I am not going to say I am not, because you know I am not exactly an easy person to deal with, more so when it comes to the things I actually dislike."

The latina grumbled under her breath for a second. "And that anger got to me. Even when I saw I was likely not doing as much good as I thought, even when I saw that I likely had innocent blood in my hands, I didn't stop. I was so fucking ANGRY at everone down here, Charlie! So many people that should be doing GOOD, trying to improve their situation so this was LESS shit than Earth, not MORE. Instead every time we came down here I saw people that likely tried to do the bare minimum the moment a permanent end to their existence came knocking. And the few that did try to be good?" Vaggie let out a chuckle and a snort, a mix forged in derision and plain disgust. "How many of those have you seen lasting more than a year or two, Charlie?"

That question stung, but Charlie answered. "Few, if any."

"Zilch, Charlie. They die, or they change, and not for the better. I lost myself in books and records after I began working with you, not only so I could learn how to help, but to see if there was anything like this at any point." A pained grimace crossed her face. "Other than a few very derisive comments about your father, way, way back when and in old records, there was nothing."

"Dad tried." Charlie nodded, for that much she had been told. Vaggie had been there when he said so. It was clear now that he hadn't only meant his gift to humanity, but both had obviously backfired. "All hopes and dreams… shattered."

"I will not lie to you. Not anymore. My anger went from borderline selfish and insane to one of spite and powerlessness. I could have stopped early, but I didn't. I hurt so many people, Charlie." Vaggie was the one to move closer this time. She offered Charlie a hand, and Charlie accepted. It wasn't a sign of affection, not like before. Both knew the wound wasn't going to just be mended today. "It took me years to finally feel so sick of it that I began to ignore targets when I could. And when I had cornered that child? I knew, KNEW that said child probably was older than me. But I also knew that Sinners are locked in their forms; children are innately innocent and gentle, but also cruel and sadistic. They are immature minds, and their sense of fun is sometimes warped. A child in Hell? They would never grow beyond that, heck, it probably gets worse."

Charlie squeezed. Gently, yes. Tenderly, but she was trying not to give in now. Charlie needed to remain at least somewhat distant.

She did understand, though. "You did not want to hurt this child, did you?"

Vaggie was tight lipped for a moment. "I hadn't hunted children, ever, since I joined the Exorcists. Not even when I was still mad with rage."

Yet Charlie could see that Vaggie hadn't said she wouldn't have no matter what. Vaggie DID say she wouldn't lie, not that she wouldn't omit things, again. It disturbed Charlie that Vaggie, in a moment of mindless fury, could have indeed done so if the chance had presented itself.

"And after realizing all this had been just years of senseless slaughter and self pity? After spending days remembering faces of those I had killed in cold blood every time an Extermination was done? After all my rage and anger boiled down to simple resentment and disgust at how things were going? No, I wasn't going to start then." Vaggie let out a mirthless chuckle, a sad laugh that tugged at Charlie's heartstrings. "I went to Heaven, only to sink even lower than when I was alive, you know? I never really disliked children, but I always thought I'd have trouble with them, or hurt them, if I had to care for them. It was the same with other people. I had been heckled and bullied a lot, but I didn't want to hurt others… Then all that shit happened and it was Heaven, not Hell, that allowed me to inflict misery on others."

Charlie frowned. She dragged Vaggie closer so she'd look at her. "Vaggie. I don't want to be an ass, but you are trying to use Heaven as an excuse there."

That made Vaggie blink, then frown. "I never said…" There was shame there, Charlie saw it, but also anger, mostly at herself. "Yeah… You are right. I… It is just easy to pile all this mess on Heaven."

"It is. It is clear that Heaven is not what I pictured it to be." That admission hurt Charlie. She had always hoped, dreamed even, of her father's home to be this magical world. A perfect place, you know? To have that bubble pop was… "But you are not exactly wrong. Hell preys on the worst elements of all Sinners and demons, we know that. I just hadn't expected Heaven to reward some of the same things." Charlie let a frown spread across her face. "I would've expected Heaven to try and help you with all the trauma, all the suffering you went through. Why would a place, supposed to be paradise, prey on it?"

"Angels fear, just as humans do." Vaggie shrugged as she looked back to some of her memories. "I remember many of them talking about the billions of demons here, trillions perhaps. Heaven could very well be infinite, and I mean it in the literal sense, unlike Hell. I know your dad helps it 'grow' somehow, but Heaven could host all of Hell billions of times over. And you know what? Heaven has perhaps a few tens of millions of souls here and there, perhaps a hundred million or two very close together." Vaggie hummed as she tried to recall. "I think the total population, between angels and all, would probably be less than one percent of Hell. Probably zero point something. Even Earth has more humans than Heaven has angels and Winners combined."

"That few?" Charlie could hardly believe it. Heaven was very much a gated community. But how could it have so few residents after such a long time? "I cannot believe Heaven has been this stringent when it came to allowing people in, not until recently."

"Many souls grow bored in Heaven after a long time." Vaggie explained, another memory coming to mind. "A hundred years, two, three… I wasn't lying when I said stagnating is bad, horrible even. I knew of old souls, ancient ones, that I had a few talks with. But those are the rarity. They told me that most human souls grow tired of the never ending happy life at some point. They just 'go back'; they reincarnate or something. Whatever the case, I know that most of them don't make it back to Heaven."

"I see." And Charlie did. An angel, even a Winner, was much stronger than a demon, the same with humans. But pit a hundred random demons against an angel and things would change. Make each angel fight a thousand demons and… "Is that why they are afraid? The reason as to why they encourage people like you to join the Exorcist and act as an Exterminator during the new year?"

"And why the punishment for 'being a traitor' is as severe as what they did to me." Vaggie confirmed. That memory was clearly not good, but there were more things Vaggie was recalling. "Hurting or killing a mortal is also seen as grounds for banishment, at least temporarily, but I didn't pry much on that front since those events land you on Earth and not here. What I was told, time and time again, was that helping demons in any way would end up with…" Charlie saw Vaggie's free hand traveling to her back. She had seen Vaggie's scars, but much like her eye, there had been nothing unlike a Sinner would have there. "Your wings would be taken, so would your halo. And that is if the ones dispensing justice didn't have time to finish you off and drag your body back to Heaven for disposal."

Charlie made a face. "Disposal?"

"Exterminators may not give a shit about leaving weapons behind. We can summon many from the armory at any time." Vaggie displayed that fact by pulling her hand from her back and bringing her spear. "I suppose they cut my access after the fact, mostly because I only have a connection to the weapon I kept in Hell. But if someone with enough magic and ability to control corpses could find an angel body…"

"They could amass a small armory if they knew about that link. A 'zombie' Exterminator would likely just be more durable than a normal one after all, so the utility is not in having a lot of them, but the ability that corpse would have." Charlie nodded in morbid realization. But then… "Why let you live?"

"I don't know. Spite, probably. Lute always hated my guts. Or perhaps they thought any demon that found me would just do everything in their power to end me. Considering everyone thinks angels can't be killed, they expected a loooong torture and whatever else to be awaiting me." And clearly Vaggie didn't know any better at the time. She sent her spear back to its place before facing Charlie. "Besides, Lute didn't exactly like finding out that I allowed that child to escape. She left me a clear reminder." And that free hand of hers went to her missing eye. "It… actually hurt when she slashed my eye off. Tearing my wings off was 'painful' too, but not in that way."

Painful? Charlie had seen and heard Vaggie scream here and there when she was 'hurt'. But, again: She never saw blood, or any real injury.

"What do you mean by 'hurt' then?"

"Angels don't get hurt. Heaven's blessing, I suppose. I mean, they seem to 'feel' pain, but it is more like a programed response. I don't know how to explain it." Vaggie shrugged, that was a fact she had accepted very quickly, one she welcomed even. Less to think about if you just nodded and walked away. "But for those of us that are Winners, not born angels? We know what pain is. You'd see most heavenborn have 'delayed' reactions when hurt because, again, no feeling of pain. It is somewhat similar, but much faster, with Winners. When a Winner is 'hurt', we aren't really in pain. It is… It is more like we THINK we are in pain. Perhaps that is what I felt when I got wounded. Then again, there had been no training and no fight that had gotten me to suffer a permanent injury like the ones Lute inflicted on me. Perhaps it was another of Heaven's gifts."

Thinking back on that day, Vaggie shuddered. The pain wrecking her body… had it been real, or imagined? She still remembered the hurt on her back, on her whole body. Worse than the pain burning her eye, her face. It all got worse when the halo was taken from her.

Had the blessing been erased then? Perhaps Lucifer would know.

Charlie had similar thoughts, and she used them to ask another question. "If you were hurt in such ways, if me trying to help you heal was doing nothing. Then why not come clean?" It hurt her to think that Vaggie had gone to such lengths. An angel, a Winner, getting a permanent injury had to be probably worse than a Sinner. The power, and pain, that had to go through a body created by a soul from Heaven to make it stick should be… incredible. "You cannot tell me you did all of this so I didn't get angry, Vaggie. Okay, fine, perhaps at first. But after a few weeks, perhaps months? A year later we were together and you knew I would at least try to understand! My father would've tried to help you with your wounds, Vaggie! I know you rub at them from"

"Because I fucking hate myself, Charlie! I don't deserve to be HERE with you, or even near you!"

The yell came with a visceral reaction. Vaggie got up, janking her hand away from Charlie and breathing as if she was trying her best not to hyperventilate. Charlie noticed far too late that it wasn't fear of what SHE would do or say if she knew, but what Vaggie thought of herself after all she did.

And Vaggie clearly had the worst opinion of herself that one could possess, that was obvious.

"Husk was fucking right, Charlie. I *HATE* myself." Vaggie had taken a few steps away from her before she turned to face Charlie again. "I hate the weak piece of shit I became. I am aware it was a cascade effect, alright? I went from having a few cabrones bothering me every day in high school to being chased, probably almost murdered, and then used like a toy because I had nothing else to offer. It was a fucked up time, one that cost me my family, but none, not a single one, of those I have killed in service of Heaven, deserved me taking my ire on them."

