Chapter 9: Can't Help Falling in Love…
Josh did not feel the need to post his open ranger position. Cody was the perfect fit for the position, Cody could also fly the chopper that would help alleviate Jessica's hours. Cody and Josh work very well together. Josh named Cody as second in command under him. The administrative position was going to take a bit longer. Jennifer and Cody decided that they would get married before Cody started full time with the rangers. He wanted to take a week off to spend with just him and Jennifer to have a honeymoon. Josh was happy to stay in the second in command's cottage since he was well settled in it. That left the Commander's cottage open for Cody and Jennifer.
Jennifer and Cody planned a quick simple wedding in the meadow just outside the ranger station. Josh got a license to perform weddings over the internet. Maddox came down from the mountains to give Jennifer away. Alex was the best man and Hailey was the maid of honor. It was a small wedding, in attendance were the Rangers, Hawkes family, Avila family, Flower Family, Alex's Girlfriend, and Maddox.
A recording of Cannon and D was played while Hailey walked down the aisle first, followed by Maddox escorting Jennifer down the aisle. Jennifer was dressed in a simple white sun dress. She was beaming as she was so happy. She was carrying a bouquet mixture of wild flowers. When they got to the end of the aisle Jennifer gave Hailey the flowers. Maddox gave Jennifer a hug and a kiss on her cheek. Maddox then gave her hand to Cody. Jennifer and Cody held hands and faced each other.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered together to witness the marriage of Jennifer and Cody into holy matrimony." Josh announced. "Jennifer and Cody will be giving their own vows."
"Jennifer, when we first met, we were kids, you were twelve and I was sixteen. You almost became my sister. I have to say, I am glad you did not. Few years later my family left the mountains and moved to San Francisco. I did not see you again until Matt's wedding. I did not recognize you at first. You had grown up into a beautiful young lady, we had our first dance at Matt and Robins wedding. I would have kissed you, but you were sixteen. My dad and your grandfather would not have been too happy with me. We learned much later that your grandfather saw something between us that night he did not like and put me on his list. I did not see you again until a little over a year ago. You had a gun pointed at my head. Things definitely did not start out on the right foot. Once I had a bit of understanding on your life. I fell in love with you. You filled a hole I had in my heart. You have made me a better person, a better father. I can't imagine my life without you and Hailey. We had an unorthodox courtship, but it works. Jennifer, I am so happy you took a chance on me when I asked you to marry me. Jennifer, I love you and can't wait to be your husband."
Jennifer had tears coming down her cheeks, "I am wondering why I did not go first." Jennifer and Cody smiled at each other. He squeezed her hands. "You always know what I need, I love you so much."
"Jennifer, I love you too."
Jennifer took a deep breath, "Cody, you have saved me in more ways than you will ever know. You took me and my daughter in when I was at my lowest points. Not once, but twice. You have made me feel safe when I am with you. You and Alex welcomed us into your home and into your family. Cody, you taught me how to love again. Something I did not think I would ever do again. I love you so much and I don't want to live my life without you. I can't wait for the four of us to really and truly be a family. Cody I can't wait to be your wife."
Cody leaned over to her and whispered, "you did it, I love you."
"I love you too."
"Jennifer, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, devotion and faithfulness to you, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death do us part." Cody places the ring on Jennifer's finger.
"Cody, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, devotion and faithfulness to you, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death do us part." Jennifer places the ring on Cody's finger.
Josh stated, "By the power invested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Cody you may kiss your bride."
"My pleasure," Cody took Jennifer in his arm and dipped her as he gave her a passionate kiss.
Josh announced, "It is my pleasure to introduce for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Cody Hawkes."
Everyone just cheered for them. The reception started right away. Cody and Jennifer went around and greeted their guests. It did not take long as there was a small handful.
"When I saw the two of you at Thanksgiving, I knew something was going to happen between the two of you. I never get it wrong," Frank said.
"Now, now honey. Can't say you never get it wrong," Priya said.
"When have I been wrong? I guessed Robin and Matt, Izzy and Jerry. You and I my love." Priya just gave Frank a teasing punch on his arm.
"So Frank, when did you know Jerry and I were to get married?" Izzy asked.
"As soon as she said she liked your coffee," Frank said.
"Izzy, how are things in Idaho?" Cody asked.
"Everything at the farm is great. I am so glad we made the move back home," Izzy said. "I loved being a ranger, but nothing is better than working the land."
"How are the kids?" Frank asked.
