As you can imagine, the following conversation had been extremely awkward. It took over twenty minutes for her to calm down enough to speak. I mean, I kinda understood why. She'd already thought I was deathly ill, and then I went and drank a bunch of nasty, old blood on top of that. There could have been countless diseases in that! Hell, the only reason she'd calmed down at all was the fact that I genuinely had gotten better since the event.
It didn't stop her fussing over me, but it did at least prevent her from having a heart attack. It was a little disconcerting, just how much she cared for me. Don't get me wrong, I was seriously grateful! I had literally nowhere else to go in this world, and she'd taken me in out of the goodness of her own heart. But… we'd only known each other for a matter of days. And yet she already loved me like I was her own child. It spoke of emotional instability (yes, I know, that's rich coming from me.). I guess, in a way, it felt like I was taking advantage of her. Like I was playing with her emotions just to have a place to stay.
...God, I'm an asshole.
Anyways, in the morning, she woke me up bright and early, and dragged me towards Micaela's house. Why Yuri felt the need to involve her, I didn't know. All I knew is that I was not appreciative. I was already embarrassed about the whole situation. I didn't want more people knowing about it! When I tried to communicate this to Yuri, she brushed me off. Like, she literally just ruffled my hair and told me not to worry about it.
I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't snap and call her a cunt. Because holy shit! That was so fucking insulting! I mean, I couldn't be entirely mad at her, since she didn't know I was mentally an adult, but still! I think I'd have been offended even if I was an actual child!
Micaela had seemed equally worried as Yuri upon hearing of my late-night escapade, but had calmed down somewhat after looking over me, and finding no evidence of illness. Unlike Yuri however, she wasn't satisfied with just knowing that I was okay (which, Yuri wasn't really either, but there were a lot of questions she just either didn't think about or didn't want to ask.).
"So… why did you feel the need to leave the safety of your house and drink out of a trough of blood?" The disguised seraph asked, giving me pause. That was actually a question Yuri had (mercifully) neglected to ask. This was… most unfortunate. Because, to be honest, I really didn't want to explain myself. The idea of admitting that I'd essentially lost myself to my instincts left a really bad taste in my mouth.
Still, there wasn't really much I could say, other than the truth. I doubted Micaela would just let me get away with not answering, and I was damn sure that she'd catch any attempt at a lie almost instantly. She was thousands, if not millions of years old. Only someone painfully incompetent could miss a lie from me if they'd had that level of experience. And while that woman was many things, incompetent was not one of them.
"I… I had to." I shrugged, giving her a helpless look. "I just felt the urge getting more and more painful… and eventually my body just started moving on its own."
After my words, she was silent, staring at me with a neutral expression. I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing, but I was definitely leaning towards terrible. What if she was debating whether or not to kill me right then and there? I could do literally nothing to stop her from that! Of course, that was an insane thing to worry about. Micaela certainly wouldn't murder a 5 year old because they were a little odd. Still, that was a fear that flashed through my mind in that moment. It must've been something about her gaze, I reckoned. She had an intense stare, and I wasn't entirely sure she was aware of it. Maybe it was just an interesting case of "resting bitch-face."
"...You said you felt an 'urge'. How long did you feel it before finally succumbing to your… cravings?" She asked eventually, showing the slightest hint of discomfort. Whether that was from her specific question, or the topic in general, I had no idea. Both sucked.
I winced, knowing damn well that the answer would make her ask why I hadn't told her about it when it first happened. And then that would probably lead down to even worse questions. Really, it was just a massive rabbit-hole of dogshit. The conversation had barely lasted more than ten minutes at this point, and already I wanted it to be done.
"Since… Since Yuri killed Layla." I admitted, averting my eyes from her gaze. "Something about seeing her drenched in blood… it made me crave it…"
Micaela's face was grim, though something told me she wasn't exactly surprised. Yuri, however, clearly hadn't seen that coming. She looked absolutely horrified, which was the appropriate action, I supposed (even if it did hurt a little.). It was pretty obvious to me that she was blaming herself for this, which made me feel even worse. I couldn't really do much about that however, so I simply didn't address it.
So, while both of the adults in the room were deep in thought, I set my mind to figuring out just how to get out of this situation. They probably wouldn't be that harsh on me, since they thought I was a dumb kid. But to be extra sure, I had to act like a child. Which meant I needed to give a childish response. Hmm… Maybe I could act like I was trying to avoid punishment? That could work. And I really didn't have any other good ideas, so I supposed that was what I was going with.
