I'd managed to get my hands on a calendar with Anna's help, and had found the perfect time to put it to use. While the month that would be equivalent to June was simply labeled as Midyear, it seemed to fit with how warm the weather had been getting. Pining down the month was the relatively easy part of this.

God fucking damnit, what day even is it it today?

May 23rd

"No-"

June 1st

"Maybe?"

June 17th

"Ah fuck it," My pen clacked as it hit the desk, hands going through my hair to ease the festering frustration building in my chest, and a raspy growl left my throat. Reading glasses were removed from the bridge of my nose so that I could massage my face without them getting in the way. It'd been too long since I've had to write anything down, still, I scratched down what I was absolutely certain of.

June / Midyear

I arrived at the national park to go camping in December if I recall correctly, and I got 'here' at some point in January from what I could remember. So by that logic my timekeeping had to link back to what was only five months ago, even as it felt like several years. The summer heat had made it obvious how much time had passed, lingering as the sun fell with the moon rising to take its place overhead. My mage's coat instantly discarded a hook near my room's entrance, a place I claimed as my own at the Queen's behest.

Close to the monarch's room, and if what I recalled from our meeting was still accurate, the others were down the hall residing in the west wing. Having a room all to my own would prove to be a blessing, getting more sleep than I had in literal months and drastically sobered to the absurd situation that I was stuck in. The hotel- hostel thing we briefly stayed in had been nice, but sleeping on wood paneling was marginally better than dirt.

I had reserved several objections to even approaching the idea of sleeping in the same bed as Anna or either of the girls with a ten foot pole. My mind hadn't degraded so much as to lose sight of my manners yet, but had strained to maintain a sense of normality with my modern sense of chivalry.

Now though, in this place?

While I did find it odd that their highnesses slept in separate chambers within different wings of the estate, such a detail was treated with little fanfare. Things were quiet for once, maybe this calm would last until the next storm by this month's end. I would readily confess to being guilty of not wishing to rock this boat, willing to lie to the king for the queen's sake should the situation call for such a thing. Only to reprimand myself, my common sense pushing through to keep me from banging my skull against this accursed desk.

Before, back home, I likely would have been far more apprehensive to lie to a man about his children. Course I was 'back home' when I had held that opinion, holding the truth so much higher that I did most other things.

As a rule, I'd decided to play it by ear and follow what everyone else was doing, just as I did with most things I found to be strange in this strange land. Moving somewhere safer, anywhere safer had been my only goal before. This was sufficient for now. Even if I couldn't bring myself to actually lay down and rest beside my dogs with a crescent moon passing overhead, the celestial body was far larger than it would be back on earth. Little details like it kept me up at night.

Despite knowing better, I did my best to ignore another one of the thousand strange things in this world. All for the hope that I wouldn't be here for that much longer, doing my best to avoid establishing any long term roots here.

A yawn parted my lips, briefly pulling me from my task whilst in the middle of documenting what had occurred during my investigation into a certain mansion's basement. Comparing mental notes with the photos I'd taken to attempt to jog my memory. My procrastination had gotten worse since I arrived.

That terrible habit extended to navigation, the parchment leaning against the window sill with depictions of this world inscribed with sparse annotations. A tool that I used to figure out my location, of which direction that I could take the children to flee towards next. It was a task that I handed off to Anna with the full hope that she knew a path forward that I would've otherwise been ignorant to.

I really could've used a map from the very beginning.

Last I heard Nintendo came out with the switch recently, this could be the world that- What was it called? Fire Emblem: Warriors is supposed to be set in. Regardless, I don't have much to go off of to begin with and I don't remember my days binging those games anymore than I do anything else.

God, could this be Fates? Not like I played that one either, my only point of reference being the mobile gacha game but I suppose the possibility might be worth writing down.

To be entirely fair, the continent does look incredibly similar to Judgral, excluding the land bridge connecting it to another landmass in the north east. I'd hardly touched the map with my inability to fully make sense of it, but still recognized the letters that made up the names of cities and towns. That did little to convey any meaning or true understanding.