"All grown up and out of the house. Little Ricky has two kids of his own. He is working on taking over the farm when I retire, which will be soon. Jerry wants to travel the world." Izzy said.
Over to Alex, Christy and Hailey. "Grandma and Grandpa, I want you introduce you to my girlfriend Christy and my new sister Hailey," Alex said as he hugged his grandparents. "Christy and Hailey, this is my mom's parents' Mr. & Mrs. Donavan."
"Nice to meet you Mr. & Mrs. Donavan," Christy said.
"Nice to meet you as well Christy," Mrs. Donavan said.
"Sorry, Grandma. We need to take care of something quickly. We will be right back," Alex and Christy ran off leaving Hailey with the Donavan's.
"Hailey, sweetie. I am glad we are alone. I have a gift for you," Mrs. Donavon said.
"You do, for me?" Hailey asked.
"Yes. I hope I am not being too forward. I was hoping to talk to your mother first, but I wanted to give you something to welcome you to the family," Mrs. Donavon handed Hailey a small little box. "This is something I have given all my granddaughters."
Hailey opened the box. "It is beautiful." It is a silver necklace with Hailey's birthstone. She immediately went and hugged Mrs. Donavan. "I love it. Thank you, Mrs. Donavan."
"If you like, you can call us Grandpa and Grandma," Mrs. Donavan said.
"I would like that a lot. I have never had grandparents before. It has always just been mom and I." Hailey said. She hugged Mrs. Donavan. "Thank you, Grandma,". Then she hugged Mr. Donavan. "Thank you, Grandpa."
"Let me help you put that on," Mr. Donavan said. He helped Hailey put the necklace on.
Jennifer noticed Hailey talking to people she did not know. She was getting a bit nervous "Cody, who is that talking to Hailey?"
Cody looked over, "That is Lizzie's parents. Let me introduce you." Jennifer was a bit nervous. Cody grabbed her hand and led her over.
"Mom, Dad. I see you have met Hailey," Cody said.
"We have, she so beautiful and sweet," Mrs. Donavan said.
"I would like to introduce you to Jennifer. Jennifer, this is Lizzie's parents, Ron and Janet Donavan," Cody said.
"We are so happy to finally meet you. Cody told us about you and Hailey staying with him and Alex. When he told us you were getting married, we could not be more thrilled for the two of you. We have so wanted Cody to find someone again. I hope you will feel as much of a part of our family that Cody and Alex are." Mr. Donavan said.
"I hope I was not being too forward. I wanted to give Hailey the same necklace we have given to all our Granddaughters. We like to think of her as being one of them," Mrs. Donavan paused for a moment. "I hope you don't mind, I told Hailey she could call us Grandpa and Grandma. We would like you both to be a part of our family. We hope you all continue to visit us like Alex and Cody do."
"I never had much of a family growing up. It was just my parents and my grandpa. Are you sure?" Jennifer asked.
"We know Lizzie would want it this way. We love Cody as if he were our son and Alex of course as a Grandson. We love you and Hailey to join our family as well," Mrs. Donavan said.
Jennifer hugged them both and had tears of joy streaming down her face.
The DJ made an announcement. "If we could have Mr. and Mrs. Cody Hawkes come out to the dance floor. It is time for their first dance. My understanding they had their first dance in a tent like this one. Maybe thirty something years ago, here is that song again. Cody and Jennifer took to the dance floor and started dancing to the Elvis Presley song "Can't Help Falling in Love", just like they did at Matt and Robins wedding.
Then was time for father/daughter and mother/son dance. Cody danced with Hailey and Jennifer danced with Alex.
"Cody, are you now my dad?" Hailey asked Cody.
"Yes, I am," Cody answered.
"I love you daddy," Hailey said with a big smile on her face.
"I am so honored to be your father. I have the most beautiful daughter. Hailey, I love you too."
Jennifer and Alex are dancing as well.
"Is Christy having a good time?" Jennifer asked.
"She is having a very nice time and was happy to be invited," Alex responded. "Jen, what do I call you now?"
"I will leave it up to you. You can keep calling me Jen or Jennifer if you want, it is okay. Just don't call me Evil Step Mom." Jennifer smiled at Alex and they both chuckled a little. "Seriously, I am okay with anything you are comfortable with."
"Thanks, Jen. I lost my mom when I was five. I don't really remember her and I don't know what it is like to have a mom. But since you and Hailey moved in with us, I think I know now what it is like to have a mom. I love you mom," Alex said. Jennifer gave Alex a big hug.
"Alex, I love you too."