Vaggie spoke calmly. But was she calm? Charlie knew even the most blind of onlookers would hear the distress in her voice, and those able to see would notice her shaking and the trembling of her lip. She was as far from fine as you could get. Perhaps she was reaching a point where Charlie would even need to intervene. She had never seen Vaggie do it, but self harm, or rash decisions, could be involved.

Charlie had wanted the truth, and she had wanted to let the anger out. But did she really want Vaggie to do something to herself, or stay away? No, of course not. But her worrying nature told Charlie that it was a real possibility now that everything had been forced to the surface.

Vaggie didn't let Charlie do anything. She wasn't done. "I hated myself for years, Charlie. I hated myself when I was alive, before all this mess, because I was different enough to be a target. I hated myself after that because I couldn't help my mother, and then because all I had of worth was my body. And after I died? First I hated myself because I had become a murderer, because I was still a weak little shit that was going along with it for the satisfaction and anger I felt, and because, for once in so many years, I had others that could watch my back." By now Vaggie was crying, and she was crying a lot. She had tried to be strong through the whole thing, minus a few hiccups, but Charlie was seeing every wall crumble as she shared the last bits hidden behind her defenses. "But then I hated myself for a whole new reason: I meet you."

She wished it would be surprising. But let's be real. Charlie, innocent as she can be through hope and her desire to be nice, welcoming and forgiving, was not stupid.

Charlie knew why.

"Because of the disgust you first felt." It wasn't a question because there was no need to ask. "When you saw Hell for the first time. When you saw so many people being their worst shelves because there was no punishment. Even when they had death hanging over their heads, they just hurt themselves and others."

"But you aren't like that. You have hope. You are trying. You, of all people, tried to help others, not hurt them." Vaggie sounded disgusted as she looked at herself. "And me? I was little better than a Sinner. I wallowed on my own filth and thought others were the problem, not me. And when I realized that I was wrong? I kept doing it. Yet you, Princess of Hell, stood for all I wished and hoped while I, a 'supposed angel', was a piece of shit that took a spear to end my problems instead of fighting to prevent others from going through the same crap I had to suffer."

Vaggie had recovered a bit, not by much, but a bit. That Charlie hadn't reacted badly, or almost at all, seemed to be the right call. Charlie preferred to play games and make things 'childish' to bring some innocence back into them. Even she would gladly admit it was silly if she was asked for sincerity. But sometimes silliness is all you need.

Silliness, a smile, a laugh. A bit of sincere fun. Those things were usually lost as one grew up. And in Hell? It was incredibly rare. To heal a hurt soul you need a bit of that. Charlie was convinced. That Sir Pentious and Angel had advanced so much was a testament to how friendship and some sincere, gentle fun could, if you were willing, help the process of healing.

Such a process was not to be used here.

Charlie would get nothing from Vaggie if she showed her the 'nice' side. Vaggie thought she didn't deserve anything other than punishment, and pushing her to believe otherwise would just worsen the situation.

Ironic.

Because that is what Charlie had wanted at first. And now? Now she just felt miserable for it, even if a tiny part of her thought this was deserved.

"I could have done so much more, Vaggie." Charlie didn't know how long she had been mulling those thoughts in her mind, but since Vaggie hadn't moved she assumed it had been a quick thing. Good. She wasn't going to let her hang. "I got told while I was out. And they weren't wrong. I should have gone for the literal dregs; people with no hope, people that REALLY needed me and that would've been glad for any help at all. It wouldn't have brought the spotlight to focus on us, no, but I could have started this sooner, I could have helped someone achieve redemption before all this mess started! But I didn't. I just wanted everything to be sunshine and rainbows!" Charlie frowned as she tried her best not to bring her hands to her face. She wasn't sure if she would just rub in exasperation or claw her own eyes out with how angry she was at her own stupidity and hope for this to be done in one single grandiose act. "And every time I tried to make it better I just made it worse!"

"But you tried, Charlie. You are STILL trying." Vaggie dried her tears away and finally approached Charlie again. "You are right. You went for the moon and it didn't work. Perhaps it was too much preparation, too much hoping for the best. But that doesn't mean you are wrong." Vaggie kneeled in front of the bed. She made an attempt to reach for Charlie, but the Princess knew the moment Vaggie first tried that the angel would not make contact. She didn't. The hand fell to Vaggie's knees midway. "It… also makes all of this worse."

Charlie felt a cold shiver run down her spine. "Why… would it make things worse?"

"Do you think you can forgive me for all these lies, Charlie?" Vaggie's question was firm. Her voice? Not so much. Charlie felt no fear in the words, not even resignation. Just shame.

"Of course I will." Charlie would've said otherwise IF, and only if, Vaggie had gone silent and tried to walk away from this conversation. Something the Princess of Hell was sure (or at least she hoped) Vaggie wouldn't do. That didn't mean the forgiveness was going to be instant. "Just… not right now. I am… I am more calm now. Better. But I am still angry."

And Charlie was angry indeed, mostly because she thought she deserved to be, because a little bit of anger would make it much easier for her to find something (hopefully something, not someone) for her to vent. Keeping this bottled up and offering the other cheek was not going to work.

… She already had experience with bottling things up and this wasn't going to be another Seviathan fiasco.

Don't allow you to be fooled though. Unless this had gone a much different way, which it thankfully didn't, Charlie's anger would be short lived. But a few days? Perhaps a week, two, or even a month? Yes, sure. But no more, not really. Charlie wasn't one to be angry for long, but playing with her heart in any way was perhaps the only, if not THE singular, way to make her real mad. More than hurting her friends or loved ones even, but only by the smallest smidge.

Charlie was part demon after all, and every demon was a creature of passion, of emotions, more so than humans. Love was not a common focus, but come on. Charlie wouldn't fool anyone trying to pass any other emotion or desire as the one thing to drive her. Well, perhaps compassion, but even with her heritage that would never be her main drive, not alone.

It sure as fuck sucked balls right now. Or at least it did when Vaggie opened her mouth again.

"Good, good… Problem is… I cannot forgive myself."

Because Vaggie was nothing if not self loathing. This damn mess did not help any.

"Vaggie-."

"No, Charlie. I know you want to make this look better than it is." Vaggie had a hard, but still sad, look the moment she raised her head to look at Charlie. "I fucked up. I fucked up HARD. I should have been honest from the start, not a coward. This is on me, and it is another fuckup I have to atone for."

"But… Then what are you going to do?"

At last the anger lost to the unknown and Charlie's natural meek nature. Oh the anger was still there, that wasn't going away, not like this. But Charlie's default nature was not only bubbly, happy, giving and friendly; it was also insecure, afraid of doing harm and being alone.

"Sleep on my own, for one." Vaggie began, and that alone made Charlie wince internally. "Then… I suppose we should keep things professional for a while. Just… work… you know?"

It was obvious Vaggie wanted to say more. A pointed glare from Charlie made her fess up.

"Charlie. From day one I didn't feel deserving of your help, then of your love, and in the end this has made the point clear: I did not work towards my own redemption from all the shit I did. I lied, I allowed my anger to go up to eleven at the slightest thing, more so if it came to you, and it is a fucking miracle that I haven't killed anyone with you around. Or worse: I could have hurt you." Charlie was about to intervene before Vaggie cut her off. "Don't tell me I wasn't close to that exact damn thing the many, MANY times you stopped me from skewering someone with my spear."

Charlie winced. Okay, so most likely that would have hurt. It would have left a nasty wound behind if it hit somewhere like her eye and stuff, but Charlie was almost one hundred percent sure that Vaggie wouldn't have been able to kill her even at the worst of times.

Perhaps not even permanently hurt her!

Or leave a serious wound of any kind!

Or scars!

… Maybe.

"Look, hon, el amor de mi vida." Vaggie had seen Charlie's face and used it as fuel to go on. "Saying 'I love you' should mean something. And it does. I swear. But it loses all that power when you lie through your teeth. When you hurt the ones you love." That was true, Charlie knew, but-. "It is true: Not once did I lie when I said I loved you. I will say it for as long as you allow me to. But there were lies in our relationship. Not ones that were the foundation of it all, but I did betray your trust from day one. And that trust? I need to regain it, not just have your good nature forgive me." Vaggie got up, half a mind to just turn away and start walking. "I must force myself to stay away. We have to keep a level of distance. Your heart must decide if it grows fonder when I am not here… or if I hurt it enough for you to reject me."

Charlie's spirit clearly dimmed at this. "This is more a punishment for the both of us, Vaggie. I may be angry, but I'd prefer if you stayed here, with me. I hate seeing you this miserable, this hurting. I want to make things clear and fix things, but just walking away…"

"And would your anger last more than a day if I am next to you twenty four seven like I always try to?" Vaggie placed her hands on her hips as she looked back at her girlfriend. "Come on Charlie. I have been the liar here. You said so yourself: You told me everything. And I know that, if you saw me miserable long enough, you would, at worst, try to let all that anger out quickly, either before or after telling me that all was fine, perhaps fucking begging me to forgive you after your outburst. And believe me: Tenias todas las razones del mundo para hacer eso y más. Or am I wrong?"

"Fuck, Vaggie." Charlie couldn't help it. She did her best to hide under the bed's covers. Childish as it was, she felt she needed it. "You make me sound like the biggest pushover ever."

Charlie heard nothing.

Charlie took her head away from the covers.

Charlie saw her girlfriend throwing her THAT look.

"Oh fuck you."

"After this resolves itself." Vaggie said, a smile on her lips. It faded quickly, but there was still hope there. "If you decide that I do deserve to be forgiven ONCE you really think it over."

There was a little flash of anger in Charlie's mind and face at those words. Yes, she was angry. But this was nothing compared to… other events. This was not abuse on Vaggie's part. Abuse sent Charlie's way. Abuse that piled up day after day.

Vaggie was not Seviathan. She would be forgiven. Charlie just needed time.

"Welp! That is my cue!"

Though right now Charlie wanted to bring a pitchfork from her father's castle and throw it at him.

"DAD!"

"Sir!"

Because Lucifer opened the doors to her room with the most grandiose crashing sound imaginable. He remade them with a snap of the fingers, sure, but clearly he had intended to destroy the moment.

Wait… Charlie realized her father wasn't doing any of his usual silliness.