For now though, it proved to be sufficient for the work I had ahead of me. Rough estimations were better than nothing, things needed to be noted down before I had forgotten them completely. The screen of my phone shined a crisp 52%, and with a blink that shrouded the outside world from view brought it down to 34%. Flashlight function in full effect, bathing my desk with a bright light when the candles had long since gone out. The artificial glow granted a clear view of my charred fingers as they throbbed from the near constant busy work. The notebook for which I had been etching my thoughts into, probably resembled a schizophrenic's mad ramblings more than anything else if one were to be honest.

I'd have to see about acquiring more candles. Anna would probably know where I could find a source of light that wouldn't be blaring down upon me.

My sleep deprived brain connected the dots a moment later, eyelids flickering in an effort to shake myself into a higher state of awareness. Light beamed down onto my eyelids, gradually brightening up the room behind me as the dawn finally broke. The room was still cold, but my heart sped up to make up the difference as a shiver went up my back.

This all didn't feel real, I could briefly fool myself into thinking that I had been camping only for something to blow that delusion out of the water. With magic ruling flowing through my veins that beckoned the same fuzzy feeling as a thunderstorm. My tongue running raw and numb as a spell would reach its apex of being cast, contrasting so deeply with various wounds that anchored me back to reality.

I was out of place here, the feeling so instance that I could sense a wrongness in my bones. It just felt weird to think of myself as a magician. All I lacked was a black cat and big witch's hat, maybe a big brushy brown broom to go along with it. Maybe I'd feel less out of place with such additions, but if I stopped lying to myself there weren't many clues as to what I should do.

My retinas burned from staring directly into the sun as it rose into the sky, shaking free from my idle thoughts. Fully awake as I rummaged through my actual backpack hidden within my rucksack, one of my pups chuffed at the noise I was making.

Distinctly plastic sounding clacks rang out as I lifted a bag out from underneath the rest of my original belongings. Spilling various small white and orange bottles onto the desk, covering my map in an assortment of medicine that I'd mostly forgotten about.

Thank god I brought my own shrooms and didn't go foraging or I'd probably be even more messed up in the head. Reining in my focus for important events was already proving to become an arduous task with the constant stress born from paranoia. My time here had not been good for my drinking, but while I heavily doubted that I would develop a problem with my alcohol during my time here. I knew better than to leave things to chance anymore.

The regular attacks that we'd endured even as we joined up with Christophe reinforced this line of thinking. Turning into a crude form of timekeeping, becoming excitable when we had gone too long without a confrontation. I would take my meds before, get drunk with the man after a victory, and pay for it dearly in the morning.

"Lazy dumbass," My musings came out in a tired huff, before slowly blooming into true self hatred. My dogs laying at my feet whimpered to hear the reprimand I directed at a past that solely lived on in my own memories. Personal mana tainted by my fluctuating emotions physically warped the wood as I gripped the desk too tightly under the heat of my frustration, "Fuckin moron."

Uncapped and nearly empty, the word 'Aripiprazole' was the only thing my eyes could focus on among the various bottles that lay strewn across the desk. Dumping forth the medication so I could estimate what I had left, of how much time that I'd be able to buy. Loading a single bottle filled to the brim with an assortment of random mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, and antidepressants. An entire history of trial and error in an effort to regain control over myself, antithetical to how magic seemed to love flow unrestricted instead.

A choice weighed down on my mind. Solely as the thin wire that I believed to hold my worst aspects at bay, and I held it as if the plastic burned my skin to touch. Like I was holding my own soul in my hands, dreading the day that it would slip away. There wasn't really a medical textbook in my pack that I could easily refer to, and for once I wished that I had listened to my mother's wishes for me to pursue medicine. I doubted that I'd come up with a better solution anytime soon.

Do I try to make it last for as long as I can, losing myself one piece at a time? Or do I use as advised, and risk such a drastic change when it runs out?

I was furious, angry at myself more than anything else at this point and so, so tired of trying to make sense of it all. Mania briefly drove a dark desire into my heart, of wanton destruction like such a thing would make everything alright. To leave still warm crimson scorch marks, someone at my feet beaten black and blue. My anger latched onto the soft snoring of the only two other creatures in my room, driving it unreasonably high in spite of my best efforts. Breaths came in short bursts, clenching my eyes tightly to snuff out the temptation before it could worsen.

