Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written fiction, the views and opinions in this story are not intended to be viewed as those of the author. Ranma 1/2, Urusei Yatsura, Inuyasha, and Five Pound Gospel are the creations of Rumiko Takahashi, property of their respective rights holders and publishers. Please support the official releases.

CW: This story will contain violence, strong language, sexual humor and situations, drug use, Moroboshi Ataru, and Happosai. You've been warned.

|Queens of the New Age|

It was lunchtime, and again Katie and Akane were enjoying it out in the schoolyard under the trees. It was even more peaceful than yesterday, with the exception of the occasional wandering male student who quickly changed direction and walked away without a word. It was so wonderfully refreshing. If that wasn't justice, Akane didn't want to hear it.

"Hon, for serious, I'll take these idiots being listless zombies over the last couple days any day," Katie said as she opened a lunchbox, compliments of Kasumi.

Akane was in full agreement. "I don't feel an ounce of sympathy or guilt. They all made that bed, and they can lie in it until it becomes their grave!"

"Damn right. Let's not even talk about those pieces of shit," Katie said.

With an unnoticed wince, she brought a hand to her right ear and rubbed it. "You got any plans for later today?"

"Ah? Well, nothing besides studying and training–if you want to come over for dinner again, I'm sure Kasumi would be happy to have you," Akane offered.

Katie blushed, but it cleared up quickly as she averted her eyes. "Ah, nah. I mean… I'd like that, but I was thinkin' we could hang out later at this karaoke place I like to hit up."

Akane was surprised. "There's still a karaoke bar here?!"

All of the ones she knew of closed up months ago.

Katie nodded, as she rubbed her ear again. "Yeah, it's kind of a low-key place. Exclusive clientele, but I'm in good with the owner so we can chill there as long as we want."

Akane couldn't possibly say no to that, she missed Karaoke so much! "Sure, when and where?"

"I don't know, around 20:00?" Katie asked. "I should be done with homework by then."

"Would it be okay if I brought some of my friends?"

"Well, are they cute?" Katie asked, feigning innocence, and Akane flushed brightly.

"Of course they're cute!"

Her friends, Sayuri and Yuka, prided themselves on being cute. Sayuri, the slightly taller of the two, her dark brown hair tied into a ponytail, let out a sneeze as she and Yuka–whose light brown hair was tied into a set of pigtails–walked towards the school gate. Yuka looked over at her friend and grinned.

"Someone's talking about you~" The shorter girl teased.

Sayuri sniffled and shook her head. "Brrr! I hope it's someone nice, and not one of the mobs."

Yuka laughed. "I don't know if they're even capable of thinking, now. They just sit there, staring off into space."

It was such a surreal thing, seeing the boys that had been so hot-blooded and excited only the day before, being reduced to passively going through the motions–avoiding any interaction, let alone confrontation. Being Akane's friends, they shared her strong feelings and lack of sympathy with regards to their gutted mental state. In some ways, compared to Akane, they were even more extreme about their feelings.

Sayuri paused, searching for a joke, and found one. "Bold of you to assume that the mobs could once think."

As Yuka laughed, and they turned to round the corner at the gate and head to a restaurant for lunch, they stopped when they found themselves face to face with a band of five boys wearing Furinkan Boys uniforms.

Right from the get-go they looked like a bunch of delinquents, the tough leader with hair dyed blonde, his plain and bespectacled but dangerous-looking right hand man, the big wide tough guy who wore a baseball cap to hide his face with an ominous shadow, a short cute one who was carrying a bat, and a skinny, perverted-looking one with slick hair who leered at the two girls with a sick grin.

Both Sayuri and Yuka stepped back from the boys.

Just down the road from the school's gate, Suzuki peered around the corner at the confrontation. He frowned when he saw that the students there were Furinkan guys, and not like the ones he and the rest of his crew had seen on their way here. Behind him, another of his friends, a blue-haired boy in a pink suit, tapped on his shoulder.

"Oi, why'd we stop?" The young man asked.

