A/N: Buckle up, my loves! This one is quite the ride! I hope you enjoy!
Though she had no idea how she knew, the moment Abbey woke up, she knew something had changed. She didn't have the slightest idea of what had changed, but she just knew, as surely as she knew her own name, that something was different. Jed had already left for school by the time she forced herself out of bed, and she sighed as she tried to wake up fully. She made her way into the living room, intent on making herself the strongest cup of coffee she could find, and when she found the remnants of her favourite blanket in the trash, she blinked, trying to pretend that it didn't bother her.
It didn't work. Her tears spilled over, hot and angry, though she didn't really blame Heathcliff, and as she sank down into a chair, she laid her head on the kitchen table, crying harder than she had in weeks. As she cried, she tried to force herself to stop, reminding herself that it was just a blanket, that it didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but it was no use. She cried until she was nearly sick, rushing to the sink as she felt the bile in her throat, and though she managed to keep from vomiting, she was slightly alarmed at the intensity of her reaction.
She knew it was likely a result of the uneasiness she'd been feeling ever since she'd woken up, but it still startled her, and as she made her way back to the table, she reached weakly for her coffee cup, jumping back when the shaking of her hand caused the contents to spill onto her skin.
"Shit!" she whispered, jumping back from the scalding liquid.
Heathcliff looked up at her from his position under the table, tilting his head curiously at the tone of her voice, and she sighed.
"Well, this is shaping up to be a glorious morning."
She was suddenly overcome with the need to be near Jed, though she couldn't have explained why, and as she made her way into the living room, she glanced at the puppy trailing behind her.
"Heathcliff, if I leave you alone for a few hours, do you think you can be a good boy and not destroy the apartment?"
He barked softly, wagging his tail, and she laughed as she began walking down the hallway.
"I suppose I'll take that as a yes…"
She dressed quickly, throwing on a simple skirt and shirt that she could have sworn she remembered fitting more snugly than they were at present, but she brushed the thought aside, leaning down to kiss Heathcliff as she slipped into her shoes.
"Be a good boy. I love you, you little demon."
Abbey spent the duration of her trip to the university trying desperately to remember which classes Jed had mentioned having that day, but she needn't have worried, because she spotted him walking with Neil just as she approached the building that was home to the vast library.
"Jed!"
He glanced up at the sound of his name, walking as quickly as he could to where she was standing, and as he looked at her, his smile turned to an expression of worry, making her wonder if coming here had been a bad idea.
"Abbey. What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"
She nodded.
"I'm trying something my psychiatrist said and leaving the apartment for a bit. Since I was nearby, I thought I'd come say hello. Is that a problem?"
He shook his head, his smile returning.
"Not at all. I was just worried that something had happened. Where are you headed after you leave here?"
Abbey shrugged.
"Not sure. I hadn't thought that far ahead."
She saw the flicker of an emotion she couldn't quite place cross Jed's eyes, but he said nothing, merely moving to kiss her lightly.
"Well, this was definitely the best surprise I could have gotten today. I'd forgotten how incredible you look on a campus."
She laughed, rolling her eyes.
"Don't worry. I'll be back on one soon enough and it will hopefully be Harvard."
Jed nodded.
"It will be, babe. Hey, Neil and I were just about to grab lunch, do you want to come?"
"Is that allowed?" she asked skeptically.
"Sure. Loads of people have lunch with their spouses here. And I know Neil would love to see you. Truth be told, I think he has a little bit of a crush on you."
"Well, I'd hate to disappoint my fan club of one."
"Two, baby," Jed said, kissing her again, "And I'm the president of that club."
Abbey laughed, nodding her head to where Neil was still watching them a few feet away.
"Well, let's go, Mr. President. You can't keep your constituents waiting."
He laughed as they began walking to where Neil stood waiting, and when she greeted him, she noticed the way his eyes instantly lit up, lending credence to Jed's theory. To his credit, Jed didn't draw attention to it, merely smiling at her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and as they entered the small cafeteria, he kissed her cheek.
"You've made my day better than I could have ever imagined with your impromptu visit."
She smiled as he led them to a table, smiling more when he held out her chair for her.
