No Borax, No Glue
"Ah yes, Labour Day...a holiday meant to commemorate the rights and achievements us lowly labourers should be awarded with has been bastardized into another shopping holiday for the general mass of idiots. I guess, what else is there to do- all the pools, beaches, and parks close on Labour Day, so might as well cause traffic jams and go to your nearest retail hellscape to buy crap you don't need for the same discount that we'd offer on a random Tuesday. But who cares if it's all for the sake of- again, a holiday which once celebrated worker's rights, and turned a complete 180 on itself? After all, the most successful Labour Day weekends consist of having short staffs with long hours and non-existent breaks, as you work alongside your geriatrics and fellow preteens. By the way, wasn't child labour supposed to be abolished after the Victorian era or something?"
"Rika! You're on speaker! Everyone can hear you!" Yolei growled.
"Yes, and...?" Rika let go of the intercom button.
"Be careful with that mic! I hired you to be in charge of the intercom because you had the clearest voice out of everyone. Don't make me have to switch you to a different department," Yolei threatened. "Now put out an apology!"
"Fine...," Rika cleared her throat and pressed the intercom button. "Attention Cloud 9 shoppers! For anyone who was offended by my thoughts on Labour Day, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for you. It's weak-minded people with inflated egos like you that make society worse. As for everyone else, have a good rest of your day and happy shopping!"
"Ugh...," Yolei tapped a clipboard against her forehead. "We'll talk later..."
HR Office
"Wow, the Stockholm Royal University of Science? And your middle name is just an initial? Fancy... so why exactly do you want to work here? Did you kill your grandmother or something?" Tai whistled as he brushed his finger across a sheet of paper.
"Would something like that come up on a background check?" a tall, blond man turned a deep, scarlet red.
"I don't see why it wouldn't. Brass tacks, as much as I like you, I can't hire you for the pharm tech position until this background check comes back cleaner than a sober guy's piss. Speaking of, your urine test- pristine," Tai gave the guy a thumbs up.
"I don't want to come across desperate, but I could use a job, any job at this point!" the guy leaned over Tai's desk.
"I like this work ethic. Hmmm, we could always use someone extra on the floor- and this could be temporary arraingement, at least until we get your background check comes back. I don't know why it's taking this long, but I wouldn't worry your pretty, little head about it. If your urine came back clean, I'm pretty sure they won't have any problems with your background check either," Tai dismissively scoffed.
"I don't know if that's how it works...," the guy winced.
"I get the sense that you worry too much about things. Look, with me as the store manager, I want to make everyone feel like they can go with the flow. So first thing I'll do on your career journey here is I'll bypass the background check portion of the application for now so we can get you started in maintenance crew. Sorry it's the only position I can do this for, but it's a foot in the door," Tai shrugged.
"I appreciate it. It's something at least," the guy forced a smile.
"I love the optimism! Welcome to the team, Thomas H. Norstein," Tai shook hands with the guy.
Toy Department
"Not sure if those are on sale, but why don't you grab one and find out?" Izzy stood in front of a shelf stacked with stuffed animals.
"Okay," a young, baby-faced girl with thin brown hair grabbed a random stuffed animal and walked off.
"Jeri, don't grab from the bott...ugh," Izzy groaned as an avalanche of stuffed animals fell to his feet.
"Hey there, don't worry about the mess! I've got it!" Thomas ran up to Izzy.
"That's not necessary-"
"No, it's okay! I work here!" Thomas said as he tried to rearrange the stuffed animals back into place.
"You do?" Izzy raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I know...I don't look like the stereotypical person who would work here, you know?" Thomas shrugged.
"Oh, pray do tell! Are you talking about people like...that guy over there?" Izzy jerked his thumb at a tough-looking guy with his brown hair tucked back in a half-ponytail.
"I...uh- I'm not saying everyone who works here is possibly involved with the Yakuza. That would be completely-"
"Stereotypical?" Izzy smirked.
"Oh...," Thomas turned red.
"Hey, I'd like to let you continue talking out of your ass, but to be honest, I don't have the patience for stuck up people. I might not be the most popular guy around, but let me give you a quick tip if you don't want to be public enemy number one: one size doesn't always fit all. We've got people from all walks of life working here, from whole military families, high school kids, to senior citizens. Maybe you're too good for this job in your overpriced plain clothing, but the rest of us are trying to get by," Izzy pulled a nylon vest out from the pile of stuffed animals and slipped it on.
