Chapter 4
Bella woke up to raised voices in the kitchen. She blinked confusedly. Edward was gone. Bella creeped toward the door and cracked it open to hear more clearly.
"She needed you!" Charlie yelled. "You should have seen the look on her face when I told her that you weren't coming! That Phil's game was more important to you than your own daughter!" Bella was shocked, she had never heard Charlie raise his voice before. Never experienced him defending her.
"Oh, let off Charlie! I really don't need this right now! I have been so torn up inside ever since you called me! Of course, I wanted to be here right away! But this was the biggest game of Phil's career, we'd been anticipating it for months. I'd promised him I'd be there. I didn't feel like I could break that!" Renee shouted back defensively.
"I swear to God, Renee, sometimes you can be so unreliable!" Charlie shouted. "We agreed that we'd be there for all the big moments! Good and bad! Your daughter had the worst night of her entire life, and you weren't there!"
"How could I have been there, Charlie!?" Renee shouted back. "I'm 1500 miles away! I can't be here for everything at the drop of a hat! You're here! She chose to be with you, for God knows what reason."
"God, Renee! You don't think I know that?! You think I don't know what it's like to be the parent so far away? But she's here now because she chose to. And when I call you to tell you that our daughter is in the hospital, that she was raped! You waited 24 hours before getting on a plane! All so you could see your precious husband's game! I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that. Bella comes first, always. She has to."
Bella raced down the stairs, hurrying to break up the fight. "Mom, Dad, stop fighting!" she pleaded.
Renee burst into tears upon seeing Bella and threw her arms around her. "Oh, my baby!" she cried. "I'm so sorry! I'm here now!"
Bella melted into her mother. As hurt as she was that she didn't come right away, she was so relieved to be in her mother's arms now. She started to cry in a way she could only do in her mother's arms. Renee held and rocked Bella like she did when Bella was little girl. Charlie left the kitchen to give them some privacy and cool off.
Renee shuffled them toward the couch to sit down together. She looked over her daughter, taking in the bandage around her head and the cast on her right arm. "Oh, honey," she said, voice thick with sympathy. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Bella fidgeted. "Actually, there's something that I was waiting to do until you got here," Bella started.
"What is it?" her mother prompted.
"Um, I, uh," Bella was surprised how hard it was to form the words. Dread filled her chest. "At the hospital they wanted to do a rape kit. But I didn't want to do it without you there." Bella looked down, feeling self-conscious.
Renee sagged under the weight of the implications. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry I wasn't there. Charlie was right, I should have come right away. You needed me. I really messed up, I'm so sorry."
Bella fidgeted, uncomfortable with her mom expressing her guilt. "It's okay mom, really."
Renee smiled kindly. "It isn't. I should have been here." Bella didn't say anything. "Well, I'm here now. So, do you want to go to the hospital? I'll hold your hand the whole time, never let go."
Bella's eyes filled with tears and she nodded.
"Okay, sweetie," Renee leaned forward to kiss the top of Bella's forehead, much like Edward did yesterday, but it felt different, maternal. It felt nice.
Renee got up to inform Charlie of their new plan. Bella could tell from her spot on the couch that Charlie was surprised, but he contained himself quickly. He came over and sat next to her on the couch. "Hey sweetie, your mom told me you're going back to the hospital for the rape kit. Do you want me to come with you? I can see if Dewy can come in early to cover."
Bella shook her head. "No, it's okay," she said, touched. "I want to do this with just Mom, if that's okay." Bella hopped that she wasn't hurting Charlie's feelings by saying this. There were just some things that you didn't want your father there for.
Charlie pursed his lips and nodded. "Of course. No worries. I'll have my pager on me, so call if you need me."
Bella smiled appreciatively at her father. "I will. Thanks, Dad."
Bella got up to get ready to go to the hospital.
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Bella started slightly upon seeing Edward in her room. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he said. "I wanted to give you some privacy to see your mom, but I wanted to make sure I saw you before you left for the hospital."
Bella let herself be folded into his arms, shocked at the coldness of his embrace compared to her mother's warm embrace she had just been in. "Are you sure you don't want me to come?" he asked.
"And explain you to Renee? Or even worse, Charlie?" she asked.
"We'll have to tell them eventually about us," he said. She liked the sound of that. Us.
"Eventually," she agreed. "I'd like to see you after," she said as a compromise.
"I'll be here," he promised. "Do you have a cell phone?" he asked.
Bella shook her head.
