Fuyumi is 7-10
Touya is 8-11
Natsuo is 4-8
Shoto is 0-4
It isn't long after Natsuo gets his quirk that Touya notices Rei is pregnant again.
He knows the signs now, and he's paying attention.
It seems like confirmation that Endeavor didn't love him. That he didn't love any of them.
As if banning him from training didn't already.
. . .
Zuko has always had a short temper.
It's a trait of firebenders, that their tempers are as fierce as their bending. Just like earthbenders are as sturdy as the earth, waterbenders are calm like a pool of water, and airbenders are as flighty as the very wind.
Of course, comparing an entire group and culture to one thing is never entirely accurate. Uncle Iroh was a boundless source of wisdom and peace. Zuko had hoped he would grow old enough to learn patience one day, like a fire burnt to embers. Still strong, but controlled.
Now as Touya, he feels as through any patience he's gathered has fled from his grasp at any provocation.
And as fire is tied to his emotions, rage in particular, he finds himself spitting sparks whenever he's mad. The lack of control is embarrassing, and that only serves to make it worse. It's a struggle to push down fire when he's around something that triggers him. And as his flames grow stronger with his age, they somehow grow even harder to control.
It has reached the point where, even if he's just thinking about something that makes him mad, he can feel his flames boiling under the surface. A smouldering campfire, smothered by sand, ready to ignite once again at any moment.
He tries to meditate more often, for longer periods of time. He cups his flame in his palms, the most fireproof part of him, and focuses on it, willing every thought from his mind. It helps center him and stay calm throughout the day, unless something extremely upsetting happens.
. . .
"Touya! Touya!" Natsuo screams. "Help! Save me!"
"I'm gonna get you, Natsuo!" Fuyumi raises her hands in a threatening manner, fingers wiggling menacingly.
Touya looks up and extinguishes his flame just in time to witness Fuyumi tackle Natsuo on one of the sparse patches of grass in the garden. She tickles him to death even as he squeals his little head off.
"T-Tou-ya! H-he-lp Me!" Natsuo's words were interrupted by spurts of giggles. "Sh-she's ki-i-illing me!"
"Maybe you shouldn't have eaten my leftovers!" Fuyumi shouts.
Touya smiles and stealthily walks over to his siblings.
"Never fear, for Sunshine is here!" Touya proclaims. "Halt, villain!"
Fuyumi freezes in fear. "Uh, that's not necessary!"
Unfortunately it's too late for her, as Touya starts mercilessly tickling her sides, causing her to squeal.
Natsuo laughs at the karma, only to get pulled in to get tortured along with her.
Touya loves his siblings.
. . .
Rei comes home with baby Shoto seven days before Touya's 8th birthday.
Touya doesn't get a good look at the baby, because Rei clutches the baby to her chest like it's the last time she'll ever hold him. Her hair hides her face, but Touya spots the tear that makes its way down her cheek.
Touya brings Fuyumi and Natsuo into the other room.
There's a certain sanctity in seeing a mother cry. Something strange to see, vulnerability in the person who's supposed to calm you, to protect you, to love you. It shakes something in a child when their beacon of comfort is distressed.
Zuko knew that if he saw his Mother cry, to show an inkling of fear or misery of the situation she was in, he would have worried. Even when she said her last words to him, she merely seemed rushed, not terrified.
Fuyumi and Natsuo didn't need to know what Touya knows about Rei. Not yet, at least.
It's the middle of the workday, so Endeavor doesn't arrive until the evening. The man is such a workaholic, he doesn't even stay home when his wife gives birth. Even Ozai was there to see the presentation of his children to Agni, even if he did so as a mere political formality, not out of love.
Rei stands in the hallway, prepared to display baby Shoto to the man that seemingly would decide his fate. Touya hasn't exactly gotten a good look at the kid himself, so he also stands in the hallway, waiting for the opportunity to officially meet his new baby brother. Fuyumi and Natsuo stand behind him. 'Yumi gnaws on her lip, and Natsuo's eyes are so wide that it's clear he doesn't understand what's going on.
Tension rises with every second that passes. Touya finds it difficult to sit still - he can feel his blood boiling at knowledge of what's about to happen. Endeavor is going to waltz inside, take one look at the baby and immediately ignore him until he gets a quirk. And if the quirk is anything like Fuyumi or Natsuo's that will never change.