Fuck.

This was 'the talk'. Whatever it would mean with him.

"No sir. Just Lucifer, or dad if you want. Unless it makes things weird? Shit, I didn't want to make it weird."

Lucifer, ironically enough, got flustered by his own actions. Then again Charlie knew her dad, so this wasn't the weirdest. Whatever, he cleared his throat and approached the duo. He had a smile at first, but it slowly withered away as he looked at Charlie.

So… this was going to be a serious talk. Charlie didn't know if she was ready for it.

"Now let me be serious and honest: I am sorry, but I was spying on you two." That elicited a quick and choked 'what?' from Vaggie, but Charlie had expected something like that. Her dad knew her well enough to understand how matters of the heart could influence her and make her do… stupid things. As such it was Vaggie the one he looked at, not Charlie, when he spoke again. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay, Vagatha."

"That is not my-." Vaggie took a deep breath through her nose to calm down a flustered rant. There was another thing in her mind. "Why were you worried about me? I hurt your daughter."

"And I am not happy about that. I thought you'd be more sensible, that you would've told Charlie about your 'dirty wittle secret'.

Lucifer could be serious (and he was) while saying those words, but he couldn't help being a bit teatric about it with sparkling eyes and hand movements on top of it all. Charlie knew what that was. He was trying to project an image right now. Whatever was to be said was likely going to be a literal bomb.

"But no. You kept it secret from her. Hell, it surprises me that no one has blown your cover yet, Vaggie! There are a lot of idiots in Hell, but far too many are smart enough to notice. Alastor himself probably had inklings about this before the big reveal. He may be a prick, but he isn't stupid."

Charlie bit her cheek to stop herself from saying a thing. Of course Alastor had likely suspected something. It made sense. He was obsessive compulsive when it came to knowledge, if only because 'knowledge' also meant 'power'. And Alastor was interested in having as much of that as he could.

"Look. I am not happy that you lied to Charlie, but this is not just on you. If Charlie had wanted to be a bit more inquisitive and guarded she would've figured things out very quickly. I may be labeled a 'demon', but 'fallen angel' is still not the same as a hellborn, now, is it?"

That was true, and Charlie knew her dad wasn't saying this because he was ashamed, just bothered at her actions. Lucifer had been very angry back when Seviathan-no, not talking about that in particular. She had already come close enough today. Though in a way it warmed her heart that her dad was worrying about her like this. On the other hand it made her ashamed of how her father thought she had learned her lesson, only to disappoint him by proving she was still a lovesick fool, at least to a point.

"But I wasn't spying because I thought Charlie was going to hurt you for no reason. Well, there was a chance…" Huh? Charlie looked at her father with wide eyes. "Though, to be honest, the most likely possibility here was you firing back on Charlie and fanning at the embers of her anger until it became a roaring inferno. THAT would've been bad."

Vaggie gasped and recoiled as if struck. "I would NEVER-"

"That is where you are wrong. Take a seat."

Lucifer pointed his cane Vaggie's way before he waved a hand. Considering Vaggie didn't seem mentally prepared to stay right besides Charlie right now (And that Lucifer's straightforwardness had caught her off guard), summoning a pair of seats for them all to form a triangle so they could have this talk seemed sensible enough.

The moment Lucifer sat down on his own portable throne he let out a long suffering sigh. "You know, this was the kind of thing I had thought wouldn't need to happen for a few more decades, or centuries. Perhaps millenia? It is always so hard to predict."

"Dad…" Charlie was getting worried at this point. "What… What is going on?"

"Two important topics I thought I wouldn't have to tackle for a long time, really."

Charlie saw her father try and get comfortable. She also saw him sag while trying to maintain an at least neutral face. It was like the many times her mother took Charlie away from her father when he was working on something. Or the times when his problems brought him down and Lilith thought Charlie was better off somewhere else for Lucifer to either work those problems on his own, or to ensure Charlie didn't get in the blast radius of his most negative moments.

It was never pretty, Charlie would tell that much to anyone she trusted. But sometimes she can't help but wonder if being there, for him, would've helped any. Or perhaps her mother was right and Lucifer needed to grow some strength and will of his own to fight. That hadn't happened until he saw just how much he had missed with Charlie.

So what could be so important, so heavy, for him to almost revert back?

"I am going to step down, you know?" Lucifer began, and Charlie's eyes widened just as much as Vaggie. "Not now of course. But once this is done? I think it is high time for me to just retire. I haven't really been doing that good a job now, have I?"

"What? Dad!" Charlie even saw Vaggie sitting up straight as an arrow while looking her girlfriend's way. This wasn't how either of them thought any of this would go, and as Lucifer lifted a hand she knew it was not the hardest topic to tackle. "Why would you step down? I barely have been able to keep the hotel running! Do you think I could do anything you do? I'd be ridiculed and laughed off ANY of the venues you go to for your speeches and other duties!"

"I barely do those anymore, Charlie." Her father sounded so damn tired as he said those words. "I doubt you'd be any worse than me. You at least are out and about most of the time."

"And people tell me to eat shit ninety percent of the time." Charlie deadpanned with a groan. "Seriously, dad. Why would you ever think of-?"

"Because this latest adventure is going to kill me. At least it is a likely possibility." And Lucifer said those words in such a nonchalant way that Charlie almost fell from the bed. Vaggie herself felt as if her eye was going to pop out of her socket. "Oh come on. Vaggie I can understand; she was just told this. But you, Charlie? I thought you caught my hints when I tried to 'reassure' Emily." Lucifer let out a groan as he rubbed his temple. It was clear to Charlie that, at the very least, he had hoped for this to not be a surprise. "Honey: We are going to be at war with Heaven for this. Some of the people up there are NOT going to let this fly."

Vaggie found her voice to ask a very pertinent question. "Is war truly assured, Lucifer?"

"Fuck no. But is it going to happen? I'd bet my life on it." Lucifer seemed adamant in this belief, something that made Charlie shudder. "Whether I like it or not, it is almost guaranteed. That is one of the things I had been afraid of for a long time. This version of Hell was always meant to clash with Heaven."

There was a very short, very tense, lul in the conversation.

"This… version?"

Charlie wasn't sure if it was her or Vaggie, but the question was asked with no little amount of fear and surprise mixed in.

For his par Lucifer just took a deep breath. "This is… part of what I wanted to talk about." He made another pause. This topic was obviously loaded, Charlie could see. "Let's start from the beginning then. Do you know what Father told me when I offered my gift to Eve?" The question was rhetoric of course, but Lucifer allowed Charlie a second to say or ask something. When neither she, nor Vaggie, raised a question or a guess of their own, he went ahead. "'My son, you are so predictable. You always do the same'. He began that whole mess all but dishing me out, and he wasn't fucking done, because he went on to say. 'If you ever get the chance, if you ever meet her in her moment of need, you always offer them freedom. It doesn't matter if I take yours away before or after, it doesn't matter if you are 'good' or if you are 'evil'. You always do this in this version of my creation. In all dimensions, in all planes. I wonder then… just how many variables are there in this particular experiment?'."

"But then…" Charlie didn't know if this realization came with dread, but there was certainly trepidation in her voice. "Does… does that mean we aren't…?"

"We are real, sure enough. If that is what you are wondering. And I'd understand if you were confused. I was too, and, honestly, the whole thing is complicated. As to 'are we the first?' question? No, we aren't." Lucifer twirled his cane in his hand, a way to de-stress. It was clear enough that this was no less upsetting for him after knowing for who knew how long. "I asked many questions of course. Like, 'how many other versions are there?' and 'why do you allow all of this to happen' and a lot of others. I probably rambled as Father kept us there for… perhaps a small eternity. I am sure He kept time frozen for a while so I could let it all out."

Charlie pursed her lips. "I hate to say this but… Grandpa sounds… uncaring, or distant."

Vaggie tsked. "God sounds like an asshole."

"He is many things." Lucifer ventured, neutral. "He told me… He told me that there were reasons for that. The most important? That the 'He' that I saw was not 'Him' in its entirety."

"Wait, I don't understand. Wouldn't that mean that God is not God?" Charlie asked, confused. Had she heard right?

Vaggie seemed to catch on faster. "No, no that is not it. I think… It is like this 'version' of reality? This is just a 'version' of God?."

"Well, it is an accurate term. Though if you'd like a more 'precise way', then don't think of Him so much a 'version' as a…" Lucifer searched for a word that could define it. He gave up quickly and went with what seemed to be her go to for a long while. "Think of it more like a skin cell."

Vaggie grimaced. "A skin cell?"

"A topmost layer of what God is, in essence." Lucifer nodded to himself. Charlie didn't know if this was the best her father could come up with or if it was an apt definition of reality. "His explanation was a bit more like, hmm…" He made a pause to recall the memory. "He said it more or less like this: 'I am but a fragment. God has many faces. I am one of the many versions of myself, I am a researcher. Knowledge is my main drive; creation, good, evil, punishment and reward. They are all paths to get all the information I need. Others use emotions derived from anger, love and more. I act through curiosity and logic. You, my son, and all versions of you, in many different iterations of this version of creation, and any versions with a Lucifer of their own, are always a rewarding subject to watch over.'"

Vaggie's previous grimace turned into a harsh scowl. "Sounds like we are nothing but a little side experiment to God."

"Yes, and no." Usually Charlie would've seen her father laugh at that expression, but now he was deadly serious. "It is not that simple. Father can be… a pain, in many ways, but He does not lie. It serves no purpose to Him. As such he explained: When He first came to be, for ALL things must have a beginning, He was inexperienced. God, for His first creation, made a vast expanse that would make all of His current universes nothing but pebbles in comparison."

Charlie's eyes widened. Could this be a grandiose tale on God's part? Perhaps, but if God, this version of Him anyway, was a 'man of science', then exaggeration was not exactly par for the course. It would tamper with His research as it were. Unless it served a very specific purpose, then there was no reason to make it sound as if it was bigger than it should.

And since Lucifer made no correction, then it probably was as she surmised. Instead, Lucifer went on.

"God created many of the things humans dream and fantasize about; species, worlds, minor deities and more. He wished, even back then, to create perfection. His very first thought was that: The most magnificent thing to ever exist. That was God's desire and drive. And to this day, it has not been achieved."

