True, Honest Freedom (and the ones who get to attain it)

by justareader13

Shanks is the strongest omega on the seas, earning his way to the title of emperor. There's no shortage of enemies who want him or his dead. Which is why he can't let anyone know of the secret he has spirited away on Dawn Island. Or, Shanks has a one-night stand with the leader of the Revolutionary Army. Some things change as a result and some things don't.

13. Chest of Hope

Chapter Thirteen: Chest of Hope

Chapter Summary: In the aftermath of the fire in Gray Terminal, important conversations are had.

AN: Hello all! I am still alive. I got distracted with school ending and briefly got sucked into a zosan fic but I am back. Here is an extra-long chapter for a longer wait. This is way longer than I meant it to be, tbh, but I couldn't shuffle anything else to another chapter as it wouldn't work pacing wise and there was nowhere in the chapter that I felt was a natural place to break this one up into two. It's a very dialogue heavy chapter as well. I'm not totally happy with everything in it but I wanted to post it. Comments, constructive crit and impressions are welcomed and encouraged.

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Shanks had been in a lot of tense situations in his life. He couldn't be who he was, have the history and family he did, experience the life he had, and not been faced with stressful circumstances. Everything before today paled in comparison to how he felt sitting in the parlor of Eudora's villa, waiting for news about Uta and Luffy.

Uta had been completely unconscious by the time he and Yasopp made it out of Gray Terminal. Eudora had met them at the Great Gate where she was overseeing the disoriented and displaced residents. The royal guards were unfrozen and seemed to be assisting her set up a sort of triage. Shanks didn't spare a thought to how she managed to swing that, his concern was for Uta.

Eudora had quickly informed them that the others went back to the villa with Benn and Hongo, the doctor having ushered the boys to a place more suitable to start taking care of them. The men ran all the way to the villa, ignoring their burning lungs, still filled with acrid smoke from the Terminal. When they arrived, Shanks barely got a word out before Buggy's doctor took Uta from him and swept away into what had been deemed the medbay. Luffy and Ace were in there too along with Buggy and whoever else Hongo and Buggy's doctor had pulled in to be assistants.

Shanks had tried to go inside but after his fifth attempt was thwarted, Benn had come to babysit him alongside Yasopp while Richie stalked in front of the door and laid down at Mohji's command, blocking Shanks' way in.

He had settled for alternating between restless pacing and failed attempts to convince Benn to let him into the room. He remained in this state even now, his body feeling like a live wire. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins right alongside his overactive Haki, his body unable to regulate thanks to all the stress. He was sure he was letting off a pungent scent that let everyone around him know just how anxious he really was. Normally, he would hate to play his hand like that. He kept his hormones on a tight leash, but he couldn't be arsed to care. Benn and Yasopp were the only ones around anyway.

His crew had immediately jumped into action, doing whatever they could to make things as easy as possible for Shanks and his pups. Building Snake and Gab joined Bonk Punch and Monster by the shore, the four deciding to take a launcher from the Red Force and see if they could catch up with the surviving members of Bluejam's crew. Lucky Roux and Limejuice were assisting Hongo with the kids. Buggy's crew were also doing their utmost to be helpful. Cabaji had taken a few crew members to join the search for the Bluejams. Mohji and Buggy's doctor were assisting Hongo. The others had made themselves scarce after Shanks accidentally let out a small burst of Conqueror's that knocked out half of Buggy's crew and had led to alarmed and disgruntled exclamations from the medbay.

Buggy had briefly popped his head out only to angrily shout that if Shanks had the kids' best interest at heart, then he better get his shit together and make sure that didn't happen again. He put a large amount of his focus into ensuring no more accidents happened, but that didn't mean he was actually calmer than he had been before.

"Is it supposed to be taking this long," he asked again.

"It takes as long as it takes, Captain," Benn replied, just as he had the previous six times.

"But what if they're already…"

"You would know. You would feel it."

"What if I didn't? I could barely feel them earlier."

"But they felt you, didn't they," Yasopp asked.

"Yes, but—"

"Shanks, the 'buts' and the 'what-ifs' aren't helping you," Benn warned.

"I just— I don't know what to— if they're—"

"They're not, Chief. You're overthinking this. I'm going to tell you what I tell myself whenever I'm worrying about Banchina and Usopp: stop thinking and start feeling," Yasopp advised.

Shanks narrowed his brows in confusion before Benn tapped his chest in answer.

The redhead paused for a moment, a stab of trepidation hitting him. What if he couldn't feel them? What if they were already dead and Hongo, Buggy and the rest were too afraid to tell him? But surely Shanks would feel it. He had felt like he was cleaved in two just from distance alone when he gave them to Garp. He'd been feeling a void inside of his heart for seven years being away from them. He could only imagine the utter agony that he would feel if one of his pups died. He was certain his soul would evacuate his body. He'd die with them, he knew it in his heart of hearts.

He jumped as he felt a hand wrap around his fingers. Benn was standing in front of him. Shanks hadn't even noticed him stand up. He had a hand on the omega's and raised the appendage to rest over Shanks' heart, splaying the fingers out with his own hand.

"Stop thinking, start feeling," Benn repeated.

Shanks met his first mate's eyes. They were steady, reassuring, warm, just as Benn always was. The alpha was radiating a comforting scent, one meant to soothe and console. It was only amplified by Yasopp's presence and naturally calming scent. Having his packmates with him helped to dull the sharp edges of his anxiety, even if it didn't totally leave him. Nothing short of having his pups in his arms again would do that.

Benn nodded at him in reassurance and Shanks took the hint, closing his eyes and letting his focus narrow to a familiar point inside of him. Luffy and Uta were there, nestled in the chambers of his heart, making their homes there just as they had been from the moment of their birth. He let out a shaky breath as he felt them, alive and warm. They were frightened, somber and in pain, but still alive.

"Good?" Benn asked.

"No, but a little better," Shanks replied honestly, letting his head fall onto Benn's shoulder, breathing in his alpha scent, the only alpha he could find comfort in ever since Roger died and Rayleigh left him.

He felt another hand press against his back.

"Don't worry, Chief. Our pups are fighters. They're going to make it through today and every other hard day to come," Yasopp assured him, rubbing a hand up and down his back.

Shanks didn't answer but continued to soak in the comforting presence of his nakama.

He wasn't sure how long he had been there before he was finally permitted to enter the medbay. During his endless waiting, Ace was allowed to leave.

He walked out and froze when he saw Shanks. The redhead stared back at him. He was covered in soot and ash and had a few bandages littering his body, most notably one wrapped around his head, but otherwise he seemed okay. Physically anyway. That didn't account for how he was feeling. Shanks watched as the boy steeled himself and walked right up to him.

"It was my fault," he declared.

Ace stared at him expectantly after his assertion. Shanks quirked an eyebrow silently in reply. The seconds ticked by while the boy's gaze held steady on him. Shanks wondered if he knew that his hands were shaking, that his body was practically vibrating with nervous energy, that there was steam coming out of the soles of his feet where he was burning an imprint into the tiles. The longer the silence dragged on, the more anxious Ace became before he was talking again, words falling from his lips like a geyser.

Shanks listened silently as the boy launched into an explanation of what had happened the night before. By the time he was finished, his chest was heaving like he had just run several country miles. Shanks blinked, trying to process everything he said. He practically tarred and feathered himself, making himself the villain of the night, the source of every bad thing that had happened. Shanks didn't think the boy was innocent but he also didn't think he had been as culpable as he was making it seem. The truth was probably somewhere in the middle of his self-recriminating explanation but Shanks couldn't find the energy to react one way or another. He was sure he would find some strength later. Later he might be upset that he hadn't known something like this could happen, he might panic over what could've happened, he might dwell in guilt over what did. For now, he couldn't manage much more than a nod of acceptance.

"Thank you for telling me."

Ace gaped in confusion, clearly expecting something more. Whatever it was, Shanks couldn't give it to him at the moment.

"Did you hear me? It's my fault."

"I heard you and it's clear that that's what you believe. Whether it's true or not is another matter entirely."

Ace stared at him incredulously. Shanks didn't know what he wanted him to say.

"It's not your fault, you know?"

Ace jumped a little and glanced at the sharpshooter as he broke the silence, reminding the boy that Benn and Yasopp were there too.

"Huh?"

"All of this, it's not your fault."

Ace scoffed at that.

"I don't need you telling me pretty lies. I'm not some damn baby."

"You're not, no. But you are a kid."

"I'm not—"

"You're still just a pup, barely any older than my own son. You're a pup who made a mistake because he ended up with more power than he knew what to do with."

Ace gritted his teeth at that.

"What's the point of you telling me this? You can say this now, but if your captain told you to shoot me, you wouldn't hesitate."

The three men paused at that declaration.

"Except he wouldn't tell any of us to do something like that," Benn spoke up.

"Is that what you think?"

"It's what I know. You made some mistakes. They were big mistakes, messy ones. They're the kind of mistakes that are going to follow you, but they were mistakes nonetheless."

"Making a mistake doesn't mean something isn't your fault."

"It doesn't, but in this case it wasn't the kind of mistake anyone should fault you for."

"Plenty of people could fault me for this. I somehow managed to make a trash heap something even worse. This is on me."

"I never said it wasn't on you and I said they shouldn't fault you, not that they couldn't or that they won't if they ever knew the truth. I'm a pirate, kid. Pretty lies aren't my thing so I'll be blunt. This will be your burden to bear, whether any of us like it or not. This will haunt you in ways no one can really foresee. My words will do nothing to stop it, nor will Yasopp's or Shanks' or Buggy's or anyone else. That doesn't mean it won't do you good to hear someone tell you that this isn't your fault. If those second-rate pirates hadn't gotten involved, none of this would be happening."

"I involved them. I went looking for them."

"Oh, you were an idiot for leaving, the lot of you were. But you're young, which is the best time for someone to be an idiot because it means you can learn. You're naïve now and you think you're invincible. Luffy and Uta think the same because they're the same as you. You ran into the wrong sort but they regretted it the second they realized just who they crossed and anyone left in their crew is going to learn to regret it as well."