"Us? You work here?" Thomas stammered.
"I'm the floor supervisor to be exact," Izzy put his hands on his hips.
"Oh...so, I guess I'm not making the best first impression, am I...Charlie?" Thomas squinted to read Izzy's name tag.
"Nope, this is a fake name. Don't want strangers knowing my real one- they feel like they can cross boundaries by pretending as if they're close with me," Izzy covered his name tag.
"Ahh, kind of how like webcam models take on aliases-"
"Did you just compare me to a sex worker?" Izzy's eyes widened in disbelief.
"I...I...I...," Thomas froze.
"You know what? I think we've spent enough time talking. Go back to Tai and get yourself a work vest and name tag. Once you're officially settled, then you can come back and clean this up," Izzy circled his hand over the pile of stuffed animals on the floor.
"You got it... My name is Thomas, by the way," Thomas awkwardly said.
"Awesome," Izzy sarcastically flashed him a thumbs up and walked off.
"Aren't you going to tell me your name now?" Thomas asked.
"No. You're probably the smartest guy in the whole store. With your intelligence, you should be able to figure it out in your own," Izzy yelled.
"I hope my background check clears soon," Thomas took a solemn glance over the pharmacy.
Breakroom
"I know with the Labour Day sale coming up, we might have some school supplies being in high demand! However, certain items that we're going to have to restrict in limited quantities are these," Yolei held up a bottle of glue and a box of powder laundry detergent.
"I think I understand the glue, but what's with the borax?" a tan-skinned boy with cobalt blue hair raised his hand.
"Great question, Henry! You see, under the wrong hands, someone could create an unnecessary mess, and the two most key ingredients needed would be some simple school-grade glue and borax powder. I've already mixed in a bunch of random crap from our cosmetics returns pile, but if we add in then glue and borax like so...," Yolei poured glue into a large mixing bowl. She then sprinkled some laundry detergent on top and started mixing the concoction with her hands and stretched it out. "You see this? You get this slimy gooey mess!"
"Uh...who on earth would do something as stupid as that?" a sulky-looking boy scoffed.
"Don't act like you don't do this in your free time, Koji. Look, main point is that glue and borax are on the prohibited items lists now, so if you're not 18 and over, you can't purchase them! Comprende? No ID- no borax, no glue!" Yolei snapped.
"Anyone else kinda jealous that Yolei gets paid to make slime?" Davis mumbled.
"Shut up, Davis," Rika kicked his chair.
"Thank you so much for your lovely presentation, Yolei! Now before we start our shift, I'd like to introduce two new crew members!" Tai walked up to the front of the room.
"Do you mean it this time?" Zoe excitedly clasped her hands together.
"Or are we adding more name tags to Izzy's reject pile?" Mimi asked.
"You can save us all some time and put your name tag in the basket already. Maybe I can be Thomas on a Tuesday," Izzy shook a basket in Thomas's direction.
"I don't give up that easily," Thomas crossed his arms.
"Everyone, settle down and give a warm welcome to Thomas and Ken! Come on gentlemen, stand up so everyone knows who you are!" Tai flapped his fingers towards his palms.
"Hi, I'm Thomas," Thomas waved his hand and sat down.
"Hi, I'm Ken and I'd just like to say it's an honor and privilege to work here. I can't wait to get to work with each one of you," Ken clasped his hands in front of him and dipped his head in a small bow.
"Aww, that's so nice!" the rest of the employees clapped and cooed.
"Hey! I would just like to add that I will also be happy to work here as well!" Thomas shot back up out of his seat and awkwardly pointed to the ceiling.
"Eh...what a tryhard," everyone began to murmur amongst themselves.
"Was that too much?" Thomas turned red.
"Yeah," Izzy and Ken shot him disapproving looks.
"Okay, I think we've caught up on everything! Here's to another awesome shift! Let's get to work!" Tai enthusiastically said.
"Aren't we supposed to get one awesome shift first, before we get another one?" Rika muttered under her breath.
"Lighten up," a boy with a prosthetic arm kicked the back of her chair.
"You're luck you're-" Rika whipped her head around.
"What? Go ahead, say it...disabled?" the boy popped his arm out and shook it. "It's okay, you can treat me like anyone else, I'm not that fragile."
"Screw you, Ryo," Rika flipped him off.
Sales Floor
"Move out of my way, Blondie. Some of us are here to shine," Ken elbowed Thomas and knocked him to the side.
