Sorry for the delay! I wanted to revisit them a bit on my own before posting.
See you Wednesday!
Reminder that the rest of this story is for the people who ~want it~. To those guests telling me to just stop and end this story already, this isn't for you and what the hell are you doing here, loca? F off lol
52
- slow and steady -
While Edward books us flights to Seattle, I email my lawyer to tell her I want to dismiss the divorce and ask for the next steps to make that happen.
It feels surreal.
It feels right.
After overpriced flights are booked for 1 p.m. tomorrow, Edward suggests we call his parents. We agree we'll tell them we're spending the holiday with them, and that we're finally going to try to make our marriage work. But when it comes to the gender of the baby, we decide it'll be more special to share in person.
Sitting together in his leather chair, we FaceTime them.
They don't seem shocked to see us together, which puts me at ease. When Edward says we're spending Christmas with them, they seem genuinely happy. But a whole new wave of emotion is brought on when he mentions our reconciliation. He keeps it vague, which I appreciate, but it's enough for Esme to be moved to tears.
His parents' excitement and acceptance immediately lessen the nerves I have about joining them for the holiday.
Edward goes back to the hotel afterward to pack. I don't offer for him to stay the night with me because I'm not trying to push boundaries, and he doesn't ask to stay, either.
I was serious when I said I don't expect us to rush things. To live together or wear rings right away.
So when he leaves, pressing a sweet kiss to my cheek, I feel confident in us.
Slow, I remind myself.
Steady.
The next morning he shows up with a duffel bag and breakfast from a bakery. He's casual in jeans and a jacket over his hoodie, and I love seeing him dressed down because it's so rare.
We Uber to LAX together. Since it's Christmas Eve, the airport is pure chaos like we expected, but Edward and I stay in good spirits, the high of being together overshadowing minor inconveniences like long lines and obnoxious holiday travelers.
I doze on the flight, head falling forward until Edward wordlessly offers his shoulder as a pillow. The move is tender, and I relax against him.
Before I know it we've landed.
When we finally get our bags and make it outside of the airport, he calls his dad and tells him where to meet us. It's just after 4 p.m., so the sun is already hidden behind the Olympic mountains, leaving behind a muted blue sky.
It's a little strange being back and feeling like a tourist in the city I once called home. But it also feels good in a new way. I know a big part of that has to do with Edward being here with me. I don't think Seattle would feel the same without him and it just proves that home isn't a physical place but a feeling; a person.
"My dad's a few minutes away," Edward tells me after he hangs up, his breath appearing with his words.
I bounce in place on the sidewalk, both anxiety and the Seattle winter making my body vibrate.
"I'm nervous," I confess, watching the congestion of cars idle outside of the airport.
"If you feel uncomfortable at any point, we can get a hotel," Edward promises. "My parents would understand."
"We?" I ask, chest squeezing with want. "Like, you'd stay with me?"
His face is unreadable when he says, "I don't have to. Whatever you want. We can feel it out."
"Yeah, we can. But I already know I'd want you with me," I reassure him. "But I don't mind staying with them. You know your mom has been cleaning the house since we hung up with them last night. I can't let all of that work go to waste."
Edward smiles a little. "You know her so well."
"I'm just bummed I didn't get them a gift. It feels rude. But maybe we can stop somewhere later?"
"First of all, we'll say the gift I sent them is from the both of us. And second, your coming home is more than enough. Not to mention, you're giving them their very first grandchild. I'm pretty sure you just got out of gift-giving for at least two years," he jokes, the blustery wind blowing a lock of hair across his forehead. "Revel in it while you can."
"Only two years?" I scoff, pretending I'm offended as I reach up and brush his hair away.
"Well, yeah. Until we give them their second." His face falls after he says it. Like he got caught up and the words just slipped out of his mouth. "Sorry. I don't know why I said that."
"Don't be sorry." My heart clenches in a bittersweet way as I stare up at him. "We never talked about more kids in the past."
"We didn't talk about a lot of things," he says earnestly.
"I'm so incredibly grateful for this baby," I whisper, grabbing onto his jacket with both hands. "But when the time comes, if we ever decide we want more and it doesn't happen… I'll be okay."
"We'll be okay." He brushes my bottom lip with his thumb before dipping his head closer to whisper, "Can I kiss you?"
I reply by closing the delicate distance until our mouths meet.
It's tender at first. Soft with intention. I know when he's about to pull away, so I tug him closer, keeping his lips on mine and deepening it. I can feel him smile a little against my mouth, and we get lost in it.