Shanks' gaze went flinty then, thinking about the pirates who managed to get away. There was every possibility one of them was Bluejam himself, not that it mattered. Captain or not, Shanks was going to see to it that every last one of them was eradicated before he left for the Grand Line. He wouldn't leave that scum walking the same earth as his pups.

Ace's gaze turned to Shanks then, still expectant, still waiting for something. Shanks had a sinking feeling he knew what it was.

Shanks was exhausted, emotionally and physically. His nerves were worn so thin they were nearly transparent. His anxiety had reached heights they hadn't reached since that day he was standing in front of that platform in Loguetown. All he wanted to do was gather his pups in his arms and fall asleep with them wrapped in his embrace, basking in the knowledge that they were safe.

But Ace was staring up at him, waiting for something. Ace had approached him with the look of a man walking to the gallows, the exact opposite of Roger but just as accepting of his fate as their father had been. Ace came to Shanks and told him everything that happened with the air of someone giving their final confession. Ace believed Shanks would order Yasopp to shoot him right now.

"That boy is destined for the same fate as his father and he knows it too. He's going to bring it on himself if the world doesn't do it for him first," Dadan had said.

He stared down at the boy. The boy with Rouge's freckles and chin. The boy with Roger's hair and nose. The boy who shared Shanks and Buggy's broken family history. The boy who had a target painted on his back the moment he was conceived. The boy whose existence was preceded by a massacre and a bloodhunt that saw to the deaths of tens of hundreds of innocent men, women and children, all for the sake of Absolute Justice. The boy who was still staring up at Shanks, waiting.

"Do you remember what I told you the first time we had a real conversation," Shanks asked, his voice soft but steady.

"I guess…? You said a lot of things, I don't…"

"I shared stories about our parents. You said you didn't see me as a brother. What did I say to you?"

Ace's face changed as he apparently remembered the words. He seemed reluctant to answer but Shanks kept his gaze on him, waiting. Ace shuffled at being on the receiving end. He didn't answer for a long while, but Shanks could be patient when it mattered, so he waited the boy out.

Eventually, the brunette heaved a put-upon sigh.

"You said you didn't expect me to see you as a brother, but you hoped I understood why you would always see me as pack."

"That about sums it up, yes. My mind hasn't changed about that. Packs aren't fickle things, at least they're not supposed to be. When I was only a few years older than you, my pack abandoned me. I swore I'd never do that to anyone else. I'd never take my pack for granted. I like to think my nakama could attest that I've kept that vow, as could my friends. When I told you that I see you as pack, it wasn't words that I said lightly. Pack-members don't just turn their backs on each other when it's convenient to do so, they don't leave each other hanging, and they certainly wouldn't try and kill each other without just cause. You should understand that having grown up as part of a pack."

"The bandits aren't… I mean… they aren't mine."

"No? Are you sure about that?"

"I… yes. Yes, I'm sure."

"Hmm. You're very perceptive, Ace. You understand how the world works in a way that most children don't, which has its advantages and disadvantages, but you can be quite blind when it comes to yourself."

Ace's eyes flashed with indignation, but Shanks continued speaking.

"There are people in this world that want you dead simply because you exist, but I wonder if you realize that there are also people in this world that want you alive and love you for the exact same reason," he stated matter-of-factly.

His words made Ace's mouth snap shut. He stared up at Shanks, clearly disarmed and speechless.

Before the boy could press, Buggy came out of the room, patting Richie's side as he passed the dozing lion. He paused as he saw Ace standing there.

"The hell are you doing, kid? I thought we told you to get your ass in a shower and then go straight to bed?"

Ace didn't respond, his gaze still locked on Shanks' face.

"Hey, kid!"

Ace jumped, startled out of the staring match, before turning to look at Buggy.

The bluehead raised an imperious brow at the boy before nodding pointedly up the stairs.

"Shower. Bed. Now."

It was a testament to how shaken Ace was that he didn't protest or make any snarky remarks. He trudged up the stairs, throwing Shanks peculiar looks over his shoulder as he did so.

Buggy gave him a questioning look but Shanks shrugged and went back to resting against Benn.

"Kid's got a death wish," Benn answered for him.

Buggy glanced up at the alpha.

"He's reckless, that's for sure, and an idiot."

"He thinks he deserves to die and he thinks one of you is going to do it, especially after tonight."

The realization didn't hit Shanks as hard as he was sure it would later, certainly not as hard as it hit Buggy who blinked hard at Benn before turning his gaze to where Ace had disappeared.

"You sure?"

Benn nodded wordlessly.

"It's obvious and I don't need Yasopp's eyesight to see it either."

Buggy looked back at Shanks with an assessing gaze before he nodded to himself.

"I'll deal with Dumbass #2. Until they let him see the kids, do me a favor and watch out for Dumbass #1 here."

"I always do," Benn confirmed.

Buggy reached out and clapped a hand on Shanks' shoulder before he went towards the stairs. Shanks watched him go. He would let Buggy handle Ace for now and he'd check on him when he felt more like himself. Besides, Buggy might be better suited to knock some sense upside his head.

Shanks' eyes drooped shut as he leaned against Benn. Sleep was nowhere in the cards, not until he saw his children, but he needed some time to breathe himself out until then.

Eventually, the people in the makeshift medbay began trickling out. Roux gave them a nod before hurrying off towards the kitchen, Limejuice not far behind. Hongo came out last and walked up to Shanks, Benn and Yasopp. The omega doctor looked exhausted, his face was pale and sallow, his eyes were dull and hooded, his hands were shaking a bit and his back seemed stiff but he gave Shanks a tired smile.

"They'll live."

A breath of relief left Shanks and he found himself leaning most of his weight on Benn as the feeling left his knees shaking. Benn bore his weight easily and without complaint.

"You're sure," he questioned, his voice cracking a bit.

"I'm not going to lie, it was touch and go for a while with Uta and the blonde boy, Sabo. They're both the worst off. Uta's got internal damage: a skull fracture and a severe concussion, bruised ribs, broken eye socket, acute smoke inhalation, she's bleeding into her lung as well. We've controlled the bleeding and prevented her lung from collapsing thankfully, but I'm going to need to keep an eye on it as well as her head injuries to ensure her brain doesn't swell. I'll be watching out for infection as well. The smoke inhalation is going to be the longest lasting injury, it'll likely take weeks if not months until her lungs have recovered. They might be permanently damaged and that'll affect her further down the line, but she's stable."

"Luffy?"

"Acute smoke inhalation as well. A couple of cracked ribs, mild internal bleeding that I'm treating with medication and rest, an inordinate number of cuts and bruises, but he looks worse than he is. Kid's like a rubber band. He'll snap back alright, physically anyway. Mentally… well, let's just say I don't think Anchor's too worried about himself. He's taking Uta's state pretty hard."

Shanks could imagine as much. It wasn't a surprise that the twins would be more concerned with each other's health than their own. He wouldn't be shocked if Uta woke up with thoughts of Luffy's well-being at the forefront of her mind.

"Can I see them," he asked, desperation tinging his voice.

"I'm not foolish enough to risk this house's integrity by trying to keep you out of that room. Just make sure you don't disturb any of the wires and keep it at inside voices. Uta needs her rest and Sabo's still there too. I didn't want to move the kid. He's in critical condition. He needs all the rest he can get."

"How is he? His face…"

"Broken jaw. I had to wire it shut. His nose was broken too. I managed to save the organ but I have serious doubts about whether he'll ever see out of that eye again and his burn scars will be… considerable."

"Were you able to figure out if there's anyone we need to contact for him?"

"Ace made it sound like he didn't have much in the way of family. There are no pack scents or claims on him either. Based off of his level of malnutrition, the bruises in various stages of healing and the evidence of previous fractures on his x-rays, I'd say he's been on his own for a while or at least isn't with people we should trouble ourselves with reaching out to."

Shanks nodded, resolving he'd figure out arrangements for the new pup in their midst later, before peeling himself away from Benn and making a beeline for the room his children were in.

As he stepped inside, he was hit with a wave of scents: blood, cleaning agents, medications, sweat, ash, smoke. Beneath it all, he could smell anxiety, pain and sadness hanging in the air like smog. He caught sight of the blonde boy, Sabo, in the bed closest to the window. He was drowned by the sheets with half his face concealed in bandages. He was hooked up to more monitors and wires than Shanks thought his small body could take but it was obvious the boy was alive. From Ace's story, he had helped to protect and save the twins. Shanks owed him for that.

His attention was quickly drawn to the source of his anxiety. Uta was in a similar state to Sabo. She was changed into clean clothes and had been washed but with the ash gone that just made the extent of her injuries starker. She had a bruise on nearly every visible part of her body. Her face was obscured by an oxygen mask and she had about four different machines she was hooked up to. She was sleeping but there was a pinch to her brow that told him it wasn't restful. Luffy was lying on his stomach beside her. He still had Shanks' straw hat. He was clutching the brim with both hands, pulling the hat down so his face was totally obscured. Shanks could tell from the way his body was shaking and the little noises he was making that he was crying.

He took another moment to drink the sight of Uta in. It was a macabre sight to be sure, but the beeping and the monitors and the machines all meant she was alive. He would take this over the alternative any day. He turned his attention to Luffy then. The kid was wrapped nearly head to toe in bandages, the white fabric hiding his tan skin. He appeared to be hooked to an oxygen machine, helping him deal with the effects of smoke inhalation. His breaths sounded raspy and overly loud even as he was trying to cry quietly. Luffy never did anything quiet. It was a strange and heartbreaking sight to see.

He approached him and placed a gentle hand on his back. Luffy didn't react.

"Anchor," he prompted.

The boy shuddered with a repressed sob.

"Luffy, talk to me."

The seven-year-old stayed quiet for a while, small sobs escaping him along with rattling raspy breaths, before he finally spoke.

"Uta is hurt," he stated mournfully.

"She is. But Hongo says she'll get better."

"Uta is hurt... again. Uta almost died… again. And I… I couldn't protect her again. She sent me away because I was weak and she knew it. Just like she went with Daku because he hurt me. I was weak then too."

"Both you and Uta are two of the strongest kids I know. Just because you weren't ready to face something like this does not mean you're weak. There are grown men who would've died from what you two went through tonight."

"How can I be Pirate King when I can't protect my own twin sister," Luffy continued tearfully, disregarding Shanks' words.