Suzuki looked back. "There's some Furinkan guys over there, they don't look like zombies."

Turning to look back at the group of guys, he frowned. "They look like the sort who'd hang out with those Butsumetsu idiots."

"Those guys? No way!"

Suzuki and the other Hosts turned back as one. There was Soban, Curly, Chibi, and the rest of the Butsumetsu gang gathering around them. They too were looking over at the gate, Curly scowling as he scoped them out.

"Those guys, we've mixed up with those Furinkan punks before," Curly growled.

The blonde leader smirked. "Hey girls! Name's Kodaira, but you can call me Kodaira-senpai! How're you doin'?"

Yuka stepped a bit in front of Sayuri, who shrank back from the menacing aura radiating from the five boys.

Kodaira mock-pouted. "Hey, no need to be so scared. We're just as happy to hear that asshole Kuno is gone as you are. He drove us from the school last year and said if we tried to come back, he'd beat the shit outta us."

Kodaira's bespectacled right hand reached up and adjusted his glasses with his middle finger. "It'll be so nice to actually sit down and continue our education."

"They call themselves the Shining Killers," Curly explained to the Host Club Martial Artists, "They used to run this entire end of Nerima. They'd pick fights with anybody and come back for more, win or lose!"

Suzuki looked at Curly. "We've never dealt with them."

"That's because when Kuno started high school, he drove 'em off. It was a pretty brutal fight, too, but after that they stopped showing up at school… and all the other delinquent crews in Furinkan followed them out until he was the only one left."

As the menacing group advanced on Sayuri and Yuka, who walked backwards into the school's front yard, Nabiki emerged from the front doors. She'd been on her own way to get lunch off campus–when she saw and recognized the young men and walked towards them with an annoyed expression. In her right hand, she one-hand texted on her phone, sending the message and pocketing the device as she reached them.

"Hey, Kodaira!" She called out.

Sayuri and Yuka both looked back and retreated behind Nabiki.

Kodaira looked at her and smiled. "Tendo! It's been a while!"

There was no mistaking the emotion behind the smile to the two younger girls, Kodaira didn't like Nabiki very much. In fact, going by the smiles that the others didn't have, none of them liked her.

"Yeah, you guys were expelled, what are all of you doing here?" She asked.

Suzuki did a double-take upon sight of Nabiki, walking up to those demons without a care. "Who is that?"

Curly was also interested. "Never seen her, but she is fine."

Kodaira laughed at Nabiki's assertion. "We weren't expelled. It's not on our records. We're still Furinkan students."

He gestured to his glasses wearing friend. "Right, Matsunaga?"

"That's right, the only person who said we couldn't come here is Kuno," Matsunaga confirmed.

Nabiki expected this, but not that it'd start the very next day. Oh well. "So you're going to waltz in and go back to all the crap that got Kuno after you? That's phenomenally stupid."

Kodaira's eyebrows rose, before he laughed. "Huh? What's phenomenally stupid to me is that you're going to run your mouth without Kuno-baby to protect you. Don't make me slap the taste out of your mouth, bitch."

"That'll only make it worse," Nabiki assured him.

"You're gonna make it worse if you don't shut up," Kodaira threatened as he got up in Nabiki's face, fist clenched.

At the corner Suzuki grabbed the wall so hard that the concrete wall cracked under his grip, as he prepared to fling himself down the street and kick a hole through Kodaira's head. "That bastard better not…!"

"Hey!"

Kodaira paused and looked a little to his left. He goggled at the sight of Akane and Katie walking over. Akane was cracking her knuckles and watching with a fearsome glare as she approached. "Back off from my sister and my friends, jerk!"

Akane didn't ping to Kodaira at all, actually. He was stuck trying to comprehend the biggest schoolgirl he'd ever seen in his life–easily as tall as Kuno, who was tall among Furinkan students. The rest of his gang turned their attention to the two girls as well, with Matsunaga recognizing Akane where his leader did not.

