Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the sporadic updates. I lost momentum on this story, life happened, but I don't want to abandon it. I have a few more chapters written now, we are winding our way toward our ending. Thank you all for sticking with me on this.
Bella took a deep breath and went back downstairs. She followed the sounds of the baseball game to find Charlie in front of the couch. He turned off the TV when she stood by the entry to the living room. Charlie looked at her, trying to read her expression.
"Can you come with me?" Bella asked. "To press charges?"
Charlie's face softened. "Of course, Bells."
Bella rushed to explain, "It's just that, I mean with like cops and legal stuff, I figured, what with you being a sheriff and all…"
Charlie put up his hand to cut her off. "Bella, Bella, you don't have to explain."
Bella nodded and shuffled awkwardly. "Umm…"
Charlie started to stand up. "We can go right now, if you feel ready."
Bella hugged herself. "I don't know if I'll ever feel ready, but we can go now."
Charlie walked over and pulled her into a fatherly hug. "I'm here for you, Bells."
Bella hugged him back. "Thanks, Dad."
They were silent the whole drive up to Port Angeles in Charlie's cruiser. They sat in silence as they stared at the front entrance of the Port Angeles Police Station. Bella's heart beat wildly in her chest with anxiety.
"What's going to happen when I go in there?" Bella asked finally, breaking the silence.
Charlie rubbed the back of his neck before turning toward her. "We're going to walk up to the front desk and ask to speak to Detective Spence. She was the one who took your statement at the hospital, you remember her?" Bella nodded. "I'm not sure how they do it at this station. They'll either have a line up of men or photographs for you to look at. If you see any of the men who… raped you, you'll point them out. Then you will tell her you'd like to press charges. Then they will assign you a lawyer, who you will meet with today to brief you on what to expect."
Bella nodded, grateful that Charlie was familiar with the system.
"We go in when you're ready," Charlie said. "I've got all day."
Bella nodded again, continuing to stare at the building entrance. They sat in silence for another ten minutes while she gathered her courage. Finally, she sighed. "Okay, I'm ready."
Bella appreciated Charlie's hand at her back as they walked through the front doors and up to the front receptionist. Bella's heart was suddenly in her throat. Charlie, seeming to sense her need, talked to the woman. "Hello, I'm Chief Swan, this is my daughter, Isabella Swan. We are here to see Detective Spence to file a report."
The woman nodded and directed them to the right door.
Detective Spence stood when they walked in. "Bella, come on in," she said. "Chief Swan," she nodded in acknowledgement to Charlie.
Bella and Charlie sat in the offered chairs.
"Bella," Detective Spence began. "Thank you for coming in. How are you?"
"Okay," Bella said, though they both knew that it was a lie in favor of pleasantries. Detective Spence smiled gently at Bella with an understanding look.
"Did your father tell you why I called you in here today?" she asked.
Bella looked at Charlie briefly, who gave her an encouraging pat on the knee. "You caught the men who raped me?"
Detective Spence nodded. "Yes, though it is a bit more complicated than that. Here's what we've got. We got 2 hits on your rape kit results. They matched a rape kit from two years ago that went to trial, but the charges were dropped part way through the case. The DNA is linked to a David Wallace and Stephen Quandry. We believe that they are likely tied to a string of gang rapes that have occurred in the area. In our investigation, we have reasonable suspicion of the identity of the two other men. David and Stephen have two co-worker friends, Murray Andrews and Patrick Finn, who do not have alibies for the night of your rape. They aren't in the system to check DNA against, so we need your positive ID to get a warrant for a DNA sample. That's what we're hoping you can help us out with. Do you feel up for looking at some pictures?"
Bella looked at Charlie, who gave her an encouraging half-smile. Bella took a deep breath and nodded at Detective Spence, not trusting her voice. Detective Spence nodded, sliding a small folder in front of Bella. "In this folder, there are going to be numerous photographs I'd like to you look at. I want you to point out to me the men who you recognize from your rape. Okay?"
Bella nodded, a lump in her throat preventing any possible verbal response. Detective Spence opened the folder to reveal a glossy paper with 6 photographs of different men. They all looked similar to each other. Her eyes scanned the faces, freezing on the bottom right photograph. Bella stared. "Do you see one of the men who raped you?" Detective Spence asked. Bella forced herself to breathe. She nodded. "Can you point to him?" Detective Spence prompted. With a trembling hand, she pointed at the photograph. The detective nodded and made a note in her notebook.
Detective Spence flipped the page, and they repeated the dance. Scan, freeze, stare, point. Again and again, until all four men were identified.