Everyone was having a wonderful time at the reception. Someone started clinking the glasses Cody just looked at them he went over to Jennifer gave her a big kiss.
"I want to thank you all for coming here and celebrating this special day for Jennifer and I. But there is one more thing we are celebrating today. Hailey and Alex, do you want to come over here," Hailey and Alex came over to Cody and Jennifer. "We are also celebrating there is one more new Hawkes family member. I would like to introduce you to my daughter, Hailey Elizabeth Hawkes."
Hailey was shocked, her eyes went big, and mouth was wide open. Alex pulled out the frame piece of paper with Hailey's name change on it. Alex handed it over to Hailey. Hailey was jumping up and down and hugged Alex and Cody. Jennifer looked on smiling. Since Cody was listed as Hailey's father on the birth certificate, he was able to get her name changed. Jennifer had used an alias on the birth certificate so legally she was not able to make the request. They still need to legally get Hailey's birth certificate updated, but this was a good first step.
When it was time for Jennifer and Cody to leave, they said their goodbyes to everyone and headed up to the cabin. They were going to spend a week alone, just the two of them at the cabin. Alex and Hailey would stay with Matt and Robin before they all moved into the Commanders cottage.
"Jennifer, I love you very much," Cody said as he was driving the truck up the old fire road to his cabin.
"Cody, I love you too," Jennifer said. She spent a good portion of the drive up to the cabin looking out the window and being pretty quiet.
"Jennifer, what is wrong? You seem a bit distant," Cody said with a bit of concern.
"I guess I am a bit nervous about what comes next," Jennifer just looked at Cody.
"Jennifer, please don't worry about it. We can just lay next to each other. Everything else will just happen when you are ready. Don't even think about it tonight. I want this day to stay special for you."
"Cody, you are the sweetest most caring man I know. I love you more than you will know."
Cody and Jennifer make their way to the cabin. They get to the cabin door. Cody opens the door and sweeps Jennifer off her feet. He carries her over the threshold. Once inside he sets her down and they began to kiss.
"I hate to leave you so fast, but I need to get the horses settled," Cody said as he kissed Jennifer some more. "Hey, why don't you come give me a hand."
"Okay,"
Jennifer and Cody changed into some other clothes and headed out to the horse trailer. When Jennifer walked up, she noticed there was an extra horse.
"Where did he come from?" Jennifer asked.
"This is Pepper, your new horse," Cody gave Jennifer a wedding gift.
"Mine really. Cody, he is beautiful."
"We need to work with the horse, so you can build a relationship with him," Cody said.
"How do we do it?"
The horse was a good distraction for Jennifer. She was quite nervous about being intimate with Cody as she did not want to disappoint him. This gave her something else to focus her mind on.
"Maybe in couple of days we can take a trip into the mountains and camp under the stars."
"That sounds great Cody."
"I was thinking when we get settled, maybe we should get Hailey a horse."
"Cody that is a great idea, she would love it. "
Jennifer and the horse bonded quickly and her and Cody planned to take an overnight horse-riding trip. They packed up sleeping bags and some food for the night. They went to some of Cody's favorite places. He was trying to get Jennifer more comfortable with him. They had a wonderful time sitting and talking around the fire. They would sleep close to each other, but she did not worry about being intimate. She could just relax.
When they returned from their trip. Jennifer came in early to get cleaned up, when she got dressed, she put on her normal clothes and then got something ready for dinner. Then Cody came inside, he joined Jennifer for a quick dinner. "Did you enjoy our camp out."
"Cody, I did very much. It reminded me of our camping trips we took when we were kids, maybe little more PG13 than our trips back then."
Cody laughed a bit. "Yeah, we definitely had G rated trips than, but moving to R rating now."
Jennifer smiled at Cody "Three more days. I wish we could stay longer."
"You're not sick of me yet?" Cody asked as he reached out his hands to Jennifer. Their fingers intertwined with each other's.
Jennifer just shook her head, "Not at all."
"So have you decided what you want to do the next three days."
"I have some ideas."
"Are you going to give me a clue."
"No"
"Not even a clue?" Jennifer's lips were sealed as she smiled at him. "Well than… dinner was delicious, I have everything taken care of in the barn. I am going to get cleaned up and maybe head to bed. I don't know what awaits me tomorrow." He went and kissed Jennifer, before he headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
As soon as Cody was in the shower, Jennifer slipped on a white silky night gown. When Cody got into the shower, he had forgotten to bring some clothes with him. So, when he came out, he just had a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Jennifer, you look beautiful." Cody said. "Sorry I forgot some clothes."
