"We run carelessly to the precipice, after we have put something before us to prevent us seeing it."
Blaise Pascal
After they were done, the Death Dealer named Istvan opened the wall and let them through. As the door slid shut behind them, Bella, still in shock, blinked at what she vaguely registered was the outline of Edward before he disappeared from view.
Esme let out a breath. "What will happen now?" She looked at both Gabrielle- whom Bella had completely forgotten had been in the cell with them throughout their conversation- and Istvan, whom she now fully remembered had been listening in on them.
Gabrielle exchanged grim looks with the Death Dealer. "Nothing that we haven't already expected," she confessed. "The trespassing will be added to the list of charges against Edward, as is breaking the universal concept of hospitality, which, as immortals from all the ages, vampires adhere very strictly too."
"Even though Edward didn't know about the confederation?" Emmett asked, tentatively.
Gabrielle scoffed. "Edward didn't know about the confederation, but you don't need to know about them- or about any higher authority and law- not to break into someone's house or be a bad guest by being rude to the host or over-extending your welcome. I'm quite certain that during his day and age- whenever that may be- including in non-magical human society, breaking into somebody's house without their permission- or before they gave it- would be considered unacceptable.
"The other more personal things are not illegal," Gabrielle mused. "Any charges that involve either Edward or the Volturi preying upon humans are not going to count. Not because the confederation doesn't consider it immoral, but they will take into account that not only did you not know the law, you were never trained to resist fully nor did you possess the benefits of being aligned with wizards, as part of the confederation. Therefore, while your family will be held in higher regard than the others, applauded even, members of your species will still have to have some way to feed themselves, even if it means preying upon humans."
"How did the confederation not know of us, though?" Jasper mused aloud.
Once again, Gabrielle exchanged grim looks with Istvan.
"That is something we all want to find out." A woman's voice sounded.
Selene, the Death Dealer who had arrested Edward marched forwards.
"Members of the Volturi have been questioned and given their sworn testimonies, which they will defend in court," Selene informed them. She turned towards Carlisle. "One of them- Marcus- wishes to know whether you knew what Aro had done to his wife."
His wife? Bella glanced at an equally-bewildered Carlisle. "What?"
"I take it that's a no," Selene said, not even reacting. "Marcus has received something of a shock. As did more than half their guard and the two wives."
"Sulpicia and Athenodora?" Carlisle said, sounding bemused, surprising the rest of the Cullens. "Aro and Caius' wives? What about them?"
"It appears that the one known as Chelsea had been keeping them under some form of enchantment," Selene remarked "as did another: Corin. Apparently, their consorts, and many members of their army had never decided to stay in that tower or the citadel of their own free will, doing what the two of them wanted them to do. Once we'd placed magical inhibitors on Chelsea and Corrin-" her striking chestnut eyes found theirs "they snapped out of it- came back to their senses."
Bella and Esme inhaled sharply, while Carlisle Alice, Rosalie and Emmett gasped. Even Jasper looked disturbed. "Their wives were under Chelsea's spell?" Bella blurted. "I never knew!"
"But you did know what this Chelsea was capable of?" Selene arched an elegant brow.
"Eleazar told us," Bella replied, still in shock. She shivered and clutched her arm.
Esme cast a disturbed look towards her children.
"When was this?" Jasper asked, bewildered.
"When the Denalis came, after the two of you left." Bella explained. "We'd invited the Denalis- Tanya, Kate, Eleazar and Carmen- to come to Forks while you guys searched for witnesses to make the Volturi stop and listen, after Irina had come running to report to them. Eleazar mentioned that his being together with Carmen was what allowed them to leave the Volturi Guard but I never thought-" Bella was aghast.
Venom pooled at the bottom of her mouth, like bile. She felt the blood she'd drank back in Forks rise in her throat, threatening to regurgitate itself. Could vampires vomit? She'd never asked.
"Hm." Selene regarded them thoughtfully. "So Marcus and Didyme would have been able to leave if they'd wished?" She asked Carlisle directly.
"Didyme?" Carlisle asked, bewildered. "Marcus' dead wife?" This question startled his family. Gabrielle turned her eyes towards him. Istvan raised an eyebrow. "She died, didn't she?"
"Was that the name of Marcus' wife?" Esme wondered aloud. "I wondered why there were only two when they came to Forks."
"She died many centuries ago," Carlisle explained.
"How?" Selene asked.
Carlisle shrugged, helplessly. "I never asked. She was gone by the time I first came to Volterra. It was a private thing, and I never wanted to cause Marcus any pain- or Aro."
"Aro?" Emmett questioned.
"Didyme was Aro's sister," Carlisle explained. "That's all I know about her- that and that her power was similar to yours, Jasper."
Jasper was astounded. "Me?"
"In a sense," Carlisle clarified. "She could only make other people feel happy." He paused. "I don't know what happened to her."
"Your species are not magically powerful," Selene remarked, eyes scanning each of them up and down. "And you were not aware of the existence of a much wider supernatural world. But you are physically virtually indestructible." Her eyes narrowed. Bella was startled to see that they were now a vivid shade of electrical blue.
"What other ways could any member of your species be killed apart from being deliberately torn to pieces and set on fire?" Selene asked quietly. "I highly doubt that Didyme's death had been an accident."
Silence struck them. "And I highly doubt that Marcus would have allowed his wife's death to go unavenged." She claimed. "And he didn't; in fact, he claimed that Chelsea bound him in loyalty to Aro and Caius, but at least they didn't allow Corin to make him feel content against his will. Judging by his reaction once he came to his senses, I did not doubt him the slightest."
