Disclaimer: The following is a fan-written fiction, the views and opinions in this story are not intended to be viewed as those of the author. Ranma 1/2, Urusei Yatsura, Inuyasha, and Five Pound Gospel are the creations of Rumiko Takahashi, property of their respective rights holders and publishers. Please support the official releases.

CW: This story will contain violence, strong language, sexual humor and situations, drug use, Moroboshi Ataru, and Happosai. You've been warned.

|Day of the Intruders|

As Katie and Akane had run off to have lunch near halfway across the District, Nabiki was on her way to her own lunch. Rather than suffer the gossip circles in class, she was outside at the school's courtyard when she was confronted by the unexpected sight of Vice Principal Okamada watching a small group of male students vegetating on a grassy knoll near the baseball field.

While these boys may have looked less down and out than others, on closer inspection they were just as pale and dead-eyed as their more actively roaming peers. They were wallowing about in their own misery like the others, occupying space with their self-pity and lack of reflection.

Seeing nothing of particular worth there or with the Vice Principal, Nabiki shrugged her shoulders and began to walk past them.

"It has been days now and reaching them is still difficult," he said aloud just as she passed closest by his back.

Of course he was talking to her, nice of him to do it without looking at her. "Sorry about that sensei, I'm a bit confused as to why that's my problem."

He looked back at her. "Pardon this old man."

"I'll do you one better and not care." It was nothing personal, Nabiki really just wanted to eat her lunch.

Instead of a confirmation and a gentle shooing, Okamada let in a deep breath. "The school bears more than anyone else's share of responsibility for what has happened since things changed."

As Nabiki prepared to walk away and let him ramble to himself, he continued.

"It is a shame. This is not their fault; their youth had filled them with such passion… with no one to guide or accept it."

He shook his head slowly, as Nabiki stopped and turned in place to face him with a cocked up right eyebrow. "Well, that's still a you, the faculty, and the profitable idiot you enabled's problem."

Okamada was still for a long moment, then finally turned his head to look back at her. "This is not a school purely of young men," he pointed out.

Oh good, eye contact, now he could see her smirk asserting that she wasn't having any of this.

"It certainly isn't now." She offered an open palm to him. "But what do I know? I'm not the one who made them this way. After all, boys will be boys, why dare to interrupt their youthful exuberance?"

His old, tired eyes sharpened, and Nabiki's smirk spread into the arrogant sneer she normally regarded for the backs of people's heads. Something she normally didn't give away for free, but he earned it.

She brought her hand back and flicked it as though to clear the air. "Anyway, I'd rather not stand here, and have you blather at me about how angry you are at my little sister. My time is money, and you don't interest me enough to give you a discount on it."

A voice from on high called out, as an unexpected rain of black rose petals drifted down.

"Even if I warranted such interest, I'd gladly pay full price for your time, Tendo Nabiki! Ohohohohohohoho!"

Nabiki turned and looked towards the trees and sure enough there was the Black Rose herself, perched on a branch amidst a tornado of her signature motif, wearing her black skirt and white blouse denoting the St. Hebereke uniform.

Okamada craned his head back a little more to see Kodachi, and adjusted his tie enough to practically strangle himself, before he strode off and headed for the front of the school.

"I had honestly planned for a boring lunch," Nabiki said as Kodachi leaped gracefully from the tree and soared towards her with the grace of a swan before landing daintily before her.

"But unpredictability is the spice of life!" The younger Kuno declared, a slight smirk on her face. "Worry not about your classes for the rest of the day, I require someone to show me around this school and Izurando-san and your kind sister appear to be absent."

The middle Tendo managed to avoid wincing, concealing that with a mask of calculated indifference. "Sure, but my afternoons aren't decided for free."

Kodachi raised the back of her hand close to her mouth and chortled. "Ohohoho! You are far too used to Tachi's whining about fair recompense I see. As such, I have set aside a considerable payment of fifty thousand yen to start off with, with a bonus on top of that depending on how today fares."

