Chapter 18: Bloodlust

Bree closed her eyes in concentration. She and Fred had tried to force her gift to make her visible for three whole hours. They had been the most frustrating, gut-wrenching hours she had experienced. At first, she had not been too irritated about being invisible, but as time went on, she slowly started to get ticked off. Was her special ability a curse?

Her loud tortuous snarl rang out in the forest. She heard terrified squeaks as animals withdrew further from the two immortals.

This was useless.

If her gift was this stubborn and did not let her control it, why bother trying anymore? She was wasting both her and her friend's time by constantly failing in her attempts to gain some control over her frustrating power.

"I'm done," she hissed, opening her angry dark eyes.

Fred didn't seem happy about her words. "You need to try. We need to tame your gift, as silly as it sounds. Or do you prefer being invisible forever?"

The newborn bit her lip. She raised her head to look at the sky, too fed up to answer. The only positive thing she was waiting for was the sun. It would soon grace them with its presence. She couldn't wait to see it.

The morning looked to be partially cloudy. Dozens of clouds moved peacefully on the blue horizon, their fluffy edges pushing themselves forward, eagerly waiting for the sun to rise. It was cute how happy they seemed, regardless of their not actually being living creatures. If the young teen would have wanted to be something in the sky, being a cloud looked the coolest. She would get to travel to so many different places and make people occasionally curse at her when she peed on them. The perfect imaginary cheered her up enough for a chuckle to come from her mouth.

"What?" Fred asked. He frowned.

"Nothing," she said. There was no way she was going to mention her little fantasy of peeing on humans as a cloud. It would make her friend think she had fully lost her mind.

Bright rays from the bottom of the sky made her perk up. The sun. She was able to see its gentle outline. It was finally here. She was free to stop her exercise. Its presence meant she could get a good excuse to stop practising her invisibility. She and Fred had to, after all, go somewhere where mortals couldn't spot two glittering beings. They didn't want to end up in a news article.

A gust of wind swept across the vampires. It smelled oddly delicious. Way too tasty to just carry a bunch of mostly odourless air. Her body went rigid as her muscles tensed up. It tasted so mouth-watering.

Her mind felt foggy from bloodlust, getting ready to make her unable to follow her mind's reason. She felt herself slipping to it, not able to resist the lure of her predatory instincts. They told her to let them take control—to let her succumb to them. She was not strong enough to stop it from happening, so she did.

Her feet led her towards the inviting scent as her throat lit up with fire. Its painful flicker of flames urged her to move quicker. Her legs took stronger pushes. She had to sate the blazing throat. Immediately.

The destination of the amazing flavour came to sight. It was a human. Its pumping juicy heart bounced joyfully, not anticipating the danger coming closer.

With a growl, the brown-haired girl attacked it. She heard a shriek as the creature felt her cold touch. But it was way too late to make the useless sound. The female was hers.

Her teeth sank into her victim's neck eagerly. The hot fresh blood pumped to her mouth, causing her to purr with delight. She was in heaven. The taste of the red liquid embraced her insides, flowing freely into her stomach. She never wanted to leave the source of her relief.

The extinguisher of her throat let out a sharp whine before falling limb. The female was dead.

She didn't like how fast the mammal had drained out of the mouth-watering substance. She didn't want her hunt to be over yet. She wanted more blood. A feral hiss escaped from her lips.

She tried to push her teeth deeper into the mortal's flesh in her frenzy. When more blood didn't flow into her mouth, she growled, frustrated. Her hands crushed the cooling body's bones, making them crack under the pressure. A sick snap split the air as they shattered.

The sound woke her up. Her wide, bright red eyes went to the dead female. She stared at her victim, terror evident in her gaze. There was something eerily familiar about the mammal. She couldn't at first figure out what, but as her brain pondered it, realisation slapped her in the face.

She hardly remembered the woman's appearance, but in a quick flash, she got a fleeting memory of her mother singing a lullaby. The creature's facial structure and brown eyes reminded her chillingly of her old caretaker. But she was dead. She couldn't have been alive. Her father had-.

Bree let out a sob as sharp pain stabbed her chest. She-. Her father had buried her mother's body. The police had found it. There was no possibility that this could have been her mother.

She looked at her now-visible marble-like fingers, which were coated in the blood of her victim. Suddenly, she felt disgusted by them. The mere thought of having her mother's blood inside her stomach made her feel ill.

The second sob broke to surface from her chest. What if the being was really her mother? What if she had killed her? Perhaps she had escaped. She played with the idea as her lips quivered.

No, it wasn't realistic. The officers had identified her mother's buried body in the news and confirmed it was indeed her's.

The sinking sadness nevertheless continued in her chest, pressuring it mercilessly. She wallowed in it for a while. Not able to pull away. It stuck to her like glue, bringing new flashes of her toddlerhood's forgotten memories of her mother forward. She weeped, curling into a ball.