Charlie let a small frown adorn her face. "But wouldn't that mean that God isn't perfect either?"

"He isn't." Lucifer nodded. It wasn't really a big surprise, but it was still disheartening. "God was an absolute being, yes, but He was not perfect upon his materialization, nor is He perfect now. And He would come to learn this truth, for His first creation crumbled and, when that happened, He'd come to learn of other Gods such as himself. It was then that He took upon Himself a name and took time to try His creation again." Lucifer made a face of his own, one that Charlie couldn't place. "It was upon this second attempt that God found out one of the reasons behind His failure: God could not be present upon the planes He created. God's real name could not be spoken upon the planes he created. God's will itself could not be present within said planes. That is why God has so many names in many different religions, why there are avatars and many ways for Him to act, but not for Him to be physically there as Himself."

Charlie shuddered. "Does… does that mean that grandpa could just… destroy by being present? That His mere presence would be harmful? That it could end everything?"

"His power could. And even if it didn't, it would push His own creations towards self destruction." Lucifer confirmed, making Charlie's discomfort grow. "And this setback added fuel to His desire to create perfection."

"Because God would like to be with His creations?" Vaggie ventured a guess. When she got another nod the latina frowned. "But why? This… version of God that exists here. He doesn't sound like…"

"A doting father? No, He doesn't. But He IS, in His own way. Or that is what I'd like to believe." Charlie could see her dad wishing, firmly hoping, for that to be true. In a way so did Charlie. But after learning of this… "But I will not deny it: God cannot be understood. He can offer explanations, insight and more. But can you ever understand God or His love? Or His hopes and dreams? God is the Father and Mother of countless versions of creations. He is the only creature that could define infinity. He is fragmented into so many tiny specks that no one could ever imagine the vastness of His presence." Lucifer's voice slowly rose, almost reaching a crescendo, until he dropped it. "But this means that what He feels is needed will also be done. Cruelty, destruction, abuse… All are needed to further explore all possibilities. He does not hate us, but while He loves His creations, Father cannot grow attached. Not until His plan is fulfilled."

"He told me this and much more. But there was one key aspect that He made clear." Lucifer sent his cane back as he relaxed his posture. "All He did, was so one day, someday, we all could be happy. He did not sugarcoat: It mattered not who it was. Mortal, immortal, human, demon, angel… Everyone would have choices to make. And when they were made? Then there was a chance for conflict to brew. I asked Him again, and he told me that while said 'conflict' could very well be one fought with words…"

"You don't think it will. *He* didn't think it would be that kind of fight either, clearly." Vaggie had a more pensive look on her face the moment Charlie faced her. "From what I saw, and from what I know, it is very likely that angels will not just up and quit what has been going on. Many may be against it, but since humans are going to learn of it all too…"

"There are many that would not take kindly to Hell and act in their self interest to try and land a deal with Heaven. And it goes without saying that many religious people of all walks of life will join them too." Lucifer didn't need to explain further. Charlie knew her father had a relatively low opinion when it came to humanity, but even if she was hopeful, Charlie wasn't stupid. She knew many humans would, no matter what, fear Hell. "I do sincerely hope that this can be a contest other than strength, but, much as I tried to reassure young Emily, I doubt we'll transition to a more peaceful age without the use of violence."

"But, then…" Charlie didn't allow a second to pass the moment her father stopped. "Why doesn't He step in? It is true that Grandpa is, well, 'not here', exactly. But this 'fragment' of Him is. He interacted with you, with Creation, with His angels. He may have even interacted with normal mortals! Why is he allowing this to go on?"

The question didn't seem to bother her dad, but Lucifer did seem slightly pained. "Because, when he first made 'this' particular version of creation. Not ours, not any of those currently in existence as far as I am aware, the 'original'. The idea was to allow angels to run either everything, or almost everything."

Vaggie adopted a very similar expression to Lucifer. "So… the idea was to see if angels were any better than humans?"

"Basically." Lucifer nodded, clearly ashamed of the implications. "Apparently Dad does have a soft spot for humans, that much Is true, and he uses them as a basic metric. They were likely His first real living creations. That is why, in a way, they are flawed, but why they can CREATE like He does. Angels of all kinds were His second attempt at making something, thus He made them much more varied and just as capable when Creating. In a way He wants all other creations made by Him to be as adaptable, creative or free as humans."

"Sounds like a pipedream." Vaggie groused. "I sure as fuck didn't get any better when I went to Heaven. And from what I learned, angels COULD be better, but many of them get to be worse than humans in some way."

"Sure, not like I am going to say otherwise. I have experience there." Lucifer let out a nervous laugh. "My best guess is that all Father can hope is, in reality, for results that have us all living together without trying to kill each other. Creator or not, different species are just that: Different. And you can see that Hell and Heaven don't have that many problems between the species. It is mostly humans that have a natural fear from other species because of… reasons that aren't important for this conversation."

Charlie could see her dad's point there, sure, but something didn't click. "But what does this have to do with you stepping down from your position?" She saw right away that her father was going to try and downplay the act. "Dad! Don't bullshit me, please! Tell me straight."

Lucifer deflated the moment Charlie showed she was not up for more stalling. "There are a few reasons." He finally admitted. "One has to do with the information I just gave you."

"Why is knowing about Grandad important here?" Charlie wouldn't say she disliked the idea of learning about her family. This? This… tested that previous thought. "It is… Well, I won't say it is nice. But-."

"There is a lot more information that I learned, Charlie. A lot of knowledge crammed into my mind. One little secret Father shared with me was this: Nephilim are strong, Charlie. YOU are, or could be, strong, stronger than me, or your mother." Lucifer was candid with his voice and his smile was a proud one, of that Charlie was sure. "You have a big heart and the will to help everyone. Much as I have shaken my doubts and a few of the cobwebs… I don't think I could do what Hells needs from me. I am just… tired."

That…

It hurt to hear.

Not the pride in her father's voice. No, that was the sole reason Charlie almost, almost, smiled. But to hear him so defeated still was heart wrenching. It was clear her father had been damaged for so long that he didn't see himself recovering.

"Another reason." Lucifer either didn't notice or he pushed himself to speak. "Is that there may be more challenges, not just Heaven. I… don't want to tell you about the possibilities. It would require many, and I do mean many, things to go wrong. Part of my time taking care of things instead of directly helping you will be spent making sure this… problem… never bothers you. But that will also mean I will need to devote time to keeping things safe, using my own power to do so. It will weaken me somewhat." Lucifer huffed at the thought. "A weakened leader is not fit to rule, that much I can tell you."

Charlie bit her tongue. Her father could be many things, but he wasn't weak. Was he easy to distract, demoralize and a bit more insane than most in Hell? Sure, but he wasn't weak. For him to say that there was something that would eat at her strength…

Charlie wanted to know, but she told herself to not press the issue.

"Finally? I just want to rest, Charlotte." Lucifer's shoulder shagged and his hair almost came undone. It suddenly dawned on Charlie just how tired her father really was. "This hasn't drained my strength, the portal, I mean. But this whole event? It is eating at me. No matter what happens I am afraid that something is going to happen to YOU. I don't have Lilith anymore, Charlie. All I have left is you, and even if Lilith was here I would worry about you above all else."

The sentiment made Charlie almost teat up. She held back as her father talked, but she did offer a very happy smile at the thought. There had been so many times when Charlie thought her dad had just been disappointed in her…

Until they had that moment at the hotel, before she went to Heaven. Her father trying to discourage her made sense. He was so afraid of her getting hurt. Be it her feelings or her life. Both were important to Lucifer. Part of it was Pride, yes, her father was the embodiment of it. But she knew that Lucifer would waste away if something serious happened to her. Charlie was his little princes now and forever, and losing her would destroy the King of Hell without recourse.

"I want to enjoy seeing you grow, Charlie. I have lost more than enough moments in your life. So, if this all goes as well as one could hope for? If I am still around, no matter if Emily's attempts succeed or not? Then I want to be with you and support you, but not be in charge." Lucifer's smile finally returned to him. "I want you to make the best out of Hell. If there is one person that could, it should be you, Charlie. You'd be perfect as queen."

Charlie's smile grew as much as her father's. He sounded so happy with the idea. Even if Charlie didn't really wish to lead, not now, she could hardly find it in her heart to say no to her dad.

So why was her father's smile a false one? Lucifer was incredible at bluffing, but his own daughter knew him well enough.

"Sadly, Charlie… this was the, 'other', topic I wanted to breach." Lucifer had reverted back to how he had talked many times in the past, at least when it came to Charlie. He sounded insecure, he was rubbing his hands, and he was looking everywhere, including at the two women in front of him. "Charlie… You will need an heir."

That…

Of course it would be something like that. A topic they had breached a long time ago.

Back when Seviathan was involved.

"Dad-."

"I know. I know. I don't want to bring those memories back." Lucifer almost backpedaled, but he did so for a moment. "And… I know it isn't exactly… polite. Not after…" And part of his reticence was clear when he nodded towards Vaggie.

Charlie looked at her girlfriend. She had been silent while Lucifer poured his heart out. And after this? She was looking away, but Charlie knew her face would be one of dread.

Perhaps Charlie had that anger still inside of her. But this? She would not agree. She knew that she was not ready to have Vaggie with her like before. Perhaps a few days would do them good, perhaps Vaggie was right. A period to cool down and think things through. To wait and come clean with any other secrets after. Charlie could see that.

She would not throw her girlfriend away.

"Dad." Charlie began, she even scooted closer to the edge of the bed to sit as close to Vaggie as she could. Maybe she would not go to Vaggie, she could react badly with a mix of grief from before and this mess, but Charlie wanted to be near her. "I am not-"

Vaggie surprised Charlie by getting up. "It is alright, Charlie." There was a tersenes to her voice that Charlie had expected, but it still hurt. "We were… going to take a break after all. This may be for the be-."

"I never said Charlie should let you go." Lucifer stopped both Vaggie before she left and Charlie before she got out of bed to all but beg Vaggie to stay. Charlie would've done it too, she was about to in fact.