"Thank you. And you can thank Dr. Gillan for that," she lied, her smile perfectly in place, "She suggested that I try getting out of the apartment for a while."
This was true, but it had nothing to do with her sudden desire to be close to him, but she didn't think she could have explained it even if she'd tried. He left her briefly to retrieve their food, and when Neil sat on her other side, she gave him a smile.
"How are you feeling about the French test?"
"Better. Still not great, but you've been a fantastic help. I can never thank you enough."
"Don't mention it," Abbey replied with a warm look, "I was happy to provide assistance. And you definitely repaid me by giving us Heathcliff. That little demon makes my days so much better than they were before. Thank you so much for that."
"Well, Jed mentioned once about you loving dogs and that he had wanted one eventually, so when the opportunity came around, I decided it couldn't hurt to offer. He also mentioned something about him being drunk at the time, but I have a hard time imagining Jed drunk."
Abbey threw her hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter, shaking her head in amusement as Jed walked back to the table, and as he sat down, he looked between them curiously.
"What's so funny?"
"Neil said he can't imagine you drunk," Abbey answered through her laughter, "Neil, it's the greatest experience in the world. Drunk Jed makes you question sober Jed's intelligence beyond all belief."
"You're pretty amusing yourself when you're drunk, Abigail," he pointed out.
Neil smiled.
"What's that like, Jed?"
Jed rolled his eyes jokingly.
"She never shuts up," he replied, earning himself a light smack to his arm, "She'll talk about anything and everything until she finally passes out. It's actually incredibly adorable."
"Keep talking and I'll kill you in a way that's incredibly adorable, Jethro," Abbey threatened.
"Don't call me that," he replied with a smirk.
"No, I think I will," she answered, reaching over to steal one of his French fries.
"Hey! Hands off my lunch, Abigail Bartlet!"
Abbey laughed, stealing another one before he could stop her.
"We're married, Jed. What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine."
"I knew I'd regret those vows one day…" he muttered.
"Hush," Abbey chastised him lightly.
They continued to eat in silence for a few moments and when Abbey broke the quiet to ask Jed the date, he gave her a curious look.
"The fifteenth, why?"
"I was supposed to call Millie yesterday and I completely forgot," she said, "I guess I'll call her when I get back. Speaking of which, I should probably get going before our demon puppy destroys the apartment in protest."
Jed laughed.
"He's good at that."
Abbey stood, kissing Jed lightly, waving at Neil once before walking away.
"Good luck on the test! I'm sure you'll do great!"
As she walked across the campus to wait for the bus, she tried to control her panic. How could it be the fifteenth already? She knew Jed would have no reason to lie about the date, and as she climbed onto the bus, she took a slow breath. Maybe she was wrong. She had to be wrong.
She just had to be.
When Jed walked into the apartment several hours later, he was surprised to find Abbey sitting on the couch, a serious expression on her face, and as he took off his jacket, he looked at her curiously.
"You okay?"
She didn't so much as look at him, her voice flat when she spoke.
"Jed, we need to talk."
His heart immediately sank, and he tried to think of anything he could have done to warrant anger or fury, completely drawing a blank. Still, there was no denying that something was bothering her, and he sat down next to her, his eyes worried.
"Okay. What is it? Did I do something to piss you off since two?"
She shook her head, pointing to a small object sitting on the coffee table. Reaching for it slowly, it took his eyes several moments to understand what he was looking at, and when he finally did, he looked at her as though she were playing a cruel joke.
"When did you—how—"
He didn't even know what he was trying to ask her, but she shook her head slowly, not seeming to mind.
"Two hours ago. I just knew something was different, but I didn't know what. Now I do."
"Abbey…you—you're serious about this?"
"Jed, I wouldn't lie about something this significant. You know that."
He nodded. He did know that.
"I just…holy hell, Abbey…you're pregnant."
"Yes, Jed," she muttered sarcastically, "That was the entire reason I told you we needed to talk. The bigger question is what are we going to do about it? We're an entire country away from home, which means I'll have to see a doctor here, it also means that our families won't be able to help us if we need it…there's just so much to figure out now."
He nodded, thinking quickly.
"You're sure it's accurate?"