Detective Spence closed the folder. "Thank you, Bella. You did great. I'm going to give you a few minutes and then I'll send in Susan, who will be the lawyer representing you." The detective rose and quietly shut the door behind her, leaving Charlie and Bella in heavy silence.
Finally, Charlie cleared his throat. "How you doing over there, kiddo?"
Bella blinked, realizing she was frozen, with her eyes locked on the desk where the folder of pictures had been. "Ummm… I don't know," she said honestly. Bella saw him rub his neck out in her peripheral vision. She could feel him searching for the right words to say. They were both saved from the moment when there came a gentle knock at the door before it opened.
"Bella?" came a feminine voice. Bella and Charlie turned to look at a beautiful woman in a suit come in. "Hi, I'm Susan Rohan. I'm going to be representing you in your case."
"Hi," Bella said politely.
"So Bella, we are in the preliminary stages of building this case, but I wanted to connect with you today." Bella nodded at her. "I have looked over notes from Detective Spence and I think you have a pretty solid case here. With your positive ID, DNA match, and their lack of alibies, this should be a straightforward case. But I'm not going to lie to you, going to trial can be a very emotionally challenging ordeal. It would require you to face your attackers and tell the courtroom what happened. We can try to keep everything quiet, but in areas as small as this, these things do have a tendency to get out with a trial."
Bella's body flooded with adrenaline. She couldn't imagine the whole town finding out that she was gang raped. But if it meant that these men would never walk the streets again…
"How long would they get?" Bella asked. "How long would they go to prison?" she clarified.
"It depends on a few things," Susan began. "But generally speaking, an eight-year sentence is about average for a rape conviction. If we can link them to more rapes, then there is a good chance we can increase that to 15-20 years. Of course, that all is assuming we go through with the trial. Some victims decide go the plea bargain route in order to skip the process of going to trial. Then we're looking at a shorter sentence, probably more like 2 years."
Bella nodded numbly. Charlie asked a few questions, but Bella stopped listening. Her head felt staticky. Bella wasn't sure how long the two of them talked while she spaced out. When Charlie placed a hand on her shoulder, Bella tried not to flinch. She looked up and saw that he was looking at her with a concerned look on his face. "You alright, sweetie?"
Bella blinked and nodded. She looked at Susan self-consciously. "Sorry," she apologized.
Susan smiled understandingly. "It's alright Bella. Why don't we stop here for today. Here, let me give you my card, and if you have any questions, you can just give me a call." Susan handed her a business card, which Bella shoved into her jeans pocket.
Bella let Charlie do the formalities of saying thank you and goodbyes and walking them out of the station. Charlie watched Bella with a worried look as she walked out of the station with a dazed look. She appreciated that he didn't say anything though, and they drove home in silence.
She didn't quite know how she felt about all this. She felt… cheated by it all. Her fantasy of her rapists rotting away in prison for the rest of their lives was slipping away by the harshness of reality. Maybe she should have let Edward kill them. These men clearly are a threat to society. They should not be allowed to walk these streets. But she couldn't bear the idea of having to be apart from Edward if he restarted his blood rage, especially now when they were so new in their relationship, and she needed him so much. But even if she goes to trial, she couldn't keep these men off the streets forever. Whether it was in 2 years or 20 years, who's to say they won't rape again when they get out? Her mind worried about it round and round, trying to figure out what to do.
Charlie cleared his throat. Bella started. She looked at Charlie, then at their stationary surroundings. They were home.
Without a word, Bella unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out of Charlie's cruiser. With the odd sensation of not being in her body, yet still managing to walk into her house, she was vaguely aware that she was climbing up the stairs. She thought Charlie might have said something, but it didn't register. Bella somehow found herself standing in the middle of her room.
She wasn't sure how long she stood there before she felt cold hands on both arms. She blinked and took in the concerned face in front of her.
"Bella?" Edward's worried voice floated to her. Bella blinked again and made herself focus on his features. "Talk to me, Bella," Edward tried again.
"I…" Bella tried. She didn't know what to say. "I don't know what's wrong with me…" she admitted.
Edward looked her over for signs of injury. "Can you tell me what's going on? What do you feel?"
Bella tried to think. What did she feel? "Um, I don't really feel like I'm in my body right now."
A look of comprehension crossed Edward's face. "Bella, I think you're dissociating. Can you look around and tell me where you are right now?"
Bella blinked and turned her head from side to side. She took in the details of her familiar surroundings. Her eyes lingered on her purple bedspread. "I'm in my room."
"Good," Edward reinforced. "Can you feel your feet on the ground? Can you feel my hands on your arms?"
