Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I make profit off of Twilight. All rights belong to it's author Stephanie Meyer
Here we go..
TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DARK THOUGHTS AND MENTION UNALIVING. IF THESE THOUGHTS HURT YOU ARE TRIGGER YOU IN ANYWAY, PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. YOU ARE SO LOVED AND SO WANTED, PLEASE SEEK HELP IF THESE TOPICS HAVE CROSSED YOUR MIND OR REACH OUT. I LOVE YOU AND AM HAPPY YOU ARE HERE!
Reviews:
AliceCullen3- I LOVE YOU! Coffee
Guest- Thank you! Coffee
Livvixxx- lol I'm so sorry for keeping you so on edge and dragging out these background chapters, but it's finally here, were back in Forks and I hope you enjoy! Coffee
Deia3-OMG so many questions, most of them I promise are answered here in this chapter as for is she dead or in a coma, that will be answered in the next chapter. It's not exactly a background chapter but it picks up from when Mare's mother hit her. So please enjoy! Coffee
Guest-WOW! Thank you so much for the kind words and compliments, it really honestly made my day and made me smile, and I can't tell you how appreciative I am. I don't have a published novel, though I do have several and I hope someday I can tell you it's going to be released into the world, but alas until then please enjoy this chapter! Coffee
Books-n-Harleys- Not a problem my friend! Please don't interrupt your life for this little old fanfic story over here, lol. OMG thank you! I make them ever year lol, I told you I'm kinda a nerd. I so wish I could tell you the roller coaster of emotions are over, but buckle up for another ride because were in for it today. I really hope your doing okay, I know you have a busy schedule so please find time for yourself in between and don't ever feel obligated to keep up with this story, it will always be here I promise! Please enjoy this chapter and have the very best week! Coffee
Ooshnish- OMG thank you! It's more like 48 since one chapter was just me complaining about the site and the other was reviews, but I'm going to take your compliment because I honestly never thought I would get this far! There was so many times when I thought I was uploading for the last time, and yet I always came back. Mainly because every month a little review from Ooshnish would pop up telling me they were patiently waiting for an upload and I couldn't help but want to upload for them. This story would be nothing without you, it would never have gone as long as it has and I can't thank you enough for that.
I know you said you're honored to be my friend but the truth is the honor is all mine!
I'm so happy you enjoyed this chapter, believe me I felt bad putting so many background chapter up, but felt like it was important to get them out and move on because it's about time we get to the actually Twilight book lol, and I promise it's coming, I've already started working on it! We just have Italy and then I'l speed everything along. Thank you always for your encouraging words and you kindness. They always help me along when I'm stuck on a stuborn part and for that I can't thank you enough! I really, really hope you like this chapter, it's a bit shorter than the last few weeks but I thought everyone has to be getting tired of all the long chapters, anyway, my friend, my coach, my biggest cheerleader, thank you so much for all you've done for me, this chapter is for you! Coffee
24michael- Yes, we're finally back in forks, haha, good or bad...well soon find out! Coffee
20- Hey you! I do have an insta, but I really just started using it, so I don't know if I'll be a fun person to follow lol. I also have snap chat and tik tok, but just message me and I'll send you my socials! If you don't no worries, I usually update everyone each month on what posting schedules are going to look like. For May I'm uploading every Sunday, and at the end of the month I'll let everyone know what June will look like! I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a little shorter than what I've been posting but I thought people would be getting tired of the 5,000 plus chapters lol! Thank you for reading and thank you for your kind words! Coffee
Gretchenia- HEY FRIEND! Sorry, I saw your comment a little too late and didn't get to respond to it, but I'm here now! First of all, I have seen that movie, I can't remember what network but I remember the title and am honored you see my character in it! Second, of course you knew! You're amazing, clever and smart, I can never get anything past you and I love it! Sarah does love Mare, she just was never given the proper tools to get better and therefor everyone around her suffered. Third, and you can consider this a future spoiler but Brookes is actually a really good guy...and not the father, Shhhhhhhhhhh. I'll make a chapter of that at some point, but for now, this is our little secret! Fourth all your questions on Edward and Carlisle should be answered soon! Fifth, I'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR COLD! I had a nasty one last week so my heart goes out to you my friend! Sixth as always you shower me with these wonderful words and as always I never feel like I'm worthy of them so thank you so much for for making me feel like and actual author *cries* I'm so happy that we have formed this beautiful friendship and look forward to your reviews every week, but as always don't feel obligated. Take care of yourself, drink tea and take medicine. Be with your family and love ones, and I'm so sorry about your father in law and am sending you all my love and prayers! Coffee