"I've already made an appointment for a blood test just to confirm, but I'm fairly sure it's accurate."
"Okay," he said with a small sigh, "How do you feel? I'm sure if I'm freaking out, you definitely are."
"I…I don't know," she answered slowly, "I think I'm still in shock. I mean, how did this happen? We've always been careful."
Jed wrapped his arm around her, kissing her cheek lightly, noticing how cold her skin was beneath his lips.
"Sometimes, these things just happen. Do you feel okay physically? It doesn't feel like anything is wrong?"
She shook her head, giving him a reassuring smile.
"No. I feel fine other than the complete and total shock."
As he pulled her into his arms, Jed realized he knew exactly how she felt.
For the first month of Abbey's pregnancy, Jed treated her as though she were the most fragile of beings and while she knew he meant well, it was beginning to grate on her nerves. She couldn't deny that she was grateful for the help around the apartment, but when he snapped at Heathcliff for daring to rest his head on her stomach, she drew the line, going so far as to sleep on the couch on the living room just to have space away from him.
Heathcliff had certainly noticed a change in the air of the apartment, always two steps behind Abbey wherever she went, and each time she heard the telltale clicking of his feet on the kitchen floor, she smiled in amusement. She knew he'd always been protective of her, but now that fierceness had been amplified tenfold, making her love the growing little puppy more than she had expected.
Gone were Jed's late nights at the university, something for which she was profoundly grateful, and as she walked into the kitchen, she heard the front door opening, signaling his arrival.
"Abbey?"
"Kitchen," she called, filling a glass with water.
He walked into the room, pulling her into his arms as he kissed her, and when she laughed, he smiled, looking at her warmly.
"How was your day?"
She smiled.
"Not bad. Heathcliff and I went on a walk through the neighborhood and then I took a nap. Everything seems to make me so tired now."
Jed nodded, laughing.
"Abbey, you're literally creating a tiny little human. I'm not surprised that you're more easily tired. Seems to me like you might want to take a nap more often."
Abbey smiled, rolling her eyes.
"If I did that, I'd never leave the bed. I'm so tired all the time. I know it's normal, but I don't have to like it."
She took a drink from her glass, laughing when Jed swept her into his arms, carrying her carefully into the living room, and when he placed her on the couch, she rolled her eyes again.
"I'm perfectly capable of walking."
"I know, but I want to make things as easy as possible for you. That's just about the only thing I can do during this part of our baby's life, so—what's wrong?"
He paused at the sight of tears in her eyes, immediately worried that he'd somehow upset her.
"You said…you called it 'our baby'," she said softly.
"Well, yeah," he said lightly, kissing her cheek, "It is our baby. All the best of both of us. And I hope this baby has your eyes, both of our intelligences, and my hair."
She burst into laughter, wiping away her tears quickly.
"Your hair?"
"Obviously. I have great hair, Abigail."
Abbey reached out to run her fingers through his hair, nodding in agreement.
"Fair enough. You do have great hair, babe."
Heathcliff chose that moment to jump up on the couch, and Jed instinctively opened his mouth to reprimand him, stopping when he saw the look in his wife's eyes, and as the puppy laid next to her, Abbey smiled. She knew the dog meant no harm, and when she reached out to pet him, Jed rolled his eyes.
"I should have known getting you a puppy was a mistake. I think you love him more than you love me."
"Never," she said with a smile, "I could never love anyone or anything more than you. Not even our child. Just as much, of course, but not more."
Jed smiled as he kissed her, and Heathcliff moved closer, wanting to be included, and as Abbey pulled him into her arms, he licked the tip of her nose in appreciation, making her laugh.
"How could you ever be mad at this sweet little boy?" she asked Jed, petting the dog slowly, "Look at how precious he is, Jed!"
"He's a dog, Abbey."
"He's still precious. Don't you listen to Daddy, Heathcliff. You're perfect."
Jed was momentarily thrown by hearing himself referred to as 'Daddy' and he stared at Abbey as it fully sank in, and he reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips.
"I'm going to be a daddy," he said softly.
She nodded.
"The best one I've ever known, except for my own."
"Speaking of which, when do you want to tell them? You just know they're going to be so excited."