Bella wiggled her toes in her shoes, she tuned into the refreshing chill at her arms where Edward's hands made contact. Bella nodded.
"Good," Edward said again. "Now take some deep breaths. Here match me, in-2-3-4, out-2-3-4." Edward made a show to breathing audibly in and out. Bella focused on her own breath, forcing it to match Edward's performative breathing.
Bella blinked finally and looked at Edward. The floaty sensation of before was gone. "Um… Thanks. I feel better."
Edward gave her a gentle squeeze on her shoulders before releasing his hold on her.
"How did you know what to do?" Bella asked him.
Edward smiled. "As a vampire, I have nothing but time to fill with academia. I went to graduate school for psychology a few years ago."
Bella's brain struggled to wrap around that information. She nodded in acknowledgement. "Thanks," she said again. "I don't know why that happened."
Edward considered her. "It is a pretty common trauma response, especially when triggered." Bella bobbed her head, taking in that information. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"
Bella considered the offer. She knew it would make her feel better, but she wasn't sure if she was ready to revisit the day's troubling events. She didn't trust herself to not dissociate again. Bella shook her head. "I mean, I do, but I don't know if I'm ready yet," she clarified.
Edward nodded in understanding. "What do you need right now?" he asked.
Bella looked around her room, suddenly feeling a bit claustrophobic in the space. "Um, I kind of need to get out of here."
Edward nodded. "Will you be okay by yourself for one minute?" he asked.
Bella nodded, uncertain what Edward was thinking. Without any explanation, Bella blinked and she was alone. The curtain on her window swayed. She heard a knock sound at the front door. Bella opened her door to listen down as Charlie muted the TV to answer the door. "Oh, hi, Edward," Charlie said, surprise coloring his voice.
"Good afternoon, Chief Swan," Edward said politely. "I stopped by and was wondering if Bella might like to join me for a stroll."
"A stroll?" Charlie asked, taken aback by the verbiage, and the request. "Umm, I don't know, Bella had a hard day today…"
Bella mobilized down the stairs. "Dad, it's okay. I'd like to get out of the house," Bella said as she entered the living room. Charlie turned to assess her. He seemed visibly relieved that she looked better than her zombie state she was in when she had come home from the station. Bella grabbed her jacket from the hook and slipped past Charlie, smiling brightly at Edward.
"Okay," Charlie said, uncertain of the protocol of his fatherly duty in a situation like this. "Um, well, don't stay out past dark."
"We won't," Edward assured Charlie, placing a gentle hand at Bella's back, turning her to guide her down the steps onto the walkway.
Bella heard Charlie close the door behind them but felt his lingering gaze through the window.
"I figured that Charlie should know if you weren't in the house," Edward explained himself. "And that you were with me."
Bella nodded at his logic. Bella took a deep breath of fresh, crisp air, feeling better already.
"Do you just want to walk from here or do you want me to drive us somewhere?" Edward prompted.
"I think just walk from here," Bella answered. He slipped his hand into hers as he guided her toward the forest surrounding her house.
Bella's heart fluttered at the intimacy of holding hands and walking with Edward Cullen. They walked in companionable silence through the dense trees. Bella breathed in the damp air, felt the soft forest floor beneath her shoes, felt the damp leaves brush her jacket and occasionally her face as she and Edward squeezed between the branches. Bella felt her muscles strain as she had to navigate over a fallen tree, Edward's supportive hands helping her navigate the treacherous terrain. After about ten minutes of walking, Bella found a comfortable looking fallen tree covered with thick moss to sit on. Edward sat next to her. They sat together and looked around at the forest and listened to the sounds of the trees blowing in the breeze and the birds chirping. She knew that her house was not far away, but it was out of sight, and she felt a world away.
"This is nice," she said aloud into the clearing.
"It is," Edward agreed. "If you like nature, I can take you to some beautiful spots. There is a meadow I'd love to show you. It's a bit of a hike, but there's nothing else like it I've found."
Bella hummed in agreement. "It sounds lovely. I'd love to see it."
"I'll take you sometime," Edward promised.
They lapsed into silence once again. Bella watched a squirrel look for fallen nuts on the forest floor.
"It's not going to be enough," Bella said finally into the silence. Edward looked at her, waiting. Bella took a deep breath and let it out. "If I go through with this, if I go to trial, it's not going to be enough to put them away for life. Maybe 20 years. And 2 if I take a plea bargain."
"Just say the word and I will kill them. Whether you go to trial or not, I can make sure those men never live to walk the streets again, whether that's today or in 2 years or 20 years. I can be their death sentence."