Leave Me
I'm cold, my body shaking so hard it hurts, I didn't think I had any energy left but somehow my body found the fuel too. The grass underneath me is soaked so are my clothes hair and skin, but I don't care. Maybe I'll shiver myself to death, I can only hope. I'm back in Twilight...after only just learning that my mother, the one person who was supposed to protect me and love me basically killed me. The world around me changed and now here I am, back in the book I thought I had left. I should be happy, the people here...The Cullens...it almost feels like they cared for me...maybe loved me...but I just can't be happy knowing what I know, so I laid down, right on the wet grass, in front of the Forks sign and wait...wait for death...it has to come and when I see the bright lights I think it has. Their coming from behind lighting up the welcome sign even more, I glance down to where my body casts a dark shadow, please let this be quick. I hear something slam behind me and the sound of wind,
"Mare?" A warm voice says as cold fingers press into my neck, "Mare my sweet girl can you hear me?" Carlisle? Warm tears fill my eyes, a contrast to the cold.
"Don't" I whisper so quietly only a vampire could hear it,
"Mare, my sweet, sweet girl it's okay, I'm here, I'm here honey." I feel his cold arms wiggle under my body, and I shift away,
"Leave me." I rasp out, but he does no such thing, he lifts me like I weigh nothing, and I cry out,
"No, stop, stop, I don't wanna go!" I cry just as a large bolt of lighting cracks across the sky, thunder quickly follows,
"Edward take her." Edward's here too? I feel myself being passed over and once Edward has me close to his chest I push him away. I don't want to be carried, I don't want to be spoken to like a spooked child, I want to be left alone,
"Mare, stop," Edward demands, his voice almost seems shaky,
"Please, Eddie." I cry. I feel cold lips press against my forehead and I cry harder. I don't want this love, his love. I don't want him to care for me, I don't want any of them to.
"Pass her to me son," Carlisle's voice is urgent and I feel myself being passed over again, but this time as I'm passed from one person to another, I find myself in a familiar space. The rain is no longer pelting on me and the cold is replaced with warmth, and I'm able to recognize Edwards Volvo.
"It's okay sweetheart." Carlisle's voice is reassuring, but I can't believe his words. Carlisle has tucked both of us in the back seat of the car. He cradles the upper half of my body close to his, resting my head gently against his chest. I hear the driver's side car door open and close, the car jostles a bit as Edward gets in, "The towels please." Edward grabs a stack of cream-colored towels from the driver's side and passes them back to Carlisle. He carefully wraps one around my shoulders, maneuvering the both of us to do so, then quickly wraps one around my hair,
"Stop," I mumble, feeling the weight of my tired body suddenly crash down on me,
"Shh shhh shhh, there we go sweet girl, let's get just a bit drier, it's alright." More hot tears fall down my cold cheeks and Carlisle ever so gently wipes them away, "I'm here, you're going to be just fine." He places one cold hand on my chest and I try my best to push him away, to reject his love, but he won't stop, won't let me. His cold hand instead comes to rest on my cheek as he gently forces my head to rest back on his chest,
"No," I force out,
"Shhhh, breathe with me." His chest expands and it's then I realize how fast I'm breathing, not even breathing, gasping. "Marceline breathe in," Carlisle demands a little harsher and it's only when I feel my vision blur and Carlisle's cold hand smack my cheek that I do, taking in a large breath of precious oxygen. "That's it, now out, and in. Good girl, we're going to breathe in some nice fresh oxygen together." We sit like that, the car feels so gentle and the sound of the rain hitting the top of the roof so soothing, I feel myself fully melt into Carlisle's embrace, his cold arm holding me just a little tighter...I missed this...I missed him...I missed everyone...but...I can't...I push away again my chest suddenly feeling constricted.