"Hey!" Thomas rubbed his arm.
"Don't be butthurt. You won't even be here by the end of your shift, I guarantee it...janitor boy," Ken smirked.
"Just so you know, I have a doctorate from the Stockholm Royal University of Science!" Thomas pressed his lips together.
"And yet, you're still here. What, did your doctor's license get taken away for medical malpractice?" Ken mockingly said.
"I have nothing to explain to you," Thomas pressed his lips together.
"Sure sounds like you did five seconds ago," Ken hummed in contempt.
"Hey guys! I'm gonna need you to scatter. Ken, you'll have to make sure and check that all of the restricted items need age verification. I printed out a list of items on this packet, and here's a scan gun. Just scan each bar code and a menu should pop up. Scroll down to product info, demographic, restrict- that's where you punch in the legal age for someone to purchase an particular item, like 21 for alcohol, 18 for glue, you get it. Then to limit the amount someone can purchase, go to inventory, restrict, and punch in the max amount, so again...the max amount of bottles of glue or borax powder someone can purchase at the same time would be 2. Can you handle that?" Izzy pressed a lot of buttons.
"Easy! It doesn't take a doctorate from some European university to absorb something like that," Ken grabbed the price gun from Izzy and smirked at Thomas.
"Oh brother, seriously? Seriously?" Izzy shook his head disapprovingly at Thomas.
"Just what I need...another enemy," Thomas muttered under his breath.
"Thomas, you'll report to Sarah. She's in charge of the maintenance crew. Let me page her," Izzy held his finger up. "Hey Sarah, I have a newcomer heading your way. Where are you? Sending him over now. Thanks!"
"So what's my first assignment?" Thomas rung his hands together.
"See what Sarah wants. She's in the toy department. Heads up, you'll probably be there quite a bit," Izzy frowned.
"Do I want to know why?" Thomas winced.
"Apparently you're a super certified genius, you'll figure it out, if you already haven't," Izzy waved him away.
Toy Department
"Hi! You must be Thomas," a pretty lady with her brown hair tucked in a neat braid flashed Thomas a friendly smile.
"Hi, you must be Sarah?" Thomas blushed.
"Yes! It's okay, I don't bite," the woman extended her hand out for a hand shake.
"Sorry...it's been a rocky start. I apologize if I offend you in any way. I don't think I set a first impression with the floor supervisor, so I'm apologizing ahead of time as a precaution," Thomas shook Sarah's hand.
"Oh, are you talking about Izzy?" Sarah shot Thomas a pitiful look.
"The skinny redhead who wears fake name tags? Is that his name?" Thomas raised his eyebrows.
"Yes. I'm surprised. I'm sorry that you're not getting along, he's so polite. Maybe it's just a stressful day for everyone. This is our first big sale weekend since we've opened, maybe that's why everyone's acting so standoffish," Sarah pursed her lips.
"Uh, sure...," Thomas frowned.
"Now, I know that you're just starting off, but here is a walkie-talkie and headset. This is where you'll get communications for any spills and cleanups. Before you continue, I think you should go to the breakroom and take a quick OSHA training session since you'll be dealing with a lot of chemicals and equipment. After you complete the training, you'll be certified and ready for official business," Sarah gently patted him on the back.
"Okay, thanks...," Thomas nodded and walked to the back of the store. He wasn't sure if it was because Sarah was the nicest person he interacted with in a while, or the prettiest, but there was something about her that made him feel a strange sensation that he never felt before...relaxed. He took a deep breath and made his way to the breakroom where other people were sitting down at tables, blankly staring at a projector screen.
"Dude, take a seat! You're casting a shadow!" the same buff, intimidating man from earlier tapped at an empty chair next to him.
"Uh, okay...," Thomas sat down awkwardly.
*buzz buzz buzz*
"Attention Cloud 9 shoppers! All of our alcohol is on sale for 21 cents! Yep, that means you can get even our Johnny Walker Blue Label is 21 cents! Could be a good gift idea for your boss or anyone you need to suck up to, but I'd wait till Christmas so they wouldn't know you only spent less than a quarter on them. Also, our school-grade glue is on sale for 18 cents...but quantity is limited to 2 per customers! Shop, shop, shop! This has to be the craziest Labour Day sale ever, even I'm excited!" Rika exclaimed over the speakers.
"Hey, can we pause this so we can buy some booze?" one employee asked.
"Does our employee discount apply towards sales too?" another employee jumped from his seat.