Edward nodded. "That's what I thought. Here," he pulled his out of his pocket. "Take mine." He opened the screen and his fingers flew over the buttons for a few seconds before handing it over to her. "Speed dial one if you need me."
"I can't take this," she protested.
"I insist. I need to know that you can reach me any time if we are to ever be apart at all. And don't worry about me, my family has plenty of extra technology lying around, including cell phones. The number I just programmed in is my back-up line. And I told my family to reach me there instead of this number, so don't worry about that."
Bella tried to think of a way to protest but closed her mouth at the stern look on Edwards face. She swallowed her stubborn independence and let herself feel grateful for the gesture. It would be a relief knowing that Edward was just a button away. It made what she had to do feel slightly more bearable. "Thank you," she said finally.
Edward smiled. "You're welcome."
Bella sighed and looked around, trying to figure out what she needed to do to get ready. "How are you feeling?" Edward asked.
"Nervous," Bella answered honestly. "But I'm glad my mom's here now. And the sooner I get this over with the sooner I can shower." Bella felt absolutely disgusting.
"Do you have your clothes from that night?" Edward asked helpfully. Bella looked at him confused. "They'll probably want to take it for evidence." Bella's eyes widened. She gathered the clothes from the pile on the floor, Edward helped her find a spare shopping bag from the bookstore to put them in.
Bella took a deep breath and sighed. "Well, I guess I'll see you after."
Edward offered her a kiss on her forehead. "After. Don't hesitate to call." Bella nodded and suddenly he was gone.
Bella quickly dressed and then went downstairs to see her mom waiting for her at the kitchen table, car keys in hand. Charlie was standing awkwardly nearby.
"Ready sweetie?" Renee asked kindly. Bella nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment. Renee stood up and grabbed her purse.
"Bye Dad," Bella said awkwardly.
"Bye, Bella," Charlie said. "Call if you need me." Bella nodded.
Renee waited for Bella at the door, then guided her out with a hand on the small of her back. They climbed in to Renee's rental car. Renee turned to Bella. "Forks Hospital?" she asked.
Bella shook her head violently. No, this was too small a town to go to the local hospital, everyone would know by lunchtime. "Can we go back to the one I went to, in Port Angeles?"
Renee nodded understandingly. Bella didn't have to educate her on the ins and outs of gossip in this small town. "Sure thing," she said and started to drive.
They drove in silence the whole way, which was particularly unusual for them. Normally, car rides were filled with laughter and chit-chat, singing along to the radio. There was a seriousness in the air. Renee pulled into the parking spot and put her arm around Bella's shoulders. "You ready for this?" she asked as they eyed the E.R. entrance. Bella was as ready as she ever was going to be, so she nodded. Together they marched forward, through the sliding doors. Renee walked up to the receptionist desk who looked up at the expectantly. "My daughter is here for a rape kit," Renee said, trying not to be bowled over by the words as they left her mouth. She had to be strong for her daughter.
The receptionist nodded understandingly and pulled together some paperwork for Renee to fill out. While Renee started filling it out, Bella took a half step forward, "Um, is Dr. Evan's working?"
The receptionist glanced at her computer screen and made a few clicks. "Yes, she's on and isn't with a patient right now."
"Um, can I see her?" Bella asked tentatively.
The receptionist nodded and made a few more clicks on her computer. "Sure thing. We'll call your name when she's ready for you."
Bella went to sit in the waiting room chairs. Renee joined her after she finished filling out the paperwork and handed that to the receptionist.
Bella looked up when she heard her name called a few minutes later. "Bella, hi good to see you again."
Bella stood up. "Um, hi Dr. Evans," Bella said.
"Come on back," Dr. Evans gestured and Bella and Renee followed her into a different room than the one Bella was in last time. Bella sat where indicated. "Hi, I'm Dr. Evans," the doctor introduced herself to Renee with an outstretched hand.
Renee shook it. "Renee."
"You must be the mom?" she asked.
"Yes," Renee replied.
"So Bella, what brings you back?"
"Um, I decided that I did want to do the rape kit, if it's not too late."
Dr. Evans nodded. "We're still in the window. I can get that started. Have you taken a shower yet?" Bella shook her head. "Okay, let me go get the material I need and get my nurse to come assist me. I assume you'd like Mom to stay for support?" Bella nodded.
Dr. Evans nodded once and excused herself.
Renee stood awkwardly to the side. "Was that the doctor who treated you when you came in?" she asked Bella.
Bella nodded. "Yeah."