This remark caused all the Cullens to gasp and to take a step back.
"What are you saying?" Esme gasped, hand at her heart. "That Aro- Aro used Chelsea…" she trailed off.
"To bind him in loyalty to him and Caius," Selene continued her sentence. Esme and the others were too stunned to speak. "As they did with Sulpicia and Athenodora, Aro and Caius' wives. Quite suspicious, that Aro claims to have no idea about how his own sister died." She remarked "he didn't even make any move to avenge her nor to find out more about her death."
Rosalie and Esme hissed in shock. "What are you saying?" Carlisle questioned, aghast.
"That we may be adding more to the list of charges," Selene remarked evenly. She leaned against the wall.
She listed them off: "Enslavement via enchantment, coercion, false imprisonment, kin-slaying and murder of the first degree, as humans would claim." She looked at Bella. "The first three isn't unlike the charges pressed against your Edward."
That jolted Bella back to her senses. "No- Edward would never-" she began heatedly.
"He already did." Selene answered, matter-of-factly. She straightened. "He's confessed. He had no choice: the investigators of MACUSA were most thorough. They interviewed those wolf shape-shifters-" her nose wrinkled slightly, barely discernible "-and the non-magical humans around town about his doing. They gave us all they found.
"False imprisonment- when he recruited his sister-" her electric-blue eyes found Alice who looked aghast and sick to her stomach, and like she wanted to shrink back "to keep you in his house without your saying otherwise, especially since some of them testified that you'd fled the first opportunity you could, even though you were forced to come back." Esme's eyes widened. She looked like she'd been slapped. Rosalie turned furious eyes towards Alice. "And before that when he removed your car battery." Selene remained cool and collected. "-in order to prevent you from going somewhere- or seeing someone."
Now, Selene scoffed. "If that isn't anything like what Aro and Caius did to the wives and 'brother' they claim to love, I don't know what is."
"No," Bella exclaimed hotly. She glared furiously at Selene. "Edward is nothing like them!" She retorted fiercely.
"So you deny it? Every single one of those claims? You are willing to testify it in court in front of the Truthsayer and the judges?" Selene's questions made Bella freeze.
She remembered what she was. She remembered what had happened, what she'd discovered. And she knew that Maggie would be able to tell a lie in court.
Selene's blue eyes narrowed at Bella. "Why do you stay with him? If this is what humans these days call an abusive relationship-"
Bella was aghast. "It is not-" she struggled. "It is not an abusive relationship!"
The last sentence was said as a shout. Belatedly, Bella realised that she had been shouting to drown out all those voices hammering in the inside of her head.
The voices she'd been ignoring for quite some time.
She glared fiercely at Selene, using all the hatred and outrage she could muster. Unfortunately, the veteran Death Dealer was unaffected, merely turning her gaze towards the rest of the family.
"I think your species need to tell the difference between love and Stockholm Syndrome," she casually remarked before turning around and going her way as Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, all watched her go. Bella's eyes were wide with- what? Shock or outrage? She didn't know.
Alice looked like she'd been punched in the gut. Only Jasper, stunned but silent, kept her up.
Back in their rooms, Gabrielle poured them glasses of blood from a carafe they had all found on the coffee table.
She sighed as she regarded each of them. The Cullens all appeared shaken, but none more so than Bella.
Pursing her lips, she decided not to ask any questions to pry into any of their personal lives. They wouldn't listen to me, anyway. She looked at Bella. Or at least, she wouldn't.
"You already know what you need to know about Edward's list of charges," Gabrielle said slowly, as they drank their blood. "There really is no way to prepare until you get to the court and are questioned by the judges and the Truthsayer. The trials will be held in public. There will be cameras, but they will take measures to ensure your privacy and your safety."
She sighed. "These… revelations will cast doubt on Edward's integrity, as well as the Volturi's. Normally, everyone would consider the phrase, 'innocent before being proven guilty', but these admissions…" she trailed off shrugging.
"MACUSA would have passed them onto the judges beforehand." Gabrielle stated calmly. "The Death Dealers would have also investigated. As Edward is a vampire, and the treaty is magically binding- but allows everyone a chance to salvage things before the entire race can be cursed-" the Cullens winced, except Bella who jerked, as if coming back to reality, eyes wide and slowly coming back into focus as she gazed at Gabrielle. "Edward will be tried by vampires, as will the Volturi. If the wizards do not find the sentencing appropriate to their level of transgressions, then the treaty will be considered broken." Gabrielle paused. "So, as you can see, your entire race is at stake."
Carlisle took a shuddering breath. He closed his eyes. Esme did the same, in despair.
"So… there is no hope for a release. Or a pardon."
Gabrielle shook her head. "I am afraid not. Even if there is, they would not give it, not if they feel they cannot trust him not to commit more blunders or to do anything intentionally if he goes free. He has already confessed to trespassing, violation of hospitality, false imprisonment, attempted exposure- which, as it puts everyone in danger is akin to treason-" she winced. "And now there is the dubious… matter of how you came to be married."
Bella exhaled slowly.
Alice turned away. She burrowed her face in her hands.
Still clutching her glass, Bella turned numb eyes towards Gabrielle. "You think I had Stockholm Syndrome?"
