Chapter 18:
The False God

Iwas dreaming.

In the dream, I was soaring through the blue sky. I could barely make out anything with my eyes, and my mind felt sluggish. Yet, I could tell that I was flying.

I didn't have the slightest clue as to how this happened, but my instincts overrode my confusion. If I was flying, that meant I could fall out of the sky. I couldn't take any chances, even if I didn't know how far I was from the ground.

So, I pulled my thoughts together and tried to focus. I looked at the blur of scenery below me, and tried to find some place where I could land. My instincts were screaming at me, so I put everything I had into looking for a place where I wouldn't instantly die if I landed.

But, I was going way too fast to be able to see anything clearly. I tried another way—focusing mana into my eyes. And then, just for a moment, it was like I had instantly slowed down.

Shit. I'm going to fall!

I began to panic as I was now able to see exactly below me. I was flying way above a bottomless ocean. Then, it passed. A mountain… a forest… I needed to find a field, some flat ground.

Reddish-brownish earth came into my vision. This is going to have to be good enough… I forced myself down with as much mana as I could, and I plunged towards the ground.

Immediately after that, I lost consciousness.

When I came to, I found myself in a familiar space. It was a pure white void, one I had seen in recurring dreams starting a few years ago. It didn't feel real, something like a lucid dream. Despite that, I could feel that my body was… heavy. Like it was being weighed down by something.

"…Eh?"

I looked down and my eyes widened in shock. I was… my old self. The body I had spent thirty-four years in.

The mere sight of my body with its unkempt hair and crude outline was enough to make terrible memories rush through my head. I was the same bitter, neglected, and selfish piece of shit that I'd always been. The ten years I had spent frolicking around as Lumina instantly darkened in my head. They were like a childish dream.

A… dream, huh?

At least that meant that the vile things I had said to Zenith weren't real. I didn't want to contend with what I had done. I was back to my old, pathetic self again. It was all…done with.

What a sick joke.

The memories I had as Lumina were beginning to fade away as I tried desperately to keep them intact.

Did I really delude myself into thinking a worthless woman like me deserved something like a second chance? I really must be pitiful, then…

A weirdo appeared in front of me. The guy in question had a white, formless face. Yet, I could see that he had a large, wide grin. I instinctively covered up my body. You're kidding yourself. No one would want to see that body anyways. I dropped my hands.

The guy in front of me was weird. I couldn't make out his face. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't form a picture of his face in my mind. It was like he was being censored.

"Hello there, Lumina! It's nice to meet you!"

The guy spoke. Actually, the voice was quite ambiguous. I decided to give myself some piece of mind and think of the guy as a girl.

"Hey! Did ya hear me?" She said.

Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Hey there, missie.

"Missie? That's the first time anyone's ever called me that."

Well, I didn't even speak out loud. Looks like I've got a mind reader on my hands. It's less of a bother to talk like this than to hear my voice, so why not.

"You sure accepted that quickly."

Why wouldn't I? Anyways, who and what are you, exactly?

"Can't you see for yourself? You're an observant woman, aren't you?"

It's like I'm watching a porno, you're all… pixelated.

"So there's something like me in your world, too?"

I wouldn't say that…

"Well, back to the point. I go by many names—"

Cut the shit. Are you going to send me to the afterlife or what?

"Huh? What afterlife?"

I see. Christianity would love to have a talk with you.

"You sure are interesting to talk to. To answer your earlier question, I am a god. The Man-God, specifically."

Interesting. Guess you're a male, then.

"You know, you could express a little more emotion. You don't look all that impressed."

Well, you don't look to be very busy if you're wasting time talking to me. Plus, in a typical storyline, you're supposed to show up at the beginning of the story. And maybe be a gorgeous lady with robes. It's what brings in the money, ya know.

"Whatever do you mean, Lumina?"

It's nothing. Do go on ahead, Mister Man-God.

"Alright. I've been keeping an eye on you for quite a while. You and your family have been leading quite interesting lives! Especially that little brother of yours…"

What does Sirius have to do with this?

"Forget it, sweetcheeks. It's quite a joy to look into your life. That's why I decided to take care of you a little."

Take care of me? As much as it flatters me for a god to be looking out for me, I really don't appreciate the voyeurism, thank you very much.

"It's not like that, Lumina. I'm on your side here, believe me!"

On my side? I don't even know you! You're acting like those are supposed to be reassuring words, but you're just shady. Look at you! I can't even see your damn face, for crying out loud. You aren't putting me at ease with your words, mister.

"You sure are crude for a lady. Well, it's fine. How about I give you some advice for now?"

Advice? So that's how you're trying to play this, huh? Be for real with me, Mister Man-God. What are your intentions? What good is your advice going to do now? It's not like believing in the fucking power of positivity is going to do anything.

