Edward Cullen's POV
Forgetting Angela's birthday had shaken me to the core.
I was questioning everything.
If I had really loved Angela, then how could I just forget her birthday?
How could I forget such an important thing and just be focusing on the sexual aspects with Isabella?
How could a casual fling make me forget such an important day about the most important person of my life?
No... I couldn't let that shit distract myself like that!
I had promised myself that nobody was going to take Angela's place in my heart.
Nobody.
And then I slept with someone a few times, and I forgot about her? Just like that?
The last week had been hell... And unconsciously I ended up making it a hell for everyone around me too!
I focused on work... Something where I was best at... And I demanded the best from everyone!
I called Angela's parents and Leah to see if they needed anything from my side. I promised them I was going to spend the whole Saturday with them!
I was really ashamed of myself.
But yeah... I was going to correct everything!
I was trying my best to convince myself that she was nothing but a stupid fling, but apparently my mind didn't want to accept that!
I tried my best to avoid her throughout the week, but it was impossible not to think about her...
And when she tried to talk to me politely on Friday, I decided to act like an asshole!
Usually being an asshole makes things easier for me... But not this time around!
I wasn't sure how she had taken it?
Was she pissed off?
Was she mad at me?
Was she hurt?
I had no idea!
But... The problem was... I shouldn't be thinking about her!
I should be thinking about Angela!
Angela... The love of my life... The one who lost her life because of me...
I spent the whole Friday evening watching the old videos and photos of Angela.
I tried all I could to bring back all old memories, and thought about nothing but her.
It made me crazy why I had to watch these things to remind myself about these memories?
She should be the only one on my mind!
I spent the whole Saturday with her family and did everything I could to rectify my mistake.
I didn't sleep at all in the last few nights... Not at all.
I was missing her so much.
'Her' was supposed to be Angela... But I was missing Isabella, and that made me so mad!
I wanted to talk to her.
I was missing her badly.
I didn't care if that made me a pathetic person...
I didn't care if that made me a fraud who couldn't even follow his own promises...
I didn't care if I was an asshole because of whom Angela lost her life and I didn't seem to be giving a shit about it...
I didn't care about anything...
I wanted to be with Isabella, and that's it...
But I stopped myself.
No...
I needed to keep fighting with myself.
I needed to do this for Angela.
I couldn't just... move on.
She deserved better.
And probably Isabella deserved better, too... She also deserved someone who could be with her without any kind of baggage...
Yeah...
I needed to keep fighting with myself...
Just keep fighting...