Nabiki walled off her reservations in the proverbial basement alongside her enthusiasm at such recompense to prevent showing it. "Well, where to start? The Clock Tower?"

"I have already collected all the pieces of my brother that I need; let us begin with the athletic facilities first and we shall wind our way around." Kodachi said.

"You're the guest, come right this way," Nabiki said.

As they continued towards the back of the school, Kodachi matched Nabiki's pace. "Pray tell, where are your sister and Izurando-san?"

Nabiki shrugged her shoulders. "Against all conventional wisdom, Katie decided she was going to Tomobiki for lunch, and because Akane's enthusiasm for having a senpai she respected outweighed her own rational thinking, she followed along."

"Tomobiki!" Kodachi tapped a finger to her cheek. "Where Moroboshi Ataru lives? My, I wonder what fare inspires such recklessness."

Watching the two disappear around the corner, Vice-Principal Okamada felt an unhealthy twitch seize his face. Bringing his hand to his face he let out a low, seething sound before he recomposed himself and stepped from the corner and followed them to make sure that no trouble came about from the Young Miss's visit.

There was already a great deal going on today.

00000

Down the street from Tomobiki High School, throngs of students were heading in the direction of the neighborhood''s shops and restaurants. At the very front of the stampede, Ataru led the charge with Ryūnosuke and Shinobu trailing just behind and Lum flying directly above him and to his right. With the school behind him and the open streets ahead, he couldn't help the massive grin on his face and yelled back.

"Everyone! They can't catch all of us! Split up and have the greatest lunch of our youth!"

"YEAH!" The students who could hear him responded, and into side-streets and alleys the mob began to split up and filter out across the neighborhood.

Lum flew closer to Ataru, batting her eyelashes. "Darling~! Where do you want to get Ramen?"

"Someplace that has good Tanuki Ramen!" Ataru replied.

Clapping her hands together, Lum knew just the place. "Neko Noodles then, they have that, and Ramen Rice I want to try!"

"Sounds great!" Ataru memory holed Lum an instant later and looked at Shinobu. "Want to share some ramen with me, Shinobu-chan?"

"Pass!" Shinobu said, and not even because of the look of violent fury that appeared on Lum's face. "I'm getting karaage."

She called out to Ryuunosuke. "Where are you going?"

Ryūnosuke's cheeks turned red. "I-I already told you! I got my lunch!"

She looked ahead and to a familiar street corner, where right around it a certain Okonomiyaki stand would be waiting. "In fact, I'm gonna go back and get it."

"You left your lunch at school?!" Shinobu asked.

"N-no!" Ryūnosuke stopped and jogged in place, while Ataru, Shinobu, and Lum came to a stop around her. "It ain't that! I just…"

Ataru rolled his eyes as students rumbled past them. "We get it, the food at Hamachiya sucks and you wanna eat out. You can admit that to us, Ryū-chan."

Ryūnosuke grimaced and turned away from her friends and Ataru. "I ain't admitting anything! It's complicated, okay?!"

Shinobu looked at the corner where Ucchan's waited just beyond, then back at Ryūnosuke. "It's a boy, isn't it?"

Now all of Ryūnosuke's face was red. "NO!"

A dark miasma surrounded Ataru as he stepped up to Ryūnosuke and Shinobu. "Who is this douchebag? I'll destroy him…"

Electricity crackled around Lum as she prepared to destroy him.

Ryūnosuke shouted to the heavens. "It's none of your business!"

There was a thump and the sound of metal bending and glass breaking. Ataru, the girls he cared for, and Lum all turned to see a Black Sunglasses rebound off the side of a van that looked like it could've belonged to a teacher who did deliveries as a side-hustle, parked on the edge of the intersection. A second Black Sunglasses clipped the roof of it and tumbled over it to fall to the ground on the other side, both men groaning in no small amount of pain.