The Cullens winced. Gabrielle shook her head. "It doesn't matter what I think. Firstly, I'm officially a neutral party assigned by the ICW and agreed upon by the Vampire High Council, to guide you through the trials. Besides, the trials haven't concluded yet, so I don't have an official opinion- nor an unofficial one, considering that I never signed up to make any sort of judgments about anyone." That made the Cullens regard her, as if under a new light. Gabrielle continued, "Also, I don't believe anyone is truly guilty or innocent in anything. There is no clear-cut division between good and evil, and there never will be. I've met proclaimed heroes who have saved countless lives- even those they won't ever be thanked for- do morally questionable things. I have met people who are seen as villains, who align themselves with such figures, save innocent people." Memories of the war, particularly during Fleur's wedding and her first year at Beauxbatons surfaced. "No one ever walks into or does something believing that they are the villain." She paused. "Everyone is the hero of their own journey, the protagonist. And I believe, regardless of whether or not Edward or the Volturi are truly innocent or guilty, that that is what they see and believe themselves to be."
A pause enveloped the living room as everyone absorbed this. Bella took another sip, feeling the warmth flood and shoot down her body, making her feel more like herself.
Gabrielle caught her eye. "It's alright to love someone who has flaws, you know," she pointed. "As a matter of fact, it's not merely acknowledging someone having flaws, but cherishing it as another part of their personal qualities and characteristics, that make a relationship stronger, not seeing them as the embodiment of perfection." She mused. "Everything about a person: their likes and dislikes, their reactions to things, even the things that get on your nerve- if you both cherish and know each other, in and out, for every single detail, then it's love. Regardless if other people might see them as flaws."
Bella bit her lip. But before she could dwell on that, Gabrielle spoke. "You can see that they have flaws on their face- and still love that person. You can disagree with what they have done, admit that what they did was wrong- and still love them. You can admit that they are prideful to the point of arrogance, or vain, or be upset with something they did and admit it was wrong, and at the same time, still love them." She smiled.
"My brother-in-law was bitten by a werewolf," she confessed, making them straighten and stare at her. "It wasn't during the full moon but that werewolf was particularly savage, so while he didn't turn into one, he developed a preference for eating bloody meat." She grimaced, slightly. "He was also terribly scarred across his face. Everybody thought that my sister would leave him." Her smile widened. "But she never did. Their love for each other only ever grew stronger. They have three children now. It makes no difference before or after his face was scarred and his steaks were bloody. She is happy to cherish him, and he cherishes her. For every quirk, every characteristic, every personal secret they shared to each other, every flaw that they are too embarrassed or ashamed to show the world. Oh, they argue," she stated sagely. Nodding, Gabrielle continued: "Arguments and disagreements are a normal part of every relationship: familial, platonic and romantic. You don't know my sister- she doesn't like to back down. She's beautiful but she's proud and stubborn to a fault. It's not necessarily vanity, but she spent her entire life- as did I- being judged upon, alternately hated or wanted because of her looks." Gabrielle shook her head, fondly reminiscing about Bill and Fleur.
A twinkle was in her eye. "Fleur defiantly spent all the years at school trying to prove to every person that she was more than just a pretty face." Gabrielle confessed. "She worked her hands to the bone, she went crazy during exams and assignments, she put romance at a back seat because she wanted to prove she was more than what society made of her- of what other people perceive her to be." Gabrielle smiled fondly. "She even managed to become Champion for our school during the Triwizard Tournament- though she didn't win. Belatedly, years later she would tell me that she had been largely unprepared because she was overconfident. That tournament was designed to catch them off guard, and sadly she learned that she can't always win, no matter if someone is at the top of the class or is the best at doing everything up until that point." She paused. "Afterwards, she earned a job at Gringotts, the wizards' bank," Gabrielle explained, seeing their befuddled looks. "She did this largely because Gringotts was run by goblins. Goblins don't have the same standard for beauty as humans do, so Fleur looked as grotesque as any other in their eyes." She smirked.
"It was there where she met Bill Weasley. The only man whom she noted didn't turn red or purple, didn't gape, didn't wax lyrics about her looks, stalk or act mesmerised by her. He treated her as any other- with respect and consideration. He treated her like a person." Gabrielle nodded, firmly. "Bill had worked alongside goblins, who are notoriously prickly and temperamental among our kind. He didn't judge or become mesmerised by Fleur because she was part-Veela, the way other boys were. Nor did he become scared or repulsed because she was part-human, and it wouldn't have been uncommon in those days." Gabrielle stated darkly.
"Her beauty was a small portion of what made up Fleur Delacour." Gabrielle murmured, thoughtfully. "And not her greatest achievement. She was born with it: so was I. We didn't earn it. We didn't work hard for it. We weren't better because of it, and we never saw ourselves to be better simply because of it- everything my sister, my mother and I achieved, we achieved on our own, because of hard work, brains, morals and guts.
"And Bill saw her as more than what she appeared to be. He respected and admired her, he liked her, for every flaw, every quality, every personal characteristic, in and out. He admired her for her hard work, her toughness, her determination and courage- even her stubborness. He loved her spirit, her defiance. He loved that she didn't just take things lying down, even as others expected her to." Gabrielle sighed. "She even kept her maiden name after her marriage, which caused a lot of eyebrows to raise." Bella blinked in shock. "Not because she didn't want to be a part of her husband's family, but because everyone already knew her as Fleur Delacour, and she wanted- proud and truly insecure that she was- to prove to the world that she was strong and not solely defined by her husband or lack thereof.