Though the effect was a bit more pronounced than he had expected. Charlie was surprised enough that she tripped and fell on her ass while Vaggie just let out a dumb 'huh?', as if she had expected to be discarded at some point.

Come to think of it, Charlie could see it. Vaggie hadn't fought at all when Charlie unloaded on her. She had been far too meek. While it was common for Vaggie to defer to Charlie, it was not an absolute. Vaggie would regularly try to make Charlie see the error in her own ways, she was also very headstrong. It was as if she had been expecting, or even wishing, to be pushed away.

As Charlie awaited for her father to explain she couldn't help but question just how deep her girlfriend's self loathing could run. Was it really so brutal that Vaggie agreed with what she thought was basically the King of Hell telling her to leave? Or was she afraid of what Charlie's dad could do? Considering Charlie herself would go so far as to fight her father if that came to happen, Charlie would have to side with the former possibility.

Vaggie was not lying; Husk really knew his clientele. And Vaggie? She was disgusted at herself. Any punishment would be too lenient, no matter what it was.

"But you said 'heir'." And Vaggie seemed determined to hurt herself, even if it also hurt Charlie. Perhaps more so. Charlie could see how Vaggie's mind thought it'd be a surefire way to make Charlie resent her. "I highly doubt you mean us adopting."

"Well, you could. I am not opposed to that." Lucifer admitted with a shrug. "I wouldn't mind at all." And his frankness made Charlie smile a bit, just a bit. This situation was still tense but Charlie loved that her dad was this open. "But you are right; only one of Charlie's blood would be heir. I would hardly mind having quite a few adopted grandchildren, but if Charlie is to inherit, she must have a biological child at some point."

Vaggie frowned. She was clearly pleased with Lucifer's mind, just like Charlie, it was obvious. But this just meant she was right. Right? "Then why do you say that we could stay together? Charlie and I can't-."

"You can have a child, no problem in fact." Lucifer cleared as if it was no trouble at all to talk about this.

Charlie knew better.

Her father was clearly out of his depth here, but he was pushing through for a reason. His nervous look, nonstoping moving hands and legs. He wanted to be anywhere but here.

"There are ways for Sinners to have children. Very few, mind, and I would need to give permission myself. Plus a lot of magic crap; rituals, enchantments and other stuff." Lucifer waved his hands in this grandiose manner. Charlie knew he wasn't just acting. She did learn about that because her mother had told her it was important. The amount of work to bring a Sinner's child to the world was… not small, let's say. "You are a Winner though. In a way it would be easier and harder, but I am sure it could be done."

Vaggie looked at Charlie, then at Lucifer again. Charlie could see her confusion. "We are still both women."

"And there are spells for you or Charlie to 'grow something extra' to spice things up in the bedroom. A temporary sex change spell, though it is a bitch with the after effects, could help one of you become the 'dad' too. Heck, even alchemy and technology and a pinch of Hell's magic could help." Lucifer went on, quickly making Vaggie's tune change and ponder. "True that it comes at a price, more so in Hell. The laws of how things should work would throw a fit if the same sex has children, unless it is hermaphroditic. Something to do with the souls and stuff. Generally leads to barren children, intersexed ones or mental problems. BUT! Those can be fixed with more magic and other means, more so for people as strong in magic as us."

Vaggie and Charlie both nodded along. The last part Charlie wasn't aware of, but it did explain why there were so many, eh, 'quirky' people in Hell. Take it as you may.

It did make Vaggie ponder though.

"Then why do you suggest Charlie finds… someone else?" Vaggie looked at her girlfriend, both of them clearly confused and not exactly happy with the thought. To say Charlie saw hurt in her eyes would be putting it mildly. "This… What reason is there for it?"

Lucifer's grimace returned. He would've talked about any other thing. Almost any other thing. But Charlie saw how her dad forced himself to speak.

"Because Father cursed Lilith's bloodline."

Those words were accompanied by one of Lucifer's little shows. His typical snap of the fingers to bring something in a grandiose manner Charlie did expect, that all he brought, with no fanfare and barely any light or showmanship, was a small book was… ominous. The snap itself had not been usual either, it had sounded strangely melodic, and even for her father Charlie found it weird.

There was a good reason, though, and Lucifer proved it quickly enough.

"This little book is very important, Charlie." Lucifer began. "It holds many names, thousands of them. It also has many of my thoughts. Small as it may look, I have been using it for an absurdly long time." He allowed the book to levitate towards Charlie and she, without a second thought, held it tightly when it was close enough. "I don't want you to read it, not now. The contents are… heavy. But one day, if you are ready, then open it."

Its cover was brown, aged and clearly repaired and constantly restored by magic. Charlie could see the hint of yellow on the border of the pages, yet the magic within told her that they had been preserved, de-aged, and remade so many times that this little thing probably had more magic than most things in Hell.

There were no special marks and no embroidery. This book, at best, would be seen as an ancient whatever; an unimportant, if ancient, tome with no name and no importance. The only thing that made it impressive was who it came from. Even then, considering all the books, grimoires and knick knacks shaped into a book form in her father's possession, this felt like a normal, unassuming thing. Something Lucifer could've gotten once, stashed away and permeated with his magic just by virtue of being next to the King of Hell.

But it had to be important, right?

"What… is this book?" Charlie asked, even Vaggie was looking at it with a curious, perhaps nervous, eye.

"Charlie…" Lucifer looked so deadly serious it scared both women. "Have I made it look like I love my Father?"

She wasn't taken aback, but Lucifer's tone made her doubt. "I… don't know? I mean. I… I cannot say I liked most of what you said about Grandad. I thought He'd be… different." Charlie didn't want to badmouth her family, but she could hardly see what she'd call 'good' in God's actions. "I mean, you did say you believe Grandad loves us, but…" She just let it linger there.

Because Charlie was not sure she believed the same thing her dad did.

And, as it turned out, even if her dad believed it, this did not change his own feelings on the matter.

"I hate Him, Charlie." Lucifer spoke plainly. There was still that uneasiness, clear doubt and distaste in the topic, but he did not back down. "I hate Father in ways you couldn't believe." He crossed his arms and laid back, a gruff huff escaping his lips. "A lot of the knowledge I have is tied to my time in Heaven, girls. In turn, it is tied to this position as the ruler of Hell. When Charlie inherits the throne she will get this knowledge through her connection to my soul and blood. The ability to control Hell comes along with it. That is why, no matter what, only a child of our bloodline can sit on the throne."

Vaggie looked at Charlie, and Charlie looked back with worry. It was Vaggie the one to press the question. "And this has to do with Lilith's blood being cursed?"

"Remember that I told you two that my Father is capable of great cruelty to, ever slowly, get closer to perfection?" Lucifer made both women wait for a second before he delivered. "That is one of the reasons I was so nonchalant about telling both of you that I may die; what I will seal away will drain a lot out of me. There are few ways for that power to be returned, but there ARE ways. If I die? The power stays spent and the moment I am gone the seal will be permanent."

Charlie grimaced. "Dad, that doesn't have anything to do with-."

"Perfection is not like you imagined Heaven, Charlie." Lucifer sounded terse, almost angry, at his daughter's interruption. He didn't look it, and he clearly had an apologetic expression the moment Charlie almost backed away at his words, but he was unrelenting. "Perfection requires hardship, much like Vaggie said: If you make everything 'good and happy' all the time, you stagnate. That is why Father creates challenges, dangers, and suffering. He has found no way of creating a version of existence without it that lasts too long. And you know what? I understand. But I refuse to let this problem land on your lap, Charlie."

His expression turned soft and gentle as the words went by. It was clear to Charlie that her father, while unhappy about this, would do anything for her. Dying, however, was not something she wanted for him to do. Not now, not ever.

"Is…" She had to venture a question. This couldn't be THAT bad, right? "Is it bad enough that you'd prefer dying to seal it away forever?"

"I'd prefer this problem not to be there in the first place." Lucifer grumbled, avoiding an answer for a moment. "But if I needed to? For you? I would. Even then, when you inherit all of this, you will know of that… thing. I doubt you'll be able to sleep for a while."

Charlie was disturbed. Something that would get her to be sleepless? Granted, compared to other demons, it didn't take that much to unnerve Charlie. But if her dad was this adamant? Then perhaps she really did not want to know.

"But if this has to do with suffering." Vaggie pushed. She was curious too at this point. And while this 'thing' was clearly in her mind, she was wondering what was in that book and what the curse had to do with anything. "What curse did God put on Lilith?"

Lucifer tightened where he stood. His position, his face, even the air around him. It felt as if the temperature dropped for a second before the King of Hell let it out and Charlie saw her old, tired, sad dad sitting in front of his tools once more. Only difference was that now he was here, and he was going to tell her one of the many reasons he had always been a wreck.

She quickly realized she would've been happier not knowing.

Because Lucifer told it as it was. And neither Vaggie nor Charlie held any illusions the moment he spoke. "There are many myths about Nephilim, their power and the challenge they could pose to God. There are also many myths about their deaths, who ordered them and so on. All of them are lies, because the truth lies with another myth: That of Lilith's children dying."

Charlie didn't say anything. Vaggie didn't say anything. They both looked at Charlie's hands, where the book was resting.

Thousands of names.

"Nephilim can harm creation, Charlie." Lucifer spoke through Charlie's shock and realization. "If they aren't forced through something to balance their existence, an existence brought by God's first two creations, they could rival God. If that happens, reality unravels. Even God has to go through the rules if He wants to build a reality, and in those rules there cannot be equal to God while God is present."

And did that justify this? Charlie wanted to scream that question at her father. But was she right to do so? Her father was not at fault, she knew.

But the book… it felt heavier now.

"So Father solved that problem in this version of reality in a simple way: A curse. Lilith's blood would never bear children to term, not with me, not with anything that came from Heaven." The words hurt more and more as Charlie heard her father's tale. She looked at Vaggie, seeing the woman's eye wide with realization. "Even when fallen, even if originally human, what comes from Heaven is meant to never bear fruit with the first woman's line. Her soul is forever cursed by the Creator. That is how the Nephilim could be allowed to exist in this version. That is how any other angel and human could have children… just not your mother and I."