Outside my room when I opened my eyes again, dark hues mixed with the sun to bathe the world in a warm red to spill forth the dawn.

What was clear as day to me was that I required more time. Going without control could be managed for a time, but garnering the opportunity to make use of it would be harder to accomplish. . . So that I'd at least know what to say now that I knew how to say it.

A bit backwards, but I'd just have to deal with the hand I've been dealt under the current circumstances.

My autopilot would be getting a lot of practice until there was something that needed my input that no one else could provide. How depressing to think that my customer service experience would kick in so strongly, but aside from the biweekly fights? This shit was so insanely boring without some sort of distraction, and I nearly went through with joining Christophe for poker. However, free beer kept me from indulging in that particular vice.

I swear these people drink more alcohol than water. Almost makes up for not being able to freely use my computer without having to look over my shoulder. But. . . Things would be different now.

This oasis of a fortress city was a gold mine of opportunities, it was a notable concession that

lessened my paranoia. Finding it in me to sleep in, to even lower my guard felt too unnatural, but perhaps more palatable after I had worked through the night. My relief had felt like a drug, still lingering in some form that I felt even now.

My papers fluttered from a sudden gust of wind, a rush of air that brushed through my hair. The shadowy forms of a squad of pegasus knights flew past my window, briefly blocking out the sunlight as a switch was flipped inside of me. Lightning sizzled from within my right fist's tight grip, "Sorry!" rang out from one of these warrior women.

The laughter of her comrades that followed was even louder than the young woman's apology. A hint of sympathy for her settled in after she returned a paper of mine before it could reach the ground. Leaning on the edge of my window I waved back to them once she had left to join them, an older woman acting as squad leader bore a furious look on her face. Static popping along my fingertips while my countenance must have been the perfect picture of exasperation yet amused.

Training at the crack of dawn seemed even more common than I'd previously thought.

There was plenty for me to rightly be pissed about, even more reasons to feel bored. . A part of me, more carnal in nature that had been long neglected to deal with the enormous amount of stress and the source of it. Brought a question to mind as I gazed at these knights going through their exercises, 'Did I really have to go so soon?'

A final, distinctly plastic click snapped me out of admiring the view.

More than a dozen tablets and pills shook in my hand as I brought them up to my eyes, visible from the outside yet shaded with a thin coat of amber from the plastic. A collection of medication lay in my hands, whatever was left stored inside of a single container.

"Pft," An audible thump brought my attention to one of my pups that had hit her head upon getting out of bed. The choice appeared before again, it would be so easy to use one of them as an excuse to be free of this horrid shit a little longer. Regardless, today mattered too much for me to simply leave things to chance. So with little fanfare. I swallowed one of them dry without checking what it exactly was, "Priorities Alcides, priorities."

. . .

"You're a [fucking asshole]," Christophe's biting remark brought out a small chuckle out of me, even as the training blade in his hand smacked me straight against my jaw. Pain blossomed from where the blow landed, a level of mania slept out from where agony might have belonged. Though I rightly deserved it I was irked all the same, "This is [important information] that you should be aware of, just in case no one has ever [informed] you of such a thing."

"Oh," I asked my exhausted friend with a hint of a shit eating grin, "How so Khris?"

"Oh fuck off aLcIdEs," My friend's piss poor imation of my name almost brought me to tears, desperately trying cough into fist to hide my amusement. It left me wide open for him to smack me over the head with the flat of his blade, my mirth overcoming any hint of negativity while Christophe just became more bitter. Yestersday's antics had brought the young man no end of grief, "Lady [Patraca corrected] me when I was [introducing everyone], in front of everyone, and you just [fucking watched]! I [covered] for you when you went all weird and super formal like, and in return what do I get for it? The horses hooves! The hell man?!"

I allowed him the free hit, that much and a bit extra was probably warranted given the ego bruising that took place. While I was busy speaking with the. . . Queen? Consort? Not so secret lover? The woman that the acting ruler had kissed. My own recollection of that whole meeting and conversation felt strange the longer that I thought about it, but I chalked it up to missing social cues. The stress had likely long since made me a tad loopy by this point in time. A problem for another time.