When the two girls stepped out past the wall and in view of the spectators in the back, further shock radiated through the Hosts and through the Butsumetsu gang.

Suzuki was especially stunned. "That… that girl…!"

Curly's jaw dropped. He'd never seen such a cute girl before. "What the hell? Since when did this school have such babes?!"

Soban shrugged his shoulders. He'd seen better.

Chibi was the only other one not immediately bowled over by Akane. "… That's… that's her! THAT'S HER!"

Curly, Soban, and Suzuki all looked down at Chibi.

"Who?" Soban asked.

"That's the girl that's been kicking the shit out of the guys here," Matsunaga warned Kodaira.

Kodaira did a double-take. "Wait, this little firecracker is your sister, Tendo?"

Chibi, trembling, pointed at Katie. "… And her… the huge one…"

"Yeah, and the human skyscraper with her is why your stupid ass is sauntering in here," Nabiki said.

Katie snorted. "Skyscraper, really?"

She rolled her shoulders and punched her palm, the crack carrying across the schoolyard. "I'm a dang gum mountain."

Nabiki shrugged her shoulders. "My mistake, forgive me."

Kodaira forgot all about slapping Nabiki. "Hey girls, the name's Kodaira. Me and my pals Matsunaga."

The glasses boy adjusted his glasses and nodded.

"Fukiage."

The leering skinny boy licked his lips as he eyed Katie's long legs.

"Okubo."

The large young man–even taller than Katie–radiated his menacing aura more powerfully.

"And Nakamura."

The small cute one waved.

"We're taking over this school," Kodaira said with a bright, bloodthirsty grin.

Akane stared at the five boys, looked at Katie, and then back at them. "I'm Tendo Akane, I've beaten up Kuno before."

Katie scratched the side of her nose. "I'm Katie Izland."

Hooking her thumb back, she indicated the school behind her. "I'm the one who put Kuno through the clock. Y'all need to really rethink this whole thing."

Curly followed where Katie was pointing and stared at the top of the school. "Uh… what happened to the clocktower?"

Chibi gulped as he trembled, as though if he spoke too loud Katie would hear it. "Kuno… the clocktower got wrecked from his body going through it."

Suzuki snapped out of his pretty girl-induced haze like ice-water had been poured down his pants. He did a double-take and looked at Chibi. "Wait… she did that to him?!"

Kodaira laughed. "All right, gimme a second to think it over…"

He attacked, rushing straight for Akane and throwing a punch that she blocked with the back of her forearm. Undaunted, he unleashed a combination of jabs and hooks that were faster than the first blow, but Akane was just as quick to defend against before he lashed out with a surprise kick that she hopped back from.

As Akane hopped from side to side and opened up space between her and Kodaira, Matsunaga attacked Katie, ducking over the right-hand swipe she lashed out at him with and spin-kicking her face. Katie weaved around the kick and traded a quick salvo of blows that left Matsunaga pulling back from her to avoid her long reach.

"Nice moves, Akane-chan!" Kodaira teased as he advanced upon her, keeping her on the defensive with one missed punch, and then another.

Akane deflected another blow with the back of her hand, before a blow caught her across her face. Spinning with the hit, she hopped over him and kicked off his back, sending him stumbling forward. "Gah!"

"I don't need praise from a weakling," Akane snapped back.

When she landed, she heard the sound of a stick rushing through the air and twisted her body around to avoid a nunchaku wielded by Fukiage. Whirling around the weapon while moving quickly himself, the slight young man attempted to bury Akane in unpredictable strikes, the nunchaku swinging towards her from random angles.

With the front and backs of her hands, Akane parried the weapon, loud clacks sounding with each defeated attack.

"Ohhhh!" Cheers went up among the Butsumetsu gang.

"Look at those moves!" Curly said as Akane evaded Fukiage's hits with the slimmest margins and Katie moved and traded blocked blows with Matsunaga in almost movie-esque choreography.

"They're martial artists, both of 'em!" Another boy realized.