If the quirk is like Touya's, maybe Baby Shoto will have a few years of love before he's discarded just like Touya was.
When Endeavor enters, his presence immediately makes the tension near suffocating. Rei looks like she's close to tears again, but is resolutely hiding this fact. Fuyumi folds her arms into a self hug, eyes darting rapidly between Endeavor and Rei and Touya.
Touya clenches his fists, crushes the spark of hope he feels when Endeavor glances at him for a split second, and smothers the very real spark that tries to escape him when Endeavor looks away just as quickly.
Rei slowly presents the baby to Endeavor, angling him so he isn't hidden in the crook of her arm.
Endeavor's attention focuses intently on the newborn, confusing Touya. He follows his father's gaze and scours the baby for hints of what could possibly interest him that much.
Touya squints at the heterochromia eyes, one a steely gray to match Rei, the other a burning turquoise to match Endeavor's own. They are a rare trait, sure, but in comparison to other things Touya has seen on the news, not very noteworthy. The only other thing is the tuft of hair on the baby's head, evenly split between white and red.
Why does that grab Endeavor's attention so much-?
And then comprehension dawns on Touya.
Fuyumi has white hair, with ice powers. Natsuo has white hair, and a 'weak' quirk. Endeavor is clearly looking for a fire quirk, seeing as Touya received attention, before getting discarded for not being immune to fire.
He isn't looking for a pure fire quirk. Touya's own flames already burn as hot as Endeavor's, yet the man did not look for any work around for Touya's weakness. Endeavor does not hold much love for Rei, similar to how Ozai did not carry love for Ursa. It was a merely political relationship - none of the romantics that Katara often mentioned as part of Water Tribe culture. It was transactional.
Touya's knuckles turn white and he feels his flames rise within him.
If Endeavor wanted a pure fire quirk, he wouldn't have married Rei, he would have married someone with a strong fire quirk, not an ice one.
In one of his lessons, Endeavor mentioned that he's still able to have heatstroke, even though he can't be burned.
...Endeavor wants his heir to overcome his weakness by having the ability to cool themself down.
Touya's teeth grind together painfully and his face twists into rage.
Not only was he getting replaced by a baby, but he was getting replaced by a baby because of the baby's hair color.
His fists burst into flames.
. . .
The thing that hurt more is that Touya never really had a chance in the first place.
Even if Endeavor had continued training him, he inevitably would have gotten replaced by Shoto, the sure carrier of Endeavor's desired quirk.
Just as Azula's pure talent eclipsed all of Zuko's hard work.
Perhaps his true destiny is to be disinherited in favor of the youngest in every family he is born into.
. . .
Touya doesn't spend much time in the house at all anymore.
At first he stays in the garden to meditate, but he can practically feel the eyes of Rei from within the house. It interrupts his focus and resets his progress and leaves him spitting sparks even after a three hour session. And since only his palms are truly fireproof, that often leaves the roof of his mouth irritated.
Touya inevitably has to return inside to study with his tutors, and he inevitably has to pass Rei, who cowers away at his poorly hidden signs of suppressed rage. It reminds him of Zuko's time on the Wani, when it was a miracle for him to feel a moment of peace in his relentless pursuit of the Avatar. He had smoke coming from his nostrils more often than not, but his crew was merely annoyed at his attitude, not afraid.
But Rei cowers. She doesn't stand tall in her fear, like Zuko's mother did. Ursa was perfectly eloquent, even when she was on her way to assassinate the Fire Lord and was uncertain of her own fate. The juxtaposition between the mother he used to have and Rei only serves to fuel his anger.
Zuko's anger built quickly and exploded into an outbreak just as quickly, often making him burn in embarrassment when he blew something out of proportion. There were instances when it built up because he had no target. Such as his misfortune and confusion of his destiny, which led up to him screaming at the sky in the middle of a thunderstorm, at the top of a mountain, begging to be struck so he could prove himself. He exhausted himself then.
Touya's rage feels different. More insidious in a way. It builds, but it never vanishes. No matter how much he tries letting off steam, there is no pacifying it. He can only truly ignore it when he is purely happy, which is a rare occurrence. It feels like a starving beast inside him, a burning inferno, that will never be sated.
He doesn't know if it is because he had no true outlet for it, or if reincarnation has somehow twisted him into a different person.