Alas, Christophe had taken up the task of introducing everyone to the king. So it was especially unfortunate when she corrected him on the topic of my name, the deer in headlights look had been to die for. I nearly died as I lay on the floor a third time that day, both from laughing the air out of my lung and Christophe's near murderous glare that shone down on me.

"Pahhahahahah! I still can't stop to think- hahah, of how you used that damn pet name for me! My face hurts so much and burns worse," Christophe's query went ignored as my laughter eventually lessened to a mere chuckle. Lifting the front of my tunic to wipe my face down of sweat, my wet back was unstuck from my shirt with a passing summer's breeze. , "That was the name, and a title that you lay at my feet. Heh, so it's not my fault that you never asked!"

The sound of his thick skull slammed into the wooden fence that I had been leaning against, shaking in tune with my chuckling. A loud groan rang out from where Christophe had hid his face beneath crossed arms, Ferdinand watched on with a pensive look. Not much of an audience, but the kid had apparently wanted to see 'How true [knights] of the crown [trained]' or something, and Khris hadn't had the heart to shoo him away.

Did I feel bad for Christophe? Yeah.

Should I have been less lazy and at least try to tell him my actual name? Yeah.

Would it have been a good idea to do so before we were in the presence of someone important? Probably.

Do I regret pranking the man? Fuck, no. That had the funniest shit that I had ever witnessed since I got here, and had been well worth it.

"You sure that you don't have any [affiliation] to the [empire's] more [esteemed] mage corp? At least an - a- uh? A [acolyte] of the dark arts at least?" He was beaten and just looking for some scrap to save his dignity. Though in what way me being a member of nobility would help his bruised ego eluded me, and I just stared at him. The answer seemed to disappoint him in the form of the confused look that I bore at his questioning. The knight simply swore out loud, "Damn."

Ferdinand hummed along in thought as our conversation progressed, eyes bouncing between speakers until something seemed to click inside of his head. The teenager remarked with a teasing smirk, "So that's why it looked like you had [swallowed] a sour grape, a [stellar display] sir."

"Fuck off kid," Khris mumbled out words that I managed to hear perfectly clearly, being that I was sat so close to him.

"As mere as a man he is, as he has taken a joke well. That much saves what face is left. So be soft to the poor old man," I joked back after my tunic had been stripped off my chest, and instead used the cloth to better mop away sweat accrued. The familiar yet unsettling feeling of vulnerability crawled down my bare back as I gave Christophe a proper reply, "Also, no to your point Khris. I am but a mere man, of a house less than your own. Sorry, not sorry."

Ferdinand was promptly sent into a fit of giggles at the comment, and Christophe simply swore in manner too fast for me to catch.

"Hmhmhmmhm," The boy coughed to clear his throat before throwing in his own two cents, "You are an evil one, lord of wolves, please remind me never to cross you if this is how far you are [willing] to go for the sake of a mere jest."

The teenager acted out a mocking bow in front of me, taking our practice swords to be stowed away for further use. While the court yard was barely occupied this early in the day, and the barracks instead abuzz with activity.

"You better watch your back Adolf," Christophe huffed at the remark, sending his own half hearted threat with a jovial tone in his voice. The young noble ranted as his arms gestured wildly as he spoke, "I am still [immensely] bitter over this, and I will get you back at some point. So watch your back! . . . How the fuck did you get away with it for so long anyway? I [could've] sworn that I [would've] found out at some point."

"When was the last time that you can [remember] that Anna called me Adolf? . . . Oh, and the kids did learn of my true name the same day you did. If that makes you feel well," Explaining the steps that had gone into deceiving people made me truly realize how little I'd gone out of my way to socialize. Promptly ignoring the implications of my past behavior for the purposes of teasing, "In other words, it's an issue of skill on your part."

"What-"

"How is that even [possible]?"

They were genuinely confused, and gratefully ignorant of my more antisocial tendencies. A knight straight up confounded in one corner while the squire was quite intrigued as he hopped up one of the wooden beams and took a seat. I searched my memories for some example to make it more sensible to them, "The girls most of the time just call me, 'sir' or some such word. Anna at times will at time also call me that when no other was near. . . Don't know, I'm lucky I guess?"