"Geez, she fights like Fujinami, but she's cute like Shin…!" The same boy from before was silenced by the other boys, and the Hosts too.

Fukiage's tactic almost worked, as Akane prioritized blocking and deflecting the nunchaku. The second he tried to mix it up and catch her knee with a low kick, though, she stepped inside him and hooked her leg around his. "Huh?!"

With what amounted to a nudge visually to Nabiki, Sayuri, and Yuka, Akane took Fukiage's leg from under him and palm thrust him in the chest, sending him tumbling end over end halfway across the schoolyard.

Akane brought her arm back and up, blocking the kick Kodaira aimed at the side of her head. Turning around, she deflected away from her face two more quick jabs before punching him in the chest, palm-striking his chin to lift him off his feet, and somersaulting to kick him through the air in an arc to crash down at the base of a tree.

"Like I said!" She yelled. "A weakling!"

A Butsumetsu delinquent clapped his hands over his cheeks. "DID SHE JUST DO THAT?!"

Suzuki's jaw fell. "I-incredible!"

Katie parried more of Matsunaga's blows, a pair of punches, before she crossed her arms and stopped a front kick. Recoiling from the blow, Matsunaga turned in place and lunged in low, sweeping at Katie's legs.

She jumped back, then used the back of her hand to knock away a jab. His much faster uppercut connected with her chin, however, knocking her back further. "Ugh!"

Matsunaga laughed and jumped, unleashing a flying roundhouse that Katie only barely blocked. She staggered but stayed on her feet to face him as he came down and landed.

"Ha! Let me guess, Kuno walked right into your hits, right?" He asked.

"Actually, he did," Katie said as Matsunaga suddenly slid to her right again and forced her to block a punch with her elbow.

There was a method to the young man's madness, as he hopped back from Katie's counterattack, and then swerved in from her left this time. As long as he was in front of her, Nakamura could come up on her from behind and put that bat to good use.

"He was a total idiot," Katie said as she slapped down several more punches and tried to return volley. The nimble young man was smart enough to stay out of her reach, her punches and kicks just missing him. "Just swing stick and win, that's all he knew what to do, and it was good enough for you."

Matsunaga snorted. "Yeah, that was a year ago for us. We've improved since then, got our game together, trained like animals…"

At that moment, Nakamura struck, leaping to swing his bat into the back of Katie's head and put her down for the count. This was where he excelled, removing his presence and diminishing it to nothing. Not even the girls watching the fight, with a complete view of it, had noticed that he was moving at all.

With zero presence it was no problem for him to swing and miss Katie's head entirely when she ducked down.

"… And developed tactics for-" Matsunaga's sly one liner for Katie's imminent doming was cut short by Nakamura overshooting and driving the bat into his mouth with the same kind of force reserved for shattering concrete.

Nakamura landed and gaped at Matsunaga, writhing on the ground with his hands over his mouth, screaming into them. "W-what the…?!"

Suzuki blinked once and realized something had happened. "Wait, where'd that runt with the bat come from?"

Curly frowned. Even from here, he hadn't been paying attention to the little guy setting up the ambush until it failed.

Playing it back in his head, he realized something was way off about that. "… Jeez… does she have eyes on the back of her head or something?"

Nakamura, trembling, looked back and up to see Katie towering over him. "You shouldn't be able to…!"

Katie kicked the runt square in the crotch, lifting him off his feet before spinning around and high kicking him into the tree Kodaira lay under.

"Don't tell me what I'm able to do," Katie replied.

She turned and looked down at Matsunaga, now rolling around with his hands over his mouth, crying.

"Definitely uncool."

Fukiage got up, coughing, and recovered his breath. Kodaira was getting up as well, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth. Looking at the nunchaku-wielder, then turning towards Kodaira, Akane sighed in annoyance and assumed a fighting stance. At the very least they weren't done after one, but she did not feel like giving them the credit.

"You couldn't stop and ask around? 'Hey, what happened to Kuno?' You would've learned a lot about the situation here before you came out here to get your butts kicked," Nabiki offered from the sidelines as she filmed the fight with her phone.

Kodaira snorted, and grinned. "The truth is? We heard some girls had beaten Kuno and most of the boys in the school, and thought he might've fallen off. We were going to come in, put you bitches in your places, and then enjoy a nice hot long summer."

"This piece of shit," Katie muttered as she walked over and joined Akane's side.

"And now that you're here getting your butts kicked?" Nabiki asked.

"Well, we're going to fight like men, and pull out a miracle!" Kodaira said as he reached behind him and discreetly pulled out not a miracle, but a knife. Fukiage, who was whirling his nunchaku around like the Bruce Lee reject he wished he was, sidestepped to just behind his leader.

"A knife!" Soban said in alarm.

Taking the knife in both hands swiftly, Kodaira ran straight for Katie low and fast, with every intention of plunging it into her gut. Seeing the glint of the blade, Katie realized that this idiot was actually coming after her with killing intent… and a severe case of tunnel vision.

Just as he reached her, Kodaira thrust the blade forward and narrowly missed as Katie sidestepped the attack by stepping to her right. Behind him, as if he were in his boss's shadow, Fukiage leaped with the clubs of the nunchaku held in his hands, to swing them down on Katie's head. Katie brought up her left arm and lunged–catching Fukiage across the stomach with a lariat so hard it knocked the wind from him and made him drop the nunchaku.

Just behind her, at the exact same moment, Akane grabbed Kodaira by his right arm at the end of his overextended stab, and disarmed him of his knife with a vengeance, breaking bones in his hand and causing him to yell in pain. As Katie spun around with Fukiage still folded over her arm, Akane swung Kodaira around and threw him at Katie. In turn, Katie threw Fukiage–and the two young men collided with bone-crunching violence and collapsed to the ground in a heap.

Sayuri and Yuka winced.

The spectators outside the gate fell silent.

Nabiki kept filming, as Katie walked over and placed her foot on Kodaira's back. He let out a weak, painful moan.

"It'll be a miracle if any of you walk away from here," Katie said as Akane joined her side.

Both girls, with only a few scuffs and bruises for their trouble, turned and looked over at the intimidatingly large form of Okubo, who still stood poised to attack. Okubo continued to radiate menace, face hidden by his hat as he gazed down upon the two as well as Nabiki, Sayuri, and Yuka.

The second Akane took a step towards him, he raised his head up, revealing a fresh and youthful face that was sweating profusely as he lifted his hands up in surrender.

"Whoa, wait, I don't wanna fight. I'm just here to be big and look mean," he quickly said.

Katie sighed in exasperation and nodded off to the side. "Get the hell out here then, man."

"And don't let us see you around here ever again!" Akane threatened.

"Yeah, I'm out! Peace!" Okubo said as he turned and fled straight down the empty street.

"Little bitch," Katie muttered before she realized that it just meant one less problem to cut into their lunch time. "Ah well."

She looked over at Akane and nudged her with her elbow. "Dang, girl."

Akane looked up at Katie and smiled, before Sayuri and Yuka ran up to them. "Akane! Izurando-san!"

"Hey, are you all okay?" Akane asked them as Nabiki took her time to bring up the rear.

"We're fine," Yuka said, "But that was amazing! You walked all over them!"

Akane dismissed her own feat. "They were no worse than the idiot boys I fought before."

Katie agreed. "Yeah, if Kuno could handle them, they weren't going to do shit to us."

Nabiki reached them. "Yeah, but Kuno didn't style on them like you did. He actually took a few solid hits before he managed to bring them down."

"That's Kuno's damage," Katie replied and Akane, Sayuri, and Yuka giggled. "Still though, there aren't more of those dumbasses out there, are there?"

Nabiki would know, and she provided the answer. "Yeah, there are. Furinkan was full of idiots like them when me and Kuno started our first year. He single-handedly drove them all out, either by beating them senseless or being crazier than they could stand."