The level of nerves and anxiety rose in the room as the two of them waited for Dr. Evans to return. Finally, the door opened and the doctor entered with a friendly looking nurse. "Hi Bella, this is Emily, she's going to help me out today with performing your rape kit."
Emily offered Bella a kind smile and greeting.
"Were these the clothes you were wearing the night of your assault?" Dr. Evan's asked.
"Um, no, but I brought them. They're in that bag over there."
Dr. Evans nodded. "Bella, is it okay with you if I take these? They will be processed for evidence." Bella nodded, conflicted. Those had been her favorite pairs of jeans. But she was also okay never seeing them again after what happened.
"Okay, Bella, we're about to begin, are you ready?" Dr. Evans asked gently. Renee took her position by Bella's side and took Bella's good hand in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze. Bella nodded. "There are a lot of steps in a rape kit. Emily is going to describe each step before we do it. Each time, you will be asked if you consent. You can either say yes or nod your head. If there is anything at all that you don't want to do, you can simply say no or shake your head and we will skip that step. We go at your pace. If you need to take a break, just let us know. Do you understand?"
Bella's heart started to pick up with anxiety. She nodded, blinking back tears. Her mom squeezed her hand in support.
For two long hours, they went through the routine that Dr. Evans described. Emily would pull out an envelope from the kit, describe the step to Bella, wait for her to nod or shake her head, then proceed to do whatever debasing thing described. Bella was stripped, wiped, combed, swabbed, photographed all over her body. Renee never let go of Bella's hand except when necessitated by something like disrobing or they had to scrape beneath her fingernails. She squeezed her mother's hands hard the whole time she was on the hospital bed for the vaginal exam. Dr. Evan's was combing her pubic hair. Next was the vaginal swab. Tears fell silently down Bella's face, but she stayed stoic, completing each step.
"You're doing so great, sweetie," her mother said, squeezing her hand. "I'm so proud of you."
"We're almost done here, Bella," Dr. Evans offered. "Just two more steps."
10 minutes later, Dr. Evans announced that it was over.
Bella surprised herself by breaking down crying. Renee pulled Bella awkwardly into her chest, and held her while she cried. "You're okay. It's over now. Just let it out." Bella sobbed into her mom's chest, clutching on to her for dear life.
Dr. Evans and Nurse Emily silently sealed up Bella's rape kit, adhered the proper labels on it and stepped out of the room to give them some privacy.
Bella finally collected herself and pulled away from her mom. "Thanks for being here," she said. "I couldn't have done that without you."
Renee's eyes pooled her with her own unshed tears. "I'm glad I could be here for you. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."
Bella shook her head. She didn't want to hang on to that part anymore. "I forgive you, Mom. You're here now and you were here for me today. I'll never forget that."
Renee pursed her lips, still clearly racked with guilt, but graciously, she didn't say anything more on the subject.
She helped Bella off the table and handed Bella her clothes to get dressed. As Bella was wondering where to put her hospital gown, there was a gentle knock on the door. "Come in," Bella said.
Dr. Evans walked in and offered Bella a smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Um, okay, I guess," Bella said. "As well as can be expected."
"How's your head been feeling? Still sensitive to light and sounds?"
Bella thought about it. "Less today." They had sat in this bright hospital room for two hours without her even really noticing it.
"Good," Dr. Evans replied. "I think we can go ahead and remove these bandages." She proceeded to unwrap Bella's head bandages and discard them. Bella scratched her scalp appreciatively.
"Any other symptoms or issues I should be aware of?" she followed.
Bella shook her head.
Dr. Evans nodded her head. "Alright. Then you're all set. Like I told your father, your cast should be ready to come off in about eight weeks. You can either see your local doctor or come here if you like. If you have any darkening vision or intense dizziness or pass out, I want you to go straight to your local emergency room. Okay?"
"Okay," Bella promised. "Thank you, Dr. Evans."
"You're welcome. Take care." Dr. Evans excused herself and left Bella and Renee to show themselves out.
Renee threw her arm around Bella's shoulders as they walked out of the E.R. "I'm so proud of you, Bella. You were so brave in there."
"Thanks Mom," Bella said sheepishly.
They walked to the car together. "So," Renee began as they climbed into the rental. "What'll it be? Milkshakes? Donuts? Fast food?" Bella laughed. It was their tradition after particularly hard days and doctor's appointments to go out for indulgent junk food.
"Milkshakes," she answered.
"Milkshakes it is," Renee responded and started the car.