"Anchor—"

"Shanks… I wanna be stronger. Stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. Stronger and stronger and stronger! Stronger and stronger—"

"Luffy," Shanks cut off the now openly sobbing boy, lifting him up carefully and pulling him into his arms.

Luffy was still declaring his need into Shanks' chest, his shirt becoming damp with his son's tears.

"Stronger and stronger and stronger! Sh— Shanks, I need to be the strongest in the world! I have to! For… for Uta. I'll… I can protect her. I can protect everyone then. No one I care about will get hurt because no one will ever be able to hurt them ever again!"

Shanks felt his heart clenching at that declaration as he held Luffy tighter, mindful of his injuries and the oxygen mask on his face.

"Anchor, you will be strong. Stronger than you already are, I know it. But the world isn't perfect. People will get hurt, even if they're our special people, and one day they'll die. No matter how strong we are, we can't stop that. But that doesn't mean we can't fight for the people we love, do our best to protect them, do everything in our power to keep them safe. That also means accepting that the people we love will want to do the same for us. Uta's your big sister. She loves you just as much as you love her. She'll put herself in danger for you, just like you will for her and it'll feel awful when it happens. It doesn't mean she's doubting your strength, it just means she loves you."

"I don't like this. I don't want her to be hurt for me."

"Uta made a choice to help people. A large part of the reason for her actions were you, I'm sure. But it wasn't just you. Her choice isn't on your head. Let her have the dignity of her own choice."

Luffy whimpered at that but didn't otherwise answer.

"I know it's hard seeing her like this. It's hard for me too. It's hard for me to see you hurt as well. But it's not either of your faults, it's the pirates who took you."

"Are they… are the bad guys… are they gone?"

Shanks didn't answer for a moment, briefly debating how to phrase things. Then again, he didn't enjoy sugarcoating things for the kids even if he tried to explain in kid-friendly terms.

"Porchemy can't hurt anyone ever again. Most of his crew can't either. There are a few that got away, but we'll find them and make sure they join the rest."

Luffy took a moment to process this before he nuzzled deeper into Shanks' chest.

"Okay," he replied simply.

Shanks continued running a comforting hand up and down his back as the boy came down from his emotional overture. He rested his chin atop the straw hat while his other hand rested on Uta's, lightly rubbing his thumb into her small ashen palm, occasionally letting his fingers drift to her wrist to feel the steady rhythm of her pulse.

"Hey Shanks," Luffy mumbled after a while, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Hmm?"

"Uta woke up for a while earlier and she said something funny."

"What's that?"

"She was asking for you, but she wasn't saying your name. She was calling you 'Daddy'."

Shanks stiffened the barest amount before forcibly relaxing himself.

"Yes, she called me that when I found her in the Terminal as well."

"I didn't really know what a father was before a few months ago. I just thought it was a guy some people had in their family, but Makino told Uta and I what it really meant," Luffy explained.

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hmm. Anyway, can I call you 'Dad' now too?"

Shanks was thrown at the blunt request even as he felt his heart warm with affection.

"I'd love nothing more, Anchor, trust me. But I think you should wait until after Uta is awake."

Luffy pulled his head back and adjusted the straw hat so it wasn't covering his eyes anymore, revealing a curious gaze.

"How come?"

"Because I need to explain a few things and it's best if I do it when both of you are able to follow that conversation. If you still want to call me 'Dad' after that, then you can."

"I want to call you 'Dad' now. I'm sure I still will after Uta is awake, but okay, I'll wait to call you 'Dad', Dad."

Shanks snorted a little at that, not at all surprised that something like that would be his son's response. He pulled the boy into as tight a hug as he dared.

"You know how much I love you, kid?"

"Ya-huh."

"Good. 'Cause I love you ten times more than that."

Luffy started giggling at that. It was a hoarser sound than Shanks was used to, but still full of joy and light. He sorely missed hearing it even though it had only been a day since he last did.

"Shishishi, Shanks is so silly."

"Maybe, but you scared the hell out of me. You have no idea how worried I was. You two can't give me a heart attack like that again, got it?"

"Okay."

Shanks knew that was a useless thing to ask for. His pups were destined for both greatness and trouble. He had many more heart attacks to look forward to but still, he decided to indulge himself in a sweet lie if only to get his own heart rate back to a normal enough range.

The two were quiet for a while, taking comfort in each other's embrace and the constant rhythm of Uta's heart monitor. Shanks thought Luffy was asleep, but he suddenly broke the silence with a tentative question.

"If you were really worried about us, does that mean that we're not going to be grounded?"

"Oh, you're in unbelievable amounts of trouble. The Red Force is going to look brand new by the time you two finish the list of chores you'll be doing and the island will have a sudden surplus of meat for at least two weeks."

"But Dad…" Luffy whined.

Shanks smiled at the sound of that and wordlessly cuddled the boy closer to his chest, letting his eyes fall close and basking in the warm presence of his children. Alive.

Anything else that needed his attention could wait.

---

Sunlight streaming through the window was the first thing Ace saw when his eyes snapped open. For a moment, he was disoriented and didn't know where he was or what was going on. The previous days flooded back to him and he found himself missing blissful ignorance. Anything would've been better than being confronted with just how much he screwed things up.

He groaned as he sat up. He had taken a shower the night prior, but he could still smell ash as he breathed in. He wasn't sure if it was because of smoke lingering on his skin or because the acrid scent had been blown from the Terminal to Town Center. Most likely, it was both.

His body was an aching thing that didn't feel like it belonged to him. He felt sore all over and his head was throbbing. His eyes burned with the need to slip shut again. He was exhausted even though he went to bed as soon as he cleaned himself off. His sleep was anything but restful. All he dreamt about was fire and blood. He saw all his regrets playing out before him: his mother's death. The fire. The people in the Terminal who fell victim to the fire. Sabo, Uta and Luffy in danger because of him. The thoughts plagued him even in slumber and he found himself shaking awake from his nightmares throughout the night, leaving him still exhausted and anxious in spite of the new day.

Perhaps it was because he was certain the day wouldn't bring him anything good. Sabo and Uta were out cold, unconscious and in critical condition. Luffy had been inconsolable last Ace saw him, utterly convinced he failed Uta in some way no matter how many times Ace shouted at him for crying like a dumb baby, something the adults in the room didn't appreciate. What did it matter to Ace though? He had known he was going to die the minute Shanks knew how much shit he put the twins through. There was no way he would let Ace get away with doing what he had to the pups Shanks claimed as his own. Ace couldn't even blame him. After all, the captain had been doing what Ace despised the citizens of Windmill Village for not doing.

Shanks wanted them. Shanks loved them. He was soft like the villagers, but also strong. He was carefree like the villagers and a bit childish, but also shrewd and worldly. He was an idiot like the villagers, but also caring and kind and loving.

He was also dangerous. He couldn't be a pirate, an omega pirate at that, and not be. He was a pirate who had decided that he wanted Uta and Luffy. Ace had heard enough stories to know the lengths pirates would go to for their treasure, so when he stepped out of the medbay and saw Shanks standing there with Benn Beckman and Yasopp, two of the strongest members of his crew, Ace's heart sank to his stomach.

He was suddenly reminded that the love Shanks extended towards the twins was shared by his crew. Yasopp and Beckman must be almost as angry as Shanks.

Ace felt fear but also a strange kind of acceptance. This was it. This was where he died. He imagined death much more than any child his age should. He had imagined that he would be torn apart by cannon fire or bullets, that he'd be hung or run through on an execution platform, that his head would roll at the feet of some mustachioed Marine who hated him on the principle of his existence. Now he knew that his death would be at the hands of a man raised by the people who never got the chance to raise Ace. That felt more fitting than anything else.

But Shanks hadn't said anything. Ace laid out the ugly details of his transgressions but the redhead had just stood there and listened.

Dadan would've been all bluster and threats, screaming loud enough for everyone in Goa to hear. Gramps would've started throwing punches and begun a stern lecture before Ace could even finish his story. Neither of them would've been silent. Ace didn't know what to do with silence. Somehow, it felt more foreboding than Dadan's shouts or Gramps' fists ever could.

He didn't know Shanks well but quiet was not a word he'd use to describe him. The Shanks he had observed was boisterous laughter, teasing chuckles, grandiose stories, childish mocking, drunken singing but not quiet, not brooding, not the man before him who was leaning listlessly against his first mate, his eyes trained unerringly on the door to the medbay.

On one hand, it made sense. The ultimate goal was the twins' wellbeing, nothing else mattered, not even Ace. That singular goal had given Ace all the focus he needed to force the flames away in the Terminal, to draw the fire back into himself, to soothe the inferno away.

It was a strange feeling. It was exactly as Eudora said, it was like the flames were a part of him, like he could speak to them. They weren't speaking like the Fruit had been, but Ace could still glean things: feelings, emotions, sensations, desires. The fire was fueled by his rage and he could feel his anger in every ember, but also his desperation, his pain, his hurt. The flames could feel him right back and were responding to him. He had had to push everything away and only think of what was most vital: Uta, out there in danger because she was stupid and selfless and Ace had unwittingly put some dumb idea in her head that made her think she had to save everyone. Sabo, broken and bloody because he was defiant and rebellious and amazing while doing it. Sabo, still hanging at death's door. Luffy, unsmiling and crying and afraid. Luffy, alone without his twin. The flames responded to his innate need to make things right for them as much as they did to Ace's negative emotions. He had felt a swell of triumph at the small victory, even if it came too late.

Sabo was still death warmed over. Uta was still hurt and clinging on to life through stubborn force of will alone. Luffy was still unsmiling and crying and afraid. Ace hadn't really accomplished anything beyond ensuring no more people died due to his temper tantrum.

Now, here he was, a pit of apprehension settling in his gut. The stone that had been in his stomach ever since he set foot aboard the Red Force was an even greater weight.

Shanks could've killed him last night but he chose not to, and Ace still didn't understand why.