Students who had elected to go to Ucchan's had stopped short and formed a half-perimeter just around the van to see what was going on just beyond the corner.

One of their teachers then came hobbling around the corner under his own power, his face pale and bathed with sweat that soaked his shirt, while the front of his pants was soaked with something else. He didn't even pay Ataru any mind as he fled past them, whimpering.

The group zipped over to the corner to see what the violence was all about, and Ataru's face lit up, Lum's darkened, and Shinobu and Ryūnosuke both beheld with confusion, Tendo Akane standing triumphant over the remainder of the brutalized Black Sunglasses, dusting off her skirt. Katie, having just finished her Okonomiyaki, was sucking her fingers clean, and Ucchan was politely applauding the effort.

"Thanks for handling that. How about I give you an Okonomiyaki for fr–half off?" Ucchan asked.

Katie, who caught that, glanced back at him. "No judging the hustle here, hon."

Ucchan really liked this girl. "Right?"

He turned towards the students watching. "And just in time, my lunch rush gets here. Hey y'all, if you're lookin' for Okonomiyaki, now's the time!"

Katie turned to Akane. "If you're goin' for it, I'd get in line if I were you."

Akane looked back at Katie with an unsettled expression. Katie's cheerful visage turned flat.

"He's right behind me, isn't he?"

Akane nodded.

Katie turned around, caught Ataru by his neck, and hoisted him into the air with his feet well off the ground. As he squirmed and held onto her forearm to keep from asphyxiating or blacking out, she asked him. "You just don't know how to stop, do you?"

All but doing pull ups using her forearm, Ataru gurgled back. "Whenever I see you, you take my breath away…!"

Katie let him go and stepped back-to-back with Akane, as she glared at Lum–who met her gaze with the same harsh intent.

"What are you even doing here?" Lum demanded to Akane.

"Certainly not to see any of you!" Akane snapped back.

"We were just about to get going, in fact," Katie added.

Ataru gasped. "But you just got here! Can't we have lunch together?"

Katie stepped back and looked up at Lum. "You wanna zap your man, already?"

She did it, channeling her contempt for Akane, and Ataru hit his back spasming harder than usual.

"Cool," Katie said before addressing her kouhai. "Still want Oko-"

"No," Akane cut back. "Let's just go back. I'll eat Kasumi's bento."

Ucchan mock pouted. "Oh well, I'll getcha next time!"

He noticed Ryūnosuke standing over by the street corner and brightened. "Oi, Ryū! You made it!"

Shinobu, whose attention was torn between the two Furinkan girls with an apparent history with Ataru, now had something new to intrigue her as she watched Ryūnosuke's entire face turn an even deeper shade of red before the girl looked anywhere but directly at Ucchan.

"H-hey…" She said loud enough for Ucchan to hear across the street.

Katie took notice of Ryūnosuke, and her left eyebrow shot up fast with her inquisitive hum. Akane noticed Katie's look and glanced back and forth between them.

He started preparing a quartet of Okonomiyaki. "Just gimme a second and I'll get your order put together, okay?"

"Uh… th-thanks."

Shinobu sidled over to Ryūnosuke, her eyes narrowed, and her lips curled into a smile. "Ah, is it springtime again for Ryū-chan?"

Ryūnosuke stomped off towards Ucchan's stand. "It's springtime for everyone, that's how spring works!"

She barely made it halfway across the street, when Ataru grabbed onto her left leg. "Ryū-chan, don't do it! He may be young, handsome, run his own business, know how to cook, and have a charming and approachable personality, but he can't love you like I can!"

Ryūnosuke shook her leg in an attempt to dislodge him. When it failed, she looked over at Shinobu. "Hey, you got a…?"

Shinobu nodded. "Oh! Yeah, yeah…" She produced a crowbar from her bookbag, and as Ryūnosuke leaned back, she carefully pried Ataru's arm from around Ryūnosuke's leg, and both girls stepped back.