"Bill didn't mind. He said that she wouldn't be the girl he loved, fierceness, defiance, courage, determination and stubborness, if she didn't do that. He didn't need a label to prove to the world that she was his; as a matter of fact, he had nothing to prove. And people kept expecting Fleur to choose differently, or to dump him." Bella froze as Gabrielle smiled, seemingly unaware of her inner feelings; the shock that slammed into her like a tsunami and the turmoil that brewed like a hurricane. "He was never so insecure as to show or prove to the world that she was his. That's what she loved so much about him; that and the fact that he thought of and considered her as a person- her own person. She belongs to herself. She may listen to him, or she may not, in the end that is her choice and she was going to choose. He would never force her. He respected and admired that about her, and soon he grew to love her in part because of that." She smiled. "Fleur had gone out with other boys before. And usually, well, it really doesn't matter how beautiful you are- as a matter of fact, her beauty was what caused many of her relationships in the past to fail- jealous and paranoid boyfriends never feeling easy- that sort of thing." Bella gazed at her with wide eyes.
"Maybe that's why she chose him: because deep down, both Fleur and I knew that we were both insecure: too concerned with what other people thought about and made us to be, to the point we go wild trying to prove ourselves otherwise. I was simply more shy and more insecure than she was. And I found it hard to find someone like Bill. Someone who would not only see past my looks, see me for who I truly am, as opposed to what they believe me to be or what I seem like, and love me flaws and all. Someone who won't use me as a trophy, plaything or anything they want me to be like or do."
For some reason, Bella's gut squirmed when she described this. She couldn't understand why... Or was it because she didn't want to?
If her heart still could, it would've been hammering in her chest.
"Fleur was and still continues to be my inspiration. My hero." Gabrielle emphasised. "But none of the ones who knew and loved her best- truly knew and loved her- are under any illusions that she is flawless. But she doesn't have to be: not to us.
"Fleur and Bill fought together side by side, during the Second Wizarding War in Britain. Afterwards, she received medals from the French and British Ministries of Magic for valour. She became an Auror, before working only part-time. She and Bill discussed this at length. Bill had initially been posted in Egypt before the war, and they both decided to settle in Britain, although he also decided that they should spend time with France so they could be with our side of the family," Gabrielle murmured. Bella winced. "Their love is based on friendship, familiarity and respect, as much as it is based on romance." She paused.
Bella stared, astonished by what Gabrielle had just said. She had never heard love being described that way, not by Renée or Charlie. Not by her Gran, Marie, either. And yet… it somehow struck a chord.
And a nerve. Bella was still disturbed and stung about how… quickly things seemed to progress between her and Edward. Thirteen months since they first started dating, or eleven when they first started going out, until September when they married.
"You can be horrified and despise what he has done," Gabrielle said evenly, looking at each of the Cullens, stopping at Bella. "And still love him. Love him for every flaw, every quirk, every quality and characteristic that he has. Love him even if he has flaws on his face and skin. Love him for even that. It's perfectly alright: if you know and love your son, your brother and your husband, you can hate what he has done and you can still love him."
Bella swallowed. Esme closed her eyes and looked down. Carlisle wrapped an arm around her. Rosalie stared, not seeing anything, absorbing everything in silence and Emmett looked thoughtful. Jasper's hard gaze seemed to soften marginally whereas Alice bit her lip and looked at the floor.
Bella understood what Gabrielle was saying. Unfortunately, it resonated deep within her that she understood all too well. But now, something irrevocable had happened to her. It took a while before she realised what had happened:
Her image of Edward, of this perfect, flawless, dazzling being too wonderful to exist- was tarnished.
It wasn't that she didn't believe or didn't want to believe Gabrielle- far from it. But Bella had already begun to realise just how stupid she'd been, and how lucky they'd so far escaped unscathed. She wasn't sure if her luck would hold out.
It was the image of Edward that she had in her mind of a flawless being that disturbed her. Was she really that young, that naïve? She'd always thought of herself as mature, and Renée and Charlie both seemed to think so- as did her Gran, Marie. Oh God…
Bella inwardly cringed when she remembered her gran. She wanted to fold inside herself. Her Gran Marie had disapproved and strongly hated Renée's flightiness and inconsistency; her lack of ability to commit herself to any form of hard work throughout her life. Add to that the fact that she'd jumped into an early marriage and parenthood with a man she barely knew at the age of nineteen, Gran had spent the last decade of her life teaching Bella how to look after herself, always warning her and using Renée as an example of what not to be and how not to end up like her: a warning example which Renée had undoubtedly hated and resented to no end. But even then, Bella had detected a small measure of guilt within Renée's eyes, of shame, although it was quickly swallowed by resentment. The two women could barely stand one another, but Gran had seen Bella as some sort of hope of redemption, her only granddaughter who was going to turn out better than her daughter: she would succeed with Bella where she had failed with Renée.
"What does Renée know?" Charlie had asked. Well, it seemed that her mother's dreams about romance had failed her utterly, with both Charlie and Phil. She'd jumped into an early marriage with Charlie and regretted it, griping at Bella the risks and failures of an early marriage. But come to think about it, how long had she known Phil for before they got engaged? Bella's stomach seemed to shrink as she remembered.
Bella admitted to herself that Renée was, if anything, inconsistent and overly reliant upon others, particularly Bella and then Phil. Her sense of judgement was clouded at the best of times. She'd taken Renée's blessing and the reasoning behind it as an irrefutable fact that she was ready for that sort of thing. That unlike Renée, she was mature. Better-prepared even. But it wasn't just that Renée was overly reliant upon her and seemed to look up to her- like a child looking up to and expecting their parent to look after them, Bella thought, queasy- Bella herself knew her flaws all too well: that she'd never quite fit in and never could expect to. Not only was she clumsy, as a child, even when Renée had her do the cleaning, cooking, bills and laundry, she'd often wished for someone else to take care of her. She'd never had any friends apart from Renée and she'd always dreamed of an elder brother who would look after her. Until she learned she was pregnant, Bella had never wanted a child, because she didn't want to look after one (another one, she thought).