Jennifer was breathing harder. "Cody, you look so handsome just the way you are."
"You like what you see?"
"Yes." Cody could not believe what he was seeing. The silk nightgown did not leave much to the imagination.
She walked over to Cody, and they began to kiss deeply and passionately. "Can I see all of you?" Jennifer shook her head yes. Cody's hands went to Jen's shoulders, and he lowered the straps. The night gown began to fall to the ground. Cody continued to kiss Jennifer down her neck. Jennifer reached for the towel wrapped around Cody's waist. She removed the towel and now the two were standing in front of each other naked.
"Jennifer you are so beautiful."
"So are you," As they both looked at each other. In a way they had not seen each other before.
"Can I love you tonight?" Cody was hopeful. Jennifer was nervous and scared. Cody could see her nervousness. "We can take it slow."
Jennifer shook her head. They moved to the bed room where Jennifer laid down on her back. Cody lay next to her. "Is it okay if I touch you?" The counselor had advised when they were ready, Cody should ask permission before moving forward. Jennifer nodded yes. Cody and Jennifer enjoyed each other, and they were able to make love to each other before they fell asleep peacefully.
In the middle of the night, Jennifer awakes and sat straight up in bed in a panic. Making love to Cody triggered all the fear and anxiety she experienced with Roy. The nightmares she thought she put away just came right back. She looked over at Cody as he was sound asleep next to her. Jennifer was glad as she did not want Cody to know. It had felt good to be with him that first time, he helped her to forget the memories for a moment, but once she closed her eyes, it all resurfaced again.
When Cody woke the next morning, he was so happy. He just laid there, watching Jennifer sleep, he felt so lucky. When Jennifer woke up, she gave him a half smile. "I waited a long time for last night. It was perfect and beautiful," Cody brought her closer to him and began kissing her again and she was kissing him back. Cody took Jennifer in his arms. He rolled her onto her back, and he made love to her again. Jennifer is almost in a panic. While he made love to her, she did everything she could not to push him off. She just shut her eyes and tried to disassociate herself as he made love to her. After Cody fell asleep, Jennifer got out of bed, grabbed something to wear, and quietly walked to the kitchen where she cried. Did she make a mistake? Did they move too fast? She loved Cody very much and did not want to disappoint him. She did not know what to do. She got dressed and went down to the lake and just sat for a while to just think. After a long while. Cody came down with coffee in his hands.
"Wonder where you disappeared to. Is everything okay?"
Jennifer shook her head yes. Cody could tell things were not a hundred percent okay. He wrapped his arm around her, and she leaned into him. They sat there a long time.
"So far, I enjoyed what you have planned? What is next?"
Jennifer was little nervous, "hmmm… I was thinking maybe we could paint Hailey's room."
"Ok….. do you have paint colors picked out?" Cody was a bit disappointed. He was hoping for another romantic evening.
"It some left over paint from the lodge when I painted her room there."
"I know where we put it,".
"Are you okay with that?" Jennifer asked.
"Of course, it has always been a boy's room. I can't wait to see it as a girl's room."
"Jennifer, I know something is bothering you. I can tell by the look on your face and you are nervous."
"Cody…. I …. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. "
"Jennifer, please tell me what it is?"
"Cody, I love you very much. There has not been much good in my life. You and Hailey are the two best things that have ever happened to me. I don't want to lose either of you."
"Jennifer what is it? Please talk to me. You won't lose me." Cody held Jennifer tight.
"Last night I thought I was ready."
"Did I hurt you…."
"Last night was great, it really was…."
Cody knew there was more, "But….."
Jennifer took a deep breath, "But… after I fell asleep. All these memories started to flood my mind. I woke up in a panic."
"So, this morning… when we… I… did I…. did I force myself on you?" Cody had tears rolling down his face.
Jennifer shook her head, "No…. Cody...you didn't. I never said no."
"Did I hurt you? Why didn't you stop me or say something."
"You looked so happy. I did not want to disappoint you. I did not want to lose you."
"Jennifer, I don't ever want to hurt you. If we never have sex again, it is okay. Yes, I will be disappointed as it was so good last night. I forgot how good it felt. But that is for me to deal with. I love you and I want you in my life with or without sex," Cody just held Jennifer in his arm, and she just cried. They stayed that way for a long time. "Hey, why don't you lay down for a bit. I am going to go get my run in for my training."
Jennifer nodded yes, "Will you come back?"