Abbey frowned, thinking.
"I'll call them in the morning. It's a day early for my weekly call, but given the circumstances, I don't think they'll mind."
"Definitely not."
As Abbey listened to the phone ring, she braced herself for the answering click, hoping and praying that it wouldn't be her father who answered the phone.
"Barrington residence."
"Hi, Mom."
"Abbey! You're a day early, is everything okay? How's Jed's school and work going?"
Abbey laughed.
"I know it's a day early, but I just wanted to call anyway. Jed's school is going fine, but he might be picking up more hours at work for the foreseeable future, for more than one reason."
"Oh? Are you moving?"
"Not to my knowledge. I just need him out of the house. He's been hovering like a shadow everywhere I turn. It's cute, but it got really old really fast."
Lorraine Barrington laughed, and Abbey could practically see her shaking her head.
"I guess the honeymoon phase isn't over for him yet."
"Well, it could be that, or it could be because I'm pregnant."
"Because you're—oh, Abbey! That's great news! When did you find out?"
"About a month ago. We were keeping it quiet and needed time to process it before telling anyone. You're the first one we've told other than Jed's friend at school and that was because of our study sessions. We needed him to understand if I wasn't able to help him as often."
"Can I tell your father, or would you rather tell him?"
"You can tell him," Abbey laughed, "He'd probably take it better coming from you."
"True," her mother agreed, "Do you have a doctor? Is there anything we can send you to make it easier?"
"Mom, relax. I think we're all set. I have a doctor, she's monitoring everything closely, and anything else we need, Jed or I can handle it. I promise. You don't need to worry about anything."
"I'm your mother, Abbey. I'm always going to worry about you. You'll see soon enough."
After talking with her mother for another twenty minutes, Abey finally ended the call, glancing at Heathcliff as he sat at her feet, laughing when he immediately wagged his tail.
"You sure are a persistent little shadow, aren't you?"
He barked in agreement (or so she chose to believe), and as she walked into the living room, she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her, making her pause, closing her eyes tightly. She gripped the back of the couch like a lifeline as she walked around it, sinking onto the cushions as soon as she was close enough, and when Heathcliff jumped up into her lap, she gave him a smile.
"Don't worry, Heathcliff. Mommy's okay."
At least, she hoped she was.
When Jed walked into the apartment to find Abbey casually tossing a ball to Heathcliff, he smiled, feeling happier than he could have explained to anyone, and when she tossed the ball to him, he caught it easily, a smirk on his face.
"Lucky catch," she quipped.
"How did your parents take the news?" he asked, ignoring her remark.
"Mom was so excited. I don't know about Dad, he wasn't there, so Mom said she'd tell him."
"Hope he doesn't get a flight just to come over here and murder me," Jed muttered.
Abbey laughed.
"We're married, babe. Not much he can do about it now. He gave up that right when he walked me down the aisle."
"True, but he's your father. I haven't even met our baby yet and I know how I would feel about it if she called me to tell me she was pregnant."
"Hey, Jed…should we talk about names? Just for fun?"
Jed smirked.
"Jed for a boy, Abbey for a girl. Simple. We name them after us."
Abbey rolled her eyes.
"Be serious. We are not naming our child Josiah. Or Jed, for that matter."
"What's wrong with my name?" he asked in mock offense.
She merely stared at him, and he nodded, conceding her point.
"Fair enough. Have you given it any thought?"
Abbey shook her head, smiling when he came to lay with her on the couch, his head falling into her lap, and she began to run her fingers slowly through his dark hair. She was silent for a long moment as she thought of names and then promptly rejected them, frowning as she ran through a multitude of options.
"What about Naomi for a girl? You know, like the story of Naomi and Ruth from the Bible?"
Jed considered it for a moment before nodding.
"I like it. What about a boy?"
"Hm…what about Isaac?"
"Isaac," he said thoughtfully, "What would his middle name be?"
"Well, his middle name could be Edward, like yours. That was he would be named after you, and it's better than being a direct copy of his parents."
"Okay," Jed replied with a smile, "Isaac Edward and Naomi…what? Ann?"
Abbey shook her head, rolling her eyes.
"That doesn't really flow with Naomi. What about Eleanor?"
