American Banker Wars Episode II

by InsignificantNormie

Trollfic about what if George Lucas wrote real life American politics. This fanfic's purpose is to criticize Lucas' false liberal belief that Democrat presidency equals peaceful and that only Republicans are pro-war, while ignoring Democrat presidents' and politicians' war crimes. Also Qui-Gon is alive in this fanfic.

1. Terrorist Attack In Washington, DC

A long time ago in an aristocracy near, near us….

AMERICAN BANKER WARS

Episode II

ATTACK OF THE EVIL BUSH-VOTING

U.S. SOLDIERS

There is unrest in the United States.

Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran,

and other Middle East Countries

threaten to leave the United Nations.

This anti-Western/American imperialism

movement, under the leadership of the mysterious

Count Bill Gates, has made it difficult

for the limited number of Jedi Knights

to maintain Western/American supremacy

in the galaxy.

Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Israel,

is returning to the United States Congress

to vote on the critical issue of creating more

good, Democrat, and liberal U.S. soldiers

(and not evil, Republic, and conservative

U.S. soldiers) to assist the overwhelming Jedi.

Chapter 1: Terrorist Attack In Washington, D.C.

A big, shiny ship is flying to Washington, D.C. on a foggy day. The former "Queen" of Israel is inside that ship, and now the ship lands on a floating platform. Also landing on that floating platform are Israeli starfighters, piloting one of them is a disguised Padme, the real former Queen of Israel and now Senator, with R2-D2 as her co-pilot. The disguised Senator then walked up to her new bodyguard, Gregar Typho.

Typho said to Padme, "I guess I was wrong, there was no danger at all."

Suddenly the big royal starship explodes just as the fake Senator and her bodyguards were stepping out. One of the shrapnel hits Padme's head, slicing half her head off from the rest of her body.

R2-D2 saw Padme's corpse and let out some said beeps.

"No! Padme's vote was important to stopping the Military Creation Act!" Typho said.

R2 asks Typho what is the Military Creation Act.

"Oh, it's a bill that gives the Israeli government five quadrillion U.S. tax dollars instead of the usual four quadrillion," Typho answered.

R2 then asks Typho how Padme's vote could've stopped that act.

"Senator Amidala's vote could've been the deciding vote to stop the act from passing," Typho siad.

R2 then beeps out on how that doesn't make any sense because senators can only vote on bills and that bills become acts after the President signs them.

"The people that killed Senator Amidala are a bunch of mindless, fundamentalist terrorists R2. They're completely unreasonable."

R2 asks Typho why would Muslim terrorists kill a senator that wants to give Israel's military less money.

"Wow, I honestly don't know how to answer that."

R2 then says that President Valorum can strike down the Military Creation Act even if it got the majority of the Senate's votes.

"Huh, you're right, Senator Amidala and her decoy died for nothing!"