I ate supper at home, because Nancy was working late at the farm store, and Evan was eating with us. Clare had made tator tot casserole, and we

had salad and green beans to go with it. And Hannah's homemade rolls. I still didn't feel all that much like eating, though. I ate the salad and green beans,

but very little of the rest. I did feel a little better, simply because I knew I was going to be away for then night, hopefully having fun at the cabin. I hadn't gotten

to see Nancy much for the last couple of weeks, so I was looking forward to hanging out with her.

I was gathering up some of the photo projects that Nancy had been working on and had left at the house. Maybe we could do that for a while

tonight. Crane came thru to the living room while I was doing that, and I paused, feeling a little awkward.

Crane spoke to me like he always does. "Hey, peanut."

I felt relieved. He didn't seem upset.

As he headed over to his desk, I said hello back to him, and then finished gathering up the scrapbooks and envelopes of photos.

I hugged all that to my chest, and paused beside his desk, where he had gone to sit, rifling thru some bills, as though he was looking for

something in particular.

"I thought Nancy and I might work on this stuff for a while tonight," I said, trying to sound casual. I wasn't sure what he would think about

me not staying home for the night.

"Yeah?" Crane said, sounding mild. "That's good. It'd be nice to have all those pictures in one place."

"Yeah." I shifted the pile in my arms. "Adam said I could go up to Evan's tonight."

"He told me." Crane paused to look up at me., and I felt awkward again.

"Are you mad about it?" I asked, thinking that I sounded sort of plaintive. I really didn't want Crane to be upset.

"No. I'm not," he said.

"Okay," I said, and let out a breath.

"You need to get stuff done tomorrow," Crane said, sounding serious.

"I'm going to," I said.

"Okay," he said, with a nod.

He seemed mellow enough that I found myself asking him about something I hadn't planned to bring up so soon.

"If I buckle down all day tomorrow, can Kenny come over for a while tomorrow night?" I asked. "Or on Sunday?"

Crane looked pensive. More intense. "I don't think we'll relax things that much yet."

"Even if I work hard and get all my stuff done?" I said, pleading.

Crane laid down the papers he had in his hand. "What is this?" he asked, and now he sounded irritated. "You're grounded, Harlie. You have

really poor grades. It's not a negotiation."

I realized I'd pushed him too far, too fast. And, even though I knew that, I also felt my own irritation rise up.

"I know that," I said, and, even if I didn't say it with an attitude, exactly, it wasn't said all that sweet and accepting, either.

"What is it that you know, exactly?" he asked, still sounding put out.

"I know my grades are crap," I said. "I know I'm grounded."

Crane didn't miss my choice of words. Or the edge with which I said them.

"Alright, then," he said, picking up one of the envelopes on the desk, and standing up. Then he gave me his full-on gaze. "Don't start trying to

get out of the grounding until your grades are up. Way up."

"I wasn't trying to get out of anything," I said, feeling my temper flare. "I was just asking you a question. That's all."

"Alright. You asked a question, and I answered it. So, are we clear?" he said.

I could hear the noises of other McFaddens, heading to the living room...

"Crystal clear," I said, and turned around to walk off.

7

I rode up to the cabin with Evan in his truck, and we went inside. I set down all the pictures and scrapbooks that I'd brought up, and also

my bag with my diabetes supplies in it. Evan went to change his clothes in the small bedroom, and I went to start doing the dishes that were

piled neatly beside the sink.

When Evan came out, he had changed to a clean pair of jeans and t-shirt, and was barefoot.

"You don't have to do that," he told me.

"I don't mind," I said. "That way Nancy doesn't have to do them, when she's gonna be tired."

"Well, thanks."

"It's okay," I told him.

We were sitting around, listening to the radio, and Evan was leafing thru a rodeo magazine.

When Nancy got home, Evan had made her a bacon and tomato sandwich. If she was surprised or displeased to see me sitting there, taking

up space in her small living room, after a long day at the farm-feed store, she didn't show it.

She kissed Evan hello, and greeted me. "Hey there, wild child, how are you?"

I shrugged. "Needing a break," I said.

Nancy nodded, and didn't ask any more questions.

Every now and then, I would remember that on Monday I would be back to being a full-time student again. No more work program. I had failed. Every now and then I would remember, too, those awful grades I had. And the exchange I'd had with Crane earlier was bothering me, too. I hadn't been nice to him at all. I tried to justify it by telling myself that he hadn't been particularly nice to me, either...

Nancy and I did work on the photo scrapbooks, and then we played a game of Scrabble, while Evan read more of his rodeo magazine, and then

he ended up falling asleep on the couch.

When we were finishing our game, is when Nancy asked me, sort of in a quiet tone, how I was really doing.

"Not so good," I said, glumly. Since Evan hadn't known until this afternoon about my situation, I figured Nancy didn't know, either.

I told her about it all, about the work program, and about my grades, and Nancy sat back, eyeing me in a 'sisterly' way.

"Well, you have to do better," she said, bluntly. "Why did you let it get so far gone for?"

I was, by now, accustomed to Nancy's bluntness and her head-on approach to things, but it still rankled.

"It just happened," I said, in a vague way.

"Stuff like that doesn't 'just happen'," she said, in disagreement.

She was right about that. I'd known I was doing poorly for a couple of weeks, at least, and I hadn't taken any steps to correct it.

Nancy didn't stop there, though.