Charlie squeezed the book in her hand. She did so with as much strength as she could. She wanted to rip it apart. Anger, disgust and hate trying to eat at her.

But she couldn't. She didn't stop consciously, no. She tried to break the thing to pieces. The book was just that strongly enchanted.

All the better. This, much as Charlie hated being angry, would be a reminder.

"But you tried." Charlie could hardly find her voice. Part of it was sadness, part of it was fear that her anger would crack her defenses and take control. "You tried, dad. So many times. So many possible brothers and sisters… gone…" And it made her realize. "How… how am I alive?"

"The same way I aim to seal that danger I told you about." Lucifer offered a candid, longing smile. One that resonated with Charlie's love as he took a hand into his chest.

Lucifer pulled out his very own soul for Charlie to see.

It was… cracked.

It is hard to explain with a soul. It can take many forms, look in many ways, and sometimes it depends on who is looking at it. For Charlie? It looked like a flaming light when she gazed upon her father's soul. A flame that had dark spots, a light that emitted specks of darkness.

A soul that had been torn in places.

"Lilith had never managed to carry a pregnancy past the first month." Lucifer inspected his soul, as if he hadn't done so in ages. Vaggie and Charlie both looked at it, transfixed, before the Devil took it back within his person. "She could not do this alone, not with that curse. So I offered her my everything. Father may have all the power in His Creation, but I had a fragment within me. We had been trying for so long, my dear. We had lost so many… It had been a long time since your mother wanted to try. And this time? This time I promised it would work. So when I offered, she took it."

"I linked my soul to you, Charlie." That alone made Charlie gasp. "I tore my very being apart to keep you alive, Charlie. At first, just mere days, it hurt. But as weeks, then months, went by, the pain grew. I lost more and more power and, if I had been challenged, I could've lost. But I did it. I will not lie; part of this last attempt was both of us, Lilith and I, trying to stick it to Father. He had laid the grounds for other Nephilim to live, but not our own. Dear, we indulged in other people regularly to spice things up, but the only one we wanted to be at the end of the day was each other." That much Charlie could've lived without, but her father quickly offered her something else to focus on. "But the greatest desire? It was to have YOU, Charlie. To finally bring our family to be what it should be. Your mother and I wanted you to be with us, and the both of us were willing to give anything, absolutely anything so you could exist."

Lucifer had a fond smile on his face, one that looked at Charlie as if this was a normal scene between a normal, proud father and his perfect daughter. It was… it felt good. Despite everything that was going on, despite how shity this conversation had been, Charlie felt as if this was a great step to finally have everything she ever wanted with her father.

But considering all she had been told? Perhaps she was being hasty. Still, she dared to hope.

It also brought a thought to her mind. "Dad, correct me if I am wrong but… Isn't that depicted in some of those magic books you had me study? That kind of thing weakens a soul permanently."

"That it does, yes." Lucifer nodded, clearly proud that his daughter's studying had paid off. Charlie couldn't be happy about it though. It meant her own life had truly come at a cost to her father. "In my heyday I could've battled a fellow Archangel. Perhaps I wouldn't win, but I could easily get a stalemate, or lose by a hair or a small margin. Now?" He had a sincere smile as he offered the truth. "I would probably get killed. But hey! It was worth it. You made it all worth it, Charlie."

"Even then, that is a big sacrifice." Vaggie said with something in her mind making her words tremble a bit. A clear shudder wracking her body told Charlie she had a horrible thought running rampant in there. "With what you said about God… I somehow expected for Him, or some angel, to come down here and not only do something to Charlie, but make sure your soul was left in tatters."

Lucifer nodded, but he stood straighter than he had until now. "Lilith thought so too, but I didn't care. We had stopped trying for so long, and with Lilith wishing for one last try, I was going to put my all on it. Much like with this… other business I have to deal with: I am willing to die for the happiness of those I love."

It was unsurprising that Charlie noticed pride in her father's words. And she wouldn't deny him this: She owed her father her life, in multiple ways. More than most children do, that was for sure.

How devoted a parent must be to love their child so, to the point of willingly trying to push them away, even shatter their dreams, just because they want to protect said child? Considering the amount of loss Lucifer had suffered, there was no way Charlie could be angry at him about his previous words and attempts at discouraging some of her actions.

Just how much had her dad suffered every time she could've been hurt, or worse? He, a being that had been alive before creation, had to nearly kill himself to have ONE child with the woman he loved.

And… and Lilith had abandoned him. It was a fact that bothered him greatly, even now he was rubbing that golden band on his finger.

All Lucifer had left was Charlie.

Charlie wanted to get up and hug her father, but there was something in his eyes that said he wasn't done. Considering all he needed to do, and that this all was probably taking a toll on him, Charlie doubted he'd stay long enough for her to have that chance.

"Now, I know it is late and that today has been… heavy." Lucifer reignited the conversation as he stopped idly toying with his ring. "So let's finish this. And allow me to start this final stretch by making amends." The King of Hell faced Vaggie, not his daughter, which made Charlie just slightly confused. "I am sorry about all of this."

Vaggie, for her part, looked at Charlie, then back at Lucifer. "What do you mean?"

"I did not wish to intrude in your conversation, or spy on it. I know this is a hard time not only for Charlie, but for you too. I know Charlie is angry, with good reason too." Lucifer began with a gentle, but still firm tone.

This was something Lucifer made sure to clear first and foremost. Charlie could understand; Lucifer had been on Vaggie's shoes before, only his situation had been harsher. But, as he was clearly hinting at, this did not mean that lying had been the best way to go about things.

"Believe me when I say I would've tried to help you out, had I known about this. But Heaven makes sure I can barely keep track of the Exorcists when they come. Exterminations 'go by smoothly' if I don't have my own powers messing up their communications and the like." Charlie didn't know that, and she was thankful her father told her something new and, surprisingly, far less soul wrenching than the previous information. Still, to think many things would've been solved, or made easier, if he wasn't limited by Heaven in his own home. "And while I think it wasn't exactly smart to keep quiet about it all, I will not judge you for it. More than that: I know you did not sign up for a relationship with this much baggage."

Vaggie made a face, but while she was focused on Lucifer she did throw a look at Charlie's way. "Lucifer. I know I messed up. I will… I will try to make up for it as best as I can. But I do not think being with Charlie has any kind of baggage to worry abo-."

"Not being able to have children with her is no baggage?" Lucifer cut with a scatingly cold tone. "Think about it: I told you that it could be possible and also that doing so will only end in tragedy, no matter which one of you is the father or the mother."

"..." Vaggie had no answer, none that she wished to share. "It… It hurts, yes."

"How about the very real need of adding more lovers if you ever want children?" Lucifer was clearly not going to stop. Charlie herself found no way to tell her father to stop. These questions had been on the back of her mind and now they were out in the open as he asked them. "Lilith and I had fun around, and there was only one woman we may have invited to join us… But how about you two?"

Vaggie looked at Charlie. Charlie looked at Vaggie. Both of them knew they had no answer for this. The mere idea had never crossed their minds. They had been more than love drunk on each other since they officially got together.

Had Charlie even looked at someone else? She was ashamed to say this, but it was also a very real truth: Charlie had a ginormous libido. While Lilith was no real succubus or demon, despite what many said, she was, technically, imbued by Lust in Hell. Even without the details that Charlie WANTED TO NEVER, EVER, know about, she was aware that her mother was very close to uncle Ozzie just by their connection to Asmodeus' realm.

Simply put: Charlie had wandering eyes. She was not a sexual deviant (well, she had her moments and kinks, everyone did), and she would never go behind any of her lovers' backs, but looking is free.

That, for Charlie, was being more than daring enough.

But looking at someone with the desire to make them part of what she had with Vaggie? Or what Charlie had enjoyed with past lovers? She… didn't know if that had ever happened. Perhaps she had tried to bury the desire? Charlie was unsure.

What a day it was. Now she needed to contemplate that very idea, and not just for perverse reasons, but because her own grandfather had made things…

Complicated.

"That is…" Vaggie found her voice long before Charlie did. "It will be a…" Though she clearly couldn't say what she wanted to say. Charlie saw that Vaggie was just unable to. "I… don't know."

"Look." Lucifer offered a very gentle tone and expression on his face, trying to placate Vaggie, but also Charlie. It wouldn't be a lie to say that Charlie was, at this point, growing agitated. "I would've told both of you about this earlier. Perhaps not the whole shebang, no. Goodness no. This is a mess." An awkward smile crossed Lucifer's face. He didn't like being this serious this long, Charlie knew, but, well, you know. Shit happens, aparently. "And things have gotten a bit dicey too. Still, now that I have the chance I AM sharing this. Besides, from what little I have gotten to know about you, you ARE devoted to my daughter."

Vaggie took another second to look Charlie's way. This time Charlie did offer a hopeful, but not all there smile. She was aware of how this all could change things. Fuck, it *was* going to change things. At least unless God Himself took a step back and undid this mess.

Charlie wouldn't bet on that one.

Her dad sure as fuck didn't help when he spoke again. "But it is that devotion that could make you leave."

"I-what?" Both Vaggie and Charlie were confused at this, but Vaggie had been quicker to react. "Why? I mean, I know all of this is a bit too much, I may need to think for a bit, to clear my head and…"

"That is not it, Vagatha." The name made Vaggie cringe away from Lucifer with a frown on her face. Apparently the reaction was exactly what Lucifer was hoping for. "There are two points of contention in your relationship right now, my dear. On one side you have your own self hate; you dislike the woman you were and what your name ended up being tied to. I can understand that, respect it even. Sometimes the past is just too much. But do you really think you deserve a second chance yourself… if you can't forgive your own actions?"

Vaggie opened her mouth to answer, clearly determined. Only for her to clamp down a moment after. She couldn't bring herself to say that she would. Charlie had seen just how much hurt Vaggie carried, so this was not a surprise. It hurt to see Vaggie doubting herself so much, but unlike those in her hotel, Charlie wasn't really sure how to help Vaggie.

Bringing some innocence, harmless fun and simple trust exercises for those that had lost all of that and then some? A good start, a strong start for her current 'patients'. But it would not do anything for Vaggie.