"Of course, I love you," Cody kissed the top of Jennifer's forehead. She got up and headed back into the cabin. Cody watched her as she walked.
Cody could not stop thinking about what Jennifer said. Did he screw up? He wanted her and he had her. Was he as bad, as Roy? Cody could not stop thinking about it. It was the real motivation for the run.
Jennifer laid down on the bed in the fetal position and cried until she fell asleep. A few hours later Jennifer woke up. It was dark out. Cody was not in bed with her. She started to look for him in the cabin. The cabin was silent. She went upstairs, no one was there. She looked outside, he was not there. "Cody! Cody!" Jennifer shouted. She ran inside and got the portable radio, flash light and one of the guns. She ran to the barn to see if he was there or if he took his horse out. Both horses were there. Jennifer shouted for Cody, but there was no answer back. She could tell that he had not fed the horses either. She quickly fed them and gave them water before she continued the search. She went down to the lake where they like to sit sometimes. She continued to shout for him. The night was still and quiet. No sign of him anywhere. She ran to the car park and both vehicles were still there. She walked back to the cabin. Still no sign of him.
Jennifer was scared. Scared that Cody may have gotten hurt somewhere, scared that he may have left her. She decided to call the rangers' headquarters to see if anyone had heard from him.
"Ranger base this is Jen."
"This is wingman, please come back Jen. Everything okay."
"Josh, have you seen or heard from Cody?"
"I have not. Is something wrong?"
"He went for a run, and I fell asleep and when I woke up, he was not back. I searched the cabin, went down by the lake, checked the barn and the car park. There is no sign of him anywhere. The horses were all there, but not fed and both vehicles are still here, but no sign of him anywhere. He is just gone."
"How long has he been gone?"
"Maybe four or five hours."
"Jennifer he probably packed in for the night somewhere. Don't panic. Just stay in the cabin, it is too dangerous to go looking for him at night. Let us know when he returns and if he is not back in the morning give us a call and we will go out looking for him."
"Okay Josh"
Next morning Jennifer woke up on the couch. She checked the bed room and saw no sign of Cody. She got dressed and went outside. She checked the barn and went down by the lake.
"Cody where are you?" Jennifer said to herself. She walked back to the cabin, to grab some stuff before heading out. Jennifer packed a backpack with food, water, flash light, first aid kit, rifle, and a portable radio. She stepped outside. Cody was limping up the path by the lake.
"Cody!" Jennifer dropped the bag and put the rifle down. She ran down to him. She hugged him and he hugged her too. "Cody, I love you and I am so sorry."
"Jennifer I am sorry if I hurt you." Jennifer helped him back to the cabin.
Cody saw the bag on the porch. "Where are you going?"
"I was going to look for you," Jennifer stated.
Jennifer helped Cody into the cabin. Jennifer went and called Josh and let him know Cody was back.
"Cody what happened."
"I went out for a run; I could not stop thinking about what you said. I twisted my ankle and fell down a hill." Jennifer got some ice and a towel for it. She helped him take off his shoes and looked at it.
"That looks pretty bad."
"I've had worse. Jennifer, what I am going to ask you might be hard to answer and hard for me to hear. Is that how you and Roy had sex?" Jennifer nodded yes.
"What else would you do when you had sex?"
"Do you really want to know that and why?"
"Honestly, I don't want to know, but I think it might be triggering something in you. If we did other stuff, maybe it won't trigger it."
Jennifer was bit uncomfortable but told Cody what he wanted to know. They talked about ways of dealing with it. Jennifer was apprehensive about Cody's idea. They had just one more night before moving to their new home. Cody wanted to give Jennifer total control of the situation. Whether they tried tonight or not, it was up to Jennifer. Cody set up a candle light dinner, they did some slow dancing, and some kissing. Cody trying to get Jennifer in the mood. It worked and they were finally able to connect and make love to one another. They were in sync with each other. Jennifer woke up in Cody's arms the next morning and knew she had made the right choice to be with Cody. He was the right one for her. He was able to get her past all her insecurities and apprehensions. She was able to make new memories with Cody and help the nightmares go away.
Jennifer was lying in bed with her head on Cody's chest, "Cody, in my wedding vows, I told you that you saved me in more ways than you will ever know. I think you have more than saved me, but you healed my heart. Last night I could finally fully give myself to you. I love you more and more every day."
"Jennifer, I love you too. Last night was incredible. We have a few more hours to go before we need to head back to Tahoe. Would you like to do it again."
"Absolutely."