Christophe had this 'look' on his face, clearly meaning that he had information that I wasn't privy to. I didn't like his smug knowing grin, it knew too much. So I just left the bait well and truly alone, while in the background Ferdinand seemed to be digesting what I had said. A glint of light flashed from his ring finger and allowed me to catch sight of a silver band shining under the summer sun.

There was nothing more to say, nothing that could breach the wall formed from having skipped breakfast to train. I'd fucking kill for a good cup of coffee, ah, the easily accessable alcohol would have to do I suppose. Even Dasani water would be met with thanks.

Ok, maybe not that far.

"Aside from the point, this thing shall be no major issue as we move into the next day. Am I right, yay or nay?"

"Ugh," Christophe's face fell at my question, a serious consideration brought his voice low to think an answer through. He spoke with a formal tone that I'd only really heard him use while in the presence of his king, "I guess so. . . Some of the nobles will be a bit, ya know, miffed to know that a [foreigner] has [managed] to claim a place so close to the king's ear. But aside from that there is [nothing] too [concerning]. Just try not to ruffle [feathers], and I'll offer a piece of advice if I may."

"Good advice, from you sir?'

"Quiet child," My friend barked exasperatedly, likely regretting allowing the eager young man to join us for pointers. Not that I could be much more than a punching bag, as Christophe was still leagues better than I with likely years more of skill under his belt. He made sure to punctuate how raw strength could only take you so far in either sort of duel, "[Remember] that the court is not the same place as the [battlefield], so pick your fights. Or don't, that would also be fun to watch."

"You talk as if to refer to the past?"

"[Something] like that," Embarrassment clearly shone on his face as his neck was flush red, idly scratching the back of his neck. A deep contrast to how some parts of my chest had been beaten blue in turn, "Urgh, you're still a [dastard] you know."

"Truuuuuuue," My reply was but a single tired and drawn out word, an innocent victim of the summer heat. Fredinand hung off the balls of his feet, balancing on the wooden beam just waiting for our argument to kick off again. Lazy popping a joint in my shoulder as I shot back a response, "Do what you fuckin' told in the next fight then, and you won't have this sort of thing bite you in the ass once more."

"Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-!"

"Oh shut up about it already!"

Chapter 12 Note:

Be me, finish writing and posting a chapter of this great story that sober me tries desperately to translate on behalf of drunk me. Truly this is the most groundbreaking piece i've ever written, there are no flaws in my designs. These scene comparisons are worth the world ten times over, "You have truly outdone yourself me. Time to treat me, myself, and I to some captain morgan and coke."

Wake up the next day. Start writing down my own thoughts on the chapter, realize, dread the truth. "My poor boi was fucking shafted by the creative process, he was innocent in this conflict, but you butchered him in the sake of progress!"

Go through the 5 stages of grief, "Who is the bastard that allowed this to happen?"

Look at past me with 3 redbulls in hand and dream, "Ah, that explains it. Never again will I allow such incoherent schizophrenia to grace this story ever again."

The author lied as easily as they breathed.

I tried to experiment with chapter 11, and ended up looking like a goddamn murder scene. A bad one at that, really should stop taking inspiration from animations. Point is, as a temporary measure, I'm splitting it into two separate chapters so the back and forth isn't so disorienting.

To be honest, I think that I've done enough experimentation. Now, it's time to do a soft reboot/revisions. Such is the nature of this announcement, while nothing too drastic about the story will change, this will be but a touch up of the graphics so to speak. One of my changes will be to add more flesh to the chapters of 10 and 11 as I split them into their own chapters, (THIS DOES NOT APLLY TO THE FFNET VERSION, why? I'm lazy that's why. Also because the format for editing chapters here sucks) but my focus will be on adding polish to all chapters in order that they were created. I was very indecisive on a bunch of my ideas, so I want to have a chance to go back and add some foreshadowing. Strengthen certain plot threads, replace the dialogue/translation system with my new version, and do a lot more character work. Oh while I'm at it, probably add a few more interludes. At the moment I'm aiming for an interlude every 3 chapters.

I don't really have anything to comment when it comes to this chapter, nothing really comes to mind. More of a slice of life thing. Feel like I would have more to say if the last chapter wasn't such a mess. Just one of those chapters that I don't feel could be 'fixed', maybe my soft rebooting will shove more plot into this slot.

I'm gonna go test mod combos for xcom now.