Jed nodded, reaching up to catch her hand as it passed through his hair, and he brought it to his lips lightly.
"Can you believe that in eight months we're going to have a tiny little baby? A perfect piece of us that will go out and live in the world?"
Though she knew his words weren't meant to, Abbey felt suddenly worried, fighting against the panic she could feel gripping her chest. Jed noticed the change in her breathing and sat up, looking at her worriedly.
"Abbey, honey, what is it?"
"We…Jed, we're going to have a baby. A tiny little baby that we have to take care of, and teach right from wrong, and how to tie their shoes, and how to be a good person and—and—"
"Abbey, Abbey, slow down," Jed said gently, "Calm down, baby. Just breathe. Yes, we'll have to do all those things, but we won't be doing them alone. We'll have each other and hey…I have an idea. Why don't you call Sara in the morning? I'm sure she's gone through a lot of the same worry you're having, and she might be able to help you get through it."
Right. She'd completely forgotten that Sara was pregnant. It made perfect sense to call her. Still, she wasn't sure how she felt about it, and she shook her head.
"I don't know, Jed. Maybe I should wait to call her. I don't…I don't know, it just doesn't feel right."
"Okay," he said softly, "You don't have to call her. It was just a suggestion. Just take a breath and relax, baby. Stress isn't good for the baby or you."
"Then maybe the baby should have picked someone else to be its mother," Abbey muttered, "All I ever do is stress over everything."
"No, Abbey…I think the baby chose perfectly when it chose you to be its mother."
The dizziness that had merely been an annoyance during the first month of her pregnancy turned into a major inconvenience during the third month, and as Abbey tried to fold the laundry in front of her, she blinked hard, willing her eyes to focus. She could just make out the tiny outline of Heathcliff as he waited for her to finish, knowing that he wanted to play in the basket, and when she felt a slight pain in her lower abdomen, she winced, though she didn't really think much of it. She was too preoccupied with the spinning in her head to realize that she should likely have been concerned, and she glanced at her watch, desperately praying the numbers would come into focus soon. After several minutes, she realized that Jed would be back in less than an hour, and she smiled at Heathcliff, though it was more a reflex than a display of genuine happiness.
"Forty-five minutes, Heathcliff. Then you're Daddy's problem."
Ten minutes later, she had finally finished folding the laundry and when she stood to take the piles of clothing into the bedroom, a sharp pain ripped through her body, strong enough to make her close her eyes, a curse muttered under her breath as she tried to remain upright. She knew that this was cause for concern and she took a step, preparing to make her way into the kitchen for the phone.
The rush of liquid she felt between her legs was enough to cut through the pain, alarm flooding her every sense, and when she realized that her legs were now stained red, she took another step, fighting against the pain she felt with each movement. Just before she reached the kitchen, she fell to her knees, paying no attention to Heathcliff as he immediately rushed to her side, and as she pulled herself along the floor, she could only focus on her goal of reaching the phone.
Pain tore through her body again and she collapsed entirely, her head landing on the floor of the kitchen, and as her vision went black, she was only aware of the panic as she fell into the void of unconsciousness.
The sound of Heathcliff barking reached Jed as soon as he approached the apartment door, and he frowned, unsure of why Abbey would have left him alone so close to his return, but he shrugged it off as he pulled his key from his pocket. Maybe she'd had a last-minute errand to run before making dinner or perhaps she was simply on the phone and Heathcliff was vying for her attention. Anything was possible, he supposed.
He pushed open the door, his confusion only intensifying when he noticed the laundry scattered around the room, and when Heathcliff ran to him, still barking, Jed immediately knew that something was wrong. He called Abbey's name as he put his key back in his pocket, and when he walked closer to the kitchen, he froze, his entire body feeling as though he'd been plunged into the Arctic sea.
Unresponsive on the floor, lying in a pool of thick blood, was Abbey, and as soon as he was able to force himself to move, he ran for the phone, calling the emergency number he'd never thought he would have to use. He managed to keep his voice steady as he spoke to the dispatcher and after being assured that an ambulance was on its way, Jed hung up the phone, wasting no time in kneeling next to Abbey, pulling her carefully into his arms.