He has no answer, and he is unsure if he will ever have one.
But the fact stands that the courtyard, no matter how much it reminds him of the turtleduck pond in the Palace Gardens, no longer feels like a safe place to him.
So he retreats to a place that is further away from the house, away from prying eyes. There's a thin pathway that connects to the garden and Touya follows it, all the way into the woods that are on Endeavor's property. It's a bit of an uphill hike, but it isn't a problem for him, even with his short legs.
The end of the path reveals a small clearing with a metal sign labeling it as Sekoto Peak. There's a stream running through it, that gathers into a small pond before continuing downhill. Touya assumes it's the stream that feeds into the water displays in the garden.
The majority of the surrounding forest is made of seasonal trees, but there are a few scattered evergreen trees among the thicket. The clearing is free of any dried leaves, needles and dead branches. Touya breathes in the crisp winter air and listens to the rustling of branches.
Amidst the nature, he finds it in himself to loosen up and the faintest of smiles traces his lips.
. . .
It takes a lot of restraint to replicate the bending that Zuko used his entire life.
Touya's fire is larger and doesn't hold shape like Zuko's did. It eats at the air, taking every inch it can, expanding as much as it can, greedy and straining against Touya's will.
He can only ever replicate firebending moves when he is of a level head, otherwise the flames will revert to a standard flamethrower that lacks the grace and finesse Zuko had come to appreciate once he learned the Dancing Sun Dragon.
In his previous life, Zuko often used firebending practice as a way to cool his temper. It was a good outlet for stress and the workout often took his mind off of his worries.
He can't do that anymore, as Touya's flames bloom into something ugly the moment his anger gets the better of his control.
If he practices when he's furious, he'll only spiral as the rebelling flames remind him of what has changed, and everything he's lost.
. . .
Zuko died young.
. . .
One day, Touya tries to follow Endeavor into the training room.
He isn't sure what compelled him to do that. Perhaps he's chasing the last hope that maybe, just maybe, Endeavor will change his mind about him.
Zuko already knows how this will end. He had the remains of his father's displeasure on his face for the rest of his life.
Touya clings on with a hope filled desperation that Enji isn't Ozai. Endeavor is a hero, the number two hero. Ozai was the Fire Lord of a nation that caused the genocide of the entire heritage of a pacifistic people.
Dad loved him once before, so maybe...
Touya is just clawing at what once was, at something gone, dead, and buried.
It felt like his last chance before he was officially replaced by Baby Shoto.
Endeavor throws him out by the scruff of his shirt and shuts the door behind him harshly.
. . .
Touya shouts in rage and punches the air.
Fire blooms from his fist, messy and ugly and pure, just like his rage. His face screws up further in anger.
The air around him is sweltering as he unleashes a barrage of flames.
"It's not fair!" He screams. It isn't!
He had a good six years of love. Dad was distant, but Touya knew he was loved. So why did Dad leave him?!
Is he cursed? Fated in all his lives to be scarred and hurt by someone who is supposed to love him? To have his younger sibling be loved more than he ever was?
Touya screams again, dropping all pretense of firebending forms and just holds his hands out in front of him and lets loose.
There are no tears on his cheeks. The flames evaporate them before they can fall.
The flames are blinding, so bright and pure. It imprints itself in his vision.
His spotty vision covers up the flecks of blue that appear at the edges of the flames.
. . .
Touya comes home with burns covering his face, especially on his jaw and around his eyes.
Rei says something about it, perhaps a warning about not training, but Touya can hardly hear her over the boiling blood in his ears. Her jaw snaps closed when Touya turns and sends a withering glare in her direction.
Touya goes to his room and closes the door without having dinner.
The door slides open hours later and Touya doesn't bother to turn to look at the intruder from his place curled up in his bed.
The pitter patter of footsteps are light and hesitant, and that serves to ease the spike of his temper at them coming in without his permission.
Touya finally turns around and sees the concerned face of Fuyumi. It's dark, with the only light from the hallway coming in to illuminate her silhouette. She sits down on the edge of his bed and he sits up, swinging his legs back to the ground.
"...Mom told me you're not feeling good." Fuyumi says. Touya smiles a bit. He's gotten fevers plenty of times in the past, but it's often because he's overheating, not because of sickness. So Fuyumi learned to cool him off with her hands.