"It's okay sweetheart, relax," Carlisle whispers into my hair, I feel his lips kiss the top of my head too and it sends tears into my eyes,
"Please just leave me." I mummer reaching up to wipe the snot from my nose.
"We're almost there honey," Carlisle reassures, but I don't want to go anywhere, I want him to leave me...leave me to die. I feel the car turn sharply and the smooth road under us turns into gravel, the sound ingrained in my ears from every ride home from school Edwards ever given me. My body's sore and my throat's almost raw, but I find the last bit of strength to push away from Carlisle and scream. I hit the back of the driver seat when Carlisle pulls me back into his chest with one hand and restrains my wrist with the other,
"Please." I force out,
"Shhh, shhh, shhh. I've got you, I've got you baby girl and I'm not letting go," I can't stop it, I begin choking on my own silent sobs. Carlisle shushes me through them, his soft voice rocking me the whole way up the driveway, "That's my sweet girl," The car stops and the engine turns off. I hear Edward get out of the car and abruptly the door behind my head opens, the cold instantly chilling my face, I didn't realize how high Edward had the heat turned up and I squeeze my eyes against the icy air.
"I'll take her upstairs so you can grab your stuff." I feel Edwards' hands under my arms pulling me out just enough to place one arm under my shoulders and the other under my knees and just like Carlisle before him, he lifts me like I weigh nothing, the towels around my shoulders and hair fall away. Carlisle's out of the car quickly and I feel us walking. I hear the garage door open, warm air hits me and I open my eyes finding the familiar look of the Cullen home. Edward takes the stairs quickly,
"Mare!" I hear my name being shouted...Alice...I think,
"Not now," Edward tells her, and now we're going up the stairs again...to my room I think...is it even still my room,
"Oh my god," I know this voice...Esme. "Mare!" She sounds like she's sobbing, but that's impossible...vampires can't cry..can they? Edward stops and light fingers push the wet bangs from my face, my eyes are open, but everything seems a bit blurry...I must be crying again.
"Please..." I whisper I don't want to be here, it's too painful.
"Put her on the towels," Esme's voice snaps back into its usual tone, "Rose grab a pair of pajamas, and Edward get out." Rosalie is here too. Edward places me down on...I think it's my bed, towels in place of soft covers and plush pillows,
"Carlisle's grabbing a few things," Edward's voice comes out in a rush,
"We have to change her," Esme demands. I hear her shut my door and then she's back, fingers running through my damp strands, lips on my forehead, "Oh sweetheart, your back, you're in my arms and I won't let you go again."
"There wasn't a single oversized garment in her closet, I went and grabbed something of mine," Rose complains, shutting the door, I didn't even realize she was left then again the world's a blur to me.
"Thank you, Rose, please help me change her." I feel my socks being tugged off before my sweats follow and then my underwear. They're replaced quickly,
"Stop." I groan when delicate hands gently sit me up to take off my shirt and replace it with an even softer one, a towel is quickly wrapped around my hair, and a silky cloth presses into my eyes. It's gently pulled away and things are much clearer. Esme's worried face is in front of me and behind her Rose stands quickly placing a new pair of cotton socks on my feet.