Unwittingly, Bella remembered her hesitation, even fear, when Edward popped the question and her reasoning behind it. She was eighteen. Not only had she been scared of Renée's reaction, she'd genuinely been scared about getting married and entering into a lifelong commitment as a teenager.
Bella wanted to snort. A lifelong commitment… She'd wanted to make an eternal commitment with Edward, a man she'd only known for thirteen months and had been willing to trade her human life for it. Carlisle and Esme were right: they'd simply been lucky things turned out so well for her and Edward.
But had they? They'd obviously overlooked a lot of things. It never really sunk in that Edward had broken into her house without her permission, and now that she came to think about it, those eyes which he had glared at her when she first came to Forks High, which she'd almost forgotten, weren't the eyes of someone who was attracted to someone else. They were the eyes of a predator; because Edward found the scent of her blood appealing and could barely resist preying on her, and frustration, Bella thought, eyes widening, with an awful sinking feeling, because he couldn't read her mind.
Rosalie was right: she may have been attracted to him, mesmerised by the sight of his inhuman beauty, but he hadn't been in love with her, not at first sight. After all, why would he? Without her scent, without her latent shield, she was just another face in the crowd. Even as a newcomer. He wouldn't have noticed her; Bella distinctly remembered Edward mentioning that he turned surrounding people's thoughts into something along the lines of white noise. What was another new student, even the police chief's absent daughter, to any of the Cullens? What was the subject of the latest human gossip in this small town to catch the attentions of any of the immortal Cullens, especially since they'd held themselves apart from the other humans to avoid too much attention.
Bella hitched in a breath. Rosalie had known Edward for far longer than she did. As did Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper and Alice.
She… she barely…
Did Edward know her?
Of course, a part of Bella, quite angrily told her that she was being silly: Edward knew her well enough to know how she would feel-
Like when he did when he knew that you would only ever accept his proposal in the end? Like when he took out your car battery for no good reason, other than jealousy? Like when he knew you wouldn't be too upset with him when he did it?
Bella froze. That- that sounded like…
Before Bella could finish that train of thought, Carlisle sighed. "I see."
Manipulation. At its finest.
"Thank you," Carlisle said softly. Esme nodded in assent. Rosalie bit her lip, looking down. Alice was… subdued to say the least. The most vibrant and colourful of the Cullens, the fullest of life, had never seemed so small despite her pixie stature, with nothing to say.
Gabrielle nodded. She stood. "Forgive me, but whatever happens now, your first and foremost priority should be your daughter." She said, looking down at Bella. "Regardless of what happens to Edward and what you feel during or in the aftermath. You have to be there for her: you have to support her, and consider her feelings."
Bella winced, unable to stop herself.
"Her whole world has changed as she knows it," Gabrielle warned. "And I can tell from my own personal experiences, as well as my observations, that being a hybrid does tend to set one apart from the others. She doesn't need to be made to feel that she stands alone, no matter what she and others may feel."
Carlisle nodded. "Thank you." Gabrielle nodded.
"I will go to see the coven's regent," she explained. "When I return, I will come back with news."
She left.
Carlisle sighed and buried his face into his hands. When he looked up, everyone was still subdued and silent.
"She's right," he said. "We have to focus on Renesmee. And accept Edward. He is the son, brother, father and husband that we all know and love. It doesn't excuse what he has done, nor can we justify any of his behaviour, but I would never wish death on him."
Everyone agreed. "All I wish is to prove that Edward can be and come out of this a better man," Carlisle insisted. "I know he can: I have seen him when he gave into his urges to prey upon humans, thinking that just because someone is a criminal that they deserve to be killed. But he was wrong; and he knew it. He came back to us, permanently fixing himself to our thinking, our way of life. I was there: I guided him through it. I understood." He looked at Esme. "We both did."
The Cullens all nodded. Bella bit her lip. "How long after he was turned did he start… his rebellious phase?"
Carlisle seemed surprised by that question. "He was turned in 1918 and left during 1927. He returned a few years later. Why?"
Bella blinked. It wasn't that she didn't know, Edward had mentioned and admitted to her about his rebellious phase, but…
"He never talked much about it," she admitted. "Or about much of his life apart from Tanya, his college degrees and subjects." She paused. "Or about his parents." She gave Carlisle a look.
Carlisle's brow furrowed. "I assumed that he did." He sounded surprised.
"You were the one that told me about them." Bella pointed out. "About his mother and how she asked you to save him."
"I assumed that he told you more afterwards," Carlisle blinked. So did the others.
"He told me that you found him and changed him during the 1918 pandemic but he never mentioned anything about his mother." Bella paused thoughtfully for a while. "Until he gave me her jewellery: a diamond heart for my charm bracelet and his mother's engagement ring."
"Really?" Alice blurted, unable to rein in her surprise. "Because he gave Esme and I some of her pieces- even Rosalie too- and he sometimes spoke of her. Not all the time, but…" she trailed off.
Bella froze. She kept her face expressionless, then nodded.
"Bella," Alice's voice made her look up. It quivered. Alice trembled. Her eyes shone wetly. "I'm sorry! I really am! I never meant to take away your choices or to push you into making one- or to let Edward get away with breaking into your room, following you, or keeping you in the house even though you'd wanted to see Jacob- or to let him take your car battery, I just-" she took a few deep breaths. Alice struggled with words.