"No, sit down!" Tai shook his finger at everyone. "I have to get that checked out...something's off!"
"Attention Cloud 9 shoppers! We apologize for the inconvenience, but we have to shut down our registers momentarily! We're experiencing some technical difficulties, but they will be resolved shortly!" Yolei barked over the speaker.
Cash Wrap
"What the hell is going on here?" Tai yelled.
"Time to buy, buy, buy! Hurry while supplies last!" Rika yelled over the intercom.
"No, don't listen to her!" Yolei took over the intercom.
"I'm just trying to do my job. The registers are still working, so I don't see what the problem is," Davis rapidly scanned bottles of liquor and placed them in a paper bag.
"Ahhhh!" Tai screamed and looked as people were leaving with shopping carts full of alcohol. "Lock the doors! Hey, you can't leave with that!"
"Why not? We bought this!" a kid yelled.
*booooom*
"Whoa, who cut the lights?"
"My register is down!" Angie frantically clicked her scan gun, but the laser light didn't shine.
"Someone, let me hop on your register," Izzy angrily stormed into the cash wrap area.
"Here," Angie meekly let him in her station as he entered a key into her register.
"I can't believe this...," Izzy grabbed a bottle of whiskey and furiously typed away at the register. He pulled out his walkie-talkie and rolled his shoulders back. "Ken, I'm going to need you by register seven."
"Hey, I'm here!" Ken ran over and leaned against the register conveyer belt. "What's up?"
"Can you update the details on this bottle of whiskey? I want to make sure the price gun is working correctly," Izzy handed him the bottle of whiskey.
"No problem...to make sure you get ID verification, go to product info, details, reprice-"
"You're joking! Please tell me you're joking!" Izzy exclaimed.
"Isn't that what you said?" Ken asked.
"I said demographics, restrict! You just priced a bunch of restricted items for less than a quarter!" Izzy punched the cash wrap keyboard.
"Oh...oopsie?" Ken nervously laughed.
"Apparently it must take someone with a doctorate from a European university to get a grasp on this, because how does anyone screw this up so bad?!" Izzy yelled.
"I'm sorry?" Ken turned red.
"No, I'm sorry...it's okay. I got carried away. We'll fix this somehow. In the meantime, why don't you go to the break room- I think there's an OSHA training session. You're going to need it," Izzy took in a deep breath.
"Um, okay?" Ken nodded and slowly retreated away.
"He's not going to be handling any more inventory, is he?" Angie asked.
"Absolutely not, not if I can help it," Izzy grunted.
Closing Shift
"Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, we'll be closing in five minutes, so please bring your carts to the front of your store and make your final purchases now so we can all head home. If you're mad that we're kicking you out, don't be. Remember, your day was better than ours, because you got to spend it shopping and doing meaningless things. We had to spend our day working long hours dealing with you crybaby adults for chump change while the CEO gets to buy another yacht. Just think about that while you pout and make your way over to buy crap you don't need," Rika blared over the speakers.
"Rika!" Yolei snapped her fingers.
"Hah hah, just kidding. Shoppers, have the day you deserve. Take that as you will," Rika yawned into the intercom.
"Ugh...," Yolei rolled her eyes.
"How did you feel about today? Will I see you tomorrow? Please say yes," Sarah pouted.
"Yes, I'll be here," Thomas nodded.
"Thank goodness. Promise me," Sarah held out her pinky.
"Uh, okay? I promise," Thomas wrapped his pinky around hers.
"Okay, I better see you then," Sarah smiled and walked off.
"Oooh, does someone have a liking towards the maintenance crew manager?" Ken snuck up behind Thomas.
"What would make you say that?" Thomas blushed.
"Have you seen yourself in the mirror?" Ken let out a small snort.
"I heard you had a great day. I guess you made just as much of a good impression on the floor supervisor as I did. Maybe even better," Thomas teased.
"At least I know his name. He told me," Ken smirked.
"Did he?" Thomas crossed his arms.
"You know Sarah's gotta be like thirty-something. She's too old for you...unless you have mommy issues. Do you have mommy issues?" Ken narrowed his eyes and leaned in close to Thomas.
"Ken, I think we should probably try to get along. After all, we're on the same team now- maintenance crew buddy... I'll see you tomorrow, unless you want to contribute your name tag to the floor supervisor's basket of rejects," Thomas patted Ken in the back and walked away.
"At least people like me!" Ken yelled to no one in particular.