I'm still not sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
"How?" An incredulous Gigist demanded. "Chemies are born of evil! How can they take my energy… And not be engulfed in darkness?!"
Hotaro, who was dressed like a cowboy or something for some reason, smiled and looked at the toy Dragon (available in stores now) in his hand, which went, "Gon…"
"That's because… You're a homophone!" Hotaro declared.
"GonGon!"
Gigist stared. "… What?"
"My friends told me all about people like you, who hate people that are happy!" Hotaro yelled.
"Of course I hate people who are happy, I'm evil-" a puzzled Gigist began.
"But by having Nijigon breathe rainbows on them, they were all transsexualized into happy Chemies!" Hotaro continued.
"GonGon!"
"I… What?" Gigist stammered, baffled.
"You might've been the one who created the Chemies, but Chemies… Are living beings, and should be free to love whoever and whatever they want, and you don't get to say there's anything wrong with Wrestler G loving a wrestling coach or Zukyumpire loving a few dozen people or Hopper1 and Nijigon loving me! That's why we won't let you or anyone else trample over their sexy Oriental! That's our Gotcha!" Hotaro declared.
"Gon!"
"… What? What in the world is this 'Gotcha?!'" The increasingly bewildered Gigist demanded.
"My Gotcha is for everyone to be happy, and all the other flavors on the ABCDEFG- specter!" Hotaro said proudly. "And I won't let your homophonia stop that!"
"Is… Is this actually happening? Is he for real?" Gigist asked Nijigon.
"Gon!" Nijigon goned unhelpfully.
"I do not understand! I do not understand a single thing about you!" An increasingly irate Gigist screamed.
"Let's go, Nijigon!" Hotaro told his toy.
"Gon, GonGon!"
"And… Chemies, together!"
"Gon!"
Suddenly, all 100 Ride Chemy Cards appeared and blew past Gigist, striking him as they went and giving him lots of rather nasty paper cuts before they arranged themselves in front of Hotaro and Nijigon, who lit up his ring and shouted "Rainbow Breath!" Just before Nijigon vomited rainbows all over the cards, causing them to shimmer rainbow as well.
"GonGon! With all my senior Chemies, we're a hundred times stronger!" Nijigon, now in his card forms, declared.
Hotaro nodded. "Yes! And they've all been transsexualized so you can no longer turn them into Malgams or cause macroaggressions by livenaming or misogynyzing them or any of the other mean things Isaac said homophones like you do, Gigist!"
It took Gigist several moments to decipher that sentence. "Oh," he said faintly. "I finally understand. You're simply so foolish that you do not possess the intellect to harbor malice."
"Nuh-uh! Mom says I'm her special little boy no matter what my grades say!" Hotaro argued. "I'm a Kamen Rider who protects humans and Chemies, no matter how many penises they may or may not have, something I'm still not entirely clear about! And a future bigshot alchemist!"
Gigist just stared.
Finally, he said, "No," and teleported away.
Hotaro blinked, surprised.
Then he started cheering. "Yes! We defeated Gigist with our words rather than violence! It's a Proud month miracle!"
All the Chemies cheered as well.
"Welcome home, Master Gigist," Atropos welcomed the Abyss King back as he teleported into the lair, looking completely out of it. "Was your mission a success?"
"Is Ichinose… Is he…?" Clotho asked hesitantly before blushing. "N-not that I care about that idiot or anything!"
Gigist wordlessly transmuted a big comfy chair out of the floor and slumped back in it, somehow looking completely done with everything despite lacking a face. "I'm done."
"Master?" The two dolls asked in confusion.
"I'm done!" Gigist announced. "I just… I cannot… I cannot go anywhere near that boy again! He is the stupidest person I have ever met, and I just… What is this I can't even…" He seemed to be struggling for words before sliding back in his chair again. "Screw it, I'm done. I can't even with that kid. I'm gonna let the other Abyssalis Kings have a go at him, I don't care how much Germain and Gaelijah laugh at me, let's see them try to wade through that imbecile's total misunderstanding of everything he's talking about regarding sexuality!"
"You know, Master Gigist, if we had Geryon back-" Atropos began.
"Oh, will you put a cork in it about him already?!" Gigist snapped. "First of all, he never loved you. Second, he's not coming back, especially since I'm pretty sure Germain ate him."
"He what?!" Atropos cried in horror.
"Third, even if he were here, he'd be little to no help, since, last time I checked, he was utterly defeated by Ichinose even before he received this latest rainbow glow-up!" Gigist pointed out. "And finally, I doubt he'd be able to get much of a grip on that idiot's complete failure to sound 'awake' or whatever they call it these days given the sorts of things he did with gold when he thought nobody was looking, as your elder sister discovered for herself!"
"Elder… What do you mean, I'm the oldest Abyssal Sister," Atropos said in confusion.
"Yeah, you are now."
Clotho found herself wondering if she had dodged a bullet… Or if this made Ichinose even more appealing somehow. Shit, was she morosexual?
Elsewhere, Rinne felt a sudden urge to kill rising… Along with something else pertaining to Hotaro.