Another monstrous zap crashed down on Ataru not a second after that. Katie couldn't help but snicker, but she really tried not to because Lum was still giving Akane the evil eye as she fried her fiancé.

"It's not funny," Akane muttered out of the corner of her mouth at her.

"I think it's hilarious right now," she whispered back.

Akane glared at Lum a final time. "Can we go? I don't want to be here when this gets any stupider."

It was at that moment that Mendō, Onsen Mark, and the Black Sunglasses who accompanied them emerged around the corner. Seeing the unmistakable scion of the wealthiest family in all of Japan and his bodyguard detail, Katie pursed her lips and looked down at Akane. Her kouhai hadn't looked back, but her dead-eyed expression spoke volumes of her disappointment in herself.

"… Shit," she muttered.

"Girl, you gotta stop tempting fate like this," Katie suggested as Mendō gawked at the two of them like he hadn't seen girls before, let alone ones from a different school.

Shinobu and Ryūnosuke took stock of Mendō's arrival with a reaction not unlike Akane's own, as the wealthy young man abandoned all thought of collaboration with the school and even of disciplining Ataru to approach the Furinkan girls. With a speed to rival Ataru's, he eliminated the distance between himself and Akane and Katie, standing before them with an air of charm and sophistication wreathed across his shoulders.

"Hello, young women of Furinkan High School, it is my sincerest hope that you haven't been accosted too rudely by Moroboshi," he said.

Akane looked back at Mendō, then looked up at Katie. She then held up her fist.

Staring uncomprehendingly for only an instant, Katie nodded and held up her own. They began to shake their fists at one another.

"Jan-ken-pon."

Katie won.

"Jan-ken-pon."

Akane won. Mendō stared in confusion.

"Jan-ken-pon."

Akane won again and handed her bento box to Katie.

She turned to face Mendō fully and put her hands together before stating firmly and clearly, so there would be no misunderstanding. "If you say another word to us, you will not just taste pavement. I will force-feed you the entire street."

Mendō took a step back from Akane, saying nothing.

Akane bowed to him. "Thank you, Mendō-san."

She took her lunch box back from Katie and bowed again to Ucchan. "And thank you for your wonderful service and pleasant company. We are sorry that we could not stay longer."

"Ain't no thing, sugar," Ucchan assured her. "We'll meet again soon enough."

The two Furinkan girls began leaving, Katie nodding to Ucchan as they passed his stand. Lum watched them walk away with no small satisfaction, but she wasn't unawares enough to not zap Ataru when he tried to slip away to flank and stop them.

As Tomobiki's most notorious student flopped back down like a fish, Shinobu noted how intense Lum's anger was, and she whispered to Ryūnosuke. "I don't think I've ever seen Lum this hostile before."

Ryūnosuke, glad that no one was talking about her interaction with Ucchan anymore, nodded. "I don't think Mendō's ever backed up from a threat of violence before, either."

Today was a day of firsts, as both remembered Onsen Mark was standing there, but he looked more interested in making sure the Furinkan girls walked away than trying to discipline any of them. Mendō, the brown-noser, was there to more than pick up the slack though as he drove the end of his sheathed wooden sword into Ataru's back before he could recover and squirm away.

"Moroboshi," he said with imperious grandeur, "This rioting began with you, and it shall end with you. You're going back to the school all students will return there with you."

Ucchan became indignant again. "Hey now, Mendō! Don't you have a lick of respect for business?!"

Mendō turned to Ucchan, ready to cut down the impudent young man for enabling the delinquency as the earlier teacher had before but stopped as his eyes fell upon the vendor. It was like something had caught in his throat to prevent him from lashing out at Ucchan, even though he certainly wanted to. He glared at him, trying to parse what was going on–when something occurred to him and his gaze slowly panned over to Ryūnosuke, his eyes widening as they did.

Ataru grabbed Mendō by the ankle and flipped the wealthy young man off his feet and onto his back with a thud. Standing just as quickly, he dusted himself off and glared at Lum. "If you zap me like that one more time, we're not getting ramen!"