"And, then-having a set-to with Crane like you did-I mean, who argues with Crane, of all people. He's like-the most tolerant and

understanding person I've ever met," she said.

I knew that Crane was tolerant. And he was understanding. I felt a little disgruntled, though, that Nancy was doing the whole big sister thing right now.

"He's not perfect," I said, starting to put the Scrabble pieces back into the box.

"I never said he was perfect," Nancy said. "But-he almost is. And you-"

"I know," I said, with a snap. "I'm definitely not perfect. I'm nowhere near as good of a person as Crane is. I'm a failure."

Evan, who had been woken up by our not so quiet voices, was sitting up, and watching us both, with a worried and wary expression.

"You are no such a thing," Nancy said, in argument. "Failing at one thing doesn't make you a failure, Harlie."

"What self-help book did you get that quote out of?" I said, with spirit. And temper.

"Hey," Evan interjected, in his first attempt to get me to hush.

"It happens to be true," Nancy said, still talking to me. Neither one of us paid much attention to Evan right at that moment. "You're smart. And

you're capable. You just need to shake all this off, and you'll be fine-"

I stood, a couple of the Scrabble letters falling to the wooden floor. "I didn't come up here just so you can lecture me," I said, not nicely. "If I'd

wanted to be lectured, I could have stayed down at the house-"

"You're being ridiculous," Nancy said. "I'm trying to help you, and you're acting like a brat-"

I felt my face flush all hot. In temper. And embarrassment.

"Nice to know," I told her, sarcasm in my tone. "I can add brat to the list, along with failure!"

"Harlie, that's enough," Evan said.

I flashed him a haughty look. "I'm defending myself," I said.

"You don't need to defend yourself," he said. "Nobody's attackin' you."

"Of course you'll take her side," I said, my eyes filling with tears. "Wedding vows and all of that-"

By now, Evan was on his feet, while Nancy just sat where she was, looking at me with a somewhat pitying expression, as though I'd gone a

little crazy, and they just had to tolerate it.

"I'm not taking sides," Evan denied. "Nancy's just tryin' to help you."

"I don't need that kind of help," I said, and headed towards the corner where my bag was sitting. I picked it up and slung it over my

shoulder.

"I'm going back to the house," I said. "I don't want to bother you guys anymore."

Nancy jumped up and came over to put her hand on my elbow. "Don't be that way, Harlie. I wasn't trying to upset you."

"It's okay," I mumbled, avoiding her eyes. "I shouldn't have come. I'm lousy company right now, anyway."

"No, you're not," Nancy said, and squeezed my elbow.

"It's gettin' late," Evan said. "Time for sleep."

I stood, stubborn. "I'm going to walk down," I insisted.

Nancy opened her mouth to protest, likely, but Evan beat her to speak first.

"It's late. You can sleep here. I'm not takin' you down," he said.

"You don't have to," I said. "I'm perfectly capable to go down by myself."

"Harlie-" Nancy began, but I gave one more sarcastic jibe.

"Nancy even thinks I'm capable," I said. "Isn't that what you said, just now? That I'm smart-and capable-"

With a suddenness that would have startled me if I hadn't been so wired, or hyped up, Evan reached out and grabbed me by one wrist, and

towed me towards the door, opening it, and pushing me outside ahead of himself, the bag falling off of my shoulder.

Then he proceeded to still tow me along, over to where his truck was parked. When he stopped, I was backed against the side of

the truck, the door handle poking me in my upper back.

"Guess I'm going home after all, huh?" I said, still sassy.

"I said that I'm not takin' you down. And you're not walkin' down in the dark by yourself. That's the end of it," Evan said, his voice tight.

The porch light lit his face up enough that I could feel my own self-preservation instinct kick in. It began to sink in that I'd acted

in a way that would Evan to the brink of losing patience with me. Which is never really all that far for him with me, unfortunately.

I felt myself droop suddenly. I felt like a wilted flower. I mean-I was a guest at his house-and there was that time when he'd had it with my tantrum

last year, after that beer party, and tipped me over his knee-

"I'll apologize to Nancy," I said. "I just-" I paused, trying to search for the right words.

"You just don't like not succeeding at something," Evan finished for me. "You're used to things comin' easy to you, and when

they don't, then you pitch a fit and act like a damn baby."

I rubbed at my cheek, wet already with tears. "Things don't always come easy for me-" I began to defend myself.

"Yeah, they do," he said. "Mostly, anyway."

"I-" I began, and then let my voice trail off. "I'm sorry," I said, covering my face with my hands.

Evan pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me. It was a good hug. It made me miss Ford. And Daniel. They give good hugs, too. But, this hug, right

now, from Evan, felt really good. Comforting.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, my face against his chest.

"Yeah. I'm mad at ya," he said, in answer.

"You and Nanc won't want me to come up and visit anymore after this," I said.

"If you can behave yourself, then you can still come up," he said.

I raised my face from his chest. "I'll tell Nancy sorry," I said, again.

"She really is just tryin' to help you," Evan said.

I knew that was likely true.

"If I apologize to her, then can we not talk about it anymore tonight?" I asked.

"If you apologize, and promise not to be so bone-headed, then we can not talk about it anymore tonight," he said.

I hate it when Evan tells me I'm bone-headed, but at this moment, I decided not to call him out on that particular thing.

"Okay," I said, in agreement.

7