"I saw that your future had disappeared and I panicked." A wet, hiccupping laugh. "And Edward saw that and he knew. He also saw that you would be with him." She scoffed, crying without tears. "He didn't want you to become a vampire with him, but he did want you…" she trailed off.
"I know how that sounds like, but he looked so happy in my vision, you both did." Her voice shook. "I never thought-"
"That technically what he did was unacceptable?" Esme arched an eyebrow. "I assume you forced Bella into having that wedding. Did you even ask what she wanted? Like for her wedding dress?"
Alice flinched. She shrunk as if fully expecting to be struck. "No, but…"
"But what, Alice?" Esme's voice was soft and quiet, not dangerous, but… tired. Disappointed. "You were always so excitable, but I never thought you'd get so carried away that you'd neglect to ask the bride what she herself wanted for her own wedding. Nor to consider that she may not have wanted to stay in the house for a sleepover, which I now realise she did not." Regret showed in her eyes. "Perhaps that included all the times you dressed her up, proudly treating her as if she was nothing more than a barbie doll." Alice flinched. "Even though she was a person."
Alice cringed. "We should've put a stop to this much sooner." She looked at Carlisle. He nodded. Regret was in both their eyes as they looked down on her. "We're sorry: to all of you. We neglected to be good parents."
That took their children by surprise. They each looked up at their parental figures, weighed heavy by regret and the remorse they had for their children's actions, and by their own perceived failure to prevent or teach them otherwise.
Bella opened and closed her mouth. This sounded strangely like Charlie's confession of regrets, and- indirectly- Renée. If Phil's breakdown had pushed Renée to seek counselling and go to therapy, and made her erratic, scatter-brained, eternally optimistic, hopelessly immature, eternally dependent, flighty and inconsistent mother to rethink her parenting choices, Bella couldn't begin to imagine the mountain of regret that her mother had had over her daughter's upbringing.
And she didn't want to face the same regrets with Renesmee. Never mind that she had already begun to make mistakes- dreadful mistakes- as a parent. She had to put her foot down; as much as she loved Edward, and as remorseful as he claimed to be, she had to do what she'd failed to do since she'd first known him: stand up to him. Even if he didn't like it. She couldn't fold; not this time. And she couldn't let her own inability to hold a grudge get in the way of that- nor Edward's knowledge of how and what to make her feel so she would fold.
"It's time we retired," Carlisle stated clearly. They all stood. "We might not be able to sleep but we all need the rest." He looked at Bella. "You too."
They turned and everyone walked to their respective assigned rooms. But Bella sat down on the bed, thinking about everything she'd just heard.
Something else niggled at the back of her head, lingering at the edge of her subconscious. Gabrielle's story about her sister, Fleur, and how she fell in love really resonated something with Bella. She didn't know what it was, Bella thought, rapidly scanning her memory for what Gabrielle had said about Fleur. Maybe it was that Fleur refused to take things lying down, and that she'd worked her hands to the bone to become a top student and a champion at a tournament, and eventually landed a job run by people who didn't care about her looks (Bella found that hard to believe, if Fleur looked anything like Gabrielle). Maybe it was the fact that Fleur had ended with a pretty successful career after fighting alongside her husband in a war, and ended up with medals of honour from both the British and French magical governments and seemed to have a pretty good life, having achieved something memorable that had nothing to do with her looks. Or maybe it was her story about how Bill and Fleur fell in love and got together.
Bella froze.
She didn't know how long it had taken for the two of them to get together; Gabrielle had never mentioned it. But now that she thought of it, Bella seemed pretty lacking when compared to Fleur. That grated her: Bella who had always been so touchy and sensitive about her looks, but had been a straight-A student, seemed to have achieved less than Fleur, the girl who had been noticed solely because of her looks but who went on to achieve numerous things that didn't have anything to do with her appearance. Gabrielle, if what she had seen so far was any indication, seemed to be the same. After all, wasn't she working as a diplomat between the wizard and vampire worlds? As an agent of the ICW which was like the United Nations for the magical world? Didn't she say that she was also a scientist and proved her expertise when she told Nessie to eat more human food and to sustain herself on that special blood?
Gabrielle might have been the most beautiful woman Bella had ever seen, but her achievements had nothing to do with her looks.
It startled her: Bella had seen the awed and envious look on Rosalie's preternaturally beautiful face when Gabrielle told her sister's story. Rosalie who looked both mournful and wistful when Gabrielle described her sister's life. Rosalie whom Bella had initially thought to be the most beautiful woman on earth, surpassed only by Edward and Nessie. She remembered Rosalie's story: how her parents saw her beauty as her greatest achievement, how she never seemed to be pushed to be anything other than being the carrier of such beauty that would be her ticket to the good life. It was the nineteen-thirties, Bella knew they weren't as enlightened then than they were now. And Rosalie had been brought up that way, raised to believe that her beauty would take her places, gain her things she would otherwise have lacked: money, status, even love and family.
But Royce had not loved her. Bella dimly remembered Rosalie describing her friend Vera and how her husband had kissed her when she thought Rosalie wasn't looking, as compared to Royce who would kiss Rosalie in front of all the cameras. Rosalie barely knew Royce, that much she made clear; she barely even saw him at anything other than public events and chaperoned dates. She'd mentioned that Royce told her he didn't like the taste of champagne, but she'd never imagined that he'd prefer something stronger. And she'd never imagined that he would do what he did, because she didn't think that he didn't love her.