After a while, a scream stole her attention. "Mommy!" A small child stood shocked behind her. Her shivering form was carrying a stack of sticks. Tears swelled in the seven-year-old's eyes as she saw her dead mother and began to cry.

The teen's bloodlust returned with a rush, her sadness forgotten by its overpowering strength. She jumped on the young child, forcing the small beings' brown sticks to spread to the ground as she fell screeching against the grass.

She finished the creature off faster than she had drained the adult. The child hadn't contained as much blood in its veins.

As her mind cleared again, the newborn took five staggering steps away from her victims. She continued staring at them, terrified of what she'd done. She had never killed a child before.

Her knees fell against the ground. She should have run as soon as she had murdered the mother. Realised that someone else could have been with her in the forest. Most humans didn't tend to go to forests alone.

She sat on the grass, tracing her left hand's fingers with her other hand. Her eyelids closed. She should have controlled herself better. Or fed before she had gotten as thirsty as she had been for the last four hours. It had been a dumb move to not do so, completely idiotic. Her actions had cost the lives of a mother and a daughter.

Steps from a distance alerted her to someone approaching. She didn't bother to look in the noise's way and instead placed her head to rest on her knees. She hugged her legs, holding them as if she were nurturing them.

Her outfit had to look quite dirty and bloody at this point. She probably looked homeless. Which she was, but it didn't mean she wanted to go around with ragged clothes.

Fred appeared next to her, crouching down on her level. "You finally fed."

"Yeah."

"Did it taste good?" The curly-haired vampire asked carefully. He seemed to pick up her mood and sat properly on the grass, relaxing his stance. "You're sad?"

"I guess," she answered, directing her words to both of her friend's questions.

The boy tilted his head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Oh. That's fine. If you don't want to, we can just sit silently," he nodded.

Bree gave him a short appreciative glance. "Thank you."

The silence stretched between them until Fred spoke again. "So, do you want to come bury the humans? We need to hide them. I can do it alone if you want, but even so, it needs to be done soon. Other mortals can't find them."

The girl shrugged. "No, thank you."

"If you're sad about those humans, you shouldn't be. They are mortals, and would have ended up dead in a couple decades anyway. I would understand if you'd known them in your human life, but I doubt you did." The blond boy pointed out. He stood up, adding, "They are just food, remember?"

She buried her head harder against her knees, feeling the weight of what she'd done again. Her friend didn't, of course, understand her. A prick pierced through her heart. Why would he have? She let out a sob as a new jolt of pain travelled through her.

"You're being very silly. They were just humans." Fred tried to comfort her unsuccessfully. "Now when you have finally fed properly again, it will take no time until you are back to your old self and won't feel guilt from drinking from the mortals."

She looked at her friend in the middle of a weep. She couldn't. She just-. Before she registered what she had done, her legs carried themselves away from her friend. They whisked her away deeper into the forest—to where the sun's rays couldn't reach because of the thick tree leaves.

She needed to be alone.

As the sun attempted to push itself through the leaf canopy, it created spots on the forest floor. Nature sang around Bree, unaware of the turmoil she was feeling.

She had climbed up a huge tree. Its sturdy trunk was the biggest and most spine-chilling thing she had laid her eyes on. It had to be old. Very old. No such tree could be a young one. She wondered briefly how old it was. Was it hundreds of years? Or decades? She couldn't recall how old trees would be able to get before they died.

Perhaps she could grow her own tree somewhere. Go take care of it as centuries passed if she wouldn't die unexpectedly. It could be lovely. She would get a new friend for herself and live in harmony with it. Maybe it would let her live on its branches.

She smiled, but let the expression stop as her thought got redirected to the two humans she had killed.

Her unbeating heart was wretched. It felt sore from the hours she had sat alone. Fred had not come to search for her. As awareness of the situation had struck her, she figured out he didn't want to be her friend anymore. Why else would he have abandoned her like that? He truly had had enough of her depressing, anxiety-driven life and left her on her own.

She was friendless yet again. Her human life seemed keen on recreating itself in her vampire life. The lonely years of it filled her mind, full of images of her hanging out alone. What was the point of living if everyone around you disliked you?

Her blood-stained clothes rubbed against the wood as she turned to sit in a different position. The tree, at least, hadn't shooed her away.

A sob escaped from her chest. She felt so utterly alone and sad. Her worsening regret over killing the mother-daughter duo jumped onward. They had doubtlessly gone on a camping trip. For their horrible luck, it had ended very bloody.

The newborn shuddered. She hoped they were happy wherever they went. Hopefully they had stopped existing and were peacefully in thoughtless darkness. It sounded comforting to her.

The tree's leaves swayed, tickling her cheeks as they brushed across her face briefly. She shielded herself from them, placing her hands in front of her face. She had no intention of letting the tree touch her like it wanted. She wanted to wallow in peace without getting interrupted.