Bella shook her head. "No, I don't want to risk you restarting your blood rage if you go after them. I…" Bella turned to Edward with a look of desperation on her face. "I love you and I need you. I can't bear any option that risks us having to separate."
Edward's face strained with contemplation, wanting to find a solution that protected Bella from any agony or discomfort. "Maybe my family could… I'm sure Rosalie would be willing to…"
Bella shook her head. "No, I can't ask you family to kill for me. That's too much to ask, they don't even know me."
Edward looked deeply into her eyes. "Bella, you are my family now. I know you haven't gotten to meet my family yet, but as my family, they are your family too. If you let them be."
Bella was a bit taken aback by Edward's declaration. She blinked as she absorbed the intensity. She was surprised at how much she liked the idea of being considered Edward's family. She wasn't sure how she felt about the whole extended vampire family part.
"I…" Bella started. "I don't know what to say," she said honestly.
"You should meet them. Esme has asked me to re-extend her invitation to our home to meet the family. And Alice won't shut up about how you two are going to be best friends."
Bella shifted nervously. "Oh, right, I forgot about that…" Bella stalled. "Um, okay, tomorrow?"
Edward smiled. "Tomorrow, then."
Bella returned his smile tentatively. Bella wasn't sure how long they had sat there before the chill air started to creep into her skin. Bella gave a shudder and tightened her arms around her midsection.
"You're getting cold," Edward observed. "We should head back."
Bella nodded in agreement and stood up to join Edward. They made their way back through the forest. She was grateful for Edward's keen vampire awareness. She was pretty sure she could easily get lost trying to navigate the short distance back to her house. From this depth of the forest, there was no clear indicator to signify which way civilization was. But Edward confidently steered them in one direction, and before long, she saw glimpses of her house through the trees.
As they broke through the dense trees into her side yard, Bella could see that the sun peeking through the clouds as it neared the tree line. Bella looked over and glimpsed a ray of sunshine hit Edward's cheek. Bella's breath caught in her throat as she stared at the mesmerizing sight of his skin shining like brilliant diamonds. Edward stared at Bella, trying to gauge her reaction to the unintentional disclosure of one of his vampire features.
"Beautiful," Bella breathed.
Edward smiled at her, dazzling her further. "So are you," he said earnestly, watching the sun bring out golden highlights in her brown hair. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and Bella held her breath at the intimacy of the moment. Edward's hand lingered for a moment behind her ear, slowly drawing away, tracing a cold trail that burned hot along Bella's jaw.
The sun disappeared again behind the clouds, and the moment was broken by the chill that returned to the air. Bella blinked and looked at her house. She took a deep breath to steel herself.
"I'll drop you off formally for Charlie. I'll be in your room, but feel free to take your time." They walked up the stairway and went through the whole performance of Edward wishing Bella a good evening and greeting Charlie farewell.
Charlie's gaze was penetrating with fatherly concern once they were alone. "You okay, sweetie? We haven't had a chance to talk since we left the station."
Bella dropped her gaze, feeling suddenly exhausted for some reason, even though it wasn't that late. She collapsed onto the couch with a sigh, Charlie took up position in his recliner. "It was… harder than I thought it would be. And I feel… confused about what to do."
Charlie pursed his lips and nodded understandingly. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Do you want to talk it out?"
Bella fidgeted with a loose thread on her jacket. "I just… I guess I thought it would be different, if I went through all of this, that they'd get put away forever. Maybe it was some dumb fantasy of being able to get my own justice."
Charlie's expression softened with pity. "It's not dumb to want justice. And I agree, it's not enough. I wish the system worked better than it did."
Bella sighed and lapsed into silence.
"Do you want some dinner? There's still some left over's from when your mom was here."
Bella smiled and nodded, and Charlie got up to reheat the food in the microwave. They ate the food in companionable silence before Bella excused herself to go to bed early.
Edward glanced up from his position on the rocking chair. "I'm going to take a shower and try to get some sleep, I'm exhausted," Bella said, stifling a yawn. "You don't have to…"
"I'll stay," Edward assured her. "Unless you'd rather be alone," he followed up quickly.
Bella shook her head. "No, but I think I'm talked out for the night, if that's okay."
Edward smiled gently at her. "That's fine."
Bella grabbed her shower kit and took a long hot shower, letting her tears get lost in the water. Then she changed into her pj's and collapsed into bed with damp hair. She was vaguely aware of Edward positioning himself on her bed next to her, careful to keep a thick quilt between her and his cold skin. She vaguely heard his hummed lullaby as she surrendered to the exhaustion pulling her under.