Bella remembered all those books by Jane Austen and the Brontë sisters, how each daughter was pushed to marry someone as soon as possible, to secure a good future. It was similar to how parents in the twenty-first century pushed their kids towards college degrees and diplomas. It was how it was done back then: their ticket to a good life, a good future, where they felt they would be safe, both financially and in terms of security, was through marriage. Their parents didn't think they could achieve anything on their own. And even if they could, it would be very difficult. It didn't always necessarily turn out so well. Her stomach churned as she thought she might be doing the same thing to Nessie. After all, didn't she accept Jacob's imprinting of her daughter, first when she'd learned that the Wolves wouldn't attack, and then when the Volturi came and she thought that Jacob could spirit her away?
And Nessie… Nessie had been too young to understand what it meant. But she'd been drawn to Jacob, didn't she? While she was still inside of her…
Not anymore apparently.
A chilling thought struck her: was this how Edward thought? But then Edward wasn't too happy when Jacob had imprinted, and he continued to be upset until he realised that it meant that Jacob would always protect Nessie. Even from the Volturi.
Another thought struck her. The reason why Gabrielle's story about her sister had disturbed her: Fleur's romance with Bill and how her sister had described it. It was… totally different from anything she had ever heard or experienced. Bella had been mesmerised when Gabrielle had mentioned that he didn't react because of her looks; that he'd loved her for her spirit, her passion, her brains, her courage and her sheer determination. Before they got together, he'd treated her like any other person. He loved her, even though, on her own sister's admission, she'd been proud. And he probably loved her even for that. Their love, she'd claimed, was based as much on friendship and respect as much as on romance.
He treated her as his equal. He never sought to put a label on her, even his surname, neither did he seek to always make her listen or to do what he wanted her to do. Even if he didn't agree, Gabrielle mentioned that he was always aware that she had a choice: Fleur was her own person, through and through. And Bill not only respected that; he loved her for it.
Bella's stomach churned. Even though her heart was frozen, Bella felt something familiar from ages past; she felt that it should be pounding even though it didn't. All her insides seemed to jump, even flip. But why?
Why did Edward love Bella? Bella always believed that that was because fate had pulled them together, that destiny had pulled the strings, but now she wasn't sure. She wanted to know precisely why. If Edward didn't love her at first sight (not that Bella could blame him) and had only picked her out of the crowd initially because her mind was closed off to him and because of the alluring aroma of her blood, which he tried to avoid for her sake, his and everyone else's, why was he so persistent and couldn't leave her alone, even when he'd warned her that they shouldn't be friends?
Bella didn't have any of the answers. She could only compare Gabrielle's story about her sister and her husband, with that of what Rosalie had told her about her past and Royce. Rosalie, the beauty of the town, had been only praised and seen prospects because of her looks. She'd also been pushed by her parents to get engaged to Royce King the Second, a man she barely knew but was the richest and most eligible bachelor in town who turned out to be a monster. Bella had had no doubts that if Rosalie had stayed at her friend Vera's overnight, or had not gone out in the first place, that she would have been married to Royce and when she did she would've been miserable. She knew almost nothing about Royce, and certainly nothing that showed his true colours which he hid from her as much as the cameras they'd kissed in front of. Yet she'd been pushed into marriage because her parents saw it as a good idea and brought her up accordingly, and as a result, Rosalie herself had believed in the idea and grew up wanting it. Dreaming about it, even.
A chill struck Bella. Was this how she wanted Renesmee to be like? To end up as?
But Jacob was no Royce. Everyone could see that.
Bella remembered seeing the regret on Rosalie's face when Gabrielle told her about her sister. How she'd seemed sad and envious, almost in awe and wistful when she'd heard what Fleur was like and what she'd fought to achieve, and when she told them of what brought Bill and Fleur together. Rosalie had her soulmate in Emmett and even a blind man could see that they were happy. What she regretted was that she wasn't more like Fleur during her human life, instead of turning out the way she did, believing her beauty to be her greatest achievement and ticket to a good future, and becoming engaged to the first handsome rich guy that proposed to her- even though Bella knew that her parents and the time she had been born in were partially, if not largely, to blame.
Bella wondered about her own mountain of regret, how it seemed to grow. Was there something akin to Rosalie inside of her? Something that made her feel… envious- regretful, even when she heard Gabrielle's story?
Bella thought back to what she'd remembered: the uncomfortable twinge in her stomach when Gabrielle described her sister's romance with Bill. How it seemed to be based on friendship and respect as much as romance. How Bill not only didn't seem to mind that his wife had kept her maiden name, but he'd loved it. He loved that about her: that she was clinging to her own identity and refused to let marriage change her, or denote her under her anyone's label, even her husband. He loved it when she chose to either listen or not listen to him, even if he didn't always agree with her.
He'd treated her as part of his family. Bella instantly remembered how Edward had referred to her as Mrs Cullen before they were even married and her stomach flipped itself upside down.
Emmett had also been happy for Rosalie to keep her surname, the same as Jasper for Alice. Granted, Rosalie and Jasper were posing as twins and as far as the town knew, they weren't married. But Edward had immediately referred to her Mrs Cullen before they were even engaged and during their honeymoon before any official change- and she'd accepted it during their engagement without so much as batting an eyelash and called herself with his surname before she signed any official documents. No one had any discussion, or asked her whether she'd be keeping her name. She was Bella Cullen. And she barely seemed to know when she transitioned: when old Bella Swan had disappeared and been replaced by Bella Cullen.
Bella grew cold and her breath caught in her throat. Was she… was she that much of- of a pushover?