"I-I… I'm sorry for not telling you…" I muttered petulantly, keeping my gaze firmly locked on the ground in an attempt to appear ashamed. The fear helped sell it, I thought. "I just… didn't wanna get in trouble…"
Yuri let out a quiet sigh, and ruffled my hair. Then she pulled me into a big hug, and patted my back. I winced, feeling a little ashamed for deceiving her. But still, this was necessary. I didn't want to make her suspicious, after all.
"Alex… I wouldn't have been mad at you." She said quietly, her tone comforting. "You didn't do anything wrong. Just... in the future… Don't hide stuff like this from me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."
I grew teary-eyed for a moment. Why? Well, I wasn't entirely sure. Perhaps it was because I was continually touched by her care for me. Or perhaps it was because I felt guilty for lying? Or maybe both. I had no idea.
"Anyways, this could be a serious issue." Micaela said, interrupting my thoughts. "You seem fine, but you might've caught something from drinking that blood. If you're going to... crave it, then you're in danger of getting seriously ill somewhere down the line."
Oh yeah... that was also an issue. To be honest, I'd kind of forgotten about that. I mean, it's hard to think about other things when you were busy dealing with an upset Yuri. She was a bit of a handful, even if she meant well.
"...Does that mean another doctor visit?" I asked wearily, already knowing the answer to that question.
The slow nod from Micaela only confirmed my fears.
Once again I found myself on the observation table. Like last time, Miss Morgan was scanning my body with her magic. This time, however, she seemed much less worried. That was probably due to the fact that I wasn't showing any symptoms, of course. She'd initially been very worried when we explained to her about the... incident, but that had subsided when it became clear that I was okay.
"Hmmm... I am detecting a heightened amount of antibodies... though there doesn't seem to be any kind of illness..." She muttered eventually, cutting off the flow of magic and taking her hand away. "You're perfectly healthy. Better than I've seen you before, at least."
...Huh... neat. Guess I wasn't gonna die. Alright then.
"...So does that mean I'm immune? Should I try again just to be sure?" I asked jokingly, a small smile on my face. Nobody seemed amused, however. So, after a moment of awkward silence, I turned my gaze back to the floor.
Eventually, the doctor sighed, writing something down on a piece of paper. She'd already been told the details about what had occurred, so she mercifully didn't ask about it. However, I could tell that she was looking at me differently. Not with outright disgust, mind you, but she was definitely wary. It... hurt a little, to be honest. I hadn't even done anything to her and she was treating me like a danger.
"Quite possibly, yes." She answered finally, sounding exasperated. "Given the... admittedly strange nature of the antibodies I detected within you, it's fair to say that almost any disease you might catch would be soundly beaten. But that is not an invitation to start randomly drinking blood, young man!"
I winced at her harsh words. Did she really think I wanted to do that again? That had been... disgusting! Vile! Even just the thought of it sickened me...
Except it didn't. Really, the thought of more blood only made my throat burn with thirst yet again. And boy, was that a horrific revelation! The idea of having such an inhuman craving made me want to puke. But as much as I was revolted by my desires, I couldn't just get rid of them. It... It was instinctual. It had to be. There was no other reason I'd have such an ungodly need for the red. With its beautiful color, and rich taste...
Okay, enough of that! Even when I'm actively condemning the craving, I can't help but fantasize about it! Holy shit, I'm so beyond fucked that it's not even funny! This is... This is life-ruining!
"Fuck!" I growled morosely, slamming my fist against the table. The doctor looked at me, startled. She was about to say something, but I cut her off. "I... I fucking crave it, okay! This isn't going to be the last time! I... I need it!"
It went real quiet after I said that. You could hear a pin drop in that silence. The doctor was horrified. Micaela was horrified. Yuri... wasn't horrified, but she did look ashamed. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
"...Are you absolutely sure?" Micaela asked eventually, breaking the silence. Her face was dead serious, and I couldn't read her at all. Shakily, I nodded my head, wincing as I dreaded what her reaction might be.
There was more silence afterwards, and I could tell that Micaela was thinking. What it was about, I had no idea. But the fact that she hadn't killed me yet was probably a good sign... Right?
"...Tell no one of this." Micaela said to the doctor suddenly, the harshness in her tone catching everyone off-guard. "This could cause issues if it gets out. Can I count on your silence, doctor?"
Slowly, she nodded, the older elf's face grim. Looking back at me, she gave me a look that was somewhere between apprehension and pity. It kind of hurt, to be honest. I didn't like the fear in her eyes. It made me feel guilty.