He had previously speculated on the man's ability to do so. Pirate or not, he was too caught up in moral obligations to Luffy and Uta to hurt Ace, but after everything he'd dragged the twins into, Ace was certain whatever reservations he had had flown out the window. There was nothing stopping him from carrying out the act when Ace marched up to him. It was just Ace, Shanks, Beckman and Yasopp there. He could've had the beta sharpshooter fire a single shot and Ace would be dead before he knew it or the alpha first mate could've bludgeoned him to death with his rifle. Or Shanks could've done it himself. He recalled the way he had effortlessly cut through the boulders Ace had sent his way on Mount Colubo, Griffin slicing them like they were made of butter. Shanks could do the same to him and he'd be dead before he could register what had happened.

Ace was ready to accept his fate. He wouldn't even fight to fulfill his dream first anymore. He didn't deserve to carry the name Portgas D. His mom's legacy shouldn't be sullied by a monster like him.

But Shanks had stood there, silent. He listened to Ace and then he thanked him, like he had done something worth showing gratitude for. He had said he wasn't going to kill Ace, nor have his men do it. He had implied that Ace was pack to him. He had implied that he wanted Ace to live, that he saw Ace as someone who was worthy of love, just for existing.

Maybe Shanks was who Uta got her stupid from.

Ace had always given her credit, but obviously, he was wrong to do so. She was as dumb as her twin and Shanks were, maybe even dumber. Sure, she had a Devil Fruit and she was stronger than most pups, but she was still just a pup. A pup who was alone and stupid and thought she was a monster and that someone like Ace was worth more than her, which was doubly stupid.

She had been talking crazy before her little stunt. Talking about Ace like he had been a friend to her, like he had been good to her, like he hadn't tried to kill her and insulted her every chance he got. Like he hadn't ruined the dresses she liked and put mud in her hair. Like he didn't laugh whenever she lost a spar or go after her with all his strength whenever they trained. Like he didn't spit on her beloved twin and hadn't killed the woman she idolized as the Pirate Queen.

He thought she understood what he was but clearly, she didn't. No more than Shanks understood because he had said what he said last night.

"There are people in this world that want you dead simply because you exist, but I wonder if you realize that there are also people in this world that want you alive and love you for the exact same reason."

What did that even mean? Why would someone want him to live or love him just because he was who he was? Gol D. Ace was a demon, a monster, something that should never have existed, something that should have never been allowed to walk the earth. He had tried to make Portgas D. Ace something that was better, something that had a purpose, something that could've fulfilled a worthwhile dream but he turned out to be cut from the exact same cloth as his predecessor. Ace was a fool to think changing his name would change anything about him. He was what he was. How could a creature like him ever be worthy?

Lies. Maybe it was a trick and he'll show up eventually to kill me. But he had all night to do it, so why bother wait? Just to play games with me?

He was ripped from his thoughts as a quiet knock sounded on the door.

"Wh— Who is it?"

"Eudora," a soft voice answered on the other side.

Ace stiffened. Eudora wouldn't need a whole spiel to want to kill him. He had stolen her treasure. What more reason did she need?

"Come in," he replied, a sense of trepidation settling in his gut as the door swung open.

Eudora stepped into the room, a genial smile on her face and a tray held in her hands. There was food to one side and medical supplies on the other.

"Good morning, I hope you had a good rest."

Ace grunted noncommittally and watched her closely as she set the tray down on the bedside table.

"I thought you might be hungry but I also wanted to make sure to change your bandages."

He stayed silent as the woman reached out to him and began working on his wounds. He felt his body tensing periodically as she moved around him fluidly, unwrapping the bandage from his head, inspecting the wound, applying a salve and redressing it before she moved on to his other injuries. He was nowhere near as hurt as the others, she really didn't have to bother with him. Maybe she didn't realize that, she had stayed at the Terminal to help the people.

The people who Ace had hurt and displaced.

"How are all the residents from the Terminal? Did… did anyone else…?"

"They're alright for now. Or as alright as anyone could expect. I had a very illuminating and productive conversation with the royal guards and got them to see my way of things. The people have branched out into Edge Town with the most injured going to a warehouse by the docks that I've rented out. They're being overseen by doctors from downtown. The king is none the wiser to this. For how long? Who knows? But what is he going to do? Set the Terminal ablaze again? The fire is out and now people are moving on to face what comes after."

"Why are you helping them anyway? You don't have to. No other noble on this island would."

"I'm not from this island and even if I was, I would hope that I was still the kind of person who would see someone facing misfortune and want to help them."

"But why?"

"Because, once upon a time, I was in the same position: wishing for someone to care. Most people didn't, definitely not the people who should've, but there was one person who did and I promised her that I would never let my heart turn cold and hard. I promised her I'd remain kind and so that's what I've tried to do."

Ace paused at that, wondering if he wanted to pull on that thread. There was something in the back of his head telling him it might be safer to steer away from that road and so he went down another that was no less pleasant, but was necessary.

"I'm sorry, Eudora. I should've never taken your Fruit. I definitely shouldn't have eaten it."

The gamma watched him for a moment before shaking her head, her kinky violet curls bouncing with the action.

"I won't say I'm not disappointed in how things turned out, but I already told you that I forgive you. I'd much rather a scenario where you eat the Fruit and survive over one where you die."

Ace's face turned up in consternation at that.

"You disagree," Eudora surmised.

Ace didn't reply. He wasn't going to spill his guts to this woman he didn't know, a woman he believed wanted him dead. Admittedly, the idea that she would kill him didn't seem likely, but it was still possible.

"You didn't ask me who I made my promise to. Most people would've. The curiosity would've gotten the better of them, but I suppose you suspect who it was already."

"It was my mom, wasn't it?"

Eudora's smile grew then.

"Indeed, it was. I made that promise to her after she saved me."

"Saved you?"

"I told you met her as a child through my grandparents. She was still a newly minted captain travelling the South Blue at that time. When I met her again, it was ten years ago. Roger was dead, she was pregnant with you and the bloodhunt was ravaging Baterilla. The World Government declared that the island be named co-conspirators of Gold Roger because he and Hibiscus Rouge found safe harbor there for a time, which made us a target, but even more than to enact punishment for our inaction, they wanted you. They knew Rouge was from Baterilla and that she held the island in high esteem. Baterilla valued her right back and so there were many rumors flying around that Roger had an affair with someone on the island, that Rouge wasn't the one pregnant with his child after all. It wasn't a farfetched idea. They had been mates for quite some time and had not produced biological pups. The intention behind the rumors were to throw suspicion off of Rouge, have the World Government scramble to confirm the whispers and give Rouge enough time to formulate a plan. The island underestimated the World's nefarious nature. Rather than bother to confirm one way or another, they continued their search for Rouge and extended their cruelty to the island, declaring that any pregnant betas or omegas as well as any babies born within a six-month period were to be declared apostates and executed on charges of treason. They ransacked our towns, dragged pregnant beta and omega women as well as pregnant omega men out into the streets and slaughtered them. And the children… they held no mercy for the pups either. Mates and the packs of those killed tried to defend their loved ones and only met the same fate. Our towns were host to mass graves and mass mourning. It was madness."

Ace stared at her, wide-eyed. He had heard that there was a hunt for him and his mother but never from someone who had lived it, who had been one of the civilians caught up in the crossfire of the Marine-Pirate warfare.

"While all that was going on, I was living my own personal hell. The citizens of Baterilla grew angry and turned that anger on the nobility. They saw them as selling the island out to the Marines and being pushovers who did nothing to stop the massacre. My family's estate and their plantations, the source of our wealth, were burned down. My parents were desperate to recoup the loss. They wouldn't be able to get help from family because my grandparents disowned my mother when she married my father. My parents had the bright idea to strike a deal with someone that my father was in business with. They sold me to this alpha when I was 11 years old in exchange for land and a few million berri. That man took me and claimed me, turned me into a gamma. I couldn't very well do much to stop him, especially not given that he was the user of the Mera Mera no Mi."

Ace's eyes widened at that.

"I lived through hell for years before fortune smiled on me. I ran into Rouge out of the blue. She was heavily pregnant with you. Her health was waning due to how much power she was exerting by extending her pregnancy and she was on the run from the Marines who still hadn't let up ravaging the island, but as soon as she smelled me and realized I was a gamma with a mate's claim on me, it was like a fire was lit inside of her. She was determined to make the person who did that to me pay no matter what. Nothing would hold her back. She marched right into the place that had been my prison and challenged my husband to a duel. Pregnant and weakened and on the run, she challenged him anyway. He didn't take her seriously at first, a pregnant omega challenging an alpha Devil Fruit eater for their mate, can you imagine? But he accepted her challenge, probably because he thought he could beat her and turn her in for her bounty. And Rouge? She kicked his ass without breaking a sweat."

Eudora's eyes were lit up with admiration, a child-like hero worship clinging to the edges of her smile. Ace felt a swell of pride inside of him. That was who his mother was.

"She took me away. I traveled with her for weeks before we finally made it to my grandparents. It didn't matter what danger she was in, she only cared about making sure I was safe. I know that that was only a pale shadow of how much she cared about you. She took on a man for me, but for you? She took on the World. She took on nature itself. I hope that gives you some insight as to why it breaks my heart to see you now."

Ace glanced away from Eudora uncomfortably.

"You don't have to say it. I know that I don't deserve to be here. She should be the one alive, not me."

"You misunderstand me. It breaks my heart that you think Rouge would've ever hated you or seen you as a monster. She absolutely adored you."

Ace's breath caught in his throat as he turned back to her.

Eudora's face was full of compassion, her eyes misty and distant as if she was seeing the past play out in front of her.

"The kind of love your mother held for you was the kind I spent my childhood praying to receive. I wish so much that you could've experienced it firsthand, because if you had then there would be no doubt in your mind about whether you deserve to be alive. Your mother was one of the strongest people I've ever known. Physically, she was formidable. More than that, it was her character and her heart that truly made her strong. I can see that she lives on in you."

"Me? No, I'm not… I mean, she was… she was good and I'm not…"

"She was protective, just like you. She was driven, just like you. She was brave, just like you. She was full of conviction, just like you. I can see all her best qualities replicated in you, even if you can't see it yourself. She's gone but she's still here because her soul lives on in Buggy, in Shanks, in you."

Ace's throat burned and his eyes itched as he took in her words, his mind warring with itself.

"You are Rouge's hope. You're her joy and her sorrow, her love and her pain, her sense of justice and her fears, her zeal for freedom and her disdain for those who took it away. You're her son. There's no way you could ever be worthless or a monster or a demon, because you're hers. And that's enough."