Venom rose in her throat. She wanted to throw up and hit herself. How could she ever have been so weak, so stupid, to let anyone have their way with her without asking for her input, or even considering that she may want something different? How could she let anyone get away with that, even the ones she loved? Granted, she didn't let Charlie get away with saying things she didn't like, even about Edward being under his roof after he'd dumped her and then came back. But it didn't mean that she didn't love him! Bella felt her stomach curl itself into a knot. How could she let others run and decide her life without even asking any differently?
Yes, she'd wanted vampirism, she admitted. And she'd wanted Edward. But what about their romance, when compared to Bill and Fleur seemed so…
Lacking. That was the word. It jolted her like a thunderbolt.
Bill had never expected Fleur to change her surname, Bella realised. Bill's relationship with Fleur had been based on mutual friendship and respect as much as love. Bill not only allowed Fleur to make her own choices and listen to whoever and do whatever she wished, even if he didn't agree- but he'd admired her for it. No, it dawned on Bella with an awful, sinking feeling. He didn't allow it; he made it clear that he didn't believe himself to have the power to allow or disallow it. She was his equal. Once again, Bella's stomach churned. She felt sick though she didn't truly understand why.
Edward did not consult her, not when he'd forged her signature to get into Dartmouth, not when she'd cried and been upset when she wanted to go to the prom- Bella cringed at that memory, of how childish she'd been. But Edward hadn't cared: he'd ignored her outright when she made it perfectly clear that she'd been upset, and again when she told him to his face that she didn't feel ready to get married when she was eighteen.
What was Edward's response?
"Well I'm nearly one hundred and ten. It's time I settled down." Bella's breath hitched and became ragged. It threatened to break out into sobs. Her vision blurred.
Was Edward brought up similarly to Rosalie in her day? To get married as quickly as possible, even though these days they'd think him to be too young?
But fact of the matter was, as understandable as that might have been, Edward's words now disturbed Bella. She didn't think too much about it at the time, but Edward seemed to be more concerned… about his being unmarried after so long, as opposed to waiting for her to get ready.
Surely, it was a joke, right? Bella considered. She'd taken it as a joke. She didn't find it very funny but…
Something about that sentence made her feel uneasy.
Esme was right: they could always transform her first. He didn't think too much about making excuses or pacifying Charlie, he'd never had. And the Volturi…
He'd been ready to challenge them. Bella remembered that correctly. Even though she'd wanted to be changed, Edward didn't care about that at all.
He didn't care about what she'd felt, much less what she'd wanted… unless it was as Esme said: to keep her quiet and content.
It felt like a betrayal to Edward, this train of thought. This way of thinking that felt like blasphemy and yet… such a detail seemed small and insignificant in the sheer, overwhelming horror that encompassed her. Bella couldn't deny that it had been true, not just for her, but for everyone else.
It had been the way for Nessie, the way he'd brushed aside her feelings, her wishes for privacy and freedom, along with her defiance. It had been the way for not only the Della Rosas, but the other humans whom Edward had intended to expose himself to, long before their breakup. It had been that way for Charlie, whom Edward found all too easy to reassure her about in case she had any doubts or negative feelings about Charlie's feelings and approval. It had even been that way for his family, who might've gotten into big trouble for letting Edward get close to her in the first place, without ever turning her, if Aro hadn't been so corrupt. It had been that way for Jacob when he'd made certain that he'd overhear about Bella's engagement.
All to keep her quiet and content. Bella squeezed her eyes shut, trying to drown out the incoming tidal wave of images, memories and words. She swallowed to suppress a moan. She tried to remember what Gabrielle had said, about loving someone despite being abhorred by and acknowledging their mistakes, but it was tainted by the other things she'd said: about her sister knowing and loving Bill…
About knowing and loving someone not because they saw them as flawless, but despite the fact and because they are flawed. As people.
Bella let out a breath.
Edward had never been anything other than perfect to her, even when he did things that she didn't agree with or got upset by. She'd even said so himself, to his face. And it made her cringe at just how stupid and weak she now realised she'd sounded. How childish and immature she was. How limited in her worldview. He'd been drawn to her initially, not because he was attracted to her, but because he was drawn to her blood, and he couldn't understand why her thoughts were closed off to him, of all people: a girl who didn't seem like anything special, apart from being the chief's long-lost daughter with the runaway ex-wife.
Now everything looked and sounded tarnished; like blackened silver, everything had lost its glamour and lustre. Even the memories.
Now, I thought about doing this chapter in Bella's POV, but I decided to save it for when she was looking back in and narrating. This is In the Moment. And that is very important.
Now, you may understand why making Gabrielle Delacour, of all people, the Cullens' guide in this new world is necessary. I find it ironic that, despite the lacklustre depictions of romance in the Harry Potter novels- which assuredly has some of the best examples of friendship in fiction- Fleur and Bill's romance is widely popular with the fans. More than any other canon pairing, this couple is popular. By contrast, despite the prevalent themes of romance in the Twilight series, adults and later even fans who had been on Team Edward or Team Jacob seem to have more regrets, looking back. And that includes me. But while people may criticise Bella for not standing up to herself, and making bad choices with sticking around either Edward or Jacob, ask yourself: at that age, in Bella's shoes, would you do it any differently? We all thought it was romantic when we first read the series, when the books and the films were coming out. Everyone was either on Team Edward or Team Jacob back then. It's only now that we look back and see the all the red flags and the warning signs that scream abuse. Unless you were adult critics reading them at the time, tomboys or macho-men who didn't like romances.
This is also why I decided to stick to the original timeline for the merging of the Twilight and Harry Potter series. Bella's age, the amount of time she spent with Edward before getting married and the details of their backstories are all important, even more so as the story goes on.