"Let's ignore that for now." Lucifer offered the other side of this conundrum. One Charlie hadn't thought of until now. "Because the other problem is my daughter." And when he said it that way Charlie could do little more than emulate Vaggie and shy away from her father's gaze. "Honey. Will you read that book?"

Charlie looked back at the book in her hands. There was still a part of her that wanted to just shred it. It emanated a lot of grief, it had things she didn't really want to know about.

But a part of her wanted to see what was hidden underneath. It did pose a question, though: Would she remain the same afterwards?

"I… suppose I should." Charlie looked over the unassuming cover. It was as if her father had made this diary, or whatever it was, unassuming to the point of being unappealing for whoever could gaze upon it. He had good reasons, she was sure. "I don't know if I want to."

"I understand. What is inside is…" Lucifer grimaced. Clearly there were things Charlie wouldn't like in there, she needed no hints to know that. "Unpleasant." Though that made her want to deadpan 'no shit' to her dad. "That is not what worries me. What worries me is that, after you read it, you may come to a decision: That your Grandfather deserves anything that comes his way."

"Doesn't He?" Surprisingly, it wasn't Charlie, but Vaggie, the one to say what Charlie thought. With the scorn in her eyes Charlie would've thought the one to lose so much was Vaggie and not Lucifer, or Charlie. "Because, excuse me here, He sounds like the biggest piece of shit in existence. Ironic, I know."

Charlie almost bit her tone, but she was quick to agree with Vaggie. "She is right, dad." Much as she would've loved otherwise, Vaggie was not wrong. "Grandpa did… did horrible things. Having this in my hands, knowing what He did. It is… It is just too much."

Before Charlie could say anything else another voice interrupted her. "How do you think I feel?"

Charlie flinched and Vaggie pushed her seat away. For a moment Lucifer had looked like… something else. It was very rare for him to show any of the traits that Hell bestowed upon him, or to allow his voice to reverberate like a cacophonous and discordant catastrophe. Whenever Lucifer had shown the full extent of his changes after his fall from Heaven, something, or someone, had died.

Or a chunk of Hell had been unmade.

It spoke about his self control too. Lucifer had either calmed, or at least hid, his anger in the blink of an eye. Not enough to allow the mask to stay and show nothing, but enough for Charlie to just see a glimpse and nothing more. Simply thinking about the damage that could be done to this place if her dad lost it… Charlie shuddered at the thought. She'd be fine, but everyone else wouldn't be so lucky, not even Vaggie, Charlie was sure of it.

"Charlie. There is almost no one in Heaven I would ever like to see again. I want that to be clear. There are very few, precious people I'd love to see once more but… I doubt they have stayed the same. I have changed too, so who knows." Lucifer had pushed any negative emotions away, at least enough to talk calmly.

Heaven talk was never 'calm', though.

Charlie remembered many tales of what her dad was fond of. She remembered many tales and stories her father had shared so many years ago. She loved going to sleep with some of his wacky little interpretations.

Looking back to those days, her dad always hid a hint of sadness there. Perhaps he hid more than that. It was likely that many of his tales had been at least altered to be happier. Or perhaps they hadn't? She remembered seeing her dad's smile turn into a frown in the corner of her eyes so many times.

Now he was just stoic as he could while he told her the obvious. "I would've loved to deck Dad at some point, Charlie. And only 'deck', because I doubt I could get more than that." And, His son or not, saying you want to punch God in the face was never a truer statement than what Charlie heard from her father. "Michael is a dick and-." Lucifer took a deep breath. "No, let's not get sidetracked. Point is: I have suffered a lot because of God's direct actions towards me. He already knew that I was going to do very specific things. He made sure to stay uninvolved with everything; Heaven, Earth, Hell. Instead He allowed His children and His angelic creations to rule things. And after so long it seems no one ever knows how it is supposed to work, or they have forgotten. I don't care." And he may very well not, but Charlie knew this was infuriating him for many reasons.

And yet, despite the clear anger bubbling inside, Lucifer kept his cool as best as he could. "But you haven't gone through all of this, Charlie. You have seen humanity's worst like I have. Yes, not for as long as I have, but even then you have seen a LOT of shit. Much as I tried to shelter you from it all you always found a way." Which, come to think of it, Charlie shouldn't have done. She regretted a lot of it (and her face right now told Vaggie all she needed to know when the latina turned her head to watch Charlie's reaction), but back then she had a very long rebellious teenage phase. "Despite all the horrid things you saw you still wanted to help Sinners. You wanted to do as your mother did. As such, this book means more than you may think."

A book that Charlie so wanted to trash. It was the antithesis to all she hoped and believed in. It was a testament to meticulous, planned and perfectly performed cruelty and violence.

And her dad wanted her to read it? A book where all of his suffering and the vitriol directed at Heaven was located?

Charlie just didn't know if she could.

"You want her to FORGIVE God?" Vaggie sounded incredulous. "How… how could she ever do that? How could anyone?"

"I don't want her to forgive. I don't want her to hate." Lucifer corrected with a pointed glare. "I want Charlie to decide for herself what she truly believes in. And that book?" Lucifer looked at Charlie's hands as she tried to decide if she wanted to let go of the thing or not. "That book is important for this."

Charlie tried to wet her lips. She was feeling nausea. Something was squeezing her chest, lungs and heart. "Dad. I-I don't know…"

"Charlie." Lucifer got up and walked to his daughter. Both hands took Charlie's own, the book slipping to the ground without a sound. "Vaggie is not the only one that has to come to terms with things. I don't want to be condescending, much less an asshole, but this needs to be said: It is time to stop playing games. I don't want you to change, don't think I do: What I want is for you to be honest with yourself." Charlie looked down, at the book, then at Vaggie and, finally, her father again as his sad expression betrayed how little he wanted to be in this position. "Will you still hold that belief of yours? Can you really give everyone a chance at redemption? Will you think some are beyond saving? Or may you just outright ignore those that commit certain crimes and abuses?"

"..." Charlie couldn't breathe. The nausea was getting worse.

"I know I have put you in a difficult position, Charlie." Lucifer gave Charlie's hands a light squeeze. "I know this is not fair. Nothing of this is fair. You shouldn't have to fight for the world to be a better place; everyone should make an effort to. That is one of the main reasons I fell into that period of ennui. Your mother tried to help everyone, but she paced herself. I tried to do everything at once, and much like you… I found out that so few cared."

Vaggie got up from her own seat. "Charlie is still trying." She didn't come closer, but it was clear she wanted to. There were still so many doubts in her mind, and now this. "I… No matter what, I don't plan on going anywhere. If it ends with me just being there to help, so be it. But I won't leave."

That Vaggie still had her back gave Charlie strength. "I won't stop." She said, even if her voice cracked a bit. There was conviction there, but also trepidation. "It… It is going to be hard. But now I also have people in Heaven that know of this. Soon Earth will too. There will be a huge movement to make things right. And even if not all of them can be fixed." Charlie couldn't help but look at the book on the floor. "I will do the best I can for everyone."

Lucifer stared at her for a moment, giving Vaggie glances that made the ex Exterminator flinch the first time. It felt like a minute went by before Lucifer offered a small, proud smile to Charlie.

"I am happy to hear that, honey." He went ahead and hugged his daughter. Charlie could feel the love there, but also the strength. It was almost too much. It felt as if Lucifer was afraid of… She didn't want to think about it. "Just… I never wanted to lay all of this on you, Charlie, not like this. I had never thought what my Dad did would come to hurt you too. I thought your plans would…" Lucifer let out a defeated sigh before he broke the hug. "I never wanted to hurt you or push you away. I already told you part of the reason why I didn't want you involved in this. Now you have it in full. And now that absolutely everyone either knows, or will know, about the Extermination and how this mess of an afterlife works?"

"It is a lot. I know you tried to help me, dad. Perhaps not in the best way, but, well, we are all a mess." Charlie knew her own smile was crooked and the pressure was obvious on her face. "All of this is-it all feels so much more now. I thought I was dreaming big, but now I know so many things that make me feel so small. Heck I am going to have so many eyes that just don't think I am stupid, or weak, or just a pushover born with a silver spoon in my mouth. It feels as if what I once wanted has grown out of control and I am having the weight of the world forced on my shoulders"

Charlie gulped. She knew she was going to end up hurling. All of this was too much. She only hoped she'd be alone for that. She did NOT want to be alone, not now, but she knew she was going to break soon. Privacy was a must. She couldn't do this in front of anyone, not now.

"I… I am thankful for everything. Both of you." Even then, Charlie longed. She wanted Vaggie to remain. Charlie looked at her girlfriend, and while Vaggie smiled at her, it was clear that she did want to give each other space. Now more than ever. They both had much to think about. "And I won't let either of you down. I just… I think I will need time alone here and there." Having her father nod in confirmation told her she had done right. Sometimes, much as support is great, much as it helps, you need time to filter your thoughts. "But this won't make me back down dad, Vaggie." Her attention was drawn to the book again. She didn't want to touch it. "Even if some parts may be… may be harder than others."

Lucifer hugged his daughter again, making Charlie let out a little squeak. This brought a much needed chuckle out of Vaggie, some levity to this scene. The hug made Charlie's already precarious situation worse, but she welcomed it nonetheless.

"I am still sorry about this." Lucifer relented the moment Charlie felt about to lose it, thankfully. He still had that proud smile as he backed away, making Charlie willing to endure the discomfort for another hug, or anything her father wanted. "I did not want you to feel this, Charlie. The… weight, that is leading. It is…" He sighed, the smile waning slightly. "It is hard, real hard. Not saying your attempts at helping weren't. You had a lot of opposition and you persevered. But now everything is accelerating and my attempts at allowing you more time to enjoy life, away from this mess, won't shield you anymore."

Charlie was about to try and reach for her father, but Lucifer opened a portal before she could. "I won't keep you two anymore. It is more than late enough and I know both of you need time to think a few things through. And Charlie?" He pointed at her feet, lifted the book with his magic and inside Charlie's cupboard. "I am sorry for handing you that weight in particular. But… I really think you should check it out before I leave all this to you." His smile was still sad, still there, and Charlie was sure that Lucifer was about to cry. Perhaps that is why he was leaving now. It would be too much for her too if her dad's emotions broke through. "Don't forget about it, but don't rush. When the time is right, check it out. It will be painful, but you'll see what I once went through, what I thought. I hope it will help you choose what path you want to take."