Ace clenched his teeth as his eyes filled with tears. Emotions were swelling inside of him, ravaging him and overtaking any sense of control he had. Eudora's words were too much. Maybe this was how she intended to kill him because there was no purpose behind her words beyond cruelty.

He jumped up from the bed, all his grief and hurt and sorrow quickly turning to anger.

"Fuck you," he spat at the noblewoman.

Eudora looked back at him passively. It only made Ace angrier.

"You're nothing but a filthy liar. Why would you come here saying all of this bullshit? If you want to kill me, then just kill me. Why drag it out with all this crap?"

Eudora gave him a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, Ace."

The boy drew back at that, not expecting it.

"I'm sorry that the world has made it so difficult for you to see your own worth."

The statement slapped him in the face, the sentence tearing at his heart, soul and mind. Something was welling up inside as the words hit him deep. He released an anguished cry as he felt a burst of emotion manifest before he was suddenly surrounded by flames. He jumped away from Eudora in fright, looking down at the fire licking his shoulders, hands and legs. His panic had him stumbling back towards the window, not paying attention to what was around him. He startled as his back hit something before he turned around to see he had bumped into the curtains. Fire was burning at the bottom of the fabric, steadily making its way higher.

Not again. It couldn't happen again. He couldn't hurt people like this again. He couldn't be that demon, that monster again.

He didn't realize he had said that out loud until Eudora answered him.

"You're not a demon or a monster. You're a young boy with a Devil Fruit but remember what I told you last night. The flames are part of you. They can't remain without your say so. You can stop them."

It sounded so easy when she said it, but he had done it before. He did it for Sabo, Uta and Luffy because they were in danger. The three of them were in the house right now. If it went up, they'd be back where they were last night. Ace wouldn't do that to them again. He latched on to every ounce of control he had and took ahold of the flames, forcing them to die down before they disappeared completely.

He stared at the charred curtains before his shoulders slumped.

"We will have to continue working on your control but you've done well so far. Training a Logia as a Paramecia won't be easy but thankfully, I have exposure to your Fruit, so I'll do what I can for you."

"Eudora, stop. Stop being nice to me. Stop speaking. Just go away."

"Ace—"

"Go away," he shouted, reaching up to grab the tray that still held his untouched food and hurling it across the room so it collided against the wall.

He felt the flames stirring inside of him again but he didn't let it out, not that way at least. He looked around the room at all the trappings of nobility that he had no business being surrounded by provided by a woman who kept saying ridiculous things about him deserving life, about his mother loving him, about him being worthy. He channeled all of it into his hands and he found himself running towards the closest thing he could find, a lamp, and throwing it down, smashing it on the floor. He felt feral as he started storming through the room, throwing things, ripping things, destroying anything his hands touched. He felt the flames lick at his back and arms as he continued his tantrum, but he ignored it, letting the fire burn him but nothing else.

Eudora stood there silently the entire time, watching him until he finally ran out of energy and fell back tiredly against a wall, breathing heavily as his hands were clenched into fists.

The minutes ticked by as he stayed there, his eyes sightless towards the damage he'd done and his mind curiously blank. He tensed slightly as Eudora finally moved, walking across the floor towards the tray she brought in and bending down to pick up a piece of paper off the ground.

Ace tensed up even more as she approached him and held out the paper to him. He stared up at her but her face was unreadable. She held his gaze until he took the paper from her.

"Buggy will be in soon to speak with you," she informed him before leaving.

Ace sighed as she did. After her and Shanks, he did not want to talk to the freak clown as well. He was starting to think that that conversation wasn't going to go the way he had been thinking it was.

He looked down reluctantly at what Eudora had given him. It was a photograph he realized. It was an old photo given the signs of wear on it and the less saturated nature of the colors. What was most important, however, was the subject of the picture. It was a woman with long, wavy pink-blonde hair and a pink hibiscus tucked above her left ear. She had freckles on her sweaty, exhausted face. She was propped up on a bed, her head leaned back and resting against a pillow. In her arms, wrapped up in a blue blanket, was a baby. She was looking down at the newborn pup with a tired smile, her face open and loving.

Ace didn't need to guess who the people in the photo were. His legs gave out as he found himself slipping to the floor, his eyes never straying from the image before him, the proof that, for some godforsaken reason, his mother loved him. He had known that, could guess it from her actions alone, but seeing it was something else entirely. He knew he didn't deserve it, but damn did he yearn for it.

A teardrop fell down his face, hitting the picture in his hands. He couldn't even muster the strength to be angry at his own weakness anymore.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there staring at the image. He knew that the day was passing him by thanks to the way the sun moved across the sky reflected in the shadows of the trashed bedroom, but he remained unmoving.

It must've been hours later when the door opened, heavy footsteps approaching him before the new occupant slid down the wall to sit on the ground beside him. He glanced at Buggy briefly but said nothing. They sat in charged silence for a long while, each lost in their own thoughts, before Ace spoke.

"You're not here to kill me, are you," he asked, already knowing what the answer was.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't make it a habit to kill pups but killing you in particular would be much more trouble than it's worth. I don't need the ghost of my pissed-off mother haunting me for the rest of my days."

Ace let those words sink in before he let out a humorless chuckle.

"All of this was for nothing. I thought that you… I figured Shanks brought me here so that one or both of you could kill me for killing Mom. I wouldn't fight you guys on that, but I wanted to leave the island before that happened. That way, I could fulfill my dream of making sure everyone knows Mom's name and how important she was. I didn't want her to be forgotten and I thought that I could… I screwed up and now all those people in Gray Terminal…"

Ace looked down and away, his guilt curdling in his chest like a vice.

"Eight years old."

"What," he asked, glancing over to look at Buggy.

He didn't look back at him and Ace was almost certain he had imagined that he heard him speak at all but then the man continued.

"I was eight years old the first time I killed anyone."

Ace stiffened at that.

"Another crew attacked the Jackson. Captain told Shanks and I to stay below deck, but I wanted to show that I was brave. I was tired of the whispers about my cowardice and the questions about when I was finally going to be a man, even though I clearly fucking wasn't one at eight years old. Anyway, I snuck upstairs to jump into the battle. It was chaos. Guns and cannons firing, swords slashing, so much growling and snarling I couldn't hope to make out my crew's through it all. Blood was everywhere, I could smell it even more than the gunpowder, it was so thick in the air. I wanted to run back down to where Shanks was, but then someone spotted me. It was the other crew's cabin boy. He was barely older than me, ten years old maybe, and clearly terrified too. He was holding a gun, all I had was a pocketknife, but I still jumped at him. I'm not sure why, maybe I listened to too many war stories from the crew, spent too long hearing about how amazing the rush of battle is, how blood on your blade makes you a man. Being seen as strong just seemed like the most important thing in the world at the time. To be honest, it's still important to me."

Ace bit his lip, the words hitting closer to home than he would've liked.

"Anyway, the boy tried to fire his gun, it jammed. I tried to stab him, but he dodged. He was stronger than I expected and we ended up wrestling on the deck, trying to overpower each other for the knife. It was pure luck that a cannon startled him and I managed to gain the upper hand. I stabbed him five times. I didn't even hesitate, I just did it. I had a few moments to feel that rush the crew mentioned, to feel the high of battle, the high of winning. Then the next moment when I realized what I had done… well, let's just say I was in no condition to fight anymore. If Roger hadn't noticed that I was on deck having a meltdown, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Why are you telling me all this," Ace asked after a moment of contemplation.

"Because Shanks and the others are right. It doesn't matter how it happened, whether you unwittingly set a fire or ran out into battle with delusions of being a man, this is the first time someone has died by your actions and it's going to follow you for the rest of your life. The guilt is going to weigh on you and at times it's going to feel like it's crushing you. Captain… Dad called it good guilt. He said as long as you're capable of feeling shame or remorse, it means you still have a conscience. All men need one, otherwise you'll be lost. I think that's bullshit most days but that doesn't mean his advice won't do you more good than it ever did me. Besides, what's the point of having dreams if you don't have a heart? What part of you is your dream meant to fulfill if not that?"

"My dreams don't matter anymore. I don't deserve to carry on Mom's name," Ace replied.

"Mom lo—"

"She loved me. I get it. Shanks has said as much, so has Eudora. Even Gramps has said it. They knew her way better than I ever did so I guess I don't have a choice but to believe them. What I don't get is why."

"I can't help you figure that out, kid. I was as hopeless as you were to figure it out when it came to myself. I was an abandoned five-year-old pup trying to pickpocket the wrong pirates when I first met the crew of the Oro Jackson. I met Mom a year later and I don't know what she saw in me, but she looked at me and she smiled. She said, 'Oh, you're a shining star, Blue.' And suddenly all I wanted to do was prove her right, earn her love. That was a losing battle because the truth is I already had it just because I was me. Same as Shanks. Same as you. There was nothing any of us needed to do to make her love us. I know that doesn't exactly soothe your ego or make you want a concrete answer you can pick apart any less, but maybe this will help a bit."

Ace looked on in interest as Buggy reached beside him and brought a small chest into view.

"The last day I saw Mom, she gave this to me. She knew she wasn't going to be able to see you grow up, knew that you weren't going to have the life you should've. You weren't going to be raised on the Oro Jackson, be a part of the Roger Pirates pack, she knew that the world would likely try to convince you that you don't deserve a place in it and most people would be of the opinion that you were better off dead. She wanted you to have some things to connect you to your family and the life you should've had. She figured it might give you hope on darker days."

Buggy pushed the chest over to him. Ace stared down at it, unreasonably afraid of what was inside. His mother had cared about his quality of life enough that she had prepared something for him in the event of her death. He didn't know what to say or think about that.

"I can't… can you… can you open it," Ace forced himself to say. His own ineptitude and weakness left a pit of self-loathing in his gut but he wanted to put his hands on his mother's present even less. He didn't want to sully it or accidentally burn it.

Buggy didn't comment as he undid the latches and opened the chest to reveal an assortment of items. The first thing Buggy pulled out was the same light blue blanket that was in the photo. Now that Ace was seeing it physically, he noticed that his name was stitched in orange thread at the bottom.