"Abbey? Abbey, can you hear me?"
Her eyes moved at the sound of his voice, but didn't open, and he tapped her cheek lightly with the back of his hand, hoping it would be enough to wake her.
"Abbey…come on, baby, please…open your eyes. You can do it, I know you can."
He tapped her cheek again, feeling an immense sense of relief when her eyes slowly opened, and he fought the urge to hold her as tightly as he could in that moment.
"Abbey…thank God…don't worry, the ambulance is on its way."
"J-Jed?" her eyes landed on his, hazy and unfocused, "I'm so c-cold."
"I know, baby. You lost a lot of blood, but you're going to be okay. Just stay awake, okay? Don't close your eyes, just stay with me. Can you do that?"
She nodded weakly, but her eyes closed as her head fell against his chest, and he felt his panic grip his heart like a vice.
"Abbey, stay with me. Keep your eyes open, baby, please…"
He could hear the sirens now, quite possibly the most relieving sound he'd ever heard in his life, and when the paramedics lifted Abbey from his arms less than ten minutes later, he tried to remember how to breathe.
"Sir, what's your wife's name and age?"
"Abigail," he said quietly, "She's twenty-two, almost twenty-three. She's pregnant."
"Try not to worry. We're going to take care of her. You're welcome to come with us."
Jed nodded, following them as they rushed out of the room, and as he closed the door behind him, he prayed for a miracle.
"Mr. Bartlet?"
Jed raised his head slowly from his hands, staring at the man in front of him as though he had never seen another human before.
"Yes?"
"You may see your wife now. She's lost a lot of blood, which we replaced, but she's going to be very weak for a while. She may sleep for the rest of the night, and we'd like to keep her here for observation until tomorrow."
Jed nodded.
"What about the baby?" he asked softly.
"I'm very sorry, Mr. Bartlet. We did all we could, but I'm afraid your wife suffered a miscarriage."
"I understand," Jed answered quietly. "Thank you. What room is my wife in now?"
As the doctor gave him a room number, Jed did everything in his power to keep from breaking down in the middle of the hospital waiting room. Assuming Abbey didn't already know about the miscarriage, how in the world was he supposed to tell her? It would break her heart, just as it had broken his. He slowly made his way down the hallway, opening the door to the room he'd been told was Abbey's, and as he walked closer to the bed, he was immediately struck by how pale and small she looked beneath the sheets.
She didn't wake when he sat in the chair next to her, but her eyes opened when he took her hand in his, her voice pulling him from the dark thoughts spiraling around in his mind.
"Jed?"
"Hey, baby," he whispered, "How do you feel?"
"The truth? Like I've been hit by one of those double-decker buses."
"I'm not surprised. What happened?"
"I…I was folding laundry and I got really dizzy. Had this really sharp pain and I went to call you…I guess I passed out before I got to the phone."
"Yeah…" he paused, taking a deep breath, "Abbey—"
"I lost the baby, didn't I?" she whispered.
He nodded, kissing her hand softly.
"I'm sorry, Jed."
Jed frowned, sure he'd misheard her.
"What?"
"It was my job to keep the baby safe and healthy. I royally messed that up, and I'm so sorry."
Tears spilled from her eyes and Jed reached out slowly, running his thumb under her eyes to wipe them away.
"It wasn't your fault, Abbey," he told her seriously, "These things just happen sometimes and only God knows the reason why."
"Well, I wish He'd let me in on the secret," Abbey said, anger flashing through even in her weakened state, "He already had a son, there was no reason to take our baby."
Jed had no idea of how to respond, knowing she was merely lashing out in her pain, and when she looked at him, he knew she saw his pain reflected in his eyes.
"Jed, I…I know you said it isn't my fault, but what if it was? What if I pushed myself too hard or stressed too much or—"
"Stop, baby," he said gently, "Trying to find a reason will just make it harder. It hurts like hell no matter what, don't make it worse."
"I told you," she whispered, shaking her head, "I told you the baby chose the wrong person to be its mother. I couldn't even keep them alive, I would be a terrible mother."
"You're wrong, Abbey," Jed said quietly, "You're going to be an amazing mother one day. Maybe there was a bigger reason for this that we just aren't meant to know. We're supposed to learn something from it."