"Alex. You are not to tell anyone of this either. Do you understand me?" The disguised seraph asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded at her, which seemed to be satisfactory.
After that, Yuri quickly took me back home. We walked in silence. Every now and then, I would catch her giving me a nervous glance. What she was nervous about, I couldn't tell. She certainly wasn't afraid of me, so that was something. Of course, if she was afraid of me, I think I'd have to respect her a little less.
It was only after we were inside that she finally showed any real emotion. Her face twisted into an expression of worry, filled with a curious mix of nervousness and... regret? Perhaps even shame?
"Alex... Did I... cause this? When I walked in all bloody?" She asked, her voice shaky. "D-Do you know?"
That... was not what I was expecting her to ask. And quite frankly, I wasn't sure how to respond. Because I just didn't know. I hadn't put much thought into it, if any. I mean, it felt instinctual, so I didn't think she caused it, per se. Her actions probably didn't help, however.
"I... would not say you're the sole cause." I said eventually, my tone neutral. "But... I do think that you awoke it, at least..."
She was quiet for a moment, her expression unchanging. I could tell that the answer wasn't what she wanted to hear, but there wasn't much I could do about that. I wasn't gonna lie to her about this. There was no reason to. In fact, lying might actually hurt me in the long run here, though at that moment I couldn't imagine in what way.
"Well... I want you to know that I'm sorry for that. But if you're going to have these urges... you need to know how to sate them." She said eventually, piquing my interest. "I'm going to teach you how to hunt. And... perhaps how to fight as well."
...Now that certainly sounded interesting! And necessary, most likely. This world was not a kind one. I did need to learn how to defend myself. As the only man in a monster village, I was prime meat. Most residents of Enrika weren't looking at me like that right now, but in ten years time? I'd be fucked. Literally.
"...Alright. When do we start?" I asked, feeling myself grin somewhat in excitement. The thought of spending time with Yuri left me feeling warm inside. In a platonic way, of course. She was basically my mother at this point.
And boy, was that a weird thought! I really shouldn't be getting this attached to her already. Damned child instincts. Making me latch on to the first nice lady I met.
Eh, whatever. I didn't mind as much as I probably should've. It was comforting. And in this world, I needed all the comfort I could get.
"Hm... I guess right now, if you're willing." She said, the barest hint of a smile on her face. Just seeing that was enough for me to feel happy as well. Excitedly, I nodded, feeling at that moment like I was ready for anything.
Boy, was that arrogant.
With an exasperated cry of exhaustion and pain, I faceplanted into the grass, heaving in great big gulps of air. Sweat poured down my body, and I felt like I was in a furnace. The cool spring air did little to chill my overheating flesh, only serving as a minor comfort at best. My muscles burned with that special kind of pain that could only come from working yourself to the absolute limit and beyond. It was dull and sore, but face-meltingly SWELTERING. It was as if my blood was boiling. Not in the pain sense, so much as the general, inescapable heat.
To put it plainly, it sucked. Immensely.
"Hm... I think that's enough for today. You did good, Alex." Yuri said behind me, her words making my heart soar with happiness. It felt good when she was proud of me. In a visceral, instinctual way. Was this what it was like for all five-year-olds? Being emotionally-dependent attention-whores? God, I'm glad I have the benefit of experience this time around! This would be way harder if I didn't have adult memories!
It had been about a month and a half since I'd started living with Yuri. Since deciding on training me, Yuri had me exercising every day. She'd wanted to increase my physical conditioning before trying to teach me any actual fighting skills. And honestly, I was improving fast. Like, far faster than what should be normal, especially for a child. Micaela said it was because I had some latent monster blood, which I really didn't want to question. I mean, I already knew I was a filthy bodysnatcher. I didn't want to learn more about the life I'd stolen! It'd just hurt me!
Anyways, if I had to guess, I'd say I was already about as strong as the average human adult. Which, in this world, wasn't really that impressive. But still, for a five-year old, that was incredible progress! If I kept that level of growth into adulthood, I'd be a monster. Not literally of course, but you get what I mean.
However, with that strength came certain drawbacks. In particular, my cravings had become more common. Thankfully however, since Yuri knew about them, she helped me sate them. About once a week, she'd take me out into the woods, and try and teach me how to hunt. She let me drink the blood of whatever we managed to kill, be it rabbit, deer, or any other kind of animal. It was disgusting, but it kept me sane. Well, sane as one can be when doing something so abhorrent.