In fact, why would you even let me dream? Another world my ass! I thought I had a second chance to do it over, and you just cut the power before my life could even really get started? Do you get off by watching women suffer? Sadist!

"Calm down a little. I think you're misunderstanding what's going on. I want to help you with your current life, not your old one. I don't even know what happened to you back in your old world, and frankly you're making me not want to."

Eh? Then why am I back in this body?

"It's your astral form. It's not your actual body."

So… this is the dream, and my life as Lumina isn't?

"Right! Your body is perfectly healthy right now, by the way."

Oh, thank god. but that means that…

"Means what? Aren't you happy to be alive?"

Of course I am, but I really fucked up right before this happened. You aren't going to send me back to my world or anything, right?

"Obviously not. I couldn't send you anywhere outside the Six-Sided World even if I wanted to. And besides, I wouldn't want to cut off this source of entertainment."

So… if you can't send me back, does that mean you aren't the one who reincarnated me here?

"Nope! I don't really do reincarnation. That would be a certain evil Dragon God's department."

Evil Dragon God? Looks like there's more to this world than I thought.

"Right. That aside, would you like my advice or not, hun?"

I'm going to have to pass on that one, Mister.
"Huh? Why not!?"

You're… shady. I don't need to explain myself any more than that.

"Don't be like that! I'm not even asking you to follow my advice!"

Right. Then what's the point of even telling me? You're just interfering. I don't know what you're planning, Mister Man-God, but I'm not going to fall for it.

"Could you cut me some slack? You're being really stubborn for no reason."

Oh, I have my reasons.

"What reason would you have not to trust me? As you said before, this is the first time we've met!"

You just spelled it out for yourself, Mister.

"C'mon! Just trust me!"

You sure whine a lot. Are you sure you're actually a god? Didn't take anyone's place or something?

His face darkened at that.

Don't take it personally! You just… look like a really pitiful guy. What, do you really gain followers by yelling at them to trust you when they're dreaming?

"Well, usually they listen to me…" The Man-God grumbled

Isn't that great. Why don't you go talk to someone else now? Shoo, shoo.

"Don't you understand? I'm a god from this world! Imagine how much you could benefit from having a literal god be on your side here!"

Right. But those are just words. If you want me to actually believe you're a god, turn water into wine or something. A miracle.

"You can get wine easily enough! And doesn't this count as a miracle? This counts as a divine oracle, you know. What, did people talk to you in your dreams back in your old world?"

Divine oracle? I'm not hearing any prophecy coming out of your mouth. Also, no.

"The way you're going, you'll need a lot more than a prophecy if you don't want to die. That's where my advice comes in!"

…Die?

"That's right! The Demon Continent is very very harsh. I doubt a dainty girl like you would be able to survive without suitable help. For one thing, the monsters in the Central Continent are nothing in comparison to the creatures that dwell there. Also, you can't speak the Demon God language. You gave up learning that, didn't you? Looks like it came back to haunt you."

Demon Continent? Like, the giant continent on the other side of the eastern ocean? Why the hell would I be there?

"You got caught up in a huge mana calamity. Don't ask me how it happened, I don't have a clue. Because of that, you got teleported halfway across the world."

Calamity? Was that the light I saw just before passing out?
"Yep!"

Hm… so it was a teleportation spell gone wrong…

Wait, I definitely wasn't the only one who got hit by that thing! What about my family? Phi? Everyone else in Roa?

You're the god here, aren't you? Throw me a bone or something!

"Oh, so now I'm the god. Besides, would you really believe me? What happened to that stubborn attitude from sixty seconds ago?"

I mean… That doesn't matter right now.

"All I'm going to say is that they are all worried about you. Even that elf girl. They all want you to be safe."
I… of course…

"Hmm… you have a real troubled look on your face right about now. You sure there isn't a part of you that thinks that they would've been better off without you?"

…Back in my old world, my parents could give less of a shit if I was alive or dead. They never loved me.

"That's too bad, sweetie. But you're in the here and now. Your family cares about you quite dearly, you know? Even your mother."

R-really?

"Mhm. So if you ever want to apologize to her, you better make it back to her in one piece. If you follow my advice, you'll have a much easier time."

I… fine. Have at it.

"Wonderful! Looks like you came around."

Hurry up before I change my mind.

"Yes, I get it. Now listen carefully, Lumina. Soon after you wake up, there will be a man nearby. Trust in him."

That's it?

"Only half of it. Once you visit the nearest village, head to the city of Rikarisu. There, look around for the boy you danced with during your tenth birthday celebration. He'll be in a pickle, so help him out."

He said those words, and they echoed around the white void. Then, the pixilated god disappeared.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! The long journey starts next chapter!