Folding her arms, Lum turned her head away from him. "I wouldn't zap you if you didn't try to flirt with rude girls like that one!"

Ataru grinned. "So I can flirt with girls as long as they aren't rude?"

Lum whirled on him, furious. "I DIDN'T SAY THAT!"

Mendō was up again, swinging his sword down on Ataru's head.

"Hold that thought," Ataru said to his fiancée, before effortlessly catching the sword between his hands. "You know damn well this-"

He turned to his body to avoid the follow up kick to the groin. "-doesn't work on me, Mendō!"

"No more distractions, Moroboshi!" Mendō shouted. "You're going back to class!"

"Who's going to make me, you?" Ataru yelled back.

Onsen Mark's large hand clamped down hard on Ataru's right shoulder.

Looking back at his teacher for a moment, Ataru turned back to Mendō. "… Him?"

Onsen Mark shook Ataru violently. "Yes! I'm your teacher, damn it!"

The shaking proved ill-advised as Ataru simply let himself go limp, causing Mark to accidentally chuck the boy away from him.

"If that kind of weak sauce worked on me, I'd still be back at school!" Ataru claimed, having rolled to his feet to strike a heroic pose. "Maybe work on being a teacher people can respect first before you try it again!"

Onsen Mark growled. "If you'd stopped undermining me at every turn, this would never happen."

As long as you ignored Onsen Mark and every teacher letting Mendo do what he wanted, it did indeed look like the source of his woes was just Ataru. No one else present felt like pointing that out, mainly because they were paying attention to Ataru, who was climbing atop a nearby car.

"Hey teach," Ataru jeered. "Maybe I'd have less of a reason to undermine you if every your every single move wasn't aimed at stepping on my neck."

"Get down from there already, Moroboshi!" Mendo shouted, pointing his sword at his sworn enemy all dramatic like. "Someone like you doesn't belong out in society anyways!"

Ryūnosuke looked at Shinobu. "Is this really what this is about?"

Shinobu sighed. "Maybe."

Ataru ignored her and the shaking to deliver his response to Mendō. "Yeah yeah, I've heard it all before, but if you wanna take me in, you best bring an army!"

Ataru just finished his boast when the ground suddenly started to vibrate.

"An earthquake?" Onsen Mark asked, confused before another sound could be made out over the rumbling–metal scraping against metal and pavement.

Lum spotted it first, from her position floating above ground. "What is that?"

That was a freshly made Typ 10 Main Battle Tank pulling up into view and parking itself in the center of the intersection adjacent to Ucchan's stand. Mendō, Onsen Mark, Ryūnosuke, Shinobu, and the other students standing around gawked at the armored war machine in shocked silence.

"Well that's just inappropriate timing," Ataru lamented, before he raised his voice to shout to the tank. "Hey! I was just joking! You JSDF jerks aren't even allowed here!"

"Oh you were?" A very prim, proper and gentle female voice came from the loudspeakers on the tank. "Well then that just makes this excellent comedic timing, right Moroboshi-sama?"

The color faded from Mendō's face. "No."

Before anyone else could react, the hatch opened and a very pretty girl with long brown hair emerged, wearing a beautiful dark kimono with red clouds, and a kind smile that the more perceptive could identify as a reaction to "successfully hitting a small animal with a rock."

"Good morning, everyone, Mendō Ryōko has arrived!"

"Oh hey, Ryōko-chan!" Ataru waved, putting on his best smile. "What brings you here?"

Ryōko waved, even as everyone else in the area slowly backed from the girl in the tank, then turned away from Ataru with the sleeve of her kimono brought up to conceal the lower half of her face. "I am afraid it is nothing good."

"Huh?" Ataru asked, as he stepped off the car. He stopped, looked at the tank, and then at Mendō. "Wait… are you here to help your brother?!"