"Mare, it's okay I'm here now." She places the palm of her hand gently on my cheek in a maternal gesture before moving up to rest against my forehead. I close my eyes enjoying the cooling sensation of her skin on mine, when the door opens,
"Please," I whisper when her hand is pulled away, I want it back,
"She's burning up." Esme snaps towards the door, she gently lays me back down, pulling the towels out from underneath me,
"It's alright," Carlisle reassures her, coming to sit next to me on the bed. He repeats Esme's gesture, his lips slightly pursed. He pulls away, both hands coming to push just under my jaw the pads of his fingers applying more pressure. It hurts but he's stronger and I can't pull away. His fingers push a bit harder and I can't help the pathetic whimper that comes out of my mouth,
"You're hurting her." Rosalie barks,
"She's swollen," Carlisle mumbles, before reaching towards something on the nightstand, "Mare, honey can you open your mouth?" At that moment something comes over me, a last bit of strength or maybe adrenaline, I have no idea, but I quickly sit up grabbing onto Carlisle's shirt in a vise-like grip,
"Mare?" Esme cries while Carlisle's arms grip my biceps to steady me,
"Hey, hey, hey, I'm here, it's okay. Let's lay back down, okay my sweet girl?" I shake my head, gripping even harder to the fabric of his button-up up "I'm right here, I'll help you." I swallow feeling more tears in my eyes, my sore body protesting my movements,
"She's in pain," Edward explains.
"Son?" I look up finding him standing in the doorway that separates our rooms,
"I'm sorry, I know you told me to get out, but...she's hurting." Edward looks towards Esme, She nods,
"Come in." Carefully Edward steps in,
"Mare, honey. I can give you something for the pain, but you need to let me lay you back down, okay?" I shake my head again because theirs nothing he can give me for the pain I'm in... there will never be anything to take away this pain.
"Mare, I'm right here, okay? Let me help you." Esme quickly walks around to the other side of the bed, one hand coming to rest right above where Carlisle's sits, the other fitting perfectly into the curve of my back,
"Carlisle, she's not just hurting physically," Edward admits, his eyes sadly meeting mine,
"Mare, let Edward speak for you, tell him what you need to tell me okay?" How can I?! How do I tell him the things I know now?
"Mare?" Edward steps forward, "What happened to you, show me." I turn my head finding him standing behind Carlisle, his eyes soft, "It's okay, I promise, you're safe." Safe? I'll never be safe, not with everything I know. I don't want to keep it a secret, I need to tell someone...if not I think I'll go crazy. So I show him, I start with the library when Matt gave me the Twilight book, and I show him my mother coming home in a good mood, partially sober and ready to order dinner, I don't even skip the part where she starts shoving bottles under the sink. I show him the number of drinks she had that night, and then I recount when she yelled at me, grabbed my hair, and pushed me down. Edward begins backing up when I get to the part where she wraps her bony fingers around my neck and completely cuts off my air supply. Edward always knew my mother hurt me before I came here, but not to the extent that she did. I show him how I hit her with an empty rum bottle and ran out into the night. I show him how I wondered for a bit before sitting and pulling out my cellphone and then I show him the part that I didn't know till now. How bright lights approached me at a high speed, it's at this point that Edward hits the wall and just collapses to the ground,
"Edward?" Esme's concerned voice shouts,
"Edward, what's wrong?" Carlisle asks, his eyes never leaving my face,
"Mare." Edward breathes out. He sounds exhausted as he places a hand on his head, I should stop but I keep going, there is only one last thing to show him. My mother, behind the wheel, hits me head-on and so hard that the back of my head hits the pavement in such a way that irreversible brain damage occurs and while my body is trapped in my world, I'm here.
"Edward!" Carlisle hisses, "Talk to me son." Edward swallows, taking a large breath, it's at that point that Rose quickly bends down next to him, placing one hand on his shoulder and the other on his arm as if to help him up, but he doesn't move, instead he opens his mouth,
"Her mother," His voice is shaky, "h...her mo...a car, a car hit her...that's how she's here, a car hit her head on...her mother was the one driving it."
The world falls out from under me and everything disappears.