"Mom made this for you. She sucked at knitting so it took her months to get it done. It was supposed to be a onesie at first, but that wasn't happening, so she just settled on a blanket."

Ace hesitantly reached out and took the blanket his mother had made for him. It felt soft despite the years that had passed. It was long enough that he could still use it now. It wouldn't cover him completely but still. Before he really registered it, he found himself spreading it over his legs, his fingers tracing the orange stitches of his name. His mouth twitched as he pictured his mother frustratedly trying to finagle the yarn into baby clothes. He used to imagine his mother as a sweet, innocent angel, the total opposite of Dadan. However, from the stories he had heard he now imagined that she would've been cursing the fabric and huffing mad about not being able to complete the task but would've stubbornly continued with dogged determination.

Buggy pulled out a few other items which belonged to his mother including a mirror, a box of hibiscus tea bags from Baterilla, books about the island's history along with children's storybooks. There was a photo album that caught his attention. Ace could only flip through the first few pages of childhood photos of his mother before he put it aside, not wanting to cry in front of Buggy. There were various forms of jewelry, some that had belonged to his maternal grandparents. However, three items caught his interest the most. The first was a dagger in a light green sheath. It was clear from the quality of the blade that it was being cared for.

"Mom's dagger. It was a gift from Roger. They never got married, that kind of thing isn't really important when you're a pirate, it isn't like they needed a piece of paper to divvy up property, but they were bonded. He gave her the dagger when they officially became mates since it wasn't as if they were going to exchange rings or anything. She carried it everywhere with her. She wanted you to have it because it represents the bond that they forged, the bond that led to you."

Ace stared at the dagger for a moment. He had been excited about the knives Yasopp helped him get but that was just because knives were cool and he imagined he could do a lot of damage with them. He didn't know weapons could have sentimental value too. He examined the sheath and noticed words engraved into the leather.

To my dearest heart. May this blade remain as sharp as your wit. With all my love, to the moon and the stars – Roger.

Ace blinked in surprise. For all that he had spent time thinking about Roger and the kind of relationship his parents had, he hadn't spent that time considering that they were happy together. He had always imagined Roger as an evil seducer who had managed to trick his way into Rouge's heart only to leave her to deal with the consequences after his death. He had never considered that his father loved his mother.

He sheathed the dagger and settled it at his hip. He didn't hate the idea of having something his father had given to his mother.

He put it to the side and turned his attention to the orange hat. It had two long orange side straps hanging down which met at a large medallion of a bull's skull with orange tassels. There was a blue ribbon wrapped above the brim cinched by two pins, one with a smiling face and the other with a frowning one.

"Mom's hat. She and most of the crew were firm believers that the best pirates had to have a hat to complete the look. The bull is a symbol of Baterilla's most favored animal. Bulls are considered borderline sacred on the island. Something to do with its original religion. Mom always wanted to hang on to the island's origins regardless of what ended up happening when it assimilated into the World."

Ace plopped the hat on his head. It was still too big for him, but he'd grow into it, he was sure. The most important thing was this hat belonged to his mother, it had been on her head, and she had wanted him to have it.

The last item inside was the one that gave him the most trepidation. It was a letter, sealed inside of an unopened envelope, signaling that Ace's eyes were the first ones to read this following his mother writing it.

Curiosity burned inside of him, but his fear overtook it. He held the letter for a moment before placing it back inside the chest. He glanced up at Buggy, a guarded and defensive look in his eye, daring the man to comment.

The clown shrugged.

"It's okay if you're not ready to open it right now. The chest and everything in it belongs to you. You can open it when you feel like it."

"Don't need your permission," Ace grumbled, mostly because he could.

Buggy rolled his eyes at that.

"Fucking brat, I try to be genuine and all you can do is moan about it," he grumbled right back.

"Didn't ask you to be genuine, freak clown."

"You little shit."

"Real original."

Ace flinched as a hand detached itself from Buggy's wrist and flew at his head, pushing their mother's hat down over his eyes as Buggy's knuckles dug into his head roughly. He batted the hand away in annoyance once he realized it was an innocuous gesture.

"Eudora just changed my bandages, maybe I should let your girlfriend know you're roughing me up," he threatened while adjusting the hat on his head.

He watched as the beta's cheeks started flaming red.

"My girl— I don't have— she's not my— you little shit! I don't give a damn how you were raised, I'm going to teach you some goddamned manners!"

"Says the pirate. You're blushing by the way. Dork."

Buggy looked away and took a deep breath, muttering to himself about not fighting a literal pup, before he turned back.

"Now, back to the matter at hand before I was so rudely interrupted, there are two other things I thought you might like to have."

Ace sat up straighter at that.

"I know Eudora gave you a picture of you and Mom together plus there's the photo album. There are no photos of you with Dad of course and that picture doesn't exactly show Mom in her prime, but there are other sources that could give you a different perspective on them."

Buggy reached beside himself again and brought out two medium-sized frames, laying them both on the ground in front of Ace. His breath caught as he stared down at the two wanted posters.

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE

GOL D. ROGER

5,564,800,000

"King of the Pirates", Alpha, pack leader and captain of the Roger Pirates.

Wanted for piracy, thievery, murder, destruction of property and conspiracy against the World Government.

Roger was an older man, late 30s to early 40s in the photo, with an open-mouthed grin that bordered the edges of a snarl somewhat softened by his smiling eyes. The same eyes Ace stared into any time he looked in a mirror. Roger's eyes had a spark of something different, something Ace never saw in his own. He saw glimpses of it in Shanks' eyes, Gramps', Buggy's, mostly when anything regarding the sea was mentioned. Maybe it was the look people got when they were able to attain some form of freedom, so it only made sense Ace never had that look.

He turned his attention to the second wanted poster.

WANTED

DEAD OR ALIVE

PORTGAS D. ROUGE

2,997,050,000

"Hibiscus Rouge", Omega, pack leader and captain of the Red and Black Pirates.

Wanted for heresy, piracy, thievery, murder, destruction of property and conspiracy against the World Government.

His mother looked to be in her early-30s in the photo. The poster showed her from her waist up. She was wearing a loose white linen shirt with a beige captain's coat and her orange hat atop her head, her pink-blonde hair spilling out in spirals down past her shoulders and framing her freckled face. She was smiling at the camara, a wide fierce grin that had a sharp edge to it, almost as if she were issuing an open challenge. Her hand was resting on the familiar dagger at her hip and her eyes blazed with that same spark of freedom that Roger's did.

He found his fingers lingering on the frames, totally enraptured by his parents' bounty posters.

"I've had those for over a decade now. You wouldn't be able to find other copies now, not even in a library. The World Government went through great lengths to change Roger's name to Gold instead of Gol D. on all of his wanted posters and change the picture to one of his execution in some paltry effort to kill some of the hero worship and hide his connection to the D. clan. I doubt they would say the former has worked as well as the latter. They erased all of Mom's posters completely. Heaven forbid they ever have to acknowledge that there was once an omega with a bounty that high. Hell, before Mom there were rarely women of any distinction with bounties that high. The World Government raised her bounty even higher after Captain's death, but that number is what she earned on the back of her pirate career putting aside her association with Captain and she was damn proud of it. Now you can be too. They were pirates before they were anything else and they'll always be pirates. They deserve to be remembered that way. Which is why you're going to do everything you can to fulfill that dream of yours."

Ace whipped around to face Buggy so fast that his Mom's hat fell over his eyes again. He pushed it back up to stare at the man incredulously.

"But I—"

"I heard all your reasons and I know how you feel, intimately. Trust me when I say that I'm no stranger to falling into particularly strong bouts of self-hatred. You made some mistakes but that doesn't mean that your dreams aren't things worth chasing. Wanting to carry on Mom's name is something that only you can do. Shanks and I already have our own reputations outside of our parents, for better or worse. There is no Portgas D. pirate giving the World Government hell anymore. That's a real shame. I'd love to see the look on those bastards' faces once they realize that Mom beat them after all, that you survived despite their best efforts. Don't give them the satisfaction of giving up or dying."

"What? Because I owe it to Mom to try?"

"If I said that, I'd be implying that you're indebted to her. She'd come back from beyond the grave to smack me upside the head for that. What I'm saying is that you were born with shackles on your feet and the world has been adding weights to them more and more over time. But your parents were two of the freest people to ever exist. The fact that you're so far removed from freedom is an egregious thing. You'll find freedom in chasing your dreams, at least that's what Mom thought anyway."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm. She said to me once, 'the world is a vast and glorious place. If you seek freedom, it will lie stretched out before your eyes, Blue. And if there's a dream guiding your restless spirit, seize it. Raise your flag and stand tall. Declare your dream for the world to hear and then strive with your whole heart to make that dream come true.'"

Ace felt the words sinking in along with similar words he had heard recently.

"Raise your flag and stand tall, for a man who values his friends is a man who has the greatest treasure in the world already. Seek your freedom with them on the seas, not in death."

"Being a pirate is about adventure and freedom. It's about chasing your dreams and making your goals a reality."

"Destiny. Fate. Dreams. These unstoppable ideals are held deep in the heart of man. As long as there are people who seek freedom in this life, these things shall not vanish from the world."

He thought of Sabo, Uta and Luffy declaring their dreams before the night turned to disaster.

Sabo's dream of leaving the island and sailing the seas to find freedom. A dream he hoped to culminate by writing a book for kids to learn about the world beyond their islands.

Uta's dream of traveling the world free with a pack she could call her own, using her music and unique relationship with it to bring hope to everyone around her, to bring freedom to others through her songs.

Luffy's dream of becoming the King of the Pirates and in doing so, being the freest man alive.

Freedom had never been something Ace thought much about. He had a lot of it in one sense. He spent his days doing whatever he wanted when he wanted. Dadan and Gramps offered very little oversight which left him to his own devices. However, that didn't change the fact that he lived in a world that wanted him dead and because of that, his freedom was limited by his continued anonymity. Following his dream would shatter that anonymity by declaring to the world that the son of Gol D. Roger and Portgas D. Rouge lived and became a pirate just like his parents, a strong one at that, one of the strongest on the seas, if not the strongest. It would put a price on his head and likely escalate the vitriol with which people viewed him. But didn't his parents' quest for freedom do the same thing to them?