"Thanks-" Charlie just managed one word before her father crossed the portal, clearly in urgent need of some time of his own. "-dad…"

"Charlie…"

Vaggie was still there of course, and looking at Charlie as if the young Princess of Hell was about to bawl her eyes out. Or perhaps trash the place? Charlie thought both things were possible.

Vaggie chose an interesting topic to pull her away from such thoughts.

"Do you… do you really think I would've tried to hurt you?"

Because of course self doubt and a lot of hate wouldn't leave Vaggie's mind.

"Vaggie… why-?"

"I wasn't lying when I said I won't leave. But I need you to answer, please."

The latina wanted to make her point. It had to be short and concise. They both were tired and, yes, she didn't look much better than Lucifer. However, unlike Lucifer, it wasn't sorrow that overwhelmed Vaggie.

Charlie opted to be sincere. "No." Concise. "You are not THAT Vaggie."

"Char-"

"Dad said there are other versions of ourselves, right? Well, are you them, or are you MY Vaggie?"

Charlie took a step towards Vaggie. Her girlfriend almost moved away, but when, finally, Charlie took Vaggie's hands, she allowed it. Charlie had been at first so angry (and some of that fire was still there), then so worried that Vaggie would leave, or lash out in disgust at herself more than anything else, that she hadn't wanted to risk it.

Charlie knew Vaggie didn't want to hurt her, or attack her. She knew that, if it ever happened, it would be because she wasn't in control. Vaggie could be many things, but she was not someone to attack someone for no reason, without purpose, or just to hurt them.

Not anymore. She was no longer in the position that made her a spiteful woman. It was just very difficult to let go of one's anger and past.

That, and as this talk had conveyed clearly enough, this was the Vaggie Charlie knew. She had kept secrets, yes. It hurt a lot. But she came clean. She came clean and stayed with her, begged Charlie almost. And, at the same time, Vaggie was willing to accept whatever Charlie decided for their future to be.

"I… don't want to be away from you. I will not lie, that anger is still there. It… it is irrational, I think. Just the feeling of betrayal, okay? I don't *want* to be angry, Vaggie. And yes, you explained it to me, but having three years to come to terms, to see that I was going to be there with you no matter what, should've been enough for you to tell me." Charlie knew this would bring some of the hurt back, but she pulled Vaggie close when her girlfriend tried to move away. "That is not to say I thought you'd hurt me, Vaggie. While you didn't tell me everything, while you shied away from sharing, I knew much of you. But it hurts that you lied. I feared you wouldn't tell me. I feared you'd try to escape because there was shame and fear of my reaction. And considering how I exploded on you? It was…somewhat warranted. But you knew it would never reach the point of me telling you to never approach me again, not unless you truly did something bad to me."

"..." Charlie saw her girlfriend was ashamed. That fear that ate at her had been as strong as the hate that the ex Exorcist felt for herself. "I should've told you as soon as I learned the truth of how nice you are, Charlie. It would've made everything simpler. Perhaps that way I would've pushed you a little harder to connect with your dad, to do so many things I never felt was right to ever suggest. I wanted you to be right, to be there for you and protect you. Part of that feeling translated into a simple belief: Telling you about my baggage would only hurt and hinder you."

Charlie thought about that. Would Vaggie's story have been too much?

…

Perhaps. In a way this night as a whole had been too much. The whole day. At one time she would've loved going to Earth and meeting her first human. Instead…

Instead such a trip and meeting had been the most stress inducing and brutal dressing down events of her life.

As such this heart to heart, and her father's reveal, had been a fitting scaling event. That is to say: Everything went harder and harder and damn harder.

Charlie from a few years ago would've taken the news of Heaven being full of hypocritical xenophobes (at least in certain positions of power) to be discouraging enough to perhaps give up on her attempts. In a way… perhaps it had been better for Vaggie to keep quiet.

It still hurt, though. A lot.

"I am not going to lie. You are probably right." Charlie's admission made Vaggie look at her with surprise. "In a way it was good to wait. In another it was a bad idea. But what is done is done, Vaggie. We will move on from this, only with…" Charlie grimaced, her father's words coming back to her. "With new hurdles."

Vaggie understood quickly. This darkened her mood, and Charlie couldn't fault her. So many plans for the future had to, at the very least, be revised now.

Some could very well cleave a deeper wedge between them.

Charlie hoped that wouldn't happen, but if she was to have a particular duty to fulfill in the future, she did not want to make Vaggie miserable in a relationship that was meant to change. A change that was likely going to be impossible to balance.

It didn't surprise Charlie that Vaggie took her hands away. Gently, yes, and with care, but Vaggie was the first to break contact.

"We will work through it all, hon." At least Vaggie offered a smile. It was slightly forced, sad, but also hopeful. "Who knows? Perhaps… Perhaps it will be a chance to make up for past mistakes?"

"I am sure it will, Vaggie." Charlie pursed her lips as she looked down. She didn't want to let go. "... Are you still going to leave?"

Vaggie seemed conflicted, but she nodded. "Do you think either of us can think about this if we stay here, together?"

Charlie's expression fell some more. No, no she couldn't. She could see herself trying to console Vaggie from the outburst before, Vaggie telling her all would be okay. Charlie could see some cuddling, a lot of crying, and she could also see Vaggie's own nervous breakdown the moment Charlie burst into the bathroom to let it all out.

It was so fucking tempting to ask her to stay. But it wouldn't be fair for either of them. Both of them needed time to clear their heads and THINK what was the right thing to do.

Neither would abandon the other, but they needed to know where they wanted to stand in all of this. Charlie knew they had never talked about this, but she had always wanted children. It just came naturally. She idolized her mother, and she hoped to be just as good a parent.

But what about Vaggie?

Until now Charlie hadn't known just how nervous the idea of children made her. To think it was a child Sinner that made her stop, and that Vaggie thought she'd have trouble with them if she had to take care of them… She wasn't sure if having children had even crossed Vaggie's mind. For all Charlie knew she had expected to never bother with it, perhaps have her parents give her a little sister or brother and she would just go do her own thing.

Of course that didn't work out. Charlie also didn't think it prudent to ask. Considering the bomb Charlie's father dropped at their feet, this was now one of the touchiest subjects here. They'd need a third party at least and…

And then we had the book. That… that thing. It was the one topic she was willing to let lie for a while.

A lot of things to think about, yeah.

"I'd like to say yes." Charlie finally broke a much more open and sincere smile. "But I think we know each other's character well enough. I will start to worry beyond belief, you'll try to calm me down, we'll go on a tangent, self doubt from either of us, cuddling or talking or whatever to get those bad thoughts away, plus tonight's argument will probably make it worse on your end…"

"Yeah, that last part is not going to make it much better." Vaggie did smile back, but it was clear there was more than enough hurt in there. "I have my thoughts to clear, and things I need to come to terms with. I… don't think I'll do that in just one night. Much as I'd love to stay too, we are going to distract each other."

Charlie took Vaggie by surprise by finally giving her a hug. They had gone without one the whole day. This much, at least, she needed. Charlie knew they BOTH needed it.

"Don't beat yourself too hard, okay? I may still be pissed… a bit, but just… just don't. We all make mistakes and you came clean with them. Late, true, but you did." When Charlie broke the hug she also landed a kiss on Vaggie's forehead. If she did so on the lips Charlie knew she wouldn't let go of her girlfriend tonight. "And… and if you need anything…"

"I know." Vaggie looked at Charlie with longing, but she hadn't lied, and both knew she was right. "I'll… I'll see you tomorrow, unless something happens, okay?"

Charlie saw Vaggie doubt for a second, then turn around and walk away. All she managed to say was a soft "Yeah…" before the door opened and closed, leaving her alone and with a simple "... good night." dying on her lips.

Charlie managed to stay there, still, for just a second or two. Tears began to fill her eyes no soon after, sobs barely contained as she began to tremble. Today had been incredible in one way, a shitshow on another, and far too much for her in so many others.

But there was hope. Even as Charlie felt all her composure leave her and the barriers she had erected crumble, Charlie felt hope.

She also felt everything else that had been hitting her hard. Anxiety, fear, doubt, anger, a good chunk of despair and every other emotion that had been wrecking her stomach. With tears in her eyes Charlie broke into her room's bathroom, barely reaching it in time.

Purging made her feel somewhat better, but it took a godawful half an hour. After that? Clarity.

It was not a pleasant form of clarity, because of course it wasn't. Charlie found herself on the bathroom's tiled floor, resting with her back against the door and looking at nothingness. Her mind had quickly gone to many places at once, finally doing all it could without pure hope and happy thoughts guiding it.

Charlie was determined. Even as so many doubts still fought her, she knew she could do it. She just needed patience, a bit of time and no more fucking around. Would she still try to make things 'bearable' in her own way? Yes, mostly. She couldn't stop being herself even if she tried, and leaving her songs and happiness to the side would bring… something else to the forefront. Charlie didn't want that version of herself to see the light of day if she could avoid it.

But she'd be more serious about all of this. There were no second chances here: Either she made progress, or Extermination would stop being something that inconvenienced many and killed a few, instead turning into the literal definition, if not downright pure industrial scale genocide.

Charlie would do this. There were new hurdles on the way, and… and she needed to prepare for the time she'd be Queen of Hell now, but she could do it.

It took her a long time to finally take a deep breath through her nose as she decided to get up.

It almost made her gag.

"... I smell like tears and vomit." She said to herself with a groan. Charlie had been there for far too long.

Before she started to get her shit together she needed something: A shower.

That always calmed her nerves. Perhaps a bit of a distraction for a while? Charlie couldn't help but think how Emily was doing now. Of everyone involved, she was likely the second most affected.

Perhaps she'd take a moment or two to talk with her after the day Sarah asked for was done with. Emily's cheerfulness was like Charlie's own, maybe, together, they could make sure each other kept smiling.

Because if Charlie's smile died, then she wasn't sure if that other side of her would seize the chance.