She laughed bitterly, her voice cold when she spoke.
"Like what?"
Jed sighed, leaning over to kiss her forehead lightly.
"Hell if I know, baby."
When the ringing of the phone shattered the silence, Jed leapt to answer it, not wanting to risk waking Abbey, his voice slightly breathless as he spoke.
"Hello?"
"Jed, hi. I was just calling to see how Abbey was feeling. May I speak to her?"
Shit. Shitshitshitshit. He knew that Abbey hadn't told her mother yet about the miscarriage, seeing as she'd been sleeping almost nonstop since being released from the hospital, and he sighed as he tried to keep his voice soft.
"Abbey's sleeping right now."
"Well, tell her I called when she wakes up and that I'd love to talk to her about—"
"We lost the baby, Lorraine," he interrupted, unable to stand her cheerful tone any longer, "She just came home from the hospital two days ago and she's still recovering. I know you mean well, but I don't think she's in any condition to talk to anyone right now."
"Oh…oh, Jed…I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how she must be feeling."
"Well, she's been sleeping for two days, so I'd say not much of anything at the moment."
"What about you, Jed? You lost something, too. You can't pretend like it doesn't affect you."
Jed sighed, knowing she was right but not wanting to admit it.
"Abbey's my concern right now. I'll worry about me later. I'll try to keep you both updated and I'll tell her that you called when she wakes up."
"Okay, Jed. If you need anything, please let us know. And please tell Abbey we love her and you."
"I will. Thanks."
He hung up, feeling emptier than he had before the call, and when he made his way down the hall to the bedroom, he smiled sadly at the sight of Heathcliff lying next to Abbey in the bed, his ears perking up when he noticed him. The little dog had refused to leave her side from the moment they'd come back from the hospital, and it made him feel prouder of the puppy than he could ever remember.
Sitting down softly on the mattress, Jed reached out to brush Abbey's hair away from her face, smiling when she opened her eyes, and when she spoke, her voice was slightly hoarse.
"Who was on the phone?" she asked.
"Your mother. She said to tell you that she loves you."
Abbey nodded slowly, reaching out to run her hand lightly over Heathcliff's head, and Jed smiled again, hoping to make her feel better.
"Little demon sure does love you."
"He loves you, too."
"Yeah, but he's never saved my life. He saved yours two days ago."
Abbey frowned, confused.
"What? What do you mean?"
"When I came in the front door that night, he was barking like crazy. I couldn't figure it out, and he ran up to me, still barking. When I followed him to the kitchen, I saw you. If he hadn't been barking like that, it might have taken me a little longer to know something was wrong and you could have died. You scared the hell out of me, baby. I thought I was going to lose you. I could come back from a lot of things but losing you…never."
Abbey said nothing, merely continuing to pet Heathcliff, and when Jed leaned down to kiss her forehead, he let his lips linger on her skin for a long moment before pulling away.
"I love you, Abbey. If you need anything, let me know."
She nodded silently, and he stood carefully, petting Heathcliff once before leaving the room, and when he looked back, Abbey's eyes were closed again, tear tracks visible even in the faint light.
As he climbed into the shower that night, Jed had never been more thankful for the cover of water than he was in that moment, sinking to the floor of the tub as he pulled his knees up to his chin. Days of worrying about Abbey, of trying to process the loss of the child they'd never gotten a chance to know and now never would spilled forth in hot bitter tears, and he made no attempt to stop them. The stream of water from the shower washed away any evidence of his grief, though Abbey was the only person who would have even thought to ask about it, and as he continued to cry, he realized that he completely understood Abbey's brief flash of anger in the hospital.
She was right. It simply didn't make sense, no matter how many different ways he examined it, and he knew that he would likely never understand as long as he lived. The last time he could remember feeling this lost and angry at God had been after the death of his father, and he knew there was no way he could react in the same way now. This wasn't just about him now. Abbey needed him, and he'd be damned if he was going to let her suffer alone.
He just wished he knew what in the hell he was supposed to do and despite his many desperate prayers, there was no answer.
A/N: I really don't know how to write a happy story, do I?