He glanced back down at the wanted posters, at his parents' wide grins, their defiance, their challenge to the world and the spark in their eyes. They were unapologetic, they were fierce and self-assured, they were only ever themselves. They were pirates. If Ace wanted to be the same, then he would have to be the same as them. He would have to chase it, want it, own it, with his whole being. He couldn't be Portgas D. Ace and be weak. He couldn't carry on his mother's name by being pathetic.

The words he had said to Sabo, Uta and Luffy the night before came back to him and he found himself repeating them.

"I'm going to be a tough pirate, the toughest, and everyone's going to know my name. I don't care if people hate me. I don't care if they wish I'd never been born. They won't ignore me. They'll know my name because I'll be the strongest. I won't ever lose and I won't ever run away. That's the legacy I'll leave behind when I die. I need to make sure people know my name, because when they know the name Portgas D. Ace, then they'll learn the name Portgas D. Rouge too. They'll learn about Hibiscus Rouge. They'll learn that she was a great pirate captain, one of the greatest omegas to ever sail the seas. She did it with her own crew under her own jolly roger. She wasn't nobody. She was my mom and she was amazing. They will know our name. They will know her. They're gonna remember her, whether they want to or not, and they're gonna remember me," Ace vowed.

He looked over at Buggy as a large grin stretched across the man's face.

"Attaboy. You hold on to that dream. Never let it go. I look forward to seeing your bounty poster one day, Portgas D. Ace."

Ace felt a swell of something close to pride in his chest. Things weren't alright. He still felt off-kilter and the guilt would likely swell up again at some point to knock the breath out of him but as he looked down at his parents, felt the weight of the dagger on his hip and the hat on his head, he felt the spark of determination and resolve in his dream return.

For now, it was enough.

---

Fear. Fire. Blood. Smoke. Laughter.

Uta's eyes cracked open, the images lingering in her mind. She felt disoriented and confused, wondering where she was. For a moment, she was certain she was lying in her grandfather's quarters aboard the Hounder following his rescue of her.

There was a lot of fear then. Fear from Uta as she realized what the bite on her neck meant. Fear as she realized what her Devil Fruit meant. Fear as she thought she'd never see home again, never see Luffy again. The Marine ship had inspired fear in Daku. She remembered his face when he realized which ship was chasing them, his fear when she told him her full name, the terror when Grandpa had jumped clear across the distance and landed on Daku's boat, a crazed grin on his face.

There was blood then too. Blood dripping down her neck after Daku's teeth broke her skin. Blood when Grandpa started punching Daku mercilessly, the sounds of his bones breaking almost as loud as gunshots. Uta was unable to do anything but bear witness to the brutality as she waited for Bogard to arrive from the Hounder and take her away.

There was fire, smoke and laughter when Daku's ship went up in flames. Daku's screams and Grandpa's cackles and the sounds and smell of burning wood.

She felt like the ash and smoke was clinging to her now, she could still smell it on herself, a heavy pall that filled her nostrils along with a faint smell of garbage.

It was the second smell that smacked her back into reality and she found her eyes widening as the events in Gray Terminal came back to her.

Her body reacted before her mind caught up with her. She tried to sit up but quickly regretted it as pain flared through her whole body. She flopped back down against the pillows, the room spinning for a moment as she breathed through the spike of pain.

Her body felt like one big bruise. Her limbs were heavy. Her throat was swollen and her breath rattled strangely in her lungs. Her right shoulder throbbed, probably because she was grazed by a bullet. Part of her right leg tingled and felt rubbed raw. Her back felt like it was a brittle thing. She couldn't see out of her left eye which she belated realized was covered with a bandage. Her head pulsated as well, like there was a drum beating inside of it, but she was alive, miraculously.

No, it wasn't a miracle, it was Shanks. He came for her.

Uta felt tears begin well up, emotions she couldn't name clogging her chest.

When Grandpa came for her, her first and most overwhelming feeling had been surprise. She didn't know he even knew she was taken. She had been resigned to spending her life with Daku and then Grandpa showed up, all righteous fury and alpha possessiveness. Uta knew that they were pack, so it shouldn't have been a shock that her pack elder would come for her, but their pack wasn't the same as other packs she saw on Dawn Island. Those packmates got to live together, be together all the time, their interactions weren't limited to training sessions and a massive feast every few months.

Uta didn't hold it against Garp, at least not much. He had duties and responsibilities. His work was important to him and even though she didn't understand why, she could understand caring about something to the exclusion of all else. The Marines were to Grandpa what Luffy was to her. Uta accepted that a while ago. She only understood later what a risk he took coming after her, taking down Daku instead of taking him in, killing him on Uta's behalf in order to break the bond he forced on her and free Uta of her mate. But then nothing really changed after that. Grandpa brought her back to Dawn Island, she had a tearful reunion with Luffy and by the time she woke up the next day, Garp was gone.

Is Shanks…?

A stab of panic hit her and she tried once again to sit up, an action that caused her whole body to protest. She couldn't hold back the pained moans even as she tried to force herself up and out of the bed blindly. She managed to sit up and throw her legs over the side of the bed. She paused as she looked up and saw Sabo in a bed next to her. The boy was unconscious with a bandage covering half his face. He was hooked up to wires and machines, just like Uta was she realized, looking down at the IV in her arm.

She glanced around the room she was in, the décor telling her that she must be back at Eudora's house. It was just Uta and Sabo in the room but she could hear indistinct voices on the other side of the door. She opened her mouth to call out to someone but her throat seized, sending her into a painful coughing fit.

She startled as a large hand was suddenly pressed against her back.

"Shh, it's alright. It's just me."

She glanced up through watery eyes at Shanks who was giving her a look of concern. Luffy was hovering just behind him, biting his lip as he stared at her with big sad eyes.

"The water pitcher, Anchor."

Her twin jumped to it immediately and returned with a cup as well as a pitcher full of water. Shanks gently coaxed Uta to slowly drink some of the room-temperature water. It helped to soothe the dryness she felt and settle her a bit. Her lungs and chest still felt wrong, but it helped nonetheless.

Shanks guided her to lay back down against the soft pillows and rearranged the blankets around her and Luffy after her twin didn't hesitate to crawl into the bed beside her.

She cringed in pain just a bit when Luffy threw an arm around her and pulled her into a hug, but she didn't break the embrace. She turned her face into his neck and settled into the familiar comfort of his presence.

"I'm sorry," they both said at the said time before they scrunched their eyebrows.

"What are you sorry for," they asked at once before pulling back to stare at one another.

She could make out his concern, worry for her, guilt and 'I-should-have-done-more', 'couldn't-protect-you', 'weak-weak-weak'. Uta shook her head at him.

"I'm your big sister, Lu. It's my job to protect you, not the other way around. You did everything you could."

"I didn't do enough. I was weak."

"You stood up for all of us against a bad man. S'not your fault we weren't ready for him. Besides, I was the one who convinced you to leave and run after Ace and Sabo."

"But I left you!"

"I made you. I'm sorry I used my powers on you that way. I promised I never would."

"Dad says that you did it to save everyone, and you did. Everybody got out."

"They did?"

"Mm-hmm. Right, Dad," Luffy said, his voice growing happier as he turned to Shanks.

"Eudora is taking care of them as we speak. It's been a few days since I've gotten an update, but I know she has things in hand," the omega explained as he sat on the bed beside the twins.

"A few days," Uta asked.

"You've been sleeping for, like, ever," Luffy explained dramatically.

"It's been three days," Shanks clarified.

"How are you feeling, Songbird? Are you in a lot of pain?"

"A little, but what about Luffy? Did Hongo say he's alright?"

Shanks gave her an indulgent smile at that.

"He's back to his old self already."

"Yup, I'm okay. Hongo says I'm a freak of nurture," Luffy declared proudly.

"Nature."

"Yeah, that's what I said."

"Sabo? Ace," Uta continued.

"Sabo's still sleeping. He woke up yesterday. He's pretty banged up but Hongo says he's out of the woods and with the right care, he'll make a full recovery. Same as you. Ace is just like Luffy, he's bounced back just fine."

"Plus, he has a cool new hat. And guess what? It was Hibiscus Rouge's. Isn't that awesome?!"

Uta blinked at that but just hummed, relaxing back into the pillows.

"I really missed you, Uta. You were sleeping soooooo long. I was kind of jealous and wondered if I could sleep that long but Dad kept waking me up. Meanie Dad. Lucky gave me yummy food whenever he did, so I guess it's okay."

"Dad?"

"Ya-huh, it wasn't fair that you got to call Shanks 'Daddy' and I didn't. So, now I am."

Uta froze a bit, her mind flashing to what she had called Shanks in the Terminal. She had been overwhelmed and his scent had been so comforting. Her mind swirled with all the things she had been fervently ignoring and the term had just slipped out past her lips. She glanced over at Shanks sheepishly, trying to gauge his feelings on the matter. He gave her a reassuring smile in return and ran his fingers gently through her hair.

"Oh, now that Uta's awake, are you gonna talk to us now, Dad?"

Uta stiffened but Shanks leaned down and kissed the top of her head, making her relax.

"I will, but not until Hongo takes a look at Songbird first. I'll be right back."

Uta squeezed Luffy's hand as she watched the man leave the room.

"Talk to us about what?"

"Hmm? Oh, Dad says that he's okay with us calling him that but there's some things he's gotta tell us first. I wonder what."

Uta had an inkling. She felt her gut twist in anxiety as she considered that. If Shanks was going to tell them what she thought he was, she wasn't sure about where that conversation would lead. Parents weren't people who wanted her and Luffy, but Shanks did. Shanks showed up out of the blue and decided to love them, to want them, he came for them both in the Terminal. He's stayed with them for a whole year even though he's a pirate whose heart belongs to the sea. She couldn't imagine that Shanks would be their father and not have wanted her and Luffy, but if that's the case, then why did he leave them? Did she really want to know why? And what about after all of this? Was he going to leave them again?

Uta's worry persisted all throughout Hongo's examination of her. Everything he said went over her head but he didn't seem to mind. She looked up when the doctor squeezed her hand gently.

"The whole crew is glad you're alright, Songbird. You gave us all a good scare. We're too young for gray hairs yet, kid. Give us a break, yeah?"