One of the mortals had reminded her too much of her mother. She was still shaken from seeing it. It was a mystery why the female was so eerily similar to her biological mother. Was it a prank from fate? Did it want to torture her?

And then there was the innocent seven-year-old. The poor child had died by her disgusting hands. She got rid of its life, like it had meant nothing to her. She'd never imagined that she'd murder a child.

The sunlight glittered on her skin as she hid in the canopy of the tree. Her skin's sparkles hopped joyfully around, reflecting themselves into the wood and the leaves.

The young teen had no idea what to do anymore. She didn't want to go searching for Fred. He could get bothered by her whines. She felt like a burden to her possibly former friend. What type of immortal was she if she wasn't able to kill humans anymore? She was supposed to be the apex predator—the creature that feasted on humans. But apparently her brain did not like the idea anymore. It couldn't handle the thought of hurting humans, especially if they looked anything like her mother.

She was a pathetic excuse for a vampire.

Hardly surprisingly, Fred might have caught on to that and ditched her. He would probably be better off without her. Free to be a real vampire, while she rotted on her spot and slowly lost her mind.

She hoped he'd have a good life.

Time ticked by as shadows became longer and the morning turned into the night. She sat still like a statue, not daring to move. That's what she deserved after what she'd done.

Crickets began their irritatingly familiar song. She didn't want to listen to them. Her brain wasn't in the right mood to enjoy the orchestra. So she jumped back to the grass, leaving the loyal tree behind.

Her shoes flattened the green plants as she started making her way through the forest. Crestfallen expression on her face, she walked onwards. There was no certain place she immediately wished to go. She could always decide where to go when she had taken her time and strolled in the forest.

The girl had unlimited time to choose where to travel.

However, faith seemed to have other plans for her. As she hiked beneath the stars, her nose caught a scent. It was worryingly familiar. She couldn't help but frown in confusion.

Fred. The curly-haired boy was, for unknown reasons, close by. She rushed behind a bush, not wanting him to notice her. Its sharp edges poked her when she settled inside of it, making sure she was hidden from sight.

The other immortal came to view. His eyes skimmed past the bush she was hiding in. "Bree? Are you here?"

Bree kept quiet. She didn't want to be found.

"I know you're here. Your scent is all over the place," the boy continued.

She closed her bright crimson eyes for a second.

"Look…I'm sorry if I came off as insensitive to your struggles. I don't really fully understand why you are acting so sad about killing humans, but I shouldn't have said what I said. I should have known better than that. You're allowed to feel gloomy if you want." Fred spoke. He gazed around, hope glimmering in his expression. When nothing happened, it dropped.

"Please, can we talk?"

The newborn didn't move. She avoided looking into the boy's eyes, afraid he would then be able to spot her. She needed to leave before he found out where she was hiding.

A gentle stab crushed her insides. It would be better for both of them. She would be a nuisance to him, unable to feed, and turn into a numb statue when killing humans. There would be no joy in being around her. She could always drink from the animals, but she felt bad about it too. They were almost worse to murder than the mortals. And on top of that, bad tasting.

She knew Fred was intelligent enough to leave her alone. Surely he saw they were better off separate. She could be a miserable weeping mess, while he was able to enjoy life filled with happiness and excitement.

They were too different to travel together. Her trauma would always return to her one way or another, causing her to turn into an anxious creature. She got scared even by a spider and hissed at it like it was planning to kill her. It wasn't normal. There was nothing ordinary about her.

It would drag her friend down if he joined her ridiculous behaviour of always being on alert, scared that someone could hurt her. She would forever have to look over her shoulders to ease her fear. She couldn't, with good conscience, damn the boy to live like that.

"Bree, I'm begging you," Fred pleaded.

The silence of the sixteen-year-old teen carried on. It steered clear of the desperate blond vampire, circling around him, demanding that he'd leave.

The moon shone down to the soil, studying the commotion happening below. Its round glowing shape started steadily going down to get closer to the two immortals. As its presence became fainter, Fred's features became full of anguish.

Bree hated to walk away from her old friend like this, but felt like she had no other choice but to do so. He was not realising the benefit of them separating. They'd both be glad. She knew it. Well, it would not possibly be the case for her, but she was ready to spend her time in spurts of misery. Her mind had made peace with it.

She closed her eyes, concentrating on her gift. She had decided what to do. Seeing Fred so distressed had made her realise it was better if she went somewhere he was not expecting her to go. Somewhere potentially dangerous, but necessary for him to never find her. She would need to, to her own displeasure, return to the Cullens and face the Volturi. If she died, her friend would never be able to reach her, and she could rest peacefully knowing he was going to be happy—not chained or dragged by her stupid, disturbed self.

Her body became invisible as she began to run. At last, her gift had obeyed her. Finally, having a destination in mind, she created distance between herself and her friend.