Chapter 4

She'd never felt so exhilarated!

Lydia had spent so long trying to play into an unfair world, trying to keep her emotions under control so she could make it through without losing her mind or create new unjust circumstances for herself. But the last 2 days had done it, they'd pushed her over the edge. Between her already exhausted mental fortitude, her near death experience and the overwhelming guilt and frustration over everything around them. She couldn't, she simply couldn't. She had snapped.

Their combined body whipped and tore and pummelled stony flesh and tainted weapons, claws and teeth and tendrils all moving with primal unison. Symbiote and host almost in unison. Whenever another troll emerged from the rising smoke it was cut down in moments. It didn't take long for the pair to eradicate the entire group, or at least most of it. They'd have to go looking for any left.

She was overwhelmed by everything that she had held back, all that had built up over the years, the memory of the baker bringing her more pain. She tore at these raiders but felt she deserved to share their fate, after all it was her actions that led to this. But she knew she wasn't thinking straight in the tsunami of rage and pain that was now pouring out of her, she hadn't even registered they hadn't stopped roaring until the fight was over. She still had more to let out, but there was nobody left.

The Symbiote was overwhelmed too, she could feel that secondhand. It had fed on and harnessed her rage and it too was consumed by their combined rancour. It was overwhelmed by her guilt, her remorse for everyone that had been hurt or even died in this attack. It didn't understand these emotions, it had never felt them before. It was scared, angry, confused. So they both fell back into what they knew best. Rage.

That's when they noticed something. A few silhouettes beyond the smoke, they couldn't make out the larger one. But given how it hadn't run from the carnage, it was probably another troll, and its seemingly shorter stature was a trick of the swirling air and billowing smoke. The smaller ones however Lydia could make out. The pointed ears, the slight reptilian smell on their tongue and the different scent of inhuman sweat. Those were goblins.

Lydia knew of these creatures vaguely, years prior they'd been taken as slaves after an attack similar to this one. So why had these ones stayed? Did the trolls somehow instil loyalty in their small captives? It didn't matter, she couldn't think straight. They had stayed, and that meant they sided with the trolls. So they'd meet the same fate. They lumbered forward.

The group finally started moving back now, as if they were in a trance before. They contemplated letting them run, but no. Last time they'd been reckless this happened. She could still feel the heat of the flames on their skin, the slight pain it caused. The large figure grabbed one of these flames, holding it by a broken piece of wood in a makeshift torch and began waving it around in front of them. That annoyed the Symbiote who recoiled and stepped back to avoid the searing flames, it recovered in a moment and a single tendril snapped the torch in two. More tendrils emerged from their hand and wrapped around the figure yanking it into the firm grasp of their clawed hand. The Symbiote moved the figure closer to their jaws, then they heard the figure scream. And Lydia froze.

In an instant her rage was gone, her mind was still to muddled to think straight but she recognised that voice. The Symbiote didn't, it tried to gently move their arm to finish the figure off, but she remained rigid. Then she closed their maw and examined the figure through the smoke to confirm her suspicions. And she was right, this was no troll, no threat. This was her friend. This was...

"Audrey..?"

She immediately placed her back on the ground and took a step back. What was she just about to do? She almost ate her friend. "Lydia?" Audrey's voice cut through the smoke. "Lydia is that you!? What happened to you!?" The terror in her every syllable was palpable.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. It's a long story, but i can't explain now."

"Lydia what the fuck is going on!? Why are the raiders here and WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT!?" Everyone was barely maintaining their composure.

"Look I'll explain when we're safe, but first why are you with the goblins?"

"I'm helping them escape. They aren't here by choice." Lydia's empathy returned at that moment, and another pang of guilt was added to the weight on her heart. She was about to massacre slaves for her own selfish breakdown. The Symbiote spoke next.

"There are others left trapped inside, we will free them. You will bring them all to safety." Audrey nodded in response with visible confusion. They then moved, bringing the goblins with them. Neither of them could tell how long they spent searching for survivors in the blaze and extracting them. How many terrified expressions and voices they encountered as they worked to save anyone they could. It may have been minutes, maybe an hour or two. But eventually the officials arrived and began using wind magic to clear the smoke. That's when they took it as their cue to leave.