Until a series of honks startles us, and we look over to see Carlisle's Lexus by the curb.
"Great timing," I laugh under my breath, a little embarrassed.
"Caught making out with my wife," Edward jokes, voice low. "That's a new one."
Carlisle jumps out of his SUV and there's no time for awkwardness or hesitancy because I'm immediately crushed in a bear hug.
"Easy, Dad," Edward warns, sounding amused.
"PDA must run in the family," Carlisle laughs heartily then lets me go. "It's been too long. Missed you, kiddo."
"Same," I say softly, my nerves turning to appreciation. "Thanks for letting me crash Christmas."
His eyes still hold that fond, familiar twinkle. "It's not crashing when you're family."
My throat tightens from his warm sincerity and I just smile.
"Hey, Pops," Edward says, as his dad claps him on the back in greeting.
"Hey, Pops, yourself," Carlisle quips with a smirk. "Here, let me get those."
He offers to load our suitcases in the trunk as Edward opens the passenger door for me.
"You sit with your dad. I'll take the back," I tell him.
"Woman, get in the front seat," he says in amusement, not budging until I slide into the car.
Carlisle talks the entire drive but I appreciate listening and not having to fill the silence myself or answer questions. He covers sports, the trip he and Esme are taking next year, and how they're thinking of selling their house and downsizing.
That last one hits me hard. I'm just getting the Cullens back and I'm not sure I like the idea that everything could change again. Even if it's not necessarily bad. Just different.
"So, this could potentially be your last Christmas in this house?" I ask, nostalgia coiling around my already tender heart.
"Guess so, depending on how everything goes," Carlisle replies.
I stare out the window, letting Edward and his dad take over the conversation, watching the city pass by as the last bit of daylight drains from the sky.
When we pull into the driveway, I find comfort in the familiarity of their house. The Christmas tree still glows proudly from the front window. Their outdoor decorations still adorn the outside, classic with its white lights and welcoming wreath.
"Are Allie and Jasper here?" Edward asks, maybe for my benefit. Or his.
"Not yet," Carlisle says, putting the car in park. "They're coming over around six." I'm grateful we have a little time to get situated without Allie's presence until Carlisle adds, "We didn't tell them you two are here so it's gonna be a nice surprise."
I'm not so sure about that but I stay quiet, hoping Edward can give her a call before they arrive later.
The second the three of us get out of the car, the front door opens and Esme appears like she was waiting for our arrival.
Emotion assaults me, but I try to hold it together.
"Found these two hooligans at the airport," Carlisle jokes, moving toward the trunk. "Brought 'em home, if that's okay."
Esme and Edward chuckle, always indulging Carlisle's humor.
"How charitable of you, Dad," Edward snarks.
"Charitable is my middle name," Carlisle says, further teasing.
"They've been here less than a minute, honey. It's not a marathon to fit in as many dad jokes as you can," Esme tells him, shaking her head and fighting a smile, her kind eyes on me.
I'm grateful for the lightheartedness of their banter because the feeling in my chest is suddenly very heavy.
Edward helps his dad get our luggage, and their chatter fades out the closer I get to Esme.
"Hi," I say lamely, unsure how to start this reunion of sorts.
Esme's grace and sincerity save the moment as she pulls me in for a warm hug and says, "Welcome home."
The heaviness I was feeling lessens, Esme's words a balm to my heart. Even so, some tears are shed between us as we hug, but they're mostly happy.
"They've been here less than a minute, honey, and you're already blubbering," Carlisle pokes fun the way she did, his voice holding a certain fondness as Esme and I break apart.
"Did you expect anything less?" Esme laughs, while we both dab at our eyes.
"No," Edward and Carlisle say simultaneously.
We all move inside and Esme and Edward exchange a hug.
"So good to have you both here," she says softly, then turns back to me. "First thing's first. Show me that belly."
I laugh, feeling slightly self-conscious but remove my coat. Edward grabs it from me and hangs it on the hook by the door along with his.
Esme audibly awws. "Have you felt him or her kick yet?"
I glance at Edward and we exchange a wordless agreement.
"We're having a girl," I say, and Esme covers her mouth in surprise.
"A baby girl!" she exclaims, shaking Carlisle's arm in excitement. "We were hoping so."
"Us too. I still can't believe it," I say in disbelief, smiling as Edward brings a hand up to squeeze my shoulder affectionately. "But yeah, I've felt some flips and flutters but nothing too crazy."
"The further along you get, the more active she'll be and it'll feel like she's dancing on your flipping bladder," Esme laughs. "That's what happened when I was pregnant with Edward. He was a maniac in the womb."