She offers one now, and Touya can feel the coolness of it, even from a distance. He nods and she places her hand so it's just barely not touching his forehead. It soothes the pain of his burns.
Touya manages to smile at Fuyumi, in spite of the pain around his mouth and eyes. He feels his lips crack and a bead of blood squeezes from it.
Fuyumi gasps. "You're bleeding!"
Touya gives a raspy chuckle. His voice is hoarse from the yelling. "Don't worry. Nothing chapstick won't fix."
"...But you're bleeding, you need a bandaid." Fuyumi stated. She hops off the edge of the bed. "Wait here!"
The blood is dry by the time she gets back with her tiny first aid kit. She opens it up at the edge of his bed and carefully picks out a small square one with a heart on the back of it. She peels the plastic back off of it and presses it gently on the now scabbed split lip.
"Thanks," Touya says softly. He pulls her in for a hug, ignoring how patches of his arms are also crispy and how the fabric of her shirt grates uncomfortably against his skin.
. . .
Natsuo starts going to school, and Touya misses him. The house seems empty now that his exuberant presence is gone.
Rei is still a ghost, even as she takes care of Shoto. Endeavor is absent as ever.
So Touya is by himself, with his tutors and his thoughts.
Until Endeavor comes home and announces that Touya will be going to school this school year.
. . .
It's just another sign that Endeavor doesn't care about him. That Touya is just an annoyance and an inconvenience to his father.
Zuko never went to school in his previous life. he never had any friends his age, beyond Mai and Ty Lee who were Azula's friends more than his own. He didn't have friends of his own until he finally allied himself with Team Avatar to take down Fire Lord Ozai.
Touya has no idea how to interact with kids his age. Especially since he has the perspective of having an additional seventeen years of experience. So they aren't exactly his age.
Touya arrives, with a near empty book bag that bounces against his back every time he takes a step. He's wearing a stuffy school uniform that has horrible ventilation and leaves him sweaty.
The building is strange, made of concrete and bricks. It has doors made of glass and strange square lights in the ceiling. He thought he was used to the strangeness of this world, what with the quirks and technology, but he now realizes that he's hardly been outside of his apparently traditional house beyond his singular visit to the hospital when he first manifested his quirk.
Sure he can occasionally peek at the buildings from the backyard, but the majority of the surrounding city is hidden by the foliage of the trees. Walking through the towering skyscrapers is an entirely different experience.
Either way, the school building hardly lets any outside light in when he travels through the hallways. He makes it to his classroom, following the numbers on the plastic plaques on doors. And he tightens his grip on his backpack straps in a false sense of comfort.
He enters to find tiny desks filling the room, arranged in rows and columns, a chair for each. A whiteboard is at the front of the room, along with the teacher who's arranging things at his desk. There are a few kids already in seats, and Touya slinks in under their combined gaze.
He sits in a chair in the back corner and tries his very best not to slump. More kids filter in chatting with people they know. Touya doesn't avert his gaze because he doesn't want to look scared of a bunch of ten year olds.
The teacher starts talking, writing his name up on the whiteboard, and speaking in the dullest voice Touya's ever heard. But he does the best he can to pay attention, because he's heard Fuyumi complain about pop quizzes and Zuko's tutors reported to Father whenever he preformed below expectations and-
-And he spaced out when the teacher was in mid explanation of something.
The kid in the first row stands up, says her name and her quirk and her favorite flavor of mochi.
The next, directly behind her does something, except says his favorite animal instead. The pattern continues until it's Touya's turn.
He stands up, feeling the eyes of everyone in the classroom on him.
"I'm Todoroki Touya, my quirk is flames, and uh, I like turtleducks."
He sits back down, feeling the tips of his ears heat up. Oh no. Now everyone in the class knows he likes cute things. He remembers Azula always made fun of him for it.
But the pattern continues without being interrupted by vicious mockery until the person in the other back corner goes, and then it's over.
The teacher continues to talk about silly things that Touya already knew. But he didn't know it from his past as Zuko, he knew it from his tutors in this life.
After an hour of learning something he already knew, Touya is thoroughly checked out from the lesson. He slowly slouches in his chair feeling irritation blooming in his chest. A piece of paper lands on his desk, showing basic math problems.
Touya's eye twitches. This is a waste of his time.