Honestly, the worst part about it was that it tasted good. Every time that coppery liquid hit my tongue, my body was lit afire with a powerful, tingling sensation. It was almost orgasmic, in a weird way. The only thing keeping me grounded was the knowledge that it was blood I was drinking. And even then, it was getting harder and harder to hate. I mean, how could you hate something that felt amazing, and didn't even hurt you?
To put it plainly, I was starting to get used to it. And that was a terrifying prospect.
I tried not to think about it too much. Because honestly, what the fuck could I even do about it? There was no point worrying, since I had no solution. Maybe that was an unhealthy way of coping, but oh well. I'd like to see anyone else do better.
"I think we'll be able to move on soon." Yuri said, snapping me out of my inner monologue. There was a hint of pride in her voice that caused my face to break out into a grin. "You're just about ready to learn the basics of combat."
Her words were exciting. I was really looking forward to learning how to fight. And could you blame me? This world was incredibly dangerous. The quicker I learned how to defend myself, the better. I didn't want to become a monster's fucktoy, or worse, their dinner. Getting stronger, both in a general physical sense, as well as a combat sense, was top priority.
"Sounds fun. We gonna spar with sticks or something?" I asked, slowly getting onto my knees. I tried to stand, but found I was a bit too exhausted for that right then. "Or does that come later?"
Yuri chuckled, seemingly amused by my eagerness. Offering me a hand, I allowed her to pull me up to my feet. My legs were shaky, but after leaning against her for a moment, I was once again able to stand on my own.
"That'll be a bit down the road, I'm afraid." She said, offering me an apologetic smile. "You wouldn't learn much from a spar until you've gotten basic forms down."
I nodded, feeling just a tad bit disappointed for some reason. Not sure why I was so eager to get beaten down by a woman who was more than twice my height. Was I a masochist? I certainly hoped not. That'd be a bad weakness to have in this world.
After talking a little more about her current plans for my training regime, we both headed for our normal bathing spot at the river. Yuri wasn't exactly out of breath, but she'd been doing some exercise of her own, just to keep herself fit. So she was a bit sweaty and gross.
In contrast, I was a hundred times worse-off. I was soaked in sweat, to the point where it looked almost like someone had poured a bucket of water over me. I stank to high hell, as well. Yuri didn't seem to mind (or if she did, she didn't say anything.), but I certainly did! I couldn't allow myself to walk around smelling like that. So, some scrubbing down was necessary.
I still hadn't gotten used to seeing my reflection. It no longer hurt as much as before, but I still got teary-eyed if I stared too long. Yuri noticed my discomfort, and had on several occasions asked me what was wrong. I always blew her off, however. There just wasn't much I could tell her. Not without giving away some things I really didn't want to. So she just had to be satisfied when I told her I was fine. She wasn't, of course. But there was fuck all she could do about that, so whatever.
Our bathing ritual was very simple. We both bathed at the same time, with our backs to each other. Yuri didn't understand what the issue was with me seeing her naked, but she didn't force the issue. She respected my wishes for modesty as well, and I was very grateful for that. Honestly, for a monster, that was huge. I'd really lucked out by getting her as an adoptive mother.
I still didn't call her mom, by the way. Even if I was in a child's body, I was a grown-ass man. A man who'd already lived a life previous to this. As far as I was concerned, I'd only ever have one mother. Yuri was... more like a caring older sister. At least, that's how she felt to me. She acted motherly, don't get me wrong, but she just didn't give off that vibe.
Speaking of giving off vibes, there were times that I worried about her. Sometimes she'd get a really faraway look, and ball her fists really tight. Or if one of the monsters in the village accidentally got a bit too close to me, she'd glare bloody murder. Hell, once an elf accidentally bumped into me, and Yuri actually threatened to disembowel her. She'd gotten a stern talking-to from Micaela for that one, but she didn't seem all that apologetic.
I'd have been scared, if her expression didn't melt every time she looked at me. I could tell she loved me. It was kind of strange, thinking about it. We'd only known each other for a short period of time. And yet she already loved me like her own son. Perhaps some would find that creepy, but I thought it was endearing. She loved me, and I think I loved her too. In a platonic, familial sense, of course. There was no possible way I was catching feelings for my caretaker. That would be incredibly weird and awkward. Also, I was five. Six at most. I didn't want to tangle with those kinds of feelings until I was an adult (though preferably, I hoped to not deal with them at all.).