"We can't let them see us." Lydia and the Symbiote spoke in unison, Audrey's confusion, fear and exhaustion were still evident on her face. But she understood.

"I'll help the Fire Marshals. But when I'm done we need to talk." She spoke and there was no room for argument or debate. They nodded and took off on all 4's speeding preternaturally away from the city. The Symbiote believed they were heading back to the dorm, which is why it grew confused when she diverted course. It would have to understand, but there was somewhere she needed to go. Something she had to do to clear her heavy heart.

The fires had cleared by the time Chain had arrived hours after the attack. He had been too far away when he noticed the smoke, only just returning from a diplomatic trip to another kingdom to discuss trade. When he noticed he and his men rushed over.

The devastation was brutal, almost every building uninhabitable, so many lost in the blaze. He ordered his men to investigate and ensure the survivors were uninjured. Chain had seen similar fires before while on ventures, but those were only confined to forests. Part of the natural cycle, this was something different, intentional...

As he wandered through the remnants of the town he felt a pang of shame, he should've been here, he could've stopped this, or at least saved some of the lost souls. That's when he noticed something among the debris, just beyond the shattered fountain. A weapon, a mallet, too big for any single man. That got his attention.

He sorted through the nearby debris, finding a sight close by, one that made his stomach turn. Two bodies, one whose head was practically a dried puddle, his body incinerated a short distance away. The second body was what intrigued him, the stony skin, mossy hair and... mutilation like he'd never seen even in his wildest nightmares. A troll raider, ripped and gutted. "Now I know who the mallet belonged to." Chain mused as he sifted through more debris, finding more troll bodies than human ones. "What the hell happened here?"

Trolls were incredibly tough creatures, their skin hard to pierce, their bones almost unbreakable by mortal man even with magic. But here a dozen and a half lay, broken and twisted and... drained? Did something feed on these cursed warriors? "SIR!" A call from behind him. He turned around to face one of his men. "We talked to some of the locals and... you're better off hearing this yourself."

Chains arrived at the group of survivors, a surprising number at that. Something he was thankful for.

"I heard you all have something strange to tell me about what happened here?" He spoke through his knight's helmet, the voice coming out slightly distorted. One of the townsfolk, an older man, spoke up first.

"T-T-There was a M-Monster! It attacked those raiders!" He looked frantic, confused. Chain didn't blame him, he sympathised with the man. "Did anyone else see this monster?"

Several of the others nodded their head, and a little girl spoke up. Even with the expression on her face she still looked tired, scared, and he didn't doubt those burns on her forearms hurt. "It saved us! It drove away the bad men and pulled us to safety!" She spoke as if she had witnessed a superhero, but her words brought Chain unease. A monster had saved the town? He wanted to believe it, but the carnage he saw in the debris gave him pause.

"and what did this monster look like?" He spoke calmly in a gentle tone, this wasn't an interrogation and he didn't wanna scare any of these people into thinking they were in trouble. The young one stepped forward.

"He... She...? It? I couldn't tell. But it was very tall! And it looked like... ink?" Now they were both confused.

"ink?" He tilted his head to the side?

"yeah! It looked like its skin was constantly moving, it was scary... it didn't have eyes either, just this weird, sharp spiral symbol."

"This doesn't look like any monster I've ever heard of."

"It's real! I saw it, it saved me, saved us all! When I saw it its veins were glowing, its claws and teeth were glowing! I couldn't tell if it was a demon or an angel or... I don't know what it was..." She looked away before another townswoman chimed in.

"it looked almost human, but... wrong. Its limbs too long, it looked almost feminine but had more muscle than a horse." She looked pale, dirty. Chain felt pity, but each piece of information was valuable, he didn't know if this monster was genuinely helping people, was looking for something, or was up to something he could only begin to guess. That's when someone else chipped in, a young man he recognised as the town's librarian. A good friend.