"Still is, outside of it," Carlisle quips.
We all laugh.
With a good-natured grin, Edward says, "Ahh. Wouldn't feel like home without getting roasted."
"Or a little toasted," Carlisle adds, smiling. "It's almost cocktail hour. Can I get y'all a drink before I start dinner?"
"I bought sparkling cider for you, Bella. So you wouldn't feel left out," Esme tells me.
"You didn't have to do that," I mumble.
"Of course, I did," she says simply. "Why don't you two get situated and take a breather, then come find us for drinks."
"Yeah," Edward says, looking over at me. "I might shower."
"I'm not sure what you want to do for sleeping arrangements, but unfortunately, our second spare room is out of commission," Esme tells us.
"It is?" Carlisle asks, looking confused. "Which one?"
"The one upstairs. The guest bed broke, remember?" Esme says not sounding at all convincing.
"When? And how?" Carlisle wonders, and I get the feeling Esme is trying to force us into a room together. Edward must think that, too, because he briefly glances over at me, catching my eye and fighting a knowing smile.
Esme doesn't expand on her husband's questions but says, "If you two don't want to share a room, there's always the couch, Edward. It's awfully uncomfortable though. And the living room gets a little drafty at night."
"Tempting," Edward says dryly then looks at me for confirmation.
"We can share a room," I agree. "Only if you want."
"That's fine," he says with a small nod.
Esme beams. "I already set everything up for y'all. Fresh sheets and clean towels. We'll be in the kitchen, so just holler if you need anything."
"Thanks, Mom," Edward says grabbing our luggage as I thank her, too.
I follow him down the hall to the guest room. The lamps are already on, and the large room is immaculate and inviting with some Christmas decor sprinkled throughout.
Edward closes the door behind us, and even though I love Esme and Carlisle, I'm glad for a moment alone with him.
I sit on the end of the mattress.
"Did your mom just pull the 'there's only one bed' trope on us?" I ask, amused.
Edward smirks. "Without a fucking doubt," he laughs and sits next to me. "I'm sure she's very pleased with her scheming."
"But it was supportive scheming. She had good intentions."
"I know," he agrees softly. "You're okay sharing a room though? I don't mind taking the couch. Or busting into the likely decent guest room upstairs that most definitely doesn't have a broken bed."
I smile a little. "No, don't ruin her fun. I want you to stay with me. If that's okay."
"I want that, too," he agrees, his gaze tender.
Exhaling a heavy sigh, he lies back on the mattress.
I should start getting ready for tonight, but I take advantage of this moment alone with him and lie down, too. He instantly lifts his arm, inviting me closer to snuggle against his soft sweatshirt.
"How are you doing so far?" he asks, checking in. "It's not too much?"
"No. Not yet, anyway. I'm good and your parents are amazing."
"They're really happy we came."
"Are you happy?" I ask. "You don't regret passing on the game tomorrow?"
"No, I don't regret that. I would've only done it if you and I weren't spending the day together. Like I said, it would've kept me busy. I merely needed a distraction."
I angle my head to look up at him. "Did Cecily give you a hard time?"
He hesitates. "A little. She wasn't happy. I emailed her last night when I got back to the hotel, and she called me this morning. She said my success is her success. I told her I didn't like having my professional choices heavily tied to someone else's ambition."
"Maybe you should've thought about that before you hired her," I say because as much as I don't care for a woman I've never officially met, I can understand she has a job to do. "You don't need a publicist. You are your marketing tool. Your charm, your work ethic. Your passion for what you do."
With our faces close, his eyes light up when he smiles at my compliment.
"Yeah, I should've put more thought into hiring her," he admits. "But at the time I wanted the distraction of opportunity so it made sense."
"So, then what?" I wonder. "Now you're stuck with her?"
"For now. But I said if we're going to continue working together, she needs to know holidays are off-limits. Holidays are for family. She knows I'm going to be a dad. She knows we're together."
His admission sends a shock of security through me. "Thank you," I whisper.
He presses a gentle kiss to my temple.
"If we have time, I want to reach out to Marcus while we're here," he says, mentioning his old podcast co-host. "Just to check in, catch up."
"Okay," I agree. "I bet he'd like that."
A flash of uncertainty passes over his face when he says, "Do you want to see your folks at all?"
"No," I say, abrupt and honest. "We aren't here for long, and I just want these next few days to be spent with the people I love and the ones who don't treat me as an afterthought."
He pulls me tighter against him, lips brushing my temple again. "Okay."