Anyways, my point was that Yuri had issues. That was obvious, of course. I think we all figured that out after the... incident with Layla. But it was obvious just being around her in her daily life, as well. I was tempted to talk to Micaela about it, but chances are, she'd either blow me off because I was just a kid, or make it into an even bigger issue than I thought it was.
Moving on from that little tangent, we finished bathing quickly, and put on clean clothes. We'd been training all day, and it was just starting to get dark. Personally, I was dead tired. My plans for the rest of the day involved nothing but getting into bed and falling unconscious. I just didn't have the energy to do anything else.
And as soon as I got home, that's exactly what I did. I faceplanted into my bed, snatched the blanket over myself, and was asleep within minutes.
For a while, Yuri stood in the doorway, looking over Alex's sleeping form. When she was certain that her boy was firmly in dreamland, she shut the door quietly, doing her best not to upset his slumber.
Sighing, she lowered herself down, sitting against the wall, with her head in her hands. She wasn't about to cry, or anything like that. Actually, she was rather happy with her son's progress as of late. He'd come far for a boy his age, farther than anyone could reasonably expect. If his strength kept growing at this rate, he'd be a force of nature by the time he was an adult. One of the most powerful people on the continent, for sure.
But... she didn't know what to do next. She wasn't blind to Alex's problems, nor was she bothered with his need for blood. However, it did cause her some concern for his future. Most people would condemn him for such a thing. And she wouldn't always be around to protect him. Even if he was careful about sating his desires, mistakes still happened. He needed to be prepared for that eventuality.
He needed to know how to kill.
It was a thought that would've sickened a normal person. And it was disturbing to Yuri in a small way, that her boy should have to learn such things. In a perfect would, she wouldn't even have to teach him how to fight. She'd just protect him forever. Alas, such a thing wasn't possible. The world was cruel, and she wouldn't always be around to protect him.
On the aspects of killing, she'd teach him well. Everything he needed to know. How to hack, slash, cut, and stab. How to ruthlessly cut down an opponent. It was something Yuri was quite familiar with.
She just hoped that he wouldn't develop a taste for it like she did.
Shaking her head, Yuri let out another shaky sigh, thinking about what she might have to do. He'd have to be blooded. Maybe not for a few months, but relatively soon. Hopefully before he turned seven. She'd have to have him kill someone.
The thought of that was sickening to her. Not because of the idea of someone dying, of course. But forcing an innocent child to do such a thing... it was shameful. Yuri's own mother would have condemned her for it.
But then again, her parents had always been so soft. And they'd died for it.
Shaking her head, Yuri snapped herself out of her thoughts. She didn't want to think about her family right now. It was a bad rabbit hole to go down.
Remembering the fates of her parents did serve to strengthen her resolve, however. Alex needed to be strong. And if that meant forcing him to kill, then so be it. Even if he hated her for it, it was fine. Because at least it meant he'd be strong enough to persevere through whatever the world threw at him.
Mentally speaking, of course. She'd still have to train his physical body for a long time. But the mind was just as important as the body. What would be the point of teaching him how to kill his opponent if he wasn't willing to do so when needed? That was why she had to do this. She had to make sure he would not hesitate.
She felt horrible just thinking about it. And yet, Yuri knew with complete certainty that she'd do it anyways. After all, she knew that Alex wouldn't break because of it. He was a strong boy. The way he carried himself proved it. He walked, spoke, and looked at things with a sort of confidence that was far beyond his years. He acted much more like a man than a child. It was bizarre seeing such a phenomenon in one so young. In fact, Yuri supposed that it should worry her.
And yet, it didn't. If anything, it just proved to her that her son was a very special boy. He had so much potential. His monster blood opened doors for him that would have been closed off for normal humans. It would allow him strength that far exceeded his peers, as well as a potential affinity for magic. He could become one of the greatest human fighters of the generation, able to protect himself from anything the world threw at him.
He had to be. She couldn't stand the thought of some monster having their way with him. It was revolting to even think of. That those hussies would dare lay a hand on her son! Even in the village, she knew that he was wanted. Oh, they pretended they weren't interested, but she knew better. Her boy was special. No doubt anyone he got with (not that there'd be anyone worthy of such a thing) would be blessed with very powerful children. Even if some of the monsters in town really weren't interested in him then, they would be later. When he grew into a man, he'd be like a prime cut of meat. They'd try their hardest to sink their claws into him!
So this was necessary. Alex had to learn how to defend himself. He had to know how to kill whatever threat came his way.
"Yes..." She nodded to herself, now resolute in her decision. "This... this must be done."
A/N: You could've read this early! Check my profile for details!