"It had a friend with it, young one too." That caught Chain off guard. That information would prove vital in his investigation.

"Pardon?"

"yeah, couldn't have been older than a high schooler if I had to guess, but don't quote me on it." The librarian answered. A high schooler, that gave Chain an idea to kill 2 birds with one stone.

"Listen!" He quickly changed the subject to a less ominous topic. "We're gonna give you shelter at Anchor Academy until we can rebuild your homes... I'm sorry I wasn't here to stop this, but we're gonna do everything in our power to make up for it. And stop something like this from ever happening again!" His voice carried determination even behind his knight's helmet. That brought some comfort to the survivors, moments later, they set off to break the news to the school. Chain wouldn't offer the Academy a choice, but he would lend a helping hand and a few of his men to guard them during this time.

They'd arrived at their destination.

The symbiote was still confused as to why Lydia had taken them to a cathedral of all places. After such a battle, with tired bodies and... it then started to understand. Her mind was racing, practically tearing itself to bits. But this place held importance for her, she wasn't here for practical reasons. It didn't understand why, emotions were so new and confusing. It had learned the most primal ones from other hosts, anger, fear and curiosity. But this host had such complex and illogical emotions. It didn't understand, and that frustrated the symbiote, it couldn't fix something so alien. It retracted, taking the shape of a simple black pair of pants and a coat. Her pyjama shirt could pass off as a day shirt anyway so there was no point in disguising it. As it did this she collapsed to the floor, it should've expected that, switching between different sizes and proportions would require adjustment she wasn't ready for. It would have to remember she couldn't adjust as fast as it did, but it couldn't change its mistake right now, so it shifted and took control of her breathing. Slow, deep breaths to slow her racing heart. With any luck this might help its host pick herself back up soon.

Lydia's mind was blank, the night's events playing in fragmented clips. What she had done, who she had saved... and who she had failed to. She saw a flash of the raiders, their deaths... at her hands. And Audrey, that memory stung.

She had almost eaten Audrey... she had almost eaten her closest friend alive. Her mind focused on that memory, how blinded she was by fury, by the smell of blood and blaze. By the taste of blood. And the part that stung the most... she enjoyed it.

She enjoyed watching those raiders die, she enjoyed the feel of their stony skin crumbling under her... their grip. She enjoyed the sound of muscle being torn and bone splintering. The sound of screams and roars, their screams... her roars. She had given into her rage again... and she enjoyed it. Lydia rolled onto her back, the midnight breeze brushing against her face and only now making her realise she had been crying. The world started coming back to her then.

She was laying on grass, cold grass. It was swaying in the breeze, though through her tear clouded eyes it was all just a strange blur of colours. The breeze itself was also cold. She felt the wind on her bare skin, which caught her attention. She reached to touch her face, hands were cold as well, warmed by the tears. But the face she felt was beyond a doubt her own. That's when she noticed she was wearing a jacket, and pants. Her hands quickly grasped the jacket, it was cold, and even through her tears she could see it had a strange sheen as if it were wet or polished. The creature.

She finally wiped her tears, but it did nothing to stop the torrent, only cleared her vision. And her mind returned to its torment. Her weakness. Why did she have to give in again?! She had spent years being able to quell it, to shackle it, so why was it so hard now?! Why couldn't she control herself anymore?! She had lost control 3 times over the last couple days. And each time something bad happened. She lost it on Gabriel, which will likely come back to bite her later. She had stormed out of academy grounds like a child just to cool off, and she had nearly died. And in that lapse of judgment she had provoked the troll raiders, she was the reason the town was ablaze, she was the reason why they would find bodies come morning. So many suffered, because she was weak.

The Symbiote felt another primal emotion now, fear. It had been listening to the host's mind, and could feel her pain. It didn't understand this pain, and so it grew afraid. It didn't believe its attempts at calming her down were working. Humans are so complex if slowing their heart and breathing does nothing. Should it speak? What would it say? What could it say? It knows she won't listen if it tries to push the blame on someone else, no matter how logical it presents its argument. It didn't know what to do, and that made it more scared than it had been in eons.