"That being said, I'm nervous to see Allie, so you need to call her." After a split second of insecurity, I add, "Warn her that the evil sister-in-law is back."
"You are not evil," he firmly corrects. "And I don't know. I kind of like the idea of throwing her off and getting her genuine reaction. Let her act like a brat and watch my mom put her in her place."
"Edward."
"What?"
"That gives me so much anxiety."
He searches my face, maybe realizing his joke didn't land. "You want me to call her now?"
"Yes. Please."
Sitting up, he fishes his phone out of his jeans pocket. He keeps it on speakerphone, and I sit up while the line rings, resting my forehead on his shoulder and waiting.
"Hey!" Allie answers. "Merry Christmas Eve."
"Hey. You too," he says, not as upbeat as her. "So I came home for Christmas. I'm at Mom and Dad's right now."
"Really?" she asks, excited.
"Yeah. Bella's here, too."
The line is quiet and I wish Edward had told her she was on speakerphone, only to ensure she doesn't accidentally say anything bad. Or maybe that's exactly why he did this, so he can squash any drama before it begins.
"Why didn't Mom tell me?" she asks.
"I don't know," he drawls, uncaring. "Maybe because she doesn't have to run everything by you? Bella and I just decided this last night."
"That's great," she says, her tone shifting from eager to composed. "I'm excited to see her."
"Good. You should be," Edward encourages but not gently. He says it with firm conviction. "She's pregnant with your niece so I need you to treat her like the family she is and always will be."
In one swift sentence, Edward just thwarted any question about where we stand. And I love him for it.
"Niece?" Allie echoes, her tone more tender now.
"Yeah. We just found out yesterday that we're having a girl."
"I'm happy for you guys." It sounds like she means it until she adds, "It must have taken a lot for you two to forgive each other and move past all of that insanity."
I'm not sure if Edward catches the slight judgment in her tone, but I do. Like she thinks everything we endured was too much and it's a shock we're going to make it. I mean, I understand to an extent. We have been through a lot and things look different from the outside looking in. But we decided to stay together and make it work, so her opinion doesn't matter.
I stand, needing to pace to get some of this anxious energy out.
"What we did to get to this point in our marriage doesn't concern you," Edward says seriously.
"I never said it did," she counters, but not argumentatively. "Do you think Bella will want to talk with me? Or is she over everything?"
His eyes flick to mine and I just shrug. I don't need us to rehash everything. But I also don't feel like putting the energy into avoiding her.
"I think that will heavily depend on what you have to say to her and how you say it," Edward answers.
Allie's quiet. "Okay. Well let me finish getting ready, and Jasper and I will head over there."
After they hang up, Edward scrubs a hand over his face.
"I need to tell you something," he says, and it creates alarm in my bones.
"What?"
"It's nothing bad," he prompts after catching my worried expression. "But… after Allie visited LA, I guess she tried to tell my mom what happened between you and me. Like, why we initially split."
"What?" I blurt. The idea of Esme and Carlisle knowing what we engaged in with Maria makes me so, so uncomfortable. "That's pretty fucking bad, Edward. What exactly did Allie say?"
"I don't know, to be honest. My mom said she shut the conversation down before Allie could tell her everything, and I didn't want to ask for specifics because it was awkward. So it could be nothing. It could be something. And I'm sorry for not telling you sooner."
I cover my face. "I can't believe she'd violate our trust like that."
"I know. It's why I'm still fucking pissed at her. It wasn't her place at all, and I'm not sure what she thought she would achieve by doing that."
I drop my hands, rubbing them over my stomach, trying to stay calm.
"How am I supposed to face your parents now?" I ask him.
"You already have faced them, Bell," he reminds me, tugging on my arm so I'm standing between his legs. "You saw how happy they were to have you here. They don't care, okay? My mom knows Allie overstepped. Don't stress."
I know he's right and what's done is done. I'm not sure how I would've reacted to hearing this before we left, but knowing how kind his parents were upon our arrival helps to reassure me.
"Okay," I whisper, resigned. "Thank you for telling me, I guess. I'd rather know now than find out when she blurts our private shit at the dinner table."
"Please don't worry," he murmurs, his fingers lightly trailing up the sides of my thighs until he's holding my waist and kissing my stomach. "I'm not going to tolerate it if Allie tries to start shit. And I won't let her disrespect you or our marriage in any way. Okay?"
I thread my fingers through his hair and lower my head to kiss him, loving how fiercely protective he is.
With one, two, three pecks on his mouth, I say, "Okay."