He does it, because he doesn't have anything better to do.
The teacher walks around the room, and eventually makes his way to Touya's desk.
Touya tries his best not to bristle defensively when the teacher raises his eyebrows.
"You're done already, Todoroki-kun?"
"Yes, Sensei." Touya mumbles.
"Hmm." His teacher nods and moves away.
It feels like ages for the rest of the class to finish. But once they do, it's time for the allotted break before the next subject. Kids get up from their seats to mingle with their friends. Touya can still feel the eyes of his supposed peers, even as they section themselves off in groups.
Touya feels alone in the room filled to the brim with people.
. . .
The rest of the day passes similarly. Touya finishes his work quickly, doesn't talk to anyone, and eats his lunch in solitude. At least 'reading' class was interesting. Not because he learned how to read, but because he can just relax while the teacher reads a story he's never heard of to them.
But going back home, to the familiar environment, is a relief.
He gets back at the same time as Fuyumi and Natsuo, which makes sense considering they all go to the same school building now.
Fuyumi chats about her day in the car, mentioning her teachers name and how nice she is. Natsuo yawns and complains about nap time. He says he didn't get sleep because some other kid was crying.
Touya listens to them with the shadow of a smile on his face. When Fuyumi asks him how his day went, he only says that it was alright.
Fuyumi frowns. "But did you make any friends?"
"Maybe tomorrow." Touya says.
But it doesn't change tomorrow, or the next day. Fuyumi eventually stops asking.
Touya's classes pass the same. He hears about the parent teacher conferences and two weeks leading up to it, he gives his very best efforts. It's Rei who shows up, not Endeavor.
After that, school is hardly given a thought in his mind and he flies under the radar for the next few years.
. . .
One day, Touya comes home to Endeavor's car in the driveway. He nearly freezes up at the sight, pausing for several seconds to take it in while his siblings head inside. Father is almost never home early.
Fuyumi is at the door already when she glances back to him. "You coming?"
"Yeah," Touya shakes his head and jogs to catch up. They head in together to an empty foyer. They both head toward the kitchen, looking to scrounge up an afternoon snack. Fuyumi is just a step in front of him when she stops so suddenly that Touya bumps into her.
"Fuyumi, what-?"
She turns around eyes wide. "Touya, why don't you get started on your homework? I'll get you a snack."
Touya squints at her. He always finishes his homework in class, unless there's a project. He only uses homework as an excuse to be left alone. Fuyumi knows this. Touya knows that she knows this - she's called him out on it before. He goes to look around her, only to get blocked by her again.
He's suddenly frustrated that she's taller than him. She's hit a growth spurt but Touya has always been small even though he's the eldest, so he's currently shorter than her.
"What are you hiding-?" He lurches to the side faster than she can block and finally can see into the kitchen where-
Where-
Shoto is being lifted into the air by Endeavor's big meaty hands. The toddler's eyes are wide and confused. Smoke trails from his hair and there are patterns of frost on his cheek.
Touya feels a sick twist deep in his gut.
Then his eyes land on the expression on Endeavor's face: eyes wide, a sharp grin spread across the entirety of his face. It's the biggest, most desperate, expression of joy that Touya has ever seen on the man.
Everything is scorching hot and all sound is blocked by the roaring of an inferno. There is no fire.
Touya runs .
He wrenches away from grabbing hands, tearing through the house like an animal hunted. Thoughts flee him and all he knows is a building pressure in his chest, spreading to his limbs with tingles and sparks.
He smacks into the back door and scrabbles against it for a moment, managing to fling it open.
He races across the courtyard, steam and smoke billowing off of him as it hits the cool, open air. His bare feet smack against stone tiles that are soon overtaken by hard dirt. His footsteps leave sizzling impressions in the dry grass,
He doesn't stop.
He can't stop-
Not until-
He stumbles into the clearing, heart beating like a rabbit-mouse in his chest, gasping for air that doesn't come.
He's buzzing and numb and hot and-
Furious
-He erupts.
. . .
He can't control it.
A familiar azure blue creeps into his peripherals
(Zuko thinks it's a mere hallucination from the heat)
It spreads through his flames, like a virus.
And underneath the rage-
The flames grow hotter, hotter than they've ever been before.
Terror
Azula's blue fire consumes him.
. . .
A scream pierces the heavens.