Lydia rose to a sitting position. Then noticed the landscape, more notably the light of the fire in the far distance. They'd travelled far, how long had it been since they took off? Would Audrey be ok? Where are-

She recognised where she was now. Where she had unconsciously brought them both. The locus. She turned around and saw it, a large, elegant building that rose high. The carefully carved stone and meticulously cared for plant life. The sanctuary of the land.

Lydia understood then, she was... is... in pain, so she sought sanctuary. To be closer to the source of existence. Her source. She rose to her feet, mind still storming like the now dwindling fires of the town. She focused on breathing and quickly discovered she wasn't the one controlling her lungs. It was her new... friend. Was it her friend? It had helped her so far but... it had also fed into her rage just as she did. It had fed on the raiders, she didn't know how. But she felt it drain them of something. It had coerced her to lie to hide itself. What was this creature? And what did it really want..?

She had shook her head and lowered it in a small gesture of shame. That wasn't right, it was trying to help. It had saved her, given her power, faced a force it was weak to... that it was scared of... just to help her. It had killed for her, just to satisfy her fury.

Lydia had endured enough of this mental obstacle course. She shook her head one last time and walked inside, ignoring the fact her lungs weren't under her control for the time being. She would take them back later. The light greeted her immediately. Unlike the tragedy at the town it didn't sear or hurt. Unlike the field outside it wasn't a depressing cold. It was warm, resonating with her very soul.

The Symbiote studied the inner walls carefully through the eyes of its host. The stone was as refined as the outside. But everything was draped in purple cloth it didn't recognise. There were rows of tables along the sides of the room, all spaced out enough that this room could house dozens if not a hundred humans. These tables were long, and they were made of wood, smooth wood too. Shiny wood.

The thing that had caught its host's eye was the gentle, white glow that emanated from several places in the room. The candles glowed white. Several tubes of the same light, as if the light was more than just light, and it was being kept on display. Then it noticed the warmth. It felt so cozy, the host's turmoil seemed to dampen partially when she drew near these lights. It noticed each table had crystals, each containing the same light. It reached one long tendril to inspect one of these crystals.

it was coarse. The warmth felt alien, but it didn't want to pull away for some reason. Something seemed... familiar?

"What is this place?"

Lydia's attention snapped back upon hearing her mysterious friend's words. She should've expected its confusion. "It's the Locus."

"Locus? It looks like a cathedral."

"in a sense it is. This light..." She held out an arm towards one of the tubes of light. "It's what this place was built around, the source of existence." She felt it coil within her at those words.

"Celestial energy? Here?"

"Is that what you call it back home?"

"Back home we call them celestials. The makers of all matter in the universe. Giant creatures."

Lydia raise an eyebrow. "You've seen one?"

"only the head. Big enough to be a planet."

"Well if what you're saying is true... then they used this stuff to do it. This is the energy that created life." She smiled, the presence of this energy proving to have an effect on them Both.

"And this place gathers this energy." Lydia shook her head.

"They built this place because the area contained such high concentrations of this energy. It's a place to be closer to your source." Her tone had become gentler as she spoke. Her mind was no longer on the carnage she had witnessed, the light had provided a distraction, something to cling to. The Symbiote noticed. It had one final question.

"I've never been around this type of energy before. Yet I've felt it before, in more focus than any source in this place. In us. In you." Lydia's eyes widened in surprise at this revelation. Could it..?

She took a deep breath and reached out to caress one of the crystals on the table. "That's my soul... the source of life and... and magic." Her mood dampened at the reminder of how her situation began. "The fact you can feel it, sense it... that... that shouldn't be possible. Are you sure it's not your soul?" She tried to reason, she didn't need any more world shattering stuff right now.

"No. I wasn't made by the celestials. My kind weren't from this energy. I don't think I have a soul." And there it was, something new to process. She felt frustrated yet sympathetic. She couldn't imagine living without a soul. She didn't say anymore, just held the crystal close to her chest and curled into a ball on the table. She just needed a little time before going back to the Academy. To Audrey. To the Chaos she had unwittingly started.