Uta flashed the omega a sheepish smile but didn't otherwise answer.

She watched him leave the room as Luffy settled back in at her side. Her eyes slipped over to Shanks as he sat on the edge of the bed again.

"He's right, you know? We were all worried sick about you. Thankfully, I could feel that you two were in the Terminal. Plus, I imagine there would be no world where you two wouldn't be right in the thick of that kind of trouble."

Uta felt a stab of guilt replace her apprehension.

"I'm sorry that we left without telling you. I really was the one who convinced Lu to leave with me."

Luffy shrugged against her.

"It sounded like a fun adventure. I would've wanted to go even if you hadn't said anything. It was fun up until we ran into those bad pirates," Luffy brushed off.

"I get wanting to go on an adventure but why did you run off without telling me exactly," Shanks asked.

"I thought I could bring Ace and the Fruit back before you had to know. Ace was just being stupid, I didn't want him to get in trouble," Uta explained.

"You wanted to protect him. You did a lot of that the other night. I meant what I said, Songbird. I'm proud of you for helping all those people."

Uta felt a blush coloring her cheeks at that.

"But I forced people to do what I wanted and you said freedom is one of the most important things in the world, that people who take it from other people are the worst."

"I did, but there are exceptions to every rule. You didn't force your will on those people because you wanted to use them, hurt them or steal their freedom away. You wanted them to live long enough to exercise that freedom. How could I be mad at you for that?"

Uta felt a sense of relief that neither Shanks nor Luffy held that against her. Ace might, knowing him, but they could fight about it later.

"Can I ask you a question," she muttered hesitantly, glancing up at Shanks.

The redhead nodded, an open look on his face.

"My whole life, there's been this… thing that's missing inside of me. Like a space that's been empty. I've had Luffy and I know where he fits in my chest. I know where Grandpa fits. I know where Makino fits. I know where everyone in Windmill Village fits, or doesn't fit. But there's still this place where no one has ever fit. Sometimes it's been so empty that it hurts and I could never understand why or what it is or why it's there or what's missing. That space feels like its attached to something far away, something pulling me towards it and I didn't know what that thing was until… until you came to Windmill Village. It was pulling me towards you. I didn't know why for a long time, but I think I know why now."

Uta stopped there, trepidation welling inside of her.

"It's okay, Songbird. You can ask me. I'll answer honestly," Shanks reassured.

She took a deep breath as she squeezed Luffy's hand for silent support before looking into Shanks' eyes, still open and waiting for her.

"Are you… are you our father? Our biological father?"

"Yes."

Uta released a breath she didn't know she was holding at the simple confirmation. Her mind went blank, all the questions she could've asked fleeing in a second as she held her father's eyes.

"Wait, what's a bibliographic father? Is that the same thing as a dad," Luffy asked with confusion.

"A biological parent is someone who you share blood with. In older terminology, they can be your dam, which means they gave birth to you, the way alpha, beta and omega mothers or omega fathers do. Or they can be your sire, which means they helped conceive you, like alpha mothers and alpha, beta and omega fathers. I'm your omega father, which means you grew in my stomach and I gave birth to you."

"Oh. So is that just another way to say you're our dad?"

"Yes and no. It takes more than blood to be a parent. You can be a father without being a dad. A dad is exactly what Makino told you it was. It's someone who raises you, supports you, cares for you, teaches you, protects you. There are plenty of fathers who haven't earned the title of 'dad'."

"How come," Luffy asked innocently.

"In lots of ways. By hurting their pup, neglecting them, abandoning them or just never being there for them. It's why I told you to wait to call me dad until after we talk. Whether I've earned the title of 'dad' is something that should be solely up to the two of you and something you should decide after you have all of the facts."

"But I already think you do all those things that dads do. I don't really care if I came from your stomach or not. I wanted to keep you before I knew all that stuff about dads from Maki anyway," Luffy concluded, shrugging carelessly.

Uta snorted lightly at that, not at all surprised by Luffy's nonchalant reaction. She doubted he cared to understand the implications of anything Shanks had said. His mind was set and that was that. Shanks was their dad in his head whether he was also their father or not. Uta felt the same too, mostly, but also…

"Songbird?"

Uta glanced back up at Shanks from beneath her lashes, looking away from where she had been picking at the sheets.

Shanks' face was still open, ready for whatever she had to say. She thought she could probably rage angrily at him right now and he'd just sit there and take it. But anger wasn't what she felt, not really. She felt tears welling in her eyes against her will and she clenched her fist so they wouldn't fall.

"Why? Why did you leave us? Why didn't you want us? Were we… were we not good enough?"

Shanks' face immediately changed at that.

"That couldn't be further from the truth. You were both perfect from the second you were born. I loved you instantly and I wanted you, so badly. You were never unwanted or unloved for a moment. The whole crew adored you the second you got here."

"Then why?"

"Because I love the two of you too much to risk you growing up the way I did."

"But everything you said about Roger's ship was amazing," Luffy protested.

"All of those stories are true, but there are the other stories. The ones that are too bloody for me to share, the ones that would give you nightmares, the ones that would take those beautiful smiles off your faces. I told you before I had a bounty before I hit my double-digits, I had to kill a man to survive before my 10th birthday, I was kidnapped by people who wanted to use me against my captain. All that happened and much worse because I grew up on a pirate ship and not just any ship, one belonging to the most famous pirate alive. As his pup, I'm an even bigger target than most other pirates and it was even worse back then when I was still considered a rookie. Between the Marines, Roger's enemies and my own enemies, I couldn't foresee a way that you two would be safe on the Red Force. I wanted you to stay with me, what pirate wouldn't want to hoard their treasures? But you both are too precious for me to be selfish. I saw an opportunity where you would be safe, so I took it and I sent you to live with Garp, your alpha father's father."

Shanks sighed, dropping his head for a moment, his face obscured by his straw hat, before he moved to kneel down at the bedside making himself eye level with the twins.

"There's so much I need to apologize to you for. You got sick when you were babies because of me, because I sent you away. You've missed out on so much about what it means to be in a pack because I wasn't with you. You've missed out on having a family. I'm sorry that that was the trade-off to keeping you safe, and I didn't even succeed at that," he continued ruefully, before he reached out to brush his fingers through Uta's bangs with one hand and caress Luffy's cheek with the other.

"I don't expect you to forgive me for the ways I've failed you, but I'm sorry anyway. Most importantly, I need you to know there is nothing wrong with either of you. You're both brave, kind, caring and so good. You make me proud every second of every day. You have my whole heart and soul."

Uta felt a wealth of warring emotions in her chest at that. There was a lot she could say but she found herself glancing over at her twin who was unnaturally quiet. Luffy had a thoughtful look on his face as he scrutinized Shanks.

"You wanted to keep us?"

"I did."

"We're your treasures?"

"You are. My most precious treasures," Shanks confirmed with a wide smile.

"But you gave us to Grandpa anyway?"

"Yes…"

"Oh. That must've made you feel really bad then, huh?"

Shanks let out an incredulous sort of sound.

"Yeah, Anchor. It did make me sad for a very long time."

Uta could see it now that she was looking for it. There was a shadow in Shanks' eyes, a mournful undertone to his heartsong that was often covered up by the more jovial strains of his song. The shadow was banished as a grin took over the redhead's lips.

"You know what made me feel better?"

"Uh-uh."

"Finding you."

A big grin broke out on Luffy's face then and Uta felt her own lips twitching in a small smile.

"I made Shanks happy?"

"The happiest."

"Shishishi, cool! Shanks made me happy too. I didn't like feeling the lonely empty hole all the time either. But now I have you and Uta and the whole crew. Ace and Sabo now too. That makes me happy!"

Shanks grinned widely at the boy before switching his gaze to Uta, still open to whatever she had to say. If she wanted to reject him, she figured he would even accept that.

"Did Ace give you my message?"

Shanks blinked at the non-sequitur.

"He said you could tell me yourself."

Uta rolled her eyes at that.

Stupid Freckleface.

"I figured out the truth a while ago and I was never angry, just confused and a little afraid because I thought you'd leave us if you were our father. I didn't think our parents wanted us, so if that was the case then I didn't want you to be our father. But, if it's not, and you still want us anyway, then what would you say if I told you that I love you? That's what I told Ace to tell you, 'thanks for the adventure', 'thank you for wanting me' and 'I love you'."

"I would say that my love for you has never been in doubt. If you're sure of nothing, you can be sure of that."

Uta met the captain's eyes and saw that same love reflecting within them. For some reason, it was that expression that caused reality to suddenly crash down on her. This was her father, her father, family by blood as well as by choice. He wanted her. He loved her. Despite every thought she ever had to the contrary, despite knowing she was a gamma and how she became one, despite knowing all her flaws and her failures, despite knowing how ostracized and looked down upon she was, he still wanted her and he still loved her.

Tears gathered in her eyes instantly and she bit her lips to keep the sobs building in her chest inside. She felt Shanks' warm arms pick her up and deposit her in his lap alongside Luffy before she was pulled into her father's comforting embrace, Luffy's hand was intertwined with hers still and he squeezed it as Shanks pressed a kiss to the tops of their heads and held them close to his chest.

She settled into Shanks' arms, comforted by the mingling scents of him and her twin. Her chest felt full and not just because of all the smoke and ash that had coated it. It was that place inside of her, that empty space that she'd harbored for forever, it was like light was rushing into it. All the jagged edges of loss were being softened by a familiar and comforting presence. She gasped and then relaxed as she felt Shanks's spirit replacing the emptiness, telling her exactly where he fit in her heart, making his home right beside Luffy.

A smile crossed her lips as that deep pain faded to the background, lost among the other miscellaneous aches of her body. It wasn't totally gone. If she searched for it, she thought she'd be able to find it, but in this moment, safe in the embrace of her brother and her father, that was the last thing she wanted to do.

She closed her eyes and let the mingling scents overtake the smell of ash and fire, let her ears hear nothing but their breathing, their hearts beating, their songs intermingling, songs that completed each other.

She let everything else go and let herself simply be in the moment with her family.

---

AN: Not sure when I'll be posting again, the work schedule is going to be a little hectic for the next few months, but we are in the home stretch. Next chapter will feature a short time skip. I'm going to try to make it not as long as this one, but we'll see.