"Oh shoot, he was actually good for something?" Katie asked. "Not a problem, any of those varmints come around here, I'll give 'em even more a reason to take their home-schooling like some good proper pieces of shit."

"I'm with you on that!" Akane agreed.

Nabiki folded her arms. "Word's getting 'round that you toppled the king, and if these idiots thought we were an easy mark, imagine who else is watching the throne."

Katie shrugged her shoulders. "As long as they ain't boring, they can be as dumb as they want. I'm down for any ol' rodeo."

Akane turned to Sayuri and Yuka, herself determined and a little excited about the prospect of keeping them and the rest of the school safe from weirdos and creeps. "Don't worry at all, Furinkan will be a nice school to go to when we're done with it."

"With you protecting us, it will be," Yuka said.

Sayuri agreed. "We'll support you and Katie-senpai one billion percent!"

Katie smiled. "How about showing your support by joining Akaneko and I for karaoke tonight? I happen to know a place that's still open on this side of town."

Both girls stopped, before Sayuri gasped. "There's still a karaoke bar around here?!"

"Yes! Of course we'll go!" Yuka agreed.

A karaoke bar still around in Nerima was news to Nabiki, too. "Hey, I want in on this."

Katie shrugged her shoulders. "Sure; long as you keep it on the low. The owner doesn't want everyone hearing about it, she caters to a very small clientele and would like to keep it that way."

She looked at Sayuri and Yuka. "Same goes for you, too. Keep it a secret, okay?"

Both Sayuri and Yuka nodded. "Of course."

Nabiki likewise complied. "I'll sing in a closet to a smartphone if it means I have one less reason to put up with those condescending jerks in Japan for affordable karaoke."

"I promise it'll be a little more tolerable than that," Katie assured her.

Sayuri looked at her watch. "Oh no! We gotta get our lunch, fast!"

She and Yuka both bolted out of the gates, the latter waving back at them. "We'll see you tonight! Text us the details, Akane!"

"Sure thing!" Akane said.

Nabiki left to follow after the girls. "I'll be there, of course. Thanks for sorting this whole thing out, by the way."

"It's cool," Katie said.

Akane responded with a little more surprise. "Oh, um… you're welcome, Nabiki."

As Nabiki walked away and fell out of earshot, Katie looked over at Akane.

Curious about her reaction, she asked. "What?"

Akane looked back up at Katie, as they turned and went back to the tree they hung out under. "Nabiki doesn't normally show her gratitude, it was just a little nice to hear."

Katie found that interesting, and maybe a useful insight to the character of the middle Tendo. "Huh… hmm…"

Reaching up again, Katie dug into her ear and grunted in annoyance. "Gh… God damn it…"

"What is it?" Akane asked.

Walking past Nakamura's discarded baseball bat, Katie kicked it up into the air, caught it, and whipped it into the sky. Akane followed the bat's flight to its end–crashing into a quadrotor drone that exploded with an electrical pop as its batteries detonated.

"That," she said as they watched the remains of the drone plummet from the sky.

Akane's hands went to her hips. "Was that called for?"

"Maybe, the damn thing's been pointing a camera at us this entire time."

Akane did a double-take towards the drone again. "Wait, really?"

Katie looked back down the empty street, where the Butsumetsu gang and their Host Martial Artist rivals had been gawking. "They weren't the only ones peeking us out."

Down the street, Okubo had made it to the corner when he had been grabbed and dragged into an alleyway by no less than a dozen young men. Hustled into a corner, he pressed himself against it in fear as he looked up at Soban–who was still wider and over a head taller than his own considerable size. In front of him, Suzuki and Curly stood together, the former wiping his hands off in preparation for getting them dirty, while the former cleared his throat.

"All right, Okubo-chan," Curly chimed, as he and Suzuki stepped closer to him.

"We want… the details."

A/N: The role Urusei Yatsura plays in this story cannot be understated. Before it was properly codified, I had the vaguest idea of what to do with the UY cast in the original story. Now I do... God help us all.