Ryōko nodded, shamefully. "I overheard my dearest brother discussing his ambitions for this day." Ryōko turned to her older brother with soulful eyes. "And I have resolved to join you on the field of battle, to see victory in your honor, and the honor of the Mendō family!"

"Ryōko, you…!" Mendō growled.

Her smile returned, brightly, horrifying, as she brushed off his glare. "So that is why I have brought an armored unit to assist in crushing this rebellion!"

Mendō stomped up to the side of the tank, brandishing his sword. "THIS IS AN ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY ESCALATION, Ryōko!"

"Ah, what was that dear brother?" Ryōko turned towards him, the tank turret moving with her to swat Mendō with the barrel. Struck hard, he went flying into the side of the building across from Ucchan's stand, going through the wooden fence surrounding it and leaving an imprint in its brick wall.

Onsen Mark whirled around to look at where Mendō had gone into the wall. "Ah! M-Mendō-kun!"

As Mendō was the cause of all this, no one else expressed concern for him.

Ignoring what had happened completely, Ataru stepped up to the tank and spoke his–voice heavy with gravitas. "Wait! You cannot simply aid your brother, not after all we've been through together!"

Ryōko looked ready to cry. "Moroboshi-sama… don't force me to choose between the most important men in my heart, my beloved… and my dearest brother!"

Shinobu then called out. "What about Tobimaro-san?"

Ryōko looked at Shinobu and Ryūnosuke, the tank's turret turning with her to point its cannon at the two. "Who?"

Shinobu's blood froze, and she looked away. "Excuse me, forget I said anything."

Ataru bowed his head, as a gentle wind blew across the intersection, catching his and Ryōko's hair. "Ryōko-chan… I understand the admiration you have for your brother, but he is an enemy not only to myself, but to the freedom that all clamor for. Please, see it within your heart to turn against his ambitions, and fight not just for the right of the hungry, but for our love!"

His words struck Ryōko, who looked down at her kimono-covered hand in earnest consideration. "… M-Moroboshi-sama…"

"… Ryōko-chan…" Ataru responded, as cherry blossoms blew through the air, around and between them.

The tank's turret swung around, and the business end of its 120mm cannon came down to point at Ataru, whose expression immediately flipped to one of bewildered surprise.

"Eh?"

Ryōko, tears falling from her face, called out dramatically. "Forgive me, Moroboshi-sama, but I am still a daughter of… the Mendō family! F… FIRE!""

As ordered, the tank fired.

Instead of an explosion, however, the thump of compressed air releasing stunned most everyone else, as an octopus-shaped beanbag round rocketed from the muzzle and straight into Ataru's crotch. Doubled over like he was imploding, Ataru went flying towards Ucchan's cart, only to crash into and go through another car parked on the side of the street.

"Ataru!" Shinobu gasped.

Lum shot off after him, genuinely concerned. "Darling!"

Ryūnosuke swallowed, seeing the Toyota Cresta be effectively shorn in half by Ataru crashing into it. "WHAT KIND OF IDIOT SHOOTS SOMEONE WITH A TANK?!

"Oh, do not worry. It's not a real tank gun, it's an air cannon." Ryōko assured her horrified audience.

Onsen Mark called out. "That doesn't make it any better, young lady!"

Ryōko brought a hand to her cheek and giggled. "I think it's just fine, sensei. When you are dealing with unruly students who won't listen to reason, I believe there is a lesson we can learn from the Chinese."

The barrel of the cannon moved to point at Ryūnosuke and Shinobu.

"And that is, much like that square where nothing happened," Ryōko said as her smile grew. "There is no problem that cannot be solved with more tanks."

To punctuate the point, the ground immediately began to shake, and windows rattled as the sound of more tank treads overwhelmed the area.

A/N: The most evil character Rumiko Takahashi ever created, and yes I'm counting the Mermaid Saga. Ryoko is a force